Being Human (2011–2014): Season 4, Episode 6 - Cheater of the Pack - full transcript

Previously on being human.

Sally? Dad thinks you're dead!

I know, Robbie. Please, just
don't say anything to dad.

What's the real reason
you come back to Boston?

To kill vampires before they kill people.

- Does that include me?
- Not if you help me.

God! The house! The '70s!

I'm travelling through time.

Things are quiet now.

How long do you think the peace will last?

I'm joining the pack, Josh.



Kenny!

- He's a time bomb, Josh.
- We need to stick together.

These people need us. We can do this.

Nora, are you up?

- Josh?
- Wendy!

Where is everybody?

- I'm not sure.
- Um, well, this is, uh...

- This is crazy, right?
- Yeah!

What do we think happened last night?

I think our animals tookay over.

I mean, I don't remember
everything, but I feel...

- Oh, my God!
- Relax!

Wolves are wolves, Josh.

We gotta find everyone else.



Oh, little April did
great for her first change, right?

She's beautiful,
just like her mother.

I'm sorry, baby werewolf?

Beats a dancing-cat video anytime.

- Lookay at this!
- Yeah, she's cute.

Where are you coming from, anyway? I
thought we were all in the same hollow.

Yeah, I wokaye up way far
away from you. I, um...

And I think my wolf was tracking
some big... I think it was a moose.

- A moose!
- I think so.

- This close to the city?
- Yeah, it's crazy. I know.

Did you eat it?

Um...

No.

- You don't remember.
- I don't know. Yeah, I don't know.

I thought you were more aware of
your wolf now, after everything.

I am, but sometimes I'm not.
Like, I don't remember anything.

Oh yes!

That is what we need, a hangover breakfast.

I'm starving. That change
felt like a marathon.

You guys wanna do the sausage-
French-toast sandwich place?

Yeah!

For Josh, maybe they've got
a moose burger or something.

Yeah, I would love to. Should we go?

Uh, I would normally love
to, as well, but we can't.

We have that... we have a
thing. We have a thing today.

Well...

Right! Yes! We have a thing today I forgot.

Um, so, I guess, next time?

- Bye, guys!
- Bye!

- All right!
- Bye!

- I don't believe this!
- You okayay, Rock Star?

How could I have gone through
my whole stock that quickly?

- Me and Kenny didn't drink that much!
- Bah! Are you serious?

You was tore up from the floor up!

You lived, like, the 10
spring breaks I never had.

Are you okay? You don't really
need that much blood, right?

So couldn't you just lookay
at this as like a detox?

- I'll figure something out.
- Something safe?

I'm just trying to
see where you're coming from.

You can get naked and turn into
a supernatural beast with them,

but you don't wanna eat
a short stack with them?

I just wanted to come home with
you. Why is that so weird? Hey!

Hey!

We have the refrigerator
of a depressed bachelor.

Tell me about it.

There's food at the
restaurant with Wendy and Mark.

I'm sorry!

- You expecting someone?
- Are we ever?

I'll get it.

What's up? Aidan, right?

Josh, actually. And yeah, right.

- Yeah.
- Come on in, Robbie!

Whoa! Robbie?

- Hey!
- Hi!

What's he doing here?
Aidan, ask him what...

- What brings you here, Robbie?
- Business!

- Ask him what kind...
- What kind of business?

Family.

I'm helping my dad out with the
house, taking it off his hands.

- I thought you already did that.
- No, that was rent.

This is more of a whole-house scenario.

I'm selling the place,

so you have 30 days to
either buy it or vacate.

Sorry.

Look, Robbie, this is all kind of sudden.
I mean, 30 days to just leave our home?

I feel you. I do. Except
30 days is actually the law.

- It's actually the bare minimum!
- Yeah!

I don't buy that my dad would
wanna sell the house right now.

- There's something. Is it drugs?
- Why is he selling so suddenly?

Drug money for Robbie?
For cancer treatment?

- Oh my God!
- No one's sick?

Right? Like, no one has cancer?

- Who are you? Do you live here?
- This is Nora.

- Yes, I live here.
- She's my wife.

Oh.

