Being Erica (2009–2011): Season 3, Episode 13 - Fa La Erica - full transcript

50/50 Publishing is hosting an all-inclusive Christmas party. The self-professed queen of Christmas, Julianne, is taking charge to ensure that everything for the party matches the exacting standard of a Giacomelli Christmas. On the flip side, Adam, who attends the party nonetheless, has never had a merry Christmas, and he seems determined not to partake in the traditional Christmas festivities just to please others. In the middle is Erica, who, coming from Jewish background, has never officially celebrated Christmas with her family, but has observed its secular traditions as an adult as they surround western society. Erica will even miss the traditional first night of Hanukkah with her family because of the party. Regardless of Adam's feelings, Erica is determined to show Adam that Christmas, with its associated traditions, can be a happy time. As such, Dr. Tom sends Erica to three holidays past: first to a Giacomelli Christmas as a teen-aged Julianne, that experience which is a much tenser version of what Julianne had described; second to a Strange holiday past when Erica was twelve and who, along with her siblings, wanted so much to partake in the Christmas rather than Hanukkah traditions; and third to Adam's last Christmas day, which was spent with what he considered his best friend at the time. These experiences show Erica what is important to show not only Adam, but everyone, in making this indeed a happy holiday season.

I do not remember telling Ivan
to make a gingerbread house.

You didn't, 'cos...
I made it.

Uhm... Erica, you know that I love you,

But your lattes taste
like day-old battery acid

Food isn't just you fort?

So, we'll just pretend this maybe...

Tastes like Christmas and Rudolph and gingerbread
latte exploting in my mouth all at once.

You'll be nicer now?

I'm so sorry, chicken.

This time of year brings out my mother in me.

Now,



the 50-50 Press Holiday
Soir?e is way inclusive

So, for our guests observing Kwanzaa,
we have a Unity Cup,

and a Mkeka.

How cool.

And next, for you and
yours peeps, Erica,

A Menorah!

Technically it's a Chanukkiyah

but thank you very much,
it's a very sweet gesture.

Is not just a gesture, Hanukkah
is a major holiday

Actually, Yom Kippur is major,

Rosh HashanahRosh Hashanah is major,
but Hanukkah, not so major.

Ho-ho-ho my dear
tinsel ladies

Jolly Ole' Saint Ivan
is in the House.

You look amazing!



He knows, He's been staring
in the mirror for three hours.

David's troll is gorgeous,
this party is gonna rock.

- Jingle Bell Rock
- Well it better, 'cos I'm keeping a list

and I'm checking it twice,

and if anything that is
on here is not out there,

I'm gonna be grabbing two lumps of
coal down your bear cage chimney

Make sure to answer with a...

Hello-ho-ho

Hello-ho-ho

Erica?

Hey, dad!

When are you gonna be here?
We'll hold off lighting the candles

Ahm.. No... wait, I have the
50/50 Holiday Work Party tonight

Didn't mum tell you?

No, your mother didn't tell me.

No, Lenin, just...
just one for the first night.

Oh... Sorry... First hanukkah

You're not gonna be here
for the first night of hanukkah

You know is a family tradition, Erica.

I know dad, but I have work party, so

why don't I come to your place some other night.

Dad. Don't let me feel bad.

I'm sorry.

Is Okay, honey. Go
and enjoy your party.

Ok. Well, I'll swing by tomorrow.

Chag Sameach

Happy Hanukkah to you too

- Ho Ho Ho
- Hey

Wow. Look at this place.
You don?t need more decorations.

I'll take those.

Ok this is not holly,
this is cedar.

I'm aware Julianne, but they
ran out of Holly. I apologise.

Thank You, I think.

Julianne isn't full on trust mode.

Julianne has never been
on the road and the shops...

Stores, I mean is just
other day of the year.

No no no no.. no holiday
squidgy grinch talk, mister

I am determined to make this
a good Christmas for you.

Erica. You have enough
on your plate already

You know, this work shindig
tonight and family commitments

Don't add me to your
list of obligations.

Oh well, you're number
one on it, so...

I know that the holidays,
they make you sad

and I don't want you to be.

Just wanna make you happy.

Starting with...

Okay, that's a good start.

Being Erica 3x13
- Fa La Erica-

Sincr. by Alice

Say "minced meat".

