Being Erica (2009–2011): Season 3, Episode 5 - Being Adam - full transcript

Previously on "being Erica":

A couple of weeks ago
I found a lump in my breast.

I went to the doctor,
they took a biopsy,

and it came back
positive.

For cancer, Erica.

I have breast cancer.

Dr. Tom:
This is the next phase
of your journey as a patient.

What about the regrets?

What about my list?
What about time travel?

Is there any of that?

So, what are you?
A thief?



I was an enforcer
for a loan shark.

An enforcer.
And that means that you...?

Beat up people
or took their shit

if they couldn't pay.

Pretty good.

My younger brother John
was in jail

and I, I was, uh...

I was on the job.

Any problems?

Nothing major.

Good.
'Cause I have another job.

Ungh!

The guy owed me money.

He owed a lot of people money.



Ungh!

What are you doing
running?

I got this back.
Everything's okay.

Everything's not okay,
Darryl.

This regret isn't about
getting your Discman back,

it's about standing up
to those guys

who took it
in the first place.

I can't do it, Adam.

I know I'm supposed to,
but I just... I can't.

You can't?

You're physically
and emotionally unable

to step out there
and stand up for yourself?

Really?

Please don't make me
do this.

I can't make you do anything,
Darryl.

This is going to hurt.

Hey, assholes!

You looking for me?

♪

So? How was it?

Great.

Really scary and painful
towards the end,

but great.

I couldn't have done it
without this guy.

You did all
the heavy-lifting.

Wait,
was that modesty?

Darryl's go-to place
is to play the victim.

No offense.

No, it's true.

Even after all the work
I've done, it's like...

In moments of stress,

that old, weak voice inside
rears its head.

And that's gonna keep
happening, my friend.

You can't outrun your demons.

Well then,
what's the point?

The point is to limit
their power

by recognizing them
for what they are:

Just voices inside your head,

telling you what you can
and can't do.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Well, unless someone else
has something to add,

I think we're done here
for the day.

Actually, I was just thinking
that Darryl's regret

kinda reminded me
of that issue

you were having
with your boss, Rebecca.

We could explore that.

Yeah, we could,

or I could get back
to my birthday party.

Keener.

Agh.
You guys are just slackers.

I'm a slacker who needs
to get back to work.

Bye, everybody.

Bye.
Well, no parties for me.

I've got a hot date
with a Blu-Ray manual

I'm editing.

What about you?
Big plans tonight?

Every night.

Well...
See ya soon, Doc.

Good night, Adam.

They say we manifest
our intentions;

that we choose how we live.

But when life doesn't turn out
the way you'd hoped,

it makes you stop and wonder.

Did you ever really have
a choice,

or is this just the way
it was meant to be?

How much of our lives
can we choose,

and how much
is just who we are?

♪ Being Erica 3x05 ♪
Being Adam
Original Air Date on October 20, 2010

♪ it's clearer inside of me ♪

♪ who I will always be ♪

♪ open me up to my heart ♪

♪ feels like I'm seeing
in the dark ♪

♪ waking me up to my heart ♪

♪ to do it all over ♪

♪ again and again ♪

♪ until the end ♪

♪ the sum of my dreams ♪

♪ and everything
I ever wanted to be ♪

- Hey.
- Adam.

That looks good.

I like how the spacing
between the plants

plays off the rocks.

It's nicely laid out.

Thanks.

You've got an eye for this,
Adam.

A real talent.

I wish I could say the same
about these guys.

Thanks.
I like the work.

And it shows.

So how long 'til
you move on, Adam?

How do you mean?

I keep waiting for you
to start your own business

and become my competition.

It's never gonna happen.

No? Why not?

Well, you know...

I'm 34,
getting up there.

Warren Buffet didn't
make his first million

'til he was 32.

See? I'm already two years
too late.

Yeah, so,
I better get down there

and make sure he doesn't
hurt himself, yeah?

Uh, yeah.

John.

Hope you don't mind.

You won't return my calls,
so...

