Being Human (2011–2014): Season 4, Episode 3 - Lil' Smokie - full transcript

Previously on Being Human.

I want you to turn me, in what you are.

What did you do?

Run!

I saw your father today.

Aidan? Did you tell him?

That his little boy's
grown up to run Boston?

- No.
- Ok, good.

I lost my best friend.

- I think I can help him.
- What do you say?

Donna's magic is
what got Josh into this.



(Laughing)

(Sally speaking foreign language)

I'm so sorry!

(Aidan grunting, werewolf snarling)

(Josh screaming)

- You're safe now, do you hear me?
- The spell wasn't finished.

You shouldn't have done
anything without me.

We didn't know where you were!
We couldn't just wait.

Not after everything
that he went through!

You know I love that ring.

Then where the hell is it?

I told you! It fell!

No! Not again.

Ah!



(Danny screaming, bones crunching)

(Thud)

Ah! God, that felt good, didn't it?

Whoo! I'm a little flushed.

We're a good team, aren't we?

Sally...

Hey...

You've been reading that book for 2 days.

Don't you think it's
time to come up for air?

- Yeah. Can't.
- Get rid of it.

Take it back and bury it in
the soup rubble where you found it,

because it's bad juju.

Look, this isn't an encyclopedia of evil.

I need to find out what I am now,
what I can do,

aside from yanking
weapons out of menstrual blood.

I love that we have the kind of
relationship where we can discuss, uh...

Menses first thing in the morning.

But when your pupils roll
back into your face,

- and you're growling...
- I was resting my eyes.

Yes, but it's terrifying when
you rest your eyes, so...

Got a redecorating spell in there?

'Cause the wildly expensive
wallpaper I bought keeps falling down!

Yeah, probably, if we wait long enough.
Oh yeah, the book changes.

The fairy-trapping spell that
was there yesterday, it's gone today!

Fairy-trapping what?

Oh yeah. And there's new spells now.

You need your crops cleared
from a beetle infestation?

I got you.

Listen to me. Blood magic, it costs.

You, more than anyone,
should understand that.

- I mean, you know what Donna was.
- Yeah, I'm not doing blood magic.

That's not what this book is.
Well, most of it.

I only jumped on the blood train to
help save Josh when no one else could.

Not to toot my own horn
or anything, but... toot!

Toot away.

And may I remind you,
it took you a lifetime...

Several lifetimes, actually...

To get a hold of your
feeding and your killing.

You could've bashed out your fangs

so you wouldn't hurt
anyone, but you didn't.

I can also learn to control
what's inside me.

This book is an operating manual
for whatever it is I am now.

(Sighs)

Can you just trust me?

First day.

Ready for the awkward co-worker questions?

Yes. Yeah.

Wait, you didn't tell everybody
that my mom died, right?

- Never.
- Good.

- 'Cause giving her cancer was bad enough.
- I didn't exactly gave her cancer.

It's just the slumdog of excuses.

Oh, hum, one thing I didn't say,

is that your sister is in rehab.

- Which, incidentally, is true.
- What?

- When did this happen?
- Two months ago.

Look, we didn't wanna
spoil your one human day a month.

You didn't tell her about
what was going on with me, right?

No! No.

I think the whole
"vampires and werewolves are real"

kicked off a binge, and she
just checked herself in.

Yeah. I thought she took it awfully well.

I just... I... I should've been there.

I should've recognized
that that was gonna happen.

You were incapacitated.

All right, any other news?
I'm pretty much numb now.

- I can take it.
- Tapped out.

Oh! Before I forget, here.

No, Nora packed my lunch already.

Maple-bacon donuts for Meredith,
to get back in her good graces.

Genius!

Seriously, when's the administration
gonna catch on

that you, me and Nora
are the worst nurses ever?

Between the 3 of us, we've taken
a combined 18 months leave

in the last 2 years.

- Seriously? Wow!
- Yeah.

