Below Deck Mediterranean (2016–…): Season 4, Episode 8 - What Eze the Problem? - full transcript

Hannah and Joao have a miscommunication over a guest excursion. In the galley, Anastasia is forced to prepare foods that go against her vegan lifestyle to please the charter guest, the '...

- Previously on
"below deck med"...

- Looks like our new stew's
walking down the dock.

- Hi!
- I'm so relieved.

Have you got a boyfriend?
- Um--

- who the [bleep] died and
made him moral police?

- Do you want to connect
to my hotspot?

- I'm pretty close.

- With travis, it's just
fun, light, and playful.

- Jackie siegel is featured
in the documentary

"the queen
of versailles."

- for me, every day
is a holiday.

- This is so classic.

- I get confused, like,
what goes with what.

- Yeah, no worries.

- And someone else
packed for me.

- Yeah.

- She would like a picnic
at the top of eze,

and have a celebration
of life dinner

to honor her late daughter,

- Oh, my god,
you're bringing chairs too?

- Everything for you
- oh, my--

- this isn't an easy walk.

[bleep] I'm dying.
- Oh, god.

- This is crew training day.
Let's have some fun.

- Yay!
- I call it "training."

however, it's more about
taking care of these people

who have just worked so hard.

- This is bullsh--.

- Where did she put
plastic cutlery?

- Where's the plastic cutlery?

- I don't know.
- ----Ing hell.

- There's nothing in the van.

- Are you ----ing kidding me?

- Are you guys ready?

[ panting ]

- is the plastic cutlery that
we brought with us in the van?

- There's nothing in the van.

- Okay. Then we're gonna need
to steal some from a restaurant.

- All right, copy that.

[ panting ]

- I'm gonna get cutlery
from the restaurant.

- Okay, cool.
- Oh, look at this butterfly.

- This is a total

- This is crazy.
- Oh, my god.

- We have to carry all this
sh-- up this mountain.

Surely, hannah, having
done it before,

understands that
we're undermanned for this.

- Oh!

- I could call captain sandy
and tell her how bad it is,

but it's already too late
to send more people.

There would be no point.

- Oh!

- I need eight.
- Eight?

- Yeah, please.
Thank you.

Do you have knives as well?
- Knives?

- Hi, guys.

Sorry, we're just doing
the last touches,

but you can have a seat
if you'd like.

- Fabulous. I'm gonna put the
louis in the shade.

- Aw.
- It's melting.

- And suddenly,
the job's worth it.

- Aesha, aesha, do
you guys have napkins?

- We've got some, thank you.

- ----Ing eze.

- You okay?
- No.

- I don't know.
- Did you put it in?

- No, I didn't.
I didn't pack it.

- But you were
holding it at the boat.

- Remember? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I didn't put it in the bag.

Or I think I did put--
I don't know.

- Yeah, you did.

- Yeah.

So what time is break,
like lunch break?

- Did--did we all check it?

- If she can't even own up
to your own mistake

of not packing the key thing
for a picnic?

Like, I'm not gonna
respect you.

- Look at this place.

- We've got some
umbrellas and stuff.

It's just we're not
fully set up, sorry.

- That's fine.

- I feel like I was thrown
in the fire for that.

I specifically
remember putting

forks and knives
and spoons in a ziploc.

So it's not my fault.
I just got here.

- Is that okay?
- I don't know.

[ bells tolling ]

[ shrieking ]

oh, my god!

- Are you guys ready, anyone?

I wanna hold the butterfly.
Look at him.

Oh--it touched my thumb.

Hey, I had a butterfly
come down and touch my thumb.

- Wow.
- No way.

- And then it's flying
around down there.

But I think I just scared it.

- I'll take the corner.
- Oh, this is perfect, right?

- Yeah.
- I don't like the sun either.

- That was ----ing hard.
- Bon app?tit, guys.

- Yeah.
- Thank you.

- Here's to all of you, and--

- get in here.
- What--you don't like pictures?

Well, you've chosen the wrong
industry for it.

- We'll--we'll do all
four of us.

All four of us.
- Why, what's wrong?

- Nothing.
Nothing's wrong.

- [ laughs ]

- This is something that only,
like, a billionaire could do.

- Yeah.

- But we--we--we
are billionaires.

- We were a billionaire.

- It's so crazy to think
so many of the richest people

in the world are
actually idiots.

- Yes.

- Hey, aesha?
- Yes?

- Can you tell the chef
I give her two thumbs up?

- Aw, I will.

- And--and--and this--
and this thumb--

- oh, thanks, you guys.

- This thumb got
a butterfly kiss.

- Yeah.
- Unbelievable.

- Okay, I'm gonna go
jump in the shower.

