Below Deck (2013–…): Season 9, Episode 9 - When Eddie Met Sally - full transcript

Previously, on
"Below Deck"...

Due to a recent
bicycle accident,

co-primary Chelsea
will be coming aboard

with her jaw wired shut.

I don't think I could handle
having my mouth wired shut.

I'm gonna put a
little pressure on Jess,

and I'd love to put her
on service and you on laundry.

Where's she at?

- Should I just make my own?
- Yeah.

Oh, my God.

And I don't ever want
a guest making their own drink.



I know.
I think that I'm definitely

reaching my breaking point.

I don't... I... I mean...

I like you, but...

you said it in
the bathroom to me.

I mean, seriously?

Look at this.

I want everything scrubbed.

Okay.

Eddie needs to get control
of his deck team yesterday,

or I'm gonna start handing
out plane tickets.

This is bullsh...

This is your final wake-up call.

I wanna see
people being proactive,



or people are gonna
lose their job.

There are no more
second chances.

*BELOW DECK*
Season 09 Episode 09

Episode Title: "When Eddie Met Sally"
Aired on: December 20, 2021.

Look how cracked my
hands are getting.

I just don't want
the first hand-job I give

to be like sandpaper.

- Buongiorno.
- Buongiorno.

Mwah.

I'm kinda feeling
a little defeated.

My body's aching,
I'm realizing, you know,

that I'm just, like,
totally overwhelmed.

Like, anxiety's at 10,
I'm not enjoying myself.

I feel like Martha Stewart
in prison.

It's just
not working for me.

I'm gonna take this guy away.

- Quick like bunnies.
- Quick like bunny.

I'll start rinsing. And you
can just bring the stuff over.

So, if you're gonna do
the welcome towels,

I can set you on sky lounge...
good morning.

- Good morning.
- How are you doing?

Good, can you and
I have a chat, privately?

Sure, let's go down
to main salon.

Sh...

Good morning, how'd you sleep?

- I slept okay.
- That's good.

I really, really wholeheartedly
wanted to do this.

Yeah.

But my body is
just shutting down.

I could not anticipate
how taxing this would be

on my system, and my body
is just not letting me do it.

I'm really sorry, and I hate
to put you guys in a bad place.

I have to go.
I need to leave.

Obviously, I wanted to
fulfill my end of the bargain.

I'm leaving them
pretty high and dry.

I get it.

But at the end of the day,
I come first.

All right.
You have one hour to pack.

Thank you.

Go figure.

You look nice and rested.

Oh, you ****ing bitch.

Bravo, Jess...

leaving us three hours
before a charter

when I could have called
someone in yesterday?

Captain Lee, Heather.

I'm ****ing pissed.

Do you have a moment
in the bridge?

Heather, meet me in
the bridge in five.

Copy that, Captain Lee.

You wanna sit for a minute?

Because it's the last minute
we'll have for a while.

Jess just pulled me aside
and said, "I'm gonna leave."

Oh, my God.

Captain Lee doesn't
even know yet.

Am I shocked?

- No.
- I am.

As much as previously
I was for getting rid,

right now I'm feeling
the reality of the situation.

We have a full charter arriving,

and we have two stews
to do the role of three.

We're not in a good place.

This is really worrying.

- We've got this.
- Okay?

Okay.

As soon as she walked up in
her sweatpants, I knew it.

Ah, yeah.

Are you ****ing kidding me?

Safe travels
and stay in touch, okay?

Thank you.

I've got it.

I'm already putting these people
in a predicament by leaving.

There's only a few hours

before they're picking
up another charter.

Sorry, Heather.

So, I don't wanna make this
any bigger than it needs to be.

I just kinda wanna, like,
get my stuff, get out,

and let these people
go about their day.

As soon as we're done
cleaning up there,

put the jet-skis in the water,
put the rescue tender back out.

Is the rescue tender
up there, still?

Yeah.

Sorry, not sorry.

Don't let the passerelle hit
you on your ass on the way out.

All right, stop for a second.

Oh, I'm just gonna luff up.

Good, paying attention...

I love that.

Good morning.

How you doing, kiddo?

- Should I let you take over?
- Yeah, let me take over.

I just woke up to Jessica
coming out in her pajamas,

asking to chat.

Ah.

She's already walked her
sweet ass off the yacht.

She didn't even
gimme 10 seconds.

Okay.

