Being Erica (2009–2011): Season 1, Episode 1 - Dr. Tom - full transcript

You know that friend you have?

The girl who seems
to have it all figured out?

She's got the great job,
the great guy, the great life...?

Well... I'm not that girl.

My name is Erica Strange.

I'm 32. Still working
a dead end job.

Still sleeping with my cat.

I know people wonder why the cute
girl with the great education

and the great friends can't
get it together.

There's a simple answer:

Bad decisions.



I could teach a course on
messing up your life.

Really, I am that good at
getting everything wrong.

The worst part is,
it wasn't always like this.

I used to be a rising star,
but these days...

I just feel like a flame out.

WTP insurance, this is Erica speaking,
how can I help you?

Yes sir, were you planning on
purchasing a policy with us?

Uh-huh, and how many people
would you like to insure?

Uh, let me put you through
to another agent.

Okay, okay.

So, I know it's my fault
my life is where it's at,

but I figure I gotta catch a
break some time, right?

- He fired you?
- He said I was too bright

for the job.



Well, that's wrongful dismissal.

I mean, clearly you can't fire
someone for being too smart.

It's just embarrassing.
I mean, I have a master's degree

and I can't keep a customer service job.

I'm sorry, I...

I want to talk about this
but I've got a meeting.

Will you call me tonight after your date?

- Yeah.
- Lava life, right?

- What's his name?
- Trevor.

Oh, yeah, the dentist.

- Third date?
- Yeah.

Wow, you're excited.

Well, we had some trouble
setting this one set up.

I mean, he keeps telling me how busy he is
and you know what that means.

That he's fixing teeth.

Come on, Erica, I mean,
he's cute, he's smart,

he's got a great job and
he's into you. I mean...

Three dates?

Three dates means you're basically together.

If we're basically together I guess
I shouldn't be looking up

- Noah LaFleur on Facebook, right?
- Wait, Noah from High School?

Come on, the past is the past.

Go out with the dentist, you know?

Flash your beautiful smile of yours and just...

just have a good time.

All right, bye.

- Love ya.
- Love ya.

- Hi, Trevor.
- Have you, um...

- have you left yet?
- Uh-huh, yeah, I'm just on my way.

Why? Is there something wrong?

I'm sorry about this.
I'm gonna have to cancel.

- Why? Are you okay?
- Not really.

I haven't gone to the gym
in two weeks and I just, uh,

I'm out of shape, I don't feel like myself.

All right, well, I gotta jet. The weight room
gets really packed in the evenings.

- So, I'll talk to you later.
- Okay, bye.

Excuse me!

Taxi!

Can I offer you a mocha mint latte sample?

Thanks. Thanks.

Excuse me...

Excuse me...

Was there any almonds or
walnuts in that latte?

Any nuts in the latte?

Yeah, it's actuallythe hazelnut
mocha mint latte.

Can you please call an ambulance?

Erica Strange?

That's me.

- How are you feeling?
- I'm feeling a little better.

What happened?

I'm allergic to nuts and I had this
mocha mint lappa-frip.

- Frappa...
- I mean, before that.

Anything else happen today?
Anything particularly...

- upsetting?
- Yes, I was...

fired from my job and dumped.
Sort of.

So, all in all, a pretty bad day.

I'm sorry, you're a doctor, right?

In a manner of speaking.

I'm a therapist.

I don't need a therapist.

I had an allergic reaction.

Well, tell me if I'm getting warm, okay?

It's not just that today was bad,

it's every day.

It's the feeling that...

nothing seems to work out for you.

Still single. All those nights
alone with the cat.

All your successful married friends
feeling bad for you.

Am I getting warm?

Who are you?

"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity."

Albert Einstein.

Well...

you think about it.

And if you're interested,
you can give me a call.

Careful, sweetheart, it still might be hot.

Thanks. Look, I gotta get home.
Where are my clothes?

Oh, you're not leaving. You're staying here
'til you get some rest.

- Please, mom, don't be paranoid. I'm fine.
- I'm not paranoid.

Judith's called four times, your sister's
beside herself, and your dad...

- Mom,I hope you were nice.
- I'm always nice.

Oh! Come on.

Surprise! Your sister's here!
Hi, sweetheart.

- Oh my god, are you okay? How are you feeling?
- Hello, Sam. Good, I'm fine.

- Good. Good, good,we're good.
- How's my girl?

Hey, aunt Roberta. Wow.

Uncle Joe. Mom, what's going on?

I made a nice brunch so you
can visit with everyone.

Great. What an awesome idea.

Come, come, everyone sit. Eat.

Nice pajamas.

