Below Deck (2013–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Cool Your Jets - full transcript

The Honor crew welcomes their first group of charter guests; a gaggle of flamboyant fashion photographers. Kat makes a shocking discovery that forces her into an agonizing decision and ...

- THE MEGA YACHT IS
THE ULTIMATE FLOATING PLAYGROUND

FOR THE RICH AND FAMOUS.
[women cheering]

CHARTERING A YACHT
OF THIS SIZE

FOR JUST A WEEKEND
COSTS MORE THAN YOUR HOUSE.

- IT'S ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS.

ALMOST LIKE
OUT OF A FAIRY TALE.

- IT'S A NEW CHARTER SEASON
WITH A BRAND-NEW CREW.

- YOU MUST BE BEN, THE CHEF?
- YEAH, HEY, HOW ARE YOU?

- ALEKS. NICE TO MEET YOU.
- NICE TO MEET YOU.

- YOU THROW A BUNCH OF PEOPLE
THAT DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER

IN TOGETHER,
AND YOU JUST SAY, "GO."



- COMING THROUGH,
COMING THROUGH.

WHERE'S MY BUTTER?

[glass breaking]
[bleep].

- WE PARTY HARD, WE PLAY HARD,
WE WORK HARD.

- GO TO WORK!
- OUR JOB IS GREAT.

BASICALLY WE HANG OUT
ALL DAY IN PARADISE,

PLAY WITH EXPENSIVE TOYS, AND
SOMEBODY ELSE PICKS UP THE TAB.

- I'M NOT SITTING IN AN OFFICE
FROM 9:00 TO 5:00 IN A CUBICLE.

YEAH, MY HOURS
ARE SOMETIMES CRAZY,

BUT I'M IN PARADISE.

- TO SAILING THE SEVEN SEAS!
- [laughs]

WHEN THIS OPPORTUNITY CAME UP
TO LEAVE MY OFFICE JOB

AND GO AND WORK ON A YACHT,
I HAD TO TAKE IT.

- WE LIVE TOGETHER
AND WORK TOGETHER,



AND WHEN YOU'RE
IN SUCH CLOSE QUARTERS,

IT GETS STRESSFUL,
AND IT GETS FRUSTRATING.

- IF YOU WANT TO GO TO WAR
WITH ME ABOUT THIS THING,

WE CAN DO THAT RIGHT HERE
AND RIGHT NOW,

OR YOU CAN JUST DO YOUR JOB.
- I GET [bleep] DONE.

THAT'S WHAT IT SHOULD SAY
ON MY BUSINESS CARD.

"GETS [bleep] DONE."
JUST BRING ME A PLATE.

THERE'S STILL SPOTS
ON THE MIRROR.

AND THE FLOORS
HAVEN'T BEEN VACUUMED.

- PICK UP A RAG YOURSELF,
ADRIENNE.

- [screams]
- THERE IS DEFINITE PRESSURE.

IF MY YACHTING CAREER

OVER THE LAST NINE YEARS
WAS ANYTHING LIKE THIS,

I WOULDN'T BE DOING IT ANYMORE.
I AM MY OWN BOSS.

- NOBODY'S LEAVING
THE BOAT TONIGHT.

- YOU CAN'T TELL ME
WHAT TO DO.

I'M ACTUALLY A HIGHER RANK
THAN YOU, SO--

- I AM NOT A "YACHTIE,"
FIRST OFF.

I TAKE IT VERY, VERY SERIOUSLY
BECAUSE THIS IS MY LIVELIHOOD,

THIS IS MY CAREER.

- WE GOT A [bleep]DAMN JOB
TO DO.

LET'S [bleep] GET IT DONE!

I DON'T GIVE A [bleep]
IF I HAVE $200 EXTRA!

I'VE GOT THE LEAST AMOUNT
OF EXPERIENCE

AND PROBABLY THE LOWEST AMOUNT
OF CREDENTIALS.

BUT GIVE ME A CHALLENGE
AND I'LL MEET IT.

- DON'T DRINK TOO MUCH!

THIS IS FRICKIN'
WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT.

HAVING A GOOD TIME,
A REAL GOOD TIME.

AH!
[grunts]

- LIVING ON A YACHT
IS ALWAYS GONNA BE DIFFICULT.

- I'M TIRED OF WORKING MYSELF
LITERALLY TO THE BONE.

- HOPEFULLY,
WE DON'T SCREW IT UP.

HOLY [bleep].

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- THAT DOG IS SO CUTE.

- THAT'S MY BOY, ED.

HE HAS A REALLY
MICROSCOPIC PENIS, THOUGH.

- [laughs]

- HIS PENIS IS LIKE THAT.

- OH, ONLY A HALF AN INCH.

DO YOU THINK IT AFFECTS
HIS PERSONALITY?

LIKE, MAKES HIM MORE SENSITIVE?
[laughter]

- HE'S THE MOST MELLOW,
SENSITIVE...

- YEAH.
- KIND, LOVING SOUL.

- THAT'S 'CAUSE
HE HAS A LITTLE PENIS.

YOU TAKE A POSITION
ON A BOAT,

AND YOU'RE OUT TO SEA
WITH THESE PEOPLE,

AND THEY'RE [bleep]
BAT[bleep] CRAZY,

SO WHEN YOU MEET
SOME OF YOUR CREW

AND YOU INSTANTLY CONNECT
WITH SOMEONE,

IT'S SUCH A RELIEF.

THAT'S HOW YOU CAN DISTINGUISH
THE NICE GUYS

FROM THE MEAN ONES.

- WHAT, YOU WANT TO DATE
NICE GUYS WITH LITTLE PENISES,

IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?
- [laughs]

- I HAVE A B.S.
IN INDUSTRIAL ENGINEERING,

AND THEN I GET
TO THIS STUPID 9:00 TO 5:00 JOB,

AND THEY'RE PAYING ME
$32,000 A YEAR

TO, LIKE, WASTE AWAY
IN AN OFFICE CHAIR.

AND THEY FEED YOU, LIKE,
CAKE AND COOKIES.

AND IT MAKES YOU FAT,
AND YOU DON'T GET TO EXERCISE.

AND I REALLY FELT LIKE
IT WAS JUST KILLING ME.

THERE'S GOT TO BE A HAPPY MEDIUM
IN THERE SOMEWHERE.

- THERE IS, ACTUALLY.
I'VE MET ONE.

- A BIG-PENISED NICE GUY?
- YEP.

- THOSE EXIST?
- MM-HMM.

- DID HE KNOW
HOW TO USE IT?

- [laughs]
- OH, WELL,

THAT'S THE ISSUE THEN.
- [laughs]

- HELLO.
- HI. EDDIE. NICE TO MEET YOU.

- HI, EDDIE, NICE TO MEET YOU.
ADRIENNE.

GOOD TO MEET YOU.
- DAVE.

- DAVID,
NICE TO MEET YOU.

- CJ. NICE TO MEET YOU.
- CJ, NICE TO MEET YOU.

COME ON BOARD.
- ALL RIGHTY.

I'M FROM
COASTAL SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA.

I LIKE TO MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY,
AND I LIKE TO FIX STUFF.

I REALIZED
A COUPLE YEARS AGO

THAT I DIDN'T LIKE SITTING
IN FRONT OF A COMPUTER,

I DIDN'T LIKE WORKING
18 HOURS A DAY

RUNNING A BUSINESS.

I GREW UP SURFING
AND SKIMBOARDING

AND BOOGIEBOARDING,
AND, LIKE,

THAT'S JUST WHAT I LIKE DOING,
SO THIS IS PERFECT.

IF I CAN TAKE THAT
AND HAVE SOMEONE ELSE

PAY FOR IT?
PERFECT.

- YOU WANT TOP BUNK OR BOTTOM?
[laughs]

- WHATEVER YOU WANT.
- I'LL DO THE BOTTOM.

- THERE'S 12 BEDROOMS
ON THIS DAMN BOAT...

AND I LIVE IN A CLOSET.

I'M A GAY MAN.

I DON'T KNOW
WHERE TO PUT

ALL MY LOTIONS
AND POTIONS.

EDDIE AND I ARE BECOMING CLOSE
VERY QUICKLY.

I'M GONNA BE UP ON TOP.

- FIRST TIME GENERAL ALARM
GOES OFF,

I'M GONNA SMACK MY HEAD.
- IT WAS PRETTY EASY.

- HAVE YOU BUNKED
WITH A GUY BEFORE EVER?

- NOT IN, LIKE,
THIS CLOSE OF QUARTERS.

- IT'S NICE
ABOUT THESE BIGGER BOATS

'CAUSE USUALLY YOU HAVE,
YOU KNOW,

TWO PEOPLE
AND YOUR OWN BATHROOM

VERSUS, LIKE,
SOME OF THE SMALLER 115, 120s,

YOU'VE GOT ONE SHOWER,
ONE TOILET,

AND EVERYONE'S FIGHTING OVER,
YOU KNOW, GETTING IN THERE.