Why is he selling the house?

- Honestly?
- That'd be nice.

I'm advising him to.

It just makes the most
sense right now, financially.

I had some work in Florida
that didn't really pan out.

You don't say!

This place is kind of depressing to my dad.

I mean, he thinks my sister...

It's just, there's no good reason
for him to hold onto it right now.

If I can help him unload
it, then everybody wins.

Everyone except us!

I haven't told my dad that my
sister's a fugitive or whatever.

I know that you're friends with her,
so I'd appreciate it if you let her know

- that I'm selling the place.
- Yeah.

Oh yeah! I got it. I appreciate
that. Thank you so much!

- We'll tell her...
- Robbie, thanks!

We'll tell her when we see her.

Cool! Thanks!

I've already set up a
few viewing appointments.

What?

If you wouldn't mind
cleaning up the place a bit...

Hell no! You come in
here, tell us to vacate

- and start making domestic demands?
- Cleaning is the least of your worries.

- Aidan, yell at him!
- The plumbing is substandard!

Everyone expects full copper these days.

Aidan, aim higher!

I figured as much, so I'll be
in and out over the next few days

trying to fix up the
house as best as I can.

Unless you buy it, then
nothing has to change.

I'll take $300,000 for it as it is.

- There it is. Okay.
- Just think about it!

Just let that stew.

Right? Cool!

- Thank you.
- Thanks.

Hey! I know what you're thinking.

You're not ready to leave the house.

No, I guess not.

But I mean, it's not like any
of us can afford to buy it.

Half of us don't even really exist.

I know.

Part of me isn't ready to leave either.

But?

No "but".

I just wish you didn't have to deal
with this much change right now.

But it's not like we have much of a choice.

What if there was a choice?

Just, what if we were going on the
normal timeline of normal married people?

I mean, would you wanna get our own place?

No, Josh, not right now, not with the
way that things are going with you.

We talked about this, okay?

And I meant what I said.
Sally and Aidan are our family,

no matter how much time we end
up spending with this new pack.

Okay, but?

But...

I see Andrew and Caroline, April,

Mark and Wendy, making it work,
and I want that for us someday.

But for you, I can wait.

Maybe...

Maybe you shouldn't have to.

What do you mean?

Maybe we should just move
out on our own, by ourselves.

Isn't that what you're saying you want?

Yeah, but we can hardly afford
to get a place of our own.

I'll get another job.

We shouldn't have to put our lives on
hold after everything I've put you through.

I just wanna make you happy.
I wanna do this for you.

You deserve it.

The first couple that
comes in to see the house,

you just, like, slaughter them, right?

You just eat them like it's Sunday brunch.

Then I come and bust all the
pipes, and it's crazy town in here,

and then no one ever buys the house!

Listen, please stop coming up with
scenarios where I eat people, okay?

- I forgot you were hungry. Are you okay?
- Yeah!

Here's another one. I bust all the pipes.
You create a strange diversion and...

That's good. Hey!

Hey! Guys! Amazing.

We have a plan to save the house. Many
solid plans. Watch. Check this out.

Except imagine you can't see me.

It's a floating lamp. Yeah, I get it.

Okay, but we got others. For example,
there was this fire here once.

Once there was a fire here.

Hold on. There were a couple fires...

the one where Danny tried to burn us down,

and where Bishop came bursting through
that window like the kool-aid guy.

Thanks for the reminder.

Is that what you're planning
on telling the Realtor?

- What have you come up with?
- What's your plan? What you got?

We got nothing.

Okay, well, then family meeting.

No, no. What I mean is
maybe there isn't a plan,

at least not one that works for all of us.

Hold on for a second. What
exactly are we saying here?

Listen, this house has
saved us all many times,

but the reason you and I moved in here was
to find a place where we could be normal.

And against all odds, I
did that. We got married.

And so, now, it just seems like the
next logical step is for us to move out,

to find a place of our own.

Black-market blood?

Come on, you're better than
that. At least, you used to be.

No, don't go in there. The blood is putrid!

Oh! I thought I told you
to get the hell out of town!

The last time I checked, you were no
longer my lord and master, Aidan Waite.

