Being Erica (2009–2011): Season 2, Episode 12 - The Importance of Being Erica - full transcript
Erica is feeling conflicted about her decision to start her own publishing company with her fellow fired River Rocker Julianne, their first planned book being Seth Newman's manuscript about escaping from a cult within which his family still lives. Although the business was Erica's idea, Julianne is equally as excited about the prospect. Ethan, however, wants Erica to be more cautious in whatever her next career pursuit. Dr. Tom gives Erica a test to follow her gut feeling. As Erica is unable to complete this test, Dr. Tom sends Erica back to graduate school, when Erica mistakenly sent a nasty email to her brilliant but difficult thesis adviser, Dr. Audrey Hogan, the department head. Erica vows not to send the email the second time around. Regardless of the email, Erica feels that Dr. Hogan hates her. But Erica comes to understand what she is supposed to learn on this visit back. With this new found knowledge, Erica tries to assist Kai, who thinks that he will soon be sent back to resume his real life. But she also makes a decision to change a fundamental aspect of her own current life, and walks through a door to an unknown future.
Previously on "Being Erica"...
You will pack up your desks
and be out before lunch.
What is that?
A manuscript, and it's amazing.
What if we publish it?
Why won't you talk to me about
your therapy?
Someone died because of me.
Travis. How's it going?
Travis's suicide was
incredibly shocking
to all of us,
you know.
And Kai took it
really hard.
♪ 'Cause, baby,
I'm an alien like you ♪
Was "Alien Like You"
one of those songs?
Nah, that was all mine.
I...
In fact, I never finished
writing it.
Erica, starting your
own publishing company,
it's a risky move.
It might not work out.
Why're you being
so negative?
I'm sorry, I just don't think
it's a good idea.
You don't think
it's a good idea?
I think you're
being impulsive.
You know what?
I'm sorry I even brought it up.
Come on, Erica,
you just lost your first job
in publishing
and now you wanna run
your own business?
A lot of people start
their own companies.
A lot of people
also fail at it.
You don't think
that I can do this.
Wow, that's great.
Look, I'm just
being honest.
You don't know anything
about running a business.
Well, then
I'll figure it out.
And what if you can't?
What happens then?
Look, try and be
realistic here.
Do you honestly believe
you're ready, 100%?
Yes.
I...
I don't know.
You're getting ahead
of yourself.
You're jumping in
totally blind.
It's too risky.
Maybe you're right.
Slow and steady
wins the race, okay?
Yeah.
♪ Being Erica 2x12 ♪
The Importance of Being Erica
Original Air Date on December 8, 2009
♪ it's clearer inside of me ♪
♪ who I will always be ♪
♪ open me up to my heart ♪
♪ feels like I'm seeing
in the dark ♪
♪ waking me up to my heart ♪
♪ to do it all over
again and again ♪
♪ until the end ♪
♪ the sum of my dreams ♪
♪ and everything
I ever wanted to be ♪
Have you ever woken up
and had that feeling
like something
just isn't right?
Like you've slept all night,
but still aren't rested?
Like there's a weight,
a heaviness in your heart
that you can't quite name?
Ethan?
Hey.
What're you doing up?
Habit, I guess.
Mm.
How're you feeling?
Good.
You sure?
Yeah.
I mean, everything that
you said last night,
it... it makes sense.
I'm just processing it.
Okay. I love you.
I love you, too.
See you tonight?
Definitely.
Have you ever woken up
in your own bed
and just felt... lost?
Hello?
Rise and shine,
chicken.
Julianne,
it's not even 8:00.
She can tell time,
good,
because our level two
Ashtanga class
starts in less
than an hour.
No.
It's a slippery
slope, Strange.
One morning you sit down
to watch "Oprah."
Two years later,
you're agoraphobic,
morbidly obese,
and sharing your apartment
with 53 cats.
Cautionary tale.
You are not gonna let me
sleep in.
No way, Jose!
Plus, this is yoga and our first
business meeting,
so chop-chop!
I gotta say, your demo...
It's righteous, guys.
A bit raw, of course,
but it's good.
So you, uh...
Got the song I sent,
right?
We did.
The boys have it, we're on it.
Cool. Good to hear.
Any thoughts, Kai?
Yeah, song's okay.
I guess.
It's commercial.
It's not a bad thing,
you know.
See, your sound's
a bit too... garage band.
Right.
But we sign with you,
we sing your song,
you'll get us a record deal.
Overnight.
And if we do,
who steers our ship?
You or us?
I'll tell you what.
I'll bring some guys
from Universal to uh...
this open mic night.
Just play the song
and you'll be golden.
Okay?
But you blow it?
We'll be gone
before the chorus.
Got it?
See ya tonight, boys.
"Who steers our ship?"
Are you insane?
He wants to sign the band.
I know, but we have
to protect ourselves.
I'm serious, man,
if you screw this up for us,
then this whole thing--
the band,
our friendship?
It's over!
Oh!
Hello, stranger.
Hey.
So... I loved it.
The manuscript?
Yeah!
That's great.
Erica.
I liked the book.
You should be happy.
I am. It's just...
Julianne, I don't think
I can do this.
I can't start
a business.
What? Why?
Hi, everyone.
Welcome to class.
My name's Jess.
Just take it at
your own pace today.
And remember
to listen to your body.
Let's begin,
standing with feet
hip-width apart.
Arms at your sides.
... from here,
come to stand on the knees,
to prepare for camel.
Now we're gonna open
our hearts.
Inhale, lift up through
the chest.
Then, as you exhale,
trace your eyes along
the ceiling to the back wall
and reach for your heels.
See if you can lift up
through the chest.
Open...
Open...
And breathe.
You're doing great.
Again.
No, no, it's okay.
It happens.
You're just releasing what
you were feeling.
Excuse me...
I'm sorry.
Erica!
Erica, hold up.
What is it?
What's wrong?
I don't--I don't know.
I'm just, I...
I'm acting insane.
Is this about our plan?
The manuscript?
You said you couldn't do it.
Why not?
Look,
I talked with Ethan
and...
It's too risky.
I'm a junior editor,
and I'm barely that.
Stop.
Listen,
I admit it, yesterday
I was a "Debbie Downer."
But then I thought about
what you said
and I realized
you were right.
We have this amazing
opportunity here
to do something bigger.
And we're smart,
and we have had successes
and we both want this.
Don't you want this?
Well, no risk, no reward,
sister.
Oh, God.
I'm just so confused right now.
Just, just...
Think about it,
okay?
Okay...
You look like a man
on a mission.
I'm done fighting.