I THINK
THAT I'M A GOOD GUY ROOMMATE

'CAUSE I'M NOT MESSY,
I'M PRETTY METROSEXUAL,

I TEND TO BE CLEAN.

- HOW DO YOU FEEL
ABOUT THE BOTTOM BUNK?

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT
WITH THAT?

- YEAH, NO.
EITHER ONE WORKS FOR ME.

- I DON'T KNOW HOW I GOT STUCK
IN THE ONLY CO-ED BUNK,

BUT I'M NOT COMPLAINING.
HE'S VERY GOOD-LOOKING.

- DO YOU WANT THE TOP ONE,
OR DOES THAT HAPPEN TO BE

WHERE YOU'RE HANGING OUT
RIGHT NOW?

- UM, NO, I KINDA LIKE IT

'CAUSE I GET, LIKE,
SOME EXTRA ROOM...

- OH, NICE.
- AND SOME EXTRA STORAGE.

- HOW CAN I TURN A BLIND EYE
TO A SMOKING HOT CHICK

GETTING HALF-NAKED IN MY CABIN
EVERY NIGHT?

I LIKE HAVING
CASUAL RELATIONSHIPS WITH WOMEN.

I'M ALSO ATTENTION-NEEDY
AND HORNY,

SO IT'S GONNA [bleep]--
SOMETHING'S GONNA HAPPEN.

- OKAY,
SO WHAT I WENT AHEAD AND DID

WAS PUT TOGETHER BINDERS,

AND IF I CAN GO AHEAD
AND GIVE YOU THESE.

I GOT YOU RULERS
AS WELL.

THIS IS JUST
FOR THE FIRST HANDFUL OF TIMES

THAT WE SET TABLES TOGETHER

'CAUSE I JUST WENT THROUGH

A SILVER SERVICE COURSE
TO BRUSH UP.

THIS IS MY CAREER.
THIS IS MY LIFE.

KNOWING THAT THE GUESTS
ARE HAPPY, SATISFIED,

COMFORTABLE
HELPS ME SLEEP AT NIGHT.

AS REFERENCES,
I'LL HAVE THIS MANUAL

TO GO THROUGH

IF YOU NEED IT,
IF YOU NEED TO LOOK

AT PICTURES OF TABLE SETTINGS
OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.

I HAVE BEEN A STEW
FOR ABOUT EIGHT YEARS.

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME
THAT I AM A CHIEF STEW,

AND I'M TERRIFIED.

BUT NOBODY
WILL EVER KNOW THAT.

- I'VE BEEN IN--WORKING
ON MOTOR YACHTS FOR TWO YEARS.

FROM, LIKE,
CANADA TO THE BAHAMAS, MEXICO,

PANAMA--I'VE GONE
THROUGH THE PANAMA CANAL--

AND I'VE SPENT A LOT OF TIME
IN THE CARIBBEAN.

I WAS DEFINITELY BORED
LIVING IN RHODE ISLAND.

IT JUST WAS THE SAME OLD THING,
DAY AFTER DAY.

SAME OLD BARS, SAME OLD PEOPLE,
SAME FACES.

YOU KNOW, I'M YOUNG,
AND I'M SINGLE,

SO I CAN JUST GET
ON A BOAT AND GO.

SO I'VE WORKED ON,
LIKE, 75-FOOT BOATS,

AND MY LARGEST
WAS 150.

- WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN--
- UM, NOT QUITE AS EXTENSIVE.

MY FAMILY HAS
A CATAMARAN,

SO WE DO,
LIKE, DAY CHARTERS.

- HAVE YOU DONE ANYTHING
WITH GUESTS ON A CHARTER?

- NOT THIS FORMAL.
THEY'VE BEEN, UM, FRIENDS...

- ON A CATAMARAN?
- OR FRIENDS OF FRIENDS, YEAH.

- HER PARENTS OWN A YACHT,
AND THERE'S KIND OF A STIGMA

THAT GOES WITH THAT
IN THE YACHTING INDUSTRY.

THERE'S A LOT OF, UM...

LITTLE THINGS
THAT YOU JUST DON'T...

KNOW THAT YOU
DON'T KNOW YET.

- ADRIENNE JUST HAS
THIS REALLY STERN GLARE,

LIKE SHE'S GETTING
INTO YOUR SOUL

WHEN SHE LOOKS AT YOU
AND, LIKE, EYE-RAPES YOU.

- SO IT'S JUST
ABOUT FIGURING IT OUT

AND ME HAVING PATIENCE...
- YEAH.

- WHICH I'M NOT ALWAYS
VERY GOOD AT.

- [laughs nervously]

- HEY, LEE?
- YEAH?

- I HAVE ALEKS HERE
FOR YOU.

- ALEKS.
- LEE.

- LEE ROSBACH.
- CAPTAIN. NICE TO MEET YOU.

- MY PLEASURE.
HOW YOU DOING?

- GOOD, HOW YOU DOING?
- I'LL LEAVE YOU GUYS TO IT.

I'M GONNA GO AHEAD
AND GO DOWNSTAIRS.

- OKAY.
- IT WAS GOOD MEETING YOU.

- YELL IF YOU NEED ME.
- ALL RIGHT, THANKS.

SO WELCOME ABOARD.
- THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.

- I JUST WANT TO GO OVER
SOME THINGS WITH YOUR RESUME.

I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN
A CAPTAIN BEFORE,

AND I'M GONNA ASK YOU
TO SET THAT ASIDE

BECAUSE,
AS YOU'RE AWARE,

THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE CAPTAIN
ON A BOAT.

ON THIS ONE, I'M IT.

- UNDERSTOOD.

- THE DECK CREW
IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.

THE EXTERIOR OF THE BOAT
IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.

I EXPECT YOU TO BE
A WORKING FIRST OFFICER.

- I WAS 19 WHEN I GOT
MY FIRST CAPTAIN'S LICENSE.

I GET [bleep] FOR MY AGE
ALL THE TIME.

YOU GET AN OLD CAPTAIN,
YOU KNOW, 75 YEARS OLD,

"WHO THE [bleep] ARE YOU?"
YOU KNOW?

MY GENERAL GOAL
IS TO TAKE COMMAND

OF A BOAT THIS SIZE,
IF NOT GREATER,

BUT I UNDERSTAND,
I'M SO YOUNG,

I HAVE TO WORK MY WAY
UP THE LADDER,

AND I'M WILLING
TO DO SO.

I'VE BEEN ON IT 24/7.

I'VE BEEN A WORKAHOLIC
ALL MY LIFE.

I'M VERY MOTIVATED,
AND I WANT TO SUCCEED.

I WANT TO RETIRE YOUNG.

- AS YOU KNOW, WE'VE GOT
SHORT TURNAROUNDS ON THIS THING.

OUR SERVICE HAS TO BE
ABOVE EXPECTATIONS,

AND EVERYBODY BUSTS
THEIR ASS.

- AYE, AYE.
[laughter]

- AYE, AYE.

- ADRIENNE, ADRIENNE,
LEE.

- GO FOR ADRIENNE.

- YEAH, YOU WANNA GO AHEAD
AND GET EVERYBODY TOGETHER,

ASSEMBLED ON THE AFT DECK.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE A,

UH, A LITTLE MEETING.

- COPY.

- ALL RISE.

- SIT DOWN.

MY NAME'S LEE ROSBACH.
I'M YOUR CAPTAIN.

THAT'S FRED. THIS IS NASH,
YOUR CHIEF ENGINEER.

ALEKS IS TAKING OVER
FOR FRED.

THERE'S GONNA BE
A TRANSITION PERIOD.

WE'VE GOT A SPECIFIC CHAIN
OF COMMAND THAT WE FOLLOW.

I'M THE CAPTAIN.

FRED, ALEKS,
AND THE DEPARTMENT HEADS,

YOU'RE IN CHARGE
OF YOUR OWN PEOPLE.

AND ONE THING
I WON'T TOLERATE

IS YOU GUYS GOING
OVER YOUR DEPARTMENT'S HEAD.

YOU GOT A CHAIN OF COMMAND,
FOLLOW IT.

- LEE HAS BEEN ON A BOAT
LONGER THAN ALL OF US.

BEFORE A LOT OF US EVEN--
BEEN EVEN BORN.

HE KNOWS WHAT HE'S DOING.
HE HAS A SET WAY,

HE'S THE CAPTAIN,
THIS IS HIS BOAT,

WE GOTTA FOLLOW IT.

- I'VE GOT SOME RULES
ABOUT CHARTER GUESTS.

YOU DON'T SOCIALIZE
WITH THEM.