- Would you like to
make our way down, and--

- yeah.
- Yeah?

- We're gonna stop by
one store on the way down.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Okay, sure.

- Hi, hannah.

The guests are gonna go
do some shopping.

Aesha's going with them.

- I'll see you in five hours.
- Yeah, see ya.

- And we'll start packing and
sending everything down.

It will take quite
some time, though.

- Thank you so much, joao.

- Cool, out.

- See you guys.
- Bye.

- There's the butterfly,
in front of frank.

- ----Ing starving.

- Where does this
plastic cutlery go?

- I think it was meant to go
to the beach, but they forgot.

- You know you have
swamp ale.

- I guess we could
just wipe them and--

it's just awkward.
I can't do two.

- Look at that gemstone.
- We're in a rock shop.

- Losing blood in your arms?
- Yeah.

- This is such a bollock.

- Look at the golden goat.

- Oh, my god.
- Right?

- Was it worth it?

- Jack, jack, jack!

- Oh, my god, it's on you.
- Jackie, there's a bee on you!

[ shrieking ]

- this is bullsh--
because there's just

too little of us to
do this much work.

- Yeah.

- I like how you do that.

It's like dance moves.

- And you do a little spin,
like that.

- Yeah.

- First course is--
- the seared scallop.

Second course, black squid ink
pasta and sea urchin.

- I have been ----ing
killing it in this galley,

but these guys are requesting
some weird-ass sh--.

Sea urchin?

It looks like a testicle
with spikes coming out of it.

Something a vegan
would never touch.

Actually, something a normal
person would never touch.

- Yeah.

- Could we get a tender
to come to the port?

- I'm leaving in one minute.

- This one--

- I'm spending your money.
- Look how big my ring is.

- This is the longest
jewelry session ever.

- Yeah, get used to it.
- Woo!

- Hey, man.
- Hey.

- How was that?
- Sucked.

- Sucked?
- Yeah, it was miserable.

It was such a sh-- show.

- Okay, there's two nice--
- we learned tr?s sexy.

We're like,
how do we say "tr?s sexy."

- oh, tr?s sexy.
- My husband's sexy.

- Tr?s sexy.
- Tr?s sexy.

- Tr?s bored.

- How you doing?
- Not great.

That was ----ing
bullsh-- to be fair.

- Why?

- Because it's just
too much work

for that little
amount of people.

It was so ill-planned.
- For four people?

- It took us an hour and a half

just to bring
the sh-- back down.

- Gosh.
- That's ridiculous.

- I'm gonna send you
on a quick break.

- Yeah.
- An hour?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

- An hour break--doggone it.

I've been up since 5:30
in the morning, you know?

And I went to ----ing eze.

- If you guys want to crack off,
I can deal with this.

- Yeah, it's bullsh--.

If there's extra hands to work,
why aren't we working?

Why are we playing?
It's not right.

- Yeah.
- Because we were ----ed, man.

The last thing I need to
hear when I get back on board

is how everyone's day
has been so chilled,

while we worked our
----ing asses off.

That's chaos.

- That's, uh, picnics for you.

- Yeah, but, uh, it's like
the planning, I don't know.

- There's just not
a lot I can do.

- Yeah.

- I understand joao's

But I sent two girls.

You have four deck crew.

Why did you leave
two on the boat?

- We're not doing that again.
- Nothing I can do.

- That just was too much.

- ----Ing bullsh--.

- Coming up...

- June, June, hannah.

[ snoring ]

[ knocking ]

- you just got here, honey.
Did you not nap on the plane?

It's 6:30.
- Oh [bleep].

- I hear a bag.
- Oh, that's a good sound.

- I hear a bag rattling.
- We hear ching-ching.

- And I don't hear you bitch
about work much, so.

- ----Ing bullsh--.

- We got the job done.

Whereas I feel if it
was jack or travis,

it would have halted rather
than been finished.

- Joao and I have
been really carrying

the deck team a little bit.

So having travis and jack
being the ones

who are testing out
the waterslide and seabob,

I don't know,
it's just frustrating.

- That was pretty sweet,
though, that those assholes

got paid for having a day off.

[ laughs ]

- jack, you can hear--
-I like that one.

- Yeah, I bought
this butterfly ring.

- It is so nice.

Thirty thousand dollars!

- I--I hate trying
to make a deal.

- It's crazy that people
spend that much on jewelry.

Growing up, we couldn't
even afford cheese.

- She got it.
- I bought the store.

- I think we should
right now.

- Okay.

- Hello, aesha?
- Go ahead, aesha.

- Yeah, no worries,
we can do that.

- Handling sea urchin lungs.

- June, June, hannah.

[ snoring ]

June, hannah?

