Being Human (2011–2014): Season 1, Episode 12 - You're the One That I Haunt - full transcript

Aidan runs into an old friend; Josh and Nora get some good news; Sally's door appears.

Previously on "Being Human"...

I'm pregnant, Josh.

Be gone, unclean spirit.

Exorcism?

NO!

You, I know what you are.

You deserve whatever
she does to you.

Someone has told
the Dutch everything.

Your plan jeopardizes
the existence of us all.

- Change or die.
- Bishop!

Bishop will be so pleased.



I was supposed to die.

You have to finish this.

Prepare for what's coming.

Right before a big storm,

I used to go with
my dad to the harbour...

to look at the clouds...

feel the air.

There's an eerie stillness
before the sky cracks open...

a hush.

You can feel
the storm gathering...

smell the flood on its way.

Oh!

You know, I feel really
awkward walking around

with a bunch of stakes
under my jacket.



You'll feel
a lot less awkward

when some vampire's
ripping into your face.

Yesterday, one fell out,

and I had to explain
to a roomful of nurses

that I was whittling.

That I'd
taken up whittling!

Oh!

Hey!

Can we get you...

anything?

She looks like The Grudge.

- She looks a little rough.
- Rough?

If we videotaped Sally
right now and showed somebody,

they'd be dead
in 3 days.

She was almost exorcized,
she's weak.

She looks like she's
gonna eat our entrails.

It has only been a few days.
She needs time to heal.

She'll be back.

As what?

Don't leave me alo...

So we're... we're gonna, uh...
We're gonna go to work.

And so you just, uh...

Just have a
really nice day.

OK? Have, like,
a "me" day.

And then maybe... maybe
some skin cream.

Uh...

Look, I'm... I'm sorry
about Rebecca, OK?

I know you're
messed up right now.

But if the Dutch are really
as badass as you say they are,

don't you think that
Bishop has hightailed it?

He'd just go underground.

He hasn't left Boston.

How do you know that?

I mean, maybe he's
gone back to Romania

or Slovenia
or Not-Scary Farm.

Boston is Bishop's.
He spent decades ensuring that.

He's not going anywhere.

Maybe he's rebuilding.

Maybe he's meeting
with architects

and interior designers

and he's building a new
green vampire lair.

Maybe he doesn't
care about you at all.

I openly defied him, Josh.
Hegeman, Marcus...

Rebecca.

If he is rebuilding,

he can't do a single thing
if he keeps me around.

No vampire would follow
him if he lets me live.

Let's do an
ego assessment.

Maybe we're thinking of
ourselves too highly.

Listen, if... if Bishop
really does wanna kill you,

why are we at work
and not at home

where he can't
cross the threshold?

That's a brilliant idea.

We'll just stay
in the whole time.

Grey Gardens for the
supernatural. Don't worry.

Whatever he has to
throw at me, I'm ready.

Aidan! What are you doing?

Stop, stop, stop!
Aidan, stop!

Stop it right now!
Let him go.

I'm sorry, sir.

I'm taking him back to
the psyche ward right now.

You do that!

When you know you're
gonna die a violent death,

when that's the only way
you can die...

it's all about the waiting
for that final storm...

if the waiting
doesn't kill you first.

Wait, you're
telling me that

the handyman wasn't in
fact a vampire hit man?

Shhh!

You had me
worried for a sec.

You're not crazy.
You're just a paranoid freak!

The only way you stand
a chance against a being

who is stronger and faster
than you and who loves to kill,

is to assume that everyone
you meet is one of them.

Don't tell me you're
gonna stake the cougar now.

Go on ahead.

♪ The first thing
they tell you ♪

♪ Is to breathe... ♪.

Oh...

Is it your blood that
makes you heal so fast?

The tattoo guy
was wigged out too.

♪ She's a picture you drew... ♪.

Will it stay?

Forever...

literally.

You're insane.

I'll be in the ground,

and you'll still
have my name.

♪ Now all you see is the sun ♪

♪ Moon and stars ♪

I want you to.

No.

I trust you.

Celine...

You can't trust a...

vampire.

Not completely.

You'll stop.

I know you'll stop.

