Below Deck Mediterranean (2016–…): Season 4, Episode 1 - Pardon Your French - full transcript

A new boat, crew and location in this series that follows nine members of a crew who live and work aboard a 150-foot yacht. As the ship journeys through the Mediterranean, each episode features a new group of elite passengers.

- South of France is
a playground

for the wealthiest people
in the world.

[ screaming ]

- You have Cannes,
Saint-Tropez, Nice and Monaco.

- It's amazing.

- It's where everyone shows off.

Look at me.
Look how big my boat is.

- It's not about them.

It's about my competitive
spirit against another yacht.

- Sorry, guys. Would you
mind just taking a seat?

I don't want your food ruined.

I definitely feel
like last season

was not my best station.

Focus on service
this charter.

I just need to put my head down,
concentrate on my job.


Stay single.


- All right, Joao.
I want you to start calling it.

- Coming back as
Captain Sandy's bosun

is a huge honor for me.

I've given bosuns a whole
lot of sh--.

I'd better be prepared
to take it back.

- I believe female chefs
are a bit under-rated.

And I want to
change this opinion.

- The mozzarella's so good.
- It's so good.

- I want people to know
that I have my opinion

and I don't take sh--.

If you don't want
to discuss it with me,

you can cook everything
by yourself.

- I'm back to season just
to make that paper.

[ vocalizing ]

Now I'm in France and now I
feel like I'm a European guru.


What's the boyfriend's
ding-dong like?

- It's just a normal penis.

- Is it big?
- No.

- Oh...

- Because of the stupid
sh-- that I do,

people think that
I'm a complete idiot.

- Travis!

- But I like to prove
those people wrong.

- Travis, you're the best tender
driver I ever met in my life.

- I have an immigrant
work ethic.

It doesn't matter
what I'm doing.

I'm going to do it 110%.

I like yelling at people
and being in charge.

I got a B- minus once and
I was like, "My life is over!"

- Oh, my God!

- I'm really kind,
but let's just say

the last two charter seasons...

You will be off this boat
so fast--

...have hardened me.

We have a situation.

- Hey, you don't do that!

- Tell me they're ready to go.
That's your job.

- You definitely could have done
a better job, you [bleep].

- You should just shut
the [bleep] up.

- Don't tell me to shut up.

- I'm so sick of alcoholics!

- I'm dead serious.

Never touch another
crew member again.

- I can't do any more than this.

- Really think about it.
- That's not right.

- Your position's now redundant.

- I just want to go home!

- And I have to let you go.

[ ship horn blows ]

- Oh, my God.

The south of France is
my home away from home.

I actually
discovered it

when I was traveling around
Europe with my mom.

I went home and put into Google,

"What can I do speaking English
in the South of France"?

And yachting came up
and, voila.

I was pretty much
as insane as I am now.

- Hello.
- Hi.

- How are you?
- Good. How you going?

- Good. Have a seat.

- Back on Sirocco.
- Yeah.

I was based in France
for many years.

For me, it feels like home.

It's the yachting capital of
the western Mediterranean.

It's where everyone shows off.

It is a competition and

I want to beat
the best of the best.

You know,
we ended on a great note.

You really kicked it
in gear at the end.

- Last season, it was, like,

not smooth sailing
the whole time.

- Is Hannah back?
- I haven't seen anyone.

- Is she still on the boat?
- Have we gone a bit forward?

- I want to fire
her ----ing ass!

Get away from me.
- Okay.

I should have
communicated more,

like tell you how the girls
are going, anything, you know...

- Yeah, communication
is essential.

- Yeah.
- I want more people on service.

- Definitely start using
the deck crew a lot more.

- Because I don't want
to see someone get up

from the table looking
for the crew.

- Yeah.
- And I know you care.

And for me, that's important.
- Yeah.

- So, anyway, we have...

I like her.
- Okay.

Oh, she's really cute.
- Yeah.

And this one,
Anastasia is a chef.

- Knock, knock!
- I heard!

- How's it going, Captain Sandy?

- Hello.
- How are you?

- It's good. How you doing?
- Fancy seeing you guys here.

- The band's
back together again.

- My priority is to work.

And now that I'm bosun, I have
to work very close to Hannah.

- You guys are in
a great place, right?

- Yeah, yeah.
- Okay, good.

- In between last charter season
and this charter season,

Hannah and I have managed
to resolve our issues.

I'm not asking for ----ing

thunder[bleep] like you...

- Respect ----ing women,
you prick!

- Talk about materialistic.
- Excuse me?

I have come off a
bigger boat as bosun now

with a team of
five underneath me.

So I've had some
good experience.

- What I witnessed last year
is the reason you're back.

- I really appreciate
the opportunity.

- Make me proud.
- Will do.

- I don't want to say,
"Oh, my God, I made a mistake."