You're going tubing
on Christmas Day?

If Santa over there can
get over his acrophobia, yeah

But if not, we'll just go
cross-country skiing like always.

With all of your parents?
That's.. it is so cute

They kind of live for it,
it's pretty adorable.

Ok, I live for Christmas too,

inside, where it's warm.

with my mum's homemade
Christmas clothes,

loads of presents and
carols and crackers and

all the other Giacomelli traditions.

You have everything but
"chestnuts roasting on an open fire".

No no no, we usually have those too!

and Adam, what you got any

special Christmas tradition you
gonna share with Erica this year?

My family likes to get drunk and
pass out on the Christmas pudding

I can.

Rum and eggnog anyone?

No?

yeah...

either this stuff tastes like leather or did
I put a size six Nunavut boot right of my mouth.

No, you know, it's not you...
Adam, he just has

bag full of memories
about the holidays.

I'm so sorry

I didn't mean to drudge up
the ghost of Christmas past day

No I know, I just...

I don't know what to do for him.

You know, I've seen all
the Christmas movies

and I think I know what
it's supposed to be like

and this is gonna sound cheesy but...

I just... I want that for him.

Erica I... I think that's beautiful.

Are you crying?

Ok yes, 'cos I'm a sap and

I just love this time of year,

brings up the best in people
and I have to say...

when it comes to perfect
Christmases, I'm kind of an expert.

Well, good then because I'm not!

Maybe you can help me,
You can be like my Christmas coach

Oh!, I'd love to!

So, it starts with the present.

you have to pick something that
is very important to both of you.

Jules!

Oh my God.
This is a great party.

Thanks! We have cider, we have cocoa
and if you want something more alcoholic,

we have rum and eggnog

No thanks... I'm just gonna get
a cider, you want one?

No, I'm Ok.

Judith.

I'm gonna catch up
with you in just a bit

- Ok
- Hello

another when you get a chance.

That doesn't look like
a rum and eggnog

No, that's because
it's an Irish car bomb

Just doing my bit to
help the Irish economy

Well, I got you a
Christmas present.

Erica...

No... I know you said no,
but look, it's very small.

A door.

- Get it? From therapy...
- Get it.

I stole it from the gingerbread
house. I hope no one notices.

Thank you.

Great, next step?
Picture with Santa.

Erica.

The door is great, but really I'm not...
I'm not up for this... Christmas stuff.

Aw, c'mon. One picture
to remember tonight by.

Just you and me and
Jolly Ole' Saint Nick!

Come young lady and sit on
Santa's lap. You too, young man!

Everybody say "Gouda" on three.

One... Two... Three.

Gouda!

Alright.. Oh. wait.. Adam...

Let's try it again, this time
think like sugarplum fairies...

It's alright man!

Sorry.

Adam.

Adam.

You're not gonna have
fun if you don't even try

I told you, Christmas
is just not my thing.

I know, I'm just trying to make you happy

I know that this time of year is hard
for you because of your family

Erica, I didn't ask to
make this time of year fun

because there's no
way it can be, Ok?

I'm sorry. I just need some air.
Excuse me.

Adam.

Adam wait.

Happy Holidays, Erica.

Would you mind handing
me that silver bell?

Look I hope you didn't call me in here
to help you decorate your Christmas tree

because I'm not really an expert.

Well, then perhaps

you wouldn't mind
assisting me with this.

Why do you have a Chanukkiyah?

Traditions all over the world
celebrate the winter holiday.

So I choose to observe them all.

- You must be really busy right now

- You have no idea

Would you do me the honour
of lighting the first candle?

This is the first night
of Hanukkah, after all

For eight days, they celebrated.

One Maccabees.

Did the Maccabees have any advice
about how to patch things up with Adam?

What happened?

Well, is just, you know, Christmas
is a difficult time of year for him.

You know his family.

And I just hope that I can reboot

the holidays for him this year.

Because you feel
he's been missing out.

well of course he has...

He never had a Christmas
tree growing up,

no presents, no stockings and...
I know he's not a child anymore. but...

What?

Being jewish this time of year...

especially when you are
a kid, is really hard

everywhere there's these

crazy, shiny amazing parties

and you're not invited.

