Below Deck Mediterranean (2016–…): Season 4, Episode 2 - Recipe For Disaster - full transcript
The crew's first beach picnic of the season gets off to a very rocky start, ultimately leaving Colin shattered and empty-handed. Meanwhile, Chef Mila faces her biggest challenge yet, baking...
- Previously on
- Previously on
"Below Deck Med"...
- I'm in France.
[ speaking French ]
- Hello.
- How are you?
He's apologized.
I'm always up for douche bags
changing themselves.
- I'm looking forward
to witnessing you
create these amazing meals.
- Oh...
- She's Cordon Bleu
trained out of Paris.
It's the best training
in the world.
- Best hamburger ever.
- Really great flavor.
- Brooke is moving to Canada
or some sh--? I don't know.
- Yeah.
Brooke and I worked
so well together.
But I found out she cheated
on me, so what can I do?
- When did you get here, Sandy?
- You call me Captain.
- Captain Sandy?
- We're not friends.
- Okay. How would
my mates describe me?
Probably just call me a dickhead
if you want the honest truth.
- Started as a chef on a small
47-foot sailing boat.
- Oh, so you can cook.
- It doesn't matter
what I'm doing.
I'm gonna do it at 110%.
- Primary is Jay Robertson.
Jay has requested a beach
picnic on the second day.
- Where's the rest of the group?
- Nobody knows we're here.
- Rule 101.
Never leave the guests behind.
- Jay will be joined by his
best friend, John,
and his wife, Carol,
celebrating Carol's birthday.
[ retching ]
I'm sorry.
This is good to go.
- Are you gonna put
cheese on this or something?
Okay, what the [bleep]?
Like that's terrible.
- I've never seen a chef
put steaks into a microwave.
- Okay.
[ fog horn ]
- Are you cooking
the steak in the...
- No, no. I'm just heating it
up because it got too cold
because it was resting.
She looks at me like
I'm ----ing stupid.
Maybe Hannah should be a chef.
- You all done?
Okay, perfect.
- That was very good.
Thank you.
- What's the game plan?
- Everything will be loaded
Sea-Doo first.
Let's get started.
- We are ready for main? Yep.
- Thank you.
- Well done.
- This looks nice.
- I don't think a steak
can be nice
when it's been heated up
in a microwave.
- Here we go, sir.
- Wow, thank you.
- For your main course,
a filet with truffle sauce
on a bed of green beans.
- Thank you very much.
- Bon Appetit.
Enjoy.
- Mm.
- Wow.
- The filet is so good.
- That's saying something.
She's tough
to please on a steak.
- The only thing
I'm relieved with
is that the guests are
liking the food.
- Did they say anything
about the steaks?
- Yes. Carol said hers
was cooked perfectly.
- Thank you.
Of course, it makes
me feel happy.
It makes me feel good
and even better
because I was sick,
but I still managed it.
- You don't need the knife.
You can cut if with a fork.
- So good.
- You all right?
- Let me know what's good.
- Just put it astern and
just keep coming
until you come against the boat.
- Make me a taco?
Can I eat this?
- Yeah, sure.
Didn't make it too spicy because
not everyone likes spicy, so...
- Was that for the guests?
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
- My pleasure, Captain.
- Hey, Sandy.
- How were they?
- They're okay, and, um...
Me and Sandy had
quite a rough season
to say the least the last year.
- Get away from me.
- Okay.
- Go to your cabin.
- So the communication
with Sandy
this season
is my main priority.
I don't want Sandy
seeing the food
and then wondering why I didn't
go and say something to her.
- I said, "I'm not
sending it out."
- Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- You all right, mate?
- All right, Bud.
If you can do things
with efficiency
and work as a
team on everything,
then sh--'s easier.
But you've got to
do it properly.
So you have to like figure a
method out and like, oh, yeah.
Then you gotta tell other
people how to roll a towel.
And you just go, "My life
is absolutely meaningless."
Happy days, you know.
We're rolling towels ----ing
living the dream every day.
- Honestly, I think
they'll be going to bed soon.
- Yeah.
- Fabulous friends.
- Big Dog.
- Who's on watch on the bridge?
Because I want to go to bed.
- Sandy, that's me.
I'll come up now.
- Anchor watch schedule.
That's when I'm getting
my beauty sleep.
The last thing I want to be
doing is sitting on the bridge.
- Thank you.
- Cheers, thank you.
Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
- You have a good night.
- Goodnight.
- So I know that you're gonna
give me a copy of your schedule.
Just so I know when
I've got help and stuff.
So right now, there's
only one person on?
- Yes.
- Okay.
We might need
to change that.
- Okay.
- Okay, because he has
to just sit in the bridge.
- Yeah.
I'll stay up until
the guests go to bed.
- Okay.
- Perfect.
All right.
- Thank you, Joao.
- Cool, no worries.
Thank you.
- Ugh, gross.
- Are we going the right way?
- Oh, I'm gonna pee my pants.
- I guess.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight. Thank you.
- Nobody's up?
- No, you're the first one up.
Can I get you anything?
- Yeah, sure.
- Definitely too early
to be working.
- Good morning.
- Morning.
- We're gonna get
ready to leave.
I'm gonna start
the mains, yeah.
- Okay.
- Good morning.
- How are you?
- How was your dinner?
- Oh, the food
has been fantastic.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- No, seriously.
I mean it.
- I think they're just being
nice, but I am cautious.
All right. We're getting ready
to leave to your beach picnic.
- Looking forward to it.
- Hey, who has radio
number one?
Can you return it back
to the bridge? That's mine.
- Sorry, Captain.
I'll bring it up.
- Give me my radio.
You're really not winning
me over right now.
The milk run.
- Hell of a first day, mate.
- The wild hair look.
- I was just looking
after it for you,
making sure no
one else took it.
- All crew, all crew,
we are going to depart.
You can start
hauling the anchor.
- Copy.
Hauling anchor.
- Coming in now.
Anchor's at home,
anchor's at home.
- Great.
We're going in to gear.
- Can we go on the buffet?
- Yeah, you can just start.
- Here's some fruit.
- Beautiful.
- Hey, kid, morning, morning!
- So I was thinking
what I'll do today
because we've got the
beach picnic...
- Mm-hmm.
- While the guests are off,
you and I can sit down
and do like the
meal plan for tonight.
And I think that
will be about...
- Yeah, what time?
- Two, I reckon,
but then we have
to have the food
to go like at 1:30.
- 1:30.
- Yes.
- I still say those
bananas are plastic.
But what about strawberries?
Look at how many babies
it could have.
- All right, now we got
to look that up!
- I'm a lot smarter
than I appear.
But then they find out that
I've got a double science degree
and say that there is something
going on behind the smile.
- The outside are actually
the plant's ovaries!
- The plant's ovaries!
- Get ready to drop
the starboard anchor.
- Shackles up.
- Go ahead and lock it down.
I feel that we're good.
- Copy.
- That's not very clever.
Okay, good to go.
- Grey Goose,
margarita stuff,
lime juice,
fresh lime, clean ice.
And these are going
in the freezer.
- When I'm on break,
obviously you're lead deckhand.
It's all on you when I'm off.
It's like 1:30 that she
wants everything
to start going to
the beach setup.
You just prepare everything
at the stern there.
- Lead deckhand, wow.
- Cool, mate?
Yeah. Take control.
- I hate the pedanticness
and over the top bureaucracy
which are on
large motor yachts.
We'll just get all these chairs
and put them near the tender.
We're gonna start shipping stuff
over in like half an hour.
- Can I get you
anything for now?
- A water with lemon?
- Okay, sure.
- Got it.
- We got everything, right?
- Yep, that's everything.
- Let's go!
- I'm just driving
completely blind.
I don't really know
where I'm going.
- The only beach that you see
that's on your port side.
- Right there!
- When the guests request
something, you provide.
We're in the Mediterranean.
It isn't like you can go on a
public beach and have a picnic.
So you have to choose
places where it's private
because that's why they
want a beach picnic.
- Oh!
- Looks nice, right?
- I always end up stalking her.
I ----ing hate it.
- Don't look at her Instagram.
- As much as I can try and hide
how I feel about Brooke,
feelings still linger.
- Onwards and upwards!
- Hannah's brought
an energy that I never thought
I would see in her.
- You'll knock up a stewardess
at some stage, Joao.
- I'm planning on it
in the next six weeks.
- Get it in the hole.
- If I weren't on a boat,
I definitely wouldn't be
asking for club sandwich.
But we have to give
what the guests want.
- Yep.
- How long, chef?
- Seven minutes.
- Okay.
- Bim, bam, bot.
- This one, I'm just grating
the parmesan.
- Yay! Oh, they're so shaded!
- Thanks so much.
- We gotta go.
- Can we start carrying
these to the tender?
- The salads, please,
because this one I need to mark
which one is for which one.
- Salads, yes?
- Wait, wait, wait.
Sorry, Mila. How long until
all the food is ready?
- Two minutes.
- Okay.
- Two minutes.
- I just don't want it
sitting in the sun.
- You got two minutes.
- I don't know how you
are late
in making sandwiches
for five people.
Just ----ing have
the sandwiches done on time.
- Please don't rain.
- Please don't rain.
- It's taking forever.
- Our timing is so off.
