Below Deck Mediterranean (2016–…): Season 3, Episode 15 - One Million Percent - full transcript

Adam rises to the occasion with his crew meals putting all the chatter to rest. And, on the final charter of the season, a group of self-proclaimed "Daddy's Girls," come on board, but the ...

- Previously on

- Previously on
"Below Deck Med":

Who goes on a two-day trip

to come visit their son
in Italy?

- Hiya, honey.
- Hey.

- What's up?
Guns out?

How you feeling?
- Mm.

Why don't I put you
in the crew mess

and not feed you
for a ----ing day

and tell me how you feel?

- There's just been
a lot of talk

about the crew feed
coming at 10:00 or 11:00.

- I know one quick and easy way
to a mutiny,

and that's hangry crew.

- So much.
- So nice to meet you.

- Everything you cooked
was amazing.

- Thank you.

[percussive music]

- [sharp sigh]
----ing bullsh--.

- [laughs] I'm just...
- That's not even funny.

- Joking.

- Ooh!
- Mm.

- What the (BLEEP) is going on?

- You want to make it look

like a ----ing
perfect relationship...

- Yeah.
- When it's not.

♪ ♪

[foghorn blows]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- I was falling
for the girl that wasn't...

bringing up every wrong thing
I did.

- Sweetheart, then--

- I hate you
calling me sweetheart.

It's the most
degrading thing ever.

♪ ♪

- What's going on?

'Cause you keep looking at me,
and I feel--

- No, no, no.
Jesus, no.

- Okay.

- No point in ----ing
silver-lining it

and going any further.

This is not going to work.

- Okay.

- There's a point
when you're in a relationship

where if you argue
every day,

what's the point
in being there?

We're not happy.

I'm done.

- Okay?
- I think we should leave it.

- Yeah.
- Oh, okay.

[percussive music]

- You don't need to
feel sorry for me, sweetheart.

♪ ♪

[man talking indistinctly
in background]


This is awesome.

♪ ♪

- [indistinct]
- Yes.

♪ ♪

- Oh, my God.


- Hello.

- Doing all right?

- Yeah.

- We all satisfied?

- Are we going back
to the boat now?

- Yes.
- I'm going out.

- [laughs]

- Attaboy.

- Okay.

- Copy, copy.

- Come on,
it's our second-last night.

- Yeah, I don't want the stress
to be raised.

- I'm going out.

- "I don't want the stress
to be wasted."

Is that what you said?

- Yes.
- Holy (BLEEP).

- It does make me feel
a little bit insecure

that Kasey is still vying
for his attention.

There's still
inappropriate closeness,

and he's making me feel
like I'm crazy

for feeling this way,
and I'm not.

I can see it.

- I'm ready to grind
on some randos!

- [laughs]

- Ah, let's roll.

- Give me a ride?

- Hey, have fun.

- Ah.
- Look good, girl.

- Thank you.

- ♪ We're gonna have
a party ♪

- I'm just so ----ing excited
for this charter to be over.

[percussive music]

- You okay?

- Hi, Jamie.
- Hi.

- Have a table.
- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

[electronic dance music]

- I kind of like this.

- Gin and tonic!

- Whoo!

- Vodka soda.
- Vodka soda?

- Okay.

- I have, like,
for three nights now.

- Okay?

- Do you see this--this?
I can't do this.

With Brooke,

we're already getting
to a serious stage,

when we haven't even had
the fun stage yet.

The more insecure she gets,

the more distant I will get,

because I just want to be me.

[electronic music]

- Ah, you ----ed up again,
didn't you?

- I didn't (BLEEP) up again.

- Talk to Papa Bear.

I got a cigar.

- I want to be
the fun, bubbly guy.

I want to be, like--
- Your laugh

used to be contagious,

and now it sucks.

[both laugh]

- I'm okay.
- I'm--um, yeah.

- You sure?
- Yeah, I think--

yeah, we're good for now.
- Thank you so much.

- You're welcome.

- Oh, hello.
- I want in

the conversation here.
- What's up?

- You're too young for her.

She is a 55-year-old

- I could never
support her, financially.

- Uh-uh.

- And the saddest bit is,
that's all she looks for.

- No, the saddest bit is,


yeah, exactly.


- I am gonna hit the sack.

