Below Deck (2013–…): Season 9, Episode 4 - Pissed-On Chickens Can't Compare - full transcript

Previously, on "Below Deck"...

They're gonna hook up,
straight up.

I think so.

Oh, Rayna, why did you do this?

We wanna give you the
opportunity to be lead deckhand.

-Thank you.
-Do me well.

-Swear to God, you better.
-Thank you, Captain. Thank you.

The primary charter guest
is Michael Durham,

a Seattle-based
real estate broker.

Joining Michael are
his other broker friends.

And they wanna do a Hawaiian
luau on day number two.



-Cheers.
-Welcome to St. Kitts.

If you wouldn't mind
putting more bourbon in that?

Of course I can.
They don't belong on a yacht.

They probably won this trip.

I'm sorry, how many words
do you use a day?

Usually they start
with *bleep* you.

You can just
go *bleep* yourselves

Justin!

I'm throwing myself
off the boat.

Morons.

And I'll take
my ----ing bourbon

in a ----ing coffee cup,
thank you.

Thank you for dinner.

-Good night.
-Get some rest.



Justin, what are you doing?

Look at me, in the...
in my eyes.

-Go *bleep* yourself.
-Okay.

I'm just nervous
something's gonna happen

that we can't control.

I think it's best we all just...

No, go *bleep* yourself and
throw yourself off the boat.

-Two fingers or one?
-Three, actually.

Hold on...
no, come here.

What the *bleep*?

Oh sh--.

-Just...
-No, can I stop this?

This is a whole ----ing
circus, isn't it?

There'll be somebody jumping
off this boat tonight.

Maybe it's just best if you
just kind of just, like,

stay away from each
other right now.

Oh sh--.

No, can I stop this right now?

*bleep* my life.

No, seriously, can I stop?

You stop kind of interacting,
then we will stop.

I'm trying, I'm like,
I have...

But we don't...

I know, it's been a long day
for everyone.

Put her in a room and tell
her to shut the *bleep* up.

Let's stay away
from him right now.

It's for everyone's safety,
including yours.

It's not my problem.

Hey, I don't give a *bleep*.

-Can I walk you down the stairs?
-Yes.

-This way.
-That'd be good.

I hope somebody gets
pissed off for real.

All right, I'm going
to sleep, I'm done.

-You're done?
-Yeah.

Cool.

Anything else that
I can get you?

-Yeah. Nope.
-Okay.

-Good, thank you.
-You have a good night.

Hi, how's it going?

We need to get him in his room.

Yep.

What's your problem?

Everybody can go *bleep*
themselves at this point.

Gimme that. Now.

No, you go *bleep* yourself
and throw yourself

off the back of the boat.

What the *bleep* happened
at dinner?

Because what I saw at
the swim platform, bitch...

What happened?

Do me a favor and walk with me.

Well, okay, so, you know what...

You can bring
that with you, just...

Hey, this is some ----ing sh--
that's ----ing sideways.

Shut the *bleep* up.

I can't wait to tell
Captain Lee about this.

I don't know what he's gonna do,
but it's gonna be priceless.

Get your sh-- do what
you gotta do, and go down.

And if there's any issues,
you wake me up.

Thank you for everything,
I appreciate it.

Oh, Lord.

Ooh, da, da, da.

Hey, buddy,
how you doing?

-Good, how are you?
-Good.

It's good to be at
the top of the food chain.

Good morning!

Good morning, love,
how are you?

The white shirt on the counter
is Captain Lee's

so let's get it to him
by 6:00 tonight.

Does it need to
be washed too, yeah?

Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.

My last boat was a cakewalk.

They just did the same
routine every day,

and it was nice, because we got
to get off the boat and explore.

I don't really do
much of that here.

When do I get a day off?
When can I go out on a boat?

When can I do something nice?

I hope so.

Hey, hey, hey.

Everything is shiny.

When do you think the rest of
our group will be awake?

I would be surprised
if any of them are up

in the next several hours.

----ing hungry.

This is so ----ing gross, dude.

-Morning, Cap.
-Morning, Eddie.

Did you hear a bunch
of screaming

and slamming doors and
yelling and crying, and...

No.

I'm coming in.

Well, I don't know,
because I went to bed early.

It was Justin and Terri arguing.

I mean, he told Heather
to go *bleep* herself.

Terri was just bawling,
in tears.

Heather can fill you in
on quite a lot about it.

-Good.
-Good morning.

