Below Deck Mediterranean (2016–…): Season 5, Episode 14 - Whole New Ballgame - full transcript

- Previously on
"Below Deck Med"...

You gonna come with me?

- Mm.
- You look beautiful.

I booked the same flight
that you have.

- You promise?
- I promise, promise.

- This is a returning client,
Johnny and Michelle Damon.

The last charter,
he complained about the food.

- Us Americans are used
to the big portions.

- Our next charter
will be in Ibiza.

- Oh, my God.

- What?
- Amazing.



- I'm releasing Hannah.

You're okay to be
chief stew, right?

And then we're gonna get you
someone for our next charter.

- Okay.

- Beautiful day, beautiful
new chief stew.

- I miss Hannah.

I'm doing two people's jobs.

So I think I'm deserving of
the second stew position.

- I have a second stew for you.

- Hi!

- Hi!
- Good morning!

So nice to see you.

- So happy you could come.

- Hi!



- Hi!

- I'm back!

Hi, Captain!

- Hi, Captain!

Who the hell is this?

- Hi!
- Good morning!

Hello. - So good to see you.

- So nice to see you.

- I'm so happy you
could join us, come on in.

- Is this the crew?
- Yes.

- Hello!
- Malia...

- Hi!
- Hi.

- ...is our bosun.

- Malia, oh, so nice
to meet you.

- Yeah, nice to meet you.

- This is Rob.
- Hello, Aesha.

- How you doing?
- Very nice to meet you.

- I'll introduce you to
the rest of the team.

- Coming back to work with Sandy
again, and it's so nice.

And I hope that we've got
a good interior team,

because I really want
to get the praise

from Captain Sandy this season.

These were for wash, and
these were all for steaming.

- Ah.

- Do it so that it's,
like, more of a point.

- Mor-ta-della.

- Mortadella. Braciola!

- Aesha, you did a fabulous job.

- Captain.

- That's cool,
our new stew seems nice.

- This is our Michelin
star chef, Tom.

- Hi! Oh, yay!

- Nice to meet you. I'm Tom.
- So nice to meet you.

- Likewise.

- This is our third stew.

- What's your name?
- Aesha.

- Aesha? Jessica.
- Yeah.

Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

- Ah, Bugsy.
- Hi!

- Hi!
- This is Aesha.

- How are you?
- Nice to meet you.

- So, she's your chief stew.

- Ah... oh, yeah.
- Yeah.

- Hello!
- Nice to meet you.

- Thanks for coming in.
- Okay, great, awesome.

- I'm excited to have you.
- We're gonna leave here.

- Oh, yeah.

- Now that you're on board,
we're taking off.

- Oh, okay, cool.

- I'm gonna take you to a cabin.
I've got clothes for you.

- I'm finding it very awkward,
because Hannah texted me

and she told me that
she's not working anymore,

but no one's really wanting to
tell me what's actually gone on.

- Okay, the dock guy's here.
Are we clear to release lines?

- Go ahead and start dropping.

- Pull, pull, pull.

Okay, that's all
three lines released.

- So you're top bunk.
- On the... at the top?

Yeah? - Yeah.

- Yay!

- Clear to swing,
clear to swing.

- Well done, Malia.
Well done, everyone.

We're going to Ibiza.
The crossing looks great.

- Going to Ibiza, oh, my God.
- Ibiza, baby!

- I never thought I'd go
to Ibiza with Captain Sandy.

Sh... How sad am I?

- Seven in the morning
means smooth sailing.

Couldn't ask for
a better time to go.

- How long is this passage?
- I believe it's four hours.

- Rob, can you guys focus
on fenders, please?

- Sh...

- So, dining room in here.

- Yeah... it's... ing nice, eh?
- It's nice, right?

Oh, I love your attitude,
it's fabulous.

Out here, our bridge deck aft.
- Wow.

- This is the sun deck.
- So where are we going now?

- We're going to Ibiza.
- Are we?

- Yeah.
- Oh, yes.

- Did you not know?
- No!

- It's, like, oh, I'm jumping
on a boat, and let's go.

- I'm very excited
to go back to Ibiza.

I actually was there,
like, a month ago,

with my brother and
sister-in-law.

Ibiza is definitely known as
the party capital of the Med.

It's got some of
the best clubs in the world.

I'm so excited, I love Spain.

- I heard you've been
with these guests before,

Johnny Damon's group of friends.

- Oh, the Damons!
- Yes.