THEY'RE NOT
YOUR FRIENDS.

YOU NEED TO REMEMBER
YOUR STATION ON THE BOAT.

YOUR STATION IS TO SERVE,
OVER AND ABOVE.

IF SOMEBODY ASKS YOU
TO GO PICK UP THEIR GLASSES,

CLEAN 'EM OFF
BEFORE YOU HAND IT TO THEM.

LITTLE THINGS LIKE THAT.

IT'LL PROBABLY BE REFLECTED
DIRECTLY IN YOUR TIP,

IN YOUR GRATUITY,
'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT WE WORK FOR.

- CHARTERS CAN RUN FROM $100,000
TO $200,000 TO $300,000 A WEEK.

YOU KNOW,
WE GET TIPS.

AVERAGE, YOU KNOW, TIP
ON A YACHTING CHARTER

IS ABOUT 10% TO 15%.

- IF YOU DO A GOOD JOB
AND WORK YOUR ASS OFF,

YOU'VE MADE MORE THAN HALF
YOUR MONTH'S SALARY IN A WEEK.

- HOW MANY OF YOU GUYS DRINK?
[chuckling]

ALL RIGHT.

WHEN WE'RE ON CHARTER,
YOU DON'T DRINK.

IT'S THAT SIMPLE.

IF YOU'RE OFF CHARTER,
YOU WANT TO PARTY,

I DON'T CARE,

BUT IF IT'S A DAY
YOU'VE GOTTA WORK,

YOU'D BETTER BE BRIGHT-EYED
AND BUSHY-TAILED.

I WILL ROUST YOU
OUT OF YOUR BUNK.

- HE'S KIND OF LIKE
THE WIZARD OF OZ,

AND, YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T WANT
TO PISS THAT GUY OFF.

- OUR FIRST CHARTER
IS TOMORROW.

WE'RE NOWHERE NEAR READY
FOR THEM.

THE LAUNDRY'S GOTTA BE DONE
AND IRONED,

MORE PROVISIONS
BROUGHT ON BOARD,

MORE FUEL.
EVERYTHING'S GOTTA BE PERFECT.

SO SOME OF YOU GUYS
ARE REALLY NEW, I UNDERSTAND,

AND THE LEARNING CURVE
IS GONNA BE INTENSE.

- WE'RE DEFINITELY
IN FOR A WILD RIDE.

- I THINK WE'LL CALL
THE MEETING TO A CLOSE.

YOU GUYS START
GETTING AFTER IT, OKAY?

- ALL RIGHT.
- THAT'S A WRAP!

- ALL RIGHT.
- THANK YOU.

- ALL RIGHT.
- LET'S GO TO WORK.

- SO YOU DO KNOW HOW TO--

- YES, YES.
I KNOW HOW TO POUR CHAMPAGNE.

- AND YOU TWIST THE BOTTLE
SO THAT IT DOESN'T DRIP.

- YES, ADRIENNE.

JUST [bleep] CHILL.

- ALL RIGHT, GUYS,
THE PROVISIONS ARE HERE.

LET'S GET THEM LOADED
IN THE GALLEY FOR BEN.

LET'S GET AN ASSEMBLY LINE
GOING.

- WHOA. [laughs]
- NICE MEAT YOU GOT THERE.

- WE'RE GONNA HAVE ALL
OF THE RED MEAT HERE...

- OKAY.
- AND THEN WE'RE JUST GONNA

ACTUALLY SWING ROUND
TO WHITE MEAT.

I'VE BEEN A YACHT CHEF
FOR NINE YEARS NOW.

CHICKEN WILL BE HERE,
BUT IT'S NO BIG DEAL,

BUT IT'D JUST BE NICE
IF THERE WAS

A SLIGHT WAVE OF COLOR.

I AM ESSENTIALLY
MY OWN BOSS,

SO I CAN BE
AS RIDICULOUS AS I WANT.

WE'VE ACTUALLY GOT
SOME OBSCURE ITEMS

LIKE ALLIGATOR AND OXTAIL.

WE HAVE
AN UNLIMITED BUDGET.

THAT'S FOIE GRAS, YEAH.
- ABSOLUTELY.

- DO YOU LIKE IT?
- I LOVE IT.

- I COULDN'T AFFORD IT.

- EVERY MEAL I MAKE
IS PROBABLY SO UNIQUE

THAT I'VE NEVER EVEN DONE IT
BEFORE IN MY LIFE.

THAT CLIENT WILL NEVER,
EVER GET THAT DISH EVER AGAIN,

UNLESS FROM ME,
AND THE CHANCES ARE

I WON'T EVEN
REMEMBER IT,

SO I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT.
[laughs]

GOD, EVERYONE'S GONNA EAT
PRETTY WELL THIS TRIP.

- [laughs]
- BUT I'M A CONFIDENT CHEF.

THAT DIDN'T SOUND ARROGANT,
DID IT?

- SO WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF THE REST OF THE CREW SO FAR?

- ACTUALLY, I WASN'T
REALLY SURPRISED.

I MEAN,
IT'S STILL EARLY, BUT--

- HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN
IN THIS INDUSTRY, DID YOU SAY?

- I MEAN, I'VE BEEN SAILING
MY WHOLE LIFE.

MY FAMILY FIRST CAME OVER
ON THE MAYFLOWER.

MY FAMILY IS
A BIT OF A BLUE-BLOOD FAMILY.

I DEFINITELY GREW UP
IN A VERY PRIVILEGED LIFE.

AND MY FAMILY STARTED

ONE OF THE FIRST
WHALING INDUSTRIES IN NANTUCKET.

SO IT'S BEEN IN MY FAMILY
FOR A VERY, VERY LONG TIME,

AND I JUST--I'M--
I WANTED THAT LIFE.

- I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING
LIKE THIS

SINCE I WAS, LIKE, A PRIVATE.
- YEAH.

WHAT WAS YOUR FINAL RANK
IN THE MARINES?

- I GOT OUT AS A CORPORAL.
- YEAH.

- I WAS ON MY WAY
TO SERGEANT, BUT...

I DON'T KNOW, I WAS JUST...
- DECIDED TO GET OUT?

- READY TO GET OUT.

ONCE I TURNED 17, AND I
WAS GRADUATING HIGH SCHOOL,

I WANTED
TO SEE THE WORLD,

SO I JOINED THE MARINES.

I FELT LIKE
THE MARINE CORPS

WOULD BE THE HARDEST
AND MOST DIFFICULT

AND DIRECT ROUTE
OUT OF SMALL-TOWN AMERICA.

- DID YOU EVER SEE
ANY ACTION?

- DID YOU SEE THE MOVIE
BLOOD DIAMOND OR LORD OF WAR?

- YEAH, YEAH.
- I WAS THERE.

SOME PEOPLE MIGHT SAY
I'M INDECISIVE.

SOME PEOPLE MIGHT SAY
THAT I CAN'T KEEP A JOB.

I THINK THAT I'M STILL LOOKING
FOR THAT THING THAT,

YOU KNOW,
KEEPS ME INTERESTED.

- UM, GUESTS ARE GONNA
BE HERE IN 50 MINUTES.

WE HAVE TO CHANGE
INTO OUR WHITES,

GET THE CHAMPAGNE
SET UP,

AND SET UP
THE SKY LOUNGE AFT TABLE.

- WAIT, I'M NOT FINISHED
WITH THIS SIDE.

QUIT WIGGLING.

- SAM, SAM.

- OH, HOLLY.
BETTER TO LOOK OUT.

- HOLLY AND I HAVE

AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP
WHEN I TRAVEL,

SO I NEED TO GIVE HER
THE FREEDOM TO DO

WHAT SHE NEEDS TO DO
WHILE I'M GONE,

AND AT THE SAME POINT,
I DON'T MIND HAVING THE FREEDOM

TO DO WHAT I WANT TO DO
WHILE I'M GONE.

- THERE'S A NEW BACK SHAVER
IN TOWN.

[laughter]

- SO DO YOU WANT TO HANDLE
THE CHAMPAGNE?

- THAT'S FINE.

- YOU WANT ME
TO SHOW YOU?

- I KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

- THIS FIRST TRIP
SETS THE TONE FOR EVERYTHING.

SO YOU DO KNOW HOW TO--

- YES, YES.
I KNOW HOW TO POUR CHAMPAGNE.

- AND YOU TWIST THE BOTTLE
SO THAT IT DOESN'T DRIP.

- YES, ADRIENNE.

- OKAY.
I'M JUST CHECKING.

THE GUESTS ARE LOOKING
FOR THAT SIX-STAR SERVICE LEVEL.

OUR JOB HAS TO BE
NEAR FLAWLESS.

ATTENTION,
ALL HONOR CREW,

GUESTS WILL BE ARRIVING
IN FIVE MINUTES.

