Being Human (2011–2014): Season 1, Episode 3 - Something to Watch Over Me - full transcript

Aidan is haunted by his past, so he tries to live in the present by joining the Neighborhood Watch (NW) program. The police officer acting as the NW liaison is the son of one of Aidan's ...

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Previously on Being Human...

You know there's
a better way to do this...

Do what?
Be a better monster?

- What about the apartment?
- Yeah, it's perfect.

We'll invite the neighbours
over and eat them.

- I'm Sally, hi.
- She's a ghost.

You were supposed to marry what's his face,
weren't you?

- Danny.
- Right. So why don't you just go haunt him?

I would love to leave.
I would love to just open that door

and magically walk back into the life
that was ripped away from me.

You're a monster...



***

Tell Bishop what happened
last time was a mistake.

Cause I don't mind cleaning up
you occasional mess. That's what we do.

We're family.
That's how it's gonna be.

Or else...

Now.

***

Live forever.

Travel the world
in a different million ways...

Know every *** that you could possibly want.

Immortality.

What's not to love?

There's just one thing
they leave out of the pitch...

Time...



that endless, sucking time.

No closing bell, no quarter.

No measure...

but memories,

those haunting memories.

Slice 'em, dice 'em, rue 'em.

Do it again.

And realize...

there is only one true thing.

It is impossible to
live forever perfectly.

Tell me you brought
more coffee.

What?

Wait, wait, wait!

Who are these people?

Oh yeah, my bad.

Everybody, this is Josh.

Josh, meet the neighbours.

- Hi, Josh!
- Hi...

You invited the entire
neighbourhood? Are you insane?

What are we doing if we can't
say hi to the neighbours?

No one says hi to
the neighbours anymore.

You know why?
'Cause we're the neighbours!

Josh, it is a party.
Relax. Now.

I should make
a 7-layer dip, right?

No.

No, you shouldn't.

How's it looking out there?

Hmm, let's see,
we've got Edie, the dry drunk,

Ben, the closet racist,

April, the psychopath masseuse.

You've invited every neighbour
I've ever hated

to be a part of
your neighbourhood watch.

Neighbourhood what?

Mingling.

Just hear me out.

It makes perfect sense!

Who better to
watch over a neighbourhood

than a couple of monsters?

We need to be a part of things.

This is a part of things.

I know you've all seen these
around the hood.

Take a good look
at the enemy, people.

Jesse.

Josh.

So, ready to take back
the night or what?

Some art-school tagger thinks
that our personal property

is his personal artwork?

Uh-uh!

- Excuse me.
- Not anymore.

This joker's left
his exploding mushroom

on our stoops,
our mailboxes, our churches...

What are you doing?

Nothing.

Waiting for Danny.

- Why?
- I don't know, Josh.

Maybe 'cause last time
he was here,

we had a moment.

We practically touched.

Jim, how many times
have you had to...

- I made Aidan invite him.
- Three times!

Welcome Officer
Michael Garrity,

our police liaison
who has so kindly come

to say a few words
to us tonight.

Thank you, Officer.

Thanks.

Well, welcome,
everybody, and...

just a thank you
and a quick reminder:

No heroes out there.

Observe and report only.

Leave the hairy stuff
to us cops.

We've got better insurance
than you do.

Great! OK, so the sign-up
sheet is being passed around.

Those are mine.

...until we catch this guy.

Let's do it.

All right.

So, go ahead.

Live forever.
Forget what you've forgotten.

But they won't.

They never do.

So, vampires brush their teeth,

but they don't eat?

Uh, not for sustenance, no,

but maybe for appearances
every now and then.

And the whole sunlight thing,

like, shouldn't you explode
when you go outside?

What? I don't know!

Vampires and throw up
scared the crap out of me

as a kid.

Um...

Let's just say that we evolved.

We used to be nocturnal.

Now we're photosensitive.

Why would he come all the way
over here and then not stay?

Is my energy or whatever
so awful?

- Who?
- Danny.

Is he such pansy ass

that he can't handle
a little spookiness?

Maybe it wasn't you
who creeped him out.

Maybe it was Josh.

OK, um...

You want closure, don't you?

You want resolution.

Well, maybe Danny not staying,
maybe that's your closure.

That doesn't make any sense.

Closure is satisfying,
indefinite.

This is murky and depressing.

Look, maybe the key
to you moving on

is moving past Danny.

Like, what if you
met someone else?

Someone more like you.

What does that mean?

It's...

here.

- What's here?
- Nothing.

But it's downstairs.
You told her, right?

Well, I was trying to.

- Guys!
- Hey!

Why is Axl Rose
standing in my bathtub?

Why aren't you killing him?

Sally, this is Tony.

He's a ghost.

Shut up!

You're a ghost?

You're a genius.

- When did you die?
- '87.

