Below Deck (2013–…): Season 9, Episode 12 - New Stew on the Block - full transcript

Previously, on
"Below Deck"...

My body is just shutting down.

I'm really sorry.
I need to leave.

We do have a new stew that'll
be joining this trip.

It's that friend of
yours, Kaylee.

Very excited.

Tony Thornton is our primary.

Retired naval officer, whoa.

Request permission
to come aboard.

- Permission granted.
- Thank you, sir.

Day two, beach picnic,
black-tie dinner



celebrating marriage and
Black excellence.

And, like, all-out,
very romantic.

So, what if we did, like,
a renewal of the vows.

- That's hot.
- Captain Lee could officiate.

That is perfect,
thank you so much.

I don't know how
I feel about this.

Mm-hmm.

What do you want,
you want no help at all?

- No, not at all.
- You look very defensive.

- I just don't know why... yeah.
- It was her or nobody else.

Everybody on the deck team,
including Jake,

needs to step it up.

I noticed Rayna does
a lot of eye-rolling.

She does.



I see one more ----ing eye-roll,

I'm gonna come apart
like a cheap suit.

Just been in the bridge
with captain.

He doesn't wanna see any,
like, eye-rolling,

or anything like that.

Careful,
the eye-rolling happening.

I didn't eye-roll.

- Okay.
- I just smiled.

- Good job, Rayna.
- Thank you.

I think that's one of the best
anchor pulls we've had.

Found my way to melt up
some white chocolate.

You are awesome, Heather,
thank you.

What's wrong, darling?

I'm just, like, tired of this.

I just want to...

- What the **** was that?
- What was that?

What's up?
Are you okay?

- Yeah. What's up?
- What's going on?

Nothing. What's up?

Just I don't wanna talk
about it, it's okay.

Nothing, Rachel just
needed some help.

Check and see if
everything is okay.

Yeah.

I would love to.

Poor thing, I hate
to see that.

Everything all right?
What was that noise?

That was Rayna, she's crying.

- Why?
- I don't know.

I'm trying everything in my
power to bottle everything up,

and I feel like I'm alone.

Whew.

But I can't act happy when,

like, I feel like my
feelings are genuinely,

like, getting played
with like a puppet.

Like, that's what it feels like.

Is Mel gonna be able to come
out this morning, you think?

- Yeah.
- Oh, no.

- Hi.
- Hey.

Are you okay?

Ugh, yeah.

What's wrong?

I just needed a moment.

Yeah, that's all.

Yeah.

I don't wanna talk.

Fraser, can I get
your assistance

in the galley to help carry
these orders up?

Copy, on my way.

- You're not Fraser.
- I can help, too.

So, did you need me?

Nope, all good.

Look at... look at...
look at the wall over there.

Just look...
that's the orders.

- Wow.
- Yeah.

We're not even halfway through
the charter,

and I'm realizing how much
I have to do today,

and I'm just like,
can I get another espresso?

We've got a beach picnic,
a vow renewal...

honestly, I'm so relieved,

because Kaylee's about
to fly in and save the day.

Those are ready to roll.

Beautiful.

Please take some
weight off my back,

because this thing is
hurting right now.

Okay, perfect,
yeah, of course.

Thank you, dear sir.

Awesome, let's do this.

Yes.

They wanna take her
breakfast to her room.

Okay.

So, she wants the special,
shrimp and grits,

and pancake on the side.

I'ma wait to see
what happens, man,

because she may beat our ass
for asking for crepes.

Very nice.

Another ----ing chef.

Thanks.

D'accord.

Melissa, I have your pancakes.

Is it okay to come in?

Lookit, you guys, the water...

so, there's little
spots of blue.

I think we're good.

Does look like it's turning,
doesn't it, the weather?

No, you're okay.

I know, that'd be great.

Is Rayna okay?

She's fine.

She's not fine, she's not fine,
but it'll be fine.

Hi.

- Thanks, Rayna.
- We should be good.

You good?
She good?

Yeah, yeah.

Perfect.

- Beautiful?
- Perfect.

Thank you.

- Very helpful.
- Thank you.

No, I just said
is everything okay.

What did he say?

And in code, he was like,
nothing's okay on deck, in code.

What does that mean?

You know when, like,
people talk to you

and they don't give
you anything?

But they're, like,
things are sh--.

- You okay?
- Yeah, I'm okay.

What happened?

I don't know, the
Heather situation

kind of still bothers me.

I talked to you about it,
and you say

it shouldn't bother me,
but it does bother me.

No, no, no...
that should bother you.

I know I said that's
something that is...

I never heard it happening,

and that absolutely
should bother you,

and that was absolutely uncalled
for if that's what happened.

- Mm-hmm.
- And you need to address that.

I... I mean,
she apologized to me.

Okay.

And then, like...

like, last time we were out,
but it just

doesn't feel right
when, you know...

just none of it feels right,
if that makes sense.