I got super lightheaded
and chucked it in trauma.

Yeah, I think I may
have mopped that up.

People are gonna start
to think I'm pregnant,

which I am.

Look, I think I'm
even starting to show,

which I can't be.

Whoa!

You should say you
don't see anything.

Are you supposed
to get sick this early?

Oh, I don't know! I've never
been pregnant before.

Look, I can deal
with this pregnancy,

but I can't deal with you
melting down and this pregnancy.

If you want out,
you gotta tell me now.

I... This is the time.

I'm here.

OK?

So...

you're keeping it?

I don't... don't
know what I wanna do.

I'm not getting an abortion
today, that much I know.

No, that's good,

'cause I'm... I'm working
this afternoon.

And my, um,

my HCG levels are elevated.

To be accurate,
they're off the charts.

What does...
What does that mean?

It could indicate multiple
fetuses or a birth defect.

I scheduled an ultrasound
for this afternoon.

So hopefully,
you can make it.

There are more tests.
We'll figure out what it is.

Ow...

Bitch!

Still using that pretentious
old-school razor, Danny?

So dangerous.

What if you cut yourself?

Ah!

That's what it feels like...

to die.

Groovy.

This can't be happening.

I have spent
the last 2 hours

trying to figure out
a way to, uh, show myself

without giving you
a heart attack.

Although, this is
an awesome place to be

if you do have one.

For a moment,
I thought you were a ghost.

Maybe a deathbed visitation.

Wait, wait, wait.
Oh, you're not...

Sorry.

I should have found a more
politic way to say it.

Dying has made
me very blunt.

What's wrong?

It's otherworldly.

You're exactly the same...

minus the tragic sideburns.

Uh, OK, are you gonna
tell me what's wrong,

or do I have to abuse my
considerable lack of authority

and steal your file?

I had lung cancer years ago.

And I guess it couldn't
live without me.

It's back.

All over.

Well, who's your doctor?

Dr. Corjo?
Because he's the best.

I'm not here for treatment,
just morphine.

No more chemo, radiation.

I don't wanna eke out

another 6 or 9 months
retching and sleeping.

Mm-mmm.

Whatever's left,
I wanna live it.

I haven't even
told my daughter yet.

She thinks I'm
getting treated here.

- Your daughter?
- Yeah.

That's why I'm in Boston.
She lives here.

Wha...

Congratulations.
Um, I'm so happy for you.

You know what I mean.

Mm-hmm.

And what about you?

Who's the new girl?

And don't tell me
there isn't one.

It's over.

Even your voice.

You still sound
like you're 25.

You could be one of
my daughter's boyfriends.

Which makes me
the matronly mom.

This is criminal.
I used to be younger than you.

You're still beautiful.

Take this.
Protect yourself.

No, no, it's OK.

- I don't wanna hurt you.
- You won't.

So, Boston.

This is the last place
where I thought you'd be.

Put your hand there.
Are you OK?

Yeah.

I'm gonna get that.
All right.

OK. Ah...

There you are.

What are you doing here?

It's funny. I was gonna
ask you the same thing.

Aidan, who's there?

Oh, are you thirsty?
I'm thirsty.

It's been a grueling trip.

I don't suppose you'll,
uh, have her invite me in?

Oh, you're not
setting foot in here.

You had no right
to track me down.

What was I
supposed to do?

You're taking
a vacation, you said.

You need a little
time to yourself.

Next thing I know,
5 years go by,

and you're nowhere to be found
on the Eastern Seaboard.

And? You don't
control me anymore.

I'm free, remember?

Come on, Aidan.

What are you doing?
Montreal? Her?

Come on, I promised

that we were gonna build
something bigger than us.

Come home
and let's build it.

I'm not coming back.

Celine, is it?

- Well, that's my business.
- Like Jane was my business?

Look, that was
20 years ago.

And I remember it
like it was yesterday.

You're walking on
a thread, aren't you?

You're trying as
hard as you can

not to bite a chunk
out of her,

drain her dry while she's
lying there next to you in bed?

Hey, I tried that
for years with Jane,

and it feels like your insides
are being stripped into meat.

And for what?

To wake up one morning
in a bed full of blood?