So it must be doubly hard if
you are invited to the party,

but nobody cares enough
to throw the party for you.

So if...

you could give Adam
a real Christmas,

one with lots of presents
and bowls of holly and carols

sung by a roaring fire,
you think that would help him.

I think that would help him look
at the holidays in a new light.

I think that would make him happy.

Or, you might be missing the
forest for the Christmas trees.

What does that mean?

Oh... My... God!

Oh no... is time to give you
a Christmas *** *gasp*

Sorry?

You should be. It's
7 o'clock Julianne.

Only idiots and preschoolers are up.

Go back to bed.

Julianne?!

This just looks like a
stocking from a magazine.

what?

That's because it is a
stocking from a magazine.

Your real one is under the
tree, remember, sleepyhead?

Totally makes sense.

Two stockings!

It makes sense to your mother
that's all that matters, chicken.

Chicken!

So...

Weird

Want some advice, honey?

Ok.

Go get dress for the big portrait
before you get us both in trouble!

Then we open stuff, Ok?

- Oh, okay
- I wouldn't mind.

Oh, right. Sorry.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas.

Cheese!

Let me check and see if
that went out correctly.

The flash went out, honey.

Julianney don't move!

I want one more
picture, just to be safe.

Oh, sorry.

The annual photo op is
a deadly serious matter!

just why you chose to
dress as a witch this year

Ok now, all together everyone.

Eyes open, and...

Fruitcake!

Perfect! Thank you.

Now, to open presents.
And panettone, your favourite.

good, I'm starved!

Wait! Don't move!

Is that star crooked?

It looks fine to me, honey.

It's crooked, Remo.

# O star of wonder #
# star of light #

# Fix the star #
# or have a fight #

Does that mean we're doing it again?

Yes, that means we're going again.

Laugh at me now but someday you will
be glad you have all these nice pictures.

Fruitcake

Perfect!

Do we get to open the
presents now, please!

What is with you today? You're
acting like you're 8 years old

I thought everybody was
excited at Christmas

Your sister loves this time of year

and why is that a bad thing?

I don't know. 'cos maybe she
doesn't even see that she's

part of this giant consumerist
culture that is so hypocritical

Consumerist?
That's a big word.

Have you read Chusmky?

Liar. You're not even a kid and you
still listen to New Kids on The Block.

Excuse me Georgy, but reading
Chumsky and listening to New Kids

are not "mutually exclusive"

You don't even understand
what I'm talking about

Girls, girls, girls
It's Christmas morning

please stop fighting

Have some panettone, some eggnog

And then we will
open presents

You know I sent for that
all the way from Italy

Just for you, Julianne
'cos is your favourite.

Maybe I need to wash it down

Freak.

Thank you so much everyone.

I've never opened as many
gifts in my entire life.

Wait.. I think Santa
missed something over here.

Let's see. Oh,
for Georgy.

- Who is this one?
- That's from me.

Hope you like it.

"Tolerance"

You brought me a rock.

Maybe you should tell your sister

what were you thinking
when you bought it.

Well...

Tolerance

is a beautiful concept,

especially at this time of the year.

and I need to be reminded of that
because why... because I'm intolerant?

C'mon. Your sister wouldn't be trying
to hurt your feelings at Christmas.

Wouldn't she?

Well, I'll have to agree, it
isn't the most thoughtful gift.

Honey! Not helping.

I mean, it isn't
quite as thoughtful as,

let's say an electric grill.

Hey! Are there any other
presents under here maybe?

Are you calling my
gift thoughless?

Do you know how long I had to spend
on the phone to get you one of those?

Is the biggest
gift of the season!

Oh yeah, mum, they are great, trust me.

is like you know, like having
a barbecue on your kitchen.

Oh, that's just wonderful!

So I can use my gift to
barbecue for all for you.

No, mum

No, you know what? It's fine.

I do all the work around here,

making sure your Christmases
are something to remember

and the big joke ends up to be on me.

And clearly, I'm the worst husband in the world!

Listen. how many times have you told
me that you wish you had a grill!

So I got you a grill.

I didn't want it for Christmas!

Dad be careful.

You're sounding intolerant.

wouldn't want Julianne giving
you one of these for Father's day

Georgy hey look, I'm sorry

I guess I wasn't thinking. Give me the
rock an I'll take it back to the store.