I don't think I've ever
had a crew member

leave without saying something,

like bye, **** you,
go to hell.

I did expect more out of Jess
than just the silent departure.

This is as... ed up as
a Georgia road lizard.

Let me get Eddie in here.

Eddie, I need you
in the wheelhouse.

Heck, maybe we'll actually
get that $3,000 tip this time.

Yes, sir.

Okay.
I got some bad news.

Okay. What's happening?

So, our third stew just
took a hike down the dock.

She was just,
like, "I'm done."

Yeah.

That means somebody
from your crew

are gonna have to do
some heads and beds.

Can't I just, like, take my
stripes off and just put some,

like, single-stripe
stew stripes on?

It's all gonna be okay.

You have two seconds?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, um, Jess just
walked up to me

and told me that she could
never have anticipated

how taxing this season
would be on her body.

- Yeah?
- So, she's gonna depart.

She actually just
left the yacht.

Did she say "bye" to you?

- No.
- Okay.

She's a nice person, but if
you don't wanna be somewhere,

you don't wanna be somewhere.

- Yeah.
- That's how it is.

She doesn't wanna say goodbye
to anybody, I'm fine with that.

I like to say
**** you before I leave.

A vive la France
theme party with

an elaborate, 10-course dinner.

I don't play that game.
I'm out.

I'll start packing now.

Go **** yourself.

You know what, if
you're gonna bail, bail.

Thanks, Rachel.

This is some... ed up sh...

Guys, bridge deck
aft for a meeting.

- Copy.
- Okay.

Little bit of bad news.

Jess just quit
and walked off the boat.

It's unfortunate,
she didn't even say goodbye.

But it is what it is,

and we got a job to do,
so we're gonna get it done.

Yeah, it sucks she
didn't say goodbye or

anything like that
and just tipped out.

I wish she would have, you know,
at least waved, acknowledged.

I absolutely thought
we had a connection, still do.

It's unfortunate.

We're gonna have more
work because of that.

You know, they are gonna
need some help down below

doing heads and beds,
definitely in the galley.

I need that
from all you guys.

- Copy that.
- Okay. Yeah, let's do it.

Noon, but we're gonna be
leaving the dock at 10:00 a.m.

Yeah, same thing.

I think it'll be
a good charter.

We'll get it done.

What the ****.
I'm mad as hell.

I mean, it's gonna suck
to have a man down, but...

She was, like, one of
my best friends here.

We got a lot more
work to do now.

I thought she was gonna
thug it out, though, honestly.

Jess leaving is
the worst timing ever.

I feel like I'm having
other issues

outside of work that's
affecting my work.

And Eddie is just,
like, that shouldn't matter.

I'm just over it.

Like, absolutely over it.

Why does it have
to be my roommate?

Oh, this is gross.

All crew, all crew,
provisions is here.

Guys, there's a storm
that's about to roll through.

It's about to pour.

- Hey, buddy.
- Hey, babe.

Swedish hard cider.

- Hello.
- Morning.

Good morning, Rayna,
I didn't see you yet.

Perfecto.

Did you smell my basil?

Oh, wow.

Little bit.

This is ****ing nice!

Welcome to the Caribbean!

Oh, blown off.

I can't do anything
about the weather.

That just kinda
sums up the morning.

- It's so windy.
- I know.

Hey-ya.

Bring it down.
Keep coming.

We're in a really good spot.

I'm in, like, battle mode.

I'm ready to ****ing
screw this bitch, you know?

I'm 100 percent
with you right there.

Passerelle is on board.

So, we're gonna try
and get outta here.

It looks like it's easing
up a little bit.

Deck crew, get into position.

Eddie, get ready to hop over

and grab the tender
and the skis.

Copy that, Cap.

All right, let's
get outta here.

Oh, get the **** outta here.

Stern 20 feet off.

Port side 30 feet off.

Stern clear of markers.

Let's get the fenders in.

That's all fenders in.

What the ****?

- How are you feeling?
- I feel good.

You're still
vacuuming downstairs.

I've still got two cabins to do.

Should I just do that,
and then I'll come and find you?

Thank you, Fraser.

On my mark,
I want two and a half shots.

Copy that, Captain.

And drop.

Cap, that's
two and a half shots.

Okay.
Lock it in, Jake.

We ready for the slide?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I need a cigarette.

All right, you can bring
her down two, please.