Everybody wants me
to finish the stupid regret--
you, Erica.
Now I've had it,
so screw it.
I'm sick of arguing
about it.
What're you gonna do?
I'm gonna finish
the damn song and go back.
The question is:
Are you happy?
Do I look happy?
My apartment runs outta
hot water every morning.
I can barely afford
to eat.
My friends all talk
and act like teenagers.
Me and Travis?
I resent him
and he hates me.
I feel like...
like you've
made things worse, not better.
I'm worn down.
And I get it,
I can't...
I can't save him,
I know--
it doesn't matter
what I do.
This therapy's not about
changing the past, Kai.
It never was.
So what is the point
of it?
That's for you
to figure out.
I am lost, Dr. Tom.
Really? You're three blocks
from your house.
Oh...
that kind of lost.
I mean, Ethan's reasons for
not opening a business
totally make sense.
But what Julianne
had to say...
I mean, it does, too.
So whose advice
do I follow?
Come with me.
I wanna show you something.
"Every wall is a door."
Emerson.
Go ahead.
Push.
Where are we going?
Where indeed.
Choose a door.
Just any door?
Oh, help me out here.
I need some context.
I mean, what am I...
What am I supposed to do
and how do I choose?
One day, Alice came
to a fork in the road
and saw a cheshire cat.
"Which road do I take?"
She asked.
"Where do you want to go?"
Was his response.
"I don't know,"
answered Alice.
"Then," said the cat,
"it doesn't matter."
I don't understand.
It's not complicated.
You can't stay
in this hallway forever.
You have to choose.
But how?!
I mean, how am I supposed
to decide?
Which one feels right?
Honestly, I don't know.
So...
Wait!
Dr. Tom, wait!
You followed me.
Well, where else
was I supposed to go?
Okay.
So, tell me about
"sillyfingers."
Just... okay...
Wait a second.
You just threw me
down the rabbit hole
and I have no idea why.
Can we just please
back up here?
Erica, you had
three choices back there.
Choice one:
Choose a door.
Choice two:
Stay in the hallway,
undecided.
Or choice three:
Follow me.
Okay, so clearly I made
the wrong choice,
but that's just because
I don't understand
what you're trying
to tell me.
Ergo "sillyfingers."
Okay, it was...
It was 1999, I'd just started
my master's program.
I was working part-time
as a T.A.
for my thesis advisor,
Professor Audrey Hogan.
She was this Rhodes scholar,
Phd from Oxford,
and I'd fought to get her.
And then lived to regret it.
She was brilliant,
but she didn't suffer fools.
I mean, everyone
was terrified of her,
including me.
And when she would do something
that would stress me out,
I would email Cassidy--
'cause her office,
it was just down the hall
from mine.
We would write
the most awful things.
This one time, Hogan,
she got me really worked up,
so I emailed Cassidy,
she wrote me back,
and instead
of hitting reply...
I forwarded the message
to Hogan by mistake.
And I didn't even know
that I did it
until an hour later
when she called me
into her office
to inform me
that she was withdrawing
as my thesis advisor.
I was formally reprimanded,
I was assigned
to a new Professor
who basically ignored me.
I used to love academics.
You know,
I thrived in that world,
until my masters.
And it's like Hogan
and that whole
stupid incident,
it... it tarnished it for me.
So, you're saying
that you might have stayed on,
gotten your Phd?
Maybe.
Okay.
And if you could
go back?
Well, obviously,
I wouldn't have sent the email.
Oh.
Okay...
Okay...
No.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Oh shit!
No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no-no-no!
No-no-no-no!
Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God!
Erica, what's wrong?
No, there's no time.
That email?
I- accidentally,
I hit "forward,"
not "reply."
Hogan, not Holland...
Oh, my God.
You sent that, all of that, to her?
Yeah! Come, come on!
Excuse me! Move it!
Abort, abort.
Okay, don't worry,
I got this.
I need to speak
to Professor Hogan.
Oh, I'm sorry,
but she's not in.
Can I give her
a message?
She gave me a "D"
on my Caleb Williams paper.
And I can't get a "D."
Okay, well, I'm afraid
I can't help you.
I'll just call her at home
myself, then.
Hey! Uh,
let me call you back.
Uh, excuse me,
you can't look in there.
Excuse me.
What are you gonna do, huh?
Call security?
It doesn't matter
because Professor Hogan
has already ruined my life.
See, my father was a lawyer
and my father's father
was lawyer,
and his father...
Oh, thank God!
But he worked with lawyers
nonetheless,
and I am the last one!
I wanna go to arbitration,
I want a second opinion.
Cassidy.
Erica.
Erica, I don't know
what I'm gonna do.
This is so unfair,
she failed me!
Oh, you know what?
You're gonna be fine.
Let's go.
Look, Professor Hogan,
she'll be back
any minute.
If your friend
wants to wait...
No, no, I think
that it's better
if she just cools down
for a bit,
thank you.
Oh, if she had gotten
that email,
it would've been so bad.
You have no idea.
"The Importance
of Being Earnest"
is a memorable title.
But what does it
communicate?
What is Wilde trying
to tell us? Yes?
I think he's using the title
to reinforce
the play's message,
which is the importance
of honesty.
All right,
but let's not forget
the recurring theme
of hypocrisy.
Jack is living a lie,
and yet all turns out
well in the end.
Where's the morality
in that?
Erica.
What's your view?
My view. Um...
I think that you both
make very good points.
There's a kind of
unconventional honesty
to the way that Algernon
is living,
whereas Jack,
he appears more conflicted.
Well, thank you
for that summary,
but I asked for
a point of view.
Your own.
It appears
you don't have one.
Come in.
Hello.
Have a seat.
We are meeting to discuss
your thesis proposal, yes?
Yes, but
I was hoping
we could talk about
what happened in class today?
Erica,
my time is valuable.
If you wish to spend it
rehashing
this morning's events,
well, that is your choice.
I think your time
would be better spent
presenting your proposal.
Okay, my proposed thesis
is titled
"The Woman in the Attic:
Hidden feminism
in Bronte's Jane Eyre."
I see.
That's it?
Well, if you must choose
the blandest possible
thesis topic,
who am I to stand
in your way?
Bland?!
Professor Hogan,
I have put a lot of research into this.
Oh, I'm sure you did.
But as thesis topics go,
you must know that
it is pedestrian,
it's boring,
and it's been done.
Regardless,
your thesis is approved.
Thank you.
I didn't even
send the email
and, I swear, she hates me
more than before.
Well, she's crazy,
clearly.
I mean you're
so smart,
so talented,
so adorable...