Thank God there's a
nursing crisis in this country.

I thought that funeral home closed
after bishop... ended.

It reopened under new management.

Just like that? Is the
whole regime coming back?

I've stayed out of it.

'Cause that's usually super easy for you.

I think it's time I give
them a lecture on over-dipping.

Good luck with that!

(Tires squealing)

Ok. All right.

* And I'm leaving... *

(Grunting)

(All grunting)

* And every night,
this scene of death *

* Is deep within my mind *

Ok, ok, ok.

Not the head. Not the head.

I hate that.

(Grunting)

S04E03
Lil' Smokie

- Ok. I'm so sorry.
- Kenny?

Look, I... I told them to grab you.

They clearly misunderstood.

This is not how I wanted you to see me.

You had me kidnapped?

Guys, look.

I don't know how many
times you want me to say this.

We don't do that anymore!

When I said "escort our special guest,"

I literally meant "bring
Aidan to the office."

It wasn't gangster code for "go
Guant?namo bay." All right?

You're the new management?

Yeah. I know, I don't really look the part.

But your face... How did...

How did I get it back
from being hideous?

Time, mostly.

You know how vampires can
procreate normally now?

The face resumes its
usual hotness after a few weeks.

It's like the chicken pox. Ok, uh...

So, you're back. Welcome back.

(Sighs)

Look, why didn't you just get a hold of me?

What? Come say hello?

Yeah. Well, anyways, you
know, not having to skulk around

like quasimodo
definitely has its advantages.

I'll give you a sneak peek
of the rest of the operation.

- There's an operation?
- Yes.

(Telephone ringing)

(Woman speaking over pa, indistinct)

(Machine beeping)

(Telephone ringing, echoing)

(Woman on pa): Dr. Manson, 463.

(Man on TV): We have breaking news.

With the recent heavy rains,
a flood warning

is now in effect

for the entire Southern
portion of the state.

Residents near levees
or in low-lying areas

are urged to evacuate.

(Doctor): I need a hand in here!

Josh!

(Woman moaning)

(Machines beeping, heart beating)

5 mg of Diazepam.

Good call.

Oh my God!

A spell to bring back my door!

No! Stop! Stop! Stop!

Stop!

(Voice breaking): Sorry, guys.
I already missed it once.

(Exhales sharply)

(Speaking foreign language)

(Continues speaking foreign language)

(Whooshing)

- Ding dong!
- No!

Thanks for the invite.

I don't understand.

No. You don't. That's
your problem, in a nutshell.

- I was trying to call back my door.
- Didn't you mother ever tell you?

If something seems too good
to be true, then it probably is.

You put that spell in the book.

From down there, you can control it?

I paid for this book
with my life. Many of us did.

Is there a spell to bring back your door?

You think it's that easy to just move on?

I'm just hanging around
here to play dominoes?

That's not an answer!

Maybe you didn't get a door. I got a door!

Our connection is deeper than ever, now.

The more you practice our
magic, the stronger I get.

Look, I know you don't wanna believe it,

but we do less damage down there.

Look, maybe you can pretty it up again, ok?

How about a villa in Tuscany?
We can make gnocchi.

I'm not going back to that hole.

Screw you, and screw your book!

(Screaming, crying)

- Sally!
- Aaah!

(Voices whispering)

(Whooshing, Sally gasps)

(Panting)

What did I do?

(Voices whispering)

(Horns honking)

(Kenny sighing)

I know what you're thinking.

What, that you're
gonna score us some crack?

'Cause it doesn't have the
same effect on us, Kenny.

No, I mean, this place.
It's unassuming, right?

- Exclusive?
- Exclusive?

Boston's newest and
finest live-blood venue.

So... what do you think?

Tonight is the grand opening.
It's pretty awesome, isn't it?

- Yeah, nice.
- Yeah. Thank you.

Hey, gorgeous.

You know, the vampires who
came after the virus,

they do not wanna go to
some stonehenge-inspired

buffalo-bill torture club.