- Do you know what irks
me a little bit?

When my third stew's late
from her break

on her second ----ing day.

- Yeah.

- You just got here,
honey, okay?

Did you not nap on the plane?

- Hello, darlings.

- Hey. It's 6:30.
- Oh [bleep].

- It's okay.
- I'm sorry.

- That's okay.

- We're ready?
- We made it.

- Oh, we made it.
- Climb on board.

- Let's do it.

- Just start pulling for dinner.

- Gotcha.
Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.

- Okay.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- How did--how was it?

- It was really nice.
They loved it.

- They did?
- Yeah.

- Great. Awesome.

- Hi!

- We're back!
- Woo!

- Did you have fun, guys?

- Yeah, great, it was so good.

- Do you mind if
I redo my makeup?

I've been sweating
dogs today.

- No, of course, darling.
What's the time?

- Quarter past seven.

- Come back at
quarter past eight.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

- Thanks!
Mwah--see you soon.

- Hey.
- How was your lunch?

- Great.
- Fantastic.

- A lot of work for your staff.

- Don't you look adorable?
- I know, love that outfit.

- Holy cow.
- Thank you.

- Thank you.

- ? I'm sorry, little
sea urchin ?

? I don't want to cut your skin,
but I have to ?

- look, this is gold.
- Yeah?

- ? crazy rich people
want to eat you ?

- aw, that is.

- I mean, I'm not--
I'm not into goats, but--

- goats aren't my thing.
- You don't like goats?

- Ugh.

- Hello?

- How was June?

You sorted the cutlery out?
- Yeah.

- What the [bleep]
happened today?

- I was so ----ing annoyed.

She's like, no, you need
to tell me to get it.

And I was like, the main thing
that I told you to get.

So now I've got my eye on her.
- Mm-hmm.

- Whatever.

- I hope she's not gonna be
a ----ing nightmare.

- I know.

- Oh there he is.
How was the beach, chesty?

- Mate.
It's not even ----ing good.

- Yeah.

- Travis is on the
stern already, so--

- is he, yeah?

I think joao does like me.
Like, we get on well.

But in the work space,
he's trying to tell me

what to do all the time.

Like, I'm not a mog.

I'm not gonna be running round
with a pole up me arse.

That's just not my personality.

- Hello.
- How are you?

- I just wanted to have a quick
chat with you about tonight.

I just wanna know what
your intentions are.

- I'd like it to be, like,
kind of a spiritual feeling.

- Okay. So like I'll just
have the lanterns

ready down on the swim platform?
- Yeah.

- My mother went through it,
so I--yeah.

It's really, really tough.

I was six, and my older
brother scott was 12.

And my brother
who passed was 10.

And then four years after that,
my parents split up.

And then two years after that,

scott decided to
move to ireland.

So it was very consecutive.

Like, it's strange,
going from, like,

a family of five people to
two people in the same house.

It's very bizarre.
So I get it.

We'll make it special tonight.

- Thank you.
- Okay?

- Okay.
- Thank you, hannah.

- You're welcome.

- Those are different
sizes, hey?

- These two?
Those two.

[ laughs ]

go on, try and get it again.

That's james bond style, mate.

- No, I don't think
it's anyone's fault,

but we're not doing
that again like that.

- Yeah.
How was June today, good?

- Yeah, she was fine.

- She has the personality of
a ----ing glass of water.

[ laughs ]

one little tiff can
definitely spiral

when it comes to me and
joao's relationship.

We've come so far,
so it's best if he lets it go

and I let it go,
and it just is what it is.

- I think we're close,
you and I.

- Oh, why?
- Yeah?

No, I'm not saying it
as a bad thing.

- Ah.
- It's a--

- funny that I see it as a
bad thing, though, hey?

- Why? Do you see it
as a bad thing?

She's growing on me,
to say...

That's all that's growing,
I promise.

- Can I please have
one of them tissues?

- I brought you some
olive oil down.

- Aw, thank you, popeye.

[ imitates popeye laugh ]

- hey
- how you doing?

What's going on?

- Um, so we're doing
starter, starter.


- And then I'll set the mains.

- Are you talking
about knives?

- I'm talking about
knives and forks.

- Okay. So just these?

- Yeah.
- Two little ones.

- Like that.
- Oh, that's how you do--oh.

I'm very smart, but, um--

- do you wanna do
the middle of the table,

and I'll do everything else?
- Yeah.

- Okay.

- How's everyone finding
everything, good?

- I don't know.

- Wow.

- I thought your daughter's
favorite color was purple?

- Oh, my god.

- This is so sweet.

- Let me show you
a picture of my daughter.

- Aw, you did that.

- Right before
she passed away.