I thought I'd drop in.

And don't worry,
I just picked the lock,

I didn't break it.

What are doing here?

I can't come and visit
my brother?

Hastings is dead, Adam.

He's dead?

The wake's today.

Was it an accident
or did someone get to him?

No, he had a heart attack,

right in front of me.

Shit.

Yeah.

Oh, man, I'm...
I'm sorry.

Me too.

Look, the wake's at Morrison's.

You gonna be there?

Can't.

I figured this was
a waste of time.

It's not a good idea.

The man made you.

I thought maybe you'd wanna
pay him some respect.

I wish I could.

Well, it's your choice.

But he have wanted you there.

Mom's had these since the '70s.

Oh no,
no soy products.

No sketchy plastic cups.

Only organic meat,
and milk,

and fruits
and vegetables...

And smoke.
Erica!

Oh... shit!

No!

Hey, mom.

Why is my kitchen
a disaster area?

We thought we'd clean the house
for you.

Which we did.

And...

We thought we'd make dinner
for you.

Which we tried to.

What's in this box?

Oh, mom,
those are ancient.

They're probably leaching
all kinds of chemicals.

You girls drank kool-aid
out of them for years.

Yeah,
and look at us, hm?

Oh, I picked those up
from the hospital today.

We hold this great
breast cancer support group.

A support group?

Mm-hm.

Well, thank you,
girls,

but I don't think
I need a support group.

Okay, well,
if you change your mind,

all the info's
right there.

Look, mom, why don't you sit
and relax,

and we'll put dinner
on the table.

Uh, here's a thought.

Why don't we go out to eat
instead?

No. You've been running around
all day.

And I'll be fine if I'm out
for a couple more hours.

Ma, I don't think
that we need-

what?

I have cancer,
not a heart condition.

Yeah, okay.
Let's just...

We'll get cleaned up
and we will go out.

Okay.

I told you to put it at 375.

I did.

You put it up...

Hey.
Hey. What're you
doing here?

We had plans.

Did we?

You forgot.

Typical.
You always forget.

Doesn't matter.
You're here now.

Stop.

Adam,
I want to talk.

I don't feel like
talking.

♪ Now I got her in the flow ♪

♪ I'm just saying baby,
give me more ♪

♪ and I don't even know ♪

♪ I got her feeling nice,
I got her in a daze ♪

♪ a little bit of love
go a whole lotta way ♪

♪ says she likes how I play ♪

♪ and I love what she say ♪

♪ don't talk,
just kiss me, baby, now ♪

♪ don't talk,
just kiss me, baby, now ♪

♪ don't talk,
just kiss me, baby ♪

♪ just kiss me, baby,
just kiss me, baby, now ♪

♪ don't talk,
just kiss me, baby, now ♪

♪ don't talk,
just kiss me, baby, now ♪

♪ don't talk,
just kiss me, baby ♪

♪ just kiss me, baby
just kiss me, baby, now ♪

I gotta go.

Mm, I don't think I can
let that happen.

I don't think
you have a choice.

Oh...

Always with the games,
Jess.

That shit doesn't work on me.

I came over today to tell you
that this has to stop.

That's why you came over,
is it?

No. Adam.

Jess.

Look, I can't keep
doing this forever.

I'm not talking forever.

I know.
You never talk forever.

Look, we always knew
this wasn't gonna last.

You don't want a relationship
and that's fine.

I'm just...

I'm just saying

I've reached a point
where I want more.

It's cool.
You do what you gotta do.

Bye.

So we're trying to lose
the cops.

Hastings hits the corner
so fast,

he flips the car
onto the roof.

So we're sitting there,

strapped in, upside down,

and he turns to me
and he says,

"see, that's why
I don't drink and drive.

This shit's hard enough
as it is."

Now, I think big Frenchie

has a few words
he'd like to say.

Well...

Hastings always said,

"if it's got tits or tires,

sooner or later it's bound
to give you trouble."

Changed your mind.

I wanted to pay
my respects.

You can speak
after Frenchie's done.