If you wanna keep on doing
yours, I'll take this.

You do the white one,
and I'll do this, yeah.

Gotta keep running.

Crew search,
interior, third stew.

Where the ****
are these ****ing trash bags?

Ooh!

- Oh, is that your head?
- Yeah, it's my head.

Oh, my bad.

- Ah!
- Ah!

- Is that good?
- Yes.

Ah!

**** yeah!

That is literally perfect.

Attention all crew, we have
20 minutes till guest arrival.

- Let's go get changed.
- Thank you for my shirt.

It'll be a good charter,
it'll be a good charter,

it'll be a good charter.

Look at this water.

We made it, ladies and gent.

I need all crew to the aft deck.

Thank you.

Get your asses back here.

We've got people arriving.

Copy, copy!

We just need an extra tray.

I should never be
the first one here.

Come on.

Heading to our next
home away from home.

- You okay?
- Yeah.

- Well, hey, there!
- Hey!

You guys don't like
that hurry-up sh... , do ya?

There we are, nice job.

Oh, my God.

- Hi there.
- Hi, how you doing?

- Good.
- Hello!

- Mm!
- Captain Lee.

Chelsea, nice to meet you.

Welcome on board.

We're so screwed.

We have eight guests coming on
with a list of things to do.

Did I mention the lady
with her jaw wired shut?

Yeah, I'll get you one
as soon as possible.

I have to ask...
is that a broom?

Yeah, her name
is Sally, she's magic.

Okay.

And on top of that,
first charter

I've ever had a witch on.

I'm just hoping that
Sally and Rachel

can brew me up a new stew.

Coming up...

Eggs for breakfast.

Whatever we're eating,
liquefy it.

Like, what the ****?

Previously, on "Below Deck"...

Heather is gonna
show you around on the yacht,

and we'll get the party going.

- Hey!
- Thanks.

Cheers.

Well, let's take a tour.

Okay.

Oh, yeah.

Straw.

I'm gonna speak with her
before lunch service.

Okay.

I'm gonna be making
her purees and soups.

Works for me.

Okay.

We'll come on up this way.

I have two selections for you.

Exactly.

Amazing.

I don't know how anyone
could get their jaw wired shut

and then go on
a girls' trip.

This should be very...

interesting.

Where's everybody else?

Finishing uncovering.

Ah.

Guests are coming on board,
and you're still uncovering?

And you're not even
down a person.

You can't start out
a charter that way.

Then it's catch-up for
the rest of the charter,

and it only gets
progressively worse.

So, my patience level is
almost transparent right now.

All right, crow's nest.

We'll come on up this way.

So, this is bridge deck aft.

This is where you'll be
enjoying a lot of your meals,

if you choose.

Oh!

For obvious reasons,
this level's called the sundeck.

Oh... oh, God, my skirt's gonna
be flying up, I apologize.

- Let's give you space.
- I have underwear on.

And if you follow me up one
more flight of stairs...

Oh, nice!

Whew.

Mark that one down,
finishing uncovering your...

Well, they didn't see it.

Got it before they got up there.

Not good.

The master stateroom.

- Oh, my God.
- Wow!

It's so pretty!

I feel like if I have too many
cocktails, I might get lost.

We uncovered?

- Yeah.
- Yes.

Okay, let Wes know to
get in his blues.

- Wes.
- Yeah?

We're gonna go get
changed into blues.

- Copy.
- Double-time it.

- Yep.
- Double-time.

****ing hungry as sh--.

Lunch soon, maybe in, like,
an hour and a half or so.

What are you thinking?

Of course.

I feel like we're all gonna
get, like, killer calves

and thighs at the end of this.

Hi.

Hi, I'm so sorry go
hear about your injury.

So, for breakfast...

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

We've tried, like, whatever
we're eating, to liquefy it...

Right.

And see how it goes,
so she can enjoy

- the same stuff we're having...
- Right.

But just do the transition.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

I've had a guest had a
jaw wired shut before.

They have to
eat constantly

because the fact that they're
not ingesting solid foods.

It's a lot.

I'm, like...
I'm so bummed about your food...

- That's okay.
- But I'm...

I get to taste it liquidly,
you know?

But now I'm finding out that
she really actually

wants every single
course that all the guests have

blended in liquidized form.

Like, what the ****?

- Yeah.
- It's our pleasure.

Come on, girl.

