Below Deck Mediterranean (2016–…): Season 2, Episode 1 - Who's the Boss? - full transcript

- Croatia is the Med's

- Croatia is the Med's
hidden gem.

- Three, two, one!

- It's a beautiful coast.

It has, like, hundreds
of islands.

- Everything about this place
is just gorgeous.

- I mean, how can you not
like Croatia?

They filmed "Game of Thrones"
here.

- I put you in
the naughty corner.

I'm actually back
to do this again.

Surprise, bitches.



This year, I'm gonna try
a bit of a softer approach,

'cause apparently I can be
a little bit scary sometimes.

Don't tell me to take a walk
from my own pantry,

'cause that's just annoying.

But sweet don't pay
the paychecks.

- Last charter season,
I was super green.

I still am green.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Whoa.

- I asked you to put it
on the track--you said track.

- Go home, Bobby.

- When it comes to looking
for a perfect woman...

If we weren't here, if it was
a different situation,

you'd be interested.

- Um...
- I will find mine.



- When I'm on charter,
it is go time.

Don't even look at me wrong.

I'm gonna wear whatever
the f--- I want to wear,

'cause this is my galley.

I always go after what I want.

- Are you single?

I'm a chef.
I can't help myself.

- Think of me as
one of the deck boys.

I grew up with
five older brothers

who are super adventurous.

And I think I can take most
things that they throw at me.

- And I whooped your ass!

- 26, and I'm not looking
to be "wifed up."

- That's how you cause problems,
hesitating like that.

Being a bosun,
you got to please the captain.

You got to please the guests.

- Oh, my goodness!
It's amazing.

- I don't want to fail,
and that's my biggest fear,

other than snakes, is failing.
[chuckles]

- What about when
they're in a hot tub?

- No, no, no.
- I'm just one of them guys

that someone ask me
to do something, I'm like,

"Yeah, yeah, I'll do that."

And then I'll get there,
and I'm like,

"Oh, how do I do this thing?"

- Am I tucking you in?

I'm a very positive person.

Tomorrow's a new day.

- Always a new day.

- Seriously, somehow people
always drag me

into their issues.

You've been a bad boy,
haven't you, Wes?

- I've been very conflicted.

- Dr. Bugsy's job is done.

- I said a-boom,
Team Sirocco.

Team Sirocco,
chick-a-boom.

When I tell people I was
an NFL cheerleader,

they, like, assume that
I'm, like, some floozy.

But I'm not.

- People have a hard time
thinking that a female

could actually drive a boat,

which I find funny.

Always keep your eyes on me.

You have to use
your common sense.

I know you're used
to running the boat.

That's not gonna happen here.

Professionalism is everything.

- Stop, stop!
Sh--.

- That can never happen.
- Stop! Stop! Sh--.

- I'm not here to make friends.

I'm here to work.

- I f---ing dare you!

Being at sea makes
everyone nuts.

- Goddamn!
There's just so much blood!

- F--- you, bro.
- No, no, no, no!

- Anyone?
Anyone?

- I should just leave.
I feel like such a weak link.

- You can't become a leader
by being a dick.

[boat horn honks]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[lively salsa music]

♪ ♪

- The only time I've been
to Croatia

was for a music festival,

and from what I can remember,

I think it was a great time.

How are you going?
- Good, welcome aboard.

- Good, thank you.
- How was your trip?

- Good.
I came from France.

I'm Hannah.
- Sandy.

both:
Nice to meet you.

- I've been a yacht captain
for 27 years.

Boated from Bahamas,
New England,

Western Med, Eastern Med,

Red Sea, Persian Gulf.

Chartering has a lot of rules.

Being a charter captain,
I have a lot of rules.

It's really important
that the chief stew and I

have a good relationship,
because I ask a lot of you.

And I'm not a micromanager,
but I do observe.

- Yeah.
- And in this industry,

I have an image.
- Yeah.

- And I don't want
to ruin the image.

- No, that's perfect.

My one and only time that
I've had a female captain,

it really didn't go very well.

She was basically just
a micro-manager

with no self-awareness.

And if she's like that,

it probably
won't end well this time.

- Here we have
your two stewardesses.

- Ah.

This one looks familiar--
Lauren.

- I'm gonna let you go ahead
and sort out the uniforms.

This boat needs to be
turned around,

and we don't have
a lot of time.

So we're gonna do
a walk-through.

- Okay, excellent.
- Okay, awesome.

- [sighs heavily]

[driving techno music]

♪ ♪

- Every cabinet I open...

[plate clatters]

Needs organized.

- By the sounds of it, yeah.

On many super-yachts,

what you see on the outside
is absolute perfection.

Then when you start
diving a little deeper,

you realize it really
needs organization.

- Hello.
- Hi.

- My name's Adam.
- Adam, Sandy.

- Pleasure to meet you, Sandy.
- Welcome aboard.

- Hi, Hannah.
- Hi, nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.
- Oh, wow.

- Happy to be here.
Let's do some cookin'.

When I'm on charter,
I'm busting my ass.

But when I finish,
I live in a van.

It's the land yacht.

Hit highway one.
I go for a surf.

I chill out.
The plan's no plan.

What?
- Not a porthole.

- I got a window?

- Adam is like Jake Gyllenhaal

and Daniel Craig mixed together.

He's very easy on the eyes.

[funky music]

- Come on up.

- Stock it up.
I could get used to this.

Hey, there.
How you doing?

- Hi.
- Wesley.

- Hannah, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

- I'm the boson.
- Boson, okay, perfect.

You'll be sharing with the--
the chef.

