Below Deck Mediterranean (2016–…): Season 2, Episode 9 - iCloudy with a Chance of Secrets - full transcript

Wes declares his feelings for Malia, while her relationship with Adam takes a shocking turn. Max's girlfriend visits during the crew's day off as they explore the historic Fortress of Klis....

- On "Below Deck Med"...

- On "Below Deck Med"...
- You wanna go back to the boat?

- Maybe after the next charter,

you want
to go on a date with me?

- Yeah.
- Dude, she played us.

- Plus he's the most disgusting
out of all of us.

- If there's one thing
that I would suggest

is in the chef area.

- I went ahead and added some
onions to his soup out of spite.

- I'm gonna keep my eye on you.

- I miss my chick all the time.

It's hard having
a long-distance relationship.

It's like losing
your best friend, you know?

- Our next charter

is one of Dallas's
most eligible bachelors.

- Damn, that photo did not
do him justice.

I guess I'm a f---ing bad
chief stew then, all right?

- Maybe Bugsy should be
the chief stew.

- This is a really
low blow from Adam.

- If my second stew doesn't have
my back over the chef,

I'm very f---ing pissed off.

- So it's you that's gonna
carry me on to the boat, yeah?

- Me?
- Yeah.

- Carry you?
- Yeah.

- Jason, would you like a cosmo?

- Only if you make it.

- I've never heard of
a chief stewardess

who flirts with
the charter guests.

It is completely unacceptable.

- Thanks for all
the great service.

- My pleasure.
- See you again, all right.

- Jason, you off to bed?

[boat horn blows]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Thanks for all
the great service.

- My pleasure.
- See you again, all right.

- Good night.

You off to bed?

- Yeah.
- You need, uh...

- Assistance.

Thank you for
all your hard work.


I love your little--

[zipper sound]
- Ahh...My God.

[energetic music]

♪ ♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

[clock alarm beeping]

♪ ♪

- Max?
- Yo, bro.

- Do you have a special
outfit for your girl?

- Yeah, his birthday suit.
- Yeah, just naked.

- Naked.
- [laughs]

Does she like to drink?

- No, she doesn't drink.
- Really?

- Ha ha ha. Much.

My girlfriend's coming to town,

and she's a dancer,
currently in Dubai.

It's literally been six weeks
since I've seen her, so


you try going six weeks

without having sex, you know?
It's hard.

- How are you?

- Well, who didn't?
- I was very confused

when Hannah came in, 'cause
it was, like, really early,

and I thought I was late
for work, and I was like,

"What's going on?
What's going on?"

and she was like, "Oh, no,
I'm just getting to bed now."

- For you too?
- Oh, God, no.

- Not like Hannah?
- I went to bed at 2:30.

- Okay. I hope she wasn't
partying with them.

- As chief stew, I would leave
your second stew on late

so you can be up to greet them

and see what they want to do
for the day.

I think she's taking
advantage of the fact

that none of us actually know
when she goes to bed.

- Pull the [inaudible] in,
and let's get out of here.

All crew, all crew,
we are ready to depart.

Max to the bow, Max to the bow.

- [yawns]
- Good morning.

- Ready to rock and roll.

- Cap, stern is free to move.
- All right, Wes.

I'm gonna want
to start hearing distances.

Distance, Wesley,
distance, please.

- Yeah, copy that.
You still are very clear.

If you swing over now, it should
be deep enough it'll be good.

- Just keep communicating
distances, locations.

Wes does not know
how to delegate,

which is annoying for me

because the other
crew members aren't learning.

- Good morning.
- You want a muffin?

- What are they?
- Nut muff.

I'm really looking forward
to spending time

with Malia off the boat.

I'm smitten over this girl.

Get your nut muffs.

- Don't get all chamoised.
- [laughing]

- Morning.
- It feels so good out here.

- I know--oh.
[object clatters]

- What is it with you
and cell phones this weekend?

♪ ♪

- Ready Freddy.

- Did you order oatmeal?
- Oatmeal?

- She did, okay.
- Let's go eat.

Oh, wow.

- There she is.
- Good morning, sunshine.

- Hey, good morning, morning.

- Can I get some scrambled eggs
and hash browns?

- Sure thing.
- And can we send somebody

to check on Hannah just
to make sure she's okay?

- She's my cabin mate, so--
- So she's okay?

- She's good. She's good.
- She's all good?

- She took my cell phone
to dry it out.

- Okay.
- Oh, sh--.

- Do you want me
to put it in rice?

- I'll check up on that for you.

I definitely think
Hannah sleeping in

has got an effect on our work

because it's me trying
to serve breakfast

while Lauren's down
in the cabins.

It would be nice
to have the support.

- [inaudible].
- I just wanted to check

if you had a cell phone down

in the engine room with you.
- No.

- I feel a bit guilty

'cause it's not something
that I've done

before in my career in yachting.

Ballsy move, Ferrier,
ballsy move.

- Good morning.
- They wanted me to come check

on your pulse to see
if you were alive.

- And I have your phone.
- Oh, good.

- Do you want to keep it
in the rice?

- No, I'll take it.
- Take it out?

- There's a very low likelihood
that this works.

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

- Hey.
- Hello.

- Well, maybe the reason
it's not working

is the battery's dead now, huh?
- Mm.

- I appreciate his attempt
at discretion

because I don't want
to lose my job,

so I guess I will just keep
my mouth shut as well,

which is probably what
I should have done last night.

- So nothing's happening, right?
- Except rice falling on my lap.

- That's about it.
- You never know.

- Wes, Wes, you're gonna be
docking the boat.

- Good luck in there.
- Thank you, Captain.

I'll make my way to the bridge.

- Two captains I worked under,

they never allowed me
on the bridge,

and I just thought
if I ever have that opportunity,

I'm going to allow my crew
to experience

what it's like to move up
in this career.

- Sleep well?

- Oh, good.

- Okay, guys, you're driving
from starboard wing station.

