Benson (1979–1986): Season 1, Episode 4 - Benson in Love - full transcript

(DOG BARKING)

Been waiting long?

Well, the maid just
came by and dusted me.

Could have been the painter.

I think the Governor's
running a little behind schedule.

Not to mention the
twentieth century.

Governor Gatling may
be a bit unorthodox,

but he's gonna pull
this state back together.

Really?

I mean, he inherited
a lot of problems.

You know the family.



You've got great teeth.

When you smile,
your eyes crunch up,

your nose moves off to the
left, and your ears retreat.

Well, that was very
poetic. Thank you.

Thank you for reminding
me I still have to find a dentist.

Oh, new in town? Yes.

I am, too. You are?

How do you like it here? Full
of foreigners and wild dogs.

(LAUGHS)

It just seems that way,

but there's plenty
to do, places to go.

We'll meet people,
make new friends.

We'll get along
beautifully. I know we will.

I think the Governor must be
involved in some kind of emergency.



Been to Smitty's yet? Smitty's?

Yeah, it's an old
blacksmith's shop.

They turned it
into a restaurant.

It's got hand-carved
beams, stone floors,

one of the best wine
cellars in the state,

and the shrimp are
huge and tender...

Please, please, I
missed lunch, I'm starving.

Well, Smitty's
specialty is rack of lamb.

I could eat a horse.

Fine, we'll go someplace else.

Was that an invitation?

It wasn't a
commercial for Smitty's.

Is that a "yes"?

How's 8:00? Tonight?

The building's old. We'll have to
get there before it's condemned.

I'm sorry to keep
you. I really am.

I had to get off a letter to
the state income tax bureau.

I didn't mind waiting.

Not at all.

I'll only take a minute
of your time, Governor.

(TYPEWRITER CLACKING)

Who is she? Who?

Oh, she was in
yesterday. She's very nice.

Do you know what she had to pay
for an apartment on the West Side?

Marcy, who is she? Senator Wade.

Senator Wade?

Well, if her first name isn't Senator,
I just have embarrassed myself.

Her first name is
Francine. What'd you do?

I asked her for a date.

So what'd she say, "no"?

Well, she didn't say "no,"
she didn't say "yes", either.

That alone should have
told you she was a politician.

But a state senator?

Well, she was just elected.

Maybe she's not
acting like a senator yet.

I told her she had great teeth.

What's wrong with that? Teeth?

She's a state senator
and I'm talking teeth?

You know, I went out
with a senator once.

Had his own airplane.
Cute little thing.

The plane, not the...

I used to think that
an automatic pilot

had something to
do with the gas stove.

Hey, you can't run very
far in a two-seater plane.

Fortunately, he couldn't
get my parachute off.

I want to thank you
for sharing that with me.

Sure thing.

Well, that takes care of it.

Bye. Bye, Governor. Thank you.

That didn't take long, Senator.

Uh, Marcy and I were talking
and she happened to mention that...

That's all right, I was just
in there asking the Governor

the same questions
about you, Benson.

Well, under the circumstances...

Are you trying to
break our date?

Me? I thought you. What
time will I pick you up?

Uh, I have another
meeting. I'll meet you there.

8:00 at Smitty's.
If it's still standing.

I'll get there quick
and prop it up.

Smitty's?

Well, yeah, you know,
the food's not bad.

Right, gotta eat somewhere.
No big deal, huh? Hmm.

The gray suit?

The blue shirt and the
striped tie, smashing.

Uh, Benson, order the omelet.

All you gotta do is swallow.
No one looks good chewing.

(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

Benson?

Benson?

Yoo-hoo, Benson!

(WHISPERING) Darn.

KRAUS: Halt!

What are you doing here?

I live here.

I'm sorry I woke
you, Miss Kraus,

I couldn't sleep and I came
down for some warm milk.

The kitchen is closed.

I thought Benson would be here.

Not that I think he
stays awake all night.

I've seen him during the day.

And yet, whenever I can't sleep

and I'm worried about something,

I come down here to the
kitchen, at some very odd hours,

and Benson has always been here.

How do you account for that?

Bad luck.

Well, I have plenty
to worry about,

so I'll try again
tomorrow night.

Where is Benson?

Out over his head.

That's nice, he should
go out more often.

Good night, Miss Kraus. Wait!

Even though I am off duty,
I will heat your stupid milk.

No, thanks, it wouldn't
be any fun without Benson.

(BENSON WHISTLING)

KRAUS: Uh-uh!

I was just gonna
put it in the cookie jar.

This tummy is not a cookie jar.

You have had enough.

The rest are for your father.

They're really good.

Eat all we bake und you
will get a tummy ache.

That rhymes.