- Why are you wearing makeup?
- Why aren't you?

Let's start over.

Tony DiPaulo!
Nice to meet you.

I can't believe it!

So, we're good here?

- We're just gonna...
- Yeah...

Tea, please.

So, what's it like
working in a hospital?

It's OK.

A little sad sometimes.

Thank you.

What's the saddest thing
you've ever seen?

Um... the parents
who have children in here.

They're the saddest.

They order coffee,

but then they just sit there
and never even touch it.

Allow me.

Oh no... it's OK.

I'll see you soon.

Aidan!

Compelling the counter girl
into a free drink.

Don't you have
anything better to do?

Like bailing you out again?

What now?

Well...

It's probably nothing.

But when one of my officers

searches a database
for one of us,

it raises a red flag.

Who searches a database for me?

It wouldn't be the first time.

Who?

Michael Garrity.

Who is Michael...

Officer Garrity.

Oh, so you do know him?

Barely. He was in my house
for 10 minutes.

In your house?

Look, I'm on it, OK?

I will take care of it.

Good. Good. He raids a stool
most nights at O'Sheedy's.

Let me know what happens.

So, you know Aidan
from the hospital?

Died in the ER. Anyway...

we doing this or what?

What?

Blowing this popsicle stand.

Yeah, I...

I can't... leave.

- Sure you can.
- I've tried.

It's bad. I get...

I get too close to the door,

and this rush, not a good one,

and this roaring in my ears,

and then the bottom
just drops out.

I'm never going anywhere.

OK, first of all,
you're beyond doors, babe.

That stuff's just
for the breathers.

You can move
with your thoughts.

Shut up!

Yeah!

Door, floors, they don't matter!
We're energy.

But you gotta be centred to
do this stuff, you know?

Cleansing breath
and all that crap? OK?

Mm-hmm.

Picture any room
inside the house.

- OK.
- OK.

Take my hand
so I can come with.

Close your eyes.

Focus.

- I did this?
- You did this.

Well, sort of. I aided.

Ah!

Oh!

Hey, Aidan, it's Josh.

Hey, I just wanted to
thank you, once again,

for signing us up for
the neighbourhood watch.

Oh, and then ditching
last minute.

That's so cool.

Hi.

I'm late. Sorry.

- Josh!
- Yeah.

Hey. Jesse.

Right. That's a great shirt.

Armband, walkie-talkie.

Wow! We mean business, huh?

Yeah. Every 2 minutes,
there's a sexual assault

in this country.

I pray to God one didn't happen

while we were waiting for you.

Just kidding.

Officer, uh, Garrity!

Right? Aidan.

Michael.

Michael. Thanks for
coming by the other night.

Neighbours appreciated it.
One of these.

And you popped in here
to tell me that?

I'm sorry?

I just...

I'm a nurse over at SCH.
I'm here all the time.

Never seen you.

OK.

SCH...

You got the full-on psycho stuff
coming through your doors?

I guess.
You get used to it.

Hmm...

Well, then you must have
ice water in your veins.

I'm a cop 18 years.

And the stuff
we're seeing out there,

what one truly evil
son of a bitch

can do to another
human being...

I don't know
a single decent person

who could get used to that.

Maybe I misspoke.

Maybe you didn't.

Look at you.

Damn!

You think I'm crazy.

No, I just think you have
the wrong impression of me.

That's all.

OK. Maybe I do.

Check this out.

- Who's that?
- Him?

He's cancer.

He's been eating at me
since I was 10 years old...

when he murdered my father.

You know that's not me, right?

I wasn't even born
when you were, what, 10?

It's impossible, right?

Yeah.

So it's gone.

Forget about it.

Let me buy you one.

I'm gonna hit the head.
Excuse me.

This is incredible.

You actually dropped out
of MIT med school?

Well, no. No, I never
actually enrolled.

So, what, Internet?

You started some
Internet thing.

I hate you.

Me? No, I actually...

I kind of went the other way.

Dude...

"Dude" what?

Nothing. It's just...

I respect it.

That's all.

Look, I'm sorry, man.

No worries, really.

I brought all my personal crap
down on your head, and...

Hey, it was wrong,
professionally.

It was just wrong.
I apologize.

No, honestly, really,
forget about it.

It's no big deal.

It's just... it is.

Are you gonna let me out?

I don't know.
Let's see.

When I saw you the other night,

I said to myself:

"Garrity, you have
got to let this go."

Yeah.

So, just to be sure,
I ran your file.

You know what's in there?

Nothing.

You see, this...

This... doesn't exist.

You're drunk.

Yeah.

You're gonna answer me
one more question.

Who's Celine?

What?

That man who murdered
my father in front of me

had the name "Celine"
tattooed on his chest.

You're insane.

On that, we agree.

Come on. Pick it up.

