Below Deck (2013–…): Season 9, Episode 5 - Leave Your Emotions at the Cabin Door - full transcript

Previously, on "below deck"...

Rayna, can you be a
bit quicker, please?

I'm bringing all the dishes
to the galley.

No, you're not
pulling your weight.

Rethink the way you talk to me.

Oh, so tired.

I have been in
yachting five years,

but last year
I've been helping care

for my elderly grandparents.

It's ----ing exhausting being
a stewardess all day long.

This is, like, so much.



Fender cover's lost.

Oh, man, we lost a cover!

Jesus christ.

It is not acceptable to have
things flying overboard.

Are you going for anyone?

No.

Oh, you're gay, then?

Yeah, just have to find
a guest, I guess.

I didn't pick up
and, like, smack her ass.

I just, like, picked her up and,
like, dropped her in the water.

Does anybody handle
this sh-- well?

I'm engaged.

You're engaged,
and you didn't tell me that?

Well, technically.



You stuck your tongue
down my throat

and you don't wanna say nothing?

What the *bleep*?

Oh sh--.

Even if I try to close my eyes,
my head is just spinning.

Why?

I keep forgetting you've
got a girlfriend as well.

[belches]

I was, like, oh, my god,
are you serious?

Yeah, this hangover's
going great so far.

How you doing there, rock star?

----Ing epic.

A ----ing epic night, right?

-Yeah.
-Fun.

All right, your cereal, sir.

Thanks so much.

How was your night last night?

Good, I turned in a little bit
earlier than the rest.

I'm a little too old
for all that jazz.

I'm old.
You're not old.

I'm feeling it, though.

[laughs]

wash her down?

Wash her the *bleep* down,
she's a dirty girl.

Sounds like a great day.

Heather.

Oh, there you are, love.

A day that starts in sunglasses.

-Good night, though.
-I had a blast.

What an absolute hoot.

There's also a bagel
in my bathroom.

-No!
-Yeah.

Last night, we saw
a new side to heather.

It was really nice to watch her
having such a good time.

I really hope
that heather keeps this up.

Naughty little bitch.

-So, for today...
-Yes.

Let's just make the beds and
the rooms as best we can.

All right, pray for no peeking,
one, two, three.

Pray for no peeking.

Mr. Jake is engaged.

Buddy, buddy,
you're engaged?

If I was engaged and
you was kissing on everybody

and they mama, I would
feel some type of way.

She's my fiancé,
but she's not my girlfriend.

What the absolute *bleep*?

Isn't that something you wanna
bring up the first day we meet?

That's crazy.

How did this happen?
Please tell us, play-by-play.

She's my mate.
She needs a british passport.

Ah!

So, has she messed
with other people

since you guys
have been together?

Well, we're not together,
she's not my girlfriend.

-I told you this.
-I don't understand.

Oof, oh, this smells so bad.

Blegh.

Something I noticed
last night...

I feel like everyone's
after a little bit of jake.

He's so cute, though.

He's telling me
that you've got a little bit

of a crush on jake as well.

No, no, no,
I'm out of a

long-term, very serious
relationship.

Yeah, you're pretty
fresh out of it, hey?

Yeah, like,
I really thought

that we were gonna get married,
we started our life.

But unfortunately, he was, like,
"I don't think this is working."

it was ----ing painful.

I really loved and adored
him and respected him

and had feelings for him,

and wanted to have
a future with him.

So, it...
I had to regroup.

But I didn't have the ability
to actually process it until,

like, I finished
my charter season.

Then it hit me
like a son of a bitch.

I'm happier now by myself.

Like, when I was with him,

I put his needs and
everything else before mine.

And when I hear people
talk about their relationsh--,

I'm just thinking to myself,
I'm like *bleep* that.

And then I just run to
my job as a protection.

At least you're not
resorting to alcohol or drugs,

-do you know what I mean?
-Yeah.

You're resorting to work
and making money.

Oh, god, being hungover
doing this is not fun.

-Eddie.
-Yeah?

Tell us about your girlfriend.

She's a very,
very sweet, sweet woman.

Aw!

Very, very loving, very kind.

-She crazy?
-Batsh--.

Those are the best.

This morning I'm bummed that,

you know, my girlfriend's
pissed off at me.

A little frustrating,
but it's a new relationship,

and it's tough to trust
the other person

that they're not gonna
hurt you and lie to you

and burn you and cheat on you.

So, this is how my life
is gonna be.

Okay.

Eddie, heather, and rachel,

a brief meeting
in the crew mess.

Greetings and salutations,
captain.

Hi.

We have co-primaries,
jeremy morton and ronnie weiss.

They're friends who
are bringing their families

together to share this charter
of a lifetime.

The mortons are gonna
be joined by their sons,

16-year-old sam
and six-year-old alexander.

So, it sounds like
babysitting for somebody.

Mm-hmm.