- Never. I promise that.

- Hi. How are you going?

- Mila. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you too.

You're not one of
my stewardesses.

- No, I'm actually the chef.

- Oh, the chef.
How are you?

- And you are?
- The chief stew.

- Okay, nice.
- Yes.

- I was born in Russia,
in Siberia.

When I was working part-time
in a restaurant,

I noticed that I really
enjoyed cooking.

People liked it.
People complimented.

And I started thinking
like why not?

I'm still young.
I can still change my direction.

So I went to live in Paris

and got a chance to work with
the best chefs in the world.

Well, hi.
- Hi.

- Captain?
- Yes.

- Nice to meet you, Captain.
- You too.

- First time I see
a captain like that.

- Boy, do you have
some training.

I'm looking forward
to witnessing you

create these amazing meals.

Chef Mila's credentials
excite me

because she's Cordon Bleu
trained out of Paris.

It's the best training in
the world and she's a female.

And I have high hopes.

- I'm getting a bit anxious now.

- Don't be nervous.
You're gonna be fine.

- Hi. Welcome aboard.
- Thank you. Travis.

- Captain Sandy.
- You too.

- Travis, Joao.
Pleased to meet you, man.

I'll show you where
your room is.

- Cool.

- You've just came off
a sailing boat now, yeah?

- I been working flat out
for the last two years.

- Yeah.
- How you doing?

- Hannah.
- Anastasia.

- Nice to meet you.
Welcome onboard.


- This is our chef, Mila.

- Hi.
- Hi. I'm Anastasia.

- Nice to meet you, Anastasia.
- Nice to meet you as well.

- Where are you from?
- I'm from Vermont.

- Hi.
- Hi, how are you?

- Hi. Aesha.

Nice to meet you.
- Where are you from?

- I'm Russian.

[ speaking Russian ]

- Nice. I was born in
the Republic of Georgia.

We moved to the states
when I was two years old.

And I grew up in
Burlington, Vermont.

- I started as a chef on a
small 47-foot sailing boat.

- Oh, so you can cook.
- Yes.

- My mom always says,
"If we were in Georgia,

you'd be married with like
three kids by now."

I'm like, "Thanks, Mom."

If you need any help at all,
you just let me know.

- Of course. Thank you.

- Hi. Hannah.
- Hey, nice to meet you.

- Are you my chiefy?
- I am your chiefy.

- I'm Jack, nice to meet you.
- Me too, yeah. How are you?

- I think you might be with me.
- Yeah?

- What's your name, sir?
- Jack Sully.

[ laughs ]

- You Irish or...
- From Liverpool. It's close.

Just across the water,
you're nearly there.

What's not to like?

- Do you wanna come with me
and pop upstairs?

- Yep.
- Okay.

- Dumb and dumber in one person.

- Hey!
- Hey.

- I said where's the door
in this place?

I definitely have
more confidence in myself

with last season under my belt.

- Own the bull!
Own the bull!

- I think Captain Sandy
really saw my work ethic

and she asked me back.

And it really means a lot to me.

- Take your luggage...
- Cool.

- Joao's down there.

- Oh, down there?
Okay, perfect.

- So exciting to be here.

- So you worked on Phoenix too?
- Mm-hmm.

It was the most intense boat
I've ever worked on in my life.

But it was good because
I hate being bored

and I like to have a challenge.

You've gotta push me really hard
to make me break.

If someone says they're tired
or something like that.

It's like shut the [bleep] up

and get into
a new industry then.

Go be like a waitress at a nine
to five café or something.

Here's amazing and we were like,
"No, we're gonna be up here."

- How are you brother?
- Good to see you.

- You too, man.
- You're with me, man.

Yeah. You know how we roll.
- Yes.

I'm really excited that
Joao's my bosun this year.

- Ease it through.
Oh, yeah.

- We have a hardcore bromance,
duderuses before uteruses.

- Oh, no!

Jesus Christ!

- The boat's in such
good condition.

- It was disgusting.

Every cabinet I opened
needs organize.

- Yeah.
Might get some sleep tonight.

- Yay.

- I think it's for doing real
weird sh-- in the shower.

- Yeah.

- I spent like six months
in New Zealand.

- What were you doing?

- I was on a boat there,
so we did like a refit.

- Oh, really?

- When did you
get here, Sandy?

Were you in the states
just before this?

- You call me Captain.
- Okay.

- Captain Sandy.
- Captain Sandy?

- We're not friends.
- Okay.

- Okay?
- Yes, Captain Sandy.

- Listen to that guy.

- As you wish.
- It's not a wish.

It's a command.

- How would my mates
describe me?

Probably just call me a dickhead
if you want the honest truth.

- Here we go. Do you wanna
jump into your uniform?

- Yep.
- Let's start up now.