- Can I have
a quick chat with you

before you hit the sack?
- Mm-hm.

Yeah, sure.

- All right,
I'll take a walk. Do it.

- Start off... slow.
- Slow.

- And you get...
- That--

That's no--

You're like,
"You're still going, hard?

- No, we go like this.
Buh, uh, uh.

- Yeah, but you--you got--
- But we got moves.

You just look
like you're beating a woman

when--when you do it.

- Do I look
like the type of guy

that would beat a woman?
That's such bullsh--.

- In bed.

- I'll take that.
I'll take that.

Yeah, when she asks for it.
- Yeah, you see?

- When she asks for it.
- What did you do?

- I have no idea.

- Yeah.
- I'll go.

Well, I don't know.
- I don't know if I should.

- Yeah, you'd probably
get slapped or something.

- If--no, no.

- Please,
because I need to know

that I'm gonna go to Prague

and it's not gonna be
a sh--show.

I want to--
- Are you ----ing kidding me?

- No.
- Okay, then we won't do it.

But just--
I need to know tonight,

'cause I need
to change my flight.

- That's what I mean.
That's what I'm saying.

I'm saying--
- So change my flights?

- Yes.

If I'm being honest, yes.

- Yoo!

- Hello.
- [sighs]

Now where are you going?
No, no, no, hang out.

- No, I'm good. Thank you.
- Stay a bit.

- No, I'm good.
- What are you doing?

Where are you going?
- Enjoy your boys' time.

- What's the big ho--

- So I just don't know
where I--I--

Now it's gonna be like,

"I can have so much fun.

Watch me."

- Yay.

- [laughing] Oh, my God.

[percussive dance music]

♪ ♪

- [laughs]

- I think I still flirt
with Joao

because deep down,
I still like him,

and I think, if I hadn't left

that dock party,

that could be me.

♪ ♪


♪ ♪

- Yeah.

- Tequila?

♪ ♪

- Rowdy.

- Where's Brooke?
- At the car.

- Stop it.
- [grunts] Out of way.

- [grunts] Whew.

- Cheers, guys.

♪ ♪

[gentle music]

♪ ♪

- [sighs]

- No.

- Why?
You want to come visit?

- Okay.

- Okay.
- Is that okay with you?

- Course.

[electronic music]

♪ ♪

- [grunts]

♪ ♪


♪ ♪

- What are you doing?
I ha--oh, my God.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- He's not on me.

- [laughs]

- I need a drink, then.
- [laughs]

- [snoring]

♪ ♪

- Really, Brooke?

♪ ♪

- Coming up:

- Really, Brooke?

- That's mean.

- Is he passed out?

- Yeah.
- Oh, I love him.

- Can we just get the fact

that he's not even on me?

'Cause I think
that's why she's mad.

- That's exactly
why she's mad.

- But he's not even on me.

She has no reason
to be mad at him.

- [snores]

- It's Colin.
Come on.

What's going on?
What's going on?

Talk to me.
What's going on?

- [crying]

- I got you.
I got you.

Hey, what's going on?

- So much.
- What's going on?

- You have to tell him.
You can't just ignore it.

- Have nothing
to do with him right now.

- Uh, we're all going to bed.


[whispering] All right.

- [grunts]
- Good night.

♪ ♪

- You're a ----ing smoke.

You can get who--
whatever dude you want.

- Mm-hm.
- Trust me.

Your dancing skills are...
- [laughs]

- Questionable,
but I'm serious.

You know what you want.

[percussive modern music]

♪ ♪

- [grunts]

Are you throwing up?

♪ ♪

- Morning, Kase-face.
- Morning.

- Pff.
- Not good, huh?

- Really?

- That's the good thing
about 23-year-olds:

take a taxi and boom,
you're over them.

- Ooh.

[percussive dance music]

♪ ♪

- Colly-wolly!

Not, eh?
- Dude.

- [laughs]

Not gonna get much
out of you today, eh?

- No.

Dude, why are you
----ing laughing, man?

All right, it's funny.
I get it.

Jesus Christ, man.
Get the (BLEEP) out of my face.

- [laughs]

- [speaking native language]

[percussive music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, so my parents
are in town.

- Yeah, yeah.
- Would you mind

if I got dinner with them?

- Absolutely not.
You go for it.