- Oh, my god, you're crying.
- Yeah.

- You're so sweet.
- Okay.

- No, I mean--my dad passed away
a few years ago.

My dad, he just got
very sick out of nowhere.

It was very unexpected,
and it changed everything.

I miss my father every day.

It's just not
the same without you, dad.

- Like today, like the butterfly
came and landed.

- No, I know.

- And I felt like my daughter
is giving,

like, a symbol
that she's here.

- She's there. When you see
those signs, that is her.

- I mean, I swear to god, and--
- I understand what you mean.

- --I know how you lost
your father,

and I bought this as--and
I wanna give this to you.

- Are you sure?

- For all of us.
- It's too nice.

- It's--it's just gold-plated.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah, absolutely.

I'm getting goosebumps, see?
- That's okay.

- Feel my leg--
I got chicken legs.

I don't know if that's your dad
or my daughter or both.

- What's the haps?
Where are the people?

- They're in their cabins.

- Thank you, June.
- Oh, you're so sweet.

- I love you.
- I love you.

- Look how pretty.
- June did this.

- Aw.

- Would you like
red with dinner?

- Yes, please.
- Thank you.

- Are we spending
the night here?

- We are.

- But we can get you a tender,

for anyone who's
going into monaco.

- Oh, great.

- Should we do it or just stay?

- I say if you wanna go out,
I'm ready.

- I wanna go out.

- June, June, hannah.

Do you mind checking the cabins
for me, and then I'll pop down?

- Copy.
- Thank you.

- I'm surprising myself
with every meal that I put out.

I look at the plate,
I'm like, damn.

It's ready.
- Okay.

So your first course
this evening is seared scallops

on a cauliflower puree,
with caviar.

I think anastasia's menu
is actually spot-on.

The scallops look like boobs,

but you know, there's a lot
of fake ones on board.

- These are real.
- Mm.

- June, June, hannah.

- Oh, hey.
- All the cabins are done?

- Um, yeah.
- Did you do them, do them?

- Yeah.
- Perfect.

- It takes me a while to
finish things that I've started,

but I always
end up coming back.

- Okay.

- Doesn't mean it'll be
in five minutes,

doesn't mean it'll be in two
days, but I'll get it done.

It took me two years
to finish bartending school.

- Coming up...

- Calm down, mate.

- I can't calm down
if you keep ----ing up.

- It's not a big deal.

- It is a big deal.
- It's not a big deal.

- It is a big deal.
- It's not a big deal.

- Mate--
- calm down.

- If he pushes my
boundaries further,

he's gonna see someone he really
doesn't wanna ----ing see.

- It's yummy.

- The chef must have gone to
a very special chef school.

- I was wondering.

Is that your next
course for them?

- Yep.
- Beautiful.

- What's that orange sh--?
- Sea urchin. Take 'em.

- Chef attitude already.

It's actually easier
with anastasia as the chef,

because we're friends
and we won't argue.

Behind you.

- But I prefer to fight
with a chef throughout

the season and be sending out,
like, banging plates,

than I would to be
sending out something

that's not quite
at the standard I'm used to.

- Hm, what's this?

- Squid ink pasta
with sea urchin.

- Looks like seaweed
or something.

- Actually, sea urchin
really tastes

like a nursing baby's poop.
- Nice.

[ all exclaiming ]

- because it's like--
comes out yellow.

- How can you eat that?
- And sea urchins are yellow.

- So you've tasted
new baby poop?

- Well, I got it on my fingers.
- That sounds terrible.

- Yeah.

- Everybody's palate
is different.

- I'm just gonna
go do cabin checks, okay?

- Okay.

- Hey.

- So the beds
haven't been turned down.

- Oh.

When hannah look at you
like you're dumb--

- that's why I gave you
the cabin checklist.

- Yeah.

- It's like turn down
the bed, light on--

- no, that's self-explanatory.

Like, that's what
makes me flustered.

Because I just--
I'm just--yeah--yeah.

But she--yeah.

- If I say "have you
finished cabins,"

and then I check cabins
and they're not finished,

that's when
I'm gonna get annoyed,

not because you took
longer to do it.

- I get what you're saying.

- You do?
- Yeah.

- Okay.

- That is so good.

- I wanna hire this chef.
- I wanna buy her.

- Well, the chef
wouldn't be much.

It'd be the yacht that
I have to buy to put her on.

- So why did she buy you a ring?

- My dad passed away--
- sorry--

- --September 13.
No, I know.

I haven't really told anybody.
- Yeah.

- He's always with me.

He's always... And she, her
daughter's always with her.

- Yeah.

- So that's what
we were talking about.

- Aw, that's so nice of her,
to get you something.