And if they do, that is creepy.
I don't want them here.

And you know me, I love horror.

Oh, hey, check this out.

The vamp who did this, prodigy.

She mixed the blood with a polymer
to stop it from oxidizing.

She calls it B positive.

You get it? B positive?

- What's up, Mr. Bishop?
- Hey, Sarah.

Yeah... you got a lot to be positive about.

Kenny...

How did you pull this off?

The club, getting the vampires in line...

Well, I mean, I don't
wanna brag or anything,

but after the virus, there was a big
vacuum in leadership. I stepped in.

- You know how it works.
- You mean, you killed your way to the top?

Turns out, someone like me can
be a pretty smart fighter.

I learned some tricks without
anyone to teach me. No offense.

Of course.

- And where's Donna now?
- I don't know.

Back in her hole, I guess?
I used the book to call her up.

When I destroyed it, it sent her back.

All this happened when
I was out getting more wallpaper.

Yes! You were gone forever!

(Sighs)

Nora, the spells,

they're burnt into me.

What?

I remember them. All.

It's like they're a part of me now.

So you know the whole book? By heart?

Centuries...

I don't know,
millenniums... Millennia... of spells.

You said Donna tricked you. How?

She made me think I was calling up my door.

You can do that?

Well, she says that I can't,
but I don't believe her.

Wait...

Would you do that?

I had to try.

Anyways, there's not a
spell in the book for it.

Nora, I can't stay here for eternity.

You and Josh, you guys are
gonna move away soon, yeah?

And Aidan, we never completely
know what he's gonna do.

It's not like he lives
a risk-free lifestyle.

None of us do.

And, in a hundred years, when
the house falls down, I'm what?

What am I?

I'm a homeless ghost
wandering the streets of Boston,

waiting for global warming or
a super virus to liquefy us?

Now you're just spinning out.

I'm not gonna tell you what to do,

mostly because I know you, and
I know you're just gonna do

whatever you want anyway.

(Chuckles)

But there could be serious blowback.

Do you think that calling up
my door is gonna poison my soul?

Is it gonna turn me into
this evil necromancer.

When you say that, all I can picture is
a guy with a Merlin beard and a pointy hat.

(Nora sighs)

I think we choose what we are.

You can't be corrupted
unless you wanna be corrupted.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to stare. I'm sorry.

It's kind of hard not to.

I always admired you, you know?

You got out.

I never did.

You would've, Sally...

If you'd had more time.

Who knows...

With all those spells inside of you...

You could turn out to be
the strongest of us all.

(Siren wailing)

Ace work, man.

- You were a monster in there!
- Thanks.

Hey, I heard about your mom. Is she ok?

You know, if you ever need
a rec, my dad's an oncologist.

He's up on all the trials,
knows all the best guys...

(Telephone ringing, woman speaking over pa)

Josh...

Yeah, uh, I'm sorry, uh...

Could you just re-say what you just said?

Have you been sharing
your mom's marijuana card?

Is that your aftershave?

- Are you serious?
- I'm having an allergy attack.

Ragweed's super high today.

(Siren wailing in distance)

How are you gonna move
that much product here?

Well, here, we have a no-judgment policy,

so all dietary persuasions are welcomed.

Do you want me to warm one up for you?

No. Save it for tonight,
for your paying customers.

Are you always this hard to impress?

I'm just waiting for the ask, Kenny.

I mean, the grand tour, blood offerings,

and you have the same
manic vibe that you had

when you were trying
to convince me to turn you. So...

Well, you basically threw the deformed
baby in the dumpster and ran.

- You're the one who's suspicious?
- You almost killed Nora.

We had to give her a transfusion,
or she'd be dead.

I was starving! I was starving.

What is she to you, anyways?
I'm your blood!

Yes, you're my blood,
and they're my friends.

You were in their house.

That's why I brought you here today.

To show you I'm not a monster anymore.