I love having kids on board.

Sometimes it can be
a huge pain in the ass.

You gotta make the table,
make the beds,

make the cocktails,
and wipe the kid's ass.

Five-star service and a nanny.

-Casino royale party.
-On night one.

They would like
to invite me to dinner.

Day two... Ronnie will be
celebrating his 75th birthday

with an '80s dance
and fitness party.

Pretty sure they asked for
you to be there for that, cap.

You hold your breath till
I show up, all right?

Noon pickup; let's start
prepping for it, thank you.

Thanks, cap.

Hmm, hmm, hmm!

I just wanna let you know that
the washing machine is done.

I just don't want the
two of us doing it,

-so it doesn't get mixed up.
-Can I switch with you?

Can I switch with
you for a second?

Yeah, and then what
we're gonna do...

Yes, and then
I'm gonna finish with...

I got it, babe,
don't worry about it.

...The fridge.

But yeah, I just didn't
want two of us on it.

Yep, do whatever
you'd like, love.

All right.

It's crucial that with a small
team we all carry our weight.

Jess, she's had more
sleep than everyone else,

and yet she is
the most miserable

and rundown out of all of us.

I'm doing her job
as well as mine.

She needs to man the *bleep* up,

do the job,
and just stop complaining.

Oh, my god, she has nailed this
bed, apart from the corners.

[phone rings]

craft services.

This is heather
from motor yacht seanna.

We're gonna be doing
a casino royale party.

I'm looking to get
some hanging décor,

10 decks of cards,
maybe a casino sign.

Awesome, thank you so
much for your help.

All right, we gotta start
making a move on now,

because last time, we were
way ahead of what we are now.

I love the enthusiasm,
it's great.

-It's our job, isn't it, so...
-It's not that serious.

Like, you get mad over
the smallest things.

I'm not mad, I'm just trying
to get you to make a move on.

What does it look
like we're doing?

We don't need to go that fast.

This isn't like
your normal sailing.

This is super-yachting.

Everything's gotta
be done quick.

Jake brings up petty stuff.

Rushing us around,
I get during charter.

When we're not on charter,
what's the rush?

*bleep* outta here, guy.

I don't wanna be doing
this when the sun's down.

It's nothing to be upset
about, I'm just saying.

-I'm not upset.
-You're hostile.

Work faster.

Wes, have you thought
about talking to jess?

Yeah, I've thought about it.

I don't...
I don't know.

I don't do that on boats.

It's so close,
it's too tight-knit.

So, you would never
have sex with jess?

No, didn't say that.

I definitely have a fear
of rejection, who doesn't.

No, I would.
I would.

I definitely would.

I was rejected
a lot in high school,

little bit in college,
and that hurts.

No game.
None whatsoever.

I'm a big nerd,
and I get awkward, very clammy.

I think you should try
to pursue it.

I had so much fun.

You guys are all very awesome.

What happened with jess and wes?

-What was the question?
-"who would you kiss?"

-and he was like, "jess."
-jess, jess, jess!

Woo!

How do you think
she feels about that?

I don't know.

Jess needs some dick.

But I think
it'd be good for her.

-Anything to make her...
-Yeah.

Is she pretty sad?

Make her smile at the moment.

Maybe we do need
wes to make the move.

Maybe we do.

-We gotta plant that seed.
-And hope that a flower grows.

-Can I go fresh up?
-Yeah, of course.

Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt,
dirt, dirt, dirt.

This is why I hate sand.

I want to discuss
about jess for a bit.

She's just, like,
moping around as if,

-like, she's pure misery.
-Right.

And it's just everything she
does, there's a sigh before it.

And I'm not gonna keep trying to
pull her up and get shot down.

Yeah.

I definitely think
fraser's concerns are valid.

It only takes one bad apple
to rot an entire tree.

If she starts to take fraser
out at the knees, then what?

Definitely gonna have a
chat with her today,

hoping that it leads for
a better charter number three,

or we're gonna have
some big issues after that.

Coming up...

We have five minutes
to guest arrival.

-Ugh!
-Ooh.

That's a problem.

Is there a reason
I'm the only one out here?

Ah!

There you go.

Why don't you help us clear
that sink for chef rachel?

[sighs]

yeah, it's just I've been
trying to make them work faster,

and it's so difficult.

Like, don't you wanna get this
sh-- done so we can be done?

Yeah, I really
don't wanna sound like a dick.

Yeah.

Perfect.

Jess, do you wanna come
with me into the master?

-Okay.
-Wesley!

Yeah, I'm coming, hang on.

Come on!

I just really wanted
to touch base with you.

Yeah?

Because I feel as if you're
a little under the weather,

or down, and...

-No.
-No?

I'm good.

I see it affect
the work a little.

The more we know about things,
the easier it is...

I don't want
it to affect the work.

Is everything okay?