I mean that you're not safe here, milady.
There are people lookaying for you.

I just don't feel ready to
leave Boston yet, but thank you.

I've warned you that they'd stop at
nothing, but neither apparently will you.

I never really pegged
you for the type of guy

to nurse your heartbreak
with a blood binge.

Then again, you couldn't
even stomach my father's mead.

Well, I guess I'm a thirstier
vampire than I was a human,

and your father's mead sucked.

Well...

So how the hell do you know about Kat?

You're gonna have to accept the fact
that I know pretty much everything.

Oh yeah, how soon I forget.

Look, let's get you out of here.

It's a great neighbourhood, lots of charm.

I really think this
kitchen has great bones,

exactly the type of charm you don't
find in those cookayie-cutter condos.

When did you become Robbie Realtor?

Come on, Sally, fix this!
Scare the crap out of them!

I think there's a lot to work with here.

- Dammit!
- Could we have a contractor come in?

You can do whatever you want.
The seller is very motivated.

Do you think they'd be
flexible on the 30 days?

- We could work something out.
- Shut up, Robbie!

It would be nice to be settled
in by the end of the month.

Then I'm happy to talk numbers today.

No, no, no!

Screw it!

Oh!

Oh my God! I... I apologize!

That... that smell is
not a normal thing here.

You know, I'm sure it's just the trash.

Or your badass sister! Suck it, Robbie!

Oh God! What year am I in now?

Wait a sec!

2009. Yep! I can tell
by Danny's stupid deep-v.

You guys gonna fix it
up before the wedding?

- Don't!
- Excuse me? Don't what?

Chat me up about the house.

- We're not exactly friends.
- Wonder why that is!

Because you think your
sister's too good for me.

I think you're paranoid, and
I think you've done a good job

of keeping my sister away from her family.

What did you want her to do,

mooch off of them the rest
of her life like you do?

Hey! Robbie!

This place is awesome, right?

Do you wanna come over
this weekend to help paint?

It needs more than a paint job.

It needs a lot of work,
but it's part of the fun.

I just don't know why you waste your time.

Robbie, relax.

Are you kidding me right now?

Can you please spare
me your drama on the day

that I move into my first
house with my fianc?e?

Hey, come inside.

Okay, just give me a sec.

Are you day-drinking? Danny
and I are getting married.

I don't need you to buy
me, like, a stand mixer,

but I also don't need you
to piss all over the house.

He's a creep!

Why am I the only one who can see that?

Because you're delusional!

Okay, mom and dad are coming soon, and I
really don't want it to be weird for them.

Yeah, don't worry. I'm out of here.

Sorry about
what happened with Kat.

- She seemed like a nice girl.
- Well, you told me it would happen.

Oh! Well, just because I'm right,
doesn't mean I'm not sympathetic.

See, now, I get it. This is
why you can't leave Boston.

It's because my life is
an amazing soap opera.

Well, you do live with 2 wolves and
a ghost. What kind of freak are you?

A homeless one.

- The wolves are moving out.
- Surely you've been on your own before.

Yeah, but not with great success.

It helps having someone who worries
when you don't come home at night.

Living with them, being
with Kat, it helped me.

I wanna be something better.

I see why we married so young.
You're just afraid to be alone.

No, I think you're right.

I was clearly no great
shakes when I lost you.

Look, um, I really appreciate
you saving me from another bender,

but honestly, I need to eat something.

You ate yesterday, didn't you?

Yeah, well, it look like
I've built up an appetite.

Well, let's break it down.

Hi!

Thanks for meeting me. I... I
only have a little bit of time.

Nora and I are supposed
to go look at a place.

- Oh! You guys are moving?
- Yeah, maybe. I don't know.

Just, yeah, thanks.

And thanks for making me feel
like we're in a Russian-spy novel.

Why are you acting so weird?
We didn't do anything wrong!

We're both married to other people.

Yeah, and we're animals.

Look, I know you've been a wolf longer
than I have, but it just feels right.

During the change, I feel
more connected with myself,

and it's a pretty sensual
experience, don't you think?