Your concern
is touching, really.

Oh, you think you
can control yourself? OK.

I'm all for freewill, man.
This is America.

This is still the
land of opportunity.

But it's your nature, man.

That still, quiet voice inside
you that wants what it wants.

Come on, it's time.

Come home.

I could have
decapitated him.

You're back!

Oh my God!

This is great.

No more zombie Sally.

I think it was slitting
Danny's throat open that did it.

Brought me back.

What?

You saw how weak I was.

After the exorcism,
I thought I was gonna blow away.

And then I
saw him... shaving.

He was so smug.

And I wanted to kill him.

If I had just
cut a little deeper,

if I had a little
more control...

Whoa!

Hey.

You sound like you're
interning for Hannibal Lecter.

You think
this is a joke?

I'm finally
figuring this out.

I cut Danny open

and then I was back, 100%.

It felt so good.

One shove while he's
waiting for the T.

One swipe on the wheel
while he's driving.

No!

Why is everyone
so kill-happy?

We gotta leave Montreal
as soon as possible, today.

Is this you trying
to keep the romance alive?

The guy at the door,
that was Bishop.

What?

Celine, come on!
Get ready now!

What about my family?

It's better if they
don't know, for them.

Or what? You mean
Bishop would kill them?

I'm gonna take
care of you, I promise.

No, no, no! I don't
wanna be taken care of!

Just turn me!
Then Bishop can't hurt me.

And you won't
have to be so careful.

I don't want
that life for you.

You want me to
throw away my life

and follow you
God knows where!

And for how long?

Until you turn me in
for the younger model.

You don't think a part
of me wants to turn you?

Listen, it takes everything
I have not to feed and kill.

There are days where all
I can think about is blood.

I don't want you
to have to fight that

or give into it,
because you would.

You would hate me
if I turned you.

You'd hate yourself.

No, I only get one life.

You get dozens, hundreds!

And you want me to give
the best part to you.

I can't spend my life
running away from him.

I deserve better than that.

I need some time to think.

Yeah, you know what?
Take your time.

Cool off.

I gotta go get some things,
but I am coming back for you.

At 7:00, you can yell
at me on the train.

But whatever you do,
don't leave the apartment.

Don't tell
me what to do.

Celine, I'm just
telling you

what you need to
do to be safe.

He can't...

Please, wait for me.

I don't know.

I don't know anymore.

Celine, I am
coming back.

I'm coming back.

Please...

♪ I have never felt ♪

♪ What I feel for you ♪

♪ But I feel as
though I know you ♪.

Hey...

So it's official.

Nora's gonna have
a litter of were-babies.

You have to stop this.

No, there's medical
confirmation now, man.

I mean, her... her hormone
levels are all whacked out.

I'm gonna have to
tell her what I am

and convince her
not to have...

Werewolves are made,
not born.

Are you delusional?

I mean, do you personally
know any werewolves

who've procreated?

Whose offspring
you've... you've examined

and know not to be
m-monsters or deformed?

Are you happy with her?

Yes.

Yes, which is why
I wanna kill myself,

because I've
ruined her life!

Well, then you need
to hold onto that,

the good part,
what you and Nora have.

The rest you can
work out when it comes.

Oh, and Sally's, like,
full-on murder ghost now.

- Hey, Jenny.
- Hey.

It... it's OK.

- Josh!
- Oh my God!

Josh!

What do I do?
What do I do?

Stake her
in the heart.

Hey, guys, it's Danny.
I'm out of town for a few days.

What, did I scare you? Good.

You've got my cell.

Now you know how it feels,
you sick, murdering, piece of...

Guys?

Guys?

I'm right here, killer.

And guess what...

I'm better than ever.

Sally?

She told me how
to get rid of you.

The medium.

You tried to kill me?

Show your face!

I wanna see you scream.

All right.

Whoa, what are you doing?

You can't haunt our house
if there is no house.

You're gonna burn down
our house? Seriously?

Danny!

Come on, get out!
Just leave!

Come on!

Get out, Danny!

Oh my God! No!

No! No!

Danny... No...

No...

Stop it!

Get out!

Danny!