I just found out that my
grandmother had a procedure,

-which is a little worrisome.
-Yeah.

I don't wanna get upset
and, like, cry on the boat,

and I know I'll get upset,
because I'm already crying.

I think I just got a
little taken back by that.

I was in yachting for a while,

and I didn't get
to see my grandparents

when things started going
south with their health.

I kinda took it
as the opportunity

to come back to land.

I like being there for them.

That's all it is.

I just wanna know how
to better help you.

Yeah, I'm good,
and I'll tell you

if I need something, honestly.

I'm here, I'm present, I'm fine.

[phone vibrates]

hello?

Hello, missing you.

Is it really nice being home?

I can't...
Oh, I can't wait.

I'm gonna try and...

I'm getting there,
I'm getting there.

I washed, and all this,
just from here.

-Okay.
-Rayna, crushin' it.

Wrap it up, we're knockin' off.

Anyway, darling,
I'm gonna call you later.

Okay, sounds good.

I'm organizing our cabin.

Oh, that smells amazing.

-Oh, it's so cozy!
-Oh!

It's date night, jake.

-Cheers, mate.
-Cheers to life, hey?

So, what we
were talking about last night,

I thought you were straight.

When did you come out?

I came out to my mum when
I was 19.

I was driving back
to university with her,

and there was this story
on the radio about this guy

who'd, like,
murdered eight people.

And he, like, had eaten,
like, a few of them as well.

It was a really dark,
horrible story.

And my mum's like,
"just so you know, fras,

I will always love you,
even if you eat people."

I was like, oh *bleep* this
is the sh--test segue ever.

It was so hard for me
to get the courage

to actually do it, but all
it took was a little push.

It felt amazing to get that
off my chest for so many years.

Thanks, mum.

She's so cute!

Yeah, I'm really happy
in my life.

-Yeah.
-Single, but happy.

Yeah.

All right, sweet dreams,
you all.

Eight o'clock on deck.
I think that's reasonable.

Sounds good.

[yawns]

[alarm blares]

[yawns]
god almighty.

----Ing hell, I'm tired.

Wakey-wakey!

Mm, hands off the bacon.

Fa-la-la-la.

Every day, it's a choice.

Am I gonna be happy today, or am
I gonna be a miserable sh--?

[humming]

I'm choosing to be happy today
and look like this all the time.

My radio is gone.

Does anyone have two radios,
by any chance?

-No.
-No.

Because mine is gone.

----Ing hell.

I had one job...
Hold on to my radio...

And I can't even do that.

If you are looking
for your radio,

odds are I already have it.

Get your sh-- together, fraser.
Find your radio.

This is not a joke.

I don't wanna lose my job.

♪ good morning ♪

how you doing, girl?

Fabulous.

I'm gonna bring those
napkins down,

so maybe we can put them where
the draw towels were.

And then just, like,
throughout the day,

we could do, like,
one set at a time.

I love this.

All right, cool, beautiful.

-It's ----ing windy today.
-*bleep* the wind.

*bleep* you, seam!

Hi!

There doesn't seem to
be a radio for me.

All crew, we have
some provisions.

I need you to take
care of the beds

while I handle the provisions.

Copy that.

This is the good stuff.

-Woo!
-Caviar.

Woo!

I'm sweating my booty off, yeah.

Woo!

Rawr.

Escargot.

Amazing.

Oh, hell, no.

Deck team, we have
a cycle bike here

that we might need
some hands on.

-Copy.
-Eddie, eddie, lee.

Come on up to the wheelhouse.

On my way.

If you wanna grab it by the
handles this time, you can...

Yeah, there you go.

-How is everybody working out?
-Everybody's doing good.

Everybody got their
radios and stuff?

Seems to.

That's a good thing.

Where could this
little bitch be?

How's our boy jake doing?

-Damn hard worker.
-Good.

-Right here is good.
-Yeah.

You know, I think the
issues with last docking

was just everything was
just happening too fast.

I mean, the run times are
just so short around here,

so maybe just next time,
in the future,

we could just
drop her back a little bit,

just so we have enough time
to get everything ready.

I know that everyone
would appreciate it.

Gosh, it's like every charter
it's like their first rodeo.

We're on charter three.

It was just too quick.

I think they had plenty of time.

Eddie needs to get
their attention.

If you can't run
with the big dogs,

you gotta keep your
puppy ass on the porch.

-Are you on schedule?
-Yeah, we're on schedule.

-Good, I like that.
-I like it too.

[chuckles]

are you still looking
for your radio?

Let's not.

It's better we just keep
getting the boat ready.

Attention all crew,
we have 15 minutes

-to guest arrival.
-*bleep* me.

Let's get in our
whites and get ready.

-[loud belch]
-okay!

That works.

It's gonna be one
of those charters.

Attention all crew, we have
five minutes to guest arrival.

-I hope everybody's ready.
-Nope, we're not.