- Them?
- No, the food.
- No bacon.
The rest are ready.
Thanks.
- Right. Let's get carrying.
Yeah.
- Jesus.
- Girls, girls, Hannah.
The food and beverages
are on their way.
- Perfect.
Thank you.
- And, girls, just to
confirm, you have extra...
wait, wait, wait.
Are we gonna cut it?
Like do we need to send a knife?
Well, we need to send
a knife then.
These are things that should not
be happening on a super yacht.
[ sighs ]
We have to go.
- Coming up...
- Okay, I hear thunder.
Get them back to the boat.
- Yeah, not good.
- Bloody hell!
- And later...
- You should just shut
the [bleep] up.
- Don't tell me to shut up.
- I would never speak to you
as a human being.
- Look at you.
It's like some personal feelings
being touched here.
- I'll give you a knife.
- I'll give you a knife.
Wait.
Thanks.
Thanks.
- And this is the dressing.
- Okay.
- Anything else?
- No, I don't think so.
- Thank you, guys.
[ sighs ]
- A little weeble wobble,
hobbling over here.
- Yeah.
- No tomato, no bacon.
- Look at you.
- Running!
- Here's rope.
- Are we allowed to go down?
- Yeah, you can come on down.
- Okay, here we go.
- Enjoy your beach picnic.
- Thank you.
- Thank you, Hannah.
- We're gonna turn around.
- Hannah, can you give me like
a 10-minute warning
before the guests come?
- The guests are coming now.
- Oh, ----ing kidding me?
Tumblers.
- I have another bowl here if
you need.
- Oh, yes, please!
- This is gonna be so cool.
- You want everything
behind the bar?
- Yeah, take those two bags.
- Be very careful.
It's very rocky.
Be careful.
- Hello.
Welcome to lunch!
- All right.
- With those sandwiches,
there are some with no tomato
and some with no bacon.
- Perfect.
- Who would like a drink?
- I'll have a margarita.
- Yeah, sure.
- Lot of ice.
- I got you.
- Really good.
- Oh, my God. She listens.
It's a miracle.
I'm happy that Anastasia's a
strong third steward so far.
It's been a little bit testy
the past few years.
- I'm not super detail-oriented.
- It's just so unfair
this is happening to me.
- And then silver service .
- I don't remember writing that.
I honestly do not.
- The cabins are
really good, babe.
- Okay, I'm happy to hear that.
I like being the best,
no matter if
it's cleaning a toilet
or preparing a five-course meal
for charter guests.
If anything, it'll get better.
- Thank you so much.
- Yeah, no problem.
You live in France?
- How's that going
for you so far?
- So far, so good.
- Oh, you gotta be -------
kidding me. Sh--.
Hello, hello, Aesha?
I think the tequila
got left behind.
[ sighs ]
- I have so many balls in
the air at the moment.
I'm not surprised I dropped one.
There you go.
Thank you.
- Okay.
- This is why on a yacht,
you really need everyone
to be able to do their job.
- Oh, it just gets worse.
- Sunny, Sunny, I'm just going
to drop off some tequila.
- Thank you.
They're coming with it.
- Okay.
- Not good.
- The tequila was left
on the boat.
So they're zooming it over now.
- You know how to own it.
It's a good quality.
- Oh, thanks.
- It really is.
- How big's the bottle?
Just chuck it to me.
Good.
Joao is like Aqua Man.
Just coming in,
he has the goods,
he's saving the day...
Oof!
[ glass breaks ]
And then I ruin it.
I don't know why I would try and
catch both of them in one hand.
- Oh, no, what are you doing?
- Here. Take this.
- This one came
by Camp Pendleton.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, we're good, we're good.
- Bottle broke.
- Well, he tossed them and...
- There you go.
- Well, I hope that tastes good.
- Thank you, love.
- How you doing?
- Good, good.
Doing the dinner.
- Potatoes?
- Yeah.
My favorite.
Maybe it'll go up.
I hope so.
- Someone ask Captain Sandy if
she wants a little cup of tea.
Get meself in the good book.
- Yeah.
Get yourself on her good side.
- I'll get in
Captain Sandy's good books
'cause I don't think
she's seen me
work very hard
since I been onboard.
- Is that my tea?
- It is.
- Oh, thank you.
- See if it's up to
your high standards.
I'm English.
Obviously, I'm gonna make
the best tea onboard.
- Mm.
- Goes down like
a little roll of silk.
[ chuckles ]
- This is delicious.
This is how I'm gonna drink
my tea every afternoon.
- From now on.
- Let's sit outside.
- So food tonight was
a request for Italian.
- Yep.
- I'm thinking
caprese salad.
- Okay, so that's a salad.
- Yes, and I'm thinking to
give them prosciutto melon
or something like that.
- Yes.
- Okay.
- Because I won't be able
to slice it properly.
- Okay, so caprese salad...
- Black truffle pasta.
with real truffles,
- And then you're thinking
you can do the cake?
- I'll try, yeah.
- I totally have
your back, okay?
- Okay.
I hate fake people.
[ chuckles ]
I believe Hannah is fake.
- Good.
- Great.
- This is so embarrassing.
Okay, this is by no
means your birthday cake.
Because it's brownies.
- Make a wish.
He's still here.
[ laughs ]
- No, I love good brownies.
- The temperature's dropped
quite dramatically now.
We'll be ready to cover.
- Okay, I hear thunder.
I think we should get them
back to the boat.
- Yeah, absolutely, yep.
- Okay.
- Nothing like weather
to ruin a holiday.
- Before we get caught in the
storm, you want some more?
- No, I'm good, honey.
- Jack and Travis, okay,
start covering up everything.
- Copy that.
- Bloody hell!
- See that lightning?
- Oh, it comes in fast,
doesn't it?
- Coming up...
- I think I just bit
into some baking powder.
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, it's really...
- Yeah, really strong.
- So bad.
- Bloody hell!
- Aesha, Aesha. Hanna.
- We're coming over now.
Joao will help you pack up.
Then we'll get the guests back
to the boat immediately.
- Perfect.
Thank you so much.
The tenders are coming
now to pick you guys up.
- Perfect!
- There you go.
- Carol, all set?
- Thanks so much.
- Hey, you gotta move faster.
- Yeah.
- Okay. We got a storm coming.
- I'll leave that out
of the way for now.
- That was quick!
[ laughs ]
- I loved all the rocks.
- We don't want you getting
struck by lightning.
- Thank you, Joao.
- Thank you.
- Bring that in.
- Okay.
- How long have
you got to cover?
- I gotta worry
about maneuvering.
I'm not worrying about covering.
- Colin, I'm on my way back.
Try and get as much stuff
as we can together.
- Let me just deflate this.
- No, don't.
Just bring it in.
- Things basically ready to go.
I just have to take
the umbrellas down.
- #crazy!
- #rough!
- Here we go.
- Thank you.
- Wow.
- You're welcome.
- Thanks, hon.
- Oh, yes.
Crew, crew deck, crew,
can we get one more on
the swim platform, please?
- Certainly.
Pass this to Jack, then.
Let it out a bit.
- You're looking good.
- Hey, I'll do it with style.
- Can we serve the caprese
on those big golden plates?
[ chuckles ]
Come on, let's nip out.
I'm just gonna put these poles
and stuff away.
- He's not on break, is he?
- I think so.
I think he goes off
at six 'till 10, right?
- Me and Jack have
an understanding.
I'm never gonna rat him out.
- Jack? Jack? Joao.
- Yeah, yeah. Yeah, go ahead.
- What you up to, bud?
- Nothing much.
- Do you want to come
and help us work?
- Yeah. Where are you?
- We're on the stern, working.
- What's up, mate?
- Yeah, what's happening, bro?
- I'm ready, mate. I'm ready.
I'm not gonna stand
in the rain, though.
- Yeah, you are,
if you need to.
- [ feedback ]
- Ah, [bleep].
- You would think,
as an engineer,
he'd be more efficient.
Is he just lazy?
As a leader, I need to figure
out what motivates Jack.
You talk more sh-- than work,
that's for sure, man.
- Cheers, honey.
- Sandy, Sandy?
Hannah.
How's your weather app
looking for the next
kind of hour or so now.
- It looks like it's going to
pass us, but I do hear thunder.
So I'm thinking dinner
tonight inside.
- Okay.
- Pull and see if it
all comes off.
- Why would I do that?
- 'Cause it'd be quicker.
Then you don't have to
lean it on down and stuff.
- So we're doing dinner at nine.
- At nine. Okay.
So tonight for dinner,
Carol requested Italian
for her birthday and white cake
with white frosting.
I'm not a ----ing cake person.
Can I use this cup for a while?
- Yeah.
- Just to measure.
Oh, man, cake, is not
at all my specialty.
Okay.
It's coming.
- Joao seems happy.
How's it work with
him this time?
- It's not bad. - Yeah?
- Let's wait till we go out.
- Yeah.
- What up?
- Joao...
- Yeah.
Hey, how you do, mate?
- Good.
Just been tossing
the salad flat stick.
The salad, that is--
- Oh, my God!
I thought you--
- Oh my God!
- We were all, like what?
- Here you go, lovely lady.
- Thank you.
- You bring it up like that.
- Good job, girls.