Ja, Liebling, it is my
nature to be lyrical.

To the sink, march.

Five nights in a
row is a bit much.

Ooh, cookies.

Personally, I
couldn't care less,

but the party is very concerned

that Benson will hurt
Senator Wade's career.

Taylor... Do you
know what the papers

can make of her running
around with a butler?

Taylor... Butler
in the same sense

that General Eisenhower
was a soldier, okay? Oh.

You compare Benson to Ike?

Ike was a strategical wizard.

A military genius.

Who knew?

These are delicious. Uh-uh.

Miss Kraus baked
them for my father.

At least they could have
the common decency

to stay out of public places.

Oh, it would be
okay if Senator Wade

snuck around like some
other senators I could mention?

That's different,
they're married!

(EXCLAIMS)

Thank you, Miss
Kraus. Do not touch.

Those are for the Governor,
und, besides, they're hot.

Right.

Benson must... (YELPS)

Something wrong?

I don't drink enough milk.

Everybody needs milk, okay?

Benson must stop
seeing Senator Wade.

Have another cookie, Taylor.

(SCOFFS) I'm wasting my time.

Und so is Benson.

Do you know something I don't?

Ja, an old German proverb.

The wild boar may
romp through the forest

with a beautiful doe,

but that don't make him Bambi.

Heavy!

That ugly little
folktale tells it all.

Benson may be a climber,
but he is out of his class.

Taylor, why don't you
just tell him yourself?

Good morning, Benson.

Tell me what?

Nothing.

Benson, how's your date with
Senator Wade gonna hurt her career?

Katie, where'd you ever hear
a nasty, rotten thing like that?

Whoever said it
must be a real fool.

Benson, personally... Buzz off!

You're angry. Skipped
anger. Went straight to rage.

I've never seen
you angry before.

It's not a pretty sight.

Perhaps I have
overstepped that fine line

between impartial
observer and meddler.

Perhaps you have.

And so I apologize.

I accept it.

KRAUS: (SHOUTING) Do not touch!

Those cookies are
for the Governor!

Still hot? Me or the cookie?

What are you doing?

The cookies are gone?

You ate the Governor's cookies?

His favorites!

Every day he is saying,
"Gretchen, where are my cookies?"

Und now finally I bake
them und you eat them all up?

He is going to think I did not
want to make them for him.

He is going to blame me.

After all my work.

After all the ways
I try to please him,

und no matter how hard
I try, it is never enough.

He is going to be furious.

Smells delicious.
Where are the cookies?

You want cookies,
call Betty Crocker.

You want some more beef?

Is that what that is?

You didn't know
that was roast beef?

I didn't know it was meat.

I didn't hear any
complaints about breakfast.

That's 'cause
breakfast was perfect.

I know.

Coffee?

Keep talking. Where was I?

You were in the
service. Oh, yeah.

After Korea, I got a
job on an assembly line.

I, uh, went to
school on the G.I. Bill

and took hotel
management. Did you like it?

Yeah, the only thing
I couldn't manage

was working all day
and studying all night.

Which one did you give up?
Well, I needed the money.

I had two sisters and
three brothers at home

and I was the oldest.
It was expected.

But you were still a kid yourself.
Wasn't that a lot to carry?

Oh, no, I could carry up
to four and drop only three.

You know what I
meant, the responsibility.

Well, yeah, I felt it,

but whatever I gave up,
I got a lot more in return.

Five college graduates
and they're all doing fine.

I love them already.

They kept you so busy,
you didn't have time

to meet the right woman, right?

Oh, it'll stain the cloth!

This stuff will eat
a hole in the table.

You were telling me about all
the women you didn't have time for.

No, I wasn't, although I
thought about marriage once.

High school history teacher.

My father's a history
teacher. Oh, yeah?

5' 2" and a little silly?

No. Then it's not the same one.

But I came out of that thinking

that "love" was just
another word for "trouble."

And now?

I'm in trouble again.

Governor in? Uh-huh.

With Senator Wade.

They're finished. He's just
starting a paper mill story.

Well, I got a couple of phone
calls to make, anyway. Benson, hi.

Senator?

That was for your
benefit, Marcy.

Thank you.

Marcy?

You coming to dinner tonight?

Depends on who's cooking.

You are.

I'll be there.

Let's talk.

Oh, uh, Marcy,

I think maybe
Benson's looking forward

to one of our man-to-man chats.

I know I am.

Governor, Francine
is really special.

She's a believer.

She believes in
me, you, the system.

She even believes it's possible
to take government away

from the special interests
and give it back to the people.

Did she say how?

But where do I
fit in with all that?

Uh, maybe Taylor's right.
Maybe I would hurt her career.

What do you think, Marcy?