Good morning, so, let's discuss
the elephant in the room.

Sure thing.

Yeah, it just was starting
to get really abrasive.

They crossed
the line hardcore.

I am not going to tolerate this.

I'm livid.

Pissed on chickens
can't compare.

My crew is not here
to be abused.

I can't talk to them right now,
because I'll lose it.

But this will be
a come-to-Jesus meeting.

I'm gonna have a
discussion with them...

Correct.

As soon as we get
to the anchorage.

Okay.

This is not going
to happen again.

Okay.

Good morning.

-Beg your pardon?

-Sorry!
-Good morning.

I just, like, chugged
an entire coffee.

I still wanna know
exactly what happened.

I do, and at
the same time, like...

-Perhaps not.
-Yeah.

Deck meeting, I wanted
to talk about beach setup.

We'll bring a couple
of these plants, tiki torches,

and chairs and tables.

And so what I'm thinking is me
and Wes doing the beach setup.

Okay, nice.

And Rayna can stay on the boat
and just tidying up

on bridge deck aft,
make sure the teak's all nice.

And then we're gonna
change the schedules,

so Wes is on earlies.

Okay.

I'm on days,
which means I can be...

help with the morning setup
and help at the end of the day,

and then you're on lates.

For the rest of this charter

we're gonna stick
to that schedule.

Wait, back it up.

People need, like, switching,
like, you know, like...

We can switch on
different charters.

Imma die if
I'm up every night late.

You're still getting
your eight hours.

The first charter, we had
switched off on our schedules.

But now, Jake wants
us to keep the same shift

for the whole charter.

You're up super-late, and then
the next day, then you're...

-Well, I...
-I want...

-This is how I want it, okay?
-Okay, fine.

Honestly, Rayna is overreacting,
and Jake's being bossy.

And here I am,
caught in the middle.

This is great.

How hungry are we?

Would you to make
a special order?

I hear rumor
there's lobster Benedict.

Beautiful, coming right up.

-Jake, Jake, Lee.
-Go ahead, Lee.

To the bridge, please.

Copy, on my way.

Yes, please,
that would be lovely.

We're gonna be pulling the
anchor here in a few minutes,

so I expect clear,
concise directions.

-Yeah.
-Okay, get your crew together.

-Will do.
-We're leaving soon.

Okay.

And I'm gonna let
you take us outta here,

so we'll see how you do.

Yeah, copy that.

Wes, Rayna, can the two of
you meet me on the bow, please?

Copy that.

Are you checking on the chain?

Yeah.

Are we good to start hoisting?

Yeah, bring her in.

Is that what we can smell?

Short stay, 12:00.

Short stay, 9:00.

Wonderful, thank you.

This is done as a béarnaise,

with tarragon to go
with the lobster.

-Fantastic.
-Please enjoy.

Anchor off the bottom.

What do you need to say?

Home, locking off.

Good.

Can you do the
anchor ball, please?

Good morning.

Hey.

Wow, that is the best breakfast
I've ever had.

Good morning, how are you?

-This light has gone off.
-Yep.

So, now you can just
turn that knob.

You have to push
down on it to turn.

-Oh, really?
-Yeah.

What does that mean?

Like, you're not
happy about this.

No, but I'm not in charge,

so I'm going with
the flow, you know?

No, you're giving me
sh-- about it.

I haven't said anything.
I'm quiet, I just need to be...

like, when I'm frustrated,
I just need some alone...

There's nothing
to be frustrated about.

It's work.
That's what it is.

It's what we're here to do.

You don't think I know that?

That's a joke, right?

Jake is confusing, but
then again, I don't know Jake.

So, what if he is
just this crazy person

and I just kissed
him too soon?

I most differently
kissed him too soon,

because he's a jackass now.

-I'll be fine, just...
-All right.

Ugh.

Good morning, how are you?

I've never had a guest treat me
like this in my career.

Go *bleep* yourself and
throw yourself off the boat.

This is reminding me
a lot of when

I was bullied in high school.

Growing up in Hawaii,
I had my arm broken,

I've had my face spat in, I've
had lunches thrown at me because

I was just the only white,
blonde girl in my school.

So, it's just bringing up
a lot of trauma

from my childhood
and being bullied.

Last night was a screaming
match between the guests.

This is gonna be
an interesting trip.

Jake, Jake, is
the anchor ready for drop?

Yeah.

All right, go ahead
and drop her, two shots.

You're stuck.