- It was--I told her,
it's very special.

- I feel so bad for her.
- I know.

For a lot of people
after a death,

it takes so long
to recover from that.

- What's up, babe?
What's wrong?

- Yeah, go on.

- You feel sick?

- Yeah, I just feel like being
around all this, like,

memorial stuff is just
reminding me of my brother.

- You're all right.

You can feel sad.

I can feel you heart beat.

Let it out.

- Oh, I think that's all.

I just needed a big cry.

- Hi.

- Hi, jack.

Yeah, don't say hi to
jack on a plane.

- Why?
- Why not?

- You'll get arrested.
Hi, jack.

[ laughing ]

- huh?
- You all right?

- Yeah.

- I don't like seeing
aesha upset.

Open your mouth.
Oh, that was--

- almost.

- If she can get over
something so traumatic,

what have I got
to complain about, really?

- Mm.
- That was the shell.

[ laughs ]

- jack, do you mind--
do you mind putting--

- yes, bro?

- Towels on the tender and
making sure it's all dry,

ready for them to go?

- Yeah.

- Are you guys gonna go out?
Like, now?

- How are we gonna get back?

- I'm not going.
- Well, you'll get back.

Where is everyone?
I'm kinda getting tired of this.

- I don't know what's going on.

- We just wanna rock off in
the absolute most respectful

attire any woman's ever
been taken on a date in.

- Joao, joao,
the guests are ready.

- Copy.

- We'll see you
when we get back.

Love you.
- Bye.

- Jack, jack, can you help
me on the tender?

- So lucky that we're
the same size as well.

- Jack, jack.

- Yeah.

- Jack, jack, joao.

- [bleep] off.
Go ahead, bro.

- I'm gonna need your help
with the tender, mate.

- [bleep]. Crack on.

- Copy, I'll be two minutes.

- [bleep].

Beautiful. Sound.

- They're in a rush.
- Are we in a rush?

They're waiting for us.

- Be on my way.
- I'm done with you, jack.

- Come here.
- Oh, my gosh.

- Have fun.

- You're coming with.

- Bye.
- Bye!

- But it's just
so emotional for me.

- Yeah, oh, definitely.
Of course it is.

- And--

- woo!

- Where's the car?
- We wait for it.

- You left us all alone!
- No.

- Write something
to the person--

- okay.

- --That are up
there in the heavens,

and well send them off together.

- I know, I'm never
gonna forget this.

Do you wanna let one go?

- Oh, no, I'm okay.
But thank you.

- It's not your choice, mate.

- Look at this moonwalk
in these.

It's a beautiful thing.

- It's like a little ----ing
child, man. Kindergarten

- these--these feet
can't be caged.

They're like a free--
a free animal.

- Dude, put some ----ing
shoes on.

- Calm down, mate.

- I can't calm down if you
keep ----ing up.

- Wait, wait.
- Oh, you got it?

- Wait, this is upside-down.

- What do you mean,
it's upside-down

- oh, yeah, do that--
- you're gonna go this way.

- It's not a big deal.
- It is a big deal.

- It's not a big deal.
- It is a big deal.

- It's not a big deal.
- Mate.

- Calm down. Relax.
- It is a big deal.

- It's not a big deal.
- It is a big deal.

- Yes!
- Oh!

- Oh!

- It's not.
- Yes, it is.

- The world's still
turning around.

- Don't even start with me,
mate, honestly.

Jesus christ.

Jack doesn't do jacksh--.

He's gonna see someone he really
doesn't wanna ----ing see.

- Not a big deal.
- Mate.

- Calm down.

- Coming up...

- Oh, wait, wait,
where are you going?

- Ah!

- Oh, my god.

Oh, my god, why am I here?
Why do I do this job?

- Nope, nope, nope--
- it's gonna go down, see?

- What am I supposed to do?

- Are they--yeah.

- Oh, it just went out.

- Release it.
- Oh!

- Yay!
- Aw.

- I need you to stop treating
everything I say as a joke, man.

- Okay.

- We're gonna have a party.

- When I said to you you need
to wear your shoes, you said,

"my feet are free, you can't put
these feet in a cage."

- I've got a point there.

- Oh, it's almost ready.

[ gasps ]

- oh, oh.
- Oh!

- Well, it works at home.

- If you want something from me,

then it's best to not
speak to me like a dickhead.

- What do you mean?
When we were talking just now--

- I mean, just like--
- it wasn't like that,

wasn't it?

- With some respect, and then--

- are you trying to tell me
that I have not

treated you with respect?

- [ clears throat ]

- There it goes.

Ah, crap. Oh.

- If that's your way
of telling me

that you do have
respect for me, then--

- I do, absolutely.
- --Then I appreciate that.

