Benson (1979–1986): Season 1, Episode 5 - Conflict of Interest - full transcript

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(DOG BARKING)

Miss Kraus, I hope I
haven't insulted you.

No, no.

Let me take a shot at it.

I personally fixed a
special breakfast for you.

Sausage und Eggs Dusseldorf,

and you hardly touched a bite.

Miss Kraus, believe
me, it's not the cooking.

It's the cook.

It's these darn state elections.



Every campaign
function I attend,

I have to eat the same meal.

Dry chicken, wrinkled peas,

crusty mashed potatoes.

Cold gravy with the skin on it.

I had six yesterday.

Well, at least, Governor,

you won't have to eat
that meal on the 22nd.

I know, Benson,
because on the 22nd

I'll be here to see
Katie in her school play.

Just so you'll recognize her,

she'll be the cute
blonde with blue eyes.

About so high.

Right. That's what I meant.



You've been missing
quite a lot lately, sir.

Katie's teacher
called yesterday.

Katie's been misbehaving
and talking in class.

Well, I'll tell her you talked
to me about her talking,

and I'll talk to her about it.

She misses you when
you travel so much.

And I think she's
messing up in school

because she
needs your attention.

That's why it's important
for you to be at that play.

I'll be there.
Thank you, Benson.

Here you are. I've been
looking all over for you.

Oh, that wasn't
necessary. I was right here.

Well, you shouldn't be.

At 10:00 you're
addressing the Rotary Club

and by noon you have to be in
Mountain Lake with the Oddfellows.

Better take your swim trunks.

Taylor, make sure
the 22nd is clear.

Yes, Benson, I know.

Katie's play. I don't want to
hear another word about it.

Now, the Governor has absolutely
no commitments on the 22nd.

What about my play?

I was just telling Benson, honey,
I wouldn't miss it for the world.

Oh, good. By the way,
they want the parents

to help out with the
scenery the next few nights.

Oh, well, Katie, I... I know.

But I figured it
was worth a shot.

Katie, I just can't.

But, Benson, would
you mind filling in for me?

Well, as long as
you can't be there.

But it's supposed to be parents.

Well, maybe we could fool 'em.

Honey, it's just that I'm
a little busy right now.

You see, Katie,

your father has to campaign
for the state elections.

Now, you're a little young,
but I'll try to explain it to you.

You see... If you
can swing a plurality

of at least four of the
undecided counties,

you will preserve the
majority in the State Assembly.

Anything else you wanna know?

Governor, you
really must be going.

Governor, look what just
came for you in the mail.

My seed catalog?

No, sir, it's from
the President.

Of the United States?

I got a letter from the President.
I wonder what he wants.

I think he wants you to open it.

I never got a letter from
the President before.

I did. It said "greetings."

It's certainly is
beautiful paper.

We used to make this
bond at the paper mill.

30 cents a sheet, I'll bet.

There's no profit in this paper,
really, but my father always felt...

Sir, what does it say?

Oh, uh... (MUMBLING)

He's inviting me to a governor's
conference at the White House.

Hey.

Katie, isn't that
wonderful? When is it?

Your father is going
to meet a great leader.

Respected and admired by,

by at least 17% of the country.

Sir, that's quite an honor.

What's the date?

Um, oh, the 24th.

Oh, well, in that
case you can go.

Sir, that is wonderful news,

but the President
is two weeks away

and we really have to hurry.

Do you realize that you have

an impatient bunch
of Elks waiting?

You better watch where you step.

And you better get to school.

Daddy, will you be
home before bedtime?

I want to show you my costume.

Oh, um, your last speech
is in Carsonville at 6:00.

The plane leaves at 8:00.
You should make it easily.

Oh, good. Yes,
I'll be there, honey.

You can count on it.

Great!

I'll have them bring
the car around.

You know, Governor, while
you're in the White House,

you should give it
a good once-over.

I mean, you never know.

This president was a one-term
governor that nobody ever heard of.

That's true, Taylor, but...

I wonder what are your chances

of becoming President
of the United States.

About the same as me
becoming King of Sweden.

Turn around.

You look beautiful.

Miss Kraus, I'm supposed
to be a mean old witch.

I wanna look ugly.

Liebchen, I can only do
so much with a costume.

To look ugly, you
have to feel ugly.

Feel ugly? Yeah.

Think of something rotten.

More rotten.

Disgusting.

How's that?

You're not mad enough.