I wasn't planning
on saying anything.

Come on...
It'll make 'em happy.

Just go up there

and crack a few jokes
about the man.

It's no big deal.

Big Frenchie:
...Never give handshake
that wasn't square.

I don't know if boss
was a religious man,

but I hope someone
is looking out for him

like he was looking out
for us.

To my friend,
to Hastings.

Here, here! Hastings!

Big Frenchie:
Adam.

Hey, Frenchie.

Hello, everyone.

It's been a couple years
since I've seen Hastings.

There was a...
A lot of resentment there.

He resented me
for abandoning him

and I resented him
for bringing me into this life

in the first place.

But intentions
and everything else aside,

Hastings was always there
for me.

Let's face it,

most of us here don't have
anyone looking out for us.

He wasn't perfect,
but he backed me up

and he taught me
a hell of a lot.

For that,
I'll always be grateful.

To Hastings!

To Hastings.

That's good, French,
thanks.

Big Frenchie:
Come on, Adam, spill.

You always had something
going on.

I remember Frenchie practically
lived off your cast-offs.

I broke up with a girl today,
French.

Too bad you weren't around.
I woulda introduced you.

See? That's what
I'm talkin about.

Ain't been the same
since you left.

Yeah,

'cause Frenchie hasn't
got laid since you left.

Adam, we're heading to Jilly's.
You coming?

No, I can't.

I gotta work
in the morning.

Oh, we all gotta work
in the morning.

Come on.

It's one drink.
Good to catch up.

It's up to you, Adam.

All right.
Why not?

Took it down to the track
the other day.

Got it up to two forty.

Zero to a hundred
in four and a half seconds.

That's pretty sweet.

What're you driving
these days?

Big ol' stretch streetcar.

Thinking of getting
a bicycle.

Bullshit.

Big Frenchie:

Something funny,
Frenchie?

'Cause you look like you
could use some exercise.

I don't know how
you gave it all up.

What're you doing again?

Gardening work.
General labour stuff.

Ah, sounds like minimum wage
to me.

Well then, maybe I should
just come back and take over.

I mean, that was always
Hasting's plan, right?

Johnny, you never did have
a sense of humour.

Don't worry so much.

Frenchie and Curtis:

Youse coming or what?

What're we doing here?

I have to get
some smokes.

At Eddie's?

You couldn't stop
anywhere else?

You don't need a bat
for Eddie.

Tell him that.

Shithead doesn't
listen to me.

John,
I came out for a drink,

not to beat the crap
out of someone.

You want to spare Eddie
a beating?

Then go in there.

He'll shit a brick
just seeing you,

and then he'll pay up.

Oh, there goes my brother,

turning his back
and walking away.

Again.

Eddie's on your conscience.

What're you doing?

What am I doing?
Yeah.

Hastings was grooming you,
Adam,

because you're scary.

Because you make
the rest of us

look like goddamned
boy scouts.

And you can live
in a shithole,

and plant all the pretty
flowers you want,

but it's not gonna change
who you really are.

Now get in there
and do what you do best.

See?

Not so different after all,

are ya?

What happened back there?

I should never've gone back.

Not to the wake,
not for a drink.

You're being too hard
on yourself.

We all take steps back.

And it's not like your brother

didn't just totally
provoke you.

Just to be
the devil's advocate...

I'm kinda wondering
why you got so angry.

It wasn't obvious?

It's because John,
he touched a nerve, right?

And I just think that
it's important to understand

why his words,
they held so much power.

He was trying to get me riled
and it worked.

Yeah, but why?

I don't know why.

Because he was being
an asshole.

Dr. Tom:
Adam, why don't you tell us
about "the boss from hell."

You're joking me?

Dr. Tom:
No, I don't joke
about these things.

Today?

It's the regret that screwed up
my whole life.

And you had to wait until now
to throw it at me?

Because you haven't
been ready...

Until now.

So, please.

Um...

I was twenty-one
and I couldn't get a job.

So my dad called in
some favours.