If you can stand in the rain
and in the wind,

in Oregon, then you
can definitely do that.

Is she here to clean?

Maybe she's the new stew,
who knows.

She definitely seems like
she's, like, clairvoyant,

so maybe she just got the
memo before any of us did.

I'm oddly turned on,
in a weird way.

It gets ya going, huh?

Like, oh, yeah, you gonna
spank me with your magic broom?

Is that what you like, yeah?

Oh, Sally.

****ing weirdo, dude.

You play this whole nice
guy act, but in reality,

you're just a plain old
freak, aren't you?

There's a little
hole in the glass.

I think there's a
slow leak in it.

Oh, gosh.

I might have a little leak, too.

Have you got one too?

Right, leaks all around.

- Thank you.
- Glad to help.

Just for those leaks.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

No worries.

- Cheers, girls.
- Cheers!

We made it.

I'm gonna quickly
run down and change.

I just wanted to let you know,
then we'll swap out.

- You look beautiful.
- Huh?

- You look beautiful.
- Thank you.

All right, you go.

Eddie, Eddie, Lee.

We should probably pop
that snubber on, please.

Copy that.

Can I do it?
I'm great at it.

You can do it, and I'll watch.

Yeah, cool.
I like that.

I'm gonna set up all
the cheese out here.

Hey, deck crew,
when someone has a chance,

would they help me move
one of the chairs

out of the way so we
can set for lunch?

Rayna's on the way.

Copy, thank you.

Ugh!

I don't know why you
guys have been putting

that chair at the head
of the table...

Just behind your bar, usually.

Yeah, thank you.

We're short-handed,
so I appreciate it.

This is perfect, thank you.

Hummus and some fresh pita,
but the pita's not gluten-free.

- Okay.
- So, just note that.

I'm scared, I'm scared!

Don't be a ****ing pussy.

Come on...

Oh!

Come on, do it again!

Give it to me, Cheffy!

Oh!

No.

Should have known.

I'm sweating like a
bulldog right now.

Chef Rachel, I'm sitting
the guests at the table.

Copy.

Could I offer you
a papadam or a naan?

Oh, please, thank you.

That's really tasty.

Oh, what are the little
sauces with it?

It's really good,
it's like a mint pesto.

It's so good.

- It's really good, yeah.
- It's really...

Michael, you wanna
try the coconut?

It's very good.

Yeah.

Do you wanna go take
a break and come back?

Aw!

Coming up...

****ing amateur hour. Heather is
gonna show you around on the yacht,

Yeah.

Do you wanna go take
a break and come back?

Aw!

Since we left this
morning, right?

- Fraser?
- Yes.

Yeah.

Thank you so much.

- Heather?
- Yes.

Primary urgently needs food.

She says she really
needs to eat now.

Everyone's freaking out at
the table, so can we get...

I don't know
if something's coming up.

She's like, literally now.

We've gotta get
Chelsea some food first, y'all.

We've all eaten,
our darling hasn't.

The reason we're here,
she hasn't, because of her jaw.

So, we're trying to get
her some food right now.

Primary needs to eat right now,
right this second.

She wants hers in her glass.

She has not...

That's what I'm doing right now.

Oh, I bet.

It's on its way now.
It's on its way.

Okay, yeah.
Her first, always.

- Of course, of course.
- Yeah, thank you.

What's going on?

I need to eat.

I'm gonna go with this first,
and then go from there.

- Okay.
- Okay.

She just looked at me and
said, "Her first, always."

- So, primary always.
- Okay.

Always serve her soup first.

- Yeah.
- Got it.

- That's ready to go.
- Beautiful.

And then I'll plate them now.

Cool.

Just tell her that it takes
a little while for me

to keep straining it
and straining it.

Okay.

- Ooh! - Yay!
- Thank you. - Mami!

Our sincerest apologies.

She was just straining
it a bunch.

No worries, thank you so much.

How are you guys doing?

- Lovely.
- Good.

- Amazing.
- Perfect.

How is it?

Is it savory?

For your first course,
chilled butternut squash soup

with dukkah spice.

- Yum!
- That's delicious.

So, delicious.

- You okay?
- Yep, you okay?

- I'm ****ing swell.
- Swell.

As first officer,
I've got someone down,

it's my responsibility
more than ever

to kinda get in there
and help out.

I wash dishes all the time.

I don't have a dishwasher
in my apartment.