All right, I think we're stuck,

you can go ahead and
lock her in.

-Nice job, Jake.
-Thank you.

Well done, Eddie.

Thank you very much, Captain,
I appreciate it.

I like this anchorage.

There's a little bit of a
roll to it, but it's not bad.

How are we feeling?

Heather, Heather, Lee,

I need Michael and Justin, and
I need them in the wheelhouse.

Copy that.

Oh, God, here we go.

Michael and Justin,
Captain Lee would love

to see you in the wheelhouse.

-Ugh.
-Okay.

Ooh, would not wanna
be them right now.

I'm sure as sh-- not gonna let
some asshole insult my crew.

It makes me wanna take a sh--
in his mother's dinner plate.

-Come on in.

Previously, on "Below Deck"...

-Come on in.

Telling Heather to go *bleep*
herself was totally improper.

I don't talk to
my crew that way,

and I will not tolerate
anyone else doing it.

I wish I had context as
to why or how that happened.

-I'm very so...
-I don't want the excuses.

Just get your
sh-- together.

If that behavior happens again,
your charter will be over.

-Yes, sir.
-Make no mistake about it.

Understood.
I really am sorry.

-Thank you.
-Yep.

And I apologize for my friends.

Yes, I think so.

How was that?

I don't think we'll have
a repeat performance.

If we do, the charter will end.

All right, let's see
how the day goes.

Indeed.

For my part in it, as it relates
to you guys, I'm very sorry.

I really am.

I need you to go
start packing up all the gear

for the beach picnic right now.

Ba-ba-bing.

Oh, no... oh, yes.

*bleep* me.

Oh sh--.

Oh, that looks awesome.

We do wanna discuss.

So, we're gonna be cooking
the pig on the beach,

-Yeah.
-Right.

I'm experienced with
cooking the whole hog.

For shizzle.

Okay, cool.

Logistically, it takes way
too long to cook the pig

at the beach, so I precook
it in the oven

and then I'm going
to throw it in the pit

and when the guests
arrive on the beach,

I'm going to pull it out
and be like,

"It's done, fire-roasted
pig on a spit!"

Gotcha, bitch!

I want to apologize sincerely,
I am so sorry.

Get 'em girl.

-I appreciate the apology.
-Thank you.

I really do.
But every day's a new day.

-I appreciate it.
-Enjoy the blank page.

Very good, thank you so much.

Pleasure's all mine.

But really,
go *bleep* yourself.

Wes and Jake,
get into your wet gear

and meet me on the
swim platform in 20 minutes.

I'll pass off
the champagne first.

Thank you, Heather,
appreciate it.

Of course.

Time to go.

All right, your free.

I love these beaches.

I grew up in the Caribbean,
so I love doing beach picnics.

They very much
so remind me of home.

Hope I'm not getting homesick,
but yes, they do, they do.

Ah!

We need paper towel
and trash bags.

Yeah, and toilet paper,
I was thinking.

Where would they...

I'll leave you two
to that conversation.

It is very important to me
that this luau

goes off without a hitch.

So, we just dice up the tuna,
you do Kewpie, Sriracha...

Mm-hmm.

And, like, the tamago eggs,
the orange fish eggs?

Yeah.

I didn't deal with
everything yesterday

to come out of this
getting a sh-- tip.

I guess I can do saimin noodles?

Yeah.

Even if it takes 20 tender rides

to get these guests
what they want,

there's no room for error today.

Gotta make my people proud.

-Good job, guys.
-Okay.

Get that fire going
soon, too, okay?

Durham, you're wearing
different shorts today.

-Ooh, that's good.
-Yeah.

We have a trunk contest,
apparently.

Could we call it a swimsuit
contest and not a trunk contest?

We could call it
a trunk contest,

but it'd be a different kind
of contest, and I'd win.

You know how elephants
have a trunk?

Oh...

All right, fireman,
it's all you, brother.

All right, all right.

I'm take Jess,
we're gonna set up,

and then I'm gonna come back
and trade out with you.

-You'll handle cocktails.
-Take the piggy now.

Can we get you anything
at the moment?

Beautiful.

How long do you think
we might be?

-Just curious, that's all.
-Probably, like, 45 minutes.

-Perfect.
-Whew!

-Thank you.
-Thank you, Jess.

Beautiful.

We have everything, dude.

Hopefully can go get off
here and go play a game.

I wanna swim in.

You better start now.

-Hi!
-How's it going?

Oh, come on, you bastard.