- Yes!
- Yeah?

- I love them.

- Are they nice?

- They're, like,
super down-to-Earth.

Yeah, Michelle, the wife,
she's so fun.

- Is she?
- Yeah.

- Slap it! Slap it!

Listen, I'm the person
that's in charge.

Wah-wah, wah-wah-wah...

- May... may... may I...
- Not happening.

- May I...

- Don't... ing...
- You're done.

- I... ing rule this boat.

- They're not like snobby
rich people at all.

- Amazing, see you
in a little while.

- So nice having people
you've had before.

- I can't believe you've had
them before, that's crazy.

- I think you were actually
in my dreams to be honest.

- You all right this morning?

- Yeah, why?

- Like, as soon as
we come out, always,

our main priority is fenders.
- I know, but I... yeah.

I could die happy
not going to Ibiza.

It just feels like
a trigger, in a way.

When I was younger, like,
in my days of... ing

just being crazy, I knew
that if I were to go there,

I wouldn't come back.

So I was in my head about it,
just overthinking.

Fine.

- So what's been going
on this season?

- Oh, what hasn't been going on?

- Why am I here?
- What hasn't been going on?

The first second stew left.

- Mm-hmm.
- Then I came to help out.

- Yeah.
- And then the chef left.

- Mm?

- And then it was, like,
just coincidence that Tom,

who's dating Malia... - Yeah.

- ...was visiting her.

Hannah left in the same sort
of period that Tom joined.

- Mm-hmm.
- She was here, and she left.

And then yeah,
we ran the last charter

with just two of us, Jess and I.
- Oh, sorry!

Because Hannah and
I are so close,

I know that her and Bugs have
had a little bit of history.

But I wanna just meet
her for myself,

and make my own
first impressions.

And so far, she's treated me
with absolute kindness,

so I don't really have any
reason to be a bitch to her.

Well, hopefully I can
bring a new energy in.

- Definitely.
- Yeah.

- That's what we need.

- So I got these for the lunch,
like ref whistles.

- Do they usually use
whistles in baseball?

- I don't know.

- Johnny, being a baseball
player, makes me a bit nervous.

I don't know anything
about American baseball.

It's like a fast-paced cricket,
from what I can gather.

- Where did you come
from this morning?

- Bali, yeah.

- These two are going.
- Oh, no...

Are you guys romantically
intertwined?

- We are indeed, yes.

- Aw! That's so cute!

- You look lovely.

You're the first guy in, like,

years that's actually made me
wanna have a boyfriend.

- And we haven't even had sex.
Isn't that weird?

- So that's how you know
that I really like you!

Are you guys sharing a cabin?

- Yeah.
- Oh, nice.

Snuggles.

I got your back.

- Aesha and Jess,
if you girls would meet me

in the dining room, please.

- Mm... did you make this?

- Yeah, not just chopping
carrots in here.

- 'Sup, girl?
- Okay.

So, I'm so excited to have you.

- It's so cool to be here.

- Got a ton of experience,
very helpful to have.

Jess has gone through, how many?

This is your third second stew,
including when I was.

- Oh, yeah, of course.

- I think Aesha fits
in really great.

But at the same time,
why the wasn't

I moved to second stew?

- Jess, in terms
of this charter,

you are gonna be predominately
in the laundry.

- Okay.
- Okay?

- Nobody's job is less important
than the next.

- Yeah.

- So show Sandy how
well it can be done.

I'll be up in the morning
with you, Jess.

Get creative with
your table settings...

you are a very creative person.

I want the best compliment in
the tip meeting to come to you.

- Yeah.

- I feel like we're
a really good team...

- I think it'll be... yeah.

- ...of different
strengths, yeah.

- Teamwork, guys.
Cheesy, but let's do it.

- Yeah.
- Team, yeah.

- All crew on deck.

- Beautiful.

- One of you on port,
one of you on starboard.

These guys will be on the stern.

- Aesha, you're gonna be by Rob.

Jess, you're gonna go amidships.

- Your lines are ready.

- Malia, Malia,
I'm on the port wing.

- Clear to start bringing
port stern over.

- Ooh, jeez, it is tight.

- Ten more feet to port,
and our stern is lined up.

This is a very tight spot
to get this boat into.

Twenty-five feet
to the vessel aside.

And we have quite the audience.

Fifteen feet to
the vessel astern.

Starboard quarter
10 feet and closing.