- I definitely want
some time off the boat.

I need to get
the hell out of here.

Hopefully, this will be

the first dinner
I've had all season

where no one's breaking up
with each other

or fighting across the table.

- I know that I'm
still angry at something.

I just can't quite remember

why or what I'm angry for.

- It looked like he was laying
on her lap or something.

- What should I do?

- Do what makes you happy.

You know?
- [laughs]

- Brooke is one of those girls
that you buy her flowers,

you buy her chocolates,
clothes, rings.

You buy her whatever she wants,
'cause she is a princess.

- Adam, Hannah, Conrad,
come to the bridge

for a last and final
preference sheet meeting.

- Whoo-ee!

- Let's do this.

- Yay!
- Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

- Honestly, if the FBI

ever wants to find a new way
to torture people,

they should put you on a yacht
with your ex-boyfriend.

- So primary's
from Naples, Florida:

Clint Harkins,
a healthcare lawyer,

and two daughters,
true daddy's girls.

This trip, Clint wants to make
amazing memories

with his new son-in-laws,

Brent and Charles.

Also joining this trip
is his long-time friend,

Trish Cona.

- Diet restrictions: Lots.

- "Chicken, dairy, gluten,
almond, salmon,

"tuna, grains, nuts, cherries.

However, I can have fish."
- Mm. I--

- What do you think
about some local musicians

for a cocktail hour?
- That could be really cool.

- Yeah?
- I like it.

- Okay, cool.

- It makes me proud that Hannah
actually has some forethought

behind what she's doing.

This is the Hannah
that I like.

We're gonna blow
it out of the water.

- Cool.
- Well, not the boat, I hope.


Thank you.
- Let's do it.

[upbeat music]

- Good morning.
- Morning

- [laughs]

You know what sunglasses
inside means, eh?

- You all right?
- Yeah.

- Things are getting to Brooke.

Things are getting to me.

Tension's rising.

- Oh, God.

- We need to get away

and just learn
about each other

and see if it works or not.

- I don't feel like we get on
when we drink.

- I didn't do anything wrong,
I don't think.

- Well, you were lying down,

and it looked like
you were lying on Kasey's lap.

- I've seen you
and Colin close.

- You've actually had
a thing for Kasey,

so it's different.

- Because of how I feel
inside me,

it shouldn't matter.

- I'm so embarrassed,

you know, getting drunk
to a point

where I'm insecure
and jealous.

Oh, God, I feel stupid.

- So we're gonna spend
the whole week in Florence?

- Yeah, I don't want
to do too much.

Or just--

- Drink? [laughs]
- No.

- You don't learn your lesson,
do you?

- No.
- [laughs]

[upbeat bass guitar music]

- Hi, it's Hannah, calling
from "Talisman Maiton."

I'm looking for a group
of musicians

to come to our yacht
and perform tonight.

Okay, great.
Ciao, ciao.

♪ ♪

- Hi, Coly.
You look handsome.

- What's going on?

My parents...
Uh, they've been married

for a million years.

- Were you working hard?

- Um, a little bit.

I don't think
I've ever seen a frown

on either
of their faces before.

They're always happy,
and I think it rubs off on me.

- We love you, buddy.
- Coly drinking wine.

We're so happy!
- Am I--

am I doing Italy good?

- Uh, you are.
You are. [laughs]

- [sighs]

- Last-ever time
making a bed together.

We've never had, like,
a family like this one before.

Daddy's girls.

- I'm a daddy's girl,

but not to the point
where I'm going to be like,

"Daddy, I want this.

- "I want a pony."

My dad's like,

"I'm just gonna spend
all my money

"on women and horse races

'cause I ca--what am I gonna
do with it when I'm dead?"

And I'm like, "Yeah, that's not
really the logic, Dad.

You do have two daughters."

- [laughs]

- My dad had cheated
on my mum,

like, for years,
and with young girls,

and broke the whole family up
as a result of it,

so loyalty and being able
to trust someone

is absolutely paramount.


[upbeat music]

- So have they been making fun
of your New York accent?

- Yeah, everyone.
- Oh, yeah.

- But you know what's great
with this crew?

It's so diverse, you know.
- Right.

- Everybody has
a different accent,

hence how I can't understand

anything anyone's saying to me.