Definitely nervous.
I mean, docking the boat

for the first time, it's a lot
different than taking it off.

Having a girl on the mind
makes things difficult,

and I need to focus on this.

Max, can you tell me
distances in front?

- I'd say 12 meters.

- You need to
look forward.

- Wes, you're looking good.
Just come straight in.

- We're getting close now,
making the final approach.

What's the distance, Max?
- Probably 7 meters.

- 5 meters.
- Don't hit it anyone.

That boat's in front of you.

- So we're in.

- Well done.
- Yes!

Bobby, just pull in
the [inaudible].

We're in safely.

- Yay!
- Nice job, Cap'n Wes.

- I don't want to go home.
- I don't either.

Maybe just hide
underneath the bed.

- Did you have fun?
- Yeah, we had a great time.

Can I get your email
address or something?

- Yeah.
- Do you have a pen?

You guys in town for--you
stay here for a day or so or?

- No, we're here for...
four weeks.

- We're here till Friday. Yeah.
- Yeah?

- All crew, all crew, everyone
to the dock, and let's line up.

- We're off now.
- Okay, all right...

- Okay, well...
- I'll see you.

- I'll say good-bye
to you downstairs.

- Take care.
- Yeah, you too.

As much as I loved
having him on the boat,

he's a bit of a distraction.

- Don't fall, don't fall.

I'm not used to
wearing shoes again.

Thank you so much.
- Safe travels back home.

- It was so much fun.
- Thank you for putting up

with all of my banter.
- Thank you so much.

I'm glad you had a good time.
- Pleasure.

- Thank you so much.
It was so nice to meet you.

- Yeah, you too.
- Thanks for everything.

- It was an amazing trip.
- Good.

- For many reasons.

Something like this,
it's not a vacation.

It's a lifelong memory,
and we had a lot of fun

when everyone set up the fun
event for the Cuban party,

That was great.
We probably gained

15 pounds each
because of this guy's cooking,

which was phenomenal.

Hannah and her team, they were
there every second of every day,

and it was incredible.

I have a little something
I'd like to leave behind

just to show our appreciation,

so I will leave this for you.

- Oh, thank you very much.
- And thank you all, guys.

We really appreciated it, so...

- Bye, thank you.
- Take care, everyone.

- Bye.
- Cheers.

- That is one fine ass.


- Okay, back to work.

All crew, all crew,
meet me in the main salon

for our tip meeting.

I know all of us are gonna
get pulled in at one time

to want to party with the guests
while on charter.

- F---.

- I just wanted to say...

[suspenseful music]

- I know all of us are gonna get

- I know all of us are gonna get
pulled in at one time

to want to party with the guests
while on charter.

We don't do that.
We're a professional boat.

You do not allow it to happen.

- Whew. Sometimes
it's not really what you do.

It's what you get away with.

- However, the clients
were very happy.

I just want to point
out table settings.

They were so beautiful,
and Adam, you did it.

Your colorful seven-course meal,
you blew them away.

Even though he did his job,

I want to make sure
that Adam's on top of his game.

His food has to be perfect.

Now two things, $15,000,

so $1,400 roughly a piece,

and I've arranged for you to go
to see the fortress for the day.

- Whoo!
- So after you have your-

- Cool.
- Tip meeting.

- That's awesome.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- Here's your $1,400.
Have fun.

We pick up our charter
in two days.

- Yay!
- Yay!

- Do you want me
to convert this to dollars?

- No, she told us what it was
in dollars, 1,400.

- Oh, so she did.

♪ ♪

- Hello? Hello?

- And then Max's room's
over here.

- Hi.
- Hi. I'm a hugger.

- Max's girlfriend,
she's a babe.

- Oh, we're so excited
to have you.

- Hi.
- I'm Bobby. Nice to meet you.

- How are you?
- Good.

- Where is he?
- Oh, Max?

- He's inside the bathroom.
- Max?

- Max!
- Dive right in.

- Max, open the door!
- What are you doing in there?

- Oh, typical.

That reflects our relationship
a lot, if I'm honest.

- It would probably be
a good idea to get out of here.

[light music]

♪ ♪

- Oh, hey.

- Hi.

- Hi, babe.
- How are you?

- I've not seen Emily
in six weeks,

and the first smell she gets
when she walks on the boat

is Adam's food
second time around.

- I missed you.

Oh, it's so small in here.
How do you manage?

- It's really glamorous living.
It's glamorous.

- Oh, I can tell.
It looks so comfortable.

- Five stars.

- Seen Adam?
- Yeah.

- What are we gonna do now?
- The best cook on the boat.

- Yeah!

- Fortress.
- What do I need?

Do I need, like, a bikini?
- No, you don't--unless

you want to walk around
the fortress in a bikini.

- I don't know
what a fortress is.

- Like a big castle.
- Oh, right, okay.

- Oh, my God, these two are
just perfect for each other.

- It's all making sense.

- Let's do this.
- Ready, guys?

- And you just
walked over the baby.

- It's better than stepping
on him.

- Do we need three people
in the back?

- Oh, my God, it's so beautiful.

- Do you know,
this is like 300 B.C?

- It's almost ancient.
- I thought I heard it

through the grapevine.
- What kind of grapevine

is that?

- The Fortress of Klis
played a huge part

in the Croatian history.

I'm in love with it.
It's beautiful.

- Photo op!
- Wow, that's cool.

- Wow, guys, this is
a new profile picture, hey?

All righty, let's carry on up.

- You guys, watch your step.
- Oh, my God. What is this?

- Please let us make it through
this charter season alive.

- Oh, my God, they're fighting.
They're fighting.

They're fighting.

- Damn.

- We come in peace.

- What? Me?
- The girl with long brown hair.

- Lauren!
- Whoo!

[overlapping chatter]
- Go for his head, Lauren.

- Yep.
- I can think of better areas.

- Thank you.
- Who's next?

- Look at that view.

- Such a good view.

- Don't fall, please.
You all right?

- Taking it all in.