It's really close
to the galley.

- Don't worry about that.
- Yeah?

- Yeah, I'm a pretty
good sleeper.

- We'll get you some earplugs.

- I'll be all right.
Don't panic.

- So what's going on?

- I know your job's
really demanding.

So when you have time to rest,
I want you to rest.

- I intend to.

- Come to me with
any of your issues.

- Are you the first mate?

- No, I'm the captain.

- Okay.
[claps hands]

I thought you were
the chief stew.

- Female captains are rare,

so this happens often.

And I'm not offended.

If the food sucks...
- Yeah.

- The charter sucks.
- Game over, yeah.

- No pressure.
I don't want to keep you.

- Perfect, I apologize
for misunderstanding

your position on the boat.

F---.

Pleasure to meet you, Captain.
- You, too.

- See you soon.
- Okay.

♪ ♪

- Not that way.
Hello?

- Hi.

- Hi, nice to see you.

- Is it automatic,
or do I push it?

I got to get inside.

Oh, there.

- How you doing?
Roomies, man.

- What's up, buddy?
Get on in here.

- Name's Wesley.

- Getting along already.
I love it.

- I've got some cheat sheets
and stuff,

but I'm just gonna wait till,
uh, the other stewardess comes.

And I saw your CDL.
I was like,

"I know your face is familiar
from somewhere."

I think I met you in
New York, didn't I?

- Yes.
- When I was there with Bobby.

- Hello.
- Welcome aboard.

- Thank you so much.
I'm happy to be aboard.

- Well, we have a lot
of work to do.

- Last charter season,
I made some really good tips.

I quit the fire department

and I got some braces

to get some new teeth.

- When I have everyone here,
I'll have a crew meeting.

- Sounds good.

Schnitzel.

I can't even say anything
with S's.

How are you?
- Nice to see you.

- Yeah, I know.
This is a nice boat.

- It's nice, hey?
- Hi.

- What's up?
- How are you?

- [giggles]
Nice to see you.

- I met Lauren at a nightclub
with Bobby.

She was one of his
three dates.

So I've got my fingers crossed

that she's better at her job
than she is at choosing men.

Come up and I'll
give you your uniform.

- Okay.

[upbeat electronic music]

- Is this your room?

- It's kind of lesser
of two evils, though,

'cause they're both tiny.

- I think the bottom
looks bigger in that room.

- All right.

- Lauren and I met in New York,

and we hooked up
and had a short little fling

for, you know, a month or two,

and, um, I recommended
her for the job.

That ended, and now
we're working together.

So I hope things aren't
gonna be awkward.

Are guys getting V-necks,
do you know?

Or do I have a chick shirt?

- Sorry.
I don't know.

- Ugh.

- I expect a lot,

so when I ask you
to do something,

it's important to me
that it gets done.

- Yeah.
My dad always raised me

to work hard
and follow the rules.

However, one time
I did push the boundaries

and got caught drinking
with my rugby friends

and got suspended from school.

[music wanes]

- When we're on charter,

this door is always open.
- Okay.

- So what happens in here
must look...

- It's a guest area, sure.
- Absolutely.

So you have a big job
ahead of you.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Watch out, the bulge is open.
I'm Lauren.

- I'm Bugs.
Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.
Can you say your name again?

- Bugs, like Bugs Bunny.
You know, bunny.

Just Bugs.
- Oh, my God, I love that.

It's nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, too.

My real name's
actually Christine.

But my parents used to call me
"little bug."

And, uh, it kind of just stuck.

- Where are you from?
- I'm from South Africa.

- Cool.

- I just finished up being
a chief stew

on a private-owned
charter yacht for about a year.

I decided to take a sabbatical,
do some travels.

And now, seeing as though
it's the end of the season,

decided this is the perfect
time to make a quick buck

before I get back
in the chief game.

You need help with anything?

- It's in French.
I can't read this.

- I think we can
move everything out

and then work our way
putting it all back in

in an even area.
- Okay.

[lively dance music]

- So that's it?

- How you doing?

- Bobby.
- Hey, there. Wes.

- Nice to meet you, Max.
Yeah, cool, cool.

I've got some things that we
need you to start up with

at forward.

How long you been
working on boats for?

- No, that's all right.

- I worked on two boats,

that haven't actually
left the dock.

But, you know, it's yachting.

How hard can it be, you know?

I can sit and watch the Eskimos.

Towel?
- So there you go.

- Have some fun.

- Well, who's this?

What's your name?

- Malia.
- Hi, Malia.

- Are you...?
- Nice to meet you.

My name's Adam.
I'm the chef.

- Nice to meet you.
- Yeah.

- I meet a lot of deckhands
over the last ten years,

and, um...

needless to say,
none of them look like Malia.

[laughs]

- Hmm.

[upbeat music]

- Hey, guys.
- Hey, how you doing?

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Malia.
- I'm Bobby, nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.

- My God, Malia is a total babe.

I'm in trouble.

So where you from?
- Hawaii.

- That's rad.

- Been teaching scuba diving
out there.

So I've worked on boats,

but I haven't worked
on a nice boat.

Just sh-- dive boats, so...
- Okay, no worries.

We all start somewhere.

♪ ♪

- Bugs.
- Oh, how's it--Wes.

- Good to see you again, man.
How you been?

- Oh, my gosh,
what are the chances?

We haven't seen each other
in four years.

That's insane.

[laughs]
We know each other.

- We went to university
together.

- What?
- Yeah.

- We might've made out
one night, God.

But there was probably
a lot of alcohol involved.

- Small world.

- Hey, we're gonna meet
in the main salon.