- [laughs]

Yesterday, we were so flying

from the surprise and all--

like, we were so happy

that you were happy,
and... Oh.

- It's a magic moment.
- Our Italian adventure

with Colin.

- You know, I do want
to settle down at some point.

Um, I don't know
when that will be.

I definitely want to have
what my parents have.

- Thanks for dinner.
- Uh, yeah, you got it.

- All right.
- Okay, love you.

- Bye-bye, Ma.

♪ ♪

[electronic dance music]

♪ ♪

- How are you?
- Morning.

Good. How are you?
- Good.

♪ ♪

- All crew, all crew.

11:00, guests' arrival.

[percussive music]

- [whistles]

How you doing?
- How you doing?

♪ ♪

- Last charter.

♪ ♪

Yeah, it's huge.

- The last time
we're doing this, guys.

- Knock it out.

- Try not to look so happy.

- [laughs]

- Hello.
- Coming up:

- They gotta stop doing
that sh--.

- What?
- Sucking face

while I'm, like, eating lunch.

- It's so awkward!

- [kissing]

- No PDA, please.

- The last time

- The last time
we're doing this, guys.

- Try not to look so happy.

- Good morning.

- I'm your captain, Sandy.
- Hi. Clint.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

- Hi.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

- The age difference of
the primary and his girlfriend

kind of reminds me
of Conrad and Hannah.

Robbing the cradle.

- Welcome aboard.
- Thanks again.

- We're really happy
to have you.

I hear you guys sort of, like,
run the show here, so...


- No question.
- No question?

- Once you're on board,
if you'd just

take your shoes off,
that would be great.

- Okay.
- All right.

[energetic music]

- Thank you.
- Cheers to everybody.

all: Cheers!

- Come with me
and I'll give you a tour

of your home
for the next few days.

This is the bridge deck aft.

We've got perfect weather
arranged for you guys.

- Yay.
- We'll be doing

all our meal services up here.

I like your dress.
- Thanks.

- This is your top deck.

It's definitely the area

you should be enjoying
the most.

- Okay, Sandy, I'm happy
to release lines when you are.

- Let 'em go.
I'm ready.

- Copy.
Bring in the springs.

♪ ♪

Okay, deck crew, we're all good
to bring fenders on board.

- Conrad, good job.

ETA to Capri is one hour,
40 minutes.

- Lunch at 1:00.
- Cool.

- And dinner at 8:00.
- Wow, so structured.

You know, I don't know
if it's because the season's

coming to a close,

or if--because
they broke up.

Either way,
Hannah's doing a great job.

- I've got musicians

and an Italian dancer

coming on for cocktail hour.

- Sometimes, you just have
to listen to the boss.

Conrad's out of the picture,

and suddenly,
service is through the roof.

Sandy's gonna like
what she sees.

- [speaking native language]

[upbeat music]

- God, I'm hungry.

- One, two, three.
all: Capri!

- Oh, my God.
Did you see the dolphin?

- I think this is
our good luck charm

for our last charter.

You've got fruit
and charcuterie

in here whenever you're ready.

- Are good at their jobs.

[keyboard music]

♪ ♪

- Find some champ,
glass of wine,

something, and get organized.

- [laughs]
- Do I?

- Who, you?

- I was kidding.
- What'd you say?

- Nothing. [laughs]
It's fun.

- You know, we heard
what you said.

- I hate you.

♪ ♪

- I do not need
a crew mutiny on my hands here.

♪ ♪

So I'm gonna go out of my way.

I'm gonna plate
every person's dish.

Eat up.

- All crew, all crew,
you got some lunch

in the crew mess.
- What?

- It's plated.

- He must feel really bad.

- Oh, he's really
sucking up to us, huh?

- Oh, my God.

- Pretty good.
- Yeah, it is.

- [high-pitched noises]

So the last charter,

we finally get lunch
at a normal hour.

♪ ♪

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

- Oh, wow.
Look at this.

- Oh!
- It looks fake.

- Right, Joao...
- Yes.

- You're gonna drive the tender

around to the Blue Grotto.

- Okay.
- Can I go?

- Um, you're gonna go
with him.

- [kissing]

- No PDA, please.
- Yeah, sicko.