Okay. Easy.
Just tell her
to shove it.
Really?
Yeah. Just 'cause
the woman has a Phd
doesn't
make her God.
You need to
confront her and tell her off.
Um...
that's the worst idea.
I don't know. When
I stood up to Lozar,
I mean,
things got better.
Yeah, but Lozar wasn't the head of
the English Department.
Oh, my God.
Is that what
they teach you
in teacher's
college, huh?
Hierarchies,
and blind submission?
Why're you chewing
my head off?
Because university
is about passion,
it's about
original thought
and taking a stand.
Think about
the '60s, or Vietnam...
Trust me, most students
in the '60s
weren't sticking flowers
in guns,
or taking acid trips
at Woodstock.
They were at university
to learn and to graduate
and get real jobs.
Okay, I need
to go now.
Oh, wait...
Hey, Cassidy.
No, really.
If everyone was as complacent as
your friend Ethan here,
you and I wouldn't even be
allowed to go to university.
Wow. Someone needs
to chill out.
Seriously, Erica,
you can't afford to alienate
your advisor.
You need to win
Hogan over.
Yeah, but how?
I have no idea
what she wants.
Then ask her.
Get her involved!
People love being asked
for advice.
That's what I would do.
Professor Hogan?
Can I talk to you?
Well, if you can keep up
with me.
I was thinking about
what you said about my thesis.
And, of course,
the last thing I want
is to present a topic
that's underwhelming.
Do you have another
topic in mind?
Actually, I was wondering
if you had any ideas,
or any suggestions.
Are you asking me
to come up with
your thesis proposal?
No, no, I'm just...
I'm just asking
for some guidance.
No. You're asking me
to do the work for you.
Remind me,
why exactly are you in
this Masters program?
Um...
I'm just trying to give you
what you want.
This has nothing
to do with me.
It is your thesis,
your degree, your life.
Figure it out,
Ms. Strange!
And do it with another
thesis advisor.
Frankly, I don't have
the time for this.
Professor Hogan,
you can't just--
Yes. I can.
You find someone else.
I'm withdrawing
as your advisor.
Erica,
what are you doing here?
This is my level 200
class.
I need to talk to you.
Well, I am not going
to change my mind.
I know, but...
I wanna understand what I did
to make you dislike me.
You never answered
my question.
Why are you in
the Masters program?
Because I need my degree.
You need your degree.
You know, Erica,
when I was your age,
there wasn't one female
tenured Professor
in this faculty.
But I didn't care,
because I knew that this was what
I was meant to do.
Do you have any idea
how frustrating it is
to watch students waste years
hiding out in university
when they could be
pursuing their dreams?
And how do you know
I'm hiding out?
Because you can't answer
the most basic question.
Why are you here?
You're a bright girl,
Erica.
What do you want to do
with your life?
I wanna be an editor.
I wanna publish books.
And I wanna start
my own company--
as crazy as that sounds.
You know, Erica?
30 years ago,
when I told my father
that one day
I wanted to chair
the English Department,
he laughed in my face.
Leave the degrees
to the academics;
you follow your heart,
Erica.
Don't you let anyone
try to stop you.
Thank you, Professor.
You're welcome.
Hey, Julianne, uh...
what're you doing right now?
And so, if my crazy
mini nervous breakdown
didn't put you off
the idea,
I would still really
like to do this.
Okay, this morning,
it was all too "risky"
and then now it's...
Peachy?
I mean, Erica,
what's the dealio?
Oh, I don't know.
You know what?
Actually, I do know.
Ethan, he convinced me
that it was a bad idea.
Oh, well,
maybe it is...
for Ethan.
But he's not you.
What does that mean?
Well, no offense,
but Ethan's not exactly...
Jean Claude van Damme.
You know?
I mean,
he plays it pretty safe.
You know,
he'll come around.
Okay.
Look,
I just wanna make sure,
before I say yes,
that you're not gonna change
your mind again,
or let him change it
for you.
I promise.
How "stoked" am I?!
Partner.
Kai?
Hey.
What're you doing here?
I know you said
you needed your space.
I'm not here
to get in the way...
but I need to tell you
something.
Yeah, no, of course.
What's wrong?
Well,
I finished my regret.
I'm finished writing
"Alien Like You,"
but I'm still here.
Why am I still here?
I don't understand.
Is Dr. Fred
just messing with me?
Is this some kind
of test?
Everything is a test
with them.
Hey, listen,
can I ask you?
What...
What made you decide
to finally go through with it?
When I first got here,
things were great.
Travis was alive.
There was no money,
no drugs...
So you decided to stay.
Yeah.
And it was great
for a while.
But I feel like I'm
messing it up with band,
with Travis.
I keep trying
to change things,
it's not working.
Kai, the therapy,
it's...
It's not really about
changing the past.
That's what
Dr. Fred said.
It's true.
You learn that little lesson
pretty quick.
Then what's the point?
What do they want us to do?
Oh, come on, Kai,
it's called "therapy"
for a reason.
I mean changing your past,
it's easy.
But changing yourself?
It's much harder.
You have to figure out
why you're really here.
How?
I honestly--I've got-- I have no idea.
Um...
Okay.
What are you doing?
I am helping you.
Please, have a seat.
Dr. Erica?
Just indulge me.
Sit.
So, Kai Booker,
let's go back
to the beginning.
Please explain to me
why was "Alien Like You"
a regret?
Okay,
if we're gonna do this,
you gotta talk
like a normal person.
Sorry, I just got a little
carried away there.
Please.
Well, that song
was just honest.
It was how I felt
when I wrote it.
I wasn't trying
to please anyone
or sell records.
I was just...
Being true to yourself.
Yeah.
Hmm. If I was Dr. Tom,
I would say...
"This above all,
to thine own self
be true."
Shakespeare.
It sounds better
when he does it,
but you get what I'm saying.
How can you be true to yourself
in your current situation?
What can you do?
So?
So, I guess I should
find the guys, huh?
Yeah.
Can I ask you something?
Sure.
If this all works
and I go back,
what's it gonna be like
when I get there?
The same...
for the most part.
And will I remember
everything?
Will I remember you?
Yes.
Good.
So, should
I look you up?
Please, Kai, don't.
And if you're going to,
don't tell me
because it's just too weird
to think about.
Plus, I'll be 40.
More like 42...
I'm gonna miss you.
But you'll be fine,
right?
I mean...
you got Ethan.
I bet you won't even
notice I'm gone.
Yes, I will.
Erica...
Hey...
Go. I'll come
and see you after.
Okay.
Okay.