No. No, I've never looked at it like that.

Really? 'Cause it was last night.

I mean, isn't some part
of you open to that?

To the pack? To new possibilities?

It could be so freeing for you to just...

Are you and Mark, like,
swingers or something?

No!

Mark doesn't know what happened.
I haven't told him yet, but...

Yet? You're gonna tell him?

We are forward-thinkers, a new kind of
pack. We accept the wolf. We give in to it.

No, we're accountable for what
our wolves do to some degree.

What we did last night was wrong,

and it affects me and it
sure as hell affects my wife.

I get what you're saying.

I do, but I also love my husband, and
our relationship is based on honesty.

Listen to me.

You obviously know Mark
way better than I do,

but I know that Mark would
not be okay with this.

So what are you saying? It's
better they find out some other way?

We're the only ones who know!

Don't do this.

Okay, well, even if I don't say
anything, and you don't say anything,

who's to say they won't
know from our wolves?

Listen, I may not be a wolf sage like you
think you are, but I do know one thing:

Sooner or later, you're gonna have to
make peace with whatever your wolf wants

before it eats you alive.

Yeah, thanks for meeting me.

Huh?

It stinks in here.

I know! I'm so sorry about the smell.

It's only a temporary glitch
while we replace the plumbing.

- Jackson, honey, don't be rude.
- I need to go to the bathroom.

- Sorry, do you mind?
- Of course, yeah.

It's just right up the
stairs, straight to the...

Oh! There he goes!

- Cute kid.
- Thank you.

You know, I just read
an article in the herald

about how great the schools
are in this neighbourhood.

Jackson...

And you know, this is
all original woodwork.

I really find it adds to
the property's classic charm.

- That is nice.
- Yeah.

Hey, is that fireplace...

What happened?

I heard something in the closet. The door
slammed on my hand, and... and I fell.

How did the door just slam on you?

Look at his forehead,
Matthew. He's bleeding.

We should go.

Really? I mean, I'm pretty sure
he had that before he came in here.

Are you sure you don't wanna
check out the stained glass?

It's my favourite part of the...

Well, here goes nothing.

That place was a bust.

We have to face the fact that
there's not a lot in our price range.

Well, we can't live in a dump like that!

- You already do, dude.
- Oh my God! What died in here?

I don't know. One minute, it's fine.
The next, it's all bog of eternal stench.

Like I said before, the
plumbing is a little iffy.

Yeah, I'd say it's a bit more than...

Whoa!

Oh!

- The electricity's iffy too.
- I'll get my tools.

Sally's pissed!

Yep! We probably should've
talked it through more,

the whole "uprooting
everyone's lives" thing.

No, we just started talking
about it. They'll come around.

Sally will come around.
Aidan will come around.

And listen, we haven't even
found a place yet, you know?

It's not like we're leaving Boston.

Although, what if...

What if we did? What if we
did just leave Boston entirely?

- What?
- No, I'm...

What are you talking about?

You literally just said
we weren't doing that.

I know I said that, but I'm just saying,
wouldn't it be nice, like a fresh start,

like a clean, white room that
no one's been murdered in?

- Where is this coming from?
- Don't lookay at me like that.

No, but seriously, what's
so bad here all of a sudden

that we need to abandon our
lives and all of our friends?

No, no, no! I'm just
throwing out options, Nora.

Okay, well, let's dial it back a bit here.

I don't think we're ready.

All I care about right
now is getting you back.

The old you.

All of you.

I just think that you're
getting ahead of yourself.

Look, obviously,

I think that this is a
good idea for us some day,

but do I think it's a
good idea for us right now,

the way that things are going with you?

I don't know, Josh.

I went along with it to make you happy.

I'm going for a run.

Yeah, of course you are.

So, you wanna keep me
sober by taking me to a bar?

It just seems counterintuitive.

Everywhere I go, this is
the perfect job for me.

I work nights, I stop brawls, I'm an old
soul, so the drunks like to talk to me,

and everyone tips me in cash.

Makes taxes easier.

Wow! I mean, don't get me wrong.

You were always smart. But seeing
you like this, it's something else.