Excuse me.

We're moving places
all over the house.

On purpose!

Oh! Look at you!
You made friends!

Oh, I love this movie!

Oh, I love this!

Hi, Andrew.

- Ah!
- You OK?

Throat?

No. What? No.
I had a frog in my throat.

OK, OK, we'll go.

Should we do the bathroom again?

No. You're ready.

For what?

No.

So ready.

Just focus.

Like we've been doing.

Wet leaves, chimney smoke...

birds...

the neighbour's dog...

OK?

- Outside?
- Outside.

♪ She don't fade ♪

♪ The ghost in you ♪

♪ She don't fade ♪

♪ Inside you ♪

♪ The time moves
and she don't fade ♪

♪ A race is on
I'm on your side... ♪

Whoa!

Get out of me!

Hang on!
Our matter got tangled.

Jeez!

That was a beautiful moment!

Yeah, until you ruined it!

I don't usually get complaints,

especially not from
the ones looking for it.

- What?
- You know what?

Way too heavy for my blood.
I'm outski.

Yeah, go haunt
a Kix concert, perv.

Lazy days
and better lays, sweetheart.

♪ Inside you ♪

♪ The time moves ♪

♪ And she don't fade ♪

God, don't do that.

So, I'm easy?

That's your grand
impression of me?

What?

Well, Tony's
more Aidan's friend.

You know that, right?

I don't care whose
friend he is, Josh!

I'm engaged!

Was engaged.

Right, but you're
not now, right?

So, if it's been a while,

don't you think we could
all use a rebound ghost?

Really? And when was
the last time you had sex?

I don't know.

If we have to, like,
put a number on this...

I don't need your help,
dry spell.

I had a special friend once.

Demekra.

And then OJ got off.

We never spoke again.

Pick it up.

Stop it!

Stop it!

Let me go!

There are things
you don't understand,

things we all can't understand,
you hear me?

Now, you forget about me.
You forget we ever met.

That's the only resolution
you are ever gonna get here.

Going to work!

Wait, wait, wait! Page.

Mmm...

Thank you!

Hey! Casper,
the handsy ghost!

Not the plan, man.

I'm sorry.

I'm a jerk.

You think?

I've been feeling bad about
the whole grope-and-ditch.

Wow, that's moving.

Sally, do you need a tissue?

Hey, no offence, guy,

but this is kind of
a spirit-world situation.

I don't see a lot of
ghosts like you.

Ones with backbones?

Here's how it goes.

Usually, a ghost
is around just long enough

to have a little fun.

But the longer a ghost
circles the drain,

crazier it goes.

Well, that explains you.

Point is,

a normal ghost that you actually
wanna hang with is rare.

So, what, you...

you want me to help you
pass the time

until you completely nut out?

So, Garrity didn't show
for roll call this morning.

And you look about
4 quarts short of a gallon.

What happened?

He thinks I killed his father.

- Did you?
- I don't know.

He... had a police sketch.

It could have been me.

So apologize.

Oh, you're serious.

Just tell him what I am.
Declare myself.

Hell, declare us all.

Or what?

Lie to him?

Deny him his right to know
how the world really is?

I am surprised at you, Aidan.

I thought your new lifestyle
made you more compassionate.

I told you, I've got it.

Really? Just out
of curiosity, how?

There are other ways.

Mmm. What are you gonna do,
brainwash him?

Make him forget
what you did to his dad?

You really trust yourself
inside this guy's head?

That's funny.

When I do it,
it's brainwashing.

But when you do it
for a cup of tea,

it's, what, seduction.

When was the last time

you compelled anybody
to do anything?

Decades?

You're too weak, Aidan.

You don't even
drink live blood.

You were never that good
at it to begin with,

but do you really think
you're strong enough

to dip in
and pluck out a memory?

What if you wipe him clean?

What if you drive him mad?

You will not put
this family in jeopardy.

I will do whatever I want

whenever I want.

This family...

can go screw themselves.

I love it.

What is this place?

Turn around.

Beautiful, right?

Most of the ghosts I meet,
they don't get it yet,

the whole "dead" thing.

So I show them their graves.

Let it sink in.

I never liked the idea
of taking up space...

rotting away.

But now...

I don't know.

I can see the appeal...

to be in a place
where people can find you.

OK.

So then what?

Normally, I'd quote
a little Slayer

and we'd mac it.

And after that?

A door shows up.
We kiss goodbye.

They cry about
having to leave me.

A door?

Yeah, a portal that
takes you beyond, whatever.

It pops up when
it's time for you to mosey.

Custom-made just for you.

So where's yours?

Don't know. Don't care.

- Really?
- Yeah.

You've been dead since '87

and you have no desire
to move on?

No.

I've been dead 7 months
and I'm going crazy!

Your spirit's blocked.