- [laughs]
- Colin and Jamie,

can I have you guys
up to the foredeck

for anchoring, please?

- Yeah, copy that, Conrad.
I'll be right up.

- Look over here.

- Wow.

Where are we?
- Capri.

- "Where are we?
What day is it?"

- On the move.
- "What country are we in?"

- They gotta stop ----ing
sucking face

while I'm, like, eating lunch.

- It's so awkward!

- Say something.
- Yeah.

- If I see it,
I'll say something.

- It's never fun

when a girl
you have a crush on

and your roommate
are cuddling

right next to you
in the crew mess.

Kill me now.

- Go ahead
and drop the anchor

three shackles.

[upbeat music]

- Hannah, are we too early
to sit?

- No, have a seat!

- We're good.

You guys can launch the toys.

- Okay,
get this tender out.

- Thank you very much.
- You're welcome.

- The table looks pretty.
- Ah, thank you.

- Cable down.

- Adam, Adam, Hannah:
Water and wine service

is complete.

For the trip
to the Blue Grotto,

would you like any beers
or wine?

- How long would it be?
- Think it's about 30 minutes.


- There's some weird... dynamic

between the young daughters

and this young
stepmum figure.

I can definitely
relate to that.

My dad's wife...

is young, and... awful.

[laughs] No, I can't say that.

- Thank you.

- Am I okay to take these?

- Yeah, you put them
on the table.

- Okay, thank you.

[upbeat music]

- I like cooking Mexican food.

I'm from southern California,
more or less.

You know, it's kind of
in my blood at this point

to make Mexican food.

It makes me feel
like I'm almost home

and surfing
and all salty,

and... drunk...

- All right!
- Dinner's served!

- [laughs]
Got enough spread here?

- This looks great, Adam.
- This is amazing.

- Fabulous.
- You got some black beans.

That's a little mole sauce.

This is garlic shrimp,
Spanish rice.

Dig in. Enjoy.
- Thank you.

This is amazing.
- Enjoy, guys.

- Thanks, Adam.
- So good.

- You gonna share that salsa?
- No, that's my bowl.

- [laughs]

- Just gonna go and have
a sad secret quickly.

- A sad one?

- I'm really sad.

- I know, it is
a sh-- situation.

- It's just ----ed.
The whole thing is ----ed.

I don't know whether
to just book my flight

for--just go home.

- Go to Prague.

- I don't think I want to.

I feel like that's just
going to be ----ing depressing.

I guess I am disappointed

with how the situation
has ended up with Brooke and I,

because we were such
good little buddies

at the start.
I kind of find it, like,

so ironic that Joao and Brooke

are off to Florence together,

and me and Conrad
have canceled.

It's like
we've kind of swapped.

Why'd you get me to ----ing
book in a hotel in Prague?

Why'd you get me
to book my flights

out of and to Prague...

- Yeah.

- If you were just gonna

What kind of ----ing pussy
does that?

- God, it's so awkward!

- Coming up:
- On a scale of one to ten,

how much are you gonna miss me?
- A full ten, Kasey.

- A full ten?
- Absolutely.

[bass guitar music]

- Are you ready?
- Yeah, go.

- And Joao's dead.

- And it's really exhausting,
being me.


- I bet.

♪ ♪

- We all done eating?

- Yes.
It was so good.

- Delicious.
- Colin.


- Yeah!

- Are we wearing shoes?

You said I didn't have to.

We're excited.

- Okay, ready, go?
- Ready, go.

- Cool.
Let's go.

- Happy travels.
- Thank you.

[upbeat music]

- Gosh, it feels so good.

- It's crazy that we're at
our last charter.

I've overcome a lot
this season

from having to cover
for Kasey,

then falling sick.

I bounced back.

Now it's my time to shine,

and I feel so good
about myself.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, I'd rather be outside!

- Yeah, I hear you.

- This could go horribly wrong.

[bass guitar music]

- You have to flip it over now.

- Yeah, that's gonna be a pain.

- Yeah, buddy!

- Conrad is at his best.

He's on the ball.
He's being a bosun,

and that's the Conrad I want.

- Get angry!
- Come on!

both: Yeah!
- Yay!

- Whoo-hoo!

[upbeat music]

- Is that where we're going?
In there?

- Indeed.

- Yep.
- Whoa!

