Below Deck (2013–…): Season 4, Episode 1 - No One Said This Job Was Easy - full transcript

Captain Lee, Kate, Ben and Kelley are joined by five new crewmembers as they prepare for a new charter season. The crew welcomes their first charter guests, a social media obsessed darling ...

Blue waters, sailing,
rainbows.

They all look so beautiful

- from the porthole
- in the laundry room.

I feel like

I'm being punished.

- Starting a new charter season,

I'm stoked.

I'm ready for a whole new set

of challenges from the crew...

- Do you really want
- to go to war on this?

From the guests...



- I can't let go of the pole.

- I don't blame you.

From the weather.

- F...!
- [glass shatters]

- Sometimes things
- going sideways gets exciting.

- I wasn't the most thrilled
- to see you when I got on board.

- Yes!

- Coming back to work
- for Captain Lee

Is trial by fire.

- Are we clear?
- Yep, we're clear.

- Good, I want it done.

- Am I nervous?
- Hell, yeah.

- I've been cooking

professionally for 17 years,



so I'm prepared for anything

that's gonna come in the door.

- Mix those separately.

- That dog is probably
- healthier than I am.

90% of my job is just acting

- like everything's fine
- when it's not.

- [hair rips]
- [screaming]

Both: Thank you.

- It's kind of sick,
- the back hair

- That I carried away
- on a silver tray.

- Is this shackle?
- Yeah, that'll work.

- - When the boatswain's
- not there,

I am in charge

of the deckies.

And I need to know that

my deckhands respect me.

- Nico, go drain the hot tub now,
- quick, quick.

- My name is Nico.

They also call me Freako,

because of my, uh, misconduct.

- Actually, that's quite nice.

I love Nico so much;

he's so cute.

- Elvis is out, people, huh!

- Being on deck, you know,

it's predominantly male-driven.

- .
- All right, you guys, come on.

- A lot of times,
- guys will be like...

- It's kind of heavy.
- You okay with it?

- I'm like,
- "I can carry it. It's fine."

- She's strong.
- But all my makeup

Is waterproof,

'cause I sweat buckets.

- I usually give off

first impressions

of being very normal

and conforming,

but I'm not really

that normal.

[thumping club music]

- [cheering]
- Yeah-yeah!

- This position is definitely
- the most exciting

Position in the world.

- My whole life, I've been
- a happy, precocious,

Free-spirited...

[people humming mantras]

Humble person.

- The people that charter

these boats know what they want.

- I want my feet rubbed,
- and I'm not kidding.

- And it's up to us
- to deliver.

- Yeah, we're gonna
- give it to you.

[cheering]

- God bless America,

let's have f... ing fun.

[cheering]

- It's an unknown journey.

- I'm here to work.

- I'm not here
- to have drama.

- It's dangerous.

- What the f...?
- That is a power line.

- Oh, sh...

- - It's chaotic.
- Sh...!

- I'd be surprised
- if we got

- Through it
- without a casualty or two.

- God damn it!
- Ooh!

- But... nature of the beast.

[horn blaring]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- Oh, my gosh.

This is like my dream interior.

I am so happy.

I'm so happy to see you here,

and you, love you.

- Hey, kiddo.

- Hi, how are you?

I always enjoy working

for Captain Lee.

We know each other's quirks,

we know each other's strengths,

and he trusts me.

What's not to trust?

- Third time around.
- The charm.

- What do you think?
- Best boat we've ever had.

- She just came out
- of a total refit on the inside.

- There is nothing on this boat
- that's not white.

- I love that.

- As far as your stews go,
- I brought you résumés.

They're both experienced.

- Oh, she's British,
- okay, cool.

- Coming onto a boat
- with two new stews

Is definitely nerve-wracking.

- Down to the crew quarters.
- All right, sweetie.

- But anything's gonna be easier

than working with Rocky.

- I need you to be thankful
- for this experience.

- This is me.

- Don't...

- [crying]

- She's gonna jump.

- Yeah, she's jumping.

- Welcome back.

- Good to be back.

- Captain Lee?

Hey, Captain, how you doing?

- Our last charter season,
- I was with Captain Lee,

I was a second engineer,

- and this season,
- I'm coming in as boatswain.