(Sighs)

Kenny, what you've accomplished...

(Scoffs)

It's something else.

Even Bishop would be proud.

You and Bishop ran this town.

We can do that too.
The two of us. Father and son.

We can rebuild Boston, post-apocalypse.

- Kenny...
- Think about it.

I've already run Boston
with Bishop and with Mother.

- I'm not doing that.
- Come on.

- You're not gonna consider it at all?
- Here's a hot tip.

All that leadership ever
comes down to is kill or be killed.

No! No, no, no. It's more than that.

Think about it. You have the opportunity
to shape a future generation.

Convert them, if you want.

Everybody nowadays is
just trying to eat sustainably.

Why can't we do that?

Together?

I honestly don't know whether
to wish you luck or not.

- Oh, come on.
- I don't.

Aidan... Really?
What, so you're just gonna leave?

(Sighs)

Yeah.

(Josh grunting)

(Panting)

Where the hell were you?
You've been gone over an hour.

I lost track of time.

Dr. 12-year-old is
looking for you.

(Man talking, indistinct, child laughing)

(Woman speaking foreign language,
machines beeping)

(Men talking, indistinct)

(Grunts)

Hey!

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Josh! Josh!

Look, I don't know what the
hell is up with you, man,

but something is very, very wrong.

Look, you need to go. Go, now!

- Oh! Hey!
- Hey.

Are you home for tea?

Uh, I don't wanna talk about it.

- I'm going for a run.
- Again?

You're gonna be ready
for the marathon this year.

- It's the only thing that helps.
- Helps what? Hey!

Josh, what...

What's going on?

I just gotta go.

(Sighs)

I'm not even gonna pretend
I wasn't eavesdropping.

I'm not even gonna pretend
I know what to do.

You're giving him space and time,

and a kicking new bedroom.

And that's all you can do.

I actually thought redecorating
would make a difference.

Is that crazy?

I figured, if we can't move right now,

at least I could make this
look like a real home, finally.

Make it look like a place
where a happy, married couple lives.

Yeah, and that's what newlywede
was supposed to do.

They're supposed to nest, and bone 24/7.

(Laughs)

Now I feel even worse.

(Laughing): Sorry.

Josh thinks I don't see it.

But the wolf is there.

Just under his skin.

I catch it in his eyes sometimes.

For a second. Less.

It's a wolf looking back at me.

* I was happy as a child *

* couldn't want for any more *

* was in love... *

I don't know what to do about Josh.

But why don't you let
me do something for you?

Can you snap your fingers

and finish this room like Mary Poppins?

I can take it away, Nora.

I can heal you.

I'm leaving today, ok?

So, what's it gonna be?

* You've got a lot to give *

* I've got a lot to take *

Ok, great. We don't have
a lot of time. Come on!

* Your eyes should stir
a thousand stars *

* when roses bloom,
majestic flowers *

(Chuckling)

* Nothing ever grows *

* Nothing ever grows *

(Kenny inhaling deeply)

You smell like bubblegum.

And girl.

(Giggles)

(Sighs)

I don't know how you guys do it.

Day after day, keeping up
with this... this appearance.

And the energy!

It's exhausting.

Just kick back, Mr. Fisher.

Open up a warm one.

Yeah. Wash the day away.

(Screams)

It's cool.

Shhh!

After this, all you're gonna remember
is asking me for my sandman comics.

All right?

What? What do you want?

Your hygiene could use
some attention, Josh.

We could smell that stink for half a mile.

You know me?

More like "knew" you.

(Both growling)

(All grunting)

(Josh roaring)

What the hell?

Josh!

Josh, are you all right?

I couldn't go home.
I didn't want Nora to see me.

Josh, the vampires, did you
ever run across them before?

- Did you get any names?
- No.

No. They knew me, though.

They were stalking me.

They attacked you, but they let you go?

They tried to kill me.

Then, when I fought, I...

Turned.

What?