Oh no. This is mine now.

No, Georgy. You hate it
C'mon give it to me.

No, it's useful. I might be
whacking a sister I have.

No, c'mon.

# O rest ye merry gentlemen #

# let nothing you dismay #

Yeah, dismay. That about sums it up.

That's hardly in the
spirit of the Season

What, you didn't get enough presents?

No. I got loads, but the tension
around it all was unbelievable

just feels that there's
way too many expectations

for one morning

You thought that all
would be candy cane and

chestnust roasting
on an open fire and

# Five golden rings #
# Four calling birds #

# Three french hens #
# Two turtle doves #

-Dr. Tom
- Hold on.

# And a partdridge in a pear tree. #

Go ahead.

Yes, that's what I thought,
but through no fault of my own,

and Julianne, she swears up and down that Christmas

is just the best time of year.

Well, what do you think?

Well, I'm sure not feeling the
Christmas spirit that she's talking about

Clearly she and Georgy hate each other

'Cos Julianne is seriously "type A"

and I was feeling bad for Remo
until the whole grill incident.

You know what?

Adam, he may be a Grinch in Christmas,
but at least he's honest about it.

"Christmas is a time
when you get homesick"

"even when you're home"

Carol Nelson

- Julianne.
- Yeah?

Who is at the door?

Just a Caroler.

Ooh! Merry Christmas

Why thank you, Madam.
God bless us everyone.

Julianne put your coat on, we can't be late.

She's stalling 'cos she's nervous

Nervous, for what?
We're just going to Church

not like I have to...

get up there and do a solo?

A Solo?

If i have to hear you sing
"Silent Night" one more time I will barf.

Oh no no, wait

I'm singing in front of like
a church full of people?

Seriously, have you guys heard my voice?

Father Angelo says you sound terrific.

I hope so, after all the lessons we paid for.

Oh mum, dad

Ok, c'mon let's go. Parking it's gonna be
a nightmare. Julianne. Put your coat on.

Now is the Day of Joy

Let us not revenge.

Now is the Day of Good Will

Let us not be cruel.

Georgy

Georgy

Do you know the
tune of "Silent Night"?

Yes!

- Can you help me?
- With what??

Girls! We're at church!

The Lord be with you

- and also with you
- and also yeah...

with... with you.

And now, dear friends,

A Christmas gift for us all,

The god-given voice

of Julianne Giacomelli.

Julianne

Go, honey!

Merry Christmas

What are you doing?

Sorry I don't know...

I don't know what's wrong with me.

maybe we'll just skip next week's service
and save Father Angelo the embarrasment.

I just... I mean I blanked.

Pretty awful, right?

Is nice to see Georgy sing

Actually was pretty great thing
the two of you sing together again

It's been a long time

Now, would anyone like a nice light
lunch, nothing to spoil your dinner

Let me get that, Cass.
You just sit and relax.

- Are you sure?
- 'Course I'm sure

with so much effort into
making Christmas perfect for us,

is your turn to enjoy yourself.

How does grilled
cheese and salami sound?

It sounds great

I guess I'll rustle up some coffee

and don't worry Julianne,
I will make you a latte

Thanks mum. And thank you
for coming to my rescue

Yeah well, it was too much
watching you die up there!

even for me.

look...

about the present I got you...

Don't worry about it.

No, really. I didn't
get it to hurt you.

you know, that's not
Julianne that's not my style

I think that we're just so
different, and I see you and...

you're all intellectual
and political and I think

that I kinda wanted to
get you something deep

and I picked the wrong thing.

Yeah, well...

Tolerance is a really deep message.

Yeah! it is.

It's pretty perfect, for the Season

We are different

But, maybe...

I could be more tolerant of
everything that makes you... you

That was one crazy
Christmas morning, huh?

yeah!

crazy!

What are you talking about?
That was nothing

Nothing? The tree fell over!

Sorry about that, again.

Dad's right. It's
like this every year.

Remember two years ago?
When you killed the oven

and we had to have chinese food.

Really?

Or the year before
that, when Nono was here,

and he flooded the
upstairs bathroom?

That's right. It came through
the ceiling and went on the tree

and wet all the presents.