- I'm just glad you're here.

- So how's everything been
on the boat?

- It's all right.
It's nice, like,

until I tell you
the love triangle.

Do you want to know
the love triangle?

Bobby likes Malia, and then
Malia started kissing Wes,

and Adam's the chef.

- All right, okay,
I'm following.

- She hooked up with them two--
- What, at the same time?

- In the same night.
And then I've just been like,

"Well, you know,
you guys crack on.

I've got Emily, so...
- Good.

- I'm not really
a relationship man

until I met this girl,

and yeah, I like
to think it's serious.

I'm so glad you're here.
- Yes.

- Here's another one.

Come on.
Let's go and find the others.

- Oh!
- I almost split the arrow!

- Croatia!

- One, two, three.

- Amazing.
- It's absolutely beautiful.

- How's it going?
- All right. How are you?

- When you're mad because I'm
not giving you enough attention,

- Yay!
- It's all right. We found them.

- Let's get out of here.
- Let's go eat some dinner.

- Yes.
- Okay, let's race down.

No, that was a joke.
That was a joke.

- Well, that was good fun.

- I'm really proud
I didn't fall over or trip.

- There's still time.
There's still time.

- I'm wearing
a leather jacket tonight.

- I just love my Bobby hugs.
- You suckered me.

- Starboard forward.

- Is this starboard forward?

- Oh, sh--.
- Heavy door for a boat.

- It's a water seal
so I don't have to listen to you

when you're in the bathroom.
- Funny, you.

- Like, you see that?
I might need to go

with the nip covers

- Look at you, girl.

- Let's go.
- Oh, it's bloody freezing.

- Oh, my God, it's way too windy
for this skirt.

- Bobby, I might have to wear
your leather jacket, bro.

- Are we separating?
- Awkward, okay.

- Let's get a red wine.
- No, let's go with a cab sauv.

- Where's the bathroom?

- I'd tell you if you
didn't walk away.

- Malia?
- Hey.

- Yeah, we'll go have
a chat somewhere.

- Oh, God.

- So what's happening

with you and Adam?

- He asked me out
on a date tomorrow.

- That's cool.
I just wanted to say...

But if not, also,
I'd like to pursue something.

- Yeah, I don't know.
- Yeah, no?

- I am--I--I think you know
how I feel about you.

- Mm.
- And--but, you know,

asked me out on a date,

and I don't know
what's happening

in that situation, you know?
- Yeah.

Just follow your heart.
Do what you got to do.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- It feels right.
It feels natural.

It feels how it should be.

I've made my stand,
and I've let her know

that she needs to now
figure it out herself.

- Man, this Wes thing
is still happening, you know?

- We have an extra
seat here, Hannah.

- I'll finish my cigarette
with you guys.

- Yeah, you can go for it,
buddy. Just top that thing off.


- How's the relationship
coming on?

- It's not totally unreasonab--

- I--and I see that now.
- We work side by side

every day,
and I told him

we're going on a date tomorrow.

I just got to figure out
what's going on there, you know?

- Can someone--Can you guys
watch my bag? I'm just--

- Yes.
- Thank you.

I don't know, like...I don't
want any part of this.

- It's hard to be
in this position,

and instead of, like,
understanding at all,

you're just being an asshole.

- Please don't call me that.
I'm trying to figure this out.

Put yourself in my shoes
for two seconds.

I mean, I can only assume
when I see you walking back

holding someone else's hand,

I feel pretty confident
that I'm out of the picture.

- By what?
He's known you for, like,

five days,
and that's how you console him,

by leading him on?

- Wow, bor-ing!

- I'm having a great time
just being out and about.

- Uh...

I had big plans for you.

Before that and that
showed up here...

- Yeah.

[dramatic musical sting]

- Do you guys want

- Do you guys want
to go inside to the bar?

- Yeah, let's go inside.

- Uh...

I had big plans for you.

Before that and that
showed up here...

I thought it was the Malia
and Adam show.

- Yeah.

[dramatic musical flourish]

- Adam and I met at our yacht
certification courses

in Florida three weeks
before we joined the yacht.

We decided it would be best

to just keep it a secret
from the crew.

- What's your name?
- Malia.

- Hi, Malia.
Just hand her off, please.

I appreciate that.
Just looking to spend

a little time with you.
Here I feel like

I've barely even met you.

- She's too smart
for you, honey.

- Yeah, little do you know.

- I've never been to Greece.
- I've never been

to Greece either.
Where do you want to go?

Being in a couple before you
actually get on the boat,

it can make things
really awkward

for the rest of the crew,
and I don't want to

give the rest of the crew
that impression.

- But then I got on the boat.
I met Wes, and I fell for Wes,

and Adam doesn't like that.

- No.

- We went from having
this potential great thing

to all lies, all lies.

- He held my hand back
to the table.

That's an innocent
gesture, okay?

- What? Since when?

Where--what--what country
are you from?

- You need to stop thinking
so much into it.

Everything's fine now.

- You sure?

- Yes.

- Please
don't break my heart.

- I'm not trying to break
your heart at all.

At some point
you got to just--

- Trust you?
- Yeah.

- Wes, let's hear it, come on.
- All right, all right.

I was like,
"All right, that's cool."

Like, we hugged it out,
and yeah.

- Dude, you need to f---ing
pull out of that, dude.

- Mate.
- She's playing you.

- Malia is not actually
this "player."

I believe that
she's actually genuine.

- You're f---ing way
better than that.

- Bye, guys.
- Are you going?

[overlapping chatter]
- Go get some sleep.

- Thank you.

I don't really feel like being
around these people right now.

- I don't know how Wes would
feel if he found out that Malia

and I have had relations
prior to being here.

- Well, I'm not going over
to that table.

- There'll be a thousand more

for you to hit on,
I promise, bro.

- I don't want to be that guy

running around
sleeping with many people.

Like, I just want that one sort
of real good, real connection.

- Whoo!
Everyone, fun time.

- Bugsy!