Do not let anything
happen to the pig.

-Eddie, Lee.
-Go for Eddie.

Yeah, so your next run'll
be taking the guests in.

Copy that.

Ugh, so tired.

It's ----ing exhausting,
being a stewardess all day long.

This is, like, so much.

Well, the money makes
it worth it,

but I would much rather be
at home, just driving around,

eating my burrito,
listening to my music.

Of course, and it's
a lot less stressful

than what I'm doing right now.

♪ I'm covered in sand
and I love it ♪

You guys can go ahead and
put the pig on the fire.

Oh, have you ever
read "Lord of the Flies?"

I've read it in school.

This reminds me of it.

What time is it?

It's almost 3:00.

Let's go eat this pig.

Yeah, bitch.

All right, Eddie, we're ready
for you to load guests.

Okay, loading guests.
Be there shortly.

You guys ready to
get loaded up?

-Yep.
-Yes, sir.

Absolutely.

No worries.

-Awesome!
-Enjoy, you guys.

-Okay.
-Thank you much.

-Thank you.
-Bye!

Ooh!

No!

*bleep* hell,
Rachel, the pig's on fire!

-Oh, no, no, no!
-*bleep*

Oh, *bleep*.

This has the potential
of ruining the meal.

This is not good.
Goddamn it.

Well, I'm hungry.

I'd chew off my arm
if I had barbeque sauce.

Oh, my God.

*bleep*
oh, no...

-Rachel?
-Oh *bleep*.

-No, no, no!
-I've got a towel.

-Son of a bitch.
-Enjoy, you guys!

-Okay.
-Thank you much.

Bye!

I'm hungry.

Now, flip it on top of this,
steady.

-Watch your hands.
-Got it.

Pull it up.

Oop, my hands have
gone in there.

Yeah, it needed to
come out a little bit sooner.

Thank God it's only the skin.

Flip it upside-down,
and they'll never know.

Got it?

Cool, thank you.

Welcome, welcome!

Aloha!

Welcome to your beach luau.

-Awesome.
-Thank you!

-Thank you so much.
-Of course.

-Fantastic.
-Wow.

Everything's perfect.

Looks great, guys, nice job.

Hello?

I'm ready to kill
somebody, literally.

Because Jake's been
lead deckhand

for a whole ----ing day, and he
talked to me so disrespectful.

But I'm not ----ing perfect,
you know what I'm saying.

Like, it's ----ing annoying.

Connecting with new people
on a boat is just difficult.

Then the person that I was
connecting with was Jake,

the person I'm having
the issues with.

Today's just been sh--
for me, you know?

I'm just over it.
Like, absolutely over it.

Mom, let me call you right back.

I wanna go see if the boat's
gonna be back soon.

-Cheers.
-Cheers.

Okay, now we're
at a beach party.

Now we're at a luau.

Oh!

-The wind just knocked it down.
-Yes.

-There you go.
-Get!

I'm gonna have to
get the shotgun out.

That fly's really
starting to annoy me.

We're gonna swap out Jess.
Can you tell Eddie?

Eddie, could you please
pick up Jess?

Copy that, coming
to pick up Jess.

I think the first most
important is just wipe down,

make the welcome towels, and
then clear the crew mess table.

You got it.

Could you kind of
help tidy up a little bit?

Okay, cool.

There's the tun...
uh, the salmon.

So, this is some lomi lomi style
salmon, would you like some?

Yes, please.

Yum!

-Would you like some white rice?
-Yes, please.

Ah!

So, you're gonna take one
of these nori leaves,

your gonna put the Spam,
the white rice on top of this,

and kind of roll
it into a little taco,

and it's to die for.

This is your homeland, isn't it?

As Hawaiians, I'm very thankful,

because for someone who isn't
Hawaiian, Chef Rachel killed it.

Jesus Christ, that's good.

This is the little taste
of home that I need.

We'd always go to our
cousins' houses for luaus.

It brings people together,

it's a lot of fun,
and I mean, look at Justin.

He went from being an asshole to
a chill kitty-cat on the beach.

How you doing, Terri?

-Good.
-Yeah?

Yeah.

Well, we're doing better than
last night, so that's a start.

-Yeah.
-That is the power of a luau.

-Thank you so much.
-Of course.

Thank you for the ride.

My pleasure.

-Cheers, brü.
-There, brü.

Thanks, brü.

Eddie, Eddie, Rachel.

Yeah, go for Eddie.