- ADRIENNE DOESN'T REALIZE,

THE MORE SHE IS

ON MY HEELS
ABOUT DUMB STUFF,

THE MORE
I'M GONNA FIGHT BACK

AND TELL HER
TO JUST [bleep] CHILL.

- ALL RIGHT, GIRLS,
LET'S GET READY.

THE GUESTS ARE ON THEIR WAY.
- COPY.

COME ON, KAT.

- WELCOME ABOARD.
CAPTAIN LEE ROSBACH.

- NICE TO MEET YOU.

- ALEX, MY PLEASURE.
HOW ARE YOU?

- WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
- LEE.

- LEE, HOW ARE YOU?
JOHNNY EYELASH.

- CHAMPAGNE?
- YES, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

OOH, CHAMPAGNE.
OH, SO HOT!

- JOHNNY EYELASH SHOWS UP
TO A $20-MILLION YACHT

IN A SOILED,
SOILED BATHROBE.

LIKE,
I'M EMBARRASSED FOR YOU.

- I WANT TO SEE THE BOAT!
I WANT--WHAT'S GOING ON IN--

OH, THIS IS GREAT!
- IT'S FABULOUS.

- OH, GORGEOUS!

OH, PERFECT!
- [laughs]

- AH, PERFECT!

- OH, THIS IS "GORG."

I LOVE THIS.
I LOVE THIS.

- OUR GUESTS ARE JUST VERY
L.A. PHOTOGRAPHERS, YOU KNOW?

WHITE LINEN PANTS,
SCARVES, AND--

THIS IS DEFINITELY GONNA BE
A VERY COLORFUL CRUISE.

- COULD SOMEONE TAKE ME
TO THE BEDROOMS REALLY QUICK?

I WANT TO GET THE BEST BEDROOM.
- [laughs]

- BEFORE THEY
PAY ATTENTION.

- JOHNNY?
- YEAH?

- SO WE SHOULD DO--
- [laughs] THEY--WHAT--

THEY ALREADY TOOK MY STUFF
AND PUT IT IN HERE THOUGH.

- I LOVE DOING CHARTERS
WITH GAY MEN

BECAUSE THEY TIP REALLY WELL,
THEY COMPLIMENT,

AND THEY'RE USUALLY
REALLY EASY TO GET ALONG WITH.

- CAN YOU HOLD THIS?
- YES.

- YOU NEED THE BLENDER,
RIGHT?

- I WAS GONNA NOT DO IT
IN A BLENDER.

- JUST USE THAT.
- WELL, I DON'T WANT TO--

- IT DOESN'T MATTER.
JUST USE IT.

AND WHAT
ARE YOU GONNA CALL IT?

- IT CAN EASILY COST
100 GRAND A WEEK

TO CHARTER
ONE OF THESE YACHTS,

WHICH IS JUST KIND OF NAUSEATING
WHEN I THINK

THAT I DON'T MAKE THAT
IN, LIKE...A DECADE.

[laughs] NEARLY.

AND YET
I STILL SERVE THEM.

[cheers and laughter]

- OH, LOOK AT THAT!
- OH, EXACTLY!

- THIS IS WHAT I CALL
THE SAMMY SPECIAL.

- THE SAMMY SPECIAL?

- IT'S GUAVABERRY RUM
AND--

- THAT IS GOOD.

- GOOD.
- THAT IS REALLY GOOD.

I'M GONNA BE [bleep]-FACED.
[laughter]

- ALL RIGHT,
EVERYBODY READY?

- ROGER, READY.
[indistinct radio chatter]

- OKAY, GUYS, SHOW TIME.
LET'S GO.

- GOT IT.

- ALL CLEAR!

[horn blares]

- IN ABOUT 200 METERS,
I'LL HEAD OUT THE BRIDGE.

- LOOK AT THE BRIDGE.
LOOK AT THE BRIDGE GOING DOWN.

- HARD PART'S OVER, GUYS.
THANK YOU.

PULL THE FENDERS UP,
CLEAR THE DECKS.

- OH, LOOK AT THOSE DRINKS.
WHAT'D YOU GUYS GET?

- DON'T LOSE YOUR UMBRELLA.
- YEAH, I DON'T WANT UMBRELLA.

- WHOOPS.
- THANK YOU.

OKAY.
- I'LL HAVE THAT SAMMY SPECIAL.

- ABSOLUTELY.
- I LOVE THE SAMMY SPECIAL.

[laughs]
- [laughs]

- HOW'S THINGS GOING?
- OH, THEY'RE GOING GOOD.

- YEAH?
- I'M MAKING THEM A COCKTAIL

CALLED THE SAMMY SPECIAL.
THEY LOVE IT.

- WHAT IS IN IT?
- [laughs] LOTS OF RUM.

- [chuckles]
THE SAMMY SPECIAL.

CAN I HAVE A GLASS
OF THAT?

- IN THE SHOWER,
I WANT ONE GIRL OR A GUY.

SHE'S NAKED, BUT SOMEBODY'S
HOLDING HER TOWEL.

- OH, LIKE, SERVANT STYLE.
- SERVER. SERVICE.

- LIKE THIS, YEAH.

- WE'VE GOT
A GROUP OF PHOTOGRAPHERS

WHO ARE APPARENTLY
GOING TO ST. BARTS

TO PICK UP
ONE OF THEIR MODELS.

- SHE IS IN THE SHOWER
BECAUSE SHE WENT TO SWIM,

AND THEN SHE WENT
TO SHOWER.

- I'M JUST HOPING

FOR AN EXCEPTIONALLY
GORGEOUS MODEL

THAT I MIGHT BE ABLE
TO TAKE FOR DINNER LATER.

OR AT LEAST
COOK HER DINNER LATER.

- WE GOTTA CHECK OUT
THESE GUYS.

- YEAH, WE WILL.
- HUH? YEAH, YEAH.

- OKAY, LET'S MAKE
OUR DROP RIGHT HERE.

- ALL RIGHT,
SO DINNER'S

IN HALF AN HOUR.
- OKAY.

- HOW'S THAT SAMMY SPECIAL
COMING?

- I'VE GOT IT COMING
FOR YOU RIGHT AWAY.

- WHERE IS SHE?

- SHE JUST WENT OUT
WITH YOUR DRINK.

- GO--WHO? SAMMY?
- SAM?

HE'S RIGHT HERE.
- AH, WHERE?

- YOU ARE A MAN
ON THE RUN.

- WHAT'S IN THESE AGAIN?
IS THERE RUM IN THIS ONE?

- THERE'S RUM
IN BOTH OF THOSE, YES.

THE GUAVABERRY.

I'M GLAD I BROUGHT YOU TWO.
- YEAH, PERFECT.

- THE MAN CAN DRINK.

- AND BY THE WAY,
I'M NOT AN ALCOHOLIC.

- NO.
- I'M A DRUNK.

- I DON'T--
- ALCOHOLICS GO TO MEETINGS.

- HEY, I DON'T JUDGE ANYONE.
[laughter]

- LAST NIGHT, ONE OF THE GUESTS
HAD COCAINE IN THEIR ROOM.

[indistinct chatter]
- [laughs]

- SAM, HOW ARE
THE GUESTS LOOKING?

- THEY'RE READY FOR IT.

- ARE WE CONSIDERING SAM
FOR, LIKE, A SHOT?

- YES.
- YEAH.

- IT'S DECENT. [laughs]
- IT LOOKS GOOD.

- I COULD ALREADY--
I ALREADY COULD TELL.

- YEAH.
- I CAN ALREADY TELL.

WHAT ARE YOU, 5'7"?

- 5'12"? NO.
- YOU ARE 6--NO.

- THAT MAKES IT 6".
- I AM 6 FEET, YES.

- ARE YOU REALLY?
GET OVER HERE.

- YEAH, I'M TALL.
- OH, MY GOD, YOU ARE TALL.

OH, MY GOD, SHE'S A MODEL.
[laughter]

SHE'S A MODEL.

- THESE GUYS
ARE ALL KIND OF DRUNK.

THEY'RE LIKE,
"OH, YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL,"

BUT I'M NOT, LIKE,
A REALLY SHOWY PERSON.

LIKE, I DON'T WEAR
A LOT OF JEWELRY

AND WEAR A LOT OF MAKEUP
AND GET MY BOOBS DONE.

- CAN YOU LET YOUR HAIR DOWN
FOR A SECOND, PLEASE?

- IT'S GONNA BE...
- NO, JUST DO IT.

- NOT CUTE.

- JUST GIVE ME
A WHOLE CHARLIE'S ANGELS--

- WE WON'T EVEN
TOUCH YOU.

[techno music]
JUST GO LIKE THIS.

- OH!
- THROW IT DOWN.