- Oh, God.
- There we go.

- [laughs]

- Okay, thank you very much.

♪ ♪

- Oh, we have to duck here?
- Yeah.

- Whoo!

- Okay, yes.

- Oh, my God.

- The Blue Grotto
is so gorgeous.

It's one of the natural wonders
of the world.

- [singing in Italian]

- Beautiful.

- Never in my life

other than yachting,

would I get this experience,

and this is why
I love my job.

- Isn't that beautiful?

- [singing]

[all yelling]

- Oh, my gosh.

- Scared as sh--.

- It's amazing, right?
- Yes.

♪ ♪

- I'll see you at, like, um,
quarter past 6:00.

- Have a nice break.

- Thank you.

- Couldn't you see
a big change in Hannah

since what was said
the other day?

I really can.

She's being so much
more helpful.

Don't know what you're doing.

- We are doing
an equal amount of work.

- There's an imbalance.

- That's late shift.

- It's everything shift.

We should have
said something...

- Earlier?
- Yeah.

♪ ♪

- Awesome!

- It was beautiful.
- Yeah, it was so good.

all: Hi!

[electronic dance music]

♪ ♪

[percussive music]

♪ ♪

- [yells, laughs]

[piano music]

- Always in the liquor, girl.

- [laughs]
It's where I'm at my happiest.

- I'm not really a chip eater
until lately.

- Sandy, you say that
every time

you come in here for chips.

- Seriously, in America,
I don't eat chips.

I feel like Hannah and I
have found our footing.

It was a bumpy ride,

but we are on the other side.


[smooth percussive music]

- [laughs]
[revs engine]

- Come straight in!
- I...

Are you kidding me?

♪ ♪

Don't know how to shut it off.

- Is she coming in?

♪ ♪


- Off, off, off!

- [screams]



- Let me do it now.

- Oh, you're killing it.

♪ ♪

- I'm eating a sh--load.

So how are you feeling about
this being the last charter?

- I am super excited.

- And in--on a scale
of one to ten,

how much are you gonna miss me?

- Uh, nine.

- Nine?
- It's a solid nine.

- That is awesome.
What happened to last point?

- Um...

- We're not together.
That's why.

- Yeah, that really hurts me.
- [laughs]

- On a scale of one to ten,
how much are you gonna miss me?

- A full ten, Kasey.

- A full ten?
- Absolutely.

- Aww.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Living the life
over here, you guys.

♪ ♪

- Kasey...
- Yes?

- Can you stay on service?

I'm just going to go
and book my flight

before it skyrockets.
- Okay.

- Okay?

- Good luck.
- Merci.

[percussive music]

♪ ♪

- One of my go-to moves...

- What?
- Get, like, a sick sunset

like that to get pictures,
send it to a chick.

Be like, "Thinking about you."
- [laughs]

♪ ♪

You must be the singers.

I've got your singers
and dancers

on the swim platform.
Where would you like them?

- They're going to be playing
on the sun deck,

so just bring them up here.

- All crew, all crew,

there's food
in the crew mess.

- That is a mean dinner.

♪ ♪

- There you go.
- Perfect.

[electronic music]

- I have great shoes.

That's the part
I hate the most.

I, like, totally want
to wear my shoes.

- I've got red in the center
and champagne

chilled for dinner.

♪ ♪

Um, so we're just waiting
on one?

- Where'd she go?
She was just here.

- Why do you think?
- I don't know.

- I'm not sure where
this woman's disappeared to,

but we are now serving dinner
as an early bird special,

so if you could hurry it up...

- You two were too tan,
and she was too white.

- Has she gone to tan?

- It's a possibility.
Who knows?

- Let's go, Daddy.

- Quiet.

- Coming up:
- Um...

Maybe, if I mentioned this
couple weeks ago,

you know, who knows
what would happen,

but, you know...

- Should I delay cocktail hour

- Should I delay cocktail hour
a few hours? [laughs]

- No, no, no.
Just, whenever you're ready,

and then she'll meet us.

- Well, you can come now,
if you like.

- Okay.
- Okay.

[upbeat music]

- [laughing] Oh, my God.

♪ ♪

Oh, I love it.

- It's amazing.

- [singing in Italian]

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

[percussive music]

- Adam, Adam, Hannah,

are you ready
for me to seat them?