- This is me stepping up
- and hopefully

- Doing at least as good
- as Eddie.

- I believe everybody

gets a second opportunity.

And I really don't want

to see you screw the pooch.

- I don't plan on it.

- I'm hoping that
- you've grown up

In the last couple of years.

- Yes, sir.

- First time didn't go
- too hot.

- We have nothing

to talk about.

You need to go

to your quarters.

- Happy birthday to Kelley!

- [retching]

- Why are we not on deck?

- [banging]
- Wake up!

- I'm still drunk.

I want to show Captain Lee

- that this is my career;
- this is what

- I want to do
- with the rest of my life.

- We got a pretty good
- crew for you.

- You've got a senior deckhand;
- he's been in

- A boatswain's position before.
- Okay.

- And then you've got
- a girl and another guy.

Both of them are experienced,

- so you shouldn't have
- any issues.

- Perfect.
- They're your responsibility.

If your crew's screwing up,

- you're the one I'm gonna
- come looking for.

- Running three people
- can be very difficult.

- You got to get them all
- working as a team

- To accomplish a goal
- without fighting each other,

Or fighting me.

- Hi.
- Hey.

- Long time, no see.
- I know.

- So you decided
- to go one more round?

- Yeah, yeah.
- That's great.

Even though I haven't seen

Kelley in a long time,

I am friends

with his sister Amy,

and I have heard about how many

courses Kelley has taken

and how determined he is to

impress Captain Lee this time.

- Hopefully we can

do pretty well this season.

- Hello, lovely to meet you.

- Good to meet you. Kelley.

- Emily.
- Nice to meet you.

- Hi.
- Hello, lovely to meet you.

- I'm Kate.
- Emily.

- I've been single

for eight months now.

- So you're my stewardess,
- one of them.

- I'm your stewardess, yes.

- But the problem is,
- it's been five months of no sex.

- Here, let's
- get you comfortable.

- Trouble. It's just gonna

be trouble for me.

Oh, sh...

- Hey, how's it going, man?

- Kelley.
- Kelley. Nico.

- Hi, I'm Kate.

- Nico, nice to meet you.

- I grew up on the outskirts
- of Chicago.

I was one of five boys.

My father wasn't around,

so my mom raised us by herself.

- You're gonna be up

- in starboard forward.
- Okay.

- It was very difficult.
- I wasn't making

- The right decisions.
- I wasn't doing good in school.

But I moved down to Florida

to begin yachting at 18,

and I kind of turned my life

around for the best.

Definitely taking top bunk.

- Hi. Lauren.
- Nice to meet you.

- Kelley, nice to meet you.
- Hi, Kelley.

- Kate... actually,
- you're gonna be my roommate.

- Oh, really?
- Yeah.

- So where you from?
- Australia.

- What part?
- Melbourne.

- I'm from Melbourne...
- Oh, really?

- Florida.

- So you're Melbourne
- down under,

And I'm Melbourne up over.

- Yeah.
- We're like cousins.

- I got into yachting
- 'cause I was

A scuba diving instructor

in Central America.

My first gig was on Sir Richard

Branson's sailing yacht.

So that was a really good

first job

- to sort of understand
- all the aspects of yachting,

Which I thought was awesome.

- Yeah, go ahead
- and get changed over,

- And then meet Nico
- out on the deck.

- Okay, cool.

- How's it going?
- Kelley.

- Trevor, nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.

All right, Lauren, Trevor.

- Hi, Trevor,
- nice to meet you... Lauren.

- Senior deckhand.

This is Kate.

- Kate, Trevor,
- senior deckhand.

- I'm Emily.
- Trevor, I'm senior deckhand.

- I'm labeling your uniform.
- Thank you.

- On a boat this size,
- usually I'd be the boatswain.

You want to show me my bunk?

- Yeah, you're gonna
- grab your clothes.

- But I came on
- as senior deckhand

- 'cause you take what comes
- at you and you run with it.

- Which room am I?
- Port forward.

- I don't consider myself
- a boss,

- 'cause I've been
- in the lower person's shoes,

- And I've worked my way up,
- so I understand that.

- So if I had the choice of boss,
- it'd probably be me.

- Wow, this place is nice.