- Whoo!

Where's my friend, vodka?

- It's right behind you.
Oh, oh, okay.

[laughter, overlapping chatter]

- My nipples could
cut glass right now.

- Is there a reason
you're running away from me?

- I'm just trying to
get to the boat.

- Okay, right,
let's go, you two.

That one's for that one.

- I love it when
you're so domestic.

♪ ♪

- Adam? Can we go talk?
- Yeah.

- I'm scared. Do I wanna
have this conversation?

- Gotta have it.

- [inhales, exhales]

- I don't like this, you know?

I think it's best I just
step away from both, you know?

- Okay.
- We all have to work

on the same boat,
and to be honest,

going on a date
with you tomorrow,

I was, like, super excited,

and then tonight
you're quick to, like...

- What happened
with our conversation

that we just had at the table?
- Put me down.

- Right.
- I thought we figured it out.

- Were you just lying
the whole time, or...

- Not lying, Adam,
just taking a second

to take it in, you know?
- Well, now it seems like it.

- I think Adam's super immature.
We're not dating.

I didn't cheat on you.

It's not that I don't want
to spend time with you--

- But you don't.
You've made it pretty clear.

- Okay.
- Okay?

- All right.
- Good chat.

I wish you the best.

- Why are you--like,
this isn't, like, a--

- 'Cause I really wanted you,

and you're shutting
me down, so...

- I'm not shutting you down.
I'm just saying, like--

- Yeah, you kind of are.
- All right, let's call it that.

- I've been on yachts
for ten years,

and I've avoided
all relationships.

Suddenly this little
thing shows up

and kind of changed things
a little bit,

and it's pretty clear to me

that she's gonna make her
own decisions at this point,

so the smartest
and easiest thing for me to do

would be to walk away.

- Malia?

- Yeah?
- You're up, huh?

- Yeah.

- Heavy night?
- Yeah, you think?

- I'm so tired
of all of this.

- Well, just so you know,

I'm not going on a date
with Adam.

- You all right?
- Yeah, thanks.

- Okay.

- Why don't we get in the bath?
No, no, no.

- Me too.
- Oh, I'm drenched.

- It's so comfortable.
I laid down, and I was like--

- Beats a cabin, like,
top bunk with Bobby.

[lightly edgy music]

- Oh, dude.

So just so we're
on the same page, bro,

I'm not gonna--we're not
going out, just so you know.

- We're not gonna
go out tomorrow.

I think we decided it's probably
best just to, like,

keep everything professional,
you know what I mean?

- Agreed, no, but just get
that out of your brain, bro.

- Yeah, 100%, 100%.
- That's all you can do.

- Do you get to stay in Split?
- Tomorrow morning.

- You're leaving?
- Yeah.

It's been nice to see what
he's doing and meet everybody.

- I'm glad you were
able to come.

- Mm-hmm.
- The South African braai day,

it's where you all come together
and close down the roads

and you share meat
and stories and beer,

and it's just all about being
proudly South African.

- Yeah, what are we cooking?
- Sausages.

We'll see what Chef Adam's got.

I think it's coming
to that stage in the season

where we've been back to back,
and we've had our dramas.

We had our fights.
Have a beer.

Have some food.
Just laugh about it and move on.

- Hello, Bugs.
- Hi, Bugsy!

- Yeah?
- If you wanted to come?

- Yeah, it sounds good.
- I was thinking

of asking Bobs as well.
- Yeah, ask Bobs.

Let's just us four go
and have fun.

- Yeah, us four.
- That sounds fun.

♪ ♪

- What are you drinking
this morning?

- Coffee.

- Are you all right?

Are we all right?

- Yeah. I don't love it, know.

- You respect it.

- I need Wes, Adam,
and Hannah in the crew mess

for a prep and sheet meeting.

- Hello.

- Hello.
- Hi.

- Hello.
- So...primary charter guest,

Lauren Kaufman, is the cofounder
of Goza Tequila.

- Okay.
- She'll be bringing

her best friend, Bobby,
and his life partner, Joe.

Joining them will be a married
couple, Mark and Shauna,

and power couple
Brandy and Ricardo.

- Nothing really food allergy-
wise, which will be nice.

- The primary guest
would like to have

a tequila pairing dinner
on the last night?

The guests are requesting
a lot of water toys

and water sports.
They want the slide.

- I see that.
- Water ski, jet ski, slide.

- Yeah.
- All right, it looks good.

Let's get back to work.
- Let's do it.

[electronic chime]

[chime continues]

- What the...

- Huh?

- I want to talk to you quick.
- Okay.

- I want to speak
to you.

- What's going on?
- I was, like,

in the master cabin,

and this thing was going off,
and there's, like,

all these text messages
coming through.

Go to the top. It seems to be
from our primary guest.

- Whose iPad is this?
- It's the master iPad.

- Remember his phone broke,

so he must have logged in
on his Apple ID on there

and never logged out.

- Oh, sh--.

- This is a huge violation
of yachtie code.

Never get involved with
a charter guest during charter.

Don't do it.

- [gasps]
- I know.

- I just want to kind of

give you the heads up
of what's going on.

This charter guest
that just left, Jason,

he kind of kissed me.

- I was in the master cabin,

- I was in the master cabin,
and this thing was going off,

and there's, like, all these
text messages coming through.

They've been messaging
since charter.

- "Okay, so I make the drinks
and you massage?

Sounds fair to me."

It's so f---ed up
that she did this.

I--I have no words.

- Oh, this is like
my little sanctuary out here.

- It's so nice.

- Jason found me
on social media.

- Ah!
- It's just so uncomfortable

'cause, you know,
I have such a strict policy

that I don't get involved
with guests.

- Oh, yeah. Yup, yup.
- But at the same time,

he's just so f---ing cute.
- He is cute.

I would go for it.
- Mm?

- If there was a connection?
I would.

- If it's like
you keep it professional

when they're on the boat,
and you obviously have

a spark with them...
- Right.