- Let's do this.

The daddy's girls
have requested

an Italian-themed dinner.

You know, at this point
in the season,

I'm actually perfectly okay

with someone telling me
what to do.

I'm ----ing brain-dead.

- Hi.
- Hi!

- You guys can come down
and be seated.

- Oh, lovely!

How cute is this?

Oh, I love it!

- Ready for bread?

- Are you ready for bread?

- Yes, we are.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

- Would you like bread?
- Yes.

- I made the kasha.

Hannah, Adam,
we are ready for starters.

[percussive music]

- Ah, it's a lot of poop
on that plate.

- Thanks, Sandy.

- It's just a classic caprese.

- Thanks, Adam.
- Yes, ma'am.

- This looks awesome.

- Good.
- Thank you.

- That is really good.
- Yeah?

♪ ♪

- Oh, do you?
- Yeah.

- Oh, thank you.
- We're thinking

about getting one.
- What do you want to get?

- Our mother passed away
not too long ago.

- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- And then, um,

we're thinking
about getting one

in honor of her.
- That'd be lovely.

- We're really thinking
about it, and--

- What are we talking about?

- The tat?
- Nothing.

- Oh, yeah, no.
That would hurt so bad.


[upbeat music]

- Oh, God, it looks good.

Is the salad
for the pescatarian?

- No, it's for the old man.

Have at it.
- Thank you.

- Thank you.

- Okay, so your second course
this evening

is a truffle tagliatelle,

and we've made
a garden salad

for you.

- Oh, no, he wants this.

- You do?
- Yes.

- No.
- Uh-uh.

- This is great.
- That is very good.

- I'm trying to crack my back.

- Can I cla--
can I click your back?

- Can you do it?
- Yeah.

- Do you guys need forks?

- No, no, I've got them
in my hand.

- Well, you know,
if you need more,

I can wash something.

- [laughs]

- Colin, will you marry me?

- [laughing] I was asking
if you had any forks.


♪ ♪

- Thank you.

[pizzicato music]

- Chirp, chirp, chirp, chirp.

Now I realize how boring
we really are.

I mean, I'm not boring...

- We don't have to talk
the whole time.

- In my world, I do!

- Yeah?

- I, like,
legit feel uncomfortable,

and I'm not even sitting
at that table.

- God, it's so awkward.

Maybe she is like
the evil stepmother

who da--
who we hate.

- But even in
the preference sheet,

it says, like, "Oh, she enjoys
hanging out with the family,

and all the perks
that come with it."

It's like...
- Oh, God.

- Who says that?

- Look back there.

- Another boat?

- Why are we so quiet?

- Lovely, Beverly!

- Adam, Adam, Hannah,
we are laying cutlery.

You are good to start plating.

- Copy.

- It is so good.
- Yes?

- Yeah.
- That was awesome.

- Those are good to go.

- Beautiful.

- Dish number 17.

- Oh, my goodness.

- So the meat dish this evening

is an Italian pork loin

with baby potatoes
and roasted vegetables.

- That's really good.

- We should do, like,
an improv class.

[heavy accent] Hey, broad,
come over here, all right?

I got something to talk to you
about, all right?

- Yeah?
- I got some ----ing hot dog.

You want it, or what?

Forget about--
- I want--yeah.

I want a hot dog.
- You want a hot dog?

- [laughs]
- You want a little hot dog?

- Yeah.

- Here we go.

Five of you
have a panna cotta,

and you have a chocolate
and banana sorbet

with fresh fruit.
Is that okay?

- Fabulous.
- Thank you.

- That's delish.
- It's very good.

- [American accent]
What you talkin' about?

- No, "tokin."
- Talkin'.

- "Tokin."
- "Tokin.

- I really want to tell Brooke
how I feel,

because I friend-zone myself
too much.

I kind of regret


being completely forward
with her.

- What are you talkin' about?
- That's close.

- All right, we're done.

- Thank you.
- All right.

- But, you know, it's cold
right here,

but the room is hot.


- You off to sleep?
- I think so.

- Okay.
- Good night.

♪ ♪

- I know.

[smooth percussive music]

♪ ♪

- Um, right, Colin,
I'm going on a break now.

- Okay.

- Cool?
- Cool.

- All right.