- Terrible.

I feel like I need
a rearview mirror.

- Starboard quarter,
eight feet and closing.

Bump to stern.

Bump to port, bump to port.

- This... ing thing...

- Fifty feet astern.

Straight astern.

Starboard quarter,
four feet and closing.

Bump to port.

Bump to port.

- That's center.

- Holy.

- Bump to port.

- Coming up...

- Look, there's a jellyfish!
- It's right there.

- Oh, my God!

- Babe, your balls are
about to get lit up.

- Oh, no, watch out!
- Ah, hurry!

- Jeez, it is tight.

- Starboard quarter,
four feet and closing.

Bump to port.

Bump to port, bump to port.

Three feet, three feet
to vessel aside.

- Holy sh...

- Perfect, opening up off
the starboard quarter.

Perfect to go astern.

Rob, I need you on lines.

Thirty feet to the dock astern.

All right, guys, we need to be
quick on these lines, please.

- Yeah.

- Keep tension on that line.

Stern's secure.

- Well done, everyone.
Nice work, nice work.

- Well done, guys.

- Tight squeeze,
but we made it through.

That was good.

-, Captain Sandy's like...

she's such a boss bitch.

- Nice work.
- Thank you.

That was amazing.

- Yeah, you did a good job.

- All right,
we're all set on deck.

Let's go get cleaned up
and put our epaulettes on.

- Killed it.

- Is that the tightest
spot you've got in?

- Hi!

- I missed you.

- Always, baby.

- Lay one on me.
- Love you.

- Hey, gimme another hug.
- Hi!

- Yeah, are you happy?
- Yes!

I've got a good
feeling about this team.

- Are you ready, honey?

- Yeah, I'm just taking,
like, the whole carcass out,

and then re-forming it
so it looks like a bird.

Pretty much everything done
for the arrival stuff.

- Five minutes on the dock.

- Oh, incoming.

- I'm so excited.

- Oh, my gosh, awesome hair.

- Yeah.
- That's awesome hair.

- Hi! Welcome back!

- Great to be back!

- Thank you! Super excited.
- Yes, hey.

- Great seeing you.
- Hi. You, too.

- How are you?

- Alex.
- Hey, Alex, how are you?

- I'm feeling great,
nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you, man.

- Johnny Damon's
coming on board.

The... ing man from Boston,
our lead-off guy.

He was Boston's hero for a bit.

I mean, we... ing
hated him once he went

to the Yankees and
...ing got a haircut.

But yeah, no, he's...

he still has a place
in my heart in Boston.

- Oh, my gosh, I'm so happy
you came back

so we can make it right for you.

- Yes.

- Especially in
the food department.

- Looking forward to it.
- Yes.

- Anyway, welcome aboard,
and Bugsy, our chief stew,

is gonna show you
around the boat,

and then we're gonna take
off to your anchorage.

- Gorgeous.
- Yay!

- Oh, my God,
this is so fabulous.

- I would love to do
a tour with you.

Follow me. The main salon.

- Wow. Is this where
we're gonna be wrestling?

- No.
- Yeah!

- I got her, I got her!

- I think it's better if
you guys take your shirts off.

- Wow, this is the sun deck.

- And we've got
a hot tub up front.

- Yeah, all right.

- This is a serious.
- This is how we roll, right?

- Absolutely.
That's what I'm talking about.

- Is there another boat?

- That is all luggage on board.

- You might need
to hold off on Adena's glass.

- Yes, okay.

- Wow, there's a lot of steps.

- So this is the master cabin.
- Let's test it out.

- You all may have to leave.

- Coming out of here,
like always,

fenders are a main priority.

And then when we get
to Formentera to anchor,

it's all hands on deck
for water sports.

- Ow!
- Ooh sh..., sorry, baby.

- All crew on fenders.

- We need all crew,
all crew out on deck.

- I need one person
here with me.

Jess can go that side.

- Okay, Captain Sandy,
standing by on stern lines,

ready to release.

- Yeah, go ahead and
release them, thank you.

- Quickly, quickly.

That's all stern lines released.

- Oh, my God.

- Port quarter, three feet.

Three feet to vessel aside.

Port midships, holding 12 feet.

Alex, put that fender down.

Put that fender further down.

- Yeah, that's as far
as it goes down.

- Stern to starboard,
stern to starboard!

Put the fender down lower,
on the rub rail.

There we go.

Touching fender,
starboard midships.