-Fraser?
-Yes, ma'am.

Do you have the champagne?

We just got
the five-minute call.

That's a problem.

Is there a reason
I'm the only one out here?

Goddamn it.

Let's get this party
started right now.

You got it, buddy?

-Hello!
-Hello!

The kid has a case
handcuffed to his wrist.

-Oh, god.
-Welcome on board.

-Hi!
-Captain lee.

Jeremy, nice to meet you.

You want me to take
that little basket from you

so you can wipe your hands down?

-Uh...
-No, he...

I'm like the mini-primary.

Ah.

This is not the group that you
would think you'd see together.

Apple juice.

You guys look like you
got a great tan.

I've been tan for 40 years.

They're all different.

-Todd.
-Todd.

-Nice to meet you.
-My pleasure.

Wow, this is gonna
get interesting.

Here's to the staff
of the my seanna.

Woo!

Coming up...

-All fenders in place.
-We'll take our stern line.

I'm as nervous as a whore
in a front-row pew at church.

You gotta put it forward.
You gotta take the stern off.

Cap, you gotta
lift the stern off.

Oh, my god.

Here's to the staff
of the my seanna.

I'm eager to see
what's in that box.

Ah!

Whoa!

Woo, tip money.
That's a nice stack of cash.

All right, everyone,

can we just be sure to
take care of this kid?

We don't want him
falling overboard.

Yeah.

That kid is my primary,
screw the adults.

I am gonna get this party
started right now.

Heather will show you
around the boat.

Perfect.

We are gonna go
get into our polos.

-Asap.
-Copy.

This is a great spot
for a sunset,

where we like to
enjoy most of the meals.

-Nice.
-Amazing.

We're just gonna
check out the sundeck.

Ronnie, how long
you've been tan?

Since the '60s.

The moms,
they're gonna be litty.

Love 'em, fabulous.

No one's back there to catch me.

This is a gorgeous
lounging area.

Ah, here's my hot tub.

It's got my name on it.

This is unreal.

This is the master stateroom
on this level.

You've got a conjoined bathroom.

-Wow.
-Pretty nice.

Whew.

All right, let's see
if we can get outta here

without spending any money.

Let me know when that last
line is ready to come off.

I get a knot in my stomach
every time I touch the controls

to leave, because the
prevailing winds

are constantly blowing us onto
the dock, which is concrete.

We'll take our stern line.

Forward bow line off.

There's just shallow water
everywhere.

I'm as nervous as a whore
in a front-row pew at church.

All fenders in place
until I clear.

Whew.

You gotta put her forward.
You gotta take the stern off.

Cap, you gotta lift
the stern off...

-Whew!
-Woohoo!

Oh, my god.

All fenders are clear,
all fenders are clear.

Okay, we're outta here.

Who the *bleep* ties these, man?

You wanna make sure alexander's
not to go by himself anywhere.

No problem.

We have more than
enough crew members.

We will have our eyes
on you like a hawk.

Oh, my gosh,
that seared my soul.

Why, what's happening now?

Why am I afraid all of a sudden?

Awesome.

Don't be afraid, you're my rock.

Sure thing.

Go, go, go.
Come on.

Sorry, honey.
Going slow.

Speed this sh-- up!

Big bootie judy coming our way.

Did you say you've got
another, like,

a project as well on board?

Yeah, there's another one,

but I'm gonna build that
probably tomorrow.

I used to be a nanny,
so kids tend to like me.

I know how to look after them.

Yeah, I'm a... I'm a...
I'm a...

I'm so good at legos.

But to be honest, yeah,
I don't like kids.

The way they eat, the sounds...

No, no.

They're just a bit gross.

I hate getting my nails clipped,
because if I was, like, kinda...

Then you can't
take it off, yeah.

-Yeah.
-I don't like kids one bit.

So, how are you supposed
to get it off?

I don't really know.

For lunch, we're gonna do
the pan-seared local grouper.

The kids will have
grilled chicken.

We'll do sweet potato wedges.

Then we're gonna do, like,
a big, massive cobb salad.

-That is nice.
-Thank you.

See, this is great.

Yes, I mean, look at
how beautiful that is.

That's annoying as hell.

Hot mama!

We're gonna get some weather.

Oh sh--.

There was just a little bit
of a spritzle-sprinkle.

Holy wind, dude.

Oh, here, you take that,
and I'll take that.

I'm gonna have to move
you guys all inside.

Okay, I got you, I got you.

-You got it?
-Get the other one.

We're gonna do the ends?

Oh, just one end, right there.

Great.

Eddie, eddie, lee.

I'm less than five minutes
away from dropping the hook.

Let's get somebody
up on the forward deck

to prep for dropping the hook.

Copy that, I'm on my way.

I'll go do that.

What's new?

-Shall we sit?
-Someone else wanna have a go?

Yeah.