[overlapping chatter]

- SHE'S GOT GREAT HAIR.
- GREAT HAIR!

- YOU GUYS ARE IN THOSE OUTFITS
TOMORROW AS WELL?

- ALL THREE OF US GIRLS
HAVE BLACK, LIKE,

ARMANI-ESQUE-INSPIRED
ASIAN TUNIC-LOOKING THINGS.

I'LL GO PUT ON THE TUNIC,
SO YOU CAN SEE THAT.

- OH, MY GOD.
WHAT WAS YOUR NAME AGAIN?

I FORGOT YOUR--
- ADRIENNE.

- ADRIENNE.
THAT SOUNDED REALLY GOOD.

- GOT IT.

- THAT PUTS A WHOLE PIECE
TO THE WHOLE THING.

- ALL RIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU GUYS
IN JUST A MINUTE.

- ALL RIGHT, THANKS.

- YOU KNOW,
IT'S A SPUR OF THE MOMENT THING.

HE DIDN'T REALLY ASK ME
TO DO IT.

I JUST WENT WITH IT.

- SAMMY, RIGHT?

- RIGHT.

- GOD, YOU THINK
THAT'S WHAT'S GOING ON?

- IT'S PERFECT,
BUT SHE'S TALLER. [laughs]

OH, LOOK.
- OH! SEE, THOSE ARE GREAT.

WITHOUT THE PANTS.
- YOU LIKE IT?

- WITHOUT THE PANTS.

- IT KIND OF REMINDED ME
OF SOMETHING, LIKE,

ONE OF THE WOMEN
IN JAMES BOND WOULD WEAR.

- VERY JAMES BOND.
- RIGHT, YEAH, I LOVE IT.

- DO YOU HAVE
A BLACK BIKINI?

BOTTOMS?
- I DO.

- DO YOU MIND
PUTTING IT ON?

- ALL RIGHT,
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

- SHE'S CLEARLY,

CLEARLY, SUPER INSECURE
THAT SHE NEEDS TO,

LIKE, TAKE AWAY THE ATTENTION
THAT I'M GETTING

IN ORDER TO MAKE HERSELF
FEEL BETTER ABOUT HERSELF.

- OH, MY GOD.
- YOU HAVE GREAT LEGS.

- WOW.
- FABULOUS.

- LIKE A BOND GIRL.
- LET'S SEE, LET'S SEE THE LOOK.

- CAN WE GET HER
TO STAND ON TOP OF THE JACUZZI?

[laughter]

- AND THEN
THE GLASSES DOWN.

WE CAN FINE-TUNE IT LATER,

BUT I'M THINKING, YOU KNOW,
THAT REALLY CAN WORK.

- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

LIKE, ARE YOU
[bleep] KIDDING ME?

- RIGHT?
- YEAH.

- WHAT IS IT
WITH THESE CHARTER GUESTS?

THEY CREEP OFF--
LIKE, JUST DISAPPEAR

HALFWAY THROUGH DINNER.

- WAIT, JOHNNY--

- I'M TELLING YOU--

[laughter]

- I DON'T KNOW, THEY'RE ALL
A LITTLE BIT LOOPY.

- [laughs]
IT IS A LITTLE DRY.

[laughter]

- YOU HAVE A--

[laughter]

- SO I'M CLEANING UP
THE BATHROOM,

AND THERE'S SOME WHITE POWDER
SITTING THERE.

OH, MY GOD,
I'M FREAKING OUT.

- WHERE'S ADRIENNE?
IS SHE AROUND?

HUH?

- I DON'T KNOW.
- ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

- OH, AM I ALL RIGHT?
I ACTUALLY DON'T KNOW.

IF AUTHORITY EVER FOUND OUT
ABOUT THE DRUGS ON THIS BOAT,

WE'D ALL LOSE
OUR LICENSES.

I WANT EVERYBODY HERE
TO ENJOY THEMSELVES.

I DON'T WANT
TO RAT ANYBODY OUT.

- OKAY, GOOD NIGHT. THANK YOU.
- GOOD NIGHT.

- ALL RIGHT, EDDIE,
I'M TURNING IN.

- ONCE EVERYONE'S ASLEEP,
I AM ABLE TO GET TO WORK

AND GET EVERYTHING DONE.

THAT'S A HUGE SENSE OF RELIEF.

SURE.

YOU WANNA DO ONE WITH ME?
- NO, I CAN'T.

- DUDE,
THE NIGHT IS OVER.

- MY NIGHT'S NOT OVER
UNTIL 10:00 A.M.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
- I'M UP ALL NIGHT.

- REALLY?
- YEAH.

- DRUGS?
- NO.

NO, I GOT SOME SLEEP
EARLIER TODAY.

I CAN'T.

I CAN'T.
IT'S PART OF MY DUTIES.

IT'S WATCH.
IT'S MY JOB.

YEAH,
JUST ME AND YOU IN HERE.

I'M NOT GONNA GET DRUNK
WITH SOME DUDE

SWISHING AROUND
IN HIS FILTHY BATHROBE

ON MY FIRST NIGHT
ON ANCHOR WATCH.

OR EVER, FOR THAT MATTER.
[laughs]

- SAMMY'S THE HOTTEST GIRL
ON THE BOAT.

- SAM IS A GOOD-LOOKING GIRL.
- YEAH, SHE'S HOT.

- SHE'S
A GOOD-LOOKING GIRL.

- [laughs] NO.
- NO, NOT YET?

- SHE'S A LITTLE TALL FOR ME.
- SHE'S TOO MUCH WOMAN FOR YOU.

- AW, NO, HEY. HEY, HEY.
- YEAH, RIGHT.

- HEY, TALLER,
I'D CLIMB LIKE A TREE.

- RIGHT, TOTALLY.
RIGHT.

THAT'S GOOD, I LIKE THAT, YEAH.
- YEAH, YEAH.

- AND WHO ELSE IS THERE?

- ACTUALLY, KAT AND I ARE THE
ONLY ONES FROM THE EAST COAST.

- KAT, I LIKE KAT.
- SHE'S FROM RHODE ISLAND.

- OH, THAT'S NOT REALLY
EAST COAST.

- YEAH, IT IS.
- IT JUST HAPPENS TO BE THERE.

- I'M FROM MARYLAND.
- INTERESTING.

SO YOU LIKE
CRACK WHORES?

- NO, NOT PARTICULARLY.

I DON'T LIKE BABY-SITTING
DRUNK PEOPLE.

BUT HERE HE IS,
AND I'M STUCK WITH HIM.

- IS THERE A BUTTON, IF I HIT IT
THAT A SIREN GOES OFF?

- DON'T PRESS ANY BUTTON.
DON'T PRESS THAT BUTTON!

- YOU SHOULD JUST WORK

THE REST OF THE DAY
JUST LIKE THAT, CJ.

- NO SHIRT ON?
- YEAH.

- I HAD A HARD TIME
GETTING TO SLEEP LAST NIGHT

WHEN I FOUND
THE DRUGS.

IF I DON'T SAY ANYTHING,

EVERYONE ON BOARD
IS IN JEOPARDY.

A LOT OF US PUT YEARS AND YEARS
INTO GETTING OUR LICENSES,

AND EVEN JUST A SMIDGEN
OF ANYTHING ILLEGAL

WILL TAKE THAT AWAY
FROM ALL OF US.

HEY, ADRIENNE, CAN I TALK
TO YOU FOR A SEC?

- YEAH, WHAT'S UP?

- LAST NIGHT, WHEN I WAS DOING
THE TURN-DOWNS...

[whispering]
AND ONE OF THE GUESTS

HAD COCAINE
IN THEIR ROOM.

AND I WASN'T SURE, LIKE,
IF I SHOULD SAY ANYTHING OR NOT.

- ABSOLUTELY. ALWAYS.

I NOW HAVE TO GO
TELL THE CAPTAIN.

LEE?
- YEAH?

- DO YOU HAVE A SECOND TO TALK?
- YEAH.

- LAST NIGHT,
WHEN KAT WAS DOING TURN-DOWNS,

SHE FOUND

WHITE POWDER RESIDUE
ON THE GUEST'S BATHROOM COUNTER

IN ONE OF THE STATEROOMS

AND A ROLLED UP DOLLAR BILL
AND A BAGGIE.

- UH, [bleep].

OKAY.

IT'S NO OPTION.
THE CHARTER'S OVER.

I'LL HAVE A MEETING WITH THEM
WHEN WE GET BACK TO ST. MARTIN.

IF ANYONE ASKS YOU,
JUST LET 'EM KNOW--JUST TELL 'EM

WE HAVE A PROBLEM AND WE
HAVE TO GO BACK TO ST. MARTIN.

- OKAY, THANK YOU.

- YOU'RE WELCOME.
THANK YOU.

- MM-HMM.
- FRED, FRED, LEE.