Of course it does.
It shouldn't feel right.

Yeah.

You know, you don't deserve
to be talked to like...

or, like, had to hear that.

I guess she wasn't really
talking at you, right?

- No.
- Well, that's good.

But... see what I did there?

- Yeah.
- It's called "dipping the line."

A thing that we use
tying up a lot on docks.

But you should never
have to deal with that.

So, if you need to talk
about it, talk about it.

- You ready to come up?
- Yeah.

Coming up.

What made you
cry this morning?

I don't want talk
about it, seriously.

Please talk to me about it?

If you don't wanna
talk right now, but...

Maybe later.

If you don't wanna talk
about it now,

then I'm gonna get you
next chance I can.

Why can't we just talk later?

Fine, we'll talk later.

Go ahead and unclip her.

Thank you, good job.

Eddie, Eddie, Lee.

So, we're gonna do...

Rayna did a good job...

Good.
Did we find out anything?

Sounded like somebody
in distress.

Rayna, she said, "I just don't
wanna talk about it."

I said, "Fine, but we'll
talk about it later."

She did mention there were
some issues between

her and Heather that has
not sat well with her.

Heather has apologized.

I need to find out what
that is, one way or another.

I know what it is.

Well, then tell me.

I guess the other night,
a few day-offs back,

Heather dropped a word that
is extremely derogatory...

What is it?

I can't say it,
but you know what it is.

The N-word.

Yes.

Heather did apologize.

It was never directed at Rayna,
but it doesn't need to be.

I don't like the word.

I can't think
of any context

that I would think it
was acceptable.

I personally
find it offensive.

There's no place for
it on my boats.

Do you know whether
her apology was sincere?

I do not know,
I was not there for it.

But the crying wasn't because of
that, it was something else.

What was "something else?"

She said, "I don't
wanna talk about it."

I said, "Fine, well, I'm gonna
come back at you later."

You need to get
to the bottom of it.

I will.

Are we ready?

Doug, holy cow, bro.

Bro, you feel it, man?

Hola.

You wanna go to
the beach with me?

Sure.

I'm gonna send you to the beach.

Kaylee should be here by
the time you guys get back.

I just wanna be the one here to,
like, walk her through,

show her where she's at.

Great.

- Where are they going?
- Set-up for the beach.

Okay, good.

How's Melissa,
is she feeling...

- I wanna say they're resting...
- Yeah.

- Because they haven't responded.
- Yeah.

We'll take really
good care of them.

Yeah.

My poor feet.

See how she sits.

Sick!

Sick.

Oh... let her go, got it.

Ah!

Jake, Jake, Eddie.

I'm inbound.

So, if you guys are ready,
we can make a move to the beach.

I hope y'all enjoy the sun
while you got it.

- Yes.
- Yeah, thank you.

Thank you.

Fraser's there,
he's gonna take care of you.

- Thank you all.
- Thanks, Jake.

What?

Who am I, right?

What the hell does this
look like, a banquet?

---ing circle tablecloth.

All right, Eddie,
don't be shy.

You gotta gun it.

Let's welcome these
people with open arms.

That is absolutely adorable.

Hello, dear sir!

I'm only gonna go first
so I can grab my wife.

Is that our new stew?

I don't know, I think
that provisions.

The laundry and housekeeping?

Do you think she's on there?

Do I look all right?

Why?
Ah.

- Oh, my God, that is her.
- Is that her sitting there?

Yeah.

I feel a little bit betrayed.

I have earned
my place with Heather,

and we work well
with each other,

and I haven't got the best taste
in my mouth at the moment.

But I have no fear.

I'm still the baddest
bitch on board.

You're gonna help
where we need you, otherwise,

stay where you are,
and I'll do the rest.

Yeah.

- Well, well, well.
- Woo!

- Buongiorno!
- Whoa, hello, hello!

- Hi!
- Yep.

Come back and annoy
you a little later.

- Thank you.
- Hello!

- Hi, good to meet you.
- Hi, nice to meet you, Jake.

Thank you for your help.

That's all right.

This is so good.

Welcome aboard My Seanna.

I'll show you
the crew mess first,

so you can get
into some uniform.

Okay.

I have no idea
what I'm walking into.

I know it's mid-charter.

Knowing Heather will
make it a lot easier.

She's one of my best friends.

- Your cabin!
- Oh!

So much room for activities!

So, on my last boat,
Heather and I were roommates.

Mine and Heather's
relationship is, like,

she has a spotlight, and
I'm standing in the background,

still getting some light,
but I'm totally okay with that.

- There's your uniform.
- Cool.

If you wanna
take a couple minutes.

Okay, beautiful.
Thank you.

- Look at you. Yes!
- Anyone want a drink?

Yes.

Oh, my God,
that's ----ing beautiful.

Ooh, language.

♪ I like piña coladas

You like penis enlargers?

♪ Penis enlargers

- Wes, you saw the form?
- I'm watching, I'm watching.