Now, folks,
put your hands together
and give it up
for my favorite band--
Head.
Hey, man.
I'm sorry I've been
letting you down.
No worries.
You okay, man?
Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm great.
Hey, how's everybody
doin' tonight?
We're gonna play
a song for you.
It's called
"Alien Like You."
Took me a while
to finish it,
so you're
the first ones
to hear this song
in its entirety.
What the hell
are you doing?
Come on, man.
♪ I know what
you're feeling ♪
♪ it's hard
to believe in ♪
♪ that home must be
millions ♪
♪ and millions
of light-years away ♪
♪ so let the stars align ♪
♪ let the water make wine ♪
♪ 'cause broken souls
will become whole tonight ♪
♪ oh, tonight... ♪
♪ we know it's right, so... ♪
♪ lift your eyes
and let me in ♪
♪ 'cause, baby,
I'm an alien like you ♪
♪ will you ever
let me be an alien... ♪
♪ with you ♪
♪ Aren't you tired
of running ♪
♪ from what
you're becoming ♪
♪ the truth is
it's useless ♪
♪ there's nowhere to go ♪
♪ it's not going to find you ♪
♪ so let the heavens flare ♪
♪ and let's not be scared ♪
♪ 'cause we know love's
a world above this one ♪
♪ it's like the sun, so... ♪
♪ lift your eyes
and let me in ♪
♪ 'cause, baby,
I'm an alien like you ♪
♪ will you ever let me be
an alien... ♪
♪ with you ♪
So, guys,
it's time to hire a lawyer.
You'll need to, uh, sign
some contracts tomorrow.
You got balls playing
a song like that.
Good job, huh?
Nice work.
Kai!
That was incredible!
Thank you.
I mean, it was just...
It was...
It was perfect!
And I am so glad
that you sang that song.
I'm sorry,
I don't mean to be rude,
but I have a terrible memory
for names.
Who are you again?
I'm nobody.
I'm just a fan.
Thank you.
Hey, there.
Where were you?
Look, I'm sorry,
I shoulda left a message.
But I just got caught up
and then, before I knew it,
it was late and...
Hey, did you
have dinner?
There's some left over
pasta in the fridge.
If you're hungry,
I could heat it up.
No, thanks,
I'm not really hungry.
Um...
Look, Ethan...
I...
There's a lot going on
in my head right now
and I kinda need
to talk about it.
Okay, let's talk.
Okay, well, I...
I met with Julianne today.
And I told her that
I am gonna go
into business with her.
I see.
Okay, well...
what do you expect me to say?
I want you to say
that you understand
and that you get how much
this means to me.
I can't because I don't.
I don't understand
why you wanna take on
that kind of stress
and turn your life
upside down.
Because it's exciting
and it's challenging.
And I know that you're
just looking out for me,
but please,
just back me up
on this one.
Okay?
No. I'm sorry.
Ethan... it's my career.
Yes, but this is our life
together, Erica.
We have to start
thinking about the future
and what we want.
Okay, and what is that,
exactly?
Not this. Not you running
from job to job
and getting fired
one day
and then opening
a business the next.
I mean, come on.
You know, if the situation
was reversed--
You'd support me.
I'm being a shitty boyfriend
because I'm being honest.
No. Look that's not what I'm saying.
Well the situation
wouldn't be reversed,
'cause I wouldn't
do this.
So... there's nothing else
that you want?
I mean, you've...
You've got it all?
Yes. I have a career
that I love,
and good friends.
And I have you.
And in ten years from now?
Ten years?
We're married,
we have kids,
a dog and a house.
And I'm still teaching,
and you're working,
and life's simple.
And we'll be happy.
Hey...
Are you crying?
No. I'm not crying,
I'm not crying.
I'm just...
I am freaking out
right now.
I thought you
wanted this.
I did.
But right now we are...
we are in completely
different places.
And there's this voice
inside of me
that is telling me something
that I don't wanna hear.
Erica, look...
and I'm trying so hard
not to hear it.
I don't think that
we're right for each other.
What?
And there's no amount
of talking
that's gonna fix it,
Ethan.
It's just...
It's a fundamental difference
between us.
You know,
whether it's our sex life,
or my career,
or the future...
I mean every time
I try to step outside
of the box a little,
it's like you keep
trying to push me in.
And I think that
we should break up.
Erica, don't.
You're overreacting.
We're just having
a conversation.
You don't just
give up because--
Ethan, I am not giving up.
But if we keep going,
we're gonna keep pulling
in different directions
until we tear
this thing apart.
And even though...
I can't...
stand the thought of you
not in my life...
I also can't keep shutting out
this voice inside of me
that's telling me
that this isn't right.
I can't believe
this is happening.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Ethan, I'm sorry.
Please, Ethan.
Ethan...
Ethan...
♪ Block all the windows ♪
♪ I know it sounds simple ♪
♪ but you never know
who's listening ♪
♪ turn off the tv ♪
♪ I know it sounds crazy ♪
♪ but I can feel you
coming in ♪
♪ 'cause there's a ghost
in this house ♪
♪ when he sings
it sounds just like you ♪
♪ when he falls
it brings me down too ♪
♪ so I put myself to sleep ♪
♪ and the birds
out on the street ♪
♪ they keep talking
'bout the year ♪
♪ I can hear it ♪
♪ I can hear it ♪
♪ 'cause there's a ghost
in this house ♪
♪ when he sings
it sounds just like you ♪
♪ When he falls
he brings me down too ♪
Honey...
♪ ...Doesn't get easier
to do ♪
hey, are you sure
you wanna have drinks here?
I mean, you know,
you and Ethan...
No, you know what?
It's fine, Jude.
This place has a lot
of memories--
good memories.
Okay, well...
Then you find us a table,
and I will get us
some drinks.
Good.
'Cause I'm unemployed.
You won't find him here.
For some reason,
I kind of knew that.
He quit yesterday.
But Jody signed
the band,
he's already got them
working on
their line-up
for V-fest.
That was fast.
Strike while
the iron's hot.
And Kai?
I mean,
the Kai that I know?
He's... adjusting.
You remember
what it was like.
I do.
Thanks, by the way.
Take care.
Hello, Erica.
Where have you been?
Waiting...
until you were ready.
I broke up with Ethan.
I know.
Kai, he's gone back
where he belongs.
I have no job,
no boyfriend...
And how does that feel?
It feels scary,
but strangely, okay.
And why is that?
It's like...
talking to Ethan,
it made me realize
how much I've changed.
Everything that
you've taught me,
it's made me
braver somehow.
And fear, it no longer
holds me back.
It...