On my mark, I want
two and a half shots.

Two and a half shots,
standing by.

You're just gonna let it go,

and then I'll tell you
when to close as well.

Okay.

If I can teach rayna
a bit more on deck,

maybe the job will seem
more appealing to her.

So then we'll just let that
go, and then it'll be yellow?

Or then it'll be red
and then yellow?

It will be red,
but it'll be a bright red.

I wanna be friends with her.

I don't wanna
----ing be the villain.

But if it doesn't work,

I reckon I'm gonna make
rayna walk the plank.

-And drop.
-All the way.

Here comes ronnie,
bringing up the rear.

All right, tomorrow's your
birthday party.

The big 75.

Two and a half shots.

I like it.

Sounds good to me.

Let's lock it in.

Anchor's locked.

*bleep* yeah.

Fraser, fraser, heather.

Oh, that's right,
he doesn't have a radio.

Growing up,
I was terrible at school,

and I was even worse at
university.

School was tough because my dad
has worked the olympic games,

and I think moving countries

every two to three years
is difficult.

[sighs]

so, now that I found
something that I love

and that I feel
like I'm very good at,

the basic capacity
of keeping my radio on me

and failing that makes me
feel like sh--.

Come on, fras, this is
not ----ing rocket science.

Hey, I'm plating the boys
right now.

Ready to roll.

Wow, sam.

Here you go, so we've
got ketchup

in the middle of the table.

Honey mustard.

This is so good.

And I've got
some sweet potato fries.

Sweet potato fries are amazing.

Can I offer you some cobb?

-This is dijon chicken.
-Please.

-Delish.
-Mm!

Ooh, this is good.

We do.

*bleep*, I love you.

It was amazing.

-So, we'll go downstairs...
-And hang with the homies.

Do do, do do, do do.

Oh sh--.

Eddie, eddie,
we may have lost the ball.

[sighs]

how?

Jake did it, jake did it,
not me.

-Goddamn it.
-I'm sorry.

Let it go.

If I take off on the
----ing tender,

captain lee's gonna notice that
something just went overboard.

If something ----ing
goes overboard,

unless it's something serious,

don't say it over
the ----ing radio!

The guests are all
preoccupied downstairs.

I can handle it.

I don't think so.

You okay?

You're scattered.

I just want my radio.

Okay, so let's just clear the
whole counter and laundry room,

and see if
it's not in our space.

I know you are.

It's so vital that
fraser finds his radio.

Not only for safety reasons,

but I need communication
with him

as my second
for a successful charter.

I don't care if you think
that it could or couldn't be,

I want you to dig through
all of that stuff in there.

Find it!
Find it right now!

Dig through it,
just so that

we've crossed everything
off the list.

Coming up...

There's a few things I would do.

Always, like, kinda
straighten these things.

Like, water spots
on this mirror.

Pull them tighter.

Cheap-ass hotels do
a better job

than what my team
is producing right now.

Training day's over.

Gotta flip it around
the other way.

God, I'm in a silly mood today.

I don't know why.

Yeah?

You're funny.

Oh, there is a ----ing
god looking down on me!

Okay, panic over.

It's crazy, how much that little
piece of plastic means to me.

Heather, heather, fraser.

You are incredible.

----Ing hell, that was close.

Heather, I know
it's, like, casino,

but what's the plan
as far as games?

I've got two craps
and one poker.

I've got the felt tops,
so we'll just lay them across.

So, you have
a crap table, seriously,

-with dice and everything?
-Yeah.

That's...
How you gonna do the odds?

Six the hard way, and...

No, they have a craps table.

-Oh, do they?
-Yeah.

You wanna play before
or after dinner?

-Before?
-Totally works.

Wanna know what gave
me all this sh--.

Let's put it in here
and call it a day.

I wanna start
with the decorating.

Yeah.

So, we need to set
this up first.

First time gambling was
at atlantis in the bahamas.

Went with my
first charter tip ever,

threw all my money on red,
and ----ing lost it all.

It's a casino!

I've learned to just take
a little bit of your money,

not your whole tip with you,

'cause it's an easy thing
to get caught up in.

Are you out of air already?

No, I'm lightheaded.

I've got veins popping
out of every orifice.

Oh, my god.

What'd you do, then?

Would you ever wanna do
something like this?

Good fun.
Good fun.

Ah.

I've learned a lot from my
mistakes in relationships

in the past, and my girlfriend,

she is without a doubt the
most loving one I've ever met.

[phone rings]

hey, I'm sorry about
last night, sweetie.

And that was a speed bump,

but it's not gonna define
the rest of our relationship.

I know it's hard
on you, sweetie,

but be cool, honey bunny.

I miss you, too.

Can you take a step back
from afar

and tell me if it looks like...

-No, you can't see.
-Hanging balls, or...

I mean, it does
look like hanging balls,

but it looks great.