- It's perfect brunch attire.
- Don't.

It's in Forest Hill, and I wouldn't
exactly call it little.

It's brand new.

I hope you'll take some time off to enjoy it.

Sam, take time off? No, she's a typical
surgeon, she loves to work.

Unlike you, of course. You're the only
slacker investment banker I know.

So, erica, how's the job?
It's the call center,right?

- Uh, I'm not working there anymore.
- Oh.

Anyone hiring?

What kind of position are you looking for, dear?

Oh, you know,a food stylist,
a calligrapher, cat psychic.

Something that suits my unique abilities.

So, what? You just quit without
finding another job first?

- What?!
- Erica, tell us about

that guy you've been dating.
The one from Lava Life.

- He's a doctor you know.
- Dentist, actually.

And I'm not dating him anymore.

- Yeah.
- Oh, no.

No, it didn't work out.

He spits a lot when he talks, so...

and he has herpes.

In both places, so I just...

I, uh, I felt at risk and...

great dentist though. Trevor Markowitz.
Tell your friends.

Did anyone else catch
the debate last night?

Well, seriously now, erica, when
are you gonna get a real job?

- An MBA would, would be...
- A foot in the door at least.

I agree, Joe. I mean,
you're beautiful, smart.

Maybe I have the answer.
I know a really great therapist.

- Excuse me.
- Oh, Erica.

She's always been my
sensitive daughter.

You know what? Don't, okay?
I know what you all think.

That there's something wrong with me.

That Erica, she's so pretty and...

and so bright, and such a friggin'
disappointment. I get it. And um...

I'm suffocating under the weight of your
collective disapproval.

Erica! Erica, unlock this door right now!

Erica, come on, we want to apologize.

I made your favourite dinner, for what?

Come on out.

Sorry, I don't have any change.

Oh, man.

- Can I help you?
- Uh, yes, um, I just wanted some information.

Oh, Dr. Tom is between patients at the moment.
You can go right up.

Please...

have a seat.

"Curiosity...

does no less than devotion, pilgrims make."

Abraham Cowley.

You must be wondering how
this whole thing works.

- Well... kinda. Yeah.
- Full disclosure:

My brand of therapy is not traditional.

I don't claim to have a lot
of letters after my name,

but I what I will say is this...

whatever it is that you are
unhappy about, I can fix it.

And all I ask from you is that
you make a commitment.

Now I'm not really interested
in working with fence-sitters.

you're gonna have to agree to see things
through to the very end.

And I, for my part, will promise you
that you'll emerge

from therapy with your problems solved.

Isn't that a lot of pressure for you?

"Pressure makes diamonds."

General George S. Patton.

It's not really about me, is it?
It's about you.

So...

what seems to be the problem?

Sorry. Why're you here?

Uh, why am I here? Um...

I don't know. I just...

you know, I just...

I just keep thinking that, you know, things weren't
supposed to be this way.

You know, I always thought I'd grow up
and I'd get a great career, and I'd

meet a fabulous guy, and I'd have
an amazing life and...

- What happened to that?
- I blew it.

I mean, I had everything going for me
and I screwed it up.

- How?
- Bad choices.

You know, most people, they
have a few regrets.

I got tons.

There are so many things that I would've
done differently. Uh...

Like what?

Like what? What are they, these bad choices,
these regrets of yours?

Well, like I said there's a whole bunch.

Would you like me to pick one?

You know what?

Why don't you... write them down.

Seriously?

Just point form.

How much time you got?

It was a... joke.

- How's it going?
- It's going.

I mean, there's more,
of course, but, um...

these are the ones that
keep me up at night.

Thank you.

What about this one?

Why that one?
That's weird 'cause, uh...

It happened in grade 11
at the fall dance.

It's like the biggest
formal of the year.

It was supposed to be the best night ever.

I was gonna make out with Noah
and dance my ass off.

A bunch of friends and I,
we got some vodka.

We were drinking it, but...

I drank the most, and an hour into it
I could barely stand.

My friends, I mean they
thought it was hilarious

until I completely fell apart.

I passed out on the dance floor.
I was vomiting, convulsing...

it was a nightmare. And...

after that, I mean, my boyfriend Noah...

broke up with me. And, uh...

and all the kids in school they
talked for ages about

how I was this big slut

and how I'd ruined
the dance for everyone.

And I know this sounds like...

some dumb high school thing, but,

that night, it really changed my life.

It changed the way that everyone
in school saw me.

- it changed the way that I saw myself.
- You care a lot about

what other people think
about you, don't you?

- Not really. I mean...
- You know what?

This has been very interesting.
It's really... it's been illuminating,

but, unfortunately, until you're ready
to make a decision,

there's not that much
I can do for you.