We'd like to go back.

Copy that, I'll be
on my way shortly.

Are we taking
everything down, then?

Yeah.

All right, I'm gonna leave you
in the hands of sweet Fraser.

♪ I love being
by myself at work ♪

-Thank you.
-Is that everybody?

-Yeah.
-Cool.

Cheers, guys, thank you.

-Oh!
-Oh!

Yeah!

I could have done worse,
put it that way.

That was good,
that was really good.

Thank you for
letting me try that.

-Careful, careful, careful.
-Watch out for dust.

-Here you go.
-Thank you.

Welcome, welcome.

Jake, Jake, Eddie.

Hey, is everything going
all right over there?

Yeah, everything's going fine.

The guests would like to come
back in about 10 minutes.

Grab that ladder so the guests

can come aboard
the tender easily.

Copy.

Do you need help?

-Don't fart!
-Yeah, I did it.

-Stay away.
-No!

Come on!

Gimme a second, let
me set the ladder up.

No problem.

I'm glad you guys
had a good time.

-It was amazing, yeah.
-Wonderful time, thank you.

Good, good, good.

-Knock-knock.
-Come on in.

Very successful.

They played a couple
of beach games.

Cool.

How's Justin doing?

-He's doing good.
-Good for him.

He really is,
they're very sweet.

I'm glad to see somebody
make a shot at redemption.

You guys ready?

I'm gonna hand you
the most important part.

I got you, the drink.

The deck team did awesome,
the interior team did great.

-Nicely done.
-Thank you so much.

Okay, and we'll just start
chucking everything there.

-May I indulge you?
-Thank you!

I gotta admit, guys, this is
not a bad way to end the day.

Right.

I have to rinse the salt
off me, I'm so stinky.

Jesus!

Oh, I'm hurting.

Oh, that was a big day,
that was...

Ah.

You guys killed it.

All right, lines across.

Wedgie!

Move in.
We need to get this moved

so we can bring
the NautiBuoys in.

I'll go get my blacks.

-How was it?
-Hard, hard work.

Rayna, we'll just
get all this stuff off the deck

as quick as we can.

God, what a hot mess.

How's your shoulder?

Yeah, it's all right.

Rayna, can you be
a bit quicker, please?

I'm... yeah, I'm trying to...

You're just walking around,
whistling.

-No, I'm not.
-Like, this isn't...

We're not... we're not...
we're not chilling.

I'm bringing all the dishes
to the galley.

No, you're not pulling
you're weight.

That's not...
that's what you're doing.

-That is not true,
-It is true.

That's not true.
Do not talk to me like...

Oh, you've brought five bags,
oh, that's nice.

Rethink the way
you talk to me.

Because I swear to God,
you're...

I'm not the one.
Rethink that.

You need to start
pulling your weight.

Who the *bleep*
are you talking to,

like, you know what I'm saying?
Like, calm down.

Coming up...

Make sure they're ready to go.

I don't need any *bleep* ups.

This sh-- needs to be secured!

*bleep* me.

Seems like something's
going on.

Mother----er.

*bleep*
oh, no...

That luau was cool.

Probably some of the best
eating I've had in a while.

So glad that the guests
are still full from the luau.

Welcome to the newest
trend of 2021...

linner!

Lunch and dinner...

you jam it into one and
you go to bed early.

It's great.

How are you feeling?

I would just be happy if
the boat would stop swaying.

Yeah?

I keep just trying to sing
to myself, you know?

Everyone needs
a coping mechanism.

Ah.

I'm really proud of my team.

They killed it today.

I like the fact that Jake
pays attention and he listens.

So, I'm leaning towards
we made the right call.

Called it.

Boop.

I think so.

I want a shower.
My nose hurts.

-Go for it.
-Aye-aye.

You better.

We good?

Crazy as *bleep*.

-It's crazy, huh?
-You are.

It wouldn't be the first time
somebody's called me crazy.

I can't switch off.

I get just get into
that mentality of...

Yeah, you get into...

get the ----ing sh-- done
as quick as you can.

Maybe you're not seeing it,

but today was, like,
really hard for me.

Yeah.

I cried earlier, because it's
like, I don't have an attitude.

Like, I'm just...
I'm not happy all the time.

Well, we got there
in the end, and now...

Thank God.

Now we're all good.

Why don't you knock
off 20 minutes early

and go get some rest?

We can handle it
from here, yeah?

-Thank you.
-Of course, always.