You see the form, Wes?

Ah!

There it is.

No, I'm gonna use my left hand
to give him a chance.

- Hello?
- Hi, how you doing?

Kaylee, this is Captain Lee.

Captain Lee, this is Kaylee.

- How's it going?
- Kaylee, how are you?

- Hi, good to meet you.
- Pleasure.

We're gonna just
get right down to it.

She can fill you in.

- Very cool.
- Okay.

Come on... oh!

Oh, my God!

Let me know what you think...
on ice, of course.

Wow. I'll take it.

- Wonderful.
- Yeah.

So, tonight, dinner's at 7:30.

Seven-thirty.

- When do they wanna do the...
- Vows?

- Mm-hmm.
- After dinner.

Vow renewals.

I don't know why
anyone needs them,

but I have been volunteered.

He's like, we just wanna
love up on our wives,

and I said, "How about
we renew our vows."

- He's like, "Oh, my God."
- You suggested this?

He's like, "This is
the best idea ever."

- You suggested this?
- All the... yes, I did.

I mean, she just
rolled right over it, too.

So, I guess I'm good with it...
said no one, ever.

Pick up the toys by 5:30.

Have them ready to go by 5:30.

Everything's gotta
be wrapped up by 5:30.

So, we'll pick up
the toys at 5:00.

Okay, sounds good.

- All right?
- Thank you, Cap.

Thank you.

I'm so happy you're here,
because you know,

deck team would
be on the interior, helping out,

and we've just been so busy.

I'm excited to be here.
It'll be fun.

- We'll have a good time.
- Yeah.

This is our third charter,
and drop-off tomorrow.

Oh!

Then we get to go out and party.

I came at the perfect time.

People pay a lot of money
to have those curls, man.

No matter how much I put in
or try or anything like this,

as soon as I walk outside
with the wind,

just...

Eddie's on his way now.

Yeah, let's go,
we're ready to go.

Let's rock and roll.

Can I take anything for you?
Are we all good?

- Yes, sir.
- The welcoming crew.

It's not, is that
why you didn't go to the...

Yes.

- Hit it, let's go.
- Woo!

- Let's go, yeah!
- Woo!

- Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
- Woo!

- Success!
- Another one!

That was great!

Hey, hey, hey,
we got a new stew!

We got a new stew, woo!

I think they're
as excited as we are.

Thank you.

- And your name is?
- I'm Kaylee.

Kaylee, how are you doing?

I'm good, I'm excited
to be here.

Excellent, thank you, thank you.
Oh, look at you.

Here you go, madame.

Oh... why is he coming back?

I'm not ready.

We don't wanna go back.

So, this shot's called the
"Orange You Glad to See Me."

Orange You Glad to See Me.

- Good.
- Jake, Jake, Eddie.

We are on our way
back to the yacht.

Copy, Eddie.

I'm ready for the jet-ski.
Who's for the jet-ski?

I'm excited.

If you can tonight,
tonight's the tasting.

I know, I'm really pumped.

And it's all Japanese, Asian.

Yay!

- All right, let's roll.
- So, let's go.

All right,
come on on, darling.

All you.

****, ow.

Oh, he knows how to do it.

Rayna, this is Kaylee.

- Rayna, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

- Roomies.
- Roomies.

- Roomies.
- Yep, that's right.

Woo!

Hi, how's it going?

Our savior!

- Fraser, hi.
- Fraser, nice to meet you.

- How you doing?
- Nice to meet you, I'm Kaylee.

Nice to see you, Kaylee.

Sorry, I'm very
sweaty, post-beach.

Kaylee, Fraser.

You wanna come back on
at 4:00 and freshen up?

Oh, I love you.
Might have a little shower.

Yeah.

It's amazing to hear
the word "break."

It's not something we've been
used to on the past few trips,

but when I come back,

she can stay very much
in the laundry and cabins.

I'll be behind the bar, Kaylee.

- Come back right at 4:00.
- Yeah.

We're gonna put the skis up,
if you guys don't mind,

if you're not using them at all.

- We're done.
- Great.

Rayna, Rayna, Eddie.

- Water on the davit.
- Copy.

Uh-oh, captain's looking.

- Winching down?
- Winch down.

There you go.

- You wanna jump off?
- Okay, you're good.

It's not cold.

Just jump in.

All right, winching in.

- There you go.
- Okay.

Okay, that's good.
Do you wanna...

Yeah, that's good, that's
good... nice and smooth.

There you go, stop.

Okay, well...

Oh, nice.

- Look good to you?
- Yeah.

Good job.

Serious time.

- No!
- Oh, yeah, you and me.

I don't want to.

Well, that's too bad,
we're talking.

Ugh.

I understand what
happened between you and Heather

- was completely uncalled for...
- Mm-hmm.

And I have your back
on that 100 percent.

It bothered me more because
I feel like I came to you

because I was just, like,
not in the right head space.