[ coughing ]

- Do you wanna do top deck?
Bridge aft,

And then you do bridge forward.
I'll do--

- Okay.

- All crew, all crew, meet me in
the main salon for our meeting.

Welcome, everyone.

For me, I want you to feel
like you're a team.

I think we can do
a really great job.

Getting new crew,
never meeting you,

I love your hair.

I am jealous of it actually.

- I'm gonna tame it,
don't worry.

- You're gonna tame it.
- I'll get some product for you.

- And now we're gonna
introduce Casey,

he's the First Officer,

and our Chief Engineer,
which is Mike.

- Sweet.

- So here's the dealio.

Refer to me as Captain Sandy,
not Sandy.

There's a hierarchy.

The last two charter seasons,
I tried to show them

they could approach me
as a human being,

but it confuses them.

I don't want you to be
my first thought.

If I wake up thinking about you,

that's usually
your last day onboard.

This charter season,
I'm not taking any sh--.

Now they have to earn my trust
and they can thank

all the people
that came before them.

- Coming up...

- Are you all right?

- If there's one person
we really can't live without,

it's the chef.

[ retching ]

- I don't want you to
be my first thought.

If I wake up
thinking about you,

that's usually your
last day onboard.

- Scary...
[ chuckles ]

- It's not about all you guys
sitting around the table

while they're working their
butts off at dinner service.

I want you to feel
like you're a team.

And then tomorrow
we pick up charter.

- Yay.
- Yeah.

So, welcome aboard, everyone.
Let's get back to work.

- Thank you very much.
- Thank you.

- All crew, all crew,
provisions are on the dock.

- That's heavy. Ah!

- Whatever space is free,
we can use straight away.

- Yeah.
- Holy crap!

- So much.

- Who ordered that?

- Jesus Christ.

It's a very poorly
organized boat.

This is not something
I'm used to.

It's a very small storage space.
It's a pain in the ass.

- [bleep], this is insane.

- What should I carry on with?
- Just the master for now.

- Just taking a
little break, boss.

- Already, mate?

- Don't be straining
too hard on the first day.

- Ready to sit down?
- Um...

- Have you got time?
- Yeah, let's have a chat now.

- Okay, cool.

- It's a very quick turnaround

to join the bosun,
start the charter.

- Mate, there's got to be
too many things here.

There's not enough fridges.

- So we'll do a breakfast
special every morning.

- Fruit...
- Fruit...

- Meat...
- Cheese...

- Cheese, croissant.

- And I think I need to excuse
myself for the bathroom.

I'm sorry.
- No, don't be silly.

[ retching ]

- Where did you say
you were from?

- Oh, nice.
- Far from where you are.

- Yeah.

- I grew up outside
of Perth in a suburb.

And, like, it's got
the highest incarceration rate

in west Australia.

It's weird to see your friends
who were like just good people.

And then it's like,
oh, sick, they're in jail.

Addicted to the old meth.

Yeah, sailing is
basically the quickest way out.

- I don't mess around,
you know,

when I'm on
the window cleaning?

- Okay, you all right?
- No.

- I can't believe we've
got another crew member

that is sick on day
one of joining the boat.

If there's one person
we really can't live without,

it's the chef.

How do you like working?

- Okay. Go ahead.

- Jesus Christ.

I don't know why I ordered

that shrimp pasta
the night before.

I feel awful.

- Is she sick?
- Mm-hmm.

- Hopefully, she'll be
better by tomorrow.

- You can be Chief Stew
and I'll be Chef.

[ chuckles ]
- I'll make the toast.

- I was hoping to make
an impression of a chef

who's come to work
and do his job.

But my body can't even
accept water.

Cheeses and dairy
will go here.

- Up there, okay.

- I'm a Siberian Russian woman.

We are tough.

- Girls, girls?

Hannah, could you come to
the main salon, please?

- Deck team, deck team,
can you meet me at the bar now?

- Hello. This is suctioning
on my thighs.

I'll rep the camel toe
for everyone.

- So, welcome, guys.

You've had charter?
You've had charter?

- I've had charter experience,

but I'm not a deckhand,
I'm an engineer by trade.

- You'll be morning,
you'll be mid

and I'll be late.
- Mm-hmm.

- The big thing
is the communications.

- I work best if you are
very clear and direct.

If you show me how
to do it once,

I'm gonna do it exactly
the same way every time.

Even though I've done
like hundreds of charters,

I'm still like,
"what if they don't like me?"

"What if I break a glass?

What if I spill
something on them?"


I'd rather do it right
than do it wrong.

And you'd be like, oh,
what are you doing?

I am a perfectionist and
I am a people pleaser.

- Based on
everyone's experience,

I think you've got
the most, mate.

So you're gonna be lead deck.