Sean, my boss,

he had it in for me
from day one.

Hated my guts.

Every day,
yelling in my face,

over and over again.

Until one day...
I snapped.

The guy was pretty messed up.

I got six months
and I came out full of hate.

People knew what I'd done,
word had gotten around.

No one would hire me,

except Hastings.

And so I signed up,

brought my little brother
into it,

and the rest
is my sick history.

And?
If you could go back?

I would walk away from Sean,
instead of hitting him.

But that would change
everything, Dr. Tom,

and I know that's
not how this works.

Well, why don't you let me
worry about how this works.

What the hell's the matter
with you?!

And I don't want to hear
your whining!

You're the most useless
piece of shit

I ever had working for me!

Sorry, boss.

My five year-old daughter
could do a better job.

Why don't you
take a breather

and come back
in about 15 minutes.

'Cause I don't take orders
from you.

Okay, look, Sean...

You're losing it
over nothing here.

I'm trying to do my job
the best that I can.

If that's your best,
then go!

Go!

You're firing me?

Yes, genius,
I'm firing you!

You're fired!

Adam and John:

Adam, what're you doing?

I'm trying to clean
the mess up here.

It's always a mess.

I thought you were
working today.

I was.

'Til that asshole fired me.

Shit.
Dad got you that job.

I know, John.

Don't you worry
about dad, okay?

Hey, you want me to call
Jer and Eric?

The four of us
go down there tonight

and kick the shit
out of him.

No, Johnny,
I don't.

Why not?
He fires you for no reason.

Turn the other cheek.

Didn't you listen to anything
Father O'Leary said to you

in Sunday School?

Nah, I was too busy
trying to figure out

how to corrupt
Rosetta Notarianni.

To the Fitzpatrick brothers,
the toughest...

Best-looking irish
in moss park.

Mm, mm...

Lunch is on me.

No, John.

Yes.
You got fired today.

Let me do this for you.

Buy you lads a drink?

One of my boys, Frenchie -
know him?

I know of him.

Tells me that you
and Sean Foran

had words today...

And now you're out of a job.

I have work.

Pays better than anything
you're likely to get.

I'm honoured, but, uh...

I don't think I'm what
you're looking for.

Let me be the judge
of that.

No disrespect,
but uh...

I can't accept your offer.

Your choice.

Enjoy the beer.

Oh, and say hi to your dad
for me.

Do you know
what you just turned down?

What a darling
little place.

Mom! Is that top new?

Yes!
Yes, I bought it today.

The salesgirl talked me
into it,

and I'm glad she did.

Barb!

I'm so happy
to see you again.

Your hair's gorgeous.

Barbara and Julianne:
Muah!

And so is your top.
Ooh-la-la!

Thank you.

Hi, I'm Ivan,
and I love your decleavage.

Decolletage!

I'm sorry.
I failed high school French.

Oh, uh... I'm gonna go
make you that cosmo.

Make yourselves comfortable,

and feel free to entertain us
with a song.

It's karaoke night.

Oooh!

Oh, karaoke!
Oh, how fun.

Should we sing something?

No chance.

No way.
I am not singing.

Sam?

Sure, but maybe you should
put your wrap back on.

Uh-uh, tut-tut-tut,
chicken little.

Your mother looks faboo.

Thank you.

I figure
as long as you've got it...

Flaunt it!

And I will sing
whatever you want.

Just no Britney.

It's a deal.

Our mother
the exhibitionist.

That top is crazy, right?

Erica?

Yeah. Um, do you...
Do you want some wine?

I'm gonna go grab us
a bottle.

Sure.

Did you come to sing
a duet?

Uh, no.

But I was wondering
if you could spare some time.

To help Adam.

Yeah, can I get two
rye and ginger,

and a couple shots
of Tequila, please.

There you go!

Wow.
That's quite the outfit.

It wasn't exactly
my choice.

Whatever.
It suits you.

Mm!

So you here
to check up on me?

Dr. Tom, he didn't tell me
what I'm supposed to do,

or say, but...