- And then afterwards
they message you with, like--

- You can't help who you have
a connection with sometimes.

- Yeah.
- Even if a friendship

comes out of it?
- Wouldn't be a friend,

trust me.
[both laughing]

- Oh, wait, now, this is today.
- This is today.

- "I will tell them I need
to take a walk around.

I'm sure it will be fine."

- I know.

- Oh, I got to--I got
to read all of this.

Hold up.
- Shh!

[light music]

♪ ♪

- Whoo!
- All righty.

- How do I get down from here?

- I'll just catch you.
- Okay.

- There you go.
- All right.

- Oh, hi. It takes a lot of work
to look this good.

- So cute!

- What shoes am I gonna wear?

I don't have shoes to wear.

- [whispers] Hey, I got it.
I want the crew to know

that hey, Hannah's talking sh--

about all of us
to the charter guest.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

This is cool.
- This is awesome.

- What are we drinking?
- [indistinct] and tonic please.

- I'll have a vodka soda lime.

- I'll have a gin and tonic,
then, please.

So who's cooking
the braai tonight?

- I'm guessing it's gonna be
Adam and Wes.

- Wonder what they're
gonna talk about.

- Awkward.

- Bro, come try to help us
figure this out.

- Braai day in full effect.

I like that it's just
an open grill though.

That's cool.
We should burn this boat down.

Wes, to me at this point,
doesn't feel like we're friends.

It's kind of like
degraded to small talk.

It just proves that two men
who are roommates

can't go after the same woman.

- Burn the boat down?
- [laughs] We're gonna

burn the boat down.


- Could I just see your iPad
for a second?

So remember
how on our last charter

our primary broke his phone
in the hot tub?

- Yeah.

- Oh, sh--.

- Is that--here, do you want me
to put it in rice?

- He logged in with his Apple ID
on the master iPad.

- He logged in to the boat's
iPad, and he's texting Hannah.

- Shut up. What?
- It started at 12:30.

- What, after the guys get off?
- During the white party.

- So it happened
when we were on charter.

- When I saw this,
that's when I was like,

"Whoa, this is f---ed up."

That's not okay 'cause
that makes us all look bad.

- F--- off and get off
the boat then.

- Yeah, exactly.
It's so much sh--

about other people.
- Yeah.

To me,
Hannah can do whatever she wants

with the charter guests.
I don't care.

What I care about is the fact
that she's talking sh--

about our crew,

and that sucks because
we're supposed to trust you.

- So next charter, right,
if there's some chicks

that are into you
and then she starts to

pull you up and be like,
"Bro, you can't do this--"

- No, but--no, but it's
professionalism, Max,

when you're working
on a boat.

- You know, if I were captain--

- I'm sorry.
- I wouldn't care.

- You don't cross that
when you're working.

- Well, if you do-
- Shut it.

- I won't tell her.

- And they were talking
about meeting up later.

We've got to come up
with some kind of prank.

He says, "I'm walking
by the boat now."

She says, "I'm on the bow
at the very front.

[overlapping chatter]

- I'm so jealous.
- But I think it would be funny

is if they met up tonight and--

- And we went out
and meet them there.

- And we went out.
- Oh, hi, you guys.

Pull up a table.
[laughter, chatter]

- Got everything?
- Wait, how do we make sure

this is on silent?
- I got you.

- Yo!
- What's up?

- Braai masters.
- Now that everyone's back,

should we light
a fire up this barbecue?

- Let's light it up.
- Let's light it up, yo.

- Actually, I'm just gonna go
and have a little walk.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

- You all right?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All good.
- Cool.

- What's--what's this about?

- This is the braai war paint.
You want some war paint?

- Yeah.
- Super.

There we go.
That's dope.

- That's dope?

- [whispering]
Let's go.

Go, run, run.

- Wes-
- Two minutes.

- We'll be right back.

- Where are you guys going?
- We'll be right back.

- What?
- She went this way.

Oh, f---, my shoe's untied.

- Come on.

- Oh, wait,
look who's over there.

- Oh, sh--.
- Go this way.

Go this way.

- Is Hannah there?
- He's there--Jason's there.

- But you didn't see
Hannah though, right?

- No.
- F---. I wish I wasn't

wearing this shirt right now.
- You do stand out

like a sore thumb.
- I know!

- F---ing put my jumper on, Bob.

- I'm not gonna be able
to hide from this.

This is a horrible idea.

Dude, this is kind
of a sick getup.

- Wes, I feel like I need

to let you in
on what's just happened.

Bobby and I were
in the master,

and the master iPad
was going ping, ping.

It was a conversation
between Hannah

and our primary charter guest.

- Oh, wow.
- She's been trying to get off

the boat to see him and stuff.

I was saying
it's very unprofessional.

- I think the risky thing
of this is that

if she might think of it
as, like,

an invasion of her privacy.
That's the only thing

that I think could be touchy

with the situation.
- Yeah.

- Oh, f---, she's on
the other side.

- She's there. She's there.
She's there.

- She already saw us.
We f---ing blew it.

- She's on a march, boy.

Oh, she's turning in
to the boat now.

- Now--now this is obvious.

- Hey.
- What's up?

- Nothin' much.
- No?

- How you guys doing?
- Oh, I left my wallet

in Olive Street, so--
- Then we had a little

bromance chat.

- Bobby needed a beer,
so he's all,

"Oh, I'll come with you," and--

- What blond and brunet?
- This blond and brunet?

- Yeah.
- [laughs]

Well, you know.
- You want to join?

- Hey, guys.

- I'm starving.

- Sour Patch Kids?
- Yeah.

What makes you think
you're getting some of these?

You know I got
a secret stash, right?

- Sour Patch Kids.

- Oh, you really want some,
do you?

- Just the good flavors.

- Hey.
- Hey. What's up?

- Nothing much.

- You're all dressed up.
You look cute.

- This is, like, a sweatshirt,
but thank you.

- Look at that.
- Smells delish.