I NEED TO SEE YOU
IN THE WHEELHOUSE,

AND BRING ALEKS WITH YOU,
PLEASE, WHEN YOU COME.

- I JUST SPOKE
WITH THE CAPTAIN.

WE'RE GONNA
TURN THE BOAT AROUND.

- RIGHT NOW?
- RIGHT NOW.

- OKAY.

I'M NOT GONNA FEEL
COMFORTABLE SERVING THEM.

- JUST--JUST BE COOL.

- I FEEL GUILTY FOR RATTING.
LIKE, I'M A RAT.

MY GOD, I'M KIND OF--
GIVES ME A LITTLE ANXIETY.

- IT'S OKAY.
- I KNOW IT'S OKAY.

- YOU DID
THE RIGHT THING.

- I'VE DESTROYED THE CHARTER,
UPSET THE GUESTS.

GREAT JOB, KAT.

THERE GOES OUR TIP.

- IT'S UNFORTUNATE.
- YEAH, IT--REALLY, IT'S--

- BUT IT'S NOT OUR FAULT.

- CAPTAIN,
DO YOU MIND ME ASKING

WHY WE'RE GOING
BACK TO ST. MARTIN?

- YOU'LL FIND OUT
IN GOOD TIME.

- WHAT'S GOING ON?
- HAVING MY COFFEE.

IS ANYBODY ELSE UP?
- I SAW JOHNNY.

HE'S LIKE,
"I JUST NEED SOME WATER."

HE'S TRYING TO HYDRATE.

9:15.

HUH?

- IT'S, LIKE, A FOUR-HOUR--
SO WE LEFT ABOUT 7:30.

- WE'RE SUPPOSED TO GET THERE
BY 10:00, I THINK.

- DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME
WE'RE SUPPOSED TO LAND?

- WHAT WAS THAT?

- WHAT TIME ARE WE SUPPOSED
TO GET THERE, TO ST. BARTS?

- I'M NOT SURE.
- YOU'RE NOT SURE, OKAY.

- I GUESS SO.
IT'S GONNA BE ONE OF THOSE DAYS.

I MEAN, MAYBE SOMEBODY ELSE
MIGHT KNOW IN THERE.

- GHOST SHIP.

HEY, CAP--
GOOD MORNING, CAPTAIN LEE.

- JOHN, HOW YOU DOING?

- SO WHAT'S GOING ON
THIS MORNING?

- I'VE GOT AN ISSUE
THAT I NEED TO RESOLVE...

AND WE HAVE TO GO BACK
TO ST. MARTIN.

- OH, REALLY?
- YEAH.

I'LL COME AND TALK TO YOU GUYS
LATER AFTER WE TIE UP.

- OKAY,
SO THIS DEFINITELY--

OKAY, YOU SEEM
REALLY KNEE-DEEP IN IT.

- I AM.
- OKAY.

DUDE, WE'RE GOING BACK
TO ST. MARTIN.

THIS IS A PROBLEM.

- YEAH.

- HOW COME I DON'T,
LIKE, SEE ANYBODY?

- HUH?
- WHERE IS EVERYBODY?

- I DON'T--EVERYBODY'S
STILL SLEEPING, NO?

- NO, I DON'T--
I MEAN THE PEOPLE WHO WORK HERE.

- OH.
I HAVEN'T SEEN ANYBODY...

- IT'S A GHOST SHIP.
- EXCEPT THE GUYS.

- WHY ARE YOU CRYING?
- IT'S MY FAULT.

- OH, HERE'S THE THING.
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.

- YES, IT IS.
- YOU HAVE A JOB TO DO.

- YEAH, BUT, YOU KNOW WHAT?
- WE'RE ON A BOAT.

- THIS IS [bleep] STUPID.

- WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE OCEAN.

- THIS IS STUPID.

- OKAY, WELL, LAST NIGHT,

HOMEBOY WAS ACTING
LIKE AN IDIOT,

SO IF THEY'RE GETTING
ALL [bleep] UP AND BLOWING LINES

AND DRINKING BEERS
WITH THEIR COCKS HANGING OUT,

AND ONE OF THEM FALLS OVERBOARD,
WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT?

ALL OF US, SO YOU DID
EXACTLY THE RIGHT THING.

YOU DID EXACTLY THE RIGHT THING.
- YOU WERE--

- MWAH.

- ADRIENNE?

I WENT UP TO SEE CAPTAIN LEE,
WHO WAS SORT OF NON--

DIDN'T WANT TO SHARE
ANY INFORMATION

ABOUT WHAT'S HAPPENING.

'CAUSE WE'RE GOING BACK
TO ST. MARTIN.

- I'M NOT SURE
EXACTLY WHAT ALL IS GOING ON.

SO I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THEIR PLAN IS.

- SO IT'S THE LAND
OF NO INFORMATION

RIGHT NOW.
- CORRECT.

- I'M SURE THAT WHATEVER PROBLEM
THAT'S HAPPENING

IS, LIKE,
A BIGGER DEAL THAN--

WELL, THEY THINK
IT'S A BIGGER DEAL THAN WHAT--

THAN MY PROBLEM,
BUT I HAVE A SUN ISSUE.

- OKAY.
- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

SO 4:00,
I'M DONE SHOOTING.

- RIGHT.
- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? SO--

- I'LL LET THEM KNOW.

- OKAY.
IS THERE ANY SAUSAGE OUT HERE?

- SAUSAGE?
ABSOLUTELY, YEAH.

- SO WE'RE REALLY
GETTING CLOSE TO LAND HERE.

- YEAH.
- WHAT'S HAPPENING?

- OH, SOME ENGINE ISSUES,
I GUESS.

I DON'T REALLY KNOW.

- TODAY'S OUR WORK DAY, SO...
- OH.

- HOW DO WE GET THE MODEL
FROM ST. BARTS TO HERE

IF THIS BOAT
IS HAVING ENGINE PROBLEMS?

- [inhales sharply]
UM...

WE'RE ABOUT TO SHOOT
THROUGH THIS BRIDGE.

I MIGHT NEED TO RUN
BACK AND FORTH REAL QUICK,

SO IF I CAN GET YOU GUYS TO GET
A NICE COMFY SPOT PICKED OUT.

- WAS I JUST IGNORED?

- LAST EVENING,
ONE OF MY STEWS

FOUND A ROLLED UP DOLLAR BILL,
SOME WHITE POWDER,

AND A LITTLE BAGGIE
OF WHITE POWDER.

- WHAT?
- EGGS WITH YOUR SAUSAGE?

- A LARGE ICE COFFEE.
- OKAY.

- MORNING, KAT.

- MORNING, KAT.
- HOW ARE YOU?

- IT WAS SO UNCOMFORTABLE
HANDING THAT GUY HIS COFFEE

WHEN I KNEW
THAT WE WERE TAKING HIM

BACK TO THE DOCK
BECAUSE OF ME.

- DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING?
- NO.

- SO THIS TRULY IS
THE LAND OF NO INFORMATION.

- [laughs]
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.

[British accent]
MR. EYELASH,

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED
YOUR CHARTER.

HERE'S YOUR ICE COFFEE.

PLEASE EXIT THE VEHICLE,

KEEPING YOUR HANDS
AND YOUR COCAINE TO YOURSELF.

- [clears throat]

YEAH.

- I AM SO PISSED OFF.

I'M ALMOST SHAKING.

I'M SO PISSED
THAT THEY WOULD--

THAT THEY WOULD
PUT EVERYBODY'S CAREER,

EVERYBODY'S LIVELIHOOD,
EVERYTHING IN JEOPARDY.

TALK ABOUT
SOME SELFISH PRICKS.

- YOU'RE REALLY ANNOYED
BY THIS?

- YEAH.

- WE'RE BACK
WHERE WE STARTED.

LOOK, REMEMBER THE GREEN BOAT
NEXT TO US?

- I KNOW, IF I PUT MYSELF
IN THEIR SHOES,

UP UNTIL 5:00 IN THE MORNING,
HUNG OVER,

AND THEN,
ON TOP OF THAT,

YOU AREN'T DOING
YOUR PHOTO SHOOT,

YOU'RE LOSING
ALL YOUR MONEY--

I, PERSONALLY, WOULD BE
A LITTLE TICKED OFF.

- OKAY, GUYS.

- MORNING.
- MORNING.

THE REASON THAT WE'RE BACK
IN ST. MARTIN

IS BECAUSE LAST EVENING,

ONE OF MY STEWS FOUND

A ROLLED UP DOLLAR BILL,
SOME WHITE POWDER,

AND A LITTLE BAGGIE
OF WHITE POWDER.

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT IT IS.

I DON'T CARE
WHAT IT IS.

I HAVE SUSPICIONS
AS TO WHAT IT IS.