I was kinda looking
for you for help,

and you kinda shrugged it off.

So, it just made me feel like

oh, I can't even
really trust my boss.

- I get you, I hear you.
- Yeah.

But I hope you know
that's not the case,

and if I had heard it happen,

I would have shut
that down, because...

- Mm-hmm.
- I do not...

do not have any patience
for that whatsoever.

Mm-hmm.

You know, I do not accept that.
There's no excuse for it.

It is not okay in
any way, shape, or form.

- Mm-hmm.
- Okay?

But that night when you and
I were talking,

you came to me
to apologize

about being
disrespectful to me...

Mm-hmm.

when I was trying to have
a conversation with you,

and that's what
I wanted to focus on.

Well, it could have
just been terrible timing,

and that's my fault.

I didn't want that to feel
like I was trying

to overpower what
the hell my apology was.

Or steer the conversation.

No, I wasn't trying to do that.

But it was something that
was really bothering me,

because it's something that's,
like, kind of important to me,

and I just felt like,
I don't know...

like, it really
hurt my feelings.

I don't know what else to say.

- I hear you.
- Yeah.

And I'm sorry that
I hurt your feelings.

- That's okay.
- That never was my intention.

Listen, I think you're
doing a great job,

and I'm having fun
teaching you do stuff,

but I wanna work
out what's happening

between you and Heather.

- There's nothing to work out.
- Why not?

Because, like, I'm not gonna
be friends with ignorance.

It's just not gonna happen.

I know...

Are you still
gonna continue to work here?

Yeah, but I don't need
to be her friend.

Okay.

I can work perfectly fine with
someone, but I don't need...

- Okay.
- to be their best friend, but...

Well, if there's anything
I can do for you

to make you feel
more welcome here...

Yeah.

That's really important to me.

- Mm-hmm.
- Okay?

Seriously.

I hope so.

Can you trust me?

We shall see.

- We shall see?
- Yeah.

Okay.

One more charter left,
a charter and a day.

Coming up...

Your husbands are
requesting your presence.

Oh, we're gonna start
crying now, ain't we?

Oh!

Lovely for you both
to join me here.

Please be sure to
locate your exit now,

as they may have changed when
you were boarding this aircraft.

We have a full team!

You wanna go down and
let's take a drink with us?

Has everyone met Kaylee?

From New Mexico,
Silver City.

Yeah.

No.

You don't wanna have
a movie night with us.

Oh, man, welcome
to the club.

So much to catch...

All right, I will be decorating
in the sky lounge.

Anyone wants to blow some
things... balloons.

Oh, my gosh.

Very handsome.

Not bad for an old guy.

I mean, not bad at all.

Let's have a great time, ready.

These look good, well done.

Woohoo!

You look like a
chocolate-covered cherry.

You can have some later.

- Okay, Rayna.
- Yes, ma'am?

Over there is some micros,
they look like radishes.

Let's go ahead and
pull those out.

So, when I was in Japan,
I really fell in love

with the fact that they're
chasing their excellence,

and they don't
reinvent the wheel,

they just perfect it.

This is how we make wasabi.

So, every single
little finite detail

has to come to
the table perfectly.

I may or may
not be a control freak.

Put it in the middle
and make a well.

It's just like making pasta.

Okay.

- All you, now.
- Awesome.

You learned how to do
the wasabi, I taught you.

Nail it.

Oh, my gosh,
I didn't even see that.

- Do you like it?
- Well, hello!

- Hello, look at you guys.
- Hello.

- Fabulous.
- Mm, mm, mm...

- Here we are to party
- You know what I'm saying?

Gorgeous, look
at my sister.

We're gonna wait for
the captain before we sit.

Captain Lee and Rachel, all
the guests are at the table.

Copy.

- Good evening.
- Good evening, sir.

- Sir?
- Well, you all look great...

Yes?

Request permission to
be seated, sir.

Please be seated.

So, the boat you
worked on before this one,

no romances on that boat?

No.

What are you doing, Kaylee?

- Everything wrong, apparently.
- Apparently.

I'm okay being single
Kaylee right now.

One-man show.

That moustache,
on the other hand...

Just kidding.

Heather's been quite
flirtatious herself.

See, that's her personality.

Yes, let's blame it on that.

I really mean this when I say
just exceeding all expectation.

I mean, even with the weather.

Being military,
we grew up being flexible.

- That's what we do.
- Yeah?

That's what we do.

You eat when you get the chance.

Exactly.

You sleep when
you get the chance.

- Sleep when you get the chance.
- Absolutely.

Because you don't know
when either one of them's

- gonna happen again.
- Mm.

Absolutely.

Guys, they are ready
to mother----ing roll.

Fraser and Kaylee,
can I get you to the galley?

Copy that.

The beach was fun,
it was beautiful.

Ah... oh, here we go.

Sometimes, Skipper, you have
to allow people to win

to feel better
about themselves.