Could I get a glass of OJ?

Copy that.

I knew you weren't just
another pretty face.

I don't actually work here,
I'm just a model.

Hair model?

My first job was a
dishwasher at a yacht club,

scrubbing pots and pans.

- Beautiful, thank you.
- You're welcome.

Worked on dinner cruise boats,
cleaned up vomit and poop.

Good times.

- Did you enjoy that?
- I did, thank you.

- Beautiful.
- Thank you.

This is taking a few minutes.

Would you mind blending this?

This is gonna be interesting,
to be honest with you.

It's important to keep
hydrated, my friends.

Like, we could just roll
right into dinner right now.

- I know, truly.
- Yeah.

It's really a hard process.

I have to add liquid
to emulsify it,

but at the same time, too,

I can't lose the integrity
of the flavor.

It's not just a hey,
I'm gonna toss your sh...

In a blender and ****ing
serve it to you with a straw.

There's more.

- Yay!
- Thank you.

Wow, oh, my gosh.

Round of applause for Rachel!

Woo!

Thank you, everyone.

This looks beautiful.

It's gonna take me just a
little bit to get used to, like,

doing this with the courses,
but I'm actually really excited.

There's lobster in there.

Awesome.

You've got a lobster smoothie.

- Enjoy.
- This is fabulous.

- Yeah, it is.
- Good, Chels?

Yeah, it's just like
what we're eating.

That's good.

So delish.

Yeah.

I could do with a little break.

Or just a cigarette.

Yeah, man, this sucks.

I wish Jess stayed.

You guys are annoying
as ****.

I hope she's a lesbian.

Not for me, just so you guys

don't even have anything
to be excited about.

Oof.

I think I'm heading
towards a food coma.

Really delicious.

Can I get you ladies anything
else at the moment?

I think we're gonna
probably try and...

Jump in and...

Go down the slide and
get into a jet-ski, and...

Oh, heck, yeah.

I'm gonna go put
my bathing suit on.

Guests are about
to start getting ready

to do some water sports.

Copy that.

You wanna go on a jet-ski, baby?

Who's driving, you driving?

That's what I'm talking about!

Have fun, girls!

Ah!

I love it.

Ah!

Ah!

Yeah!

Woohoo!

What the ****?

Oh, my God.

What'd you do?
Something gone missing?

****ing amateur hour.

Something gone missing?

Rayna's on the swim platform.

She should be taking
a mental inventory all the time,

make sure we're not having
a $25,000 piece of equipment

just go floating off
into the sunset.

Bush league sh...

How was that clipped on?

- How it normally is.
- No, it wasn't.

I don't know.

I keep waiting to see
the white wizard walking down

the passerelle with his
blue sunglasses on, just...

What happened there?

- Down clip.
- I'm assuming so.

God, don't let him come out.

Turned out to be a pretty day.

Thanks for the eyes.

- Make sure it's clipped on...
- No, it...

And keep your eyes out for it.

Eye on it, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because I should not be the
one to have noticed that.

Yeah, very true.

All right, are you ready?

We have three parties
to throw tonight.

We're gonna pack for
the beach party,

and then I need to start
setting for the pink party,

and then I've gotta set
for dinner,

and then we gotta
set the beach.

Why do we let them decide
what they do?

- Oh, my God.
- Who's going to the beach?

- Me and Jake.
- Then pack up.

- Is that ice?
- Yeah.

- I'm ready.
- Go for it.

- Gracias.
- Get it, get it, get it.

Wes is, like,
cheering inside.

He's like,
"Thank God, it's my boat."

Going crazy, I get the boat
to myself. **** yeah!

Never been this happy.

We'll just leave
it all here for now.

Yikes.

and it's gonna be a
massive rave, basically.

I'm a little bit jealous,

because that is
my favorite kind of party.

Music, hot girls,
get absolutely wankered.

****ing hell, I wish
I could do that.

Thanks, Eddie.

You have, like,
the s'mores here,

or drinks here.

And Jake here.

Sick.

Wes, Wes, Eddie.

Hey, Eddie, I'm ready for you.

Go ahead.

Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, Rachel.

Yeah, go for Eddie.

Hey, Eddie, I was gonna
ask you a question

about the oyster-shucking.

I'll be on my way.

It's gonna be, like,
a full circle,

do you think, or just a half?

- Half.
- I think so too.