UNDER THE CONTRACT,
WE HAVE A ZERO-TOLERANCE POLICY.

YOUR CHARTER IS OFFICIALLY ENDED
AT THIS TIME,

AND YOU'RE GOING TO NEED
TO VACATE THE BOAT IMMEDIATELY.

THIS IS NOT A DECISION THAT'S
LEFT UP TO ANYBODY ELSE...

- IS THIS A JOKE?
- OTHER THAN MYSELF.

NO, THIS IS NOT A JOKE.

I'M AS SERIOUS
AS A HEART ATTACK.

SO SOMEBODY
WILL ESCORT YOU,

AND YOU GUYS
WILL VACATE IMMEDIATELY.

THAT'S THE END
OF THE DISCUSSION.

OKAY?

GET YOUR BAGS,
GET 'EM PACKED.

LET'S GO.

- OH...MY...GOD.

- I NEED
A COUPLE OF THE DECK CREW

ON THE AFT DECK,
PLEASE.

- IS THAT JUST AN ASSUMPTION?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.

- I DON'T KNOW.
I'M JUST NOT TALKING.

- HUH?
- JUST DON'T TALK.

- THIS IS NOT HAPPENING.

- LEE, LEE, NASH.
- GO.

- WE'RE CLEAR.
ALL GUESTS ARE OFF.

- COPY THAT. LET'S JUST HAVE
THE BRIDGE CHECK OUT.

- [sighs]
YEAH, STRESSFUL.

- WE'RE UPSTAIRS
FOR A DEBRIEFING NOW.

- AFT DECK--
- OKAY, NO PROBLEM.

- WATCHING THEM
WALK AWAY WAS JUST--

IT WAS HORRIFIC,

AND I JUST NEVER WANT THAT
TO HAPPEN AGAIN.

- I JUST WANT
TO START BY SAYING,

KAT, YOU DID
AN OUTSTANDING JOB.

- TOOK A LOT OF GUTS
TO, UH, SAY SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

- THANK YOU.
- OUTSTANDING.

[applause]
- THANKS.

- IF IT HADN'T BEEN
FOR YOU,

THINGS COULD HAVE
ENDED UP JUST SO MUCH WORSE.

OUTSTANDING JOB.
- THANKS.

- I AM SO PROUD
OF KAT.

HER COURAGE IN STEPPING UP
TO THAT MOMENT

MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE
IN THE WORLD.

- WE'RE GOING TO GO AHEAD,
SWEEP ALL THE ROOMS.

WE NEED
TO CLEAN EVERYTHING

'CAUSE I DON'T WANT ANYTHING
COMING BACK

TO BITE US
IN THE ASS.

- OBVIOUSLY, WE'RE NOT
GONNA GET TIPPED ANYMORE,

SO I JUST LOST $1,000.
[laughs]

- IT'S AN UGLY SITUATION.

HOPEFULLY, WE WON'T
HAVE TO GO THROUGH IT AGAIN.

ALL RIGHT,
LET'S GET AFTER IT.

- ALL RIGHT.
- ALL RIGHT.

- GOOD JOB, GUYS.

- EVERYBODY TEAM UP,
AND WE'LL GET THIS DONE.

- DUDE, COME HERE.

- I MEAN,
IS IT COCAINE?

- I DON'T KNOW ENOUGH
TO KNOW WHAT THAT IS.

IF IT IS DRUGS,
THEY'RE SPILLING IT EVERYWHERE.

IT DOESN'T
SEEM VERY COST-EFFECTIVE.

[laughs]

IF IT HAD BEEN ME,

I WOULD HAVE
FOUND THEM,

PUT THEM IN MY POCKET,
AND THEN GIVEN THEM BACK LATER

AND BEFRIENDED THE GUESTS
AND GOTTEN A BIGGER TIP.

THAT'S WHAT
I WOULD HAVE DONE.

THOSE GUYS
WERE ALL SUPER NICE,

BUT, LIKE,
THEY GOTTA UNDERSTAND, LIKE,

THAT'S RISKING
ALL OF OUR JOBS.

- I AM READY
FOR A NAP.

- DO YOU KNOW
WHERE SAM IS?

- CJ, YOU SAID
SHE WAS SLEEPING, RIGHT?

OR TAKING A NAP?

- WHAT?
- IS SAM SLEEPING?

- UM, I THINK
SHE MIGHT--

- I DON'T KNOW WHERE SHE IS,
BUT THAT'S NOT--

- I'LL FIND HER
FOR YOU.

- IS--IS SHE REALLY
LAYING DOWN?

- I THINK SO.
I DON'T KNOW.

- SHE DIDN'T ASK ME
OR TELL ME.

I'M YOUR BOSS.

AND I UNDERSTAND
THAT I AM STUCK WITH YOU,

AND WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS,
AND I DON'T KNOW

WHAT KIND
OF WORKING ENVIRONMENTS

YOU'VE EVER BEEN IN BEFORE,
BUT THAT DOES NOT FLY.

SHE'S
ON HER OWN SCHEDULE?

SHE DOESN'T HAVE
TO CHECK WITH HER BOSS

BEFORE SHE TAKES
A BREAK?

- I GUESS THAT'S--
I GUESS SO.

- I'LL TELL THEM--OKAY.

- IS SHE IN THERE?

- UM, SHE'S HAVING
A FEMININE ISSUE.

[whispering]
SHE GOT HER PERIOD.

SORRY.
- [laughs]

- BUT SHE'S UP, SHE'S FINE.
SHE'S ONLY BEEN GONE FOR--

I SAW HER IN THERE,
LIKE, FIVE MINUTES AGO.

- OKAY, I HAVEN'T SEEN HER
IN A WHILE, SO--

- YEAH, NO, SHE'S--
SHE'S UP AND ABOUT.

SHE'S RIGHT HERE.

- I WOULD HAVE SPOKEN
WITH YOU FIRST.

TO LAY DOWN.

- RIGHT.

- YOU KNOW, THERE'S NOTHING
PRESSING GOING ON.

JUST [bleep] CHILL.

I'M, LIKE, SO OVER HER.

- IS THE MASTER DONE?

- YEAH, I MEAN,
THE SHEETS AREN'T PUT ON,

BUT EVERYTHING ELSE
IS DONE.

- WE'RE STILL DOING OUR JOB,
WHICH IS LAUNDRY.

- ARE WE EATING
OUR VACANT GUESTS'

PROPOSED DINNERS?

- PRETTY MUCH.

YOU KNOW, I HAVE THE FOOD.
IT'S DEFROSTED.

I WAS GOING TO DO LAMB
FOR THE, UH, COKEHEADS,

AND SINCE THEY'RE NOT
GOING TO BE AROUND,

I'M GOING TO COOK THEM
FOR THE CREW TONIGHT,

AND THIS IS ACTUALLY
A PRETTY SPECIAL THING

'CAUSE THEY ARE
REALLY EXPENSIVE.

- DO YOU GUYS LIKE THESE?
- YEAH.

- IT'S LIKE
A FUN DINNER PARTY, RIGHT?

- IT'S GONNA BE GOOD.

TIMES OF DISTRESS

BRING PEOPLE TOGETHER,
YOU KNOW?

- THAT'S A PRETTY DRESS.
- THAT ONE'S FROM EXPRESS.

THESE ONES ARE
VICTORIA'S SECRET.

- I'M GOING TO, UM,
PUT MY HAIR STRAIGHTENER ON.

WORKING ON THE YACHT,

YOU DON'T
HAVE A LOT OF TIME

TO GET YOURSELF READY,

SO EVERY OPPORTUNITY
THAT I GET

TO MAKE MYSELF
FEEL PRETTY

OR PUT ON
SOMETHING NICE,

IT'S REALLY EXCITING.

AND I GET
TO ACTUALLY BE ME,

INSTEAD OF ME WORKING.

- LOOK HOW MUCH
MY BUTT SAGS IN THESE JEANS.

IT'S GREAT.

- DON'T YOU HAVE
ANY GAY FRIENDS?

- YEAH, YOU.

[both laughing]

DAVE--DAVE FLIRTS
WITH ME ALL THE TIME.

IT'S A COMPLIMENT.

I LIVE
ON THE BOTTOM BUNK.

THAT DOESN'T MEAN
I'M A BOTTOM.

- I KNOW,
LOOK AT THAT.

IT LOOKS LIKE
A BLOODY CAVEMAN'S FEAST.

- OH, YEAH.

- WOW,
WHAT A PRETTY-LOOKING TABLE.

- OKAY.
- THERE WE GO.

THANK YOU FOR DINNER, BEN.
- CHEERS.

- THANK YOU, GUYS,
FOR ALL YOUR HARD WORK.

- GREAT CHARTER, EVERYONE.
GLAD IT LASTED SO LONG.

- GO, CREW.