It'd be a shame to waste it all
by declaring war on your own kind.

A girl could get herself killed.

Try not to be so condescending.

So, yeah, so now, having made the
worst mistake of my short married life,

when the chance to move
out came up, I jumped on it.

I thought it would make Nora happy.

Just move away from this
new pack, move forward.

I know, I know.

I think that you're trading
one problem for another.

Trust me, I'm an authority on
the consequences of the quick fix.

Well, I know.

Hope you're a whiskey guy.

That's Suzanna. She's your guardian angel.

Yeah, I hate whiskey.

- Oh, I get it.
- You get what?

Well, hanging out at a new bar,
first-name basis with the hot bartender.

Things are a little fresh still with Kat.

It's not like that.

Oh, are you scoping dinner?

Nothing like that either, okay?

- All right. That was my guess.
- Why did you bring it up?

No, suzanna is my long-dead wife

who I just found has been living
the past 200 years as a vampire.

Kind of thing.

Sure.

- Yeah. That's not
weird. - Mm-mmm.

It's not a big deal.
Actually, it's a very big deal,

but my point is I remember
what it's like to be married,

to have someone who knows you

and knows the monster that
you are better than anyone.

Oh God! B-negative.

Anyway, listen.

Telling Nora the truth, it
might relieve your guilt,

but it won't do anything
but hurt your wife.

Isaac! No!

Sorry, man. This is
just one of those things.

Yeah, one of those things

that you have to keep from the
person you love to protect them.

It's official 2009 is my own
personal seventh circle of hell.

It's all Danny making
sandwiches all the time.

Beer's in the fridge.

The place looks great.
Thanks for the invite.

I didn't invite you. Your sister did.

Please let this be a moment I never
knew about where you bitch-slapped Danny.

I don't wanna fight with you.

- It's not fair to Sally, so you
win. - No, you win. Bitch-slap!

- Just be good to my sister.
- I don't need to fight you to win.

Sally's fed up of your drama,

so give up trying to get her to feel
sorry for you, because it's not working.

- Why are you taking this crap?
- It's not about me, Danny.

Look, Sally loves you for some
reason, so make her happy, okay?

'Cause if you hurt her,
I swear I will kill you.

All right, here we go! Casual
death threat. Now bitch-slap!

How do you think Sally would
feel if she heard you say that?

I'm willing to have Sally hate me,

if it means protecting
her from a dick like you.

Oh, nice!

Now, why don't you just run
along like you always do,

save us all some trouble?

Oh! Hey, baby! Can you believe
it's already been a month?

Oh!

- I love this place!
- What I love is you.

Don't lookay now, but I think
you've got some admirers.

Boys, wanna finish up? We're closing.

No! Come on, sweetie!

One more drink, and one for
you too, huh? What do you say?

Why not? I mean, you lose this guy,
we'll have the place to ourselves.

That is very sweet. So flattering.

Unfortunately, I'm already spokayen for.

Isn't that right, Aidan?

Yes. What? I do speak for her.

- Told you,dumb-ass!
- Shut up!

Boys, look at me.

Now, this bar is closing,
and you're both very tired.

You just can't wait to get out
of here and go home, can you?

You're gonna leave this place right now.

You're gonna walk home without
stopping and get into bed.

Once there, you are going to think about

all the stupid things you ever
said to a girl in your whole life,

and it's probably gonna make
you cry till you fall asleep.

Okay? What do you say?

- Soft hair.
- You're pretty.

Thank you! And?

- Good night?
- Good night.

Thank you.

"I do speak for her"?

Well, you caught me off guard.

- Oh, you're sharp.
- Yeah.

Hey!

We're better than that.

Hey!

That was a long run.

Nora, I'm...

I'm sorry. I'm all over the place.

I get that.

That's what I was trying to say.

I don't think you're ready
to leave what we have here.

Josh, what's going on?

Nora, I...

- What? What?
- Not a good time, man!

- How long are you planning on staying?
- Until this place stops reeking!

I'm digging through the
drains. Oh, before I forget,

I know it's late, but there's
a couple that might stop by.

So just come get me if they show.

What's going on, Josh? I want the truth.