- I know how you guys

canceled the trip
and everything.

- Uh, we didn't cancel
the trip, thank you.

He canceled the trip.
- Oh.

- I'm just ----ing paying
for it.

- Oh.
Well, I'm glad I brought it up.


♪ ♪

- Okay, I'll see you.
- All right.

See you later on.

- Night.
- Night.

♪ ♪

[electronic music]

- So, you looking forward
to going home?

- Uh, yeah.

- Have you enjoyed it?

- Here?
- Yeah.

- Yeah, I have.

But there's always
pros and cons to everything,

you know?

- Yeah.
- So...



[quiet rattling music]

I don't know if I want
to do this here.

♪ ♪

- Is--here, what--
the thing I had was, like,


Well, no.
So, like, I thought

so anyway--but, like,

since, like, the first week,

I've had, like,
a thing for you.

♪ ♪

[percussive music]

- But, like,
since, like, the first week,

I've had, like,
a thing for you.

I love joking around
with you,

you know, and I love
hanging out with you.

- Yeah, I love hanging out
with you.

Why didn't you tell me?

- I don't know.
You know, when

you guys start cuddling
or doing whatever,

I just kind of go
the other way.

You know.
- I'm sorry.

I didn't want
to make you feel like...

- No, no.

In no way am I

trying to...

you know, get in the middle
of you two.

I'm not--don't think that
at all.

You know, so...
- I don't think that

for one second.
- Yeah, all right, good, good.

So, um...

I really, really, genuinely do.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Damn it.

You know, maybe,
if I mentioned this

couple weeks ago, you know,

who knows what would happen,
but, you know...

- Well, yeah.

You know, so...
- Okay.

There's definitely
a part of me

that wishes that...

I could see Colin for more

than just a friend.

It really melts my heart,

because I care so much
about him,

but just not in--
in the romantic sense.

- All good?
- No!

- Oh.
- [muffled]

- Okay.

All right,
I'll see you later.

I feel a little better,

knowing that she knows
I like her.

You know, there's something
on the back of my head,

you know, hoping that she
would change her mind,

but, you know, who knows

what will happen
down the road?

- Hello.
- You all right?

- Yeah.
A bit frustrated.

- With?
- All this ----ing sh--

with this
----ing ridiculous holiday.

- Oh, really?
- Really.



- At least pretend
to be a gentleman

and offer to pay
for half of my flight changes.

I won't accept it,
because I'm not like that,

but put a poker face on
and pretend at least, honey.

- Jesus Christ.

- I think they're both
in the wrong.

For dating.

I'll give you $100,
I'll give her $100,

if you guys quit ----ing
bothering me about it.

[both laugh]
- Well, anyway,

- That sucks.

Good luck, man.
- Cheers, mate.

[modern dance music]

♪ ♪

- [yawns]

♪ ♪

- Um...

♪ ♪

How long of a flight is it?

16 hours?

- It's--what--with stops.

- Yeah.

I think this is Joao's
roundabout way

of asking how I feel.

- If, you know, the whole crew

thinks that him and Brooke
won't last,

maybe it's because

he's meant to be
with someone else.

- I think I am not--

not really for...

that type of commitment.

And it's always your fault.
- [laughs]

- Um...
- Don't look at me like that.

- [laughs]

and I--I don't regret that.
It's just...

- Mm-hm.

- Say it.

[percussive music]

♪ ♪

- Next on the season finale

of "Below Deck Mediterranean":

Who's got two thumbs
and blacking out?

This guy.
- Our last one!

- [yells]

- Oh!

- We have to go.
- Come on.

- 'Cause of safety.
- Come on, come on, come on.

Come on.
- Ow.

- I really, really
do like him.

- I would quite happily put

my entire
charter season's tips

on the fact
that he'll (BLEEP) whoever.

- You okay?
- Yeah.

- What's wrong?
- Nothing.

Have I made the right choice

in being with Brooke
and not Kasey?


- Conrad, what's next for you?

- Definitely not Prague.
That's all we know.


- Couple hours, you ain't
gonna see that girl again.

- I'm not the type of girl
that lets it slide.

- (BLEEP) off.
- You (BLEEP) off.

I don't give a (BLEEP) anymore.

- I'm going just to hide.


No, God!

[warm musical notes]