We're gonna have our meeting.
- All right, perfect.

Dangerous!
I told you!

♪ ♪

- All right, everyone,
welcome aboard "Sirocco."

I want to introduce
Mariusz and Bart.

Bart is our engineer.
Mariusz is the chief officer.

I have a reputation
in the industry

as a very successful,
professional charter captain.

And you'll find that
I'm not an asshole

unless you don't
follow the rules.

No drinking on charter.

That's just not gonna happen.

I've had meltdowns.
I've had fires.

I've had pirates chase me.

Any scenario you can
think of has happened

in my 27 years in this industry.

I don't want to hear,
"On my last boat..."

Leave it on your last boat.

That's it.

[sunny music]

All crew, all crew, we have,
uh, provisions arriving.

- Here comes my goods.

- Do you want to maybe tell them

we'll get a chain going?

- Okay, yeah, of course.

Oh, yeah.
Red Bulls!

Oh, man.
- Is that it?

- Yeah, we're good--love cooking
with stuff like that.

- All crew: my goal is to
be finished by 9:00.

- Copy that.
- Hannah, Hannah, Sandy.

- Go ahead, Sandy.

- Can you come to the bridge?

I'm far more productive
when captains just back off

and let me do my job.

- I love this.
You've done a miraculous job

in less than 24 hours.

- It kind of comes
in the job title:

chief stewardess.

- Do you think you can
be finished in three hours?

- Um... no.

[dramatic music]

[alarm beeping]

- Our anchor's not holding.

- Sh--.
- Look at that rock over there.

- What's up with the crosses?
People died up there?

- We got to shut this all up.
Sh--.

- Do you think you're going

- Do you think you're going
to be done on time?

- Um...no.

- Can I help you?
- [sighs]

- Seriously, what can I--
- Really?

- Yeah, show me.
Come on.

It's important for all of us
to get rest,

because we get grumpy,

and then we start
yelling at each other.

So it's a discipline
to get rest.

- I would never, like,
ask a captain to do cabins.

- It's not--it's about
being a team, right?

- If I gave her
a cleaning caddy,

I'd feel kind of sexist,

because I would never
do that to a male captain.

- We're gonna have this room
finished in one hour.

- Okay, guys.
In terms of being on deck,

if you say "6:00 on deck,"

I want everyone to be on deck
at five to six,

shirts tucked in as much
as possible.

Being a bosun at 25 is tough,

'cause you still want
the respect and the trust

of people who are
older than you,

but when you get off the boat,

you still want to be 25
and have fun.

That's, uh, my adulting
done for the day.

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Siblings?
You have family?

- I got a sister.
How about you?

- I have five older brothers.
- Oh, man!

I bet you it's hard for you
to get a boyfriend,

with them all--beating 'em up
probably, right?

- Yeah.

My mom and dad met
on a dive boat.

And I started diving
when I was ten.

It's a lot of fun,
'cause you get to show people

what's under the ocean.

Like, I had this lady,
and she's like,

"Are there sharks here?"

And I'm like,
"Bitch, it's the ocean."

[laughs]
Like, yeah, there's sharks.

Don't worry about saying
anything around me.

I've heard it all.
- [laughing]

- Bitch better have my money.

- I cleaned this room.
- How are you?

Did you?
- It's done, it's done.

- Oh, my God, Captain,
thank you.

I've never worked with
a female captain.

She's super hands-on,
and it's awesome.

- So what's your
yachting background?

- This is it.
- That's awesome.

This is my second.
- Cool.

- Yeah, that's cool.

Um, Wiz seems like
a cool dude.

- Who?
- Wiz.

- Wiz?
Like, Wes?

Like Wesley?
- No, it's Wiz.

- Oh.
- This is just a bag.

And then there's...
- Max, Hannah, Bugs.

And the brunette's name?

- Lauren.
- So you like brunettes.

- [laughs] Actually,
my last girlfriend was blonde.

- Not current girlfriend?
- No current.

How about yourself?
- Boyfriend, none.

- Well.

- Hannah, Wes, and Adam,

can you meet me
in the crew mess?

- Copy that.
On my way.

- Hello.
- Just getting started.

- I know, right?
- Right.

So, our first charter
of the season.

They call themselves
"The Tribe."

- All right.
- They're into fitness.

They're all around
the same age.

Primary owns her own
fitness clothing line.

- They would like to have
a tribal-themed dinner,

and they look like they're
a lot of work on the food side.

- A lot of dislikes.
- [whistles]

Eggs, dairy, meat,
and shellfish.

- Gluten.

- Got to cut out everything
in the food world.

To claim that
you have three, four

biological intolerances
to food

is absolutely bogus.

But it's a paying client.

Just shut up and do it.

- They all want to paddleboard,
snorkel,

and play with the water toys.

- That's right, we got a lot
of that on board, so...

- Yes, I want a finish time
by 9:00.

- I've got a message the--
- We're both working on it.

- Well, let's see.
We'll try, but that's our goal.

- Yes.
- Any questions?

- No, it's time
to rock and roll.

[claps]

- Probably a little different
than dive boat guests.

- [laughs]
Yeah.

- Are we going about this
at the right pace?

- I don't know.
- [laughs]

[sunny music]

♪ ♪

- Girls, Hannah,
if you could just meet me

in the main saloon,
that would be great.

Do you want to sit here
with me?

- I'll sit here.
- Okay.

- Okay, so do you guys want to
run me through your experience?

- I've just got over three years
in the yachting industry.

I worked my way up
to chief stewardess

after my second boat.

- And you enjoy it?
- I do.