If I'm not onboard,
you have say.

I want to tell you not
to screw the crew.

But that's entirely
up to you guys,

just as long as it
doesn't affect work, man.

- There's a lot of
ladies on here.

- Yeah. The poor boys, man.

There's so much
estrogen pumping.

- And we're all gonna
sync right up.

[ laughs ]

- Let's get some stuff together
and start cleaning up.

- That'll be a vegetable,
isn't it?

- Yeah. That'll be a vegetable.

- Sorry, guys,
I'm really feeling so bad.

I just literally
keep throwing up.

I've tried my best
not to show it.

I'm gonna go lay down.
I will continue.

- Yes, of course.

- I will wake up every...
what can I do about it?

- So have you kept in contact
with the other guys?

- Yeah.
Jamie's in Florida.

I'm sure you know
Brooke is moving to Canada

or some sh--.
I don't know.

- I spoke to her
a couple of days ago.

Didn't end too well, as usual.
- Yeah.

- Brooke and I threw ourselves
in the deep end.

I met her family, she met mine.

She came to the Zimbabwe, and
we worked so well together.

We really did.

Things seemed perfect, but I
found out she cheated on me.

I've changed so much,
it's quite scary.

- Well, it's for the better.

- I really, really loved her.

I want to make it work, even so,
but she didn't want to.

So what can I do?

- Hannah? Joao?

Let's meet in the main salon
for a preference sheet meeting.

- Coming.

- Hi. Sorry, Mila.

We're getting ready to do
the preference sheet meeting.

Do you think you could come out
for that?

Oh, sh--.

- How's it going?
- Good.

- Jesus Christ.

- There she is.

- You okay?
- Yeah.

- Our primary is Jay Robertson.

He's a luxury mortgage broker,
eligible bachelor.

- Why did you look at me?

[ laughs ]

- Jay will be joined
by his best friend, John,

and his wife, Carol.

John is looking forward to
celebrating Carol's birthday.

And they both are very excited
to try out the Sea-Doos.

- There'll be out in
the water every day.

- Rounding out this
group are his close friend,

Steve and Dana.

- Jay has requested a beach
picnic on the second day.

He'd like to explore one of
the towns along the coast.

- So we're gonna anchor off Nice

and he wants to go into
the old town of Nice.

- I'm sorry.

- Really hoping that
she feels better.

- The fact that Mila can't

even sit through a
preference sheet meeting,

and we pick up charter
guests in less than 24 hours,

is really scary.

- Cool! Thank you.
- Thank you.

Let's smash our first charter.
- Yeah.

- Coming up...

- So is the boat this way
or that way?

- That way.

- Do you know where
there's a supermarket?

- Where's the rest of the group?
- Nobody knows we're here.

- Rule 101.
Never leave the guests behind.

- There's a box of
broccoli there.

Don't know what you want
me to do with it.

- Broccoli?
- Broccoli.

- That, that, that and that.
All the beer.

- Hannah's pretty sexy,
you know, and then...

also rack city, so...

not bad.

[ chuckles ]

- All right.
That's all the liquor.

- Sweet guys.
Well done.

- We're basically done.
- Yeah.

- We did it!

- Sorry.
Just grabbing my phone.

[ speaking Russian ]

- No.
- Okay.

- What are you speaking?

- Russian.

- Do you speak Russian?
- Da.

- Whoa.

- What a day, man.
- That was a lot.

Let's grab a beer.
[ laughs ]

- I think I'm gonna go just
have a little stretch,

some yoga.
- Oh, nice.

- Hi, there.
- Hello.

That was a good day.

- Yeah, it was a good day.
- Very productive.

- You got a boo at home?
- [bleep], no.

- I think having a relationship
and yachting in general

is so ----ing hard.

Aesha the geisha,
will fellate ya.

- Sounds perfect.

- Growing up with very liberal
parents and four older brothers,

sex was just talked
about so openly.

I remember asking my mom
to describe what sodomy

is when I was like seven.

So I learned about butt sex.

If I don't see you
for more than seven days,

I am allowed to bang
other people.

- Oh, my God.

- Okay, I'm gonna go to bed.

- How are you?
- I'm very good, thanks.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

The thing I'm worried about
is that they both have

a lot more industry time
than I do.

I just hope that that
doesn't affect anything,

because I know how I was.

- We have to lower the anchor
to the water line.

Just let them know they should
check their brakes first.

- Let me explain.

- I'm just trying
to offer advice.

- How about you just shut your
mouth and you do your job?

- Don't tell me to
shut my mouth.

- You've just got to own your
position at the end of the day.

Like, Captain Sandy backs you.
- Yeah.

- Sure, you work hard.

Like we had our issues
last season.

Never once did I say you were
sh-- at your job.

- Yeah.