He did tell me
to follow my gut, so.

Well.
What's your gut telling you?

That big hair
is not my friend.

And I am the one
that's supposed

to be asking
the questions.

Sorry, doc.

Okay. So?
How is it going?

Good. Yeah.

I'm hanging out
with my brother

back before
he became an asshole

and it's been fun,

and kinda tough to see him
like this, but...

But what?

In my original time line,

I was rotting away
in a prison cell at this stage.

But this time
i didn't hit my boss,

I blew off Hastings...

Technically,
I've avoided the things

that led me to become a criminal
in the first place.

So now what?

Pfft! That's what I'm trying
to figure out.

Okay.
This might be something:

Your life,
it's a blank slate now.

I mean this history
you're creating,

it's all new,
so anything is possible, right?

I suppose, technically.

No. It is.

I mean, you didn't commit
a crime, so you can...

You can go out
and you can do whatever it is

that you wanna do.

That's not how this works,
Erica.

We don't go back
to rewrite our lives.

I think that
you're over-thinking it.

I'm just stating the facts.

Okay, the last time
that we did this,

you helped me figure out
how to live in the present,

right?
Yeah.

I think that you should
take your own advice

and stop focusing on
what you "can't" do

and what the rules are

and just, you know,
spend today

the way you wish you could've
the first time around.

John,

pile the dirt high
so that when it settles

the plant's not exposed,
yeah?

How do you know
how to do all this stuff?

You didn't steal these plants,
I hope.

Do you like the garden, ma,
or no?

I'm not weeding it.

So what do you think?

Looks good.

This is my kind of work.

We should start
our own company.

Fitzpatrick Brothers
Landscaping.

You two in business together?

The blind leading the blind.

I'm gonna go get supper.

Don't track any mud in
with you.

What the hell'd you say
to Sean?

Dad, he was looking
for any excuse to fire me.

You know how many favours
I pulled to get you that job?

You couldn't hold onto it
for even a week?

How do you think
that makes me look?

Dad...

Oh!

Jesus!

Did I mess up
your pretty garden?

Eh, I got two lazy faggots
for sons now?

Come on.

That's the last time
you'll touch me.

Do you hear me,
you sack of shit?

Get off me!

Are you done?

I said are you done?!

Yes!

Adam?

Breakfast is ready.

Are you gonna give daddy a kiss?

Can you take Amelia
for a sec?

Do you want some coffee?

Sure. Yeah.
Coffee would be good.

Hey.

Listen, UBC has offered me
a guest lectureship

for the fall.

And I'm thinking that you
should come to Vancouver

with me and Amelia.

Hi, Amelia.

Take two weeks off.

You need a vacation,
Adam.

So can you do it,
or not?

Sorry?

Have you been listening
to anything I just said?

Vancouver, this fall...

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I just, uh...

I just feel
a little strange.

Like sick strange,
or...?

No... um...

Adam?

I don't know.

I don't know what's wrong
with me.

It's... here.

Just take... take Amelia.

I think you need a break.

Maybe you should get John
to run things for a while.

If you work too hard,

you're gonna make
yourself sick.

Hello?

It's John.
We got a problem.

Y-yeah, sure.

Um...
Where are you again?

Pape and Strathcona.

Okay.

Okay,
I'll see you in a bit.

I gotta go.

Do you want me
to drive you?

No, no, I'm fine,
I just, uh...

Have you seen my keys?

You're sure you're okay?

Yeah.

Yeah.

♪ You may find yourself ♪

♪ living in a shotgun shack ♪

♪ and you may find yourself ♪

♪ in another part
of the world ♪

♪ and you may find yourself ♪

♪ behind the wheel
of a large automobile ♪

♪ and you may find yourself
in a beautiful house ♪

♪ with a beautiful wife ♪

♪ and you may ask yourself,
well... ♪

♪ how did I get here? ♪

♪ letting the days go by ♪

♪ let the water hold me down ♪

♪ letting the days s go by ♪

♪ water flowing underground ♪

♪ into the blue again... ♪

Adam?