- Oh, this form of ham has to
be sliced with a special tool.
- Where's the ham?
- I won't be able
to slice it that thin.
- Shall we try to slice it?
Let's try.
- I'm not a butcher, okay?
- Give me your cutting board.
My father was in
the meat business.
So we would slaughter the cow,
skin it,
hang it for two weeks
in a cooler.
We made sausage.
We were work horses.
We don't give up!
You want the ham,
we're gonna get the ham.
- Our Captain can do everything.
- I grew up working hard.
- Second one is like perfect.
- Look how thin that is!
- That's perfect.
- Isn't it?
Cutting that ham is just like
being back in the meat shop,
which I never liked.
Look at that.
- That's perfect.
Thank you.
- I'm happy I could
contribute to this!
This really made my night.
- Looks okay?
- Yeah.
- Let's get that tender
this side.
- Don't forget my cocktail.
- Can I try
a piece of your cake?
- Yeah, sure.
- Cake?
Cake?
- Mm...
- That's really nice.
- That's yum.
- What flavor is it?
- I put some vanilla into it.
- I think I just bit
into some baking powder.
- It's got a strong
baking powder aftertaste.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
- Oh, it's really--
- Really strong.
- Your cake is baking soda
in cake form.
It's disgusting.
- Is the frosting ready?
- I'm doing it now.
- ----ing...
Have you got anything
to back up
if it still tastes like that?
I don't think
we should serve that.
I just cannot, once again,
serve that to guests.
- Well, I wouldn't say
it's that strong, strong.
I've tried much stronger.
I believe she thinks
she's very professional
and she's doing
her job 100% right.
Okay, let you
think like that.
[ laughs ]
If a donkey thinks
he's a unicorn,
you won't go and tell him, no,
you are a donkey, right?
So let you think like that.
- Sh--. Hi, Sandy.
- Hi.
- Could I grab you for a minute?
I'm think Hannah gave a piece
to the Captain to try.
- The cake has such a
strong taste of baking soda
that my stomach churned.
- I cannot not serve it.
I need to give a cake.
- Just wait.
- Wow.
Oh, my God, so bad.
- Yeah.
- We're in trouble.
- Wow, so bad.
- Wow, so bad.
Okay, I gotta handle this.
Okay, thank you.
Okay, thank you.
- Thanks, Sandy.
- A lot of chefs are good
at cooking, but not baking.
But to be a yacht chef,
you have to do both.
I really need to sit her down,
but not in the middle
of a charter.
I need her to focus on the food
and put out a good meal
for the guests.
- This is what love looks like.
- Do you think we have time
to bake another cake right now?
- What about cupcakes?
Cupcakes bake so fast.
It takes eight minutes.
- Can you do that?
Because I need to finish that.
- The last boat I worked on,
I was the chef.
I've cooked for 14 people
on a 45-foot Bavaria
and put out a beautiful
----ing meal.
There's no excuse.
Okay, I need baking powder.
- What are we doing?
- I need vanilla.
- Baking soda?
- Cupcake.
Yeah, but I'm not gonna
put as much as you did.
- I didn't put much.
- Cupcakes?
- Super easy, super quick.
They'll bake really fast.
- Okay.
- Baking is in my blood.
My mom's a pastry chef.
Like I got this.
- Maybe we bake it in one tray
so it looks like a cake
and put icing on it.
- Yeah, let's do that.
I need eggs, I need a bowl,
butter, milk.
- Anastasia's
gonna make something.
- That's great.
Okay, thank you.
- Thanks.
- Two cups granulated sugar.
- Forward a bit
and then through.
- Yeah.
- Hannah banana.
- How are you?
- Good. Thank you for this.
This is like, wow.
- It's your birthday.
- She deserves it.
- It's really pretty.
- I don't know, if there
was cream on top.
I wouldn't feel it
to be honest.
- I think you would.
You like cake batter?
- Yes!
Mm.
- Good?
- So good.
I like cake.
- Is the oven preheated?
- Yep.
Saved my life today.
- Teamwork.
- You get to sit
between the ladies.
- Damn straight.
- He's the lucky guy.
- Let's give it a rinse.
- I can never do that.
- It's just
the pressure now, man.
- That little bit more?
- That's not open the whole way.
- That tiny little bit.
- That took me a million times
to get it right last year.
- That's how you do
a proper good rinse.
- Why the main guy
doesn't eat tomatoes?
- Happy birthday.
- Thank you.
- Happy birthday, birthday girl.
- Are these ready?
- Yes.
- Thank you.
- Pardon me.
- So for your Italian feast,
you're starting with
a caprese salad.
And for yourself, you have
hama ham and melon.
Enjoy.
- Thank you.
- This melon is amazing here.
- It's really good.
- Fantastic.
- It's huge.
- It's really good, though.
- You can go into the cabins.
- Okay.
- Guys up when you're ready.
- I'm happy we were able
to bang out another cake.
- Honestly...
- Because there's no way
we could have served that.
- Thank God for your
diverse skillset.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Aesha, Aesha. Hannah.
- Go ahead.
- We need you in
the galley for service.
- Copy. Coming.
- No, no, it's fine, Colin.
Thank you for your help.
I will finish it.
- Let them dry.
Do you want to just
dry these?
- I got you, Miss Hannah.
- Thanks, bud.
- Oh my God.
- You know I'm standing
next to you.
- This is her very PG rated.
- Yeah, very PG rated.
- She gets a lot worse.
- I have a really dirty mind,
but I am not promiscuous at all.
Like I would so
much rather watch Gilmore Girls
than suck a dick.
[ chuckles ]
Oh, Lord.
- There you go.
- Thank you, love.
- For the main this evening,
a fresh truffle pasta.
- Mm.
- Thank you.
This is so good.
- Oh, my.
- So rich.
- So good.
- So beyond good.
- You definitely gotta
make that look better.
It can go out like that, okay?
- I will.
[bleep]
- John, do you want to do
Lady and the Tramp
just one noodle and
we both put it in our mouth?
- Oh, boy.
- Better.
- All crew, all crew,
can we come to the galley
to sing Happy Birthday?
- Okay.
Who will carry the cake?
- I think you should carry it
'cause you made it.
- Yeah.
- It's not me who made it.
You heard that.
- Happy Birthday to you.
And you have to say this
in front of everybody?
Don't give me
your fake smiles next time.
- ♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪
- Wow!
- ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
[ applause ]
- I mustn't cry.
Thank you so much.
- Thank you.
Happy birthday!
Chef, you pulled it off.
Good job.
- It was not me who made it,
so I shouldn't carry it.
- Oh, and thanks for my tea.
Cheers.
- Cheers.
- You can stay here and help
wash the dishes and then pop up.
- I hand do dishes and
then go back and forth?
- Yeah.
- You're so kind to me.
[ chuckles ]
- It looks great.
You pulled it off.
- No, you pulled it off.
- We pulled it off.
- Listen, I pulled it off.
- Wow.
White cake, white frosting.
- Oh, my God.
Best cake I've ever had.
- 'Cause it's still warm.
- Hey, does she do
the baking too?
It's delicious.
- Anastasia actually
baked the cake.
- Oh, I've got to thank her.
- She's a great gal.
- Aesha, it's so nice you
let the guests know
that it's not me
who made the cake.
- Well, I can't lie to them.
- Did they ask you?
- Yeah, they asked who made it.
- Okay.
- When there is a chef
on a boat,
who will ask who
cooked the food?
What a ----ing
stupid response it is.
- I just thought
she deserved it.
- Sure.
- First one to go.
- Goodnight.
- Right.
- See you in the morning.
- Goodnight.
Have a good sleep.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Of course, honey,
no problem.
Why do you have to say it,
you should carry the cake
'cause you're the one
who made it.
You ----ing know you were
the one who made it.
Why do you say it again
to make me feel even worse?
- I don't think that
was the intent.
This day was stressful.
- Hannah knows what
she's saying, believe me.
- Yeah.
- Mila and Hannah,
like two cats...
[ meowing, laughing ]
- Yeah.
That's exactly
what it is, yeah.
- Coming up...
- Classic Russian homophobe.
- Your mindset is
----ing warped.
- Good morning.
- Yes.
- Oh, another pretty table.
- I just got to get
a picture of the table.
- I'm starving.
- Let's throw down.
- Go with the buffet?
- Yeah.
- Little ovaries this morning?
[ chuckles ]
- Some of us have decided never
to eat a strawberry again.
- Just because of that.
- Because you're killing
all the baby strawberries?
[ laughs ]
- We didn't take it
that far, Aesha.
Typical you.
- We have a ham
and cheese omelet.
Aesha is so crazy
and inappropriate.
- I need to run to the bathroom
now and do some Googling.
- We love you.
- But the guests love her.
It's just happiness
and blow jobs.
[ chuckles ]
- Once again, Anastasia,
that cake was amazing.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, I'm happy you
guys liked it.
- You are so talented, kid,
really.
- Ready to haul anchor,
Captain Sandy?
- I am.
- Shall we take
the anchor ball down?
- As soon as anchor's up,
we take it down, yeah.
- I'm new to working on deck.
They're all experienced on deck.
I'm not.
I don't have a clue,
to be honest.
I'm just there
for the suntan.
- Anchor is at home,
anchor is at home.