It's a lot of pressure.
- Oh, I know.

See these wrinkles?
[laughs]

It doesn't threaten me at all
that my second stewardess

has been
a chief stewardess before,

because on this boat,
it's number one,

and then number two.

And what about you, Lauren?

- Um, I did charters
in the Caribbean,

and I just recently
left a boat

that was 205 feet, so 62 meters.

I grew up in the hospitality
industry.

My family owns a restaurant
in Fort Lauderdale.

And I just never really
excelled in school,

so after cheerleading
in the NFL,

naturally, hospitality,
Ford Lauderdale,

boom, yachting.

- Okay, perfect.
Um, so I think we'll put you in

as second steward.

Um, then, yeah,
we'll get you to be--

help us out as much as you can.

- Definitely.

- See very, very quickly,
I work hard,

if not harder than you,
but yeah.

if you do have
any issues at all,

just come pull me aside,

and I'm always gonna
have time to--

to have a chat with you.

- Awesome.
- Okay, thanks, guys.

- Thank you.

♪ ♪

- 9:00 yet?
- [laughs]

♪ ♪

- 30 minutes.
- 30 minutes?

- Throw all this sh-- away.

Fold those towels up.
Give me that trash can.

- Where am I gonna
put this ice cream?

- Where does this go?

- Do you want to just
pop them there for now,

and I'll just work out
whose they are?

- I don't want stuff
all over the salon tomorrow

when I wake up.

- With a 9:00 p.m. curfew,

this is really not gonna work.

- All right, we're gonna
take this cover off,

and we're gonna
stick 'em outside.

F---.

- I'd say
we're pretty much done.

Aah!

- Once you finish the cabin,

if you could detail
the hallway...

- Oh, wow.
Nice, good.

Deck crew, nice job
on the lazarette.

- Thank you, Cap.

♪ ♪

- Why are these f---ing boxes
everywhere?

Where does this go?
- Pardon?

That's--yeah, what do
you want to do with it?

- It isn't like you're gonna
sort it out tonight.

- I just prefer to put it away,
like, properly.

- That's not gonna be the case.

- When your mom told you
to clean your room,

you'd shove everything
under your bed.

It's not getting you anywhere.

As soon as you pull
that duvet over,

it's just all gonna
fall out again.

- Good first day?

- Uh...

last year, it was like
the alligator coming up,

like, "Rawr! Rawr! Rawr!"

- Yeah.
- And then this year it's like,

Dun-dun...
dun-dun...

- Yeah, when's
it gonna strike?

It's great to have a familiar
face back on board,

especially Hannah.

Last charter season,
we had some ups and downs

and some craziness going on.

So f--- you, and f--- you,
and f--- you!

In the end, we apologized.

We realized we're family--
brothers and sisters fight.

What do you think
about the captain?

- You know me.
Like, I'll be more stressed

if I'm in my bunk
trying to sleep right now.

- Yeah.
- You know?

Like, I just want to get
a few things, like, sorted.

Well, listen, I'm just gonna
smash this stuff out.

- Won't be long.
Mwah.

All right, sleep good.
- Night, honey.

Sweet dreams.

[tense music]

- It's getting there, Hannah.
- Mm-hmm.

- I want you to go to bed
at a decent hour.

You will not be working
till midnight.

- Sleep sounds amazing, as does
a self-cleaning boat.

- The reason I'm so successful
is because my crew get rest.

- [sighs softly]

- Night, ladies.
- Goodnight.

♪ ♪

- Smells good in here.

- I don't think disregarding
guests' preferences is okay.

- Enjoy.

[electronic dance music]

♪ ♪

- You guys, I got this list.

This is, uh, all of our numbers

for our clothes.

- I thought it said
"Wesley Adam."

I was like,
"Are we sharing clothes?"

- People are saying "Wes,"
but it's Wiz.

- Wiz? No, it's not
like Wiz Khalifa, no.

- Wes.
- Wes.

- Wes.
- W-E-S.

- I've been saying f---ing
Wiz all day!

[laughter]

- Come on, guys.
We are behind schedule.

[driving techno music]

♪ ♪

- Fruit's done, crackers...

- Bobby, I need to stock a bar.
- Okay.

- All crew, guests will be here
in 20 minutes.

- Got Hannah's shirts?
- Over here.

- First charter.
- The boat looks amazing.

♪ ♪

- There's the boat.
- Here they are.

- Oh, look at the crew!

- Here we go.
- Hi!

- Hi.
I'm Captain Sandy.

- I'm Melissa.
Nice to meet you, Captain.

- Nice to meet you.
Welcome.

- Thank you.
- Hi, Marcia.

Nice to meet you.
- Welcome aboard.

- Hi. Hannah.
- Hi, I'm Bobby.

We got a pack
of rich cougars onboard.

That's a good thing
and a bad thing, possibly,

'cause they could be
really mean cougars.

Attack!

Or they could be
really nice cougars

and just cuddle.
[laughing]

- So welcome aboard.

I have an amazing crew.

They're not only professional,

but they're very sexy.
[laughter]

Uh, Hannah's gonna show
you your cabins.

And we're gonna head
to the first anchorage.

- Whoo-hoo!
[laughter]

- Okay, guys, I'll take you
around for a little tour.

[electronic music]

- It's gorgeous.

- "Sirocco" means
"African Wind."

Very tribal.
- Very tribal.

- Oh, yes.

♪ ♪

- The aft deck.
- I love this.

- So beautiful.
- Come up.

I'll show you the top deck.

So I hear you girls really
like your fitness.

- Oh, my God!
That's amazing!