- I would have happily bet
my entire season's charter tips

that I would never go near
Joao again in my life.

But between seasons,
he's apologized.

And I'm always up for douchebags
changing themselves.

I'll see you.
- See you tomorrow.

Sweet dreams.
- Okay.

- It's beautiful out.

- Are you ready to smash it?

- I can hardly contain myself.

[ laughs ]
- Charter One, l'go.

- L'go.

- Morning.
- How you feeling?

- Okay. I can get you some help.

- Anastasia?
- Yes.

- That would be very helpful.
- Okay, I'll go get her.

I'm a little nervous,

but Anastasia has
experience as a chef.

And when you actually have
crew that have other skills,

you pull within your team.


I'm going to do everything
I can to support Mila.

The chef isn't
feeling that great.

- Oh, no...
- I think she's gonna need help.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- No problem.
- All right, thanks.

- Basically, as soon as
we get to the anchor spot,

whoever's on the bow, they'll
go straight on to the slide.

There'll be two people
in the stern

getting all the sh-- up.
- Yeah.

- I came here to help.

- Can you take those boxes?
- Yes.

- And sort out?

- I started cooking
at a very young age

because my mom,
she's a chef.

So I've kind of just always
been in the kitchen.

I became a yachting chef when
my boyfriend at the time

realized I could cook in a
galley without getting seasick.

And I was kind of like
[bleep] it, I'll try.

Oh, God.

- The boat's almost
in a good place.

- Huh. Excellent job.

- Thanks, Sandy.

- This looks great.

All crew,
all crew,

ETA for charter guests
is 30 minutes.

- Copy.

- Deck crew, deck crew,
change into uniform.

- Go and change quickly.

- Oh, you got the hairdryer!

It's getting all
heat-y in there.

- We have to do
something with your hair.

- You don't like it?

- It can't be hanging
in your face.

- Do you like it slicked back?
- Better.

All right, I see the guests.

- All right.

- Everybody needs
to come to the dock.

- Beautiful.

- Ooh, I never shaved
my legs, though.

- Here we go.

- Welcome.
- Hi.

- Thank you. I'm Jay.
- I'm your Captain. Sandy.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

- Hi. Hannah.
- Carol.

- Carol.
- Colin.

- We got the curly hair going.

- Yeah, I've got it
tied back at the moment.

- Welcome onboard Sirocco.

Hannah is going to show
you around the boat.

Then we'll head around to Nice.

- Sure.
- Great.

All right, we're ready.

- We'll leave it in
your hands, Captain.

- We'll get the luggage.

We go straight through this
door to the starboard side.

- Thank you so much.

- It's only three days,
isn't it?

- The Sirocco is
a gorgeous boat.

- It's beautiful.

- We'll do pretty much every
meal service up here.

- Excellent.
- It's not too heavy.

- Suite.
- So up here, the Jacuzzi.

- Okay.

- And then through here,
a nice area

to chill out and have cocktails.

- Mila, do you have tongs?

- As in shoes like yours?
- No.

- Oh...

- Suite.
- So this is the master suite.

- Oh, this is Big Daddy's.

- Look at this.
- The bathroom.

You've got a nice bath
if you feel so inclined.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

- Two of you can
change now quick.

- All right.
- So nice to be on charter.

I like having sh-- to do.

- Deck crew, all deck crew,
to the aft deck.

You guys can choose which
cabins you want.

Here's Cabin Three here, has
like a massive dong, I guess?

- What?
- Dong?

- Is that what you call it!
- Massive what?

- Dong?
- Wait.

Is that an Australian thing?

- In Los Angeles.
- Like a "dong"?

- Okay, that would be a gong.
- Oh, a gong.

- The thing with the D is bad.

- So I've been calling it
the wrong name, haven't I?

- Yes.

- Coming off the dock,
Joao is gonna call it.

I don't want to hear any talk
on the radio from anybody.

- I get a chance to prove
to Captain Sandy

with an experienced deck team

that we can smash this
out of the park.

Starboard quarter,
ground line clear.

- We can release
the forward springs.

- But the wrong distance
means the wrong action,

which means a
million dollar mistake.

- It's gonna be fine,
it's gonna be fine.

- Clink.

- Coming up...

- Is this for the crew?
- This is for the guests.

- That's what the guests
are eating?

Seeing the tacos is
very disturbing for me.

- Starboard quarter,
ground line clear.

- We can release
the forward springs.

It's a lot of lines.
- Yeah.

Got it?

- All lines are clear.
- Great.

Okay. Probably needed
two people on the bow.

There's a lot of line here.

- Copy. I'll change
that next time.

- When you work on boats,
it's all like team oriented.

So if you're being lazy,
you're a piece of sh--.

Because you being lazy makes
other people work harder.

- Uh-oh.

I think Captain's
doing something.