You okay?

Bea called,
said you weren't feeling well.

Uh, no, I'm fine.

Just, uh...

Just slept badly.

What's the problem?

Well, you see on
our plans here

the whole area's wet

soon as the boys
started digging.

We're basically trying to put
crush run into a pond.

Yeah,
it's right there.

Show me where
you're talking about.

Uh...

Okay, so here's your problem.

The front of the property drains
into the street here.

So, if we lay weeping tile
along here,

run it right into
the flower bed there,

and then dig a pit there,

say three foot wide
and a couple of feet deep.

You can fill it up
with the small stones

from that wheelbarrow.

The pea gravel?

Yeah.

Yeah, then throw some
landscaping fabric over it

to keep it from clogging,

and put a rock garden
on top.

Sounds good.
I'll get the guys on it.

Okay.

All right...

Mmm... you worked late again.

Yeah, yeah, we had...

We had some problems.

Come to bed.

What's wrong?

I'm just...

I'm still feeling
a bit odd.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Poor baby,
you're so stressed out.

Yeah.

Let's just get some sleep,
okay?

Okay.

Actually,
I'm just gonna go

and get a glass of water,
okay?

Okay.

Dr. Tom:
You can't sleep, huh?

Why're you doing this
to me?

Dr. Tom:
I'm not doing anything.

I'm just showing you
the result of your choices.

Yeah,
choices I didn't make.

The first time around.

The first time around
is the only time that counts.

This life isn't real.

The woman in there
who I don't remember marrying,

the child
I don't remember having...

None of it is real.

And I don't care
what you say,

we both know I don't get to keep
any of it.

"It is our imagination

that transforms itself
into reality."

Helen Araromi.

Oh. That's great.
You want a quote Dr. Tom?

How about "you make your bed,
you lie in it."

That's reality.

I made a choice
to beat a man to a pulp

and I have to live
with the consequences

of that choice.

Well, if that's the way
you feel,

who am I to stand
in your way?

Put your goddamned back
into it!

I don't want to hear
your whining!

You are the most useless
piece of shit

i ever had working for me.

Well, that was fun.

Thank you, Dr. Tom,

for showing me
what I already know.

Which is?

That I screwed up
my whole life.

I know better than what?

Than the facts?

Compare me
to that other Adam

and it's pretty clear
who's the loser.

I think that you're missing
the point.

Do ya?
I do,

and before you get
your back up,

just hear me out.

You know, you keep going on
about how you have to live

with you past choices.

So great,
live with them,

but it doesn't mean

you should stop
making new ones.

Come on...

She's right, Adam.

You could still have
that great life, Adam.

What?

You want me to get married,

have a baby,
start a company?

If that's what you wanna do,
then yes.

You keep saying that
that other life wasn't real.

So make it real.

I'm broke,

I've got no education,
plus a rap sheet.

Show me a woman
that wants to marry that.

Excuses.

Dr. Tom:
I think what the group
is trying to tell you, Adam,

is that you keep seeing
the mountain.

What mountain?
What're you talking about?

All the reasons,
all the excuses,

all the obstacles
that are telling you

that you can't do it.

You just keep piling them on,

making the mountain bigger
and bigger,

when perhaps
what you really need to do

is just climb it.

But you won't.

And it's not because
you can't, it's...

It's because you're scared.

Adam, you're scared
and you won't admit it.

You know, you're choosing
to let your past define you,

when you could just choose
something else.

Wow. That's deep.

Adam, you need to shut up
and listen to her.

No. What I need
is to call bullshit

on this whole conversation.

Well done.

♪ never know
how much I love you ♪

♪ never know
how much I care ♪

♪ when you put your arms
around me ♪

♪ I get a fever
that's so hard to bear ♪

♪ oh, you give me fever ♪

Oh my God!
Where have you been?

Luckily,
somewhere far away from here.

Julianne and Barbara:
♪ fever! In the morning ♪

♪ fever all through t n night ♪

♪ fever! Whoo♪

Wi??
Please.