Seriously?

I'll get it.

They'll take one whiff of
this place and be on their way.

Oh, my God, Josh. I
was wrong. I'm so sorry!

Not as sorry as he's about to be.

It's not his fault!

What's not his fault? Stop!

Married people are the worst!

- Stop it!
- It was just our wolves!

What was just your wolves?
What's the hell's going on?

What do you think?

Apparently, Joshy boy's wolf thought

it would be okay to sleep
with my wife during the change!

What?

Nora, I'm so sorry!

Stop it! Oh my God!

Stop that now!

Nora!

No, stop it! Please! Just stop it!

This... this is not how I
thought this night would end.

You needed a distraction.

Oh, ha ha ha!

I wouldn't give you any
more blood even if I had it.

Okay, okay, okay.

You can do this, Aidan, you know?

You're really close, and I can
talk you through the rest of it.

- Really?
- Yeah.

So I can end up just like you, huh?

So I can just go around
killing my own kind, huh?

Oh! Yes, like you never have.

Yeah, I have, only when I've had no choice.

Look, you kill a human being, it's awful,
it's horrifying, but then there's a door.

You kill one of us, there's
nothing, and that's unconscionable.

You want us to be in this together?

You want me to quit blood?

Well, then I want you to
quit what you're doing.

I'm doing work that needs to be done, okay?

I cannot change every vampire,
but I'd feel a hell of a lot better

if I knew at least some of
them didn't have to kill humans.

Then why don't you let
me be your test case?

Look at yourself. You're not ready.

You're afraid of what'll happen
to you if you lose your roommates.

Okay, that's fair, but all these years, I
have been clinging to a shred of humanity,

the shred that I lost when you died.

Now, you, you've maintained
control. You have been strong.

I'm ready to do that too. I am. I need to.

Do you think you're stronger than me?

Please, you're faster, maybe.

But if you slip, I will be ruthless.

And if you kill again, I'm
not gonna protect you anymore.

Well, I guess we have
to try, then, don't we?

How can you live in a house that
has a saw kill room for a basement.

Why are you so mean?

What is so wrong with me that you feel
the need to cut me down all the time?

It's not you.

I just feel like I'm the only one who
sees this place for what it really is.

I mean, somebody's gotta be realistic.

Yeah, it's always been your strong suit.

Look, you tell me that this is what
you really want, and I'll back off.

I just don't believe it is.

I've never been more sure
about anything in my life.

I guess I'll just stop getting in your way.

It's cool. I got some buddies in
Seattle that need help with a startup.

Thing's gonna be huge.

- Guess I better get going.
- Yeah, you should.

Yeah.

I'm so sorry!

I wasn't gonna tell you. I
knew it would only hurt you.

Being lied to feels great.

I screwed up, okay?

But it was during a turn.
I didn't want it to happen!

- On some level, you did.
- No!

You said you're more
connected to your wolf now.

Does that mean that you made a choice?

None of what I am now was a choice, Nora!

All this "let's get out of Boston," live
like we're in the Sunday style section.

- Please stop. No.
- It was all just you covering.

No, I want those things too!
I'm not... listen, listen.

- You know I'm not that kind of guy!
- But you are that kind of wolf!

- No, I'm not!
- Your wolf is winning!

Has he already won?

No! This will never happen again.

How can I believe you?

Is that what it was
like, when you got jumped?

- You would've killed him, Josh.
- No, no.

- I saw it in your eyes!
- No, no.

- And you said you liked it.
- No!

You liked feeling strong. That
was not strength or control!

That was a vicious killer!

I see that now. Do you?

Let me know when you're ready
to do something about it,

because this, I can't do this anymore.

This house better freakin' sell.

Hey!

Shouldn't we talk more?

I don't wanna say or do
something that I can't take back.

Nora.

I know. Get some sleep.

Sapp & sons mortuary.

Hey, it's me. I need your help.

She's better off without me.

Robbie, that's not true.
That was never true!

I'm back. Am I back? I'm back.

Oh thank God!

Robbie, I'm gonna make
it up to you, I promise.

Sally?

You can see me?

What's going on?