-That'll do.
-That'll do.

Let's go, honey,
they're waiting for us.

Hey, I'm making my hair good!

What we're gonna
do is the antipasti

-is gonna be on the table.
-Okay.

-So, we have focaccia...
-Yeah.

-Burrata, and then...
-Yeah.

We'll go into the caprese salad.

Do pappardelle;
that will be plated.

So, tonight's theme
is casino night,

and I just lived in
Italy for almost eight months,

and I had a wonderful
experience.

So, I wanna have
a nice italian feast.

I can't stop doing this.

Main fork and knife, and
you want a spoon and a fork.

-Right, copy, copy.
-Grazie mille.

You got tanned today.

-I faded.
-You faded?

He's been tan for 65 years.

I have a disease
called tanorexia.

Yeah, you gotta be tan, huh?

Tanorexia.

Vitamin d, baby, vitamin d.

Vitamin n...
Vitamin nice.

How old were you when you
found this as your passion?

Oh *bleep* me, man,
let me tell you what,

I was actually about 18.

I ran my mouth as a bartender,

and the boys in the kitchen
were like,

"hey, smartass,
why don't you put your money

where your mouth is?"

oh.

And I said, "----ing watch me,"
and that was it.

What do you have for me?

I can put minecraft
on two player

show me.

All right, so you guys wanna
play left, right, center?

That's the pot.

Heather's playing too.
Are you playing too?

-We put in the money.
-You can play on the easy one.

-I'll play the hard one.
-Okay.

Let's go.

For an amateur,
that's a sick roll.

-Okay.
-There you go.

Oh, that hurts.

Jess, if I could get
you to go into the queen room

and start in there.

Okay, lovely.

Yeah, I would do a sparkling,
and one of the chardonnays...

-Yeah.
-...That are in the water.

Because todd drinks that.

-Wow, that's insane.
-That is amazing!

Take someone down.

Tricky little bastard.

Shall we sit for dinner?

-Is it time? Sure.
-It's time.

Hello.

Are you ready for dinner?
Are you hungry?

I am.
Oh, they look nice.

Yeah, they are beautiful.

I love to sit across from you,

so I can gaze into
those big, brown eyes.

Evening.

-Hi!
-Hello, how are you?

-Thank you for joining us.
-Thank you for having me.

So good that you're here.

This is prosciutto di parma,
prosciutto di cotto...

-What's the one again?
-Taleggio.

-Taleggio.
-Here comes the food.

-Wow.
-Look how gorgeous.

Beautiful.

Special pasta.

Mm. Good.

Are the rooms
downstairs all good?

-Mm-hmm.
-Okay.

What the hell?

Seriously?
A mess.

What's concerning me
the most about these cabins

is the lack of
attention to detail.

Jesus.

Even cheap-ass hotels
do a better job

than what my team
is producing right now.

Ridiculous.
That is not okay.

-Can I steal you for a few?
-Mm-hmm.

Cool, let's go down
to the guest cabin.

That wasn't ----ed up,
I'm so excited.

That's made my night already.

Are there still
pirates on the ocean?

Yeah, there are.

And for them, that's a career.

So, there's
a few things I would do.

I would always, like, kinda
straighten these things.

Yeah, they came down there
and messed that up afterwards.

And there's, like,
water spots on this mirror.

Pull them tighter.

If you're gonna put
your final stamp of, like,

the rooms are all good, know
it was your last walkthrough.

I'm insanely sympathetic
of everything jess

is going through with
her grandma right now,

but people have to leave their
emotions at their cabin door.

The downy that's sitting here.

I'm ----ing pissed.

I specifically asked her first,
"are cabins all done."

she said, "yes."

when I came down and showed
her everything, she's like,

"oh, well, they were in
here, and they this,"

and I said, "you can't say
somebody else just walked down."

yeah.

Especially if all three rooms
had an issue.

Trying to find
the right way to, like...

-Right.
-Coach with inspiration.

Yeah.

But it's coming down to where,
like, training day's over.

Wow.

Coming up...

Oh... Your room's down there.

Where are you going?

Wow, you got those double doors?

Eddie, eddie, lee.

I love these dishes.

That won't fit in your purse.

[laughing]

wow, absolute favorite
dish of mine.

[yawns]

ooh, yeah.

Would you care for some caprese?

Yeah, a little bit.

-It's good.
-Oh.

How is it, samuel?

-It's good.
-Mm.

This chef is amazing.

-Wow, that is good.
-She is extremely talented.

Ooh, there's some white
wine in that.

I'm gonna bring this upstairs,

so it looks like
I'm doing stuff.

-Oh, my god.
-Oh, wow.

Your soup tonight's done
with roasted heirloom tomatoes,

a roasted red pepper,
along with a parmesan crisp.

-Enjoy.
-Thank you.

-The flavors.
-Mm!

Todd?

Goddamn.