Okay?
- Yep.
- Joao, you want to start
getting your lines ready.
Because we're gonna be there
in about 20 minutes.
- Yeah, copy.
- Hey.
- Do you mind if we
go over the lines?
Excuse my drawing.
Do you count them
one, two, three, four?
- Yes.
- Okay, perfect.
- Thank you.
- I've worked
with Captain Sandy,
but not in
the position I'm in.
I really need to prove that
under this type of pressure,
Sandy can trust me.
And I know that,
if she trusts me now,
she'll trust me
the whole season.
Obviously, okay, my sh--
drawing, but it makes.
- No, no, I get it.
So she'll call out
one, two, three, four.
So we're just gonna
have four lines up.
- People start working
on yachts
and they think they're
the ----ing tits.
You're a ----ing janitor
on a floating toilet.
- Make sure these fenders go up
before the wing sections open.
- Okay.
- But, yeah, you're my boss.
You tell me to do something,
I'm gonna do it, for sure.
- Just throw it all in.
We don't care if it
gets wrinkled, right?
- We are 3-0 from
the starboard breakwater.
- Yeah--
- We have a tender off
our stern.
I'm gonna tell them to move.
We have two vessels
coming out of the port.
We are 5-0.
- I need a distance
off my bow by hand, please.
- Seven meters to come astern,
still, seven meters.
- A little bit of a current.
- Another two meters
astern to the dock.
We are in line with the dock.
- This is a little tricky.
- Ready?
We can start releasing lines.
- You show me
how to do this next time?
- Maybe.
- Perfect. Come back.
- Perfect, mate.
Well done.
- Joao, you did that nicely.
- Thank you very much.
Team effort.
----ing nailed it.
[ laughs ]
- Little blue balls.
- The blue balls.
- Yeah, we'll just give
the boat a vacuum.
- And then we'll head out and
have a glass of wine tonight.
- Yay!
- I'm so excited.
It's kicking in
really quickly.
Where's this gonna go?
[ chuckles ]
- No, Aesha! No!
- I could get Jake to try it.
- I need a drink.
- Oh, my God.
- I don't want to leave.
- All crew to the dock.
- Charter one is done.
- Oh, I don't want to leave.
- Thanks very much.
See you soon.
- Thank you.
- Hope you had a good time.
- Thank you.
- Oh, I'm going.
- I'm crying.
- Thank you, man.
Pleasure to meet you.
- You're amazing. Thank you.
- Thank you.
Thank you again.
- Thank you.
This is for...
You guys were amazing.
You guys made this the greatest
vacation of my life.
Have a great season.
We love you, guys.
Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Thanks.
- It was nice to meet you.
- Man tears.
- I got choked up,
seriously, man.
- In Russia, man don't cry
even at their mom's funerals.
So it makes me feel
uncomfortable and weird.
- All right, let's get to work!
- Get that money,
get that money.
- All crew, meet in the main
salon for our tip meeting.
Oh, my God, I can't believe it.
- Yay!
- Chef, in spite
of your sickness,
the crew came together.
Thank you all for helping.
Interior, the way you took
charge in the galley, thank you.
I already know I can trust you.
I don't know about you yet.
- Yeah, Jack is good,
yeah, yeah.
- In total, we have
13,000 Euros.
Each person gets 1,175 Euros.
Isn't that great?
- Fantastic.
- For two days.
- I have never made
such a ridiculous
amount of money in two days.
Yay.
- So, cheers, everyone.
First charter.
I just hope they get easier.
- Cheers!
Turn the boat around
and then tonight,
you're all going to dinner.
Thank you.
- Okay. Next time,
I'm gonna start
doing something to get more.
- Maybe the guys need deeper Vs.
- Yeah. Deeper v-necks.
- Deeper v-necks.
- There's nothing
like a deep V.
- I wouldn't call this a deep V.
- Why would you want a deep V?
- It's a deep V that goes down.
- Okay.
- What are you talking about?
I don't really know much
about New Zealand chicks.
I just found out, I guess,
they're called Kiwis?
Is that because
they eat 'em a lot?
I don't get it.
Is that like a--
I don't like the--.
- It's like I opened the window
and [bleep] the night.
[ laughs ]
- All right, I'm out.
- Aw...
Stay!
- You looking forward
to tonight?
- I can't wait
to do my hair tonight.
- What?
Piss off! You joking?
- I just asked you.
Captain seems to be
liking your hair a lot?
- No, actually I got
in trouble for it.
She's not sure about me yet.
Now you're stressing too?
- Why wouldn't I?
- We are.
- Just not in the kitchen.
- Not on a charter, man,
not on a charter.
- Mila, Mila.
Meet me in the main salon.
Hey.
- Hi, Captain.
- Have a seat.
If that particular charter
liked the food,
that doesn't mean the
food's up to standard.
I'm sorry.
I know what the standard is.
I need to see your
plated service come out
as a chef that's been
trained in Paris.
These are yours.
I need this.
- Those aren't mine.
- I need the pasta to look
like this, not just in a bowl.
You know, I've been
doing this a long time.
I've had a lot of chefs.
- Mm-hmm.
- And I have to know
that you can do this.
And right now, I don't know.
- I need to see your plated
- I need to see your plated
service come out
as a chef that's been
as a chef that's been
trained in Paris.
I have to know
that you can do this.
And right now, I don't know.
You had a rough start.
I get it.
You were sick.
You're not now.
Let's do this.
- Let's do it.
- You got it, right?
Awesome.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, okay.
- I'm grateful to Captain
for her opinion and her words.
They make me feel even more
willing to perform.
- Okay, thank you.
- So after we fuel,
we can sort of like chill, eh?
- Yeah.
- Looks all right
in here, yeah?
- That's the last thing
I'm gonna do.
- Just a few dudes having a nap
and drinking beers.
- Oh, it is a compliment.
Gays are super like well
presented and nice folk.
- I can't wait to see her
with a little hair down.
What do you reckon?
Big swinging black hair.
- I think she's gonna be
a proper little minx.
- Absolutely.
- Oh, lovely [bleep].
- Sort of like a Greek goddess?
- You guys want more beers?
- Uh, yes, please.
- This is my dream coming true.
[ chuckles ]
This is what's happening.
- Who wanted a beer?
- Mila! Mila, fabulous!
I didn't even recognize you!
- Thank you.
- Do you guys know where
we're stepping out tonight?
- Oh, I'll step out with you.
- What?
- Oh, tonight's gonna be fun.
- I am ready to go!
Okay, let's go.
- Looking lovely, girls!
- I don't know what to do
with meself, to be honest.
- Come on, let me in.
You all get in the back seat.
- Lovely.
- I'd do everything not
to sit in that van!
- How was dinner last night?
- The experience or the food?
- Oh--
- I need to get a filter!
- No, you don't.
- She just needs some time
to warm up. First charter.
- Come on,
have some faith, Hannah.
- It's not like faith.
It's just being realistic.
Like if you come on a yacht
this size and you serve
what we just served, then
you're not a very good chef.
And that's reality.
Like I'm not trying
to be a bitch.
I think she's a nice person.
- I just noticed he has
a ring in his nose.
- No, it suits him just fine.
- I would have
questioned him as well.
- You did call me gay before.
- What the... Mila, you're a
classic Russian, a homophobe.
- I'm kidding!
- A Russian homophobe.
Oo-la-la.
Yes, we are. Yes, we are.
- I know you are.
- I don't want to see a man
kissing a man in front of me.
- I don't mind it.
It gets me going.
- In your home, you guys
can do whatever you want.
I don't want my son
to be growing up
and seeing two men
kissing each other.
- Why?
- And thinking this
is normal
because it is not
----ing normal!
It's not ----ing normal!
This is not normal!
- Oh my God, you're
such a homophobe.
- She's okay.
She's sweet, she is.
- She's a lovely person.
- What?
- You should just shut
the [bleep] up.
- Don't tell me to shut up.
- I will talk whenever
I want to talk.
- I'm gonna get out of this van.
- Get out of the van.
- And I will never speak to you
as a human being ever again.
- Look at you.
It's like some personal feelings
being touched here.
- Maybe I've been with men.
You don't know that.
- Okay.
- Maybe my friends are them.
- Okay, good for them.
All I said is I don't want
to see it like openly.
- And that it's not normal.
Think about what you just said.
- It's not normal. Yes.
- Rot talk.
Homosexual is
absolutely natural.
So [bleep] you.
Your opinion on gays shows
your opinion on humanity,
which is ---ing terrible.
And I don't support it.
- Why is a man ----ing
a man is normal?
Why is ----ing an animal then
is not normal?
- It's not the same species.
- Because we're not animals!
- Your mindset is ----ing warped
and you're a piece of sh--.
- Next time on
"Below Deck Med"...
- Yeah, Jack?
- What even is it?
- What the [bleep] is this?
- My friend, Dr. Berman.
- Vibrator lady.
- I gave you one
of these last year.
It learns your
likes and dislikes.
- Is this like a Fitbit?
- Mind your head there,
bud, please.
[ bleep ].
Oh, [ bleep ]
- Are you all right, bud?
[ groans ]
[ bleep ]
- I don't want to work with
a ----ing homophobic prick
who can't even cook.