Slight bump to starboard
off your stern.

Opening up off
starboard quarter.

Clear to swing, clear to swing.

- Okay. Are we just doing faces?

- Yeah.

- Nice job, well done.

- Hey! We're in Ibiza.

We're on the biggest
yacht in Ibiza.

- Wasted.

- It took me a while to
figure out that Adena

wasn't with Johnny and
Michelle last time.

She was with the
queen of Versailles.

This is something that only,
like, a billionaire could do.

We... we are billionaires.

- That's right!
- Adena's awesome.

She just, like, can't
handle alcohol very well.

- Hello, hello.
- Hi there!

- We're on the biggest
...ing yacht.

- And the strawberries
are pretty.

- Ah!

- Oh, my gosh!

- That is not...
- Oh, my God.

- Yeah, gimme that,
gimme that, gimme that.

- Are you bleeding?
- What?

- I'm scared,
there's a lot of blood.

- Ah!

- Oh, my gosh.

- That is not...

- Yeah, gimme that,
gimme that, gimme that.

- What?
- Watch out, watch out.

- Don't let the... don't...

- I gotta crawl.

- Malia, Malia, Bugs.
- Oh, Lord.

- We just had a champagne
glass smash on the bridge deck.

- Is that blood on there?
Are you bleeding?

- You are bleeding!
- Where?

- Doctor!

- Are you able to come with
the first-aid kit?

She's just cut herself.

- How'd they get cut?
- She smashed a glass.

- I'm scared...
there's a lot of blood.

- Oh, no!

- Hi, guys. Medical attention.

- We got the medic.

- Is it gonna hurt?

- Adena, I don't think you
can feel anything right now.

- Ah! Ow, ow, ow!

- Just cleaning it up.
- That really hurt.

- Like, as soon as the lines
are off the dock,

this lady's falling-over drunk,
cutting herself.

- Thank you, love.

- This is Ibiza.
You're not gonna last.

Okay. All right. - You got it?

- Thanks, guys.
- Oh, my God, we are good.

- You're really good.

- Where can I get some
service forks?

- Certainly, with the
white borders?

- Yeah.

- If you look under there,
there's a little basket

with white glove service casts.

Aesha's ticking off
all the boxes that,

like, a really good stewardess
should be ticking off.

I don't wanna jinx anything, but
things just seem to be working.

- So what's your, like...

are you wanting to get up
to chief one day, or...

- Uh, no.

- What's your plan?
Just cruising?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Chief's too much pressure.
- Yeah, I know.

That's why I like being second.

- I know, I agree.

- What is a baseball pitch
look like?

Is it called a field or a pitch?

- A pitch... pitch?

- It is?
- Yeah.

- All right.

- What is going on?

- The table decorations
are perfect.

- All right, deck crew,
deck crew,

we are 10 minutes out,
10 minutes out.

- Is that plastic?
- You're... you're...

- By the pool or on a boat...

- No, those are glass.
Do you want a plastic one?

- Well, you never should...
- Just for her.

- ...give Adena...
- For me.

- She's broken...
- Just for me!

- Do you have a helmet
and kneepads?

- She's broken a number
of them at our house.

- Our wedding...
- Our wedding wineglasses...

- Our wedding... yeah.
- ...Adena broke two of them.

- Oh, you naughty girl!

- Fancy!

So are you usually a...

you're usually a chef on yachts?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- Drop the anchor, one shackle,
one shackle, drop the anchor.

- Are you good there, Captain?
- Yeah, we're good.

- Good?
- That's good.

- Thank you.
- Yeah, nicely done.

- Their last charter,
he actually

complained about the food.

His food was always cold.

- I'm like, blown away.

- Malia, permission to start
blowing up the slide.

- Let's toss her over.

- So we went with
a baseball theme...

no idea why. - Yeah!

- Play ball?

- Oh, check this out.
- Whoa!

- Does glass count as
recycling in Spain, or...

- Yeah.

- I love it when people
recycle, it's so good.

- All right, these four can go.
- Okay, perfect.

- So I have a marinated burrata.
- Ooh, yeah.

- A salad niçois, penne
pasta with basil pesto.

- This can go as well, I think.
- Okay.

- This is the roast
baby chicken,

and this is the grilled
local spiny lobster tail

with garlic butter.

- Oh, my goodness,
this food looks...

- The menu's so amazing,
it's, like, dinner.

- I know, this is dinner.