- Yeah, bro.
- Oh, hey.

- What's up?
- Sandy!

- I'm going to bed.
- Are you joining in

on the braai?
- I'm good.

Just take some photos,
'cause I would really like to

see the whole experience

- Aww.
- You have your iPad, right?

- Got the iPad.
- Enjoy.

- Well, should I order a pizza?
- I can do this.

This is about the only thing
I can cook.

- Can we just put it
in the microwave?

[upbeat music]

- Oh, sh--, they're burning now.

- Tank top and baggies.
- Oh, damn, Bobby. Ooh.

- Oh, damn, look at that.
Get at it, you.

- Do we have little forks?
- Just use your fingers.

- This is really good.
- Nailed it.

- I'm gonna kick to bed, guys.
Got this flight in the morning.

Enjoy the rest of your braai.
- I hope we get to

see you again soon.
- So good to meet you.

- Bobby, can I speak to you?

I'm gonna tell her
that we know about this.

Too many people know
now that if she finds out,

it's not gonna turn out well.

I really think that you and I
need to go and speak to her

and just sit her down and say,
"Look, we found the messages."

- She's gonna go mental.

- This needs to be done,
and it needs to be done tonight.

We've got guests coming on,

and this could
potentially blow up

into something way bigger
than it needs to be.

We're gonna tell her.

- Yeah, I agree.
- Yeah.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Hannah.
- Hannah.

- Huh?
- Do you have a minute to chat?

- Yeah.

[suspenseful music]

- Hannah.

- Hannah.
- Hannah.

- Huh?
- Do you have a minute to chat?

- Yeah.
- All right, listen.

You might be
a little upset with us.

- And you--and you have
every right to be.

Bobs and I were
in the master cabin today,

and the master iPad
was going off with messages,

and I think Jason's phone
is mirroring on it...

and we saw a message
saying he was at the bar.

- That's why me and Max
came to find you.

- They were gonna come
and speak to you...

- We were gonna be like,
"Oh, hey."

We thought we were gonna
find you with him,

that it was gonna be a joke.

And then it was, like,
you were coming back,

and we were like,
"Oh, f---, joke ruined."

- We just wanted
to let you know.

- Oh...

To me, that's like
such an invasion of privacy.

Like, eight, nine hours
of you reading my messages?

Like, get a f---ing life.
Text someone yourself.

I've done nothing wrong,


- Hannah's response is weird.

Really bizarre response.

- All right.
- [indistinct], Han.

- [sighs]

- I really like Hannah
but, like,

from one minute to the next
she's, like, my best buddy,

and then she's, like,
all funny with me.

- Like, imagine if Lauren was
texting the primary--

- Or me, and--
- And Hannah found it.

- Yeah.
- She would lose her sh--.

- Hello, Lauren.
- Hi, how was the braai?

- You missed out, girl.
- I know.

- It was fun though.
- Cool.

So what's up?

- The primary had mirrored
his phone

to the iPad,
so all his messages to Hannah

were coming through,
saying that, like,

he wanted to meet up and stuff.

- That sucks.
- What sucks?

- That her personal business
is now the crew's business.

- Yeah, well, I mean,

if it's coming through
on the master iPad...

- I don't know.
It is what it is.

Those are personal messages

that were not meant
for anybody else's eyes,

and everyone has access to them?

I would freaking die.

All right, guys, good night.

- Night.
- G'night.

That's two insecure,
shady girls teaming up. Like--

- So maybe tomorrow
I'll just be like,

"Look, Malia
and I have discussed it,

"and you and Lauren seem to be
getting on really well,

and maybe it's just best
if you two live together."

- I think they'd be
a perfect match.

- We'll let nature
sort itself out.

- Yeah.

[bright music]

♪ ♪

- What can we stir up

- Another beautiful day.

- So much in this bag...

- Why don't you just put it
in your suitcase?

- You have to uncover

- Oh, I don't know
if I need my jersey or not.

- Sweatshirt?
Like, what do you call

what you play sports in?

- Sports jersey.
[both laugh]

- Lauren, I'm going.
- Oh, my gosh, I'll miss you.

I'm gonna come visit you.
- Yes, please do.

- Not Max, you.

- I'm just doing the rounds.
- I'm so gonna miss you.

- I'm off.
- Have a safe flight.

- It was nice meeting you.
- It was nice to meet you too.

- I'll look after her, man.
It's all right.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- Keep smashing it.
[indistinct response]

- [laughs]
Keep smashing it.

Having Emily come on board
is a massive incentive,

you know, just to get
my head down, work hard,

get this charter season done,
and just go home to her.

- Here again.
- Hellos and then good-byes

and then hellos.
- Hellos and then good-byes

and then hellos.

And then you'll be like,
"Why don't you just go away?"

- No.
- "Go back to charter season."

- You're not leaving me for
a long time after that, okay?

- All right, I'll see you later.
- Stay positive, please.

- I'll try.
- Okay?

- Positive vibes only, yeah?

[edgy music]

- I'm actually starting
to realize

how f---ed up this situation is.

Like, it's a violation
of my trust,

and it's a violation
of the trust

I need to have in a second stew
and the respect

that she should have for me
as a chief stew.

Captain, Captain, Hannah,

have you got two seconds
for a chat?

- Yes.

[edgy music]

- I don't know
how I'm going to work with her,

let alone trust her again.

Do you mind if we talk
in the master?

- Not at all.
- Thank you.

I just want to kind of
give you the heads up

of what's going on

about this charter guest
that just left, Jason.

We had kind of
an instant connection.

Obviously it's a charter guest,

so I try
and keep it professional

while he's on board.

On a late shift he pulled me
aside up here and kissed me,

and I did kiss him back for two
seconds, and then I went, like--

- Wait a minute.
It is not cool to respond

if a charter guest
hits on you.


- He kind of messaged me
on social media,

and we were texting yesterday.

- No matter what happens
on charter,

how many times
a guest approach you,

you cannot cross that line.