- That French Crab is supposed
to taste like that?
- I wouldn't eat that
if you paid me.
- I'm taking care of this.
The crab is very fishy.
The shrimp is very slimy.
- Previously on
"Below Deck Med"...
- I'm in France.
[ speaking French ]
- Hello.
- How are you?
He's apologized.
I'm always up for douche bags
changing themselves.
- I'm looking forward
to witnessing you
create these amazing meals.
- Oh...
- She's Cordon Bleu
trained out of Paris.
It's the best training
in the world.
- Best hamburger ever.
- Really great flavor.
- Brooke is moving to Canada
or some sh--? I don't know.
- Yeah.
Brooke and I worked
so well together.
But I found out she cheated
on me, so what can I do?
- When did you get here, Sandy?
- You call me Captain.
- Captain Sandy?
- We're not friends.
- Okay. How would
my mates describe me?
Probably just call me a dickhead
if you want the honest truth.
- Started as a chef on a small
47-foot sailing boat.
- Oh, so you can cook.
- It doesn't matter
what I'm doing.
I'm gonna do it at 110%.
- Primary is Jay Robertson.
Jay has requested a beach
picnic on the second day.
- Where's the rest of the group?
- Nobody knows we're here.
- Rule 101.
Never leave the guests behind.
- Jay will be joined by his
best friend, John,
and his wife, Carol,
celebrating Carol's birthday.
[ retching ]
I'm sorry.
This is good to go.
- Are you gonna put
cheese on this or something?
Okay, what the [bleep]?
Like that's terrible.
- I've never seen a chef
put steaks into a microwave.
- Okay.
[ fog horn ]
- Are you cooking
the steak in the...
- No, no. I'm just heating it
up because it got too cold
because it was resting.
She looks at me like
I'm ----ing stupid.
Maybe Hannah should be a chef.
- You all done?
Okay, perfect.
- That was very good.
Thank you.
- What's the game plan?
- Everything will be loaded
Sea-Doo first.
Let's get started.
- We are ready for main? Yep.
- Thank you.
- Well done.
- This looks nice.
- I don't think a steak
can be nice
when it's been heated up
in a microwave.
- Here we go, sir.
- Wow, thank you.
- For your main course,
a filet with truffle sauce
on a bed of green beans.
- Thank you very much.
- Bon Appetit.
Enjoy.
- Mm.
- Wow.
- The filet is so good.
- That's saying something.
She's tough
to please on a steak.
- The only thing
I'm relieved with
is that the guests are
liking the food.
- Did they say anything
about the steaks?
- Yes. Carol said hers
was cooked perfectly.
- Thank you.
Of course, it makes
me feel happy.
It makes me feel good
and even better
because I was sick,
but I still managed it.
- You don't need the knife.
You can cut if with a fork.
- So good.
- You all right?
- Let me know what's good.
- Just put it astern and
just keep coming
until you come against the boat.
- Make me a taco?
Can I eat this?
- Yeah, sure.
Didn't make it too spicy because
not everyone likes spicy, so...
- Was that for the guests?
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
- My pleasure, Captain.
- Hey, Sandy.
- How were they?
- They're okay, and, um...
Me and Sandy had
quite a rough season
to say the least the last year.
- Get away from me.
- Okay.
- Go to your cabin.
- So the communication
with Sandy
this season
is my main priority.
I don't want Sandy
seeing the food
and then wondering why I didn't
go and say something to her.
- I said, "I'm not
sending it out."
- Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- You all right, mate?
- All right, Bud.
If you can do things
with efficiency
and work as a
team on everything,
then sh--'s easier.
But you've got to
do it properly.
So you have to like figure a
method out and like, oh, yeah.
Then you gotta tell other
people how to roll a towel.
And you just go, "My life
is absolutely meaningless."
Happy days, you know.
We're rolling towels ----ing
living the dream every day.
- Honestly, I think
they'll be going to bed soon.
- Yeah.
- Fabulous friends.
- Big Dog.
- Who's on watch on the bridge?
Because I want to go to bed.
- Sandy, that's me.
I'll come up now.
- Anchor watch schedule.
That's when I'm getting
my beauty sleep.
The last thing I want to be
doing is sitting on the bridge.
- Thank you.
- Cheers, thank you.
Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
- You have a good night.
- Goodnight.
- So I know that you're gonna
give me a copy of your schedule.
Just so I know when
I've got help and stuff.
So right now, there's
only one person on?
- Yes.
- Okay.
We might need
to change that.
- Okay.
- Okay, because he has
to just sit in the bridge.
- Yeah.
I'll stay up until
the guests go to bed.
- Okay.
- Perfect.
All right.
- Thank you, Joao.
- Cool, no worries.
Thank you.
- Ugh, gross.
- Are we going the right way?
- Oh, I'm gonna pee my pants.
- I guess.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight. Thank you.
- Nobody's up?
- No, you're the first one up.
Can I get you anything?
- Yeah, sure.
- Definitely too early
to be working.
- Good morning.
- Morning.
- We're gonna get
ready to leave.
I'm gonna start
the mains, yeah.
- Okay.
- Good morning.
- How are you?
- How was your dinner?
- Oh, the food
has been fantastic.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- No, seriously.
I mean it.
- I think they're just being
nice, but I am cautious.
All right. We're getting ready
to leave to your beach picnic.
- Looking forward to it.
- Hey, who has radio
number one?
Can you return it back
to the bridge? That's mine.
- Sorry, Captain.
I'll bring it up.
- Give me my radio.
You're really not winning
me over right now.
The milk run.
- Hell of a first day, mate.
- The wild hair look.
- I was just looking
after it for you,
making sure no
one else took it.
- All crew, all crew,
we are going to depart.
You can start
hauling the anchor.
- Copy.
Hauling anchor.
- Coming in now.
Anchor's at home,
anchor's at home.
- Great.
We're going in to gear.
- Can we go on the buffet?
- Yeah, you can just start.
- Here's some fruit.
- Beautiful.
- Hey, kid, morning, morning!
- So I was thinking
what I'll do today
because we've got the
beach picnic...
- Mm-hmm.
- While the guests are off,
you and I can sit down
and do like the
meal plan for tonight.
And I think that
will be about...
- Yeah, what time?
- Two, I reckon,
but then we have
to have the food
to go like at 1:30.
- 1:30.
- Yes.
- I still say those
bananas are plastic.
But what about strawberries?
Look at how many babies
it could have.
- All right, now we got
to look that up!
- I'm a lot smarter
than I appear.
But then they find out that
I've got a double science degree
and say that there is something
going on behind the smile.
- The outside are actually
the plant's ovaries!
- The plant's ovaries!
- Get ready to drop
the starboard anchor.
- Shackles up.
- Go ahead and lock it down.
I feel that we're good.
- Copy.
- That's not very clever.
Okay, good to go.
- Grey Goose,
margarita stuff,
lime juice,
fresh lime, clean ice.
And these are going
in the freezer.
- When I'm on break,
obviously you're lead deckhand.
It's all on you when I'm off.
It's like 1:30 that she
wants everything
to start going to
the beach setup.
You just prepare everything
at the stern there.
- Lead deckhand, wow.
- Cool, mate?
Yeah. Take control.
- I hate the pedanticness
and over the top bureaucracy
which are on
large motor yachts.
We'll just get all these chairs
and put them near the tender.
We're gonna start shipping stuff
over in like half an hour.
- Can I get you
anything for now?
- A water with lemon?
- Okay, sure.
- Got it.
- We got everything, right?
- Yep, that's everything.
- Let's go!
- I'm just driving
completely blind.
I don't really know
where I'm going.
- The only beach that you see
that's on your port side.
- Right there!
- When the guests request
something, you provide.
We're in the Mediterranean.
It isn't like you can go on a
public beach and have a picnic.
So you have to choose
places where it's private
because that's why they
want a beach picnic.
- Oh!
- Looks nice, right?
- I always end up stalking her.
I ----ing hate it.
- Don't look at her Instagram.
- As much as I can try and hide
how I feel about Brooke,
feelings still linger.
- Onwards and upwards!
- Hannah's brought
an energy that I never thought
I would see in her.
- You'll knock up a stewardess
at some stage, Joao.
- I'm planning on it
in the next six weeks.
- Get it in the hole.
- If I weren't on a boat,
I definitely wouldn't be
asking for club sandwich.
But we have to give
what the guests want.
- Yep.
- How long, chef?
- Seven minutes.
- Okay.
- Bim, bam, bot.
- This one, I'm just grating
the parmesan.
- Yay! Oh, they're so shaded!
- Thanks so much.
- We gotta go.
- Can we start carrying
these to the tender?
- The salads, please,
because this one I need to mark
which one is for which one.
- Salads, yes?
- Wait, wait, wait.
Sorry, Mila. How long until
all the food is ready?
- Two minutes.
- Okay.
- Two minutes.
- I just don't want it
sitting in the sun.
- You got two minutes.
- I don't know how you
are late
in making sandwiches
for five people.
Just ----ing have
the sandwiches done on time.
- Please don't rain.
- Please don't rain.
- It's taking forever.
- Our timing is so off.
- Them?
- No, the food.
- No bacon.
The rest are ready.
Thanks.
- Right. Let's get carrying.
Yeah.
- Jesus.