I don't know what's going on,

but my underwear
keeps sliding down.

Oh!

We grew up in michigan
on the lake, so...

I left michigan when I was
25 and never went back.

Captain lee, do you have a
family in ft. Lauderdale?

Wife, four kids.

Oh, shoot.
Oh, sorry.

-Serious?
-He's gorgeous.

No. Stop it.
Makes me uncomfortable.

Somewhere, my wife heard that,
and she's laughing her ass off.

I'm sure... Right.

Am I in trouble
or are you in trouble?

-They're nice people.
-I like them a lot.

So, how are you today?

Is there any problem?

I don't think so.

Kind of been trying to take
a different, like, approach.

Yeah.

And tried to be a
lot more chilled

-and laid back, and not so...
-Okay.

-Not so hot-headed.

This team, we have so much
potential to be really good.

I think we're doing good.

Should we go and
get our stuff sorted?

And then the rest of
the night is chill.

That is definitely
my cup of tea.

We're just gonna keep it coming.

-Oh, my god.
-Oh, wow, thank you.

Here we've got
some sautéed asparagus,

poached egg with crisp pancetta.

-Mm!
-Thank you so much.

This is breakfast, we don't
have to eat breakfast tomorrow.

Oh, speak for yourself.

It's so good.

Hey, she makin' a pasta.

I make a pasta, with a semolina.

Homemade pasta...
Nothing compares.

I really, really love
to take the time

to make it from scratch,
make it authentic.

Don't snag on me, bitch.

I can't stand using boxed pasta.

I'm like, bleagh...
Can't do it.

It's boiling, you're done.

Yeah...

Alexander, with his
chicken tenders today

that rachel made for him,

I never saw him eat
chicken tenders that fast.

Really?

You can tell, everything
that's she's made today

is just made with
love and passion.

Suck my ----ing clit.

I might have to change
into different pants.

-So good.
-Hm.

-Going.
-Going?

Cheers, guys.

Oh, I always do that on purpose.

Oh *bleep*, I'm sorry.

No, it's all good.
I'll murder you later.

Wow.

Oh, my god, that's gorgeous.

Your pasta course is a
quattro fungi con pappardelle.

So, it's four mushrooms
sautéed with truffle as well.

I've never had food like
this in my whole life.

You're a freak of nature.

My mother told me
I broke her uterus.

Oh, my god.

-It's delicious.
-Bon appétit.

There's nothing better.

[snores]

he's out.

That's the cutest thing
ever, leave him be.

-It's so funny.
-So, what's this, then?

-It's a panna cotta.
-Panna cotta.

-We're all covered up, right?
-Yeah, everything's covered.

-All right, folks.
-Good night.

Fraser, we're losing two.

That's all good,
don't you worry about it.

Dropping like flies.

He weighs so much, it's crazy.

What are these?

I know, right?
Macaroons.

One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven...

Well, I'm laughing because we're
only supposed to serve five.

This is the bridge deck.

My what?

-That's it, perfect, thank you.
-Marvelous.

Oh, my god!

Wow, thank you.

Oh, my god.

Oh, my god.

-Thank you, good night.
-Macaroon.

What is this, by the way?

Let's see, this is what,
charter three?

-Yeah.
-Yeah, we're halfway through.

We've only been doing
this for two weeks,

and there's a month to go.

It's been going well
though, hasn't it?

I think the whole
team's getting along well,

or at least I hope so.

Someone's gotta pop.

Someone's gonna pop
at some point.

[phone ringing]

hi, I just wanted
to check in on you

and see if
everything's going okay.

I'm gonna cast
some suspicions on...

-Jess.
-Yep.

Yeah.

When do you have to get your
stitches taken out, do you know?

My grandparents
definitely played

a secondary parental role
in my life,

and so I just get concerned.

I love them so much.

That's it, I just wanted to
call quickly and check on you.

You never know how much longer
you have with them.

All right, love you.

Love you too, sweetie.
Bye.

She's like the weather.

-She's very up and down.
-It's very up and down.

It's sun for a short while, and
then it's thunder and lightning.

Yeah, definitely a possibility.

Coming up...

-What was that?
-We lost a couple of cushions.

Oh, you lost the big one.

Of course we did.

I'm just so ----ing frustrated
with getting yelled at.

I want everything secured,
I want things covered.

I don't want another
----ing thing

falling off this boat, copy?

Thank you so much
for joining us.

-Oh...
-You probably wanna get to bed.

Thank you for having me,
I really enjoyed it.

It was our pleasure.

Get a good night's sleep.

Will you have breakfast, lunch,
and dinner with us tomorrow?

Yes, you'll have dinner with us
for ronnie's birthday tomorrow.

Oh, that's right.

-Oh, my god, it's amazing.
-The big 75.

-It'll be my pleasure.
-Captain.

Jodi, do you know how to
get back to your room?