- This is so good.
- I love it.

- Is that, like,
a whole baby chicken?

- It's a whole baby chicken,
deboned.

- That's what she said.

- I have to say, the food is so
much better so far this time.

Can I please get this heated
up just a little bit more?

I'm more, like, medium.

Is this eggplant? - Yes.

- Oh, boy.

- Don't feel guilty that
our food was sh... ty.

- Fabulous.

Hell.

- Can I have a slice
of that focaccia?

- Yeah, help yourself.
- Thanks.

Mm!

- So amazing, they're delish!

I love people who recycle!

I love it.

She's great.

Ow, God dang it!

- Hi.
- Are you supposed to be...

- An umpire.

- Did you look at me when
you said you're an umpire,

because I usually strike out?

You like that? - I like it.

- Are you done?
- Oh, yes, thank you.

- This is definitely
the best food we've had

since we've been to Spain.

- I think they're all good.

I think they're getting
quite full.

- Okay.
- They absolutely loved it.

- All right, dessert,
let's do it.

- Aw, that's so coo!

- No, you should not
have a whistle.

- I know, right?

- Yeah, I mean, we need
to de-whistle you.

- I will try and keep them
super balanced.

- Oh, no, please don't
let me drop these.

- Ooh, they're baseballs!

- Ooh!
- Ooh, look at this!

- So, frozen white chocolate
and ricotta parfait.

- Wow.
- Please let the chef know...

- Thank you so much.
- ...this is amazing.

- All right, let's take a
photo with your ball.

- Ooh!
- It's lovely.

- I love it.
- It's good.

- They loved it!
- Yeah? Cool.

- Yeah, so exciting.

- You guys ready
for some water sports?

- Yeah!

- I just wanted to let everyone
know there are

quite a bit of jellyfish
in the water.

- The slide is there, so we
kinda have to go down the slide.

- Hell, no. Nope.
- Yes.

- You wanna go down the slide
in the jellyfish?

- If you wanna go down
the slide,

I'll put one of us crew in the
water to look out for jellyfish,

and go down and
we'll kinda walk you through

getting back to the boat.

- That's so terrible.

- I'll protect you guys
on the slide.

- So that means you have
to be, like...

- Yeah, I'll take...
I'll take a sacrifice.

- No, no, no.

- Hm?
- You're cute.

- What's wrong? Hm?

Okay. Good talk. I have to go.

- Yeah.

- I gotta get this on video.
- Okay.

- At least we have one
real man on this boat.

- I'm checking out
the jellyfish.

We all good?

- Look, there's a jellyfish!

- It's right there.
- Oh, my God.

- Watch out!
- Dead ahead, dead ahead.

- Ah!
- Oh, my God, he's right there.

- Jellyfish!
- He's swimming right for it.

- It's so big!

- Babe, your balls are
about to get lit up.

- Oh... oh, no, watch out!
- Ah!

- Hurry!

- Coming up...

- Opa!

- Okay, just take the...

- Look, there's a jellyfish!
- It's right there.

- Oh, my God!
- He's swimming right for it!

- Where?

- Babe, your balls are about
to get lit up.

- Go this way, keep paddling.

- Nice... a safe landing.

- All right, who else is going?

- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah!

- Perfect.

- Oh, so close!

- Woo!

- I'm gonna send you on
break now, you good to go?

- Yes. Get another nap in.

- All good on laundry?

- I just need to steam
the stuff now.

- Let's get this
to a good place.

Cabins are in a good place.

- I didn't want to admit it,
but my job has been easier...

since Bugs took over.

She has, like, clear direction,

and things are starting
to be more fluid.

- Are we getting in
the hot tub up there?

- Babe, we're going up to the
top to get sun and hot tub.

- Rosé all day,
and your blood orange.

- Thanks.
- Oh my goodness.

- Good morning!

- Where are we?

- Am I meant to have
the stripes on?

- Yeah, you can have that on,

and then we're gonna throw
a tutu over it.

- Yes!
- Yes, yeah.

- I'm so excited.

- What happened? I just woke up.

It was the best sleep
I've ever had.

- All righty. Oh, this is cute!

You're like
the weird Brady Bunch.

- Oh, I love it!

- Gimme a theme, I'm gonna go...
run with it.

- Okay, you're having
the pink one.

- Oh, yes.

- I look like Halloween

- Like a pumpkin.
- Yeah. Is there another color?

- There's pink, blue,
and orange.