- Girls, girls, Hannah.
The food and beverages
are on their way.
- Perfect.
Thank you.
- And, girls, just to
confirm, you have extra...
wait, wait, wait.
Are we gonna cut it?
Like do we need to send a knife?
Well, we need to send
a knife then.
These are things that should not
be happening on a super yacht.
[ sighs ]
We have to go.
- Coming up...
- Okay, I hear thunder.
Get them back to the boat.
- Yeah, not good.
- Bloody hell!
- And later...
- You should just shut
the [bleep] up.
- Don't tell me to shut up.
- I would never speak to you
as a human being.
- Look at you.
It's like some personal feelings
being touched here.
- I'll give you a knife.
- I'll give you a knife.
Wait.
Thanks.
Thanks.
- And this is the dressing.
- Okay.
- Anything else?
- No, I don't think so.
- Thank you, guys.
[ sighs ]
- A little weeble wobble,
hobbling over here.
- Yeah.
- No tomato, no bacon.
- Look at you.
- Running!
- Here's rope.
- Are we allowed to go down?
- Yeah, you can come on down.
- Okay, here we go.
- Enjoy your beach picnic.
- Thank you.
- Thank you, Hannah.
- We're gonna turn around.
- Hannah, can you give me like
a 10-minute warning
before the guests come?
- The guests are coming now.
- Oh, ----ing kidding me?
Tumblers.
- I have another bowl here if
you need.
- Oh, yes, please!
- This is gonna be so cool.
- You want everything
behind the bar?
- Yeah, take those two bags.
- Be very careful.
It's very rocky.
Be careful.
- Hello.
Welcome to lunch!
- All right.
- With those sandwiches,
there are some with no tomato
and some with no bacon.
- Perfect.
- Who would like a drink?
- I'll have a margarita.
- Yeah, sure.
- Lot of ice.
- I got you.
- Really good.
- Oh, my God. She listens.
It's a miracle.
I'm happy that Anastasia's a
strong third steward so far.
It's been a little bit testy
the past few years.
- I'm not super detail-oriented.
- It's just so unfair
this is happening to me.
- And then silver service .
- I don't remember writing that.
I honestly do not.
- The cabins are
really good, babe.
- Okay, I'm happy to hear that.
I like being the best,
no matter if
it's cleaning a toilet
or preparing a five-course meal
for charter guests.
If anything, it'll get better.
- Thank you so much.
- Yeah, no problem.
You live in France?
- How's that going
for you so far?
- So far, so good.
- Oh, you gotta be -------
kidding me. Sh--.
Hello, hello, Aesha?
I think the tequila
got left behind.
[ sighs ]
- I have so many balls in
the air at the moment.
I'm not surprised I dropped one.
There you go.
Thank you.
- Okay.
- This is why on a yacht,
you really need everyone
to be able to do their job.
- Oh, it just gets worse.
- Sunny, Sunny, I'm just going
to drop off some tequila.
- Thank you.
They're coming with it.
- Okay.
- Not good.
- The tequila was left
on the boat.
So they're zooming it over now.
- You know how to own it.
It's a good quality.
- Oh, thanks.
- It really is.
- How big's the bottle?
Just chuck it to me.
Good.
Joao is like Aqua Man.
Just coming in,
he has the goods,
he's saving the day...
Oof!
[ glass breaks ]
And then I ruin it.
I don't know why I would try and
catch both of them in one hand.
- Oh, no, what are you doing?
- Here. Take this.
- This one came
by Camp Pendleton.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, we're good, we're good.
- Bottle broke.
- Well, he tossed them and...
- There you go.
- Well, I hope that tastes good.
- Thank you, love.
- How you doing?
- Good, good.
Doing the dinner.
- Potatoes?
- Yeah.
My favorite.
Maybe it'll go up.
I hope so.
- Someone ask Captain Sandy if
she wants a little cup of tea.
Get meself in the good book.
- Yeah.
Get yourself on her good side.
- I'll get in
Captain Sandy's good books
'cause I don't think
she's seen me
work very hard
since I been onboard.
- Is that my tea?
- It is.
- Oh, thank you.
- See if it's up to
your high standards.
I'm English.
Obviously, I'm gonna make
the best tea onboard.
- Mm.
- Goes down like
a little roll of silk.
[ chuckles ]
- This is delicious.
This is how I'm gonna drink
my tea every afternoon.
- From now on.
- Let's sit outside.
- So food tonight was
a request for Italian.
- Yep.
- I'm thinking
caprese salad.
- Okay, so that's a salad.
- Yes, and I'm thinking to
give them prosciutto melon
or something like that.
- Yes.
- Okay.
- Because I won't be able
to slice it properly.
- Okay, so caprese salad...
- Black truffle pasta.
with real truffles,
- And then you're thinking
you can do the cake?
- I'll try, yeah.
- I totally have
your back, okay?
- Okay.
I hate fake people.
[ chuckles ]
I believe Hannah is fake.
- Good.
- Great.
- This is so embarrassing.
Okay, this is by no
means your birthday cake.
Because it's brownies.
- Make a wish.
He's still here.
[ laughs ]
- No, I love good brownies.
- The temperature's dropped
quite dramatically now.
We'll be ready to cover.
- Okay, I hear thunder.
I think we should get them
back to the boat.
- Yeah, absolutely, yep.
- Okay.
- Nothing like weather
to ruin a holiday.
- Before we get caught in the
storm, you want some more?
- No, I'm good, honey.
- Jack and Travis, okay,
start covering up everything.
- Copy that.
- Bloody hell!
- See that lightning?
- Oh, it comes in fast,
doesn't it?
- Coming up...
- I think I just bit
into some baking powder.
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, it's really...
- Yeah, really strong.
- So bad.
- Bloody hell!
- Aesha, Aesha. Hanna.
- We're coming over now.
Joao will help you pack up.
Then we'll get the guests back
to the boat immediately.
- Perfect.
Thank you so much.
The tenders are coming
now to pick you guys up.
- Perfect!
- There you go.
- Carol, all set?
- Thanks so much.
- Hey, you gotta move faster.
- Yeah.
- Okay. We got a storm coming.
- I'll leave that out
of the way for now.
- That was quick!
[ laughs ]
- I loved all the rocks.
- We don't want you getting
struck by lightning.
- Thank you, Joao.
- Thank you.
- Bring that in.
- Okay.
- How long have
you got to cover?
- I gotta worry
about maneuvering.
I'm not worrying about covering.
- Colin, I'm on my way back.
Try and get as much stuff
as we can together.
- Let me just deflate this.
- No, don't.
Just bring it in.
- Things basically ready to go.
I just have to take
the umbrellas down.
- #crazy!
- #rough!
- Here we go.
- Thank you.
- Wow.
- You're welcome.
- Thanks, hon.
- Oh, yes.
Crew, crew deck, crew,
can we get one more on
the swim platform, please?
- Certainly.
Pass this to Jack, then.
Let it out a bit.
- You're looking good.
- Hey, I'll do it with style.
- Can we serve the caprese
on those big golden plates?
[ chuckles ]
Come on, let's nip out.
I'm just gonna put these poles
and stuff away.
- He's not on break, is he?
- I think so.
I think he goes off
at six 'till 10, right?
- Me and Jack have
an understanding.
I'm never gonna rat him out.
- Jack? Jack? Joao.
- Yeah, yeah. Yeah, go ahead.
- What you up to, bud?
- Nothing much.
- Do you want to come
and help us work?
- Yeah. Where are you?
- We're on the stern, working.
- What's up, mate?
- Yeah, what's happening, bro?
- I'm ready, mate. I'm ready.
I'm not gonna stand
in the rain, though.
- Yeah, you are,
if you need to.
- [ feedback ]
- Ah, [bleep].
- You would think,
as an engineer,
he'd be more efficient.
Is he just lazy?
As a leader, I need to figure
out what motivates Jack.
You talk more sh-- than work,
that's for sure, man.
- Cheers, honey.
- Sandy, Sandy?
Hannah.
How's your weather app
looking for the next
kind of hour or so now.
- It looks like it's going to
pass us, but I do hear thunder.
So I'm thinking dinner
tonight inside.
- Okay.
- Pull and see if it
all comes off.
- Why would I do that?
- 'Cause it'd be quicker.
Then you don't have to
lean it on down and stuff.
- So we're doing dinner at nine.
- At nine. Okay.
So tonight for dinner,
Carol requested Italian
for her birthday and white cake
with white frosting.
I'm not a ----ing cake person.
Can I use this cup for a while?
- Yeah.
- Just to measure.
Oh, man, cake, is not
at all my specialty.
Okay.
It's coming.
- Joao seems happy.
How's it work with
him this time?
- It's not bad. - Yeah?
- Let's wait till we go out.
- Yeah.
- What up?
- Joao...
- Yeah.
Hey, how you do, mate?
- Good.
Just been tossing
the salad flat stick.
The salad, that is--
- Oh, my God!
I thought you--
- Oh my God!
- We were all, like what?
- Here you go, lovely lady.
- Thank you.
- You bring it up like that.
- Good job, girls.
- Oh, this form of ham has to
be sliced with a special tool.
- Where's the ham?
- I won't be able
to slice it that thin.
- Shall we try to slice it?