- I swear to god.
- Yeah, I do appreciate that.

- They need to be held
for a minute.

You need to hold
them for, like, 60 seconds,

until they start rising.

Then let them go.

Come on, float up.
Please float up.

- Yay!
- We did it!

We did it!

Oh, my god.

- Yay!
- Oh, my god, we did it.

- Woohoo!

- Oh, isn't that pretty?
- Look how beautiful.

- I think your dad and
my daughter's up there.

- I have a question.
- Yeah.

- Do you think when I speak
to jack, I'm disrespectful

in any way when I ask him
to do anything?

- I think you're just
being a regular boss.

- Yeah.

- He tries to beat around the
bush of the point.

- And I think that's,
like, his thing now.

- Yeah. Yeah.

- Like oh, well,
I'm jack, so it's okay.

- Hi.
- Did you see this?

Look at what's next to the moon.

- Is that the lantern?

- No, I saw that earlier.
I think that's like--

- that's a star?
- Is it a star?

- It's--yeah, it's either a star
or, like, another planet.

That was--that's been up there.
- Oh.

- Is it another planet?
- It looked like a lantern.

- But--but you know what?

If we didn't
do the lantern thing,

we wouldn't have seen those.
This is, like--

- yeah, I know, yeah.
- That's special.

- June? Before you go to bed--

- thank you.
So I start at 8:30?

- 8:30, yeah, that's fine.
- Yeah.

Are you sure you don't
need me to stay?

- Whew.
- I don't mind.

- It's just
gonna take however long it takes

for them to go to bed.

Thank you.

- Hi, ladies.
Can I come in?

- Yeah.
- We love you.

- Thank you.
- We really do.

- Thank you.

- I took a picture
of mars and the moon.

The moon's over there.
- Are you sure?


- Did you order mars for me?

- Hi.

- How you holding up, all right?

- Heh, yeah.
[ phone ringing ]

- sh--.

Hello, hannah speaking.

- Is there all four of you?

- Yeah.

- Okay, thanks.
- Okay.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- Jack, jack, hannah.
Can you come up to the bridge?

- Copy, on my way.

- Okay. You're just gonna
go on your own.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Okay.

- Colin, mate, I'm on deck.

- Colin's off the boat, darling.

- Morning, travis.
- What's happening?

- I think they're on their way.

- Hi. How you doing?

- Oh, my god, you're here.

- All right, let's go.
Let's go, guys.

- Oh, my god,
what's going on here?

- I know, right?

Oh, wait, wait,
where are you going?

- Ah!

- Coming up...

- I'm not here to
create your motivation.

- As the team leader, you are.

- Captain sandy? Sorry.
If you've got a minute?

- Oh, my god,
what's going on here?

- I know, right?

Oh, wait, wait,
where are you going?

- Ah!

- No, no, no, you can't
go down there.

- Oh.
- Oh, my god.

Oh, my god.
- This is the laundry.

- I know.

- This is great.
- I know.

- Can we talk about it up here,

just so we don't
wake the crew up? Sorry.

I really feel like I've been
babysitting all night.

God, why am I here?
Why do I do this job?

- That was very pretty.

- [bleep] my life.

- Did you just get up for
like one minute?

- Did I get up for a minute?
- Yeah.

- Are you serious?
- Yeah.

- Dude, I haven't stopped.

- Really? You haven't
gone down yet?

- No.

These guys have been
----ing crazy.

- Oh, my god,
that was so amazing.

- Okay, I'm sorry you have to
go through with this sh--.

- As much as I hate to admit it,

I am looking forward
to the date with travis.

He's a bit of a menace,
but a lovable menace.

- I mean, I brought
the chinese lanterns.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- But did you bring mars?

- I'll see you in the a.M.

Good night, darling.

- What time did you
get in last night?

- I don't know.

- Are there people
sitting at the table?

- How would I know that?

- Because oh, I don't know,

it looked like you're
plating a plate.

- No.
- Oh.

[ meows ]

- joao, anchor up.
- Anchor up.

- Make it fast,
we have a schedule.

- Do you have a boyfriend, June?

- Um, it's weird, yeah.

I don't know.

- Because that's not
what you said to me.

You said,
"no, I travel too much."

- no, I didn't.

- Have you got a boyfriend?
- I'm always traveling, so--

- yeah, makes it hard,
doesn't it?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

- I don't know.

We're on a break.

It's hard for me to
tell everybody yes,

I am in a
committed relationship,

because it's complicated.

- Joao, drive us out.

We're going 12 miles
off this--so go that way.

- Okay.

- Me and joao had a ----ing
discussion in the tender

about having our shoes on.