[knocking]

- Ben.
- Hello.

[laughter]

- - The funny thing about
- this boat, "Valor,"

Is, I actually worked on it

12 years ago

as a day worker.

- And I just thought,
- how wonderful would it be

To cook on a boat like this?

- You check out your galley?

- Yeah, it's lovely,

it's clean.

Having just come back

from the Mediterranean,

it's really nice to work

another season with Kate.

- Oh, there she is.

- Hi.

- What's up?
- Nothing, how are you?

- Good, how are you?
- Good.

- We've been great friends,

and we were a little more

than that at one point.

- Getting the tour?
- Yeah.

Both: Nice.

- But sometimes that does

complicate

our working relationship.

This is a proper boat.

- Yes.

- Whoa.
- I see weights.

- They're like 5 pounds.

- Not enough.

So do you have anybody special

in your life right now?

- Yeah, I am
- dating somebody.

- Who?

- I just met her.

- Ooh, a her, huh?

- Yeah, it's new.

- That's awesome.

- [chuckles]
- I was not expecting that.

- You know,
- it really doesn't matter,

As long as it makes you happy.

- So my girlfriend's name is Ro.

- She's, like,
- a professional athlete.

She wears combat boots.

- I think it shows
- how great she is,

To make me attracted to a girl,

'cause I never was.

Am I gay, am I not gay?

I don't know.

I am in sexual limbo,

and not like in a fun

"Kama Sutra page 96" way,

intermediate level

sexual limbo.

It's complicated.

It's crazy.

- That's cool.

- Yeah.

- So how's it going?
- How's it going, Nico?

- Trevor.
- Good to meet you, man.

- Senior deckhand.
- Thank you.

- So, guys, Trevor's gonna be
- the senior deckhand,

- So what he says goes, 'cause
- it's probably coming from me.

- Just because we are
- higher-ups,

- Feel free to bounce
- things off of us.

- I mean, we don't
- know everything.

- Higher-up, okay, that's fine.

I worked on a 223-foot

super-yacht with 17 crew.

So I think I know

what higher-up means.

- If he doesn't know exactly
- what he thinks about it,

- He'll bounce it off me,
- and we'll make a decision.

Smarter, not harder.

- "Hey, I'm Trevor,
- I'm the senior deckhand."

- My one rule is,

- don't f... around
- with the guests.

We're here to serve them.

- We're not here
- to party with them.

- We're not their friends.
- Yeah.

- If I catch you kissing a guest
- or something like that,

- I'm gonna have you gone
- as quick as possible.

- Trevor's been a boatswain.
- He's been a first mate

On a smaller yacht; Nico

and Lauren are experienced.

- And it looks like I'm gonna have
- a pretty strong deck crew.

- Let's just tone it down a bit.

- I don't know what
- you think of us.

- I mean, the guests
- are coming tomorrow.

I've got so much to do.

- Do you want us to be
- going around and doing...

- Gonna be doing, like,
- hot shots with the boat?

That's a great name.

- I love that surname.

- Sierra Storm,
- sounds like a super hero.

- That's amazing.

- Attention all crew,
- we got provisions now.

- So let's get everybody
- out there to load it up.

- How heavy is it?
- It's pretty heavy.

- Oh, it is heavy.

- You can definitely
- handle this one.

- Oh, yeah.

- I love your company

so much.

- And you see the soft-shell?

- Oh, good, I love
- soft-shell crab, do you?

- Oh, absolutely.

- Is that Ben's voice I hear?

- Hey.
- What's going on?

- How's it going?
- Very good.

How are you?

- Oh, looks like you got
- plenty of food in there.

- So you're in charge this year,
- are you?

- Yeah.

- Wow, Kelley is the boatswain.

Good luck, champ.

- Well, that's good.
- It's a little terrifying.

- It's probably more terrifying
- for them, I'd imagine.

[laughter]

- So do we have everyone?

Did your other stew come?

- Not yet.
- Not yet, oh, okay.

- I'll have to check
- with the captain.

- We could use her help,
- for sure.

- Do you know what time
- my third stew's arriving?

- No, no, I don't.

- This is not good.

- With less than 24 hours
- before charter guests arrive,

There is so much to do.

- But I will look into that.