It actually motivates me,
if that makes sense.
"We cannot teach people
anything.
We can only help them
discover it
within themselves."
Galileo.
It's time, Erica.
Choose a door.
♪ ...Knot your fingers
through mine ♪
♪ and we'll walk
from this dark room ♪
♪ for the last time ♪
♪ every minute
from this minute now ♪
♪ we can do what we like... ♪
that one.
Right there.
♪ Tell me that
you'll open your eyes ♪
♪ tell me that
you'll open your eyes ♪
♪ tell me that
you'll open your eyes ♪
♪
You will pack up your desks
and be out before lunch.
What is that?
A manuscript, and it's amazing.
What if we publish it?
Why won't you talk to me about
your therapy?
Someone died because of me.
Travis. How's it going?
Travis's suicide was
incredibly shocking
to all of us,
you know.
And Kai took it
really hard.
♪ 'Cause, baby,
I'm an alien like you ♪
Was "Alien Like You"
one of those songs?
Nah, that was all mine.
I...
In fact, I never finished
writing it.
Erica, starting your
own publishing company,
it's a risky move.
It might not work out.
Why're you being
so negative?
I'm sorry, I just don't think
it's a good idea.
You don't think
it's a good idea?
I think you're
being impulsive.
You know what?
I'm sorry I even brought it up.
Come on, Erica,
you just lost your first job
in publishing
and now you wanna run
your own business?
A lot of people start
their own companies.
A lot of people
also fail at it.
You don't think
that I can do this.
Wow, that's great.
Look, I'm just
being honest.
You don't know anything
about running a business.
Well, then
I'll figure it out.
And what if you can't?
What happens then?
Look, try and be
realistic here.
Do you honestly believe
you're ready, 100%?
Yes.
I...
I don't know.
You're getting ahead
of yourself.
You're jumping in
totally blind.
It's too risky.
Maybe you're right.
Slow and steady
wins the race, okay?
Yeah.
♪ Being Erica 2x12 ♪
The Importance of Being Erica
Original Air Date on December 8, 2009
♪ it's clearer inside of me ♪
♪ who I will always be ♪
♪ open me up to my heart ♪
♪ feels like I'm seeing
in the dark ♪
♪ waking me up to my heart ♪
♪ to do it all over
again and again ♪
♪ until the end ♪
♪ the sum of my dreams ♪
♪ and everything
I ever wanted to be ♪
Have you ever woken up
and had that feeling
like something
just isn't right?
Like you've slept all night,
but still aren't rested?
Like there's a weight,
a heaviness in your heart
that you can't quite name?
Ethan?
Hey.
What're you doing up?
Habit, I guess.
Mm.
How're you feeling?
Good.
You sure?
Yeah.
I mean, everything that
you said last night,
it... it makes sense.
I'm just processing it.
Okay. I love you.
I love you, too.
See you tonight?
Definitely.
Have you ever woken up
in your own bed
and just felt... lost?
Hello?
Rise and shine,
chicken.
Julianne,
it's not even 8:00.
She can tell time,
good,
because our level two
Ashtanga class
starts in less
than an hour.
No.
It's a slippery
slope, Strange.
One morning you sit down
to watch "Oprah."
Two years later,
you're agoraphobic,
morbidly obese,
and sharing your apartment
with 53 cats.
Cautionary tale.
You are not gonna let me
sleep in.
No way, Jose!
Plus, this is yoga and our first
business meeting,
so chop-chop!
I gotta say, your demo...
It's righteous, guys.
A bit raw, of course,
but it's good.
So you, uh...
Got the song I sent,
right?
We did.
The boys have it, we're on it.
Cool. Good to hear.
Any thoughts, Kai?
Yeah, song's okay.
I guess.
It's commercial.
It's not a bad thing,
you know.
See, your sound's
a bit too... garage band.
Right.
But we sign with you,
we sing your song,
you'll get us a record deal.
Overnight.
And if we do,
who steers our ship?
You or us?
I'll tell you what.
I'll bring some guys
from Universal to uh...
this open mic night.
Just play the song
and you'll be golden.
Okay?
But you blow it?
We'll be gone
before the chorus.
Got it?
See ya tonight, boys.
"Who steers our ship?"
Are you insane?
He wants to sign the band.
I know, but we have
to protect ourselves.
I'm serious, man,
if you screw this up for us,
then this whole thing--
the band,
our friendship?
It's over!
Oh!
Hello, stranger.
Hey.
So... I loved it.
The manuscript?
Yeah!
That's great.
Erica.
I liked the book.
You should be happy.
I am. It's just...
Julianne, I don't think
I can do this.
I can't start
a business.
What? Why?
Hi, everyone.
Welcome to class.
My name's Jess.
Just take it at
your own pace today.
And remember
to listen to your body.
Let's begin,
standing with feet
hip-width apart.
Arms at your sides.
... from here,
come to stand on the knees,
to prepare for camel.
Now we're gonna open
our hearts.
Inhale, lift up through
the chest.
Then, as you exhale,
trace your eyes along
the ceiling to the back wall
and reach for your heels.
See if you can lift up
through the chest.
Open...
Open...
And breathe.
You're doing great.
Again.
No, no, it's okay.
It happens.
You're just releasing what
you were feeling.
Excuse me...
I'm sorry.
Erica!
Erica, hold up.
What is it?
What's wrong?
I don't--I don't know.
I'm just, I...
I'm acting insane.
Is this about our plan?
The manuscript?
You said you couldn't do it.
Why not?
Look,
I talked with Ethan
and...
It's too risky.
I'm a junior editor,
and I'm barely that.
Stop.
Listen,
I admit it, yesterday
I was a "Debbie Downer."
But then I thought about
what you said
and I realized
you were right.
We have this amazing
opportunity here
to do something bigger.
And we're smart,
and we have had successes
and we both want this.
Don't you want this?
Well, no risk, no reward,
sister.
Oh, God.
I'm just so confused right now.
Just, just...
Think about it,
okay?
Okay...
You look like a man
on a mission.
I'm done fighting.
Everybody wants me
to finish the stupid regret--
you, Erica.
Now I've had it,
so screw it.
I'm sick of arguing
about it.
What're you gonna do?
I'm gonna finish
the damn song and go back.
The question is:
Are you happy?
Do I look happy?
My apartment runs outta
hot water every morning.
I can barely afford
to eat.
My friends all talk
and act like teenagers.
Me and Travis?
I resent him
and he hates me.
I feel like...
like you've
made things worse, not better.
I'm worn down.
And I get it,
I can't...
I can't save him,
I know--
it doesn't matter
what I do.