So? Does your mother
still ha I it or what?

That was great mom.

Ok, , is something wrong

because every time
I turrn around

you girls have that loook
on your face.

What look?

Don't give me that look.

You know exactly
what I'm talking about.

- It...I
- You know, just...

You've been acting
a ltttle bit...

over the top today,
mom.

And how should I be acting,
exactly, Erica?

Look, you know..

Mom, we just want you
to take care of yourself

and just....

To act like a sick person
should.

Samantha and Erica:
No. No.

No, that's not
what we mean.

You know what?
I think I'm gonna leave.

Erica and Samantha:
Mom!

No, I'm done here
for the night.

Could you girls please
take me home?

Really?

You wanna come in?

- If you have any ice,
- Yeah.

Ow.

Well, you still know
how to throw a punch.

You still know how
to push my buttons.

Like father like son.

You seen him?

Dad?

No. And I won't.

You?

No.

Do you ever get sick of it,
John?

The bullshit,
the violence...

God, don't start
with this again.

I'm not trying to pick a fight,

I just wanna know.

Because I lived your life
for a long time

and it got too much for me.

Yeah, well,
I'm not like you.

So if you could wake up
tomorrow,

and walk away from it all,
you wouldn't?

No.

I'm good where I am.

But what about you, Adam?

You don't miss making
real money,

the respect?

Can you honestly sit there

and tell me
that you're happy

living like this?

No.

No, I'm not happy at all.

Well, shouldn't you be?

Yeah.

I should.

Well, I told the boys
that I'd meet up with them.

You're welcome to come.

No, thank you.

But could you drop me off
somewhere along the way?

Yeah.

- Hey.
- Hey, mom.

Uh, sorry,
we don't wanna bother you...

No, you're not bothering me.

Sit down.

Well, we just, um...

We wanted to apologize,
for tonight.

Yeah,
we know we upset you

and that's the last thing
that we wanted to do,

but we did.

I know you didn't mean to,

and I know this cancer thing
is really hard for both of you.

We're not trying to make it
about us.

At all.

I know that.

But I also know how worried
you both are.

Hey, I'm worried too.
But at the same time...

I feel like I'm supposed to be
acting like a sick person.

Like I'm supposed
to be following

a script of some sort,

and I don't want that

because I feel fine.

And I want to keep feeling
and keep acting fine

for as long as I can.

Okay.

Does that make sense?

Yes. Totally, mom.

Good.

I love you.

Coming!

Hi.

Hi. Uh...

How did you know
where I live?

The Internet.

Amazing resource.

Can I come in?

Uh, yeah, sure.
Of course.

This is me.

I, uh...
I came to apologize.

Okay.

I know you were
just trying to help.

I really was.
And look, I'm...

I mean, I'm new

and I don't really know
what I'm doing in there...

You knew what
you were doing,

and you were right.

I just, you know...

I get what it's like
to feel suffocated by your past

and to feel stuck
where you're at.

You're right,
I'm scared.

Especially now that I know

I've gotta do something
about it.

Yeah.

♪ You're old enough
to know well ♪

♪ that better things
are all uphill ♪

anyway,
sorry for barging in on you.

I should...
I should get going.

Okay.

♪ In the smoke
of cannons below... ♪

Thank you.

You're welcome.

♪ People come, people go ♪

See ya.

Yeah.

♪ There's a light
making its way ♪

♪ on up the mountain
night and day ♪

♪ and you get tired ♪

♪ and you get weak ♪

♪ but you won't abandon
your masterpiece ♪

Choices...

They are life's constant.

The choice to be brave
and push forward;

to turn back and retreat;

the choice to stand still

and watch the world
pass you by.

Sometimes we tell ourselves
that there is no choice

when, in fact,
the exact opposite is true.

There is always a choice.

Hi, I'd like take

one of your landscape
architecture courses, please.

♪ There's a light
making its way ♪

♪ on up the mountain,
night and day ♪