Ooh, that was a shot.

Thank you.

Tonight, we're going to Japan.

For your sunumono, you have a
cucumber salad with snow crab,

done with a light sesame
and mirin dressing.

The green under it is moss.

It is for plating,
please don't eat it.

Seaweed salad is amazing,

and I've had some
good seaweed salad.

I have, too.
That's really good.

Can we clear this plate for you?

Ding, ding, ding...

winner, winner, miso dinner.

Captain, what are you drinking?

I am drinking apple juice
and sparkling water.

And you thought
I was pounding them, didn't you?

Did I!
I'm like, go, Captain.

- And he's driving the boat!
- Yeah, yeah.

Can we eat with our hands,
or must we use...

I would use the spoon due to
the fact that it could be hot.

But if you feel that you've
got Kevlar hands, go for it.

I stick mine in the oven...
I think you've seen it.

- How is it?
- That's awesome.

I need nine ramekins
to poach eggs.

How you doing, Rayna?

God is good!

That's good,
I'm glad to hear that.

Sadly, Mel was not feeling well.

Oh, my God, my ear.

Every time I would,
like, chew, it's just...

it's really painful.

I'm hoping by morning
I'll start to feel some relief.

**** yeah.

The two that are here,
are they ready to go as well?

Thank you.

You have caviar served
on top of a poached egg,

with a Japanese mayo.

That's awesome.

Clean-up on aisle three.

Kind of getting
a little bit faster,

because these courses are
gonna ----ing kick my ass.

They've gotta go straightaway,

because these
start moving.

We've got a Japanese
rice cake.

It's, like, moving.

What... what...
what does that mean?

It's dead.

- Okay.
- Why is it moving?

Because the way that it's dried,

the humidity is causing it
to break down in front of you.

It is delicious.

I don't think I've ever had
the same meal twice from her.

Wow.

Not even.

I can't do the cold.

If I get north of Boca,
I get a nosebleed.

Fifth course is the light
at the end of the tunnel.

- Thank you.
- Fabulous.

Tasty, tasty dish.

How are you all holding up?

Melissa being in pain
is a huge bummer,

because I feel that this is
a situation I can't control.

But at the end of the day,

this could be the reason
we lose some tip money.

Oh, yeah, matcha ice cream.

Put the rose on top of this.

That's so pretty.

Let's get it in there, boy.

Look at that bad boy.

Looks like you got
a problem there.

You should probably get
a doctor to check that out.

Yeah.

- Oh, wow.
- Thank you, beautiful.

She made it to the finale.

Yes!

Tonight you have a vanilla
panna cotta with

a matcha ice cream and
gold-brushed rose petals.

That's a real rose petal, right?

It is edible.

- Fabulous.
- Thank you.

Dear God, 30,000 tip,
here we come.

- Amazing.
- Thank you.

That was...

I mean, I wish I had a
better word than "amazing."

Ladies, so, I just have
to show you all one thing.

Fellas, I'll be right back.

- Oh, you guys are staying here?
- Yes, please.

Let's have a seat,
and I'll be right back.

Thank you, baby.

Heather, are you ready?

Copy, yes, Captain Lee,
I'm on my way up.

What's going on?

So, you're gonna officiate, sir.

- I love you all.
- I love you, too.

Grab my glasses?

Oh, my gosh!

Your husbands are
requesting your presence.

I will lead you
to your grand surprise.

Oh! Oh!

Oh, we gonna start
crying now, ain't we?

Oh, God.

We all know that this past
year has been tumultuous,

frightening, and shall we say
just a wee bit uncertain.

But the difficult times
have reminded us

of the vows that we
have made our partners.

Today, we're here in
the beautiful Caribbean

to celebrate your bonds
with each other

and reaffirm your vows.

I'd like to finish with,

"I take you, once again,
to be my partner in life.

"I pledge my love,
devotion, faith,

and honor, as I continue
my life with you."

That calls for an "I do."

I do.

The way these husbands look
at their wives,

it's probably the most beautiful
thing I've ever seen.

I want that.

- Thank you.
- Privilege was ours.

I love it.

I love Black love.

I mean, it's honestly something
people my age need to see.

You all look like newlyweds.

Thank you, sir.

Enjoy the rest of your evening.

Gentlemen, thank you very much.

Thank you, Heather.

- I appreciate it all.
- Nice job tonight.

Good night.

- Love you all.
- Good night, thank you.

- Love y'all, love y'all.
- Love you guys.

I'm going down.

You're gonna come down too, but
just be on the floor at 7:00.

Have a good sleep, guys.

Good night.

Oh, it was so nice, thank you.

Looks like your conversation
with Rayna went well.

Yes and no.

I feel super deflated after it.

Deflated?

Yeah, because she said
that the main issue

that she was having
was with me.

With you?

Accusing me of brushing off
that information

when I first found out about it.