This therapy's not about
changing the past, Kai.
It never was.
So what is the point
of it?
That's for you
to figure out.
I am lost, Dr. Tom.
Really? You're three blocks
from your house.
Oh...
that kind of lost.
I mean, Ethan's reasons for
not opening a business
totally make sense.
But what Julianne
had to say...
I mean, it does, too.
So whose advice
do I follow?
Come with me.
I wanna show you something.
"Every wall is a door."
Emerson.
Go ahead.
Push.
Where are we going?
Where indeed.
Choose a door.
Just any door?
Oh, help me out here.
I need some context.
I mean, what am I...
What am I supposed to do
and how do I choose?
One day, Alice came
to a fork in the road
and saw a cheshire cat.
"Which road do I take?"
She asked.
"Where do you want to go?"
Was his response.
"I don't know,"
answered Alice.
"Then," said the cat,
"it doesn't matter."
I don't understand.
It's not complicated.
You can't stay
in this hallway forever.
You have to choose.
But how?!
I mean, how am I supposed
to decide?
Which one feels right?
Honestly, I don't know.
So...
Wait!
Dr. Tom, wait!
You followed me.
Well, where else
was I supposed to go?
Okay.
So, tell me about
"sillyfingers."
Just... okay...
Wait a second.
You just threw me
down the rabbit hole
and I have no idea why.
Can we just please
back up here?
Erica, you had
three choices back there.
Choice one:
Choose a door.
Choice two:
Stay in the hallway,
undecided.
Or choice three:
Follow me.
Okay, so clearly I made
the wrong choice,
but that's just because
I don't understand
what you're trying
to tell me.
Ergo "sillyfingers."
Okay, it was...
It was 1999, I'd just started
my master's program.
I was working part-time
as a T.A.
for my thesis advisor,
Professor Audrey Hogan.
She was this Rhodes scholar,
Phd from Oxford,
and I'd fought to get her.
And then lived to regret it.
She was brilliant,
but she didn't suffer fools.
I mean, everyone
was terrified of her,
including me.
And when she would do something
that would stress me out,
I would email Cassidy--
'cause her office,
it was just down the hall
from mine.
We would write
the most awful things.
This one time, Hogan,
she got me really worked up,
so I emailed Cassidy,
she wrote me back,
and instead
of hitting reply...
I forwarded the message
to Hogan by mistake.
And I didn't even know
that I did it
until an hour later
when she called me
into her office
to inform me
that she was withdrawing
as my thesis advisor.
I was formally reprimanded,
I was assigned
to a new Professor
who basically ignored me.
I used to love academics.
You know,
I thrived in that world,
until my masters.
And it's like Hogan
and that whole
stupid incident,
it... it tarnished it for me.
So, you're saying
that you might have stayed on,
gotten your Phd?
Maybe.
Okay.
And if you could
go back?
Well, obviously,
I wouldn't have sent the email.
Oh.
Okay...
Okay...
No.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Oh shit!
No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no-no-no!
No-no-no-no!
Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God!
Erica, what's wrong?
No, there's no time.
That email?
I- accidentally,
I hit "forward,"
not "reply."
Hogan, not Holland...
Oh, my God.
You sent that, all of that, to her?
Yeah! Come, come on!
Excuse me! Move it!
Abort, abort.
Okay, don't worry,
I got this.
I need to speak
to Professor Hogan.
Oh, I'm sorry,
but she's not in.
Can I give her
a message?
She gave me a "D"
on my Caleb Williams paper.
And I can't get a "D."
Okay, well, I'm afraid
I can't help you.
I'll just call her at home
myself, then.
Hey! Uh,
let me call you back.
Uh, excuse me,
you can't look in there.
Excuse me.
What are you gonna do, huh?
Call security?
It doesn't matter
because Professor Hogan
has already ruined my life.
See, my father was a lawyer
and my father's father
was lawyer,
and his father...
Oh, thank God!
But he worked with lawyers
nonetheless,
and I am the last one!
I wanna go to arbitration,
I want a second opinion.
Cassidy.
Erica.
Erica, I don't know
what I'm gonna do.
This is so unfair,
she failed me!
Oh, you know what?
You're gonna be fine.
Let's go.
Look, Professor Hogan,
she'll be back
any minute.
If your friend
wants to wait...
No, no, I think
that it's better
if she just cools down
for a bit,
thank you.
Oh, if she had gotten
that email,
it would've been so bad.
You have no idea.
"The Importance
of Being Earnest"
is a memorable title.
But what does it
communicate?
What is Wilde trying
to tell us? Yes?
I think he's using the title
to reinforce
the play's message,
which is the importance
of honesty.
All right,
but let's not forget
the recurring theme
of hypocrisy.
Jack is living a lie,
and yet all turns out
well in the end.
Where's the morality
in that?
Erica.
What's your view?
My view. Um...
I think that you both
make very good points.
There's a kind of
unconventional honesty
to the way that Algernon
is living,
whereas Jack,
he appears more conflicted.
Well, thank you
for that summary,
but I asked for
a point of view.
Your own.
It appears
you don't have one.
Come in.
Hello.
Have a seat.
We are meeting to discuss
your thesis proposal, yes?
Yes, but
I was hoping
we could talk about
what happened in class today?
Erica,
my time is valuable.
If you wish to spend it
rehashing
this morning's events,
well, that is your choice.
I think your time
would be better spent
presenting your proposal.
Okay, my proposed thesis
is titled
"The Woman in the Attic:
Hidden feminism
in Bronte's Jane Eyre."
I see.
That's it?
Well, if you must choose
the blandest possible
thesis topic,
who am I to stand
in your way?
Bland?!
Professor Hogan,
I have put a lot of research into this.
Oh, I'm sure you did.
But as thesis topics go,
you must know that
it is pedestrian,
it's boring,
and it's been done.
Regardless,
your thesis is approved.
Thank you.
I didn't even
send the email
and, I swear, she hates me
more than before.
Well, she's crazy,
clearly.
I mean you're
so smart,
so talented,
so adorable...
Okay. Easy.
Just tell her
to shove it.
Really?
Yeah. Just 'cause
the woman has a Phd
doesn't
make her God.
You need to
confront her and tell her off.
Um...
that's the worst idea.
I don't know. When
I stood up to Lozar,
I mean,
things got better.
Yeah, but Lozar wasn't the head of
the English Department.
Oh, my God.
Is that what
they teach you
in teacher's
college, huh?
Hierarchies,
and blind submission?
Why're you chewing
my head off?
Because university
is about passion,
it's about
original thought
and taking a stand.