Only this was worse.

It was my fangs and my claws...

- Josh, that doesn't...
- It started going to my arms.

I've never heard of a wolf who
was able to turn at will.

Not even purebreds.

I don't know what's happening to me.

All right, look...

Let's just go get you cleaned up, ok?

Come on.

I can't go home.

Ok. Ok.

Who knew Chinatown was
one-stop shopping for witches.

They had bear gallbladder.

Sliced or powdered.

I can't stop thinking
about those pork buns.

I could seriously have
murdered a four-pack.

How did I get here?

I'm a registered nurse,
and now I'm side-kicking

as a magician's assistant.

(Laughs)

Ok. I think that's good.

Yeah. So...

Massage it on the scar,

and then wrap it in the bandages.

(Sighs)

Part of me thinks this can't work.

And the other part...

Is this gonna have side effects
that I can't even begin to imagine?

No, Nora. We didn't
kill anybody to get this.

Honestly, this is like the
witch equivalent of zit removal.

Hey, I don't wanna pressure you.
Are we moving too fast?

(Both laughing)

I'm married now, to a man that I love.

It shouldn't matter. Josh doesn't care.

Yeah.

But even when we're just lying
in bed, I can feel it against him.

It's always there.

It's a reminder of will, you know?

And what he did to me.

Third-degree burns,

5 skin grafts...

And still...

Do you think that's enough?

Yeah, that looks good.

(Sighs)

- Ok.
- Wait!

Do you know the spell word for word,
or are you just remembering the gist of it?

'Cause the last thing that I need is some
gollum creature waving from my abs.

- I know the spell.
- Ok.

(Exhales sharply)

(Speaking foreign language)

(Whooshing)

Sally?

There she goes again.

(* Rock *)

(Man whooping nearby)

Here I go again.

Oh my God!

The house! The '70s!

So sad I didn't know thee!

(Girl): Lil' smokie?

Does anybody want a little smokie?

Lil' smokie?

- Thank you.
- Welcome.

Lil' smokie?

Lil' smokie?

No! Let me go!

The blood of the child revives us!

(Sally screams)

Hey! Hey!

Where are your parents?

- Lil' smokie?
- What's your name?

Hey, I'm right here!

What happened to you in our house?

Kenny...

Kenny...

Uh...

Look, I think I know where
we're aheaded...

Yeah, sure.

What better place than the woods
where you dumped me, right?

(Aidan sighs)

Look...

Josh was attacked by a couple
of vampires last night.

Do you know anything about that?

I sent them to kill him.

You tried to murder Josh?

What, like he sent you to kill me?

How did you know about that?

He flipped out when you wanted to turn me.

I almost ate his girlfriend.

Ok, you know what?

If this is a shakespearean tragedy,
let's skip to the end.

You say you can fight?

Prove it.

Come on.

Come on.

Kill me for abandoning you.

But you're gonna leave my friends alone.

Pick it up.

I don't wanna kill you.

I am sick and tired of trading
guilt trips with you, Kenny.

So I'm gonna say this one more time.

Pick it up!

You think I'm afraid of dying?

You know, I was gonna leave that
cell on my 18th birthday,

get sick and die in my own piss and vomit.

Look at me!

I don't have any memories
of touching my dad's hand,

or what my mom smells like.

You told me that a relationship

between a vampire and
his maker was special.

- Yes, I did!
- You said that it was magical!

And that's the reason that I came back.

There has to be more than
just blood between us!

You wanna know why I went after Josh?

Yes. I do.

Because I thought that if
he was out of the picture...

You thought what? You
thought I would let you in?

Yeah.

Oh God!

I'm not gonna touch them.

I promise. Nora, Josh, anybody you want.

I... I'm gonna stay
away from them, I swear.

How am I supposed to believe this?

What is this? What did you do?

You can change the way that you look?

I can't control what I look like.

I can control what people see.

I can compel vampires.