You need to concentrate
on bad things.

Things that upset you.

Think of the people around you,

always doing stupid things.

Getting in your way.

Interfering with your work.

Upsetting you in the kitchen
with their stupid questions.

Always under your feet.

You want to stamp them out!

I hate them! I hate them!

Miss Kraus. Yes?

How did I look?

I didn't notice.

Boy, I can't wait for my
daddy to see me like this.

Yeah, but you
need more practice.

Now, can you laugh?

No.

No, like a witch.

You try it.

No, meaner.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Daddy! Quick.

We'll surprise him.

You hide in the bathroom.

When he comes in, you jump out.

KATIE: Okay.

Come in.

Katie.

(IMITATING WITCH LAUGHING)

Hi, Katie.

"Hi, Katie"?

Is that all you can say?

Weren't you even scared?

Well, I was... Benson.

(EXCLAIMS)

Not funny, Benson.

I thought you were Daddy. Daddy.

Ah, yes, about Daddy.

He's not coming
tonight. I knew it.

Well, it's not his fault, Katie.

He got fogged in, in a
town called Carsonville,

about 100 miles from here.

He promised to see
my costume tonight.

I don't vote, so I
guess he didn't care.

Didn't care, Katie? Didn't care?

Well, of course
your father cared.

He tried everything
he could to get here.

It was a driving rainstorm.

Your father's car got
stuck in a mudslide.

He crawled out of the
car and ran to the bridge.

The bridge had been
swept away by a raging river.

He grabbed a vine and
swung across to the other side.

And there was a chemical
plant near that river,

so your father
really risked his life.

He flagged down a truck which
drove him straight to the airport.

Your father made
it, Katie. He made it!

Then how come he isn't here?

Why? Because the
planes were grounded.

And your father yelled,
"I'll fly the plane myself.

"There's only one thing that'll
keep me from my daughter."

The Governor doesn't
know how to fly a plane.

That's the thing.

Oh, come on, Katie.
These things happen.

They always happen.

I'm sorry.

It's just that we were gonna
read him a scene from the play.

I'm here. I'd like to hear it.

It's not the same.

Mmm-hmm, okay.

If you don't want me to hear it,

I can use the time
to rebuild my thumb,

which I smashed,
fixing the sets.

Okay, Benson, we'll do it.

I don't know that we can equal
your performance, but we can try.

I play the wicked witch.

Oh, you must be a great actress.

Und I play the good fairy.

You must be even better.

Well, Snow Fairy,

you thought you could
release the prince from my spell.

But you failed! I'm
much too powerful.

(IMITATES WITCH LAUGHING)

Oh, please, please, Miss Witch,

the prince has done you no harm.

I know beneath that
ugly, misshapen body,

there beats a heart
of pure kindness.

Wrong.

Once the prince finds he'll
spend the rest of his life as a toad,

he'll come crawling to me!

And if he doesn't, he will
disappear and never return again.

(CLAPPING)

Wonderful, wonderful.

Thank you.

Did you really think
I was good? Yes.

Thanks, Benson.

Katie, time for you
to get ready for bed.

Don't forget to
brush your fangs.

Okay.

Benson, now that
the child is gone,

what did you think
of my performance?

Eh!

Look who I'm asking.

You know nothing of
the theatre, the arts.

I come from a theatrical family.

I was born in a trunk.

Pity they opened it.

BOY: Oh, thank you, Snow Fairy.

Okay, Miss Kraus, you
stand here and follow the play.

Just tell me when you need
lights, or snow, or whatever it is.

No, Benson, that is what you do.

I will operate the controls.

Miss Kraus, the guy who
usually does this couldn't make it,

so they asked me.

My father was in the theatre.

I could do this blindfolded.

This is very
complicated machinery.

Nothing is too
complicated for a German.

How about surrender?

Never.

Okay.

All right, we're ready. And...

Birds singing.

Oh, good...

Miss Kraus, I don't hear birds.

Bye, nice working with you.

Miss Kraus, I still
don't hear birds.

Tweet, tweet, tweet.

Okay, okay, okay,
forget the birds.

Here comes the Snow
Fairy. Get ready for the snow.

Yeah, I'm ready.

Now!

(SCREAMS)

I think you better try
it with the blindfold.

I'm sorry. My mistake.

No kidding.

GIRL: Can you help us?

It's all right, kids,
we'll catch up with you.

If it's not too much
trouble, we'd like the snow.