How do you know?

Banged a Buddhist once.

The point is,
something's holding you back.

Can I try something?

- LT. Hey.
- Hey.

Missed you at the shop today.

Yeah, I...

I must have caught something.

May I come in?

What?

Yeah, sure.

Uh...

Can I get you a drink?

How about a coffee instead?

Sit.

Well, I can't help but notice

you haven't been yourself
the last few days.

What?

No, I'm good.

Well, my point is
that guys like us,

work is family.

And it's easy to
get lost in it,

caught up, consumed.

Hell, it can swallow you whole
if you're not careful.

What's eating at you, Mike?

Bishop...

you believe in monsters?

You know what?

I do.

Where are we?

Danny's old place.

Or new place.
I guess he moved back.

Danny?

My fiancée.

How do I touch him?

- You can't.
- Really?

You and me,
we're on the same plane.

But he's a different
story, solid.

And that doesn't bother you?

I mean, don't you miss someone?

Haven't you ever been in love?

Come on.

I don't believe you.

Nobody lives their whole life
without loving someone.

I didn't live my whole life.

So there's no one
that you wanna go back to?

Even if there was,
you can't go back.

You can watch him
sleep all night.

It's not gonna change anything.

It changes how I feel.

Oh, hey, I got an interview
at Suffolk County.

Yeah, residency.

Oh yeah? That's...

Good for you.

Yeah, isn't that where you...

Isn't that where you do
your orderly thing or...

Uh-huh.

What?

Paint.

What...

What paint?

Neighbourhood watch!

I called the police. Yeah!

You hear that?
I called the police!

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Josh!

Josh, they're on the way, man!

Josh!

Dude...

That kid is a vampire?

How do you know this?

'Cause I'm the one
who turned him.

And I wanna make you
an offer, Michael.

This is exactly what we need.

You're strong.
You're smart.

A soldier.

Let me give you immortality.

Marcus...

Where were you?

Just keeping
the streets of Boston safe

for all the little children.

- You OK?
- Yeah.

Where were you, Ozzfest?

Danny's.

I thought the whole point
of this was to move on.

Don't worry.

I guess I can live
at Danny's now.

I don't want you
to live at Danny's.

What if that's what
I need to do to move on?

OK.

Maybe you're not
trying to move on.

Maybe you're trying to stay.

If I leave, he'll forget me.

If you stay...

he'll forget you.

You're not here.

I'm lonely.

Me too.

It's OK. Hey, it's OK!

It'll be over soon.

You'll go back to your life.

You won't remember this.

You won't remember anything.

Don't scream.

No...

No, no, no, no!
Come on! No!

I'm not turning into it
in the hospital anymore.

Why not?
That room is perfect.

The woods are better.

We're not quite real, are we?

The closer I bring
that side of me to real people,

the more people I seem to hurt.

I can't hurt anybody else.

Some things just need
to stay separate.

Didn't you need to talk to him?

No, I'm good.

You ready?

OK...

So, thanks for
ruining my death.

What's wrong?

You know, before you,
I was fine.

Then you get me thinking
about all this stuff

that I don't need
to be thinking about!

I went to Debbie's.

Debbie?

Debbie Rinaldi,

the stupid love of
my dumb-ass wasted life.

Didn't think about her
once I bit it.

I mean, what's
the point, right?

Closure?

Right.

Twenty-three years.

I finally go
make sure she's happy.

And so?

She's happy.

Great!

Screw closure!

I guess this is it.

Tony...

It's not for me.

How do you know?

I can just feel it.

What the hell
am I supposed to do in there?

Start a hair band, garden...

Just go.

You can touch.

- What?
- Humans.

It's tricky, though.
They gotta be open to it.

They have to want it.

Why didn't you...

I didn't know...

till last night.

I touched her hand.

What was it like?

Blood number 3427.

Blood 3427. Stat.

Hey!

Hey.

- Just did the tour.
- Yeah? Awesome.

Yeah. So you wanna grab
some lunch or something?

Uh, damn, I can't.

Work.

Another time.

Totally.

OK.

Hey.

Who am I?

Superstar!

My apologies.
You were right.

Your way was definitely better.

Far, far more compassionate.

Danny...

- Hey!
- Hi.

- Come on in.
- Thanks for calling.

Bridget?

I miss her, too.

♪ A man in my shoes
runs a light ♪

♪ And all the papers
lied tonight ♪

♪ But falling over you ♪

♪ Is the news of the day ♪

♪ Angels fall ♪

♪ Like rain ♪

♪ And love ♪

♪ Is all of heaven away ♪

♪ Inside you ♪

♪ The time moves ♪

♪ And she don't fade ♪

♪ The ghost in you ♪

♪ She don't fade ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ A race is on
I'm on your side ♪

♪ And here in you
my engines die ♪