- It's just a lot of work.

Sh...

- Nico, I saw you trying

to take the top bunk.

Sorry, I took the top bunk.

I know you're tall,

but I'm senior deckhand.

- Let's get smashing.

- Where you from
- originally, Trevor?

- Born in Atlanta,

- but Pensacola Beach, Florida,
- is home.

I've been around the world.

I've been a competitive surfer.

- Been a hair model
- for Paul Mitchell.

Did 100-ton captain's lessons

and engineering courses.

I've worked in yachting

for about 3 1/2 years.

- I was a boatswain
- of a 164-foot,

Had three deckhands under me.

I was also first mate

of a 130-foot.

- Just continue minding your line;
- never forget about that.

So, yeah, I mean,

I know my boat sh...

Whoo.

- Hello, nice to meet you.
- Hello, how are you?

- I'm Emily.
- Where are you from?

- The U.K.
- Yeah, so am I.

- You're British?

- Yeah, where you from?
- London.

I've been yachting

for the last 2 1/2 years.

I've cruised across

the whole of the Med,

the Caribbean.

- So you spent all your time
- in London, did you?

- I went to boarding school

in Sussex.

- Okay, which one?

- Eastbourne College.

- I went to Bradfield.

- I was very much into academia,

- and I was going to go
- to Cambridge

To study psychology

and politics,

- but I wanted a bit more
- out of life.

And I love adventure.

- I'm only 21;
- you only live once.

And it is the time of life

to experience things

- that you're not able
- to do later on

- When you want to settle down,
- maybe.

- Attention all crew.

I need everybody

in the main salon.

- Copy.

- Deck crew,
- here's your response.

[indistinct chatter]

- Okay.

The first thing

I want to go over is,

your stew never made the plane.

- Okay.

- So we're short.

- Sh...

- If you need me,
- I'll help.

- I know, thank you.

- Guests arrive tomorrow.

For those of you who

don't know how I run a boat,

it's pretty simple.

You do your job.

You don't embarrass yourself.

- And you don't
- embarrass the boat.

We're not having cocktails

while we're on charter.

Follow those three rules, and

we're gonna get along just fine.

- Obviously none of us want
- to screw up for Captain Lee.

- You know, he's got
- high standards,

- But we have our basics,
- which is, as long as

- The job's done,
- you can do what you want.

- Just, you know,
- don't be a dick-head.

- I always walk around with

some cash and plane tickets,

- but I'd like to set
- a record this year

For just keeping

one whole crew intact.

Barry and Larry is our

1st officer and chief engineer.

- I expect you
- to cooperate with them

- As much as you cooperate
- with me.

We'll all make lots of money,

and things go a lot smoother.

Carry on, we're good.

- So how are you going
- with the shirts down there?

- I'm ironing all of them?

- I like ironing
- all of them before.

- I don't want to have
- a mad dash.

- So we know what we have
- to get done

- Now that we have
- one less set of hands.

- I think Emily's gonna be
- a great second stew.

- Okay, great.
- Yay.

- She seems experienced, sweet,

confident... I love her.

She's adorable.

- Yeah, she's English,
- that's why.

- Nico, girlfriend back home?

- Kind of with someone,

- but we just recently
- started talking.

- Oh, so it's just fresh.
- Yeah.

- So you're talking to someone
- but not dating someone.

- Yeah, what about you guys?

- Oh, I'm single as can be.

- Single and ready to mingle?

- Yeah.
- What about you there, Lauren?

- I'd say probably single
- as a Pringle.

Let's put it that way.

- Ooh, that's good;
- Pringles are f... ing delicious,

- By the way.
- They're great.

- Eye-candy-wise,
- Nico and Kelley,

- You know, they're both cute
- and flirty.

- I mean, it's nice to work
- with someone

- That's good to look at,
- you know?

- Once you pop,
- you can't stop, eh?

- [laughs]

- - Ben, Kate, Kelley,
- I need you guys

- Down in the crew mess
- in five minutes

For prepping meeting.

- Copy.

- First one,

we have eight ladies.

Our primary, Allison,

- she owns
- her own clothing line.

- Apparently she's
- Instagram friends

- With all of the other girls
- that are involved,

But they've never, ever met.