I'm trying. I'm trying.

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

Thank you. Snow.
That's the white stuff.

You didn't happen to see
any snow up there, did you?

Okay, okay, forget the snow.

It's too late. Turn
on the sunrise.

Benson, I'm doing
the best I can.

That's what's so tragic.

Could you turn off the sunrise?

Yeah.

Hello, sunrise.

Benson, what are you doing?
You're ruining everything.

I'm getting a lot
of help from Kraus.

Katie, aren't you
supposed to be out there?

Yes.

Well, what are you doing here?

Oh, just hanging around.

Benson, can I get back?

Okay, Kraus, can
you send Katie back?

Okay, Kraus, don't
send Katie back.

I repeat, do not
send Katie back.

Instead, I want you
to kill the sunrise.

It's sort of a code.

Look, I've got some bad news.

I just got a call from
the White House.

The President regrets
the inconvenience,

but the date's been changed
from the 24th to the 22nd.

But that's the
night of the play.

I know. What are we gonna do?

Oh, I don't know.

But I'll be knocking on the
Governor's door at sunrise.

Sunrise!

MARCY: Benson, I think
there's a tree on my head.

Miss Kraus, could we
have some light, please?

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

KRAUS: There are the
birds. It won't be long now!

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(DOG BARKING)

That's right.

Reserve the same suite
for Governor Gatling,

but instead of the 24th,
make it for the 22nd.

Thanks. Bye.

What are you doing?

I made a reservation just in case
he decides to go to Washington.

But don't worry about
it. He's not going.

Well, of course he's not going.

And a reservation doesn't
mean his mind's made up.

So what does it
hurt to change it,

since he's definitely not
gonna be there on the 24th

and I can always
cancel the 22nd?

It was all Taylor's idea.

Would you run
that past me again?

Forget it. Where is he?

Oh, he should be
here any minute.

Not him, you.

You wanna see me?
You got that right.

Marcy, make an appointment
for Benson to see me.

You can't send him to
Washington on the 22nd.

Of course I can't. I can
only recommend that he go.

I recommend that
he go to Katie's play.

Well, excuse me, Benson, but
it's not your job to recommend.

We're talking about the
responsibilities of a governor.

What about the
responsibilities of a father?

Aren't you
overreacting just a little?

My father missed all
of my school plays.

And look what happened to you.

It is a matter of
priorities, Benson,

and the Governor will just
have to miss the Snow Fairy.

He will? Is that true?

Is what true?

What Taylor said about
Daddy missing the Snow Fairy.

Snow Fairy?

Oh, you thought I
said the Snow Fairy.

No, no. I said the slow ferry.

What?

The slow ferry.

You see, your father has a
speaking engagement across the river,

and we don't
want him to be late.

So it's very important for
him to miss the slow ferry.

Then how is he gonna get there?

On the fast ferry?

Oh, good.

And he's on his way now,

so why don't we get you into
your costume and surprise him?

Good idea. Practice your cackle.

(KATIE IMITATING WITCH LAUGHING)

Taylor, it'll break her heart
if her father misses that play.

I'm very sorry, Benson,

but it is my job to recommend

that he break her
heart and his job to do it.

Hi, fellas. Oh,
Governor, you're back.

Why, am I supposed
to be someplace else?

No, sir, you should be here.

Especially on the 22nd.

Oh, Benson, aren't you
supposed to be doing something?

Right, and I'm about to do it.

He is going to the White House.

He can't. He can.

He shouldn't. He is, and it is not
your place to tell him what to do.

And it's not your place
to tell me my place.

Gentlemen, I'm
completely in the dark.

I know. But let's deal
with one problem at a time.

Sir, I'm not going to tell you

how to raise your daughter.

That's your job, not mine.

But I'm sure you
would want to be aware

of how much she
needs you to be there.

I realize that. But you have to
fulfill your public commitments.

You have a responsibility
to the people.

What about his
responsibility to his daughter?

I don't need to be reminded
of my responsibilities.

I'm fully aware of them.

And I've made up my mind on this

without the benefit of
your opinion or yours.

Taylor, I realize
what's at stake here.

And, Benson, I know
the price I'm paying.

I'm going to Washington.

Where'd that come from?

I don't know. But I wish he'd
give his speeches that way.

Oh, Benson. I see you're up.

I'm up myself.

I see.

Is there anymore of
that cheese? Mmm-hmm.

Oh, where is it?

Tell you the truth,
Benson, I couldn't sleep.