If you're lighting up
this house,

you're going down with it!

Oh crap!

Maybe this is the best way.

We both go...

end this craziness.

But not before
I torch your nuts

and shove them
down your throat.

- What the hell?
- Sally!

He's trying to kill me, again.

Aidan, it's Sally!

You know how long
I've wanted to do that?

Are you done, my friend?

Are you OK?

You can see her?

Sally?

We can see her
because we're like her.

What?

Ahh!

No, no, no, wake up.

Wake up.

Don't do it!

He deserves it!

Don't he?

Sally, if you kill him,
he'll be here forever.

He'll haunt you!
Please!

I'll never come back!

He's lying!
He will never leave you alone!

Listen, I know what
it feels like to kill someone.

You cannot live it down!

It doesn't matter!
I'm already dead!

You can have the house!
I'll give it to you! Please!

We've all killed here,

except for you.

We've all killed someone.

Do not do this.

You don't want to do this.

Unh...

No one deserves to die
more than you do.

And nobody deserves
to kl l you more than I do.

But I'm not like you.

Sally...

You didn't just get saved.

What you're gonna get,

you're gonna pray and cry

and wish you were dead.

Ah...

what happened.

What do you want me to say?
I did it.

I tried burning down my house,
my tenants' house.

Tell them why
you're really here.

But actually, um...

I killed my fiancée...

in the house.

And when did this happen?

My fiancée, Sally,
she's haunting me.

She's gonna kill me,

her and the guys
who live here...

if I don't turn myself in.

OK, son.

It's OK.

You're safe with us.

We'll get it all sorted out
down at the Station.

Josh...

Do you think Sally's OK?

I don't know.
I think she's relieved.

And Danny?
You think he's OK, too?

I mean, should we
send him something?

I'm joking.

I can't believe I'm getting
that look from you right now.

You know that...

You know that
I wasn't gonna kill him.

Yes, you were.

- For Sally.
- Mmm.

Maybe a bit because of some
stuff I've been going through.

- There it is. Yeah.
- But mostly for Sally.

When exactly
do you think

we should have
a conversation with her

about her taste in men?

There's gotta be some
nice dead dudes out there.

You know,
Sally's gonna be fine.

She doesn't need you and me

hovering over her shoulder
with dating advice, either.

Why? Is that because
I'm sitting here

waiting for a doctor
to tell me whether or not

I've impregnated my girlfriend
with a mutated wolf baby?

- Ha-ha!
- Whoa!

Caught you talking
about me, huh?

No, no, no.

He's freaking out
about the fact

that he knocked me up
in the break room

the one and only time
we had sex.

Uh...

It's fine. It's fine.

I get that you would
tell your roommate.

Yeah, no,
thank you for that.

But I didn't tell him
about the break room.

And I didn't tell him
about the singular-sex part.

Oh.

Congratulations.

Thank you, Aidan.

- Um...
- Thank you.

I should go.

We were just
talking about...

- Josh, seriously, it's fine!
- I know.

It's normal!

Ah man...

What I wouldn't give
for normal.

I'd give my life
to be normal.

Celine...

you asked me
so many times, and...

I think I'm finally ready.

You don't have to die.

You will never be sick,
ever, or weak.

It's like raw electricity
running through your veins.

Imagine the strongest
that you've ever felt,

the most vital,
the fastest,

and double it, triple it
times 10, times 20.

You'd turn me?

You could've asked
earlier, you know?

When I was 20 and
wanted sex 12 times a day!

But you have had
a life a and a family,

and you can make
a better decision

than when you were 20.

Is this about the girl?
The one who didn't work out?

I'm not trying
to replace her.

I...

Just, I wanna help you.

Who was I to say no to you?

I just wanna
give you something.

You do look different.

I can see it now.

It's in your eyes.

They're... deeper.

Older.

I wanted to see
who Simone marries.

That's my daughter.

Hmm.

If she gets married.

I wanna see her kids,

if they have
her black hair...

But if I see them...

I'll see them grow old
and sick and die,

and Simone, too.

Ah...

I think I had my time.

I had fun when I could.

Why weren't you there...

when I came back for you?

I don't blame you.