- If you meet your friends

on Instagram,

you never say

you met on Instagram.

- Whoa, she's hot.
- Wow.

- It says they want
- a beach picnic, by the way.

- And they want a theme party

based on social media.

- Each meal,

they could like or dislike.

- I don't know about that.

- Carley Faircloth

loves escargot.

The primary hates escargot.

- Someone doesn't like seafood,

others do like seafood,

which makes it, you know,

a little difficult

if you're the chef.

- I don't think they could
- actually agree

On one single plate.

Hashtag "effing nightmare."

- I'm gonna follow her
- on Instagram

- So I can go
- on her next yacht trip.

- Okay.

- Become virtual friends
- with her?

- Like it all, yeah.

- Where you guys at back here?
- We're just drying now.

- Do y'all need brushes,

just need blades?

- You don't need hoses
- anymore or anything?

- No, that's the only one
- we need, right there...

- Just make sure, when you're
- done with any hose, drain it.

- So, Lauren, have you ever
- worked on a boat before?

- Well, I have, actually.

- Well, just in case
- you didn't know,

- I'm gonna tell you
- how to do everything.

- Please, do.

[laughs]

- So how are you feeling?

- I'm mentally preparing for it.

- Yeah, tomorrow, one of us
- will go down vacuuming,

- And then we have to fold
- toilet paper and stuff.

- Yeah, how would you
- like the fold done?

- Diamond with a fan.
- Okay, yeah.

- So are you dating anybody?

- No, I've just...

- On my previous boat,
- I was in a relationship,

But they're over now.

- Are you dating anyone
- at the moment?

- I actually am.

- Just only, like,
- a month and a half.

- So we're just in that
- really happy phase.

- How did you meet?

- A bar in my hometown.

- I had just come back
- to the town.

She had just come back

to the town.

- Oh, it's a she.

- Yeah.
- Oh, wow.

- Yeah, it's my first time

dating a girl, actually.

- At first, I was like, I really
- like hanging out with her,

- But I don't want to give her
- the wrong idea

'cause I'm not a lesbian.

- But then, one night,
- I kissed her.

- I don't know
- where it came from.

- She just seems like
- a really cool person.

- I don't know
- how to describe it.

- It's like, I was never
- in the closet.

- I just kind of went
- in the closet for a second,

Picked out a new outfit,

and came right back out.

- But you've never felt
- attracted to girls until now?

- No, no, never.

- All crew, dinner is ready.

- Oh, this looks awesome.

- It smells awesome.

- Mmm!

- How was your day?
- Pretty busy?

- A lot of exterior
- on this boat.

- Yeah, especially
- for this size.

- My old boat was
- a lot bigger than this,

And we only had five outside.

- How big
- was your last boat?

- Uh, 67 meters.

- That's big.
- That's big.

- Nico, I saw you trying
- to take the top bunk.

Sorry, I took the top bunk.

- I went in there,
- I was like, "No way."

- I know you're tall,
- but I'm the senior deckhand.

- [laughs]

- Are you serious right now?

Bad start.

All right, my coffin,

here I go.

- Good night.
- Good night.

- What's up, big guy?

- Oh. F...

- That is f... ed up.

- So how are you feeling

about our two-stew adventure?

- We're just not gonna stop.

- - The fact that Emily
- is not freaking out

About not having a third stew

proves to me that she knows,

in yachting,

things happen

you can't control,

- and all you can do
- is move forward.

- I'm just gonna need you
- to be my right hand.

Like, I trust your judgment.

- I can tell you know
- what you're doing.

- What's your Instagram name?

- The World Wanderer.

Sounds majestic, doesn't it?

Hashtag "awesome."

- Attention all crew,

- charter guests
- will be arriving in one hour.

- Where's the spinach?

What's this?

- I can't deal with these
- provisions arriving the day of.

- I don't have
- any of my sh... yet.

- What are you missing?

- Four pounds of spinach.

Favorite: spinach smoothie.

- That's her favorite.

But it's not her only.

- Doesn't matter, babe.

- I ordered four pounds
- of f... ing spinach...

- Okay, Popeye,
- get your spinach.

- They charged us for it,
- and it didn't show up.