- I haven't been wearing
shoes since the first.

- No, neither have I, mate.

- I think ----ing
bullsh-- shoes.

- Where is trav taking you
on your date tomorrow?

- Hopefully to bed.

Like, do what you want,
as long as I can sleep.

- I'm hungry.

- I want shade.
- I want coffee.

- All right,
should I run them up?

- Yeah, run 'em.
- You pop them on the table.

- Good morning.
- Morning.

- I know, I know.
- Oh, there's caviar, too?

This chef doesn't miss
a beat, huh?

- That is so yum!

- Yay!

- Perfect.

- Eta, 15 minutes.

- Time for me to get changed.

- Yeah, uh, captain sandy,
captain sandy,

we are just entering
the breakwater

on our starboard side,
at 50 meters.

- Am I missing anything?
- No.

- Stern in the line with dock.
This line is good.

Two meters to the dock.


Stern line on, second
line going in, perfect.


And I pulled a hammy.

- Yay!
- Thank you so much.

- See you soon. Mwah.

- Bye-bye.
- Bye, lovely to meet you.

- Thank you.

- I'm getting goosebumps again.

Your crew is the most
not only professional,

but the nicest group of
people I've ever met.

And something is bursting
a hole in my pocket.

It's for all of you,
thank you.

I wish I could all
take you home

and move into
versailles with me, you know?

Like, I hiked to the top of eze.

I was, like, winded, I was so--

the most beautiful butterfly
I've ever seen in my life.

It landed on my thumb,
and then it just kinda

kept circling around.

I expected excellence,
but what they--

and I really can't say much.

And at the beginning
of the trip--

the google space app,
and it was mars.

I'm a florida girl,
you're a florida girl.

Everyone's handsome and all--

- we're glad that--we--we're
so happy and thrilled

that you enjoyed it

and we were able to provide
this experience for you.

- Okay, I love all of you.

- Bye!
- Bye-bye.

- Bye.
- Bye-bye.

- That was a long speech.

- All right, everyone,
back to work.

We'll reconvene in the main
salon for our tip meeting.

- I am a soggy biscuit
at the moment.

- Yeah.

- Don't--
- oh, that almost hit my sack.

- Captain sandy, sorry.
If you've got a minute?

- Okay.

- I'm--well, I'm not afraid
to say that

I'm struggling a bit
with the deck team.

I'm trying to drive people
who don't want to be here.

- They will most likely
never work at your pace.

To find exceptional people
in this industry

is far and few between.

But I also feel that if
you engage more with them--

- yes.
- Say, look, we are a team.

- Yes.

- Some people need you
to believe in them.

- Right.

- This is all a part
of being a leader.

- Cool.
- All right, good job.

- Thank you.
- Good luck.

I'm here for you.
- Thank you, captain sandy.

- How'd your first charter go?
- Couldn't have gone any better.

- Really? Okay.
- Yeah.

Have you ever seen
"west side story?"

- "west side story?"
- yeah.

- Like the broadway show?
- Yeah.

- Yes, I have.
- I just saw it the other day.

- What?

[ hums "america" from
"west side story" ]

if you have a conversation
that ends in

a nice little musical number,

uh, you know you
had a good time.

All the songs are bangers.

- I'm hungry.

- All crew, all crew,

meet in the main salon
for our tip meeting.

- Copy that.

- You guys did a great job.

And you, I'm just in awe of.

Like, you're just--
you have a talent.

- Thank you.

- Our new crewmember,
how do you feel being thrown in?

- Uh, I'm getting along,
keep learning, yeah.

- Good.
- It's gonna be good.

- Awesome.
- Yeah.

- All right, great.

This is a good tip.

Thirteen thousand euros--

1,175 euros per person.

- Whew.
- It's a nice tip.

- You're a bloody billionaire
who just spent

30 grand on jewelry, and you
can't even give us a decent tip?

Cheers, babe.

- Cheers, everyone.
- Cheers.

- I think we need some rest.
- Yes.

- Cheers.

- Deck team, deck team,
do you mind meeting

on the main deck after, thanks.

- Copy.
- Ugh.

- I think we can all
safely say

we were slightly
more disorganized

than the previous one.

If you guys have any issues,
you gotta let me know now.

- Only what we talked about, me
and you arguing on the last day.

So I think if
that happens again,

which it probably will do,
let's be honest.

It's better to talk
to me with respect.

- Okay.

- And then that's gonna
create motivation.

- I'm not here
to create your motivation.

- As the team leader, you are.

- Coming up...

- Oh.
- I wonder what's going on.

- Oh, hon.
- I'm okay, don't say anything.

- Is she okay?
- Is she crying?

- No.

- I'm not here to
create your motivation.