♪ ♪

- Through here,
we have the master.

- Oh, wow.
- Hello.

- Look at this.

- Monica, I could see you
wearing this.

[laughter]

- Through here,
we have the master bathroom.

- Wow.
- It's very bold.

- I feel underdressed.

- And then we've got
two double rooms here.

We'll have lunch when
we come to the anchorage.

We can do the paddleboarding,
Jet Skis--

anything you guys need,
it's never too much.

- Thank you.

- So I'm probably gonna need you
to do these two lines here,

if that's all right.
- Yep.

I grew up very disciplined--
got straight A's.

I'm not nervous to be green.

My goal is to move up.

- Okay.

- Perfect.

- No problem.

♪ ♪

- Oh, cool.
Fruit.

- You can go ahead
and release bow to stern.

- Start dropping lines.

- What's the distance
on the stern?

- 15 feet, small lines,
and on the bow.

Last charter season, I was
distracted by a cute girl.

I love you.
I-I do.

This season, I'm here to work.

I'm here to impress
the captain.

And if I meet a girl
in the process,

then win for Bobby.

- Okay, we're all clear.
We're all clear.

- I love it!
Fiona!

[horn blasts]

- God dang!

- Whew.

[stirring music]

♪ ♪

- Yeah.

Yeah.

- I love it.

Oh, my God.
- Whoo-hoo!

- All crew, we got some grub
in the galley.

- Can, um, someone
just make me a plate

and bring it to the bridge?

- I'll do that.

- It's delicious.

- So, Lauren,
how's your first day been?

- Been down here,
most of it.

- Mm-hmm.
- [laughs]

- Honey, we need
something to drink.

- Please?
Thank you, you're welcome.

- Bobby recommended me
for this job,

and even though
I am really grateful,

right now, I just want
to prove to Hannah

that I'm good at my job.

- This is on point.

- "Do everything.
No rice."

Hey, Hannah, real quick.
- Yeah?

- Um, each guest gets
their own Post-It note.

What they've ordered
goes on the Post-It note.

Goes on the rim of the plate.

That way, you guys know
where it's going,

and I know what to put
in the plate.

- I've never worked with a chef
that puts Post-Its

on the plates before.

I personally don't even want to
put fingerprints on the plates,

but one thing I've learned
in my career is,

do not argue with chefs.

- I just want to know what
the main course was tonight.

- I don't know, mate.
You know what?

You don't discuss
your f---ing menus till

they come on the f---ing
pot anyway.

- That makes sense, right?

- Yeah.
- Okay, cool.

[upbeat dance music]

- That's perfect.
- Cool.

- Thank you so much.

I love having a second stew

that loves getting creative,

because that's not
my strong point.

So I will delegate, and that's
what a good leader does.

- Are you guys ready for lunch?
- Yeah.

- Sit down whenever you like.

- Anchor away.
Anchor away.

Four shackles.

- Four shackles, copy that.

♪ ♪

All right, we have got
137 meters on deck.

- Okay, we're good.

- Oh, my gosh, look how
gorgeous it is.

Look at the colors.

- All right, let's roll.

- So we're missing Sharon.

- Oh, Sharon,
is she gonna eat?

- Where is Sharon?

♪ ♪

- Clear.
- Are we good?

- So we need to start with this.

- Bring the tracks out.
We can put the wheels on.

[mechanical whirring]

Yeah, so we're gonna have to
keep patient on this.

- All right.
- Well done.

[creaking]

- The wind is starting
to pick up.

F---, we're really close
to the rocks.

We're spinning around again.

- I'm down for that now,
after...

- Yeah,
'cause we got things to do.

[creaking]

- I'm just gonna
check the anchor.

[upbeat music]

- Look at that.

- Playing?
- We're starting to play.

- Oh, yay.
- This is--

this is play time now.

I don't even get fazed at this
point by crazy requests.

This one time, Jill Vedder,
Eddie Vedder's wife,

f---ing chucked a live octopus
on me,

and it just stuck on my arm.

She's like, "Now cook it."

[laughs] And I'm, like,
ripping this live octopus

off my arm, like, "Aah,
what do I do with this thing?"

- That's chicken and veggie.
- Yep.

And I cooked it and made
the best meal she's ever had.

I got a standing ovation
that night.

These two can go.
- The pressure's on.

- This is the fun part.

- Oh, thank you very much.

- That's with no chicken.
Just vegetables.

- Thank you so much.
- Thank you.

- This is ginger and lemongrass

in a Thai broth.

Some of you have chicken.

Some of you have
just vegetables.

Some of you have brown rice.

Bon appétit, enjoy.
all: Thank you.

- Goodness, the flavor.
- So good.

- This is delicious.

- And this is only
meal number one.

- [laughing]

- They said it's amazing.

They love it.
They--

- Yay!

- It's the first meal,
and no blow-ups.

No fighting.
So I'm hoping it's a sign

of things to come,
and there's not a dark side

to my little chilled-out chef.

- Okay, let's figure out
these yoga mats, guys.

We need to get these in.

- Will you pull this hose
out for me?

- Sure, I'll be right there.

[laughter]

[tense music]

[creaking]

Wes, Wes.
Can you come to the bridge?

We're dragging anchor.

- Copy that.

[alarm beeping]

- We're Jet Skiing today, right?

- Jet Ski Olympics, baby.

- Look how the boat's turning.

We're not gonna stay right.

We have to pull the anchor up.

- Right.

- The anchors are way too small
on this boat

to hold us in high winds.

If we don't move now,
it's gonna push us

to the rocks
that's around us.

- Look at that rock over there.