- A decision? You mean...
- Yeah, no, I mean, you need to decide.

Do you wanna jump off the cliff?
Do you wanna...

fix your life or not?

- I need to decide right now?
- Yeah, right now.

Uh, I'm sorry, but...

coming here is starting to feel
like another bad decision.

Oh, well, what's one more then, really?

I can't believe because I won't give
you an answer right now...

I mean, you haven't even told me
how much this therapy costs.

Did I ask you for any money?

No. I asked you a simple question.

Do you wanna fix your problems or not?

Yes or no?

Yes!

Good.

Okay, then answer me this.

If you could go back to that day and do it over,

What would you do differently?

I'd uh...

I'd uh...

I would make that night
what it should've been,

you know, the best night of the year.

I'd...

Is there a window open in here?
It's really cold.

It's uh...

It's uh...

Help me!

- Oh my god, careful!
- Katie?!

You are such a spaz.
Look, I can't talk.

I gotta go pick up my dress.
We are gonna look crazy hot!

Best night ever! Seth is hooking us
up with some vodka.

How great is that?
We are gonna get loaded.

Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Katie, what year is it?

You're hilarious.

This isn't happening.

Hey, I just saw the yearbook layout,
it looks great.

Mr. Leeds?

Yeah, I don't think you'll have any
problem getting that approved.

I think it... it looks great. Are you okay?
Are you all right?

No, I'm not. I can't...
I can't talk really... right now.

Dad? Dad?

Everything okay?

- Where's mom?
- At work.

It's four o'clock.

- How's it going?
- S-sam?

Josh, come on.

So dad's in the living room smoking pot

and my 13-year-old brother-in-law
just checked me out.

If this is a dream it's scary real.

I have no words.

Well, maybe three: What the hell?!

Apparently, back in high school...

Panicking here. Stop.

What did he say?

Okay, he asked me if I wanted
to fix my problems.

He asked me if I could go back
and do it differently.

That's it, let's do it differently.

Just fix it and then go home.

Okay. Okay, I can do that.

Yeah.

Good morning, Blue Jay fans.

It's 7:30 and 16 degress
in downtown toronto.

Here is a little something
special to start your day.

Oh boy.

Seriously?

It's like a swimsuit. I can do that.

- Good morning.
- Morning.

Come here, Miss computer expert.

I'm trying to load this, but it keeps coming up
"syntax error". What do I do?

Do, star, comma, eight,
comma, one.

Yeah, that's right.

You use that stupid thing every day, Gary.

You'd think you'd have the hang of it by now.
Eggs, Erica?

Dad?

We gotta get going.

- Suitcase is in the trunk.
- Okay.

- Bye sisters.
- Bye, Leo.

I'll be back at christmas.

Enjoy your day.

- What can I get for you?
- Can I get a coffee, please?

Milk or sugar?
Or you change your mind?

What did you do?

Did you hypnotize me?
Did you drug me? Because this...

- I didn't sign up for this and I want out, now.
- Oh boy.

The world is full of fence-sitters.

You know, you sit on a fence long enough
and you're liable to fall off.

- What is that, Plato?
- No, I just made that up.

"The life which is unexamined,
is not worth living".

That's Plato.

- Look, I am not a fence-sitter, okay?
- Okay.

You think I'm... I'm supposed to accept
that I'm just like what

time travelling? Because this,
this can't be for real.

Feels real enough.

What about paradoxes, huh?
Butterfly effect? Back to the future?

- I love that movie.
- If I change the past,

if I don't get drunk,
won't that cause, like,

world war III in the present?

Or is it possible that your alcohol consumption,
though very important to you,

might not play a role influencing world events?

That's it? You're just gonna stand there,
eat your hot dog and make fun of me?

You came to me because
you wanted a coffee.

- I wanted help.
- And I'm giving you what you need.

I'm giving you what you asked for.

"We learn by doing, there is no other way."

John Holt.

Next!

Dogs?

Have a good day.

"We learn by doing," huh?

Right, dance my ass off,
make out with Noah.

Okay, first things first, remember
my locker combination.

Yes.

We have to talk.

Yeah, we just want to make
sure that you're okay.

Oh, I'm fine.

You were acting a little weird yesterday.

Okay, did you do schrooms without us?

What?

No.

Hey, baby.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Do wanna go find a supply closet?

I don't know. What's...
what's gotten into you?

Maybe I've changed.

- Do you like it?
- Hell yeah.

Good.

My boyfriend.

Sam! Josh is here.

Hello, epi-lady.

Yikes!