- As a team leader, you are.

- It's--we--we just get on
with what we need to do.

Don't say well [bleep] this,
I'm not motivated,

because it doesn't
work like that.

Do you understand, eh?

- Yeah.

- Cool, guys, break.

- Oh, this is all twisted.
This is so messed up.


- It's one
----ing bedsheet down.

- It's a ----ing turn-down.

- This is--I'm getting pissed.

- Come back. Come back.

- It's not my fault!

- Hey, our date's
gonna be tomorrow.

- Aw.
- Sh--.

- Are you giving me a
little semi then?

- I did not.
- Yeah.

I haven't been on a date
in ages, you know.

- Me either.

- I don't even go on dates,
to be honest.

Last date I went on was
a one-night stand.

It was love-ly.

Do you want me
to wash your hair?

- I don't think that counts
as a date, though.

- It is. We did get food
on the way home.

- Are you excited to get
to know June tonight?

- Yeah.
- Colly-wolly.

We--we're gonna fix that
for you.

I will wingman you to--

- but you can't--we can't
sh-- to some, like--

- yes, we can.
That's my whole point.

Throw us a pickup line.

- You know,
are those space pants?

Because your ass
is out of this world.

You know, you must be an atom,
because we have chemistry.

- I--I just--
I'm gonna wingman you.

We'll get this right.

- It's a science joke.

- Ugh.

- Wait, how do you do this?

- Do what?
- I don't know.

- You want me
to put it on for you?

- Why is there two latches?
- It's two different necklaces.

- Oh.

- I'm a bit nervous for my
first time outside of the boat.

Everyone knows each other.

- Look at you.
- Ooh.

- Hi, guys.

- You look gorgeous.

I hope to make
friends easily

and I think it'll
be okay, hopefully.

- Are you guys
ready to go drinking?

- Yay!

- Au revoir, bitches.

- Just, why wait it?

- Thank you very much.

- Let's go, let's go, let's go.

- Hi, darling, how are you?

This is so nice.

- This is awesome.

- It's like a little picture.

- This is just so pretty.

- Isn't it lovely?

- What do you eat, June?
Are you vegetarian or anything?

- No, but I don't eat,
like, um, octopus or--

- strictly no octopus?

- Do you want me to take it?
No, okay, you got it.

- Thank you.
- What the [bleep] is that?

- We all got one
for a little cheers.

- Yeah.
- Yes.

- Yay, cheers.

- For our new crewmate!

- Cheers.

- We're gonna be
twerkin' tonight?

- Oh, yeah, baby.

- Oh, I can't wait for that,
you know.

- Thank you.

- You guys are actually
a very attractive couple.

- Yeah, you guys
look really cute.

- Thanks.

- I feel like aesha brings
the upright, the classiness

by, like, 99 percent.

- Until I start talking?

- Don't bring yourself down
like that, mother----er.

- You know what,
----ing acting like that.

- Yeah.

- June?
- No.

- Have you got a boyfriend?

- Yeah, I'm seeing--
I'm seeing someone, yeah.

- So you have a boyfriend?

- Well, I'm not looking.

- [bleep] me.

- Yeah, it's just chill.
It's nothing--it's nothing much.

- Joao, don't worry,
there's still a chance, bro.

- Cool it, man.

- Are you feel like you're
broken up a little bit?

- No, we're just not talking.

- Oh, now usually when I don't
speak to me ex-girlfriend,

I'm broken up with them.

- This is like a--
like a 50 questions.

We're all just
grilling her now.

- No, I wanna--
I'm just curious.

[ gags ]
- uh-oh.

- Oh, hon--

- I'm okay--don't say anything.
- Okay.

- Is she okay? What's wrong?
- She'll be fine.

She's okay.
She just needs a minute.

- Is she crying?
- No.

[ spitting ]

- next, on a special
90-minute "below deck med"...

- Johnny damon is a legendary
baseball player.

- Hi, johnny, how are you?

- Colin.
- Unreal.

- How is he in such good shape?
- That's called sex.

[ laughs ]

- can you stop
drinking beer now?

Find out why the ----ing
alarm is going off.

- I feel like with travis, he
just doesn't have an off switch.

- Can we do our date
another day?

- I swear to god, you will
be off this boat so fast.

- June, June, hannah.

Oh, dude, come on.

Answer the ----ing radio.

- She tells me she's a chef.

We see how she does on this.


- You could cook
this more for her?

- Yes.
- Anyone else?

- We basically have a third
stew in a chef's coat.

- We got stuck, cap.

- We definitely have
something on our chain.

- I can jump in and scuba dive.

- That chain falls on you,
it's so heavy it can trap you.

It takes you down to the bottom.