Where are my distances,
Joao, off my stern.

I can't see it.

- We are seven meters
on the stern.

Stand that side
in case there's anything.

Starboard side is all clear.
20 meters on the port quarter.

Starboard side all clear.

- Well done, everyone.

- They seem nice.

- Hey?
- They seem nice and relaxed.

- Yeah, they're lovely.

- Do you wanna go
change as well?

- Yep.
- Thank you.

- Nice work on the bow, Jack.

- It's Travis, but thank you.

- Feed it to me, mate.
- Ooh, baby.

- They're parking,
they're turning.

What are they doing?
- I don't know.

All I know is
I'm happy to be here.

I don't care what they're doing.

- Did you just get me
a Coors Light?

- I did indeed.

- Oh, and the mountains
are blue.

- And your margarita?

- Jack, you wanna go change

and then go straight
into lunch, man?

- Copy.

- Would you like lunch soon?

- I'd say a later lunch maybe.
- Maybe later.

- Yeah.

- So we'll say lunch
at 2:15, 2:30?

- Sure.

- And straight after lunch,
I can have the tender ready.

You can go into town,
have a walk around.

- That's what we'll do.
- Okay.

- What's the main course
for lunch?

- The main course for lunch
is foie gras burgers,

two salads and fries.

- Okay.

- Joao, Joao,
get the anchor prepped.

- Copy. On standby.
Okay, you go at that, eh?

You're gonna release
the brake when she's ready.

- Yep.

- You can go ahead and
drop the port anchor,

five shackles.
- Five shackles.

Dropping five.
Go to five.

- It goes to green.
- Anchor down, anchor down.

The anchors on this boat
are my archnemesis.

- What is that rat's nest?
- Wrap that around them.

- Just chip away at it.

- Ready?
- Yeah, go ahead.

- Yeah, ready.
- ----ing go.

- Ready.

- You got a short stay,
Cap, short stay.

- Okay, great. We're good.

- Too pretty.

- Colin and Jack,
if you don't mind,

come and give me a
help on the stern.

- Copy that.

- Would you grab those
underneath there?

Let's start putting them in
their positions like this?

- I brought Joao back
because of his attitude.

What I'm gonna watch
this season is his ego.

- Am I good to go?
- Yep.

- Is he gonna beat his chest
and go, "I am Joao!"

Or is he gonna say, "Captain,
what do you think about this?"

- Jump in, mate.
Make sure the batteries are on.

- Hello.

- We're going down now.
- Yes.

- Here we go.

- Five minutes and you can come
sit down and we'll serve lunch?

- Mila, the guests are
coming down to be seated.

And then I'll do water
and wine service.

I'll let you know
when that's complete.

- How are you
feeling internally?

- It's better, but...

- Did we see buffalo
when we were in Jackson Hole?

- No, no.
That was a moose.

- Do you need some help?
- Yeah.

- Let me know if
you need a hand.

- I should give respect
where respect is due.

And I feel that it's due
for Captain Sandy.

Like I've always called
my captains by their name.

And even when she told me that,

she was like saying it
in like a nice way.

She wasn't like,
"Hey, ----head,

call me Captain Sandy!"

They're always the worst
part of the boat is the slide.

- Joao, Joao, Hannah.

Do you know who you're sending
to Nice with the guests yet?

- Jack's coming in to Nice.
We will be ready in 20 minutes.

- Thank you.


- Yes.
It's perfect.

- Water and wine service
is complete.

So you can take this and that.

- Here we have a
grilled chicken salad,

a Greek salad, traditional,
some frites.

And your burgers are
coming right up.

- I used to play poker

Playing poker with the guys
and taking their money

at the table, it makes
me feel so good.

Main guy.

It's like when people say,
"Oh, chef, we love your food.

We were blown away with it."
- There you go.

So this is a foie gras burger.

Bon Appetit!

- Coming up...
- Nachos is good to go.

- Are you gonna put cheese
on this or something?

- Yes. Sorry.
- It's terrible!

- [bleep] melt.

- So this is a foie gras burger.

Bon Appetit!

- Oh, ho.
Oh, ho, ho.

- Hmm, that is good.

- I'll never be able to go
to McDonalds again.

- Ah, yes.

- Really good.
Really, really, really good.

- They said the burgers
are delicious.

- Oh.

- How's your lunch?
- Best hamburger ever.

- Really great flavor.
She did a great job.

- That's great.
- When are we going onshore?

- Now.
- Done.

- Great.

- You gotta make sure that

happens for them, that's all.

[ chuckles ]

- Big Daddy!

- Yeah.
- Show those socks!

- Grab Jack's hand there.

- Okay.
- Oh, Jack.

Can you pick me up some fresh
milk while you're in Nice?

Roger that.

- We got it?
- Cheers. Rope.