Goddamn it, you son of a bitch.

Hey!

So, I know that it's not
a great night to do it.

I need to shuck oysters today.

Okay.

For dinner at 7:00 on
the table, automatically.

You know, I grew up
on the East Coast.

Baltimore, we love our oysters.

Oh!

Hello, girls.

Shucking oysters are dangerous.

Really easy to put a knife
through your hand.

Ow.

And I've definitely shed
some blood on oysters

**** yeah.

That was a tough one.

Imagine Cap just looking at us?

He probably is.

So, what you've gotta do
is you've just gotta

walk around, you've just
gotta do some pointing.

Like, like that.

Like, pretend your working,
oh, yeah.

Yeah, you know he's
looking through the binoculars,

- like oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
- I know.

There we go.

This is cute as ****.

Come on!

Can you **** off, please?

One and one-half,
one and one-half.

Blimey.

I feel like I'm blowing
up a condom.

What's going on?

Yeah, of course.

No, you're good.

No, I've got...
I've got all the time in the...

- Okay.
- Hi!

Yeah.

Of course, it'd be a pleasure.

That'd be great.

I've got this pink party,
I've got silent disco,

I've got a bonfire, I've got
a lady with her jaw wired shut.

It's honestly...

that's why we're here,
because we love to do that.

Let me stop the world,
make you your latte,

and get right back to it.

Marvelous.

Rachel, she's ready to stand.

- You think so?
- I think so.

You wanna be in the sun?

Like, what's up with you, girl?

She can do it.

She's doing her best.

For the master, and lattes
I have to make right now,

while I'm blowing up
balloons for the sky lounge.

So, call me if you need me.

Loving it.

Let me know if you
need any help, okay?

I just finished up with the...

Yeah, blowing up some
balloons in the sky lounge

- would be awesome.
- Perfect, gimme...

Very nice shirt.

I applaud you, Michael.

All right, balloons!

Some of them blow up
really weird.

Like what?

A condom.

Oh, not the titty one,
just all the pink ones.

Oh, it's a titty one? Oh.
I'm looking at this...

You're looking like, what?

It... it's... it's brown,
two circular shapes, yeah.

So, that's the oat milk one.

Enjoy, of course,
pleasure's all mine.

Oh, this breeze is nice.

Oh ****.

Oh, scheisse!

- No!
- Grab it!

Wait, we could use Sally
to get it down.

Yeah, where's Sally?

Here, Sally can help.

Brush her down.

Oh, yeah, you got it.

You got it, you're almost
there, sisterella.

Yay!

Woo!

See how powerful Sally is?

Eddie, Eddie, Jake,
we're done here.

I'll come and pick you up soon.

Die!

- Bug?
- Spider.

That's just really fun.

If you can't have a cocktail,

you might as well have a
puff of helium!

Well, that's not right.

Wes! Wes!

Wes, Wes, Eddie.

Yeah, Eddie, go ahead.

Can you come to the
swim platform, please?

Copy that.

Oh, he's towing the jet-ski.

Don't tell let me
it got loose again.

How?

Wes, pull that ski in and get it
the **** outta the way.

Okay.

Look like a bunch of
...ing idiots.

This doesn't happen
two times in one day.

I don't know what's going on,

but I'm starting to feel
that maybe

having a Wiccan on board
has something to do with it.

We could be cursed.

How'd it unclip?
Just randomly unclipped?

It back-clipped itself.
I watched it.

Like, I'm like, that line's
kinda leaning off weird,

and there was just, like, clip.

I guess I shouldn't have
talked sh... on Sally,

because I feel like Sally now
is coming back for vengeance.

That's why everything
is going wrong.

Woo!

Gimme that line over here.

Eddie said he watched
it unclip itself.

It doesn't, unless it's
not clipped to begin with.

It back-clipped on itself.

I watched it come unclipped.

Thirty-five years,
I've never seen it.

Eddie can try and tell me all
he wants about back-clipping,

but I think
it's somebody's inattention

to detail that
caused the issue.

That's pretty lame.

I watched it fall off.

That's bullsh...

Coming up...

- Okay, let me go take that
right back down. - Thank you.

**** my life.

It back-clipped on itself.

- No.
- I watched it fall off.

That's bullsh...

Talk to a hundred
****ing captains

and ask them how many
****ing jet-skis

they've lost to back-clipping.