I think when two people find
one another, nothing else matters.

But we're from
two different places.

I've got a high school diploma,

she's got a masters'
degree in political science.

Well, I have two degrees,

uh, business administration
and economics,

and you seem to like me.

It'll never work.

Benson, just don't make
the same mistake I did.

Which one?

When I first met
the late Mrs. Gatling,

I assumed I wasn't
good enough for her.

I was right, of course,
but she never found it out.

Benson, I waited almost
ten years to propose to her.

You're thinking I'm
thinking about proposing?

You have the look to me of a
man who's getting ready to propose.

I've seen it before. I haven't.

Well, I have always
regretted that I didn't

ask for her hand
a little sooner.

Later on, she told me
she would have said "yes."

And she just sat around ten
years waiting for you to propose?

Oh, well, no, not exactly.
She was married at the time.

But separated, and
then her husband died.

Oh, poor fellow, he was in
Africa taking pictures of elephants.

His last shot was a beauty.

But anyhow, so I sent
her a condolence card

and she sent me a thank-you note

and then I called to thank
her for the thank-you note,

and before I knew
it, I'd proposed.

(CHUCKLES) Just a small wedding.

No pictures, of course.

(LAUGHS)

Are you finished?
Oh, yeah, yeah.

That was very touching.

Did you get my point?

Stay away from elephants.

Don't wait ten years to
ask Francine to marry you.

That's the point.

Well, yes, I suppose you
could look at it that way,

but if you dig
beneath the surface,

you may find a deeper meaning.

Then again, maybe not.

Good morning. Morgen.

Marcy, when you were a kid,
did you have to eat oatmeal?

Of course I did,
Katie. It was the pits.

Katie, you are
eating it too fast.

It's bad enough
I have to eat it.

Do I have to taste it too?

Where's Benson?

Making a goodwill
tour of the mansion.

Smiling at anything that moves.

Smiling? He asked her.

Benson popped the question?

I think so. Oh!

This is like a fairy
tale come true.

Wait until the princess finds
out the frog is really a frog.

Good morning.
BOTH: Good morning.

Want me to ask him?

I think this
requires a little tact.

(WHISPERING) I'll do it.

Ahem.

How was last night? Dark.

Was it in any way, uh, special?

Oh, I mean eventful.

Memorable?

Forget it.

Benson, did you ask
Senator Wade to marry you?

Yes, I did, Katie.

Oh, I'm so happy for you.

Und so sad for her.

Will Senator Wade be
moving into your room?

Well, she hasn't said "yes" yet.

I didn't give her a chance
to. I want her to think about it.

Miss Kraus, could I have
my breakfast, please?

Marcy, you have
a call at your desk.

Katie, you're late for school.

Did you ask her?

She's thinking about it.

I hope you aren't
rushing into anything.

(ROMANTIC MUSIC
PLAYING ON STEREO)

(MUSIC STOPS PLAYING)

Benson? Hmm?

The music stopped.

But the feeling hasn't.

Let's talk. Oh, sure.

You made up your mind? Yeah.

What did you decide?

I'm sorry, Benson.

Yeah, well...

You do what you have
to do. I understand.

Do you, really?

The calluses are
here, not here, Senator.

Oh, here we go again!

The working man
and the lady Senator.

Let me explain
something to you, Benson.

I'm no token black
who came in on a quota.

I'm not interested
in playing the game

so I can have a long
and ineffectual career.

I'll make it on what I do, not
on what my husband does.

I love you, but marriage
is not in my plans now.

I'm sorry.

Well, I am too.

We could've had a few laughs.

Benson, I don't
want to lose you.

Can't we keep it the way it is?

The way it is gets kind
of empty after a while.

You see Francine, marriage is
more than a piece of paper to me.

It's two people swearing to God

that they'll take
care of one another

and doing just
that, no matter what.

Give me time.

You know where I live.

Benson, please
don't say goodbye.

Good night, Senator.

There you go, good as new.

It came broken. Better than new.

Back to new.

Why don't we take them back
to the store and get another pair?

Why didn't we think
of that an hour ago?

Benson? Huh?

What's a broken heart?

Ah, there's no
such thing, Katie.

That's just a way of describing
one of life's little disappointments

that comes close to killing you.

Is your heart still broken?

Yeah, a little.

Do you think I'll break
someone's heart when I grow up?

Yeah, every woman is
entitled to at least one.

Good.

I wish you weren't so old.

Because if you weren't,
I'd ask you to wait for me.

What, so you could
break my heart?

So you could take me to Smitty's
for shrimp and chocolate cake.

Is that what you
think love is about?

No, but it seems
like the best part.

NARRATOR: Benson is videotaped

before a studio audience.