- Ooh, I'm excited!
It's so beautiful.

- And here we are.

- See you later.
Thank you, my friends.

- Oh, thanks.

[ laughs ]

- Lovely...

- All right, guys.

- Yeah, we'll follow you
wherever you want to go.

- All righty.
- Yeah.

- Like half hour or
45-minute kind of thing?

Is that good with you?
- Yeah.

- Okay, so they want
to get in the water.

- Yeah.
- Okay, cool.

- Okay.

- Perfect.

- Then we go to
the boat or what?

- Okay.

- I just have to stop to grab
some milk and that's it.

- So is the boat this way
or that way?

- That way.
- Let's roll.

- How's the situation going?
- Good, man.

How is the slide?
- You're okay.

This is the...

I believe this is like--
- The Steer.

- Okay.

- Sandy gave me the drive
to be a bosun.

Now I've got everything
to prove to her.

And seeing that Travis is
capable of working just means

that it's one last thing that
I have to worry about.

- That's pretty nice.

- Okay, okay.

- Yes. We've gotta
do it, haven't we?

- Uh-oh, Cheese Factory.

- No.

Do you know where
there's a supermarket?

- Okay.

- I'm super type A and
when things don't go my way,

It's like a big ----ing deal.

- We need to light a fire under
both of our asses right now.

And we need
to complete this task.

Also, where are our people?

- Where's the rest of the group?
- Nobody knows we're here.

- Did I get a missed call?

- Do you think a pharmacy
would have milk?

- Hey, mates.
How you doing?

- Oh, [bleep].

- Okay, I'll be on my way
back now anyway, yeah.

Rule 101.
Never leave the guests behind.

All crew, all crew, I'm heading
back to pick up the guests.

- I'm ready to go.

- Six minutes.
- Oh, my feet are killing me.

- Yeah.
I'm like going, huh?

- I don't even know
where we are!

- Google Maps again.

Oh, is that it?


- There's our boat right there.

- That's a great time.
- We got the milk!

[ phone rings ]

- Different boat?
- Yes, Jack?

- I am on the dock
with the guests.

I'll come back and
get you.

- All right.
- Sorry about that.

- I got it.
- All righty.

- Well, at least we
haven't got the stress of them.

- Whatever.

- Oh, look at that.
That is just beautiful.

- Look at that docking.

How was your trip?

- Outstanding.

- Would you like a cold towel?

- You need to get to work.
Have a cheeseburger.

[ laughing ]

God! Jeez, I came out of
the womb your size.

Let's go.

- I want to go before
I lose my courage.

- Okay, you gonna do the slide?

- Is it that way or that way?
- This way.

- Travis, do you know how
to get to the port?

- Yeah, I can go.
- Cool.

- Cool, man.
- [ imitates engine ]

- I do.

- How long you been going
out with him for?

- Uh, like three months.

- Still early, though, isn't it?
- Yeah, it is.

- That's Travis, you know.
- Is it?

- Have we pulled
the steak knife?

- No, not yet.
- And forks? Okay, cool.

And how's the laundry looking?

- Um, I've done four loads.
They all need folding now.

- Okay, cool.

- Don't be scared.
It's awesome.

[ shrieks ]

- Careful.
- Oh, my gosh!


- Did you guys go for an
excursion with the guests

or excursion
to find milk, mate?

- Smells amazing in here.

- That was so much fun.
- What are we doing next?

- I might go change.

- I got five of each.
- Perfect.

- Yes. Should I change?
- Yes.

- Okay.

- Oh, God! Float away!

Oh, sh--!

- Hey? Hey?
How you feeling?

- Good, thank you.

- Is this for the crew?
- No. This is for the guests.

- That's what the guests
are eating? Tacos?

- That's what the guests
are eating? Tacos?

- Yes.

I'm doing a plated steak
and this for them

because they wrote
they like Mexican.

And the one mentioned tacos
and chicken enchiladas.

- Seeing the tacos
is very disturbing.

But I need to give
Mila the benefit of the doubt

because she was sick.

I'm just thinking
about her resume

and I'm hoping for the best.
- Fine.

- What's up, J?
- Just setting the table.

- I'll come give you a hand.

- Are they being seated, Hannah?
- Nope.

- I'll let you know
when they're seated.

- Okay, so I will start frying
when they're ----ing seated.

- Okay.

- Quick one, buddy.
Sorry, mate.

You got to stick
with the guests.

I mean, that's the way
we're getting our tips.

As a leader, when we work
our best, I get the credit.

And when we work our worst,

I have to take
the responsibility.

My job is to motivate them
to strive for better.

- Yep.
- Go on, bro.

- Oh, my gosh, rocks!
- Let's grab a seat.

- Did you put on your preference
"I like rocks"?

- Nope.