I... I... and
I think I'm, like, trying...

like, I think I'm already
pressured on another level.

I can understand that.
I did not hear her say that,

and I would have not been
okay with her saying that.

I know you weren't there,
but, like, Jake was there...

Well, I was in the...
I was in the car.

No, it wasn't in the car.

Oh, it wasn't in the car, okay.

It once in the restaurant,
and then I told her, like,

No, you can't say those things.

You need to take care
of yourself

and you need to stand up
for yourself when need be.

But when it comes down to
just getting the job done...

Yeah.

That's what this is about,
is getting the job done.

Yeah.

Try to separate
what's happening personally

with what's happening on deck.

I definitely don't feel like
I just brushed it off and was,

like, everything's
fine, don't worry about it.

Like, ignore that.
Like, I wouldn't do that.

I can appreciate
where she's coming from,

where she might feel
uncomfortable.

But if she can work it out
and work with it,

if she's doing her job,
that's all I care about.

- Okay.
- Okay?

Sounds good to me.

If there's any issues,
let me know.

- You got it, Cap.
- Okay.

- See you in the morning.
- All right, pal. Thanks.

Ah!

Oh!

Oh, you mother----er.

Oh, God.

Do you want to do
something special

for Mel
this morning, something...

Well, I just talked to her,

and she still wants
to rest a little bit.

- She's not gonna come out.
- Okay.

**** yes, check out
corn waffles, mother----.

We have a seafood omelette
with smoked salmon,

crème fraiche, and caviar,

as well as chicken and waffles,

and then a banana
fosters French toast.

Banana foster French toast.

Beautiful.

I woke up with chicken
and waffles on my mind.

Okay.

I don't know if you know this,
but you're kind of a boss.

It ain't easy bein' breezy.

Good sir?

Oh, my. Might put us in a
coma before we leave.

So good.

Chef Rachel.

Let's get outta here, Jake.

Copy that.

Short stay, 10:00.

Anchor secured.

I have Captain Lee's
things drying,

and they're all his,
and these are done.

Fab.

This is amazing.

I know it's, like,
almost there.

- No, it's really organized.
- I can actually breathe.

It's good, it's really nice.

I'm really surprised.
So far, so good.

But my first impressions
take is not always correct.

In fact, it's mostly incorrect,

so I can only hope for
the best on this one.

or are you messing with me?

No.

I did not say
underwear ironed...

Right.

No, no, no, I didn't mean that,
if that's what I said.

- Okay, yeah, I didn't...
- No.

Awesome, thank you.

I'll just be with
the guests, my love.

Okay.

Do you need me to sit on it?

Time to go.

I wonder how long
my flowers will last?

I think I'm gonna cry.

- No, don't cry.
- No crying?

- No, crying.
- Okay.

Clearing at 40 feet.

This is impressive
in these conditions.

As soon as you can with lines,
go for it.

All right, let's tighten 'em up.

Woo!

Yes!

All right, I need to get ready.

There's a wine fridge
behind the outside bar.

Can you grab me a bottle
of rosé from there?

Mm-hmm.

Attention all crew,
attention all crew.

I need everybody
on the main deck in whites.

Hi.

Have you lost weight?
You're looking fantastic.

- That's not a compliment.
- You look amazing.

I'm just fishing for compliments
from him, that's all.

Oh, my God.

- Thank you.
- Rayna.

- It's my retirement coin...
- Yes.

And I wanted to give it to you,
so you can have one.

No, no, no...

No, no, no, it's my name,
which is everything.

- Oh, my God.
- Thank you.

Thank you so much,
oh, my goodness.

Claudia presented me with her
United States Navy service pin.

It's extremely rare,

and for somebody to present
that to you and say "thank you,"

it means a great deal.

Oh, my God.

- My man.
- I'll see you brother.

So, I was thinking of
some superlatives

to articulate how
wonderful you all are.

I couldn't come up
with anything,

because you're all that good.

And so, the best way
to say thank you

is by saying we love you guys.

Thank you so much.

- Permission to go ashore.
- Granted.

Thank you, sir.

Bye!

Woo!

- Best team ever!
- Ever!

Let's go to work.

- Ah!
- Caw-caw!

All right, let's get into
our off-charter uniform.

Don't, if I get in that,
I'm not coming out.

Oh, God.

And we'll just do
it in sections,

move out to the hot tub.

Me and Rayna are gonna
shag on the Internet.

We're not doing that.

You are going to do it.

No, but we're just
gonna do pictures,

like my willy on her face...

- My willy on Fraser's face.
- It's gonna be great.

You guys go from different
during the work day

and then as soon as we get off,
you're, like, love triangle.

I know.

That's because I hate him,
working with him,

but I think I like him
for just friends.

I don't think I'd like
you as friends.

Are you serious?

I like you, shut the **** up!

Shut the **** up,
you stupid kid!

I told you...

Coming up...

- What the ****?
- It's a thong.