Are you guys staying
up for a while?

-A little bit.
-Good, enjoy it.

We've only been up
since 5:30, so...

I'm sure you can't
relate at all.

I have no idea what that's like.

Yeah.

How does this look for you?

I milk, milk, milkie!

-You good?
-Yeah.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

I'm gonna keep bugging
you about it.

It's nothing, I don't wanna
get anyone in trouble.

You're not gonna get
anyone in trouble.

Jake is just, like...

his just, delivery's
not so good.

Can you give me an example?

He told me, like,
"You just move too slow."

"Like, you don't pull your
weight on this team."

Like, he's just,
like, really going in.

I can understand how
that can be hurtful.

I talked him, like, eventually,
and I was just kinda, like...

-Yeah, and everything's good?
-Yeah, everything's fine.

You're good?

Like, you can, like, speak
respectfully outside

of cussing at me
and yelling at me.

Because, like, I'm not gonna
receive that correctly.

Okay, but at the same time,
you need to remember

that he is
the lead deckhand now,

so you gotta take
that role seriously.

Maybe you should try
to absorb some of it.

Remember, he's just getting
into this role right now.

Yeah.

And he's doing a really,
really good job.

The way Jake acts towards me,
if I told my officer

that on my last boat, he'd be
like, "Tell him to *bleep* off,

and next time,
come talk to me."

It was very, like,
in an aggressive, like...

Yeah, well, this is
kind of aggressive.

Yeah.

This is an aggressive season
that we're in, okay?

-Yeah.
-Okay, cool.

You did a good job today.

-Thank you so much.
-No problem.

I'm off to bed.

-Shall we?
-We shall.

Have a gorgeous evening.

You as well, get some sleep.

Cat person or dog person?

I have a cat, but...

Night, bro.

I like both.

I think I was a cat
in another life,

because I could just lie around.

I don't not like Wes.

Wes is just a good,
down-to-Earth person.

I just... I'm...

I was basically in
quarantine for, like, a year,

where I just, like,
lived in my robe for days.

Yeah, let's go back to that.

During the daytime, I say
I hate my ----ing life.

This is kicking my ass.

You're gonna be on
at 6:30, right?

Abso-tutely.

I'm 6:00, woo!

What's happening now?

Lucy, I'm home.

-Good night.
-See you in the morning.

Jesus, it's cold in here.

Oh *bleep*.

Cheers, good morning.

-Oh, morning.
-Thank you so much.

-You are so welcome.
-How are you this morning?

I'm doing very well, thank you.

Just gonna give you
----ing crab.

-Ready to hoist.
-Let's get outta here.

Long stay, 12:00.

All right, I'm plating now.

Anchor's home, locking it in.

We're outta here.

Ready?

This can go.

This is stone crab claws?

Yes, and then after
that is the king crab.

Beautiful.

So, today for breakfast
I've decided to do king crab,

snow crab,
and huevos rancheros.

Here you are, I'm just gonna
keep bringing it up, okay?

It's like, let's bump up,
bump up, bump up the tip,

bump up the tip, just the tip.

I'm gonna garnish, and
these will be ready to rock.

Oh, my... yep.

That's so good.

-Wow, she's so clear here.
-Swear to God.

Look at that.

Oh, that's gorg.

Yeah.

You guys ready on deck?

----ing hell.

-Are we ready?
-No, we're not.

-Not yet.
-One minute.

Let's get it done, I'm a
thousand yards from the markers.

-Can you get that fender pumped?
-Yep.

Make sure they're ready to go.
I don't need any *bleep* ups.

Yes, sir.

All right, let me help you
out quick here.

Chuck that.

What do you guys need to do?

Just get this heaving
line through.

What about fenders?

There needs to be a fender right
here, that big boy, that's it.

This fender will just have
to be tied on the railing.

Yes, yeah, yeah, I know,
yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Tie it off.
-Thank you, though.

Right here.

Three, two, one.

This sh-- needs to be
secured, seriously.

All right, we can get
fenders over once we go

past over here.

When you tie your fender,
secure it as well,

in case it does blow off.

I need radio silence
from here on out.

Go ahead and drop fenders.

Oh, man, we lost the cover.

Fender cover's lost.

It seems like
something's going on.

What happened to the fender?

-Not secured.
-Jesus Christ.

That luau was cool.

Go ahead and drop fenders.

Oh, man, we lost the cover.

What happened to the fender?

-Fender cover's lost.
-Mother----er.