Think about
the '60s, or Vietnam...
Trust me, most students
in the '60s
weren't sticking flowers
in guns,
or taking acid trips
at Woodstock.
They were at university
to learn and to graduate
and get real jobs.
Okay, I need
to go now.
Oh, wait...
Hey, Cassidy.
No, really.
If everyone was as complacent as
your friend Ethan here,
you and I wouldn't even be
allowed to go to university.
Wow. Someone needs
to chill out.
Seriously, Erica,
you can't afford to alienate
your advisor.
You need to win
Hogan over.
Yeah, but how?
I have no idea
what she wants.
Then ask her.
Get her involved!
People love being asked
for advice.
That's what I would do.
Professor Hogan?
Can I talk to you?
Well, if you can keep up
with me.
I was thinking about
what you said about my thesis.
And, of course,
the last thing I want
is to present a topic
that's underwhelming.
Do you have another
topic in mind?
Actually, I was wondering
if you had any ideas,
or any suggestions.
Are you asking me
to come up with
your thesis proposal?
No, no, I'm just...
I'm just asking
for some guidance.
No. You're asking me
to do the work for you.
Remind me,
why exactly are you in
this Masters program?
Um...
I'm just trying to give you
what you want.
This has nothing
to do with me.
It is your thesis,
your degree, your life.
Figure it out,
Ms. Strange!
And do it with another
thesis advisor.
Frankly, I don't have
the time for this.
Professor Hogan,
you can't just--
Yes. I can.
You find someone else.
I'm withdrawing
as your advisor.
Erica,
what are you doing here?
This is my level 200
class.
I need to talk to you.
Well, I am not going
to change my mind.
I know, but...
I wanna understand what I did
to make you dislike me.
You never answered
my question.
Why are you in
the Masters program?
Because I need my degree.
You need your degree.
You know, Erica,
when I was your age,
there wasn't one female
tenured Professor
in this faculty.
But I didn't care,
because I knew that this was what
I was meant to do.
Do you have any idea
how frustrating it is
to watch students waste years
hiding out in university
when they could be
pursuing their dreams?
And how do you know
I'm hiding out?
Because you can't answer
the most basic question.
Why are you here?
You're a bright girl,
Erica.
What do you want to do
with your life?
I wanna be an editor.
I wanna publish books.
And I wanna start
my own company--
as crazy as that sounds.
You know, Erica?
30 years ago,
when I told my father
that one day
I wanted to chair
the English Department,
he laughed in my face.
Leave the degrees
to the academics;
you follow your heart,
Erica.
Don't you let anyone
try to stop you.
Thank you, Professor.
You're welcome.
Hey, Julianne, uh...
what're you doing right now?
And so, if my crazy
mini nervous breakdown
didn't put you off
the idea,
I would still really
like to do this.
Okay, this morning,
it was all too "risky"
and then now it's...
Peachy?
I mean, Erica,
what's the dealio?
Oh, I don't know.
You know what?
Actually, I do know.
Ethan, he convinced me
that it was a bad idea.
Oh, well,
maybe it is...
for Ethan.
But he's not you.
What does that mean?
Well, no offense,
but Ethan's not exactly...
Jean Claude van Damme.
You know?
I mean,
he plays it pretty safe.
You know,
he'll come around.
Okay.
Look,
I just wanna make sure,
before I say yes,
that you're not gonna change
your mind again,
or let him change it
for you.
I promise.
How "stoked" am I?!
Partner.
Kai?
Hey.
What're you doing here?
I know you said
you needed your space.
I'm not here
to get in the way...
but I need to tell you
something.
Yeah, no, of course.
What's wrong?
Well,
I finished my regret.
I'm finished writing
"Alien Like You,"
but I'm still here.
Why am I still here?
I don't understand.
Is Dr. Fred
just messing with me?
Is this some kind
of test?
Everything is a test
with them.
Hey, listen,
can I ask you?
What...
What made you decide
to finally go through with it?
When I first got here,
things were great.
Travis was alive.
There was no money,
no drugs...
So you decided to stay.
Yeah.
And it was great
for a while.
But I feel like I'm
messing it up with band,
with Travis.
I keep trying
to change things,
it's not working.
Kai, the therapy,
it's...
It's not really about
changing the past.
That's what
Dr. Fred said.
It's true.
You learn that little lesson
pretty quick.
Then what's the point?
What do they want us to do?
Oh, come on, Kai,
it's called "therapy"
for a reason.
I mean changing your past,
it's easy.
But changing yourself?
It's much harder.
You have to figure out
why you're really here.
How?
I honestly--I've got-- I have no idea.
Um...
Okay.
What are you doing?
I am helping you.
Please, have a seat.
Dr. Erica?
Just indulge me.
Sit.
So, Kai Booker,
let's go back
to the beginning.
Please explain to me
why was "Alien Like You"
a regret?
Okay,
if we're gonna do this,
you gotta talk
like a normal person.
Sorry, I just got a little
carried away there.
Please.
Well, that song
was just honest.
It was how I felt
when I wrote it.
I wasn't trying
to please anyone
or sell records.
I was just...
Being true to yourself.
Yeah.
Hmm. If I was Dr. Tom,
I would say...
"This above all,
to thine own self
be true."
Shakespeare.
It sounds better
when he does it,
but you get what I'm saying.
How can you be true to yourself
in your current situation?
What can you do?
So?
So, I guess I should
find the guys, huh?
Yeah.
Can I ask you something?
Sure.
If this all works
and I go back,
what's it gonna be like
when I get there?
The same...
for the most part.
And will I remember
everything?
Will I remember you?
Yes.
Good.
So, should
I look you up?
Please, Kai, don't.
And if you're going to,
don't tell me
because it's just too weird
to think about.
Plus, I'll be 40.
More like 42...
I'm gonna miss you.
But you'll be fine,
right?
I mean...
you got Ethan.
I bet you won't even
notice I'm gone.
Yes, I will.
Erica...
Hey...
Go. I'll come
and see you after.
Okay.
Okay.
Now, folks,
put your hands together
and give it up
for my favorite band--
Head.
Hey, man.
I'm sorry I've been
letting you down.
No worries.
You okay, man?
Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm great.
Hey, how's everybody
doin' tonight?
We're gonna play
a song for you.
It's called
"Alien Like You."
Took me a while
to finish it,
so you're
the first ones
to hear this song
in its entirety.
What the hell
are you doing?
Come on, man.