I don't care who approaches you
and wants to kiss you.

You do not allow it to happen.

You have to use
your common sense.

Maintain your professionalism.
- Yeah.

To make sure that this scenario
doesn't happen again,

I'm taking Hannah off the nights
so the temptation is gone.

- Thanks, Sandy.

- Jesus Christ, what is it?

- I was wondering if today
it could be my day

to take the boat off the dock.
- Absolutely.

- Let's do it.

Well, the worst thing
that could happen

is we could crash the boat.

- I'm glad you asked, Bobby.

- Thank you. I'm glad you're
giving me the opportunity.

- Yeah.
- Bugs, Bugs, Hannah,

could you pop down
to the main saloon for me?

- Be there in one minute.

- Okay, so I just had
a chat with Sandy.

I'm gonna swap you guys shifts.
- Okay.

- So she can do
backup lunch service.

- Cool.
- In terms of yesterday,

I would kind of expect you
as my second

and what I thought was my friend

to just kind of come and tell me
instead of spend the whole day

with Bobby reading
personal messages.

To me, that's kind of
a bit gross, but all good.

- The iPad is
the boat's property,

so anything that is on there

is open to the crew
of the boat.

What if it had been the charter
guest after Jason's charter

who'd come across
these messages?

This is a completely
fireable offense.

I do apologize, and that's why

I came and spoke to you
about it last night.

- Yeah, but you didn't come
to me and speak to me about it.

You got Max and Bobby
to come with you.

- I do apologize, and that's why

- I do apologize, and that's why
I came and spoke to you

about it last night.

- Yeah, but you didn't come
to me and speak to me about it.

You got Max and Bobby to come
with you, and it--

- Well, they wanted to be

they were involved in it,

so I just thought it was right
that we all come clean to you,

and that was--that was it.
- Okay, cool.

- I was thinking that,

because you and Lauren seem
to be getting on really well,

that maybe
she'd move in with you.

Might just ease everything

'cause I can tell there's,
like, sort of tension.

[tense music]
- Okay.

- I'll chat to Malia as well.

- Okay.
- Thank you.

- Lauren, Lauren, Hannah.
Maybe I crossed the line,

but at the same time, to do that
sort of an invasion of privacy

on a primary charter guest

who's just left you
a massive tip,

that, to me, is disgusting.

So I wanted to update
you on a few things.

- Okay.
- Firstly, I'm gonna swap you

and Bugs's shift.
- Okay.

- And, like, obviously the sh--

went down yesterday
with the technology

and the iPad
and things like that,

and I just had a chat
with Bugs.

I know where I stand now,

which is chief f---ing stew
and badass bitch,

so if you want to play
that game with me,

I'm not here to make friends.

I'm here to work,
so we're thinking

about maybe swapping,
so you--

- Cabins?
- Yeah.

- You'll come in with me.
- Really?

- Yeah.

- Yes!

- You look so--
- This is the best day ever.

about this room switch

is working out in my favor.

I don't have to room
with Ronda Rousey anymore.

I just want to know
which one.

- A lady never tells.
- I like that.

- Mm-mm.

- All right.
This is definitely gonna be

a way for me
to get closer with Hannah,

and we'll be able to see
each other more, really.

- Just so you know,
the charter guest,

he pulled me aside
in a corridor

and kissed me.
- Okay.

- And I kissed him back
for a few seconds,

then I went,
"Get professional, honey."

- Yeah.
- "Leave it till after charter."

- I have your back. I mean,
I had to pretty much, like,

defend you last night in front
of the two new roomies, so...

- Why, what were they saying?
- "Oh, that's so wrong.

I can't believe that."
- This is Malia?

That's f---ing rich.
- Yeah, right?

- Ah, yes, you definitely
shouldn't be texting

with a charter guest,
but making out

with two crew members
in the same night, oh, that's--

- That's totally on, you know?
- Totally fine.

- Bugs is moving in with Malia.

- Why?
- 'Cause everyone wants to sleep

with me on this boat, if you
haven't figured that out yet.


- We're all waiting, so don't
get any on [murmurs].

- I'm not changing

my f---ing roommate.
- Uh-uh-uh.

- All crew, all crew,
let's get into our whites.

- Get those dirty feet
off my bed.

- Maybe you should
have the top.

- Yea-eah.

- Looking sharp, deck crew.
- [giggles]

- There's the boat.
Are you excited?

- I'm very, very excited.

- Hi, guys!
- Welcome.

- Hi, I'm Sandy.
- Hi, I'm Wes.

[overlapping greetings]

- I'm Mark.
- Adam, pleasure to meet you.

- You too.
- Welcome aboard.

- Welcome to "Sirocco."
We're really happy

to have you on board,

and we can't wait
to see your tequila.

- I hope so.
- We're very excited about it.

- We'll work it out.
- We're learning about it.

So welcome.
Hannah's gonna show you around.

- Okay, thank you!
- Great.

- Cheers.
- Right?

- Wow.
- Yeah, yeah.

- So this is the main salon.

- This is amazing.

- The bar.
all: Yes!

- We'll just take
the tequila out

and leave
the rest of the luggage.

- A whole exercise area.
- Yeah, you can sit

in the hot tub, drink champagne,

and watch him work out.
[chatter, laughter]

- This is the easiest luggage.

None of them are my size.

- This is the master.
- Beautiful.

- We can all fit in that bed.

- Deck crew, deck crew, let's
get to our positions, please.

- Oh, I love it when the deck
crew get to their positions.

- You're gonna take command.
- Take over?

Here we go.

Yeah, we're good to go
to pull lines.

- All right, she's free.

- You walk it off enough
till Wes goes,

"You're clear to swing."

- I'm excited.
[glasses clink]

- We can put it straight in.
I'll feed it to you.

- Charcut-cut going
in your mouth-mouth.

- Bobby, all lines are clear,
all lines are clear,

free to move.
- Am I going to one on each?

- Got it?
- Got it.

I'm crazy nervous because

there's charter guests on board.