- What's up with the crosses?
People died up there?

- We're shutting all this up.
We're gonna shut this all up.

- Sh--.
[alarm beeping]

♪ ♪

[alarm beeping]

- We're shutting all this up.
We're gonna shut this all up.

- Sh--.

[dramatic music]

- Yeah, pull 'em both up.

- You're gonna jump in
and just make sure

we can make it out.

♪ ♪

- Is the anchor up?
- Port anchor as well.

- All crew,
we're getting underway.

- So what--what just
happened, sorry?

- Port anchor started dragging,

so none of them are
holding at all.

We're now going into port.

Time to get changed into
our red gear, then.

- It sounds like Sandy
has bigger fish to fry

than my interior,
which is a good thing.

- Good thing there's good food
out there, right?

- I know, right?
And good service.

♪ ♪

- Excuse me.

I just want to let you know,

we want you to enjoy your time
on this boat with us.

And the anchorage got
a little rocky,

and it's a little windy.

So we're gonna head
into the port.

Tomorrow I'm gonna find
the best anchorage

so you can play in the water.

- Okay.
[indistinct chatter]

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

♪ ♪

- [gasps]
Oh, my God.

I'm bleeding, sh--.
I cut myself somehow.

- Um, come here.
Come to me.

- It's literally a paper cut.

- No, it's good.
That's the kind--

- No, are you kidding me?
- Trust me, trust me.

- Salt?
- It's gonna stop bleeding.

I promise.
- My hand's bleeding.

- Okay?
- Oh, my God.

- You're fine.
Don't look, you're fine.

- Adam's adorable.

I think I'm gonna make excuses

to be in the galley more.
[laughs]

- I'm just gonna wash it out
with lemon juice

in a second, and...
- [laughing]

[techno music]

- I'm scared
I'm gonna fall over.

- Whoo!

- Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, no!

- Okay, guys,
get ready to dock.

- Copy that.

- Okay.

- All right, Wes, I'm gonna
want to start hearing distances.

- Copy that.
15 feet and opening on the--

based on our right,
uh, starboard side.

We've got two feet left,
and we're touching fenders.

Two feet left.

We're gonna bring this 155-foot
boat to a small marina.

There's a boat in front of us,
a boat behind us, a low wall.

And having a green deck crew
coming to a new dock,

if we get it wrong, it could
cost thousands of dollars.

So we've got to be vigilant.

- We need to lower the fenders.

- Okay, Malia,
you can go with those ones

as soon as you can.

Can I run this one forward?

- It's on the water.
You're fine.

- All right, Captain,
we've going to start

tying up now.

- Looking beautiful.

- Captain Sandy,
she's a boss at docking.

- Good job, guys.
Excellent job.

[sunny music]

♪ ♪

- We definitely got
some cuties onboard.

- Yeah.
- Who do you think

is gonna be the...

- The wild one?
- The wild one.

- Lauren.
- You think Lauren will?

- Yeah, I'll bet
she's wicked to go out with.

I bet she's so fun.

- Yeah, I've gone out
with her before.

- Sh--.

Yeah?
- Yeah.

- What, like a date, or...

- Oh, yeah, I guess
you could call it a date.

Lauren and I were pretty much
doomed from the start.

Hannah talked sh--
about me to her

at a party in New York.

Still dated for
a little while.

She screwed it up on her own,

and here we are.

- Did you bang her?
- It was good.

Um, I cannot confirm
nor deny that.

[laughter]

- You banged her.

[laughing]

♪ ♪

- How--where are we at?
- 20 minutes till dinner-dinner.

- Okay.

♪ ♪

- Very nice.

Hannah, can I help you
with anything?

No, I'm good.
Thank you.

- Gina, why don't
you eat chicken?

- Because it's foul.

Get it?
Like, fowl is...chicken?

- And basil...

A lot of people tell me that
I make it look really easy.

What they don't realize
is that I'm sweating inside.

I don't want you to think
that I'm just...it's all good.

Back here, I'm freaking out.
[chuckles]

Yeah, kinda like that.

- Oh, wow.
This is beautiful, Hannah.

- Nice, hey?

- Okay, so goat cheese first.
- Right.

- We need salad with
candied walnuts.

- That's correct.

- How much better could
this day get, actually?

- This is like a piece
of artwork.

- Gorgeous.
- For the salad tonight,

we have a goat's cheese
with roasted beets

and a balsamic glaze.

- Amazing.
- Beautiful.

- Thank you.
- Bon appétit.

- I love that there's
edible flowers, too.

I think that that's great.

[tense music]

- Smells good in here.
- Whew!

- Yeah.
- What I'm talkin' about.

They'll never know there was a
little knob of butter in there.

Don't tell anyone.

- I don't think disregarding
the guests' preferences is okay.

It's unprofessional, but I'm not
gonna rat out my crew

on the first charter.

[upbeat music]

- I'm not gonna lie.
This one is very similar to...

- I'm gonna change that
right now for you.

- [laughs]

- How's dinner going?
- A Cajun-infused sea bass,

succotash,
some creamless polenta,

and a tomato gastrique.

Okay, they can go.

- That looks
scrum-diddly-umptious.

- Okay, so ladies,
this is a Cajun-infused,

crusted sea bass,

uh, succotash,
and a tomato gastrique.

Enjoy.

- Delicious.

- What the hot guy's
name again, the chef?

[laughter]

- Does it seem like
they're eating their meal?

- They love it.
- Nailed it.

- Boom.

- We're going inside.
- Let's get happier.

- Hannah, Hannah, Lauren.

Is there anything else I can do?