If you don't see the
fender cover is secured,

well, then secure it first.

Need to be checking these
things, people,

and that means everyone.

Sorry about that, Cap,
won't happen again.

This is frustrating.

It's little things
like that show

Wes's inexperience
on a mega-yacht.

Somewhere, Captain Lee
is cussing up a storm right now.

Can't even get the ----ing
Goddamn fenders out.

Sixty-five feet off flush
bow to stern.

I'm gonna go start
packing, then.

Holding about 15 feet.

Let's get the lines out.

-Lines out.
-Lines.

Let's take up on
these bow lines.

-Copy.
-Tighten it up.

We all locked in?

Locked in!

Okay, that works.

*bleep* me.

One more cocktail?

I'd like to see who's gonna tear
me off of this ----ing thing.

Attention all crew,
attention all crew.

I need everybody in their whites
for guest departure, please.

Ow!
*bleep* my life!

I ----ing put my earring
through the cut in my finger!

Ah!

All good things must come
to an end.

Oh! Yeah, I know.

Thank you so much.

You're welcome, my pleasure.

-The food was incredible.
-See you later.

Thank you again, and I am
sorry for my actions.

-No, that's all right.
-I really appreciate it.

I appreciate everybody
being so patient with us

on the first night.

The pig roast was awesome,

and in our appreciation,
I have this for you all.

Thank you.

-Cheers, you guys.
-Be well.

Let's go, pitter-patter.

We can all say it
together now...

*bleep* off.

Boy, am I glad that's over.

Let's get that garbage.

Jess, if you wanna
strip the beds.

Fraser, if you wanna grab all
the trash from all the rooms.

Yes, ma'am.

♪ I need a drying rag

♪ Because you are a hag

-Hey, you.
-Hey, babe.

Hey, fancy meeting you here.

Yeah.

Eew.

Attention all crew,

I need everyone in the
crew mess immediately.

Deck team copies.

Rachel and Fraser copy.

Mm.

Overall, I think the charter
went pretty good,

forgive the first night.

But I think this
morning's docking...

you guys didn't
look really coordinated.

The fenders... we need to
pay more attention to that.

Yeah, we'll work on that.

Remember that everything
needs to be secured.

It is not acceptable to have
things sliding overboard.

It's really embarrassing
to have a crew

that's not really paying
attention to the little details.

The fender covers might
not be expensive,

but this is a mega-yacht,

and they need to get
their sh-- together.

But other than that, I think
everybody performed well.

Nineteen thousand,
eight hundred.

Whoa!

So, that's 1,650 each.

Awesome.

You deserve to go out
and celebrate tonight.

You can tell Heather to
go *bleep* herself any time

if it leads to a $20,000 tip.

-Bye, Captain!
-Thanks, Captain Lee.

Thank you.

See you later,
guys, you're welcome.

Get back to work.

Drying is so mind-numbing.

Okay, it's time for a beer.

Fraser, Jess,
both of you go down.

Eddie, how long have you
worked with Captain Lee?

This is my fifth year
working with Captain Lee.

What's the worst thing you've
done to piss him off?

The worst mistake
I probably ever made

was I slept with a stew
in the laundry room.

Ah!

He wasn't angry with me,
he was just disappointed.

You got your dirty laundry
aired but good.

Don't mind telling you,
I expected more.

And then I had a girlfriend
back home at the time.

No!

Yeah, I ----ed up.

I was embarrassed about myself,

I destroyed a
----ing relationship that,

like, I really cared about.

So, I took five years off.

Really?

Yachting is not
for relationships.

No... well, I mean, it can be.

Yeah.

I'm gonna go pop
in the shower.

I need lotion,
'cause I am dry and ashy,

I do not like that, no.

Party shirt.

Ready to rumble.

Oh, my God,
my face was right there.

Oh, my God.

Do we know how old Heather is?

What do you guys reckon?

Thirty-two.

Thirty-two, 33, 34, 35.

I hope so.

Imagine we find out she's,
like, 10 years younger than us,

and I've just
been bossed around by a child

-for the past two weeks.
-No, she's not.

I'd be ----ing furious.

-Get out!
-I'm going!

Woo!

I'm gonna freeze my tits off.

This place is awesome.

Isn't this beautiful?

This is so nice!

I'm just gonna have
the vegan penne pasta.

The Australian lamb chops.

Mussels and a ribeye...
say no more.

Can I see the Jenga?