Do you wanna swap my blue one?
- No.

- The theme for this evening
is a funky neon party,

and what better way than
to have people

who are serving you be
funky and neon, too?

Theme is a dream.

This is stews in tutus.

I mean, what could be better?

- Yeah, I can think of, like, 50
things off the top of my head.

- What's up?

- Yeah, you tired?

- No, I'm just checked
out a little bit.

- Do you need sleep?

- No. I'm rested.

I just... I'm in my head.

- Oh.

Never seen anyone
not even fake it

in front of the captain.

It's, like, what? Who does that?

- Ooh, there we go.

- It's hot.
- Yeah, the AC's off, isn't it?

That's gonna keep everything
warm, the food and everything.

- You'll have us to help
run food quickly.

- Yeah.

- Except Rob's,
like, checked out.

- What's wrong with Rob?

- He just told me and Captain
Sandy he's, like, checked out.

And I'm, like...

- Especially to the captain.

- ...you just told your boss
and your captain that...

- Yeah, you don't say that.
- ...you're checked out of work.

- I'm honestly worried
for him to be on tonight.

- Oh yeah?

You're beautiful.
Let's get some food!

- Oh, gorgeous!
- You look so cute!

- Yes, don't leave me out.

- Okay, we've got
some green for you.

- Oh, perfect.
- Like war paint.

- Oh, yeah!
- You need to give a growl.

- Rawr.

- It's so festive!
- Oh!

- Wow.
- This is gorg.

- So beautiful.
- Yay!

- The table looks awesome.

- Yes, it looks so beautiful.

- Cheers to everybody, woo!

- Look at you, double-fisting!

- Woo!
- Woo!

- Double-fisting, we love it!

- Hell, yeah!
- Yeah, nice!

- Now that's what
I'm talking about.

- Okay, Malia, Malia.
- Yeah.

- Would you mind doing
some plating again?

- Yes. Just put these on top?
- Yeah.

- Who's getting
pregnant tonight?

- Hey!

- You have to work quick,

because I can feel the
breeze coming through here.

Okay, once you put the pea
shoots on they're ready to go.

- Corner.

- There you go.
- Thank you.

- Okay, we have a roast
pork belly, diver scallops,

with a potato puree
and a garlic sauce.

Enjoy your meal. - Thank you.

- Thank you.

- I just wanna know what
Johnny thinks.

Let's see what Johnny thinks.

- Is it hot, babe?
- It's more...

it's not super hot,
it's more warm.

- I think it's lovely.
- It's gonna be hot next time.

- That means
it's perfect temperature.

- These are really good.
- I think it's lovely.

- No, it's okay.
No, I want it to be hot.

- It's not supposed to be
hotter than this, right?

- No, it's fantastic.

- But you just said
it wasn't hot.

- It was warm, it wasn't hot.

So we gotta figure out
how to make his food hot.

- Oh... ing hell.

- Guys...
- It feels hot.

- It feels very hot, I love it.

- Could we do this...
a bowl over his?

No one else is... - Over his?

- Just his.
- Okay. Okay.

- Mm, this is hot.

- Can we lay the bowls out?
Watch that plate.

- Sh..., that's hot.

- How was that?
- Great.

- Jess and Rob, Jess and Rob,
to the galley.

- Coming.
- Copy.

- Cover that primary plate.
- Are they all ready to go?

- Yeah.
- Ah!

- It's chaotic.

- Coming in very hot.

- Thanks, Malia.

- Thank you.
- These will be scalding.

- If it comes back warm
but not hot,

I'm gonna lose my sh...

- Thank you.

- Oh jeez, sh...

- Opa!

I'm sorry.

- That's okay, just take the...

- Oh sh...

- Coming up...

- Ah!

- It's not a... ing Spanx.

Clearly, I don't
need a Spanx, duh.

- All I'm saying is shut up,

because your voice is
...ing annoying.

- Thanks, Malia.

- These are scalding.

- Sh...

- Opa!

- Oh sh...

- Tom...
- Yeah.

- ...Bugs dropped a plate.

- Ugh, it's chaotic.

- I'm not gonna stress
out, because it's...

the whole thing is just crazy.

- Thank you.

- 's sake.

- Yeah.
- That's epic.

- Adorable.
- Here we go.

So we have pan-fried cod,
with a clam chowder

with steamed Iberico ham
and parsley.

Is everybody happy?

- It's delicious.
- It's amazing.