This little tiny switch is gonna
operate this massive boat.

Hopefully we won't be
hitting the dock.

- Are we taking off?
- There's movement.

- We got a female driver.

Here's what you're gonna do.

We're gonna straighten it up,

I'm watching my bow.
I'm gonna pull it out of gear.

I'm gonna thrust,
go back into gear.

- Wait, what?
Got it.

- Back into forward.
You're going astern.

- Bon voyage.
- Bon voyage.

- You just need
a little more practice.

- This one's not gonna fit.
It's so big.

- [laughs]
That's what she said.


- Let's kick
off this trip, yeah?

all: Tequila!

[upbeat music]

- That's as pretty
as Adam's eyes.

Did you see his eyes?
Holy crap. There he comes.

- Ah, there he is.
- Oh, speak of the devil.

- I like to do this
with the guests

when they first come on board,
just get a chance

to kinda get to know you guys

and what isn't on the preference
sheet that you want to eat.

- Cocoa Puffs!

- We have them.
- Did you get them?

- We have so many Cocoa Puffs,
you're gonna burst.

- The tea towel?
- No, the tea towel,

the backwards hat.
- Backwards hat.

- The apron, the Crocs.
It's like, dude, come on.

I've never seen a chef
go in front of guests

in what they cook in.
It's not professional.

- Your eyes
are absolutely gorgeous.

- Oh, I'm gonna go back
in the galley now.

- This might be pretty,
but this is a hot mess.

- Bam.

ETA 30 minutes.

- Yay, we didn't die.
Thanks, Bobby.

- What are we getting
for lunch today?

- I don't know, but I need
my black hat back.

It's my lucky hat,
and it matches my apron.

- You can have it.

- [giggles]

- Got it.
- Oh, dang.

What'd you do to it?

- What'd I do to it?
- Did you just sleep with it?

It smells like you though.
- Okay, don't excite yourself.

- Never say no to champagne.
It's just rude.

♪ ♪

- All right, Wes,
drop the anchor.

Four shackles.
- Copy that.

We've got four shackles
at the water line.

- Great. Good job, Wes.

- Max, can I please
get you up forward?

- What's that?
- He wants you up forward.

You and him are doing the slide.
- Wow.

What, he's actually
gonna leave Malia's side?

- Smell it.

- Smells like tequila.
- It's not tequila.

It smells like VeeV.

- It's got
a f---ing lobster on it.

- Now I just want to get off
this boat and go to Dallas.

- No crew members going through
your personal sh--.

- Yeah. That's something
I would do to someone

I really don't like or that
I want to screw over, you know?

- Yeah, exactly, yeah.
- Not, like, somebody

I'm supposed to
be friends with.

I'm just feeling
really over this crew

because, you know what?
We're all humans.

We all make mistakes,
but if they want to get at me,

I'll just give it straight back

because not one of them
are perfect.

Look, I'll just work with her.
- Yeah.

- I'm not gonna make her
life easy like I did though.

- Yeah.
- I'm not gonna go out my way

to make it hard.
- Yeah.

- [laughing]

- Really nice attitude
to carry yourself around with.

- I think so.
- People love it.

- Oh, I'm really here
to be loved.

- Got the transom, yeah?

- Got the transom, yeah?
- Yep.

There we go.

- Look at this,
all set and ready for fun.

[engine revving]

♪ ♪

- Adam, do you think I can
ask you a favor?

- Nope.
- No?

- I don't like any sentence
that starts with "favor."

- Do you think maybe when you
go and see guests,

you can take your apron off?

- No, hell, no.

- Okay, what about the cap?

- How about I'm gonna wear
what the f---

I want to wear
'cause this is my galley.

- Yeah, but you're not
in your galley.

You're in my interior.
- Sorry, Charlie.

I've been doing this too long
to be taking orders from you.

- I'm just suggesting maybe
a more professional approach.

- It hasn't slowed me down so
far in my professional career.

- I'm not asking him to go
and put a f---ing tuxedo on.

It's just ridiculous.

- Get over it.
You prance around

like you're perfect,
and you're not.

You're not even close, okay?
- That's right. I'm sorry.

Every f---ing meeting

it's the interior
is f---ing perfect,

and the chef's f---ing up,

- I'm pretty sure there's only
been a couple instances, so...

and they were my intention.

- Yeah, you intentionally
f---ed up.

That's so much better.
- It is, right?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- That's what I thought.

- Whenever you're ready with the
lunch order, that'd be awesome.

- So regardless, don't claim
you got it down, 'kay?

- I do have it down,

and I'll claim whatever
the f--- I want.

- Really nice attitude
to carry yourself around with.

- I think so.
- People love it.

- Oh, I'm really here
to be loved.

- Yeah, you've already
lost one roommate.

You thinking to lose
the next one?

- No.
- Seems to be working out great

between us as a result as well.

Smoothest chief stew-chef
relationship I've ever had.

- I really don't give a sh--
if you're sarcastic

or if you don't like me,

- You should give a sh--
about something.

- I'm not here
to keep the crew happy.

I'm here to keep
the guests happy.

That's what I care about.

- You've made that
very clear.

[edgy music]

- Next time on
"Below Deck Mediterranean"...

- Pick up your f---ing sword
and your armor

and choose your f---ing side
and go to war.

- Oh, hell, yeah.
- I'm done.

- Works with luxury clients
as a yacht broker.

- I'm sure she will be looking
at me under a microscope.

- For dessert you have
a watermelon

mint granita with fresh lime.

- Was this out of a box,
or was it something whipped up?

- I just think with, like,
me and him and me and you,

I just want things
to be neutralized, kind of.

- Why are you reading a primary
charter guest's messages?

- You shouldn't have f---ing
necked him as well.

- He kissed me.

- Oh, right, it don't
take two to tango?

- I pushed him away.
This is bullsh--.

[kissing sounds]

- I want you to pick
a lead deckhand.

- I don't know what to do.
- Not a choice anymore.