Let's try.
- I'm not a butcher, okay?
- Give me your cutting board.
My father was in
the meat business.
So we would slaughter the cow,
skin it,
hang it for two weeks
in a cooler.
We made sausage.
We were work horses.
We don't give up!
You want the ham,
we're gonna get the ham.
- Our Captain can do everything.
- I grew up working hard.
- Second one is like perfect.
- Look how thin that is!
- That's perfect.
- Isn't it?
Cutting that ham is just like
being back in the meat shop,
which I never liked.
Look at that.
- That's perfect.
Thank you.
- I'm happy I could
contribute to this!
This really made my night.
- Looks okay?
- Yeah.
- Let's get that tender
this side.
- Don't forget my cocktail.
- Can I try
a piece of your cake?
- Yeah, sure.
- Cake?
Cake?
- Mm...
- That's really nice.
- That's yum.
- What flavor is it?
- I put some vanilla into it.
- I think I just bit
into some baking powder.
- It's got a strong
baking powder aftertaste.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
- Oh, it's really--
- Really strong.
- Your cake is baking soda
in cake form.
It's disgusting.
- Is the frosting ready?
- I'm doing it now.
- ----ing...
Have you got anything
to back up
if it still tastes like that?
I don't think
we should serve that.
I just cannot, once again,
serve that to guests.
- Well, I wouldn't say
it's that strong, strong.
I've tried much stronger.
I believe she thinks
she's very professional
and she's doing
her job 100% right.
Okay, let you
think like that.
[ laughs ]
If a donkey thinks
he's a unicorn,
you won't go and tell him, no,
you are a donkey, right?
So let you think like that.
- Sh--. Hi, Sandy.
- Hi.
- Could I grab you for a minute?
I'm think Hannah gave a piece
to the Captain to try.
- The cake has such a
strong taste of baking soda
that my stomach churned.
- I cannot not serve it.
I need to give a cake.
- Just wait.
- Wow.
Oh, my God, so bad.
- Yeah.
- We're in trouble.
- Wow, so bad.
- Wow, so bad.
Okay, I gotta handle this.
Okay, thank you.
Okay, thank you.
- Thanks, Sandy.
- A lot of chefs are good
at cooking, but not baking.
But to be a yacht chef,
you have to do both.
I really need to sit her down,
but not in the middle
of a charter.
I need her to focus on the food
and put out a good meal
for the guests.
- This is what love looks like.
- Do you think we have time
to bake another cake right now?
- What about cupcakes?
Cupcakes bake so fast.
It takes eight minutes.
- Can you do that?
Because I need to finish that.
- The last boat I worked on,
I was the chef.
I've cooked for 14 people
on a 45-foot Bavaria
and put out a beautiful
----ing meal.
There's no excuse.
Okay, I need baking powder.
- What are we doing?
- I need vanilla.
- Baking soda?
- Cupcake.
Yeah, but I'm not gonna
put as much as you did.
- I didn't put much.
- Cupcakes?
- Super easy, super quick.
They'll bake really fast.
- Okay.
- Baking is in my blood.
My mom's a pastry chef.
Like I got this.
- Maybe we bake it in one tray
so it looks like a cake
and put icing on it.
- Yeah, let's do that.
I need eggs, I need a bowl,
butter, milk.
- Anastasia's
gonna make something.
- That's great.
Okay, thank you.
- Thanks.
- Two cups granulated sugar.
- Forward a bit
and then through.
- Yeah.
- Hannah banana.
- How are you?
- Good. Thank you for this.
This is like, wow.
- It's your birthday.
- She deserves it.
- It's really pretty.
- I don't know, if there
was cream on top.
I wouldn't feel it
to be honest.
- I think you would.
You like cake batter?
- Yes!
Mm.
- Good?
- So good.
I like cake.
- Is the oven preheated?
- Yep.
Saved my life today.
- Teamwork.
- You get to sit
between the ladies.
- Damn straight.
- He's the lucky guy.
- Let's give it a rinse.
- I can never do that.
- It's just
the pressure now, man.
- That little bit more?
- That's not open the whole way.
- That tiny little bit.
- That took me a million times
to get it right last year.
- That's how you do
a proper good rinse.
- Why the main guy
doesn't eat tomatoes?
- Happy birthday.
- Thank you.
- Happy birthday, birthday girl.
- Are these ready?
- Yes.
- Thank you.
- Pardon me.
- So for your Italian feast,
you're starting with
a caprese salad.
And for yourself, you have
hama ham and melon.
Enjoy.
- Thank you.
- This melon is amazing here.
- It's really good.
- Fantastic.
- It's huge.
- It's really good, though.
- You can go into the cabins.
- Okay.
- Guys up when you're ready.
- I'm happy we were able
to bang out another cake.
- Honestly...
- Because there's no way
we could have served that.
- Thank God for your
diverse skillset.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Aesha, Aesha. Hannah.
- Go ahead.
- We need you in
the galley for service.
- Copy. Coming.
- No, no, it's fine, Colin.
Thank you for your help.
I will finish it.
- Let them dry.
Do you want to just
dry these?
- I got you, Miss Hannah.
- Thanks, bud.
- Oh my God.
- You know I'm standing
next to you.
- This is her very PG rated.
- Yeah, very PG rated.
- She gets a lot worse.
- I have a really dirty mind,
but I am not promiscuous at all.
Like I would so
much rather watch Gilmore Girls
than suck a dick.
[ chuckles ]
Oh, Lord.
- There you go.
- Thank you, love.
- For the main this evening,
a fresh truffle pasta.
- Mm.
- Thank you.
This is so good.
- Oh, my.
- So rich.
- So good.
- So beyond good.
- You definitely gotta
make that look better.
It can go out like that, okay?
- I will.
[bleep]
- John, do you want to do
Lady and the Tramp
just one noodle and
we both put it in our mouth?
- Oh, boy.
- Better.
- All crew, all crew,
can we come to the galley
to sing Happy Birthday?
- Okay.
Who will carry the cake?
- I think you should carry it
'cause you made it.
- Yeah.
- It's not me who made it.
You heard that.
- Happy Birthday to you.
And you have to say this
in front of everybody?
Don't give me
your fake smiles next time.
- ♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪
- Wow!
- ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
[ applause ]
- I mustn't cry.
Thank you so much.
- Thank you.
Happy birthday!
Chef, you pulled it off.
Good job.
- It was not me who made it,
so I shouldn't carry it.
- Oh, and thanks for my tea.
Cheers.
- Cheers.
- You can stay here and help
wash the dishes and then pop up.
- I hand do dishes and
then go back and forth?
- Yeah.
- You're so kind to me.
[ chuckles ]
- It looks great.
You pulled it off.
- No, you pulled it off.
- We pulled it off.
- Listen, I pulled it off.
- Wow.
White cake, white frosting.
- Oh, my God.
Best cake I've ever had.
- 'Cause it's still warm.
- Hey, does she do
the baking too?
It's delicious.
- Anastasia actually
baked the cake.
- Oh, I've got to thank her.
- She's a great gal.
- Aesha, it's so nice you
let the guests know
that it's not me
who made the cake.
- Well, I can't lie to them.
- Did they ask you?
- Yeah, they asked who made it.
- Okay.
- When there is a chef
on a boat,
who will ask who
cooked the food?
What a ----ing
stupid response it is.
- I just thought
she deserved it.
- Sure.
- First one to go.
- Goodnight.
- Right.
- See you in the morning.
- Goodnight.
Have a good sleep.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Of course, honey,
no problem.
Why do you have to say it,
you should carry the cake
'cause you're the one
who made it.
You ----ing know you were
the one who made it.
Why do you say it again
to make me feel even worse?
- I don't think that
was the intent.
This day was stressful.
- Hannah knows what
she's saying, believe me.
- Yeah.
- Mila and Hannah,
like two cats...
[ meowing, laughing ]
- Yeah.
That's exactly
what it is, yeah.
- Coming up...
- Classic Russian homophobe.
- Your mindset is
----ing warped.
- Good morning.
- Yes.
- Oh, another pretty table.
- I just got to get
a picture of the table.
- I'm starving.
- Let's throw down.
- Go with the buffet?
- Yeah.
- Little ovaries this morning?
[ chuckles ]
- Some of us have decided never
to eat a strawberry again.
- Just because of that.
- Because you're killing
all the baby strawberries?
[ laughs ]
- We didn't take it
that far, Aesha.
Typical you.
- We have a ham
and cheese omelet.
Aesha is so crazy
and inappropriate.
- I need to run to the bathroom
now and do some Googling.
- We love you.
- But the guests love her.
It's just happiness
and blow jobs.
[ chuckles ]
- Once again, Anastasia,
that cake was amazing.
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, I'm happy you
guys liked it.
- You are so talented, kid,
really.
- Ready to haul anchor,
Captain Sandy?
- I am.
- Shall we take
the anchor ball down?
- As soon as anchor's up,
we take it down, yeah.
- I'm new to working on deck.
They're all experienced on deck.
I'm not.
I don't have a clue,
to be honest.
I'm just there
for the suntan.
- Anchor is at home,
anchor is at home.
Okay?
- Yep.
- Joao, you want to start
getting your lines ready.
Because we're gonna be there
in about 20 minutes.