IT'S NICE MEETING AND WORKING
WITH ALL OF YOU.

- WORKING?
- LIKEWISE.

- ARE WE WORKING RIGHT NOW?
[laughs]

- [chuckles]
- THIS IS AMAZING.

WE WORK SO HARD

MAKING THAT BOAT LOOK
ABSOLUTELY PERFECT AND PRISTINE

SO THAT SOMEONE ELSE
CAN ENJOY IT.

NOW, WE GET A CHANCE
TO ENJOY IT.

- THAT MEANS WE COULD GO OUT
TONIGHT AND COME HOME TOMORROW.

[laughter]

- THAT SOUNDS
RIGHT UP YOUR ALLEY, KAT.

- BEFORE I GOT INTO YACHTING,
I WAS A GYM JUNKIE,

AND THAT'S HOW
I RELEASED MY STRESS.

THE PAST TWO YEARS,
IT'S TIME OFF, TIME TO DRINK.

IS TOMORROW
A BLACKOUT DAY?

- YOU MEAN
YOU'RE GONNA GET BLACKED OUT?

- NO, THAT'S TONIGHT.
[laughs]

- WHO WANTS TO BET
RIGHT NOW

THAT KAT IS NOT READY TO GO
AT 9:30?

- YOU KNOW WHAT? I DIDN'T
EVEN SAY I WAS GONNA ATTEMPT.

[laughter]

- DISCO NAP, TEN MINUTES.
[laughter]

- NO, THAT WAS SAM.
[laughter]

- I TOOK, LIKE,
AN ACCIDENTAL TEN-MINUTE NAP,

ALL RIGHT? I LAID DOWN--
- I DON'T KNOW

WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT--

- AND NOW--
- SPEAKING OF WHICH,

IF EVER YOU WANT
TO DO THAT AGAIN--

- I DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT,
IT JUST HAPPENED.

[laughter]
- BEFORE YOU EVER EVEN

ACCIDENTALLY CRAWL INTO BED
IN ORDER FOR THAT TO HAPPEN,

IT'D BE REALLY GREAT
IF YOU TOLD

THE PERSON WHO'S IN CHARGE
OF WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

I'M NOT QUITE SURE
WHAT YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING

WORKING ON A YACHT,
BUT THAT'S NOT HOW WE OPERATE.

THERE'S A LOT TO DO,

AND THERE'S A LOT OF THINGS
THAT HAVE TO HAPPEN.

- ADRIENNE, COOL YOUR JETS.

- I TOOK, LIKE,
AN ACCIDENTAL TEN-MINUTE NAP,

ALL RIGHT? I LAID DOWN--
- I DON'T KNOW

WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT.
- AND NOW--

- SPEAKING OF WHICH,

I'M NOT QUITE SURE
WHAT YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING

WORKING ON A YACHT,
BUT THAT'S NOT HOW WE OPERATE.

THERE'S A LOT TO DO,

AND THERE'S A LOT OF THINGS
THAT HAVE TO HAPPEN--

- ADRIENNE,
COOL YOUR JETS.

I WALKED IN THERE
TO GET SOMETHING OUT OF MY ROOM,

I GOT UP ON THE BUNK,

AND BEFORE I KNEW IT, I HAD
FALLEN ASLEEP FOR A FEW MINUTES,

AND I WOKE UP PROMPTLY
AND CAME BACK OUT.

- WHAT THE [bleep]
IS WRONG WITH YOU?

IF SHE WANTED
TO CONFRONT ME ABOUT THAT,

YOU DO IT AFTER DINNER
WHEN IT'S JUST YOU AND I.

- IT'S NOT APPROPRIATE,
IS WHAT I'M SAYING TO YOU.

- WELL, IT WAS UNAVOIDABLE,
AND IT JUST--

- I FIND THAT
REALLY HARD TO BELIEVE.

- IT HAPPENED.

- REALLY?
DO I LOOK LIKE I'M THAT DUMB?

REALLY?

I'M HAPPY TO GIVE YOU GUYS

A LITTLE BIT OF A BREAK
IF YOU NEED IT.

WHEN YOU NEED IT,
YOU CAN ASK ME.

- IF I--IF THAT'S WHAT I HAD--
- IT'S DISRESPECTFUL

FOR YOU
TO DO THAT OTHERWISE.

- IF THAT'S WHAT I HAD INTENDED,
I WOULD HAVE ASKED YOU.

- SHE'S GOT THAT SMIRK

WHERE SHE JUST THINKS
SHE OWNS THE WORLD,

AND I THINK THAT IT REALLY
WOULD HAVE CHANGED THE DYNAMIC

FOR ME IF SOMEBODY LIKE ALEKS
BACKED ME UP ON THAT.

- WHAT IS SHE DOING?

EVERYONE'S HAVING A GOOD TIME.
DON'T SPOIL THE PARTY.

THAT'S THE BIG DIFFERENCE
OF ME AND HER ON MANAGEMENT,

IS I DON'T ATTACK MY CREW,
ESPECIALLY IN FRONT OF PEOPLE.

- GIVING HER A LITTLE TASTE
OF HER OWN MEDICINE,

AND I PUT HER IN HER PLACE,
AND IT FELT REALLY GOOD.

- I LOVE YOUR GUMPTION...

[laughing]
YOUR DEFENSIVENESS.

- THAT'S ACTUALLY
WHAT HAPPENED.

- "COOL YOUR JETS."
[laughs]

- I'M NOT TRYING
TO BE THE ONE

WHO TALKS BACK
OR DISOBEYS OR WHATEVER,

BUT, LIKE,
I CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH.

- YOU KNOW, IF THESE TWO ARE
ALREADY BUTTING HEADS THIS FAST,

IT MIGHT GET UGLY.

- THIS SEASON
ON BELOW DECK...

- BYE.

- BYE.
- BYE.

- MWAH!

- YES.
- [screams]

- THANK YOU.

- YOU'RE ON CHARTER,
YOU GET BACK,

IT'S LIKE A RACE TO SEE
WHO CAN GET OFF THE BOAT

AND GET A BEER
IN THEIR HAND FASTER.

- GO, TEAM.
[cheering]

[laughter]
- THERE'S DEFINITELY

A LOT OF PEOPLE
HOOKING UP.

- "WANT TO SEE MY TITS?
AH!"

- YOU KINDA HAVE A CRUSH ON CJ?
- YES.

- I'M LIVING IN A CABIN
WITH ANOTHER GIRL.

- THEN YOU SHOULD BE
[bleep] HER.

- YOU TAKING A SHOWER?
- MM, I MIGHT RINSE OFF.

- SAM AND CJ
JUST NEED TO GO AND BANG

AND GET IT OVER WITH.

- YOU KNOW,
STUFF HAPPENS.

[laughs]

- ABANDON SHIP, GUYS.
GET IN YOUR STATIONS!

- "ABANDON SHIP
'CAUSE YOU ALL SUCK."

- OKAY, SO LET'S
JUST BREAK IT DOWN

TO SEE
WHY IT ALL WENT WRONG.

- JUST BRING ME A PLATE.
- [bleep] CHILL.

- THESE GIRLS DON'T TRUST ME,
THEY DON'T RESPECT ME.

LAST NIGHT, I KNOW
THAT YOU WERE DRINKING.

DON'T LIE TO ME.
- OKAY, YOU LITTLE RAT.

[imitates rat nibbling]

- DID I DO
SOMETHING WRONG?

- FROM DAY ONE,
YOU'VE BEEN YOURSELF.

I AM UP TO HERE WITH YOU.
- THIS IS MY CAREER.

YOU CAN TALK
ALL THE [bleep] YOU WANT,

IT'S NOT
GONNA BRING ME DOWN.

- I GOTTA HAVE A FIRST OFFICER
I CAN COUNT ON,

AND RIGHT NOW,
YOU'RE NOT IT.

WHAT IS SO DIFFICULT
ABOUT THAT, SAM?

AND WHY IS THAT SMIRK
ON YOUR FACE?

- I HAD SUCH GREAT HOPES
FOR THIS.

IS IT JUST THESE PEOPLE
AND, LIKE, THIS BOAT?

- COULD I PLEASE GO
FOR A STROLL DOWN THE DOCK?

- NO.

THIS IS GONNA BE UGLY.

- I'M OUT.

- DUDE, I CAN'T BELIEVE
THIS IS HAPPENING.

[alarm sounding]
- THERE'S A FIRE.

- FIRE ALARM.
- ALL CREW, ALL CREW.

- [bleep].
- SAM?

- WE HAVE A FIRE
IN THE CREW GALLEY.

FIRE IS NOT GOING OUT
WITH CO2.

THE EXTINGUISHER IS OUT.

THE MISTAKES THAT YOU'RE MAKING
COULD BE FATAL.