- Yes, go get some sleep.

- Thank you, Hannah.

- Goodnight, girls.
- Goodnight.

- Goodnight.

- Can I get you ladies anything?

- Yeah, I was looking
for a big old blanket

and a lot of drinks.

- A lot of drinks!

- Like espresso martinis...

- Perfect.
I'll get right onto that.

I'm just gonna get you
a blanket.

Hannah? You know five
espresso martinis?

- If any guest asks
for espresso martini

after about 5:00
in the afternoon,

I'm gonna use decaf.

- Thank you, Hannah.

- Okay, Bobby.

See you in the morning, bud.
- Right, brother.

- Is this gluten-free?

[upbeat music]

- Thank you.

- Grace, the apples.
Don't stop--

- Oh, Jesus Christ.

- Would you ladies
like another drink?

- Yes!

- If this drink don't
knock them out,

I do not know what will.

Mama needs some sleep.

- 7:00 a.m. wakeup?
- Yeah.

- 7:30, top deck.
- 7:30, level three.

- What should we do?
Should we go to bed?

- Oh, I'm so tired.

- I'm actually hungry
for a snack.

- On holiday,
I'm gonna eat it up.

- How you doing?

- We might have to do
some nachos.

- Nachos?
A vegetarian nacho?

- No.
- No?

- All meat nachos.

[tense music]

- When you're out
with women like that,

they order a garden salad
with a side of dressing,

and then at 3:00 a.m.,
they're the first bitches

at the f---ing kebab stand,
I tell you.

Nachos coming up.

- Thanks.
- [sighs]

In my experience in yachting,

going to wake up chefs
is never fun.

♪ ♪

[knocking]

- Where's the bow line?

Supposed to be in your hand.

Come get me.
- F---.

[dramatic music]

- Like, starving.

- Those are edible flowers,
right?

♪ ♪

- Hi, sorry.

- What do you think?
Like, cheese, jalapeno...

- Cheese, eat, jalapeno.
- Meat?

- Yeah.
- Really?

- Yeah.

- What happened
to the preference sheet?

Are you kidding me?

[upbeat music]

Done, it's perfect,
just the way it is.

- Oh, shut up, stuff it.
- Couldn't change--

couldn't change a thing.

- Oh, you're talking
about the nachos.

♪ ♪

Are we ready
for some nachos?

- We are.
- Okay.

Enjoy.
Good sleep.

- How do we go from, like,
Veganville to...

f---ing nachos?

- I am a vegan,
but my alter ego is not.

- My alter ego is
a 16-year-old stoner.

[upbeat rock music]

♪ ♪

[grinder whirring]

♪ ♪

- Good morning.
- Hi, Captain.

- I want to know how
your evening was.

- Your crew is so nice.

- Oh, oh, thank God.
- Yeah.

- We're going to an anchorage
about 18 miles away.

We'll anchor.
Watersports.

If you need anything,
you know where I am.

- I love it.
- I appreciate that.

Thank you so much.
- You're welcome.

[electronic music]

- Deck team,
in position please.

- Where do you want me, Wes?
Bow?

- Yeah, bow.
Max, come back here.

- Hi, guys.
- I was just texting you.

- We can work our way up
from the stern to the bow.

♪ ♪

- Sh--.
- Stern line to oar.

- Bow clear.

- Oar line's off.
Clear to move.

- Thank you.

- Ooh!
Are we moving?

- Keep communicating
distances, location.

- Probably about 100 feet
to the vessel.

We are now all clear
of the marina wall.

- Good job, guys.

[bright electronic music]

♪ ♪

- Time to feast.

♪ ♪

- Yay.

- Yeah.

- Perfect, perfect.
Bring it now.

Monica just asked if
she could get a veggie omelet.

- Write it down.
- That's fine,

but can we do this--

- I don't care what you do.

Just get me little
sticky pads...

- This is the yachting industry,

not a burger joint, honey.

I'm not going out with a pen
and paper to take orders.

- See how this is beautiful,

'cause then we have
accountability...

- Yeah, that's fine.
- On both of our ends.

I don't want to be rude to Bugs,
but truthfully,

I've got a chief stew.

I don't need two.

- They're pretty much the same.

- Hey, crew, please get on
your watersports gear.

I'm on the bow, Captain.

- Drop the anchor.

♪ ♪

- All right, Captain, that's
three shots at the water line.

- Go ahead,
get the toys in the water.

- Copy that.

♪ ♪

- She's gonna be on the beach
with you setting it up.

- Okay, perfect.

We're gonna do
a signature cocktail.

- Give us a cool Hawaiian,
like, cocktail name.

- [laughs]
I don't know.

- You can think about it.
- Yeah.

- I'm kind of thinking maybe
I should just go for a nap,

and I can give Sandy
the chief stew position.

- You know how to drive
a tender, right?

- Mm-hmm.
- I think two people

can do the picnic.

And Wes and Bobby
stay onboard.

- Hey, Bobby, do you mind just
holding this line here?

- Just hand me the line.
We're gonna walk it around.

This is how we're
gonna be more efficient.

I got this.
You guys do the WaveRunners.

- Captain Sandy's
got an eye on us.

- Oh, that's the banana?

I'll fill that up.
- Should we leave that out here?

- But that could be a good thing
because, you know,

we're gonna learn her way

and so she doesn't get
mad at us, you know?

Happy boss, happy life?

[laughs]

- You want to start on the side?

- That's a beautiful thing.

That was, like,
the easiest launch ever.

- You guys like the view?
- Yeah.

♪ ♪

- Guys, Heather's coming in
for another run.