I sorta do.

Am I following
you to your... Oh.

No, your room's down there.

Are you going...
Mine's down there?

Okay.

Where are you going?

Wow, you got those double doors?

I'm going to my room.
Alone.

Have a good night.

Thanks, you have
a good night too.

You bet. Bye-bye.

She was gonna follow me in here.

Love that guy.

Laugh it up, funny boy.

What time you want me up?

Eight hours from whenever
you go to bed.

-Good night.
-Night.

Night-night.

Ugh.

Oh, I'm so excited.

Ow, my toe.

-Sleep well.
-See you in the morning.

I'll see you in the morning.

[yawns]

[alarm sounds]

ow.

The wind is relentless.

Strap in.

Here it comes.

Oh, buddy, look
at those high socks.

It's a good look for you.

Oh, they're so tight.

Isn't that what every man likes?

-Oh, god.
-Jesus christ.

I do have almond milk.

Todd the bod's
a little sexy beast.

He's a little schnack.

How did you sleep,
how was everything?

-It was good.
-Meow.

I'm really not into
that buff look.

I like short, fat, and funny.

Is there bacon in it?

Give it a shot,
see what it's like.

What are we up to, just,
like wiping down?

Huh?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

With the winds and stuff...

-Oh, they go flying?
-Yes.

It's, like, gusting.
Yeah, it needs to come in.

We'll put it on the breakfast
table down here, then.

Eddie, eddie, lee.

Let's get primed, I wanna get
outta here sometime today.

Copy that.

So, we're taking this all back
downstairs to the main salon.

To the table?

All right,
let's get this closed up.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Get fenders in.

I would do one of
those on every setting.

Holy ----ing wind, dude.

We're ready to sit for
breakfast, if you'd like.

Great, great.

-Do you wanna haul the anchor?
-Yes.

So, chef rachel has prepared
an avocado toast on

a hash brown cake
with a poached egg,

and some mélange microgreens,

as well as a chocolate chip
pancake special,

with whipped cream.

Oh!

That sounds like my favorite...

Ever?

That... Yes.

Jake, get us outta here.

Copy.

-Is that short?
-Medium stay.

Watch that wind.

Two orders of oatmilk,

and two orders of egg whites,
scrambled, no cheese...

Just clean egg whites.

Anchor home, anchor home.

Copy that.

Anchor secured.

Copy that.

-Good job.
-Look at that.

-Thank you.
-Pleasure.

That is a good one.

-What was that?
-----Ing wind.

Oh, hell, no.

It's cushions,
cushions, cushions.

Jon, jon, jon, wes.

Hey, we lost a couple cushions
as we just left anchorage.

Oh, we lost the big one.

-Yeah.
-Yes.

-*bleep*
-*bleep*

sh--, I don't like
these pink ones.

Don't tell me, I'm gonna
have to go back

and get the ----ing cushions.

That's going to upset me.

Jon, jon, eddie.

That's a common-sense thing.

I'm not the
sharpest knife in the drawer,

and I can figure it out.

Wind's blowing... Make sure
the cushions are secure.

These guys could *bleep*
up a two-car funeral.

Should have been tight
as a goddamn drum.

Is that jon right there?

Yeah.

Jon, wes, do you have
a visual on them?

Just unbelievable.

The deck team needs more time
to get everything secured.

They had plenty of time.

They were standing up here for
15 minutes pulling the anchor.

That's plenty of time to secure.

I'm about to ----ing pop.

Deckhands' first responsibility
is take care of the exterior,

and now I'm getting reamed
out by captain lee.

I'm really ----ing serious...
No more *bleep* ups.

I can't believe
I'm chasing ----ing cushions.

He sees them.

Jon, do you have them?

Copy that, I'm gonna break off.

The hammer needs to drop,

and it's up to eddie
to make it happen.

Okay, guys, laz.

If he doesn't drop it on them,

he knows goddamn well
I'm gonna drop it on him.

I'm just so ----ing frustrated
with getting yelled at.

I want everything secured,
I want things covered.

I don't want
another ----ing thing

falling off this boat, copy?

That's ----ing bullsh--.

Next on "below deck"...

The wind here is
too fucking strong.

-Whoa!
-Oh, my god!

Goddamn it.

Thirty-five years, I've never
seen wind with such intensity.

It's mother nature
giving your ass a wake-up call.

I'm gonna take 'em
into the ring,

and I'm gonna
break 'em over my knee!

Oh, yeah, brother!

I guess this is what being
a first officer is all about.

What a luxurious
promotion this is.

How are you?

The 'stache looks prettier
and prettier every day.

Don't put the front down.

-No.
-Put the front down *bleep* it.

[laughing]

jake!
Jake!

Oh, my god, they're
gonna *bleep* tonight.

I'm straight,
I'm just sexually comfortable.

Like, I can do, like...

-Ah!
-Yes!