I'll do squats.

Yeah, look at Jake's ass, again.

All right, let's rinse
and dry and pack up,

and get ----ed up.

- The other day...
- Mm-hmm.

I went into that cabina
and I tried the bidet.

It was...

there was something trickling,
so I turned it,

and it shot right in my
face and all of my...

- Shut the ****...
- And all over the ceiling.

And it was so bad,
and I was there on my own.

And then how anyone can put
their foof on top of that...

How anyone can put their what?

You could lose your virginity
on that thing.

What is your...
your what?

- Foof, darling.
- Foof?

Yes.

What's a "foof?"

It's a nice way of calling...

it's a pudenda.

- "Pudenda."
- What's your pudenda?

- Your...
- Your no no square.

Yeah, your...

Okay, you guys need
to use a word...

- Your hoo-hah.
- Your fish purse.

What?

Can I show you?

The bidet is for cleansing
of the lower carriage.

Let's be honest...
like, no one uses them, ever.

Ah!

Oh, my God!

In my ----ing face!

As much as I could
do with a facial,

I just really hope
I don't get pink eye.

That's aggressive.

It is, take your hymen
right off.

Attention all crew, I need
everybody in the crew mess ASAP.

Just throw the money
on me, Captain.

Remember when we had
leg room that one time?

Guys, I feel this, 30k.

We're gonna get the 30k.

I'm going 25.

Everybody got a good dose of
military personnel, didn't they?

I think for the most part,
we rose to the occasion.

These guys, from being
in the Navy,

take a lot of pride
in what they do,

which is what I expect
from each of you.

The tip...
25,000.

On the dot.

That's $2,270 each.

Kaylee, I do appreciate you
coming in on short notice.

Thank you for having me.

And I'm just gonna peel that off
and slide that your way for one.

Well, thank you.

Anybody else that
would like to...

No, guys...
can feel free.

- Welcome aboard.
- Awesome.

Thank you guys so much.

Of course.

For the rest of the day I want
you working hard until 5:00.

We're going to have guests
on tomorrow morning.

We'll be leaving
the dock at 11:00.

So, I guess that's about it.

- Awesome.
- Thank you.

Thank you.

Another one bites the dust.

Power on.

Oh.

- One more.
- One more.

Take us out at the knees.

Hoorah.

We just need to do the
hot tub and aft section.

Man, this thing did get grungy.

Wes, I have a lot of questions.

Yeah, go for it.

Have you ever had
a threesome before?

I have gotten close.

I don't have to ask you, Jake.

Yeah.

- Heather?
- Yeah?

Can you assist me?

Hi.

It's still going.

- No, it's not.
- Yeah, it is.

We need to go start the slide.

I'll still be done
before you guys.

Yeah, never...

- Yes, I would.
- Ever happen, ever.

Yes, I would.

Are we all done?

That's the moral of the story.
I'm gonna go grab...

Just grab beers for us all?

Beers?

Oh! ****
Jesus Christ!

Oh, my God.

I've been gone
for five seconds.

Oh!

I'll iron this shirt
if you wanna wear it.

Ooh, that would be nice.

Brr-brr-brr-brr!

I'm the best roommate ever.

Do you mind if
I roll your sleeves?

No, do whatever you want.

Transforming the world
into a better world

one threaded linen
at a time.

♪ Tail party, uh, uh, uh

♪ It's a tail party,
nah, nah, nah ♪

♪ It's tail, tail party

♪ Tail, tail party

I'm gonna be that
bitch this evening.

Can I wear one of your thongs?

I thought if I get the ass out
when I freshen it up a bit.

When was the last time you
wet-wiped or used a bidet?

I just got out of the shower.

♪ I'm drinking rum and
Red Bull ♪

I love it.

Usually most men
take them off me,

but if you wanna take 'em from
me, that's a different story.

First night, Kaylee.

My ass is out.

♪ At least for a little while

♪ So many beauties, y'all

♪ Time to make a booty call

Guys, what do
you think of Kaylee?

Moral of the story is
that we've got someone

who's here to genuinely help.

She's great.

God, you guys already
take enough time

on the frigging toilet.

Oh, half-hour, minimum.

No wonder why,
because they all have bidets.

♪ It's taken time
to accept that ♪

♪ I didn't mean much to you

♪ So many beauties, y'all, mm

♪ Time to make a booty call

Yeah, awesome.

This is lovely!

Thank you.

Very warm welcome to Kaylee,
and a very successful trip.

- Well done to everyone.
- Thank you!

Okay, this is grilled mahi-mahi.

Family-style, thank you very
much.

Oh, it's like we're a family.

It's like we like each other.

We do still like you.
You just got here.

Oh, here we go.
Here's my pick-me-up.

- Yeah.
- Cheers, everybody.

Thank you, Rayna,
for your help in the galley,

and everyone else too as well.

Cheers, babe.

Thank you for allowing me
to be there.