I just...
I just wanna know,

after all this time.

What is this?

You don't remember?

We ran into each other
on the road,

you silly girl,
leaving her apartment like that.

Where am I?

In a safe place.

A quiet place.

Ahh!

Dammit!

What did you give me?

Did you turn me?

Oh no, no, no,
we just talked...

mostly.

Where's Aidan?

You don't have
to worry about

turning your life upside down
for him anymore.

That's over.

You said
you had a great time.

Ahh...

I'm not gonna
give up on him!

Ahh!

This isn't about
you and Aidan.

You are nothing.

You're a fly with
the lifespan of a fly.

If he really loved you,

if he really thought
you were his equal,

he woul've turned you
like I did him.

My blood is his blood.
He always comes back.

Y-you mean he's always
leaving you.

and you always have to
drag him back.

Unh!

I hope you're not
going to the station.

Or, say, Canada.

That train left
a long time ago.

He'll hate you forever.

No, you'll hate me forever,

and Aidan will never know.

To him, you'll always be

this little French
what's-her-name

who left when
the going got tough.

I'll never
keep your secrets.

Hmm...

What about your family, Celine?

Would you keep
my secrets for them?

It's tiresome,

but I'll kill them
if I have to.

No!

No!

Kill me instead.

No.

No thank you.

I like this.

This is good.

You can tell me.

I was so young...

headstrong...

It was such a long time ago.

You should be celebrating.

You said Bishop's gone now.

I thought that...

I was afraid because
I was waiting for him to...

kill me.

But I'm afraid of myself...

of...

who I will be
without him to hate.

The past 40 years,

everything that I've done

was me trying to not be... him.

Everything you did
was because you wanted to,

good or bad.

Hanging it on Bishop,
that's a cop out.

Wow. Is this what
you're like with your daughter?

Tough love?

Oh, Aidan...

We were happy.

Figure out
how to do it again.

That's what you can give me.

Oh...

What is it?

This is why your
hormone levels are abnormal.

You're a little over
14 weeks, not 7.

What?

No, no, that's not right.

It can't be.

Is there something
wrong with it?

Take a look for yourself.

Fetus looks great.

Ah...

Excellent growth.

I'll see you in a month.

Thank you.

She's gotta be wrong
about the dates, but...

you totally impregnated me...

with a tiny huge-headed alien.

To our future couch...

brought to you by Sally,

who is finally free.

And to Dad, say goodbye to
your life for the next 18 years.

Oh my God!

Um, I don't even know
what I'm gonna do with myself

now that Danny's gone.

Oh, me neither,
because, you know,

that saga occupied
a lot of my free time.

I'm gonna go back
to med school.

Part-time.

- Ah...
- I can do that.

I wanna do something
for this kid.

I don't want him, or her,

to think that Dad is
a bed-pan refresher, you know?

- I do.
- Yeah.

And that's awesome.

But, please, drink your martini
before it evaporates.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

Ahh...

Oh crap...

Oh my God...

How long has that
been there for?

You did it.

Um, that's not exactly what
I thought it would look like,

just hanging there.

Is that crazy?

Like, Tony's door was just in
the middle of the cemetery,

which was also weird.

- But this is like...
- Sally.

I know.
It's just all so sudden.

I'm not mentally prepared.

You've been waiting for this.

You've earned it.

I mean, how many ghosts
even get justice, right?

Except for that chick
from The Lovely Bones.

I wish I could
take you two with me.

I guess we all go
eventually, right?

See you in 60 years.

Give or take.

Do you know what's there?

On the other side?

Send us pictures.

Ahh!

Oh my...
Oh my God! Aidan!

Oh my God!
Oh my God! Aidan!

Oh my God!

Hang in there, man!

You're gonna be all right!

You're gonna be OK!

Aidan! Aidan!
Look at me!

Look at me! Look at me!

Stay with us!
Come on, man!

You're OK!
You're OK!

You're OK! You're OK!

Aidan! Aidan!

Aidan! Aidan!

♪ I was looking ♪

♪ For my hometown ♪

Aidan! Aidan!

♪ I was desperate in ♪

♪ The midnight hour ♪

♪ I needed sleep ♪