Anyway

Here's to another crazy
Giacomelli Christmas.

hear, hear, hear

Oh... My... God

But I wanna sit on his
knees! Please, please, please

You know we don't celebrate Christmas

I want a candy cane and a
picture to show my friends!

Sam we've got to get
on setup the party,

why don't I buy you
a lollipop for the...

I don't want a lollipop
I want a candy cane

I'll be so fast! look!
there's no line up. Please!

Samantha Rachel Strange!

Keep your voice down.

Mum, just let her,

Santa isn't even a christian
icon, if anything he's pagan.

Erica, please don't cause
problems for me right now

I got a lot to deal with

I'm just saying that you're
making way too big a deal of this.

One candy cane from Santa Claus
isn't gonna make Sam convert.

Just this one time,
mommy. Please let me.

Ok.

- Go!
- Thank you, mommy!

Pagan? When did you get so smart?

Daddy! Daddy!

Hey, honey!

look what I got!

So, you visited Santa

I asked for a talking
Cabbage Patch Doll

and some for me and
Leo. She's that generous

Thanks Sam, but I wouldn't count
on Santa delivering to this house.

Leo!

What are you doing?

Wishing you a happy Hanukkah

Okay, thanks.

You wanna let go?

Leo, can you put this bags
in the kitchen for me, please?

'kay mum.

Daddy? Did you know
Santa has twelve reindeer,

and elves to make all the presents?

Really!

- Barb, can we speak for a moment?
- 'Course

Erica, can you get the rest of
the bags from the car, please?

Sure.

Oh.

Okay, so ahm

what's going on?

Memories of Hanukkah's past

Okay, you sent me back
to experience Christmas

so that I can learn that is not all
snowflakes and reindeers and now I'm

doing Hanukkah in the eighties?

No, not just any Hanukkah

I mean this one was particularly memorable.

I have no idea what are you talking about.

- I was like, eleven?
- it'll come back to you.

Forgive me, it's just the irony of it all.

I mean, here you are, you wanted
to give Adam the perfect Christmas.

Yes, and?

Is funny. The apple never
falls far from the tree.

Still in the dark here!

Oh, thank you, Erica.

You go off and enjoy
some Hanukkah magic

I promise that all will be revealed

they feel left out

well that's too bad, they're jewish

they have to deal with it

you are over-reacting

am over-reacting?

Where's this gonna end up, Barb?

We're gonna get a Christmas
tree in here, put out lights...

She sat on Santa's
lap for a picture...

You know, you're blowing
this out of proportion

Erica

did I do something bad?

Oh no, no. Don't worry about it, Ok?

Everything's gonna be alright

Could have fooled me hon!

No. I didn't fool you. I'm
merely stating something..

Hey! Anyone up for a
little dreidel tonight?

No thanks Uncle Joe.

Erica, if I were older, do you
think George Michael would like me?

I don't think you're his type, Sam.

What was that?

That was a very special
visitor to our house.

who we are welcoming this year.

Did that come from the roof?

It did, indeed.

say hello to Judah the Lion.

Judah the lion.

- He's the reincarnation of...
- Judah the Macabee. I remember this.

If you bring your wishes of the
Chanukkiyah and scatter the ashes,

Judah magically reassembles
them and brings you presents.

Were you eavesdropping?

Maybe

Hold it. Are you saying there's a
lion on our roof right now, daddy?

Yes, sweetie,

I think so.

If we listen carefully,
we might hear him.

Alright, exciting. I'll be in my
room listening to the Smiths

call me when is time to eat.

Oh no.

You gotta wait, we
should talk about Judah

Otherwise, you might not
get anything for Hanukkah.

C'mon dad, seriously.

What can it hurt?

Besides, you might have some fun.

Judah the Macabee was a fierce
warrior who stormed the Temple.

and with a few men, he defeated
the mighty Assyrian army.

So, when did he become a lion, daddy?

I'm getting to that, sweetie.

Judah the Macabee lived for many years

And then he died and became a lion
who loves his pops. Can I go now?

- Leo.
- What?

- This is whack
- It's Hanukkah,

and I'm trying to tell a story.

Yeah well, I learned the
real story in hebrew school.

what you're telling us is a lie

Leo, if you want to
go to your room, go.