Rachel has made me realize
that cooking is something

that I would like to take
serious in the future.

It genuinely just
makes me happy.

Don't you know that book,

"Chicken Noodle
Soup for the Soul?"

Like, that's what it feels like.

And honestly,
I need to be my own boss.

A boss-ass bitch.

Rayna, you're an
amazing deckhand.

Yeah.

But your fire turns on
in the kitchen.

In the kitchen.
That's what my mom always says.

- Laser focus.
- Laser focus.

Yeah.

That's your passion...
it's your passion.

I'm so tired,
I wanna be outside.

- I know, we gotta wake you up.
- It'll wake me up.

Do 10 jumping jacks right now.

Dance.
Dance, monkey.

Get up!

- What the ****?
- He has a thong on.

I'll do squats.

Yeah, look at
Jake's ass, again.

You know, at this point he
should just put a shirt on.

You know his ass is
gonna come out

and dick's gonna come
out at some point.

Just put a ----ing shirt on,
that's all you need, man.

Coming up...

Careful, Jake, careful, Jake!

Jake, you asshole!

I'm not ----ing sharing
the back seat with him.

Hey, who wants to go to
the mother----ing bar?

- Good evening!
- Hey!

Hey!

- Oh, he's naked again.
- Ah!

Of course he is.

You're gorgeous.

Yeah?

Oh!

I want to
apologize for something

that you weren't around for,
and that was my apprehension.

The minute that I heard my chief
had brought her second over,

my insecurities went
through the roof.

And I just thought all of my
hard work and my efforts are...

null and void anymore.

But you've taken initiative
and you've respected me,

and I really appreciate that.

Thank you.

I have really got a different
perspective on things now.

I was being immature.

This stemmed from my insecurity,

and I was just being
a little brat.

So, we all need to come
together and do the job.

That's genuinely all
I'm concerned about.

Thank you so much.

Guys, I'm so thrilled, and
that means the world to me.

You both mean
the world to me, honestly.

Do you wanna even up,

because I've just got
double slapped on one cheek.

Do you wanna even it up?

Oh!

Why is your ass so hairless?
It bothers me.

- All right, you guys ready?
- Let's go, come on.

Why is everything
in the water?

Not in my T-shirt,
not in my T-shirt,

I swear to God.

It costs more money than you do.

Careful, Jake, careful, Jake!

Jake, you asshole!

Something wrong with him,
honest... I swear!

Jake, put your willy away.
Jake, put your willy away.

Look at those bangers and mash.

I was blinded by sex appeal,
100 percent.

I'm not ----ing sharing
a back seat with him,

that's for sure.

You're getting in the back.

Stop ----ing rubbing
your Goddamn nipples!

That was epic.

---ing animal.

Baby boy.

Ass is out,
everything's out.

Oh, do you wanna see our bidet?
I was telling you about this.

Follow me!

You set my soul on fire.

I've never seen so many
----ing tubes

in the back of a ----ing bidet.

I'm gonna be so drunk
when we get into bed.

- You're wasted already.
- Yeah.

- Hot water, cold water.
- Just turn it, just turn it.

Why is it hot?

I'm ----ing soaked.

I feel like the one person
I'm gonna stay friends with

out of here on
this boat is you.

I do, too.

The fact that we have
such a good, like,

relationship as
a mate is so good.

- Yeah.
- So good.

Most of these guys in yachting,

they've all been at boarding
school and very privileged.

and I don't consider myself
a yachty twat either.

So, as different as we are,
friends for ----ing life.

Should we go to bed?

Is this all booty juice
all over you, from the bidet?

Yeah, it's covering me.

No, no, no, no, no, no! No!

- Love you.
- Love you so much.

- I'll see you in the morning.
- See you in the morning.

- Mwah.
- My own.

- Good night.
- Sweet dreams, darlin'.

- Good night.
- Good night.

Next, on "Below Deck"...

The last one of
the season, kids.

Jennifer is a real
estate entrepreneur.

She's ready to celebrate
her booming business

by enjoying the charter
of a lifetime.

- Hello.
- Hello.

Welcome aboard.

So, they love the musical
"Hamilton."

What's on your ----ing mind?

It's Alexander Hamilton!

I brought you ice cream!

Lin Manuel...
what's up, I'm available.

You look like you're gonna
cry or kill someone.

I'm, like, so grumpy and over
people being grumpy and over.

Oh.

I put on my preference sheet
a million times,

no cooked fish for me.

No cooked fish of any sort,

and she was like,
"Yeah, shellfish."

Bloody ----ing sh--.

I'm lost.

Go down a deck and just
start going, caw caw, champagne.

- Go down one?
- Go down one?

Jesus Christ, we are
not even close

to the Goddamn finish line.

Either get your heads out of
your ass or I will eat your ass.

Hey, Cap.

No, no, no...

Oh, something just went off.

Oh, no.
Something happened.

Yeah, it's something important.

****