It's an excuse for
sloppy seamanship, period.

Hi, Captain, how are you?

How you doing, sweetie?

- Sh... ty.
- Sh... ty?

Sh... ty.

We look like a bunch
of ****ing idiots.

When you're done back there,
Eddie,

come on up to the bridge.

Copy that, Cap.

Goddamn it.

Here you go.

So, get this sh...

- Coming to pick you guys up...
- Yeah.

And ****ing I watch
as a jet-ski unclips

and ****ing
starts floating off.

Yeah.

There's something wrong
with that clip,

and I clipped it exactly...

No, it wasn't that...

it wasn't that clip,
it was a different clip.

- Oh, wow.
- It was the one that...

Oh.

Hi, ladies.

Can I get you anything?

Sure.

Beautiful.

Can I get a pillow
over here?

How about a big pillow?

♪ Doo, do do do do do

So, start getting
the toys in, guys.

- Yep.
- Yes, sir.

When I get back from
the principal's office...

- Copy.
- We'll talk.

Sorry.

Did you hook them up?

- No.
- I didn't think so.

I did watch them
unclick, unclipped.

Explain to me how
this happens again.

So, with this,

if it comes back
on itself and tightens.

Give this to me again.

And that's metal-on-metal.

Captain Lee just
doesn't seem to wanna

listen to my point of view.

You know, I did major
in adventure education.

Also, I'm the ****ing
first officer.

As far as I'm concerned,

I'm chalking it up
to human error.

- Okay, Cap.
- Okay.

Deck crew, deck crew,
I'm gonna get the davit set up

to haul some jet-skis.

See if they can get 'em up
here without losing them.

Yep.

All right, here we go.

Flipping it, huh?

Oh, my God, it's so pink!

We'll just lift it.

Oh, yeah, because that's
the smarter way.

Don't let the sun on my face.

Don't let the sun
go down on you?

That'll do just marvelously.

Hey, Fraser, do you just
wanna grab a quick bite to eat

and change into your black?

Copy.

- Did I snore?
- Nope.

Let's get into our blacks.

Yeah, and there's
dinner downstairs, too.

- Thank you, darling.
- Perfect, thank you.

I'm Black as **** bro.

Get showered and blacks.

- Do you want...
- Oh, blacks.

- Yeah.
- Um...

Oh!

Oh, my glasses.

That absolutely has to
be part of the outfit.

- So pretty.
- So are you.

Hey, mate.

Today has been
the longest day of my life.

There are times I can
see it on your face.

And now I've got pink party.

- No, dinner...
- Pink party, then disco.

- No. Yeah.
- No.

We've got beach...

This day has not stopped.

My legs hurt.

Like, I can't feel my feet.

I am losing my mind.

But you know, we're going
to do what we do best,

and we're going to make
magic happen, somehow.

You know what,
I give up, I don't know.

Another day,
another ass-reaming.

It's not fun, dude.

Back-clips happen;
not that often.

Twice in a day?

That's ****ing weird.

I go to bat for
you guys, but

don't put my ****ing head
on the Goddamn chopping block.

I don't know how I just
pulled this party out of my ass,

but everything's pink,
the table is set.

Now I need to start
packing for the beach.

All of your help.

What time do you wanna go
to the beach?

Let me just eat food...
brain power...

and I will get back to you.

I know, I get your point, but...

You mother... er.

Gor-geous.

This is adorable.

Oh, my gosh,
I love that dress.

Hi, beauty!

Good evening.

Look at her, Miss Pink.
Beautiful.

It's a pink party!

Eddie, tonight before
dinner, I just need somebody

to help me stage the platters.

- Copy that.
- Copy, Rachel.

- Rachel...
- Hey, sweetie-pie.

- I love you.
- Yay!

- Yay, hi.
- Give me a hug.

So, let's lay the
sea glasses down,

and we're gonna put all
the oysters on it in a minute,

- and then dry ice.
- Perfect.

I'm very excited to
be in the galley.

For Thanksgiving,
I'm in charge of the turkey.

I love cooking.
It's a huge stress-reliever.

Let's make sure
that the lights come on.

It's sad, but the only time
that I'm happy

is at night in the galley.

So, it's great.

- Ah!
- ****

Oh, bad varnish job.

Would anyone else
like a pink straw?

- Anyone want a pink straw?
- Yeah, sure!

Thank you.

- Cheers.
- Happy birthday!