- - Kate, Kate,
- we got provisions on the dock.

- Do we have any spinach
- in here?

- Perfect.

It's all here, it's all here.

- All right, good.

- Yay, spinach.

- Sorry if I'm freaking out,

but it's f... ing hot in here,

- and the guests are arriving
- in an hour,

And my f... ing galley

is filled with sh...

- Ben can be

very temperamental,

in case you haven't noticed.

- - Attention all crew, I need
- everybody on the aft deck

In five minutes.

Five minutes.

- Hey, Kate.
- Yeah?

- No ties, right?
- No.

- You guys can lead the way.

It's all good.

I'm so excited!

- Hashtag "excited."

- And here they are.

- Hi!

- Who is this?

Is this our stew?

- She'll be working double time
- to make up for it.

- Hello, there.
- Hi!

- Welcome aboard.
- Captain Lee.

- Nice to meet you.
- I'm Allison.

- Pleasure, Allison.
- Hi, welcome.

No amount of planning

or grocery shopping

- will ever get rid
- of the anxiety

- Of when the guests
- are walking on the boat.

- Hi.

- They go from being
- complete strangers

- To the center of your universe
- in about three seconds.

- Kelley.
- Kelsey, nice to meet you.

- Oh, Kelsey.

Ooh, sh...

I'm in trouble.

- Ladies,
- welcome aboard "Valor."

- Thank you.
- Thanks for having us.

- Kate is gonna show you
- around the boat.

- Ladies, if you're ready
- to go inside.

- Sure. Sure.
- Thank you, Kate.

- My pleasure.
- Oh, it's so nice.

Ooh.

- This is so pretty.
- Beautiful.

- So this is our main salon.

- I'm gonna be hanging
- in here all day.

- Oh, my God,
- look at the wine rack.

- I think it's everything
- I listed.

- So, Allison,
- this is your room.

- Oh, my God.
- It's not big enough.

- It's not big enough.
- [woman screams]

- I'll sleep in here!
- It's amazing.

- Gorgeous.
- Oh, my God.

- Your bathroom?

Look at the bathtub!

- Holy sh...

- I mean, your toilet
- sings to you.

- Oh, my God,
- I have this in my house.

- Oh, you know how
- to use it, then.

- Kate, you're my hero.

- Oh, awesome.

- [grunting]

- There's bodies
- in all these bags.

[laughter]

- It's gorgeous.
- It's so clean and bright.

- Oh, my gosh.
- Oh, this is so nice.

- This is so nice.

- Hey, Trevor.

- I'm sweating
- like a whore in church.

You should see me

when I played college soccer.

I was, like, drenched.

- Gross.

- The very top is the fun level.

- - Someone's gonna go tits-up on
- these stairs, I just know it.

- So there's a great
- Jacuzzi tub.

- Oh, my God.

- And then we have what we call
- the bunny pad,

- Where you all can lay out,
- get sun.

- Oh, sh...
- It's amazing.

- Should we... swimsuit?
- Yes.

- So hungry.

- That was just a welcome drink.

We also have rosé, champagne.

What do you really want?

- Chardonnay.

- No chardonnay.

- I'm down with the rosé.

- Tequila soda.
- Club soda.

- Three rosés, a club soda,

and a tequila soda.

- That one goes left.

- To the left.

- This one... no, no, left.

- Okay, deck crew,

- go ahead and change over
- to white shorts and polos.

- Nice, I'm drenched.

- Let's go put
- our bathing suits on.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Ow.

- This is, like, not a boat.

[laughs]

- - Kelley, I need you
- to get the deck crew

- In position, please.
- - Roger that.

- I'm really self-conscious
- of that, wearing blue underwear.

Can you see them?

- No.

- [chuckles]

- All right, let's go.

- Nico, let us know...

[indistinct]

- Okay, stern line's clear,

stern line's clear.

- Hi.
- This is the tequila.

- Thank you.

- Oh, thank you.

[indistinct radio chatter]

- Sweet, you're good.
- Talking to me?

- To all of us.

- First time off the dock
- in Tortola,

- Lauren and Nico
- are where they need to be.

Trevor did a good job.

That offsets his annoying

behavior just a little bit.

Perfect.

- Will you go down
- to the twin room