- Very good.

- Is it hot?
- It's hot, yes.

- Yes?

- This is actually
really fabulous.

- Everything's good,
the primary's eating,

he's loving it.
- Good recovery, Tom.

- Yeah.
- And he said it was hot.

- Yeah, that's cool.

- Hey, girl,
so you're down at 10:30.

- Okay.
- Who's having the Jameson?

- There's five Fireballs
and three Jameson shots.

- Sorry to have stressed
you out earlier.

- No, I just wanna make
sure everything's okay.

- I just got sensitive for no
reason earlier about something.

It's done, you know?

- I get you.

- Well, you got
your cigar going.

- He is...
- Yes, I do.

- ...so freaking happy,
he loves cigars.

- Oh, yeah, it's a... ing
Spanx, bitch.

It's called a thong. - Ah.

I can see it from the reverse.

- It's not a... ing Spanx.

Clearly, I... clearly,
I don't need a Spanx, duh.

Don't need one. Annoying.

- Oh, really?

- What is your problem?

- Shut up, because your voice
is... ing annoying.

- That's fantastic.

Thank you so much.

- Hey, babe.
- Yeah.

- What's going on?

- Um, I just called Shanna out,

and now she's
having a hissy fit.

- Oh, my God.

- Well, because she was saying
you were wearing Spanx?

- She needs to learn
not to act like that,

and it's disrespectful.

What the is going on?

I mean, you made a total
...ing comment.

It's not a compliment
to say that a girl's

wearing... ing Spanx
in front of her.

It means your... ing fat,
and you're covering your fat up.

What the are Spanx?
I'm just saying.

- Teamwork, dreamwork.
- Yeah.

-...Ing sure deal.

- Scotch on the rocks.

- We need to chat.

I'm sorry.
It was an asshole comment.

- I'm just gonna grab the rest
of the stuff on the sun deck.

- I love you.
- I love you, too.

- Good night.
- Love you.

- Night.
- All right, night-night.

- Nighty-night, y'all.

- The guests are nice.
- They are nice, yeah.

- Aw.

- All right, well, I'll be down.

Let me know if
you need anything.

- Thanks, you rock.

- Bugs, you're killing it
as well, you know?

- Thank you.
- No problem.

- I'm trusting him,
but there's starting to be

a lot of red flags as
to why maybe I shouldn't.

- We're gonna get underway soon,
just so you know.

- Okay, cool.

- Jess, I'm gonna go look at
your table setting, my love.

Wow, cool.

- Man in the hatch.

- Start hauling the anchor.

- Coming up on starboard anchor.

- You see, Jess,
you have it in you.

- Aw.
- It's really pretty.

- Anchor's home, anchor's home.

- All crew, all crew,
ETA is one hour and 30 minutes.

- Good morning, hi.

It's Bugs, calling from
motor yacht Wellington.

I just would like to confirm our
VIP table for today

at 3:00 p.m. for our guests.

- I actually didn't
drink much last night.

- Yeah, I know.

- Okay, so we're doing
truffle eggs Benedict.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

- Drop the anchor,
drop the anchor.

- Go for it.

There you go.

- Okay, great, lock it down.

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

- How are you?
- Hi.

- Did you sleep well?
- Good, thank you.

Oh, I had such a good sleep.

- They're going to
an end-of-season party,

so the tender has to be
ready to go by 2:00.

- Round two of 10.

- You can really taste
them, too.

- Hey, you should
literally be like,

"What if I'd never told you?
You would never know."

That's how I'd be dealing
with my own sh...

- She doesn't...
It's irritating.

- Yeah, no sh... it's... ing
irritating.

I'd be... ing pissed off.

It's like, be a grown-ass woman
and just... ing and... and...

and don't... ing gimme
sh... about this stuff.

- I have no control over
somebody texting me.

There's nothing
I can do about it.

It's my choice whether
I wanna reply or not,

and I think it's unnecessary
to make me feel

like I'm doing something wrong.

- Yeah, I know..

- So it's kind of making me
take a step back

and have a look at
if I'm ready to go

and spend this time
in Bali with her.

I'm just tired, bru.

- How's the truffle eggs?
- Amazing.

- Hi, how are you?
- Good, how are you?

- Fantastic.

- I know, I don't
see you guys often.

- I know.

- Alex?
- Yes?

- Where do you guys put these?
- Towel?

Don't let sh... bother you,
seriously.