- Yeah, copy.
- Hey.
- Do you mind if we
go over the lines?
Excuse my drawing.
Do you count them
one, two, three, four?
- Yes.
- Okay, perfect.
- Thank you.
- I've worked
with Captain Sandy,
but not in
the position I'm in.
I really need to prove that
under this type of pressure,
Sandy can trust me.
And I know that,
if she trusts me now,
she'll trust me
the whole season.
Obviously, okay, my sh--
drawing, but it makes.
- No, no, I get it.
So she'll call out
one, two, three, four.
So we're just gonna
have four lines up.
- People start working
on yachts
and they think they're
the ----ing tits.
You're a ----ing janitor
on a floating toilet.
- Make sure these fenders go up
before the wing sections open.
- Okay.
- But, yeah, you're my boss.
You tell me to do something,
I'm gonna do it, for sure.
- Just throw it all in.
We don't care if it
gets wrinkled, right?
- We are 3-0 from
the starboard breakwater.
- Yeah--
- We have a tender off
our stern.
I'm gonna tell them to move.
We have two vessels
coming out of the port.
We are 5-0.
- I need a distance
off my bow by hand, please.
- Seven meters to come astern,
still, seven meters.
- A little bit of a current.
- Another two meters
astern to the dock.
We are in line with the dock.
- This is a little tricky.
- Ready?
We can start releasing lines.
- You show me
how to do this next time?
- Maybe.
- Perfect. Come back.
- Perfect, mate.
Well done.
- Joao, you did that nicely.
- Thank you very much.
Team effort.
----ing nailed it.
[ laughs ]
- Little blue balls.
- The blue balls.
- Yeah, we'll just give
the boat a vacuum.
- And then we'll head out and
have a glass of wine tonight.
- Yay!
- I'm so excited.
It's kicking in
really quickly.
Where's this gonna go?
[ chuckles ]
- No, Aesha! No!
- I could get Jake to try it.
- I need a drink.
- Oh, my God.
- I don't want to leave.
- All crew to the dock.
- Charter one is done.
- Oh, I don't want to leave.
- Thanks very much.
See you soon.
- Thank you.
- Hope you had a good time.
- Thank you.
- Oh, I'm going.
- I'm crying.
- Thank you, man.
Pleasure to meet you.
- You're amazing. Thank you.
- Thank you.
Thank you again.
- Thank you.
This is for...
You guys were amazing.
You guys made this the greatest
vacation of my life.
Have a great season.
We love you, guys.
Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Thanks.
- It was nice to meet you.
- Man tears.
- I got choked up,
seriously, man.
- In Russia, man don't cry
even at their mom's funerals.
So it makes me feel
uncomfortable and weird.
- All right, let's get to work!
- Get that money,
get that money.
- All crew, meet in the main
salon for our tip meeting.
Oh, my God, I can't believe it.
- Yay!
- Chef, in spite
of your sickness,
the crew came together.
Thank you all for helping.
Interior, the way you took
charge in the galley, thank you.
I already know I can trust you.
I don't know about you yet.
- Yeah, Jack is good,
yeah, yeah.
- In total, we have
13,000 Euros.
Each person gets 1,175 Euros.
Isn't that great?
- Fantastic.
- For two days.
- I have never made
such a ridiculous
amount of money in two days.
Yay.
- So, cheers, everyone.
First charter.
I just hope they get easier.
- Cheers!
Turn the boat around
and then tonight,
you're all going to dinner.
Thank you.
- Okay. Next time,
I'm gonna start
doing something to get more.
- Maybe the guys need deeper Vs.
- Yeah. Deeper v-necks.
- Deeper v-necks.
- There's nothing
like a deep V.
- I wouldn't call this a deep V.
- Why would you want a deep V?
- It's a deep V that goes down.
- Okay.
- What are you talking about?
I don't really know much
about New Zealand chicks.
I just found out, I guess,
they're called Kiwis?
Is that because
they eat 'em a lot?
I don't get it.
Is that like a--
I don't like the--.
- It's like I opened the window
and [bleep] the night.
[ laughs ]
- All right, I'm out.
- Aw...
Stay!
- You looking forward
to tonight?
- I can't wait
to do my hair tonight.
- What?
Piss off! You joking?
- I just asked you.
Captain seems to be
liking your hair a lot?
- No, actually I got
in trouble for it.
She's not sure about me yet.
Now you're stressing too?
- Why wouldn't I?
- We are.
- Just not in the kitchen.
- Not on a charter, man,
not on a charter.
- Mila, Mila.
Meet me in the main salon.
Hey.
- Hi, Captain.
- Have a seat.
If that particular charter
liked the food,
that doesn't mean the
food's up to standard.
I'm sorry.
I know what the standard is.
I need to see your
plated service come out
as a chef that's been
trained in Paris.
These are yours.
I need this.
- Those aren't mine.
- I need the pasta to look
like this, not just in a bowl.
You know, I've been
doing this a long time.
I've had a lot of chefs.
- Mm-hmm.
- And I have to know
that you can do this.
And right now, I don't know.
- I need to see your plated
- I need to see your plated
service come out
as a chef that's been
as a chef that's been
trained in Paris.
I have to know
that you can do this.
And right now, I don't know.
You had a rough start.
I get it.
You were sick.
You're not now.
Let's do this.
- Let's do it.
- You got it, right?
Awesome.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, okay.
- I'm grateful to Captain
for her opinion and her words.
They make me feel even more
willing to perform.
- Okay, thank you.
- So after we fuel,
we can sort of like chill, eh?
- Yeah.
- Looks all right
in here, yeah?
- That's the last thing
I'm gonna do.
- Just a few dudes having a nap
and drinking beers.
- Oh, it is a compliment.
Gays are super like well
presented and nice folk.
- I can't wait to see her
with a little hair down.
What do you reckon?
Big swinging black hair.
- I think she's gonna be
a proper little minx.
- Absolutely.
- Oh, lovely [bleep].
- Sort of like a Greek goddess?
- You guys want more beers?
- Uh, yes, please.
- This is my dream coming true.
[ chuckles ]
This is what's happening.
- Who wanted a beer?
- Mila! Mila, fabulous!
I didn't even recognize you!
- Thank you.
- Do you guys know where
we're stepping out tonight?
- Oh, I'll step out with you.
- What?
- Oh, tonight's gonna be fun.
- I am ready to go!
Okay, let's go.
- Looking lovely, girls!
- I don't know what to do
with meself, to be honest.
- Come on, let me in.
You all get in the back seat.
- Lovely.
- I'd do everything not
to sit in that van!
- How was dinner last night?
- The experience or the food?
- Oh--
- I need to get a filter!
- No, you don't.
- She just needs some time
to warm up. First charter.
- Come on,
have some faith, Hannah.
- It's not like faith.
It's just being realistic.
Like if you come on a yacht
this size and you serve
what we just served, then
you're not a very good chef.
And that's reality.
Like I'm not trying
to be a bitch.
I think she's a nice person.
- I just noticed he has
a ring in his nose.
- No, it suits him just fine.
- I would have
questioned him as well.
- You did call me gay before.
- What the... Mila, you're a
classic Russian, a homophobe.
- I'm kidding!
- A Russian homophobe.
Oo-la-la.
Yes, we are. Yes, we are.
- I know you are.
- I don't want to see a man
kissing a man in front of me.
- I don't mind it.
It gets me going.
- In your home, you guys
can do whatever you want.
I don't want my son
to be growing up
and seeing two men
kissing each other.
- Why?
- And thinking this
is normal
because it is not
----ing normal!
It's not ----ing normal!
This is not normal!
- Oh my God, you're
such a homophobe.
- She's okay.
She's sweet, she is.
- She's a lovely person.
- What?
- You should just shut
the [bleep] up.
- Don't tell me to shut up.
- I will talk whenever
I want to talk.
- I'm gonna get out of this van.
- Get out of the van.
- And I will never speak to you
as a human being ever again.
- Look at you.
It's like some personal feelings
being touched here.
- Maybe I've been with men.
You don't know that.
- Okay.
- Maybe my friends are them.
- Okay, good for them.
All I said is I don't want
to see it like openly.
- And that it's not normal.
Think about what you just said.
- It's not normal. Yes.
- Rot talk.
Homosexual is
absolutely natural.
So [bleep] you.
Your opinion on gays shows
your opinion on humanity,
which is ---ing terrible.
And I don't support it.
- Why is a man ----ing
a man is normal?
Why is ----ing an animal then
is not normal?
- It's not the same species.
- Because we're not animals!
- Your mindset is ----ing warped
and you're a piece of sh--.
- Next time on
"Below Deck Med"...
- Yeah, Jack?
- What even is it?
- What the [bleep] is this?
- My friend, Dr. Berman.
- Vibrator lady.
- I gave you one
of these last year.
It learns your
likes and dislikes.
- Is this like a Fitbit?
- Mind your head there,
bud, please.
[ bleep ].
Oh, [ bleep ]
- Are you all right, bud?
[ groans ]
[ bleep ]
- I don't want to work with
a ----ing homophobic prick
who can't even cook.
- That French Crab is supposed
to taste like that?
- I wouldn't eat that
if you paid me.
- I'm taking care of this.
The crab is very fishy.
The shrimp is very slimy.