- Does anybody want
to ride the banana?

No, no pressure.

♪ ♪

- Cutlery's in here, okay?

- Sweet, thank you.

- It's out of gear, right?
- Yeah, in idle.

- I don't think so.

[smash]
- Sh--.

- We're just gonna
tie it off here.

Please shut it down.

This is the most green crew
I've ever had.

Let Hannah know you're here.

- Okay.

[upbeat dance music]

♪ ♪

- Whoa!
- [laughs]

- Max needs help.
- I'll get the girls.

We'll get everything in,
and then we'll just go in one.

- Perfect.
- We don't need to be like...

- All right.

- Lauren, Lauren, Hannah.
Get ready.

We're gonna go to the beach.
Now, now.

- What's taking so long?
- All right, ladies.

Are we ready?
- Thank you.

- Max?
At the beach?

- You're gonna love your picnic.

- Definitely got a interesting
way of managing.

- Oh, my gosh.

- Yay.

- You all right?
- Hey, Max.

- Everyone's having fun, and
I'm sweating my bollocks off.

- Such a glamorous life,
isn't it?

- Yeah.

Number one
beach picnic organizer.

- It's okay.
- [groans]

- Thank you.

- Where's the bow line?

Supposed to be in your hand.

Go back to the steering wheel.

You're in forward.

I want you to go back out there,

and I want you to practice going
in and out of reverse, okay?

We're limited with crew members.

I want her to feel confident
in handling that tender.

I want the bow line
in your hand.

Practice.
Go forward, go reverse.

- But, like, we're on charter.

That's not the time
to be training people.

- How is the food getting here?
- Uh, tender.

- That's how you learn.
Reverse.

- We're right in the middle of
getting the beach picnic set up.

Interior's counting on me.
I'm feeling very nervous.

- Come get me--I've got to show
you how to do it.

- F---.

[tense music]

- All right, so,

- All right, so,
here's what we're gonna do.

Ready?
- Oh, my God, poor Malia.

- See how this bow line's here?
- Yeah.

- I like that
the captain's so involved.

- You worked on a dive boat,
so you understand

how efficient one needs to be
on their own.

- I don't know how
she hasn't snapped.

- Adam, Hannah.
What's your ETA?

- I'm ready when you are.
Waiting.

It's all cold food.

- Legend.
Thank you.

- Don't stand there
and watch me.

Go find something else to do.

- Okay.

If I was chief stew,

Adam would never talk to me
that way.

- And that's how
you speak your mind.

- Sandy, Sandy, Hannah?

If we could get a tender run
quickly with the food,

that would be great.

It's not the time to be
giving lessons.

Can we not wait till
the guests get off

and we're not in the middle
of a beach picnic?

- Yes, ready to go
to the beach, guys?

- Yeah.
- Awesome.

All the guests are ready,
so they're just

gonna bring it all together.

- She's gonna send the food now,

at the same time
as the guests,

which is exactly what
I didn't want to do,

'cause I wanted everything
set up before they got here.

I really don't know
whether I'm gonna last

the charter season
with this captain.

Like, I'm getting annoyed,
which is really scary,

'cause it's day three.
- Yeah.

- This season on
"Below Deck Mediterranean"...

[all toasting]

- I absolutely love Croatia.
It's just so magical.

- This is why you let
the captain decide

where you're going.

- [screaming]

- It's my first time
in Croatia,

and it's awesome.

[laughs]

- We all live, drink, eat,

work together...

all: Oh!

I'm a yachtie.
It's what we do.

- They're not wearing
any clothes.

- There are unmentionable parts

staring right into my eyeballs.

- [laughs]
- Oh, no.

- You've got beautiful women.

You've got lots of money.

I feel like there
is some flirting.

I get distracted by the ladies.

- Well,
it's got onions all in it.

- Can we get another one
with no chives?

- Well, that's not gonna
happen, so they can f--- off.

- Sometimes the actions of one

have consequences for the many.

- We need somebody to help us
with a flight to Spain.

- So you're their travel agent?

- The sink is overflowing.
I need help.

Everyone saw.

- You have two co-workers

with your tongue
in their mouths.

- That's probably a bad idea.

- Is this like a threesome?

- I've never hooked up
with a crewmate.

It'll make all of us look bad.

- If I want to go around
and f--- everyone on this boat,

that's my prerogative.

- I kissed a f---ing whore.

- Thanks for your support,
Lauren.

Why don't you go f--- Ben?

- I'm being ostracized over
this whole Bobby thing.

It never ends well for the girl
that breaks girl code.

- Stop, stop!
F---.

I ruined it.
- Jesus Christ!

- That can never happen.

- I just give the guests
what they ask for

on their preference sheet.

- What's that,
a resting bitch face?

- F--- you, bro.
- No, no, no, no!

- Oh, God!
Woman down.

- Don't be a smartass.

- Don't tell me
what to do, Bobby.

- I feel this season,
you've been a lousy chief stew.

- Guys, you're now looking
at the new lead deckhand.

- You guys have had relations.

It's a conflict of interest.

That is Leadership 101.

- You cannot cross that line.

- Do you want to go speak
to Captain Sandy about it?

- Bobby, get over it, bro.

[glass shattering]
- Holy sh--!

- What was that?
- [gasps]

- Croatia doesn't deserve

all of this f---ing drama.

- There is blood everywhere.

- Suck it up,
and don't bring it on deck.

- F---ing kidding me?
F--- off.

[air spraying]

- [squeaky voice] Yeah,
this is definitely helium.

[laughter]

- For more on
"Below Deck Mediterranean,"