Barb!

I want the family together,

and that includes our son.

I'm not pretending to
believe in a fake lion, ok?

Dad, Judah the lion is fake?

not exactly, sweetheart.

He's pretend!

I don't know why I even bother.

You girls wanna help me make latke?

I'll be right back.

Potato.

Hey, dad.

I just wanted to...

give you kids something to
enjoy, to be excited about.

I wanted it to be special for you.

We have Hanukkah traditions.

Yeah, they are a little
lame but, so what?

So what?

So...

Christmas is everywhere,

Poor jews,

and I don't want my family, my children,

growing up feeling that's there's
something out there that's better.

that what we've got here.

But Chritmas is not about the tree,

or the holly, or the Temple, or the gifts.

Because even if you have all that stuff,

it means nothing if
you're not together,

as a family.

We have that, dad
we are together.

And, that's what's all about

You've got your mother's brains.

Thanks. I just hope I
have some of your heart.

So, are you still in the dark?

No.

No.

Is not about trying to give
Adam the perfect Christmas.

Because there's no such thing,

first of all. And second of all,

I think that I was missing the point.

Which is?

That the holidays...

They're all about being
with the people you love.

Which is why you and
Julianne are so fortunate.

You both have families who love you.

and Adam doesn't.

He can't see you.

What is he doing here?

Well, this is...

last Christmas, and here
is where he spent it.

I mean, I know that Adam has
estranged from his family, but...

surely he has friends that
he spend the holidays with.

If you have whisky as a friend,

Adam does.

Hey Bobby, another whisky
when you get a chance.

Coming right up.

You know, if it was me I'd just head
home and I'd draw the blinds and

grab some junkie monkey and watch TV.

There is a comfort about being
amongst people like yourself.

My first Christmas,

after Sarah left?

I spent in a place much like this.

Adam is here because today, more than any other,

He is seeking something that he truly needs.

Tell me what he doesn't need.

which is apparently me, dragging
him around to sit on Santa's lap.

Cheers, Bobby.

Guiseppe Martini said that
"Family is the Country of the Heart".

We spend so much of
our lives in exile,

but on the holidays we
make the pilgrimage home.

to the nation of our heart.

wherever that may be

You and me on "knock-knock" jokes.

I warn you in advance,
pretty terrible.

Unless you're like Adam.

Then you don't have a
family to go home to.

That's right.

Is there such a thing
as the perfect holiday?

I think that question kind
of misses the point really.

because all holidays
are about the same thing.

and what's that?

Connecting to the people
that care about you.

Feeling like...

you are a part of something...

A family, a Community, a Culture

Thanks Dr. Tom

Chag Sameach, Erica

Merry Christmas.

Hey, Julianne?

- Have you seen Adam?
- Chicken, I think he already left, I'm sorry.

Yeah, but like a bad box of
fruitcake, I keep coming back.

Uhm excuse me. I have to do repair on

the gingerbread house. Would you believe
some party-pooper swiped the door!

I'm sorry.

No, I am.

No, I am.

Wanna fight about it?

Listen, I was wrong the way I
crammed Christmas down your throat

You should do whatever you need to do

in order to feel Ok for the holiday

Just, no pressure

Thanks.

I've to split soon, to go to my parents' Hanukkah party

I thought you weren't going

I changed my mind

and I would love for you to come

I mean is gonna be filled with crazy people

and games that probably
make no sense

and oily food

this is your sales pitch?

And if you don't wanna
go, is totally cool, Adam.

It's like i said. There's just no pressure.

Would you look at that

One Christmas tradition I can get behind.

Well then, you better be, for me.

On that note,

I think that we should run

before we miss the candle lighting.

You can't come to the
candles, the candles come you

- Dad! What?
- Hi, honey

What are you guys doing here?

It wasn't a Hanukkah
party without you

So we thought we'd crash

With latkes and apple sauce.

I ate the last doughnut
on the way over

what kind of a Holiday
you come with doughnuts

I don't care where I light
the Chanukkiyah Erica,

as long as I do it with my family.

Come in, Come in!

- Can I put this some place?
- Yes, absolutely

Julianne!
Strangers are here.

My favourites!

- Merry Christmas
- Thank You

Sinc. by Alice