♪ I know what
you're feeling ♪
♪ it's hard
to believe in ♪
♪ that home must be
millions ♪
♪ and millions
of light-years away ♪
♪ so let the stars align ♪
♪ let the water make wine ♪
♪ 'cause broken souls
will become whole tonight ♪
♪ oh, tonight... ♪
♪ we know it's right, so... ♪
♪ lift your eyes
and let me in ♪
♪ 'cause, baby,
I'm an alien like you ♪
♪ will you ever
let me be an alien... ♪
♪ with you ♪
♪ Aren't you tired
of running ♪
♪ from what
you're becoming ♪
♪ the truth is
it's useless ♪
♪ there's nowhere to go ♪
♪ it's not going to find you ♪
♪ so let the heavens flare ♪
♪ and let's not be scared ♪
♪ 'cause we know love's
a world above this one ♪
♪ it's like the sun, so... ♪
♪ lift your eyes
and let me in ♪
♪ 'cause, baby,
I'm an alien like you ♪
♪ will you ever let me be
an alien... ♪
♪ with you ♪
So, guys,
it's time to hire a lawyer.
You'll need to, uh, sign
some contracts tomorrow.
You got balls playing
a song like that.
Good job, huh?
Nice work.
Kai!
That was incredible!
Thank you.
I mean, it was just...
It was...
It was perfect!
And I am so glad
that you sang that song.
I'm sorry,
I don't mean to be rude,
but I have a terrible memory
for names.
Who are you again?
I'm nobody.
I'm just a fan.
Thank you.
Hey, there.
Where were you?
Look, I'm sorry,
I shoulda left a message.
But I just got caught up
and then, before I knew it,
it was late and...
Hey, did you
have dinner?
There's some left over
pasta in the fridge.
If you're hungry,
I could heat it up.
No, thanks,
I'm not really hungry.
Um...
Look, Ethan...
I...
There's a lot going on
in my head right now
and I kinda need
to talk about it.
Okay, let's talk.
Okay, well, I...
I met with Julianne today.
And I told her that
I am gonna go
into business with her.
I see.
Okay, well...
what do you expect me to say?
I want you to say
that you understand
and that you get how much
this means to me.
I can't because I don't.
I don't understand
why you wanna take on
that kind of stress
and turn your life
upside down.
Because it's exciting
and it's challenging.
And I know that you're
just looking out for me,
but please,
just back me up
on this one.
Okay?
No. I'm sorry.
Ethan... it's my career.
Yes, but this is our life
together, Erica.
We have to start
thinking about the future
and what we want.
Okay, and what is that,
exactly?
Not this. Not you running
from job to job
and getting fired
one day
and then opening
a business the next.
I mean, come on.
You know, if the situation
was reversed--
You'd support me.
I'm being a shitty boyfriend
because I'm being honest.
No. Look that's not what I'm saying.
Well the situation
wouldn't be reversed,
'cause I wouldn't
do this.
So... there's nothing else
that you want?
I mean, you've...
You've got it all?
Yes. I have a career
that I love,
and good friends.
And I have you.
And in ten years from now?
Ten years?
We're married,
we have kids,
a dog and a house.
And I'm still teaching,
and you're working,
and life's simple.
And we'll be happy.
Hey...
Are you crying?
No. I'm not crying,
I'm not crying.
I'm just...
I am freaking out
right now.
I thought you
wanted this.
I did.
But right now we are...
we are in completely
different places.
And there's this voice
inside of me
that is telling me something
that I don't wanna hear.
Erica, look...
and I'm trying so hard
not to hear it.
I don't think that
we're right for each other.
What?
And there's no amount
of talking
that's gonna fix it,
Ethan.
It's just...
It's a fundamental difference
between us.
You know,
whether it's our sex life,
or my career,
or the future...
I mean every time
I try to step outside
of the box a little,
it's like you keep
trying to push me in.
And I think that
we should break up.
Erica, don't.
You're overreacting.
We're just having
a conversation.
You don't just
give up because--
Ethan, I am not giving up.
But if we keep going,
we're gonna keep pulling
in different directions
until we tear
this thing apart.
And even though...
I can't...
stand the thought of you
not in my life...
I also can't keep shutting out
this voice inside of me
that's telling me
that this isn't right.
I can't believe
this is happening.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Ethan, I'm sorry.
Please, Ethan.
Ethan...
Ethan...
♪ Block all the windows ♪
♪ I know it sounds simple ♪
♪ but you never know
who's listening ♪
♪ turn off the tv ♪
♪ I know it sounds crazy ♪
♪ but I can feel you
coming in ♪
♪ 'cause there's a ghost
in this house ♪
♪ when he sings
it sounds just like you ♪
♪ when he falls
it brings me down too ♪
♪ so I put myself to sleep ♪
♪ and the birds
out on the street ♪
♪ they keep talking
'bout the year ♪
♪ I can hear it ♪
♪ I can hear it ♪
♪ 'cause there's a ghost
in this house ♪
♪ when he sings
it sounds just like you ♪
♪ When he falls
he brings me down too ♪
Honey...
♪ ...Doesn't get easier
to do ♪
hey, are you sure
you wanna have drinks here?
I mean, you know,
you and Ethan...
No, you know what?
It's fine, Jude.
This place has a lot
of memories--
good memories.
Okay, well...
Then you find us a table,
and I will get us
some drinks.
Good.
'Cause I'm unemployed.
You won't find him here.
For some reason,
I kind of knew that.
He quit yesterday.
But Jody signed
the band,
he's already got them
working on
their line-up
for V-fest.
That was fast.
Strike while
the iron's hot.
And Kai?
I mean,
the Kai that I know?
He's... adjusting.
You remember
what it was like.
I do.
Thanks, by the way.
Take care.
Hello, Erica.
Where have you been?
Waiting...
until you were ready.
I broke up with Ethan.
I know.
Kai, he's gone back
where he belongs.
I have no job,
no boyfriend...
And how does that feel?
It feels scary,
but strangely, okay.
And why is that?
It's like...
talking to Ethan,
it made me realize
how much I've changed.
Everything that
you've taught me,
it's made me
braver somehow.
And fear, it no longer
holds me back.
It...
It actually motivates me,
if that makes sense.
"We cannot teach people
anything.
We can only help them
discover it
within themselves."
Galileo.
It's time, Erica.
Choose a door.
♪ ...Knot your fingers
through mine ♪
♪ and we'll walk
from this dark room ♪
♪ for the last time ♪
♪ every minute
from this minute now ♪
♪ we can do what we like... ♪
that one.
Right there.
♪ Tell me that
you'll open your eyes ♪
♪ tell me that
you'll open your eyes ♪
♪ tell me that
you'll open your eyes ♪
♪