You know what
I'm talking about, though.

Just seeing both
sides of it, I get both.

But it's his situation
to kind of deal with.

- No, it's not.
It's invading both of our space.

- Yeah, but you have to
understand it's more on him.

That it's not...
than it would be on you.

- It's not like a measurement...
- No, but seriously.

- ...of, like...
- I know it's not a measurement,

but you have to be
more understanding.

You guys have a chat about it.
- Yeah, I get it. Great.

This is your negative sh...
I'm having to deal with.

Block the bitch, get rid of her.

Bullsh...

- Coming up...

- My heart's palpitating bad.

- Are we doing makeup?

Are you putting on our
makeup again today?

- Would you like some makeup?

- I don't know.

- You need some flair, right?
Coming in hot.

I'll have the station
ready to go, perfect.

- So I have some
good news for you.

- Yes, I want a surprise!

- I'm sending you ashore to
beach closing party today

with the guests. - Yeah!

The closing party!
- The closing party.

- So it's gonna be insane.

- That doesn't mean
you get to drink.

- Yeah, but I get
to be there, thank you.

- So it's gonna be lots of fun.

- What time did you
go down on break?

2:35. How do you feel?

- I felt like you got defensive,

and all I did was
ask a few questions.

And I was...

- Right.

- And I think so to.

But at the same time,
I can't pretend to act like

I'm fine and it's normal.

- That up, but can't let go?

- She's in trouble.

Every now and then, demon
Jess can submerge, you know,

if she's pushed.

My ex-boyfriend,
we got into a fight,

and I kind of destroyed
his new house.

Hopefully, we will never
know what will really happen

if demon Jess
makes an appearance.

Hopefully her as a subject
stays in the past.

What time is it?

- It's time to get a watch.

- Stop with the sass.

- Cheffy.
- Hey, oh.

- When the guests
get off today...

- Mm?

- ...we're gonna leave the water
toys out for a little bit,

if you wanna get in.

- All right.

- How you doing?

Why are you rubbing your tummy?
Are you full?

- No, I don't know.
I don't... it hurts.

- You need a poo.

- Come on, Adena.

- I just want some gold dots,
like last time.

- All right, I'll do it.
- Time to go play.

- Don't talk and distract me.

- Do a blue lip.

- Oh, my God.

- Is she making me
look ridiculous?

- It's like an arrow
to his nose.

- It's supposed to be
a marijuana plant.

- Oh, yeah, I see that.

- Yeah, that looks...
that looks great.

- Listen up!
- Are you serious?

- That's coming on
the boat with you.

- See you later, guys. Have fun!

- Bye, guys!

- Oh, yeah.
- Enjoy.

- Thank you!

- Bye, guys!
- Bye, thank you!

- Bye!
- Bye!

- Let's have fun!
- Yeah.

- This is so exciting.

- Ladies and gentlemen!
- Yay!

Let the festivities commence!

- Oh, my God!

A closing party in Ibiza is
like a real-life acid trip.

It's like you're at some weird,
drunken circus in a dream.

It's amazing.

- Hey, Malia?
- Go for Malia.

- Hey, you guys...
play on the toys.

Go have some fun.

- All crew, all crew, the
slide is open for business.

- Are you going down the slide?

- Have you been
to Spain before this?

I think it's literally so
...ing beautiful.

Hey, I'll be honest...

honestly, the last,
like, two nights...

- Hey!

- Don't get hurt, no one else
knows how to cook food.

- Step on it, Jess.

- Stop!

- Gas! Give it gas!

- What happened?

- My heart's palpitating bad.

- No, I'm serious.

- You need water?
- Yeah.

- All right.

- You okay?

- All right, talk to me.

Your heart's racing?

Just take a couple deep breaths.

Seeing Jess grab for
her heart is terrifying.

Feel lightheaded at all?

Captain Sandy, Malia.

- Next, on "Below Deck Med"...

- Strike one.
- Hey.

- Strike two.

You just got traded.

- Oh, Johnny's... ed man.

- Oh!

- He's, like...

- Rude.

- ...sake!

- Come on, man.
- Quickly!

- Rob is killing me.
A heaving line?

You made that mistake
three times.

- I gave Rob a hug
the other day.

You wanted to shoot me
in the face.

- Is Jess jealous?

- What the?

- He could sit there and flirt
with her all day long.

- Jess and Rob suck
to go out with.

- Bye-bye, friend zone.