- Look at him.
- He's the king.

- The guest of honor
has now arrived.

- Hey, hey, hey.
- Hello.

- Ready for dinner?
- I think so.

- Mila, Mila, Hannah.
All guests are seated.

- Copy that, Hannah.
Thank you.

So tonight our starters
are the Mexican dishes.

It's what they're asking for.

You have to give them
what they want.

- What's up G-unit?
- Enchiladas.

- Yeah.
- This is good to go.

- Are you gonna put
cheese on this or something?

- Yes. Sorry.
Supposed to melt, though.

- Okay, what the [bleep]?

Literally, it's just a plate
with some chips on it.

Like it's terrible.

- Have you seen "Captain Ron"?

- Yeah, yeah.

- That's like a
great movie, isn't it?

- So this is really, really...

- These are ready?
- Two seconds. These tacos...

- Chicken enchiladas and...

- And nachos with salsa.

- In nine years in yachting,

I've never refused
to take a dish out.

- Spicy nachos.
- Really?

- I just cannot serve
that to guests.

It's disgusting.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

- Just go down to the cabins.
- Okay.

- Are we going to
drop this down?

- Yes.

- Here I am.

- Oh, my God.

- So these are
chicken enchiladas.

And then we've got beef tacos.

- Well...
- Is this the appetizer?

- Yes, this is your starter.

- Look, Carol, they
have sour cream.

- Ooh.
Meat's got a little bite.

- Oh, God, Taco Bell

- Right.
- Still warm.

- I think that these
guests are being very polite

about the food.
- Her sauce is amazing.

- But I'm embarrassed this
is what I'm giving them.

- One, two, three, go.

- I think that tacos and
enchiladas was enough.

So maybe we shouldn't
serve the nachos.

- Do you think it
was fine for them?

- Yeah, yeah.
I think that was enough.

But, wait, wait, wait.
Are you plating these now?

- Yeah.

- Should we not like wait
until they eat this?


- Well, since they've
got a plate in front of them.

- All right, okay, okay.
That's even better.

- Okay, I'll be back.

- The enchiladas...
Perfect for me.

- Oh, it's so good.

- The tacos are a
little too spicy.

- Your Cuban, it's too spicy?

- Cubans don't
like spicy food.

- Really?

- As we said,
it's a different country.

- I just need to microwave

this for one minute quickly.

- Do you know
where the chef is?

- She just went down,

I'm pretty sure, to heat
a little bit of the steak.

- No.

- Do you have heating lamps?

- Jay, are you a cook?

- I am an amazing
heater of food.

- Eater?
- Heater.

- Like, you can throw it in
a microwave and warm it up?

- Are you cooking
the steak in...

- No, I'm just heating it up
because it got too cold

because it was resting.

- I've never seen a chef
put steaks into a microwave.

We don't need to rush.
- Okay.

- Because I haven't cleared
yet and I've got to...

Okay, I'll just heat
them up before.

- Okay.
- Thank you.

Oh, pardon me.
- The enchiladas are the best.

[ microwave bell dings ]

- This season on
"Below Deck Med"...

- Oh, oh!

- When in France...

- When in France,
have fun in France.

- Oh, woo-hoo!

It's a water slide! Look!

- Can we leave her here?

- The South of France,
holy crap.

- France is different
from the rest of the Med

because it's full
of French people.

- You want the ham?
We're gonna get the ham.

- Oh, Captain can do everything.

- Quail egg with caviar
on a Bellini.

- This looks amazing.
- Just great.

- We'll have a
little drinky poo?

- I'm not allowed
to drink on charter.

This charter season, my job
is my number one priority.

- Oh, yes.
- Oh, that is lovely.

- That's a treat right there.

- Does anyone have
a ----ing lighter?

- Why are you doing this inside?

[ gasps ]

- I'm not happy with interior.
And it starts with you.

Do your job.

- Was it worth it?
- Yes!

- As a bosun, I need
to set an example.

It's not up to you
to decide

whether you ----ing
finish or not.

- It is.
- It is not up to you.

No, it's not.

- Jack may not take
you seriously,

but you can be a hardass.

- I don't understand
what your issue is.

- I don't really need to
be here and sh--.

- This is my creation.
It's called Sex on a Yacht.

- Whoa!

- How long haven't
you had sex for?

- Like six and a half weeks.

What are you doing?

- Did you just kiss my breast?

- Yeah.

- Sit on the opposite end
of this ---ing table from me.

You're a piece of sh--.

- I've never experienced anxiety
like this in my life.

- What's happened?
It's a fireable offense.

- Oh!
- Oh, God!

I am gonna get sick.

- Find out why the ----ing
alarm's going off.

- Oh, my God!

[ bleep ]

- Something's definitely wrong.

- What the [bleep]?

- Oh, no!

- What?