- Wait, you can compel me?
- Yeah.

- Without saying a word?
- It's draining.

I mean, I gotta feed 4 or 5 times

what a normal vampire
does, just to keep it up.

Well then, why didn't you
just compel me to join you,

to forget that you'd attacked Josh?

If it's not real, what's the point?

(Sighs)

You don't have to put
on a mask for me, Kenny.

It helps me deal with myself.

(Cell ringing)

Kenny.

Ok. We gotta go.

Never again.

Promise me, you're not gonna
go marathon man at night anymore.

It's not the vampires
that I'm worried about.

The wolf...

The wolf can come out whenever it wants.

He came out because he thought
he was going to be killed.

He thought you were going to be killed.

Thank God he did!

I thought he was gonna
take over completely!

Even after the vampires ran off,
it was everything I could do

to just cling onto a
sense of me, of myself.

The thing I can't stop thinking about...

Is the fact that I... I liked it.

I felt powerful. I felt strong.

You didn't like it.

You were just acting on instinct.

That's right, but what
if that instinct takes over?

What if I can't get back?

No. You're still you, ok?

I'm so sorry.

You've nothing to be sorry about.

This isn't your fault.

The way we brought you back...
Sally said she wasn't finished.

But I am back.

I am what I am.

Don't drag Sally into this,
please. Don't even...

- I'm not.
- Mention it to her.

I'm just asking you not
to put it all on you.

We're gonna figure this out.

I love you.

And you are the most
selfcontrolling person I know.

Don't take that the wrong way.

You will learn how to reign in this wolf.

You're stronger than he is.

He's alone.

And you have me.

And you have Sally, and you have Aidan.

We'll cover shifts for you.

We'll track what triggers you.

And we will keep the wolf
to his one night a month.

Whatever it takes.

Are you kidding me? Back off.

Look, I haven't reported you, but I will.

You don't have to worry about me anymore.

I quit.

Hey...

What is going on with you?

Do you need help?

I'm sorry if hurt you.

Holy mother!

Sarah? Sarah?

Oh my God!

What happened here?

No, no, no! Don't touch her!

Damned! I should've been there!
Who would try something like that?

Could this be anyone you
crossed on the way up?

No. I got rid of all them.

You think it was wolves?

They wouldn't try this without a full moon.

Look, the last time I saw carnage
like this was turf wars.

But vampires, we don't do that anymore.

Not even Bishop would make this
kind of statement, till the end.

Do you think it was a hit out on me?

Like an ambush or a "Luca Brasi
sleeps with the fishes" message?

- Ease up, godfather.
- Ok, then what?

- Van Helsing?
- Kenny...

Well, at least I know how we can find out.

(Crying)

Nora? It didn't work?

Sally...

Tell me I'm not hallucinating.

(Both laughing)

It's gone!

Thank you!

You're not regretting doing it?

No! God no!

No, I'm so happy for you!

It's just...

What happens after, where I go...

I mean, I guess that's just
the price of doing magic.

Seeing things that I can't stop.

Things that I don't wanna know.

I saw the little girl again.
The one who gets murdered.

Sally...

You don't have to do any more magic.
Not for me, not for any of us.

Not if it's hurting you.

(Paper rustling)

What is it?

Oh! Really?

(Gasps)

- Ok, it's not that big a deal.
- Do you not see that?

Well, we'll have to
sandblast to get the glue off.

(Sighs)

It's the little girl who dies.

It says: "Don't leave me."

- What? Is she here?
- No. She's sending me a message.

Time slipping, it's not a punishment.
I'm supposed to help her.

You put cameras in?

So you can, what, tweet video
of vampires sucking people dry?

- What the hell are you kids thinking?
- I'm not a moron, all right?

Only I know about the cameras.
I installed them myself.

Plus the files overwrite
themselves every 12 hours.

(People talking, screaming)

Oh! Damn!

(* Man singing rock, lyrics indistinct *)

Who the hell is that?