Can you pass that to me, please?

*bleep* me,
I'm actually kinda scared.

Truth...

have you ever peed
in a hot tub,

dot, dot, dot, recently.

I have not.

Thank you.

This is delicious.

Jessica, what's in
your bedside drawer?

Oh, God, I do not wanna know.

Candy? Good for you!

This is so sad.

Truth... have you ever made
out with someone here?

I'm gonna say no.

Don't pick another one.

Is that...

Just tell us who you would like
to make out with at the table.

-Oh!
-Woo!

Yes!

If I have to choose...

Just say it!

Jess, Jess, Jess!

-It's Jess!
-It's Jess!

Woo!

I could show him
a thing or two.

What's your dare?

Give someone a lap dance.

Make it happen.

Here we go!

Bring it back here.

Can I touch?

Woo, I'm touching!

Oh, Goddamn!

Ah!

----ing hell!

Too much!
Too much!

I'll be ready for
you next time, Jake.

You just manhandled me.

No wonder
why he's lead deckhand!

Coming up...

-Ah!
-Ah!

No way! No way!

What? Whoa!

Oh!

I saw that!

All right.

Oh, wow.

That'll warm you up.

You're so funny,
and the fact that...

What do you mean,
there's plenty of choice.

There's no choice.

Oh, are you gay, then?

Yeah, just need to find
a guest, I guess.

I'm so shocked that
it's taken Jake this long

to piece that together.

Ah, bless him.

Boys and girls, are you ready?

Skiddly-diddly.

-Ugh!
-Get your ass in this car!

Get the *bleep* in!

Everybody wants a
piece of Fraser.

How does it feel to be wanted?

Like, real
good. Like, super good.

-But, like, I don't--
-Super *bleep*...

Hold on, drop the American!

I'm super worried
about the fact that, like,

I've left my friend back
in the car.

That was good.
That was good.

-We're here.
-Hot tub.

We're getting that
mother----in' hot tub.

Ugh.

Get the *bleep* outta here.

Are we going in the hot tub?

-I don't know.
-Don't lie to me.

You like that?

Oh, no, the guests' socks.

Whoops.

This feels great.

-Eddie!
-Oh, my God.

It's a party you heathen
son of a bitches.

Yeah!

Ah!

And that is how
you ----ing exit.

Yeah!

Ah!

Ah!

All right,
good night, everybody.

Where the hell is Eddie going?

Whew.

Oh, my God.

I need a shower and
a glass of champagne,

but I have a feeling that's not
gonna be on offer this evening.

Hey, sweetheart,
how you doing?

I'm good.

Ah!

I need a girlfriend
that lets you

disappear for
couple months on end.

It's not easy.

So, it's great, yeah.

And she's handling it well also.

----ing lies.

No comment.

Does anybody handle this
sh-- well?

Ah!

Ow!

No way, no way, ah!

What? Whoa!

Oh!

This Rayna-Jake thing
is gonna be, like,

a ----ing roller coaster.

Now Fraser's included.

Ah, this could get messy.

Well, I am going to B-E-D.

Okay.

Good night, guys, I'm out.

Yeah.

-I'm done.
-Catch you on the flip side.

Lord, help me.

Mm.

Rayna, can you put a muffin
in for us, please?

Do I look like
the ----ing muffin man?

No. No!

Up top.

You can stay there.

You're engaged?

-Well, technically.
-You didn't tell me that.

I cannot believe any of this.
You're a ----ing liar.

What the *bleep* do you mean
that you're engaged?

You stuck your tongue
down my throat,

and you don't wanna say nothing?

I feel like a ----ing idiot.

It's complete bullsh--.

I mean, this is
the classic example

of why you don't
do crew romances.

It's just gonna be
an absolute disaster.

Next on "Below Deck"...

Hello!

The kid has a case
handcuffed to his wrist.

Five-star service...
and a nanny.

Hi, my pleasure.

Ugh.

Am I following you to your...
oh, I'm going...

-No, your room's down there.
-Mine's down there?

Okay.

She was gonna follow me in here.

Love that guy.

Laugh it up, funny boy.

Jess, she's just, like, moping
around as if, like, pure misery.

I just don't feel like
she wants to be here,

and I'm not gonna keep
trying to pull her up.

Cushions, cushions, cushions.

*bleep*

I'm just so ----ing frustrated.

I want things covered, I don't
want another ----ing thing

falling off this boat, copy?

That's ----ing bullsh--.