Tell you the truth,
sir, I'm not surprised.

I couldn't sleep either.

Governor, the only reason I
said what I said this afternoon

is because Katie's a part of
this job that I didn't bargain for.

I didn't come here to be a nanny
for an eight-year-old orphan.

But just the same, I can't
help caring about her. Benson...

There's a lot that I don't
mind doing for Katie,

but one thing I can't
do is be her father.

You've made that point.

But the thing
we've got to do now

is just get through
the next four years

the best way we can

and I'll make it up
to her somehow.

Mmm-hmm?

Well, there's some
things you can't make up.

You can't put her
on hold, Governor.

She's not going to stay
eight just 'cause you're busy.

I know that.

You know that and you're
gonna go to Washington anyway?

Yes.

Well, sir, I think you're
making a mistake.

It wouldn't be the
first one, would it?

Benson, I know you're thinking
about Katie, and I appreciate that.

But don't tell me what to do.

I won't take it from Taylor,

and I won't take it from you.

I swore to serve all
the people of this state,

not just my family and friends.

That's why I have to
go to the White House.

We have serious
problems in this state

and so far the federal
government hasn't helped us.

If that's the only point I make,

this trip's worthwhile.

I see your point. But
I'm not sure Katie will.

Well, that's a problem.

What would you
do if you were me?

You just told me not
to tell you what to do.

And I meant it.

But now I'm asking
you to tell me what to do.

Well, if I were you,
sir, I'd talk to her.

Tell her what the problem is.

Hope she'll understand.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Come in.

Good morning, Daddy.
Good morning, honey.

My, you look nice. Thank you.

I wanted to catch you
before you went to school.

I have something to say.

It's about your school play.

You're gonna love it, Daddy.

I am reminded of a
story... Oh, I'm sorry.

About George Washington,

who once had to make a
choice between attending a, uh,

a ceremony decorating
one... one of his generals

and, uh, celebrating
Martha's birthday party.

You see what I'm driving at.

That was President Grant.

Oh, did he have a
wife named Martha?

Julia.

Oh.

Katie, I'm afraid I
have some bad news.

You're not coming
to the play, are you?

Honey, my meeting
with the President

has been moved up to
the same day as your play.

You were depending
on me to be there, I know.

There are a lot of people
depending on me right now.

Sure, Daddy. I understand.

Honey, you know
I'd be there if I could.

I know, Daddy.

It's the president.

I understand.

Do you really?

No.

But I love you anyway.

I love you, too, honey.

GIRL: Leave us
alone. Leave us alone.

KATIE: Of course. Just as
soon as I change the prince

into a lovely little frog.

(BOY IMITATING FROG CRYING)

I forgot my line
about the frog legs.

Well, it was in
bad taste anyway.

From a not too secret admirer.

Daddy.

They're beautiful.

I wish he could have been here.

He does, too, sugar.

Katie, you have a phone call.

Hello?

Speaking.

Oh, hi.

Oh, that's okay.

But it's all right, really.

I guess it went okay.
Everybody clapped.

Okay. It's been nice
talking to you, too.

But it's all right. Honest.

Okay. Thank you. Bye.

Who was that?

The President.

Really?

I'm not sure it really
was the President,

'cause he kept apologizing.

He was sorry he had to
bring Daddy to Washington.

He was sorry Daddy
had to miss the play.

He kept apologizing
for everything.

Then that must have been him.

"And so, Dr. Judy Henderson,

"floating down the dark river,

"the Mato Grosso, on her raft,

"narrowly missing the
crocodiles and the piranhas,

"delivered the serum safely to
the thousands of stricken villagers."

The End.

That's a good book.

(DOOR OPENS)

Hi, Benson.

(WHISPERING) Hello, I
didn't know you were here.

I was just reading
Katie a story.

Oh, I wanted to
finish that one for her.

I just did.

How'd it come out?

Dr. Judith had the serum,

but her raft was...

No, no, wait, wait. I
think the problem was...

That's okay. I'll
ask her tomorrow.

Benson, I just
closed the window.

Katie likes to
sleep with it open.

No, no, no. She likes it closed.

I open it for her every night.

I ought to know her.
She's my daughter.

I ought to know. I put her
to bed when you're not here.

She sleeps with it closed.

She sleeps with it open.

Hey, guys, leave it half open
and let me get some sleep, okay?

NARRATOR: Benson is videotaped

before a studio audience.