Mwah!

Every time we're going
into service for this group

it's an arduous process.

I have to blend her stuff up for
her to suck it down a straw.

And that's some stupid sh...

So, for the first course,
cucumber gazpacho.

Go ahead and start
filling them up.

I'm gonna start
plating the platters

with the seafood right now.

If the guests are happy,
makes me happy,

makes everybody
a happy chappie.

So, this is a
cucumber gazpacho...

- Ooh, nice.
- Made with

- coriander and mint.
- Enjoy!

- Really good.
- Yum!

Delish.

Okay, let me go take
that right back down.

- Thank you.
- My apologies.

Go ahead and grab that platter
of oysters over there, Rayna.

Awesome.

She needs it to
be strained more.

**** my life.
It back-clipped on itself.

Then we're gonna
go ahead

and juice some lemons
and the oranges.

Oh, my God.

She needs it
to be strained more.

This can eat a ****ing dick.

Ugh!

Mm, delish.

Okay.

Fraser, can I get you to
the galley for service?

Copy.

She gave it a strain again.

- Thank you.
- My apologies.

- It's better.
- It's strained?

Good.

- Ready?
- Yeah.

All-in-all, pretty good.

- Wow.
- Wow.

Look at the smoke.

You have oysters on
the half-shell

with a mignonette, and then
you have stone crab claw.

Thank you.

- I can't do it.
- Try it on the other angle.

Ah!

- Oh, yeah.
- You got it! You got it!

- This is so good.
- Very good.

- It's very good.
- Mm-hmm, delish.

Jesus, look at the
size of this thing.

That's an attention-getter.

Eddie, Eddie, Fraser.

Yeah, go ahead, Eddie.

Do you have any crew
that could

lend a spare hand in
housekeeping?

Oh, my God, I'll do it.

Yeah, coming.

Have a good night, Cap, I'll
see you in the morning, okay?

- Mm.
- So good.

I know.

Oh ****ing awesome.

When you pick up all the towels
that have been used...

Yes.

If you see any plates
or any cups or anything,

could they just go to
the galley pantry?

- Yeah.
- Thanks, guys.

You're gonna get food right now.

No, I'm not.
I'm just saying...

- You're gonna get food right now.
- Yeah, liquid.

Sorry, I'm in, like, focus mode.

Go ahead, turn the juicer on.

We'll put that one through.

Heather, can we get some liquid
food for Chelsea ASAP?

- Of course.
- Like, right away?

- Yeah, of course.
- So, take these off...

Rache, they just stopped
me and said

we need to get Chelsea
food, like, right now.

I could grab her
chicken right now.

****ing nightmare.

Oh, why tonight?
Why?

- A hundred percent.
- Yeah, 100 percent.

Oh, I cannot believe
that happened.

Absolutely.

Do we?

I'm not sure about that.

Take your time.

Yeah, but you know what,

unfortunately, that's not
where we're at right now.

Later this season
on "Below Deck"...

All systems go.

Hey!

Please keep all legs and
arms inside the vehicle

unless you're Jake and Fraser.

Then go ahead and
proceed to ****.

It's just always good to
have a good old finger-bang

before putting it in,
you know?

Are they having a
threesome in Rayna's room?

I think you
guys deserve a day off.

Praise Jesus!

Ha ha ha!

Cheers, everybody.

It's Jake's dick o'clock.

The love triangle is weird.

Can we have a baby,
all four of us together?

That would be the
most... ed up baby.

Mm-hmm.

The power of Christ compels you!

The power of Christ compels you!

We do have a new stew
that'll be joining us.

You gotta train her, you gotta
get her familiar with the boat,

all while we're in
the middle of service?

Son of a bitch!

I don't think that
was the best idea.

- It's not.
- Well, what do you want?

You want no help at all?

It was her and nobody else.

I do firmly believe
that the deck crew

is spending way too much
time doing nothing.

Get it in there, boy.

Hello.

Hm, this is interesting.

- Today? Right now?
- No.

Was somebody gonna
ing tell me?

Obviously, Rayna's
upset about it.

From the bottom of my
heart, I'm so sorry.

I should have never said it.

Woo!

I've heard this whole experience

is like doing anal for
the first time.

Jesus, that burns!

You're trying to smile,
but all you feel is pain.

What the **** is that
mother ****ing thing?

Ooh, ooh, ooh!