It's, it's...

it's not that I'm not enjoying this,
but, but, you know, the...

dance is happening out there, and,
and we're in here and uh...

Oh, did you wanna stop? Did you wanna-
'cause we could go inside.

Not really.

Do you have any condoms?

Where are they?

I knew it.

What're you... what are you doing?

You have no idea how long
I've thought about this.

Whoa, Erica, st-stop.
Stop! Stop, stop.

What?

You don't want to?

No.

Why?

Well, because I, um...

because... I don't want to be jammed
up against the steering wheel

in my sisters car the
first time we have sex.

Hey, come on, what's the matter?

What's this rush all of a sudden?
Why not just wait?

Why not wait?

Very good question,"why not wait?"

And I just I... I think waiting's overrated.
Patience is overrated.

"It'll happen when it's meant to"
is overrated.

Sometimes when you wait, you lose,

you miss your chance,

and I don't want to miss
my chance with you, Noah.

Jesus.

You're not gonna miss anything,
we can have sex tomorrow.

Tomorrow? What if we break up
tomorrow, huh?

What if we break up tomorrow and
I spend the next 16 years

dating guys that I have no chemistry with?
And then I wake up one day

and I'm like 32-years-old,
I'm still single

and I'm still wondering what it would
have been like to sleep with you?

Yep. Right there.

I'm gonna go park the car.

Yeah, and um...

maybe you should just...
maybe you should go inside?

- That's yours I think.
- Thank you.

Hey! Thank god you're here.
Everyone is talking about you.

Some kid in grade 9 started this rumor
that he saw you, like,

doing it with, like, a vibrator.

Oh, you've gotta be kidding me.
No... no, it's not true.

The little punk's tellin' the world
he saw you naked?

- Well, it's a lie.
- It's more of a misunderstanding.

A misunderstanding... involving you

- and a vibrator.
- Okay, let's just say that I was shaving

and that there was a little problem.

Is that him? Is that... hey!

Talking about my girlfriend?
Huh? Come here!

No, it's all right. It's all right.

Josh and I are gonna spend
a few minutes in the parking lot.

Seriously!

He's just a little kid.
He's half your size.

Josh, goodbye.

Look,I know that you're upset,
but attacking him like that is not okay.

What the hell is wrong with you?

What's wrong with you?
He's just a little kid.

He's trying to get attention.
I mean what do you care?

No, you know what? Here's a better question:
Why don't you care?

All right, first, you act like
some nympho, out in the car,

now you're lecturing me,
like you're my mom.

And in the meantime, the whole school
is acting like your some...

- skank!
- Wh-what?!

Are you okay?

You keep asking me that.

Maybe I should ask you, are you okay?

I'm fine.

Good. That makes one of us.

Because I was thinking
chaperoning these events,

it can't be that much fun for you.

It's all right. It's a little, uh...

boring and ridiculous.
I mean, how do you do it?

Being in high school all day,
dealing with this...

solipsistic bullshit?!

God, teenagers are idiots.

I mean it, it's true.
People say it because it's true.

And the confusing thing is, is that physically,

I mean, they look like adults.

So... I mean, a 17-year-old's body,
it's gorgeous.

So, if you don't think about it too hard,
you can convince yourself

that they're like...

but then you really start
talking to them and...

it's like...

Yeah.

Um, sor... sorry.

Maybe I should go find my friends.

But thank you for the...

Uh, did you want a hot dog?

Uh, if the point was for me
to change my past, I did.

'Cause there's the dance and
here's me, and I'm totally sober.

So?

So? What?

Oh, that's good.

Congratulations.

You know what? Go to hell, seriously.

"Do not weep. Do not wax indignant.
Understand."

Baruch Spinoza.

Understand what?

I don't understand, I don't
understand anything.

- Why're you crying?
- Because you won't help me.

And you've trapped me in this nightmare
where you offer me hot dogs

and quotes that make no sense, but you won't
tell me what I have to do. You won't...

I'm not sure what it is that
you want from me.

I want to know what I have to do.

Is this ever gonna be over?
I mean, am I just stuck here?

Well, no one's ever stuck...
anywhere.

You are where you need to be right now.

And when you're finished doing
whatever it is that

you're meant to be doing,
then you move on.

What is it that I am meant to be doing?
What is my goal here?

- What is my purpose?
- "If life's journey be endless,

where is its goal?
The answer is...

it's everywhere."

Raindranath Tagore.

God! I like him.

Erica, there you are.

Come on.

Pass the vodka.

Where's Noah?

I dunno. Where's the vodka?

- What're you doing?
- Nothing, it's just...

I don't want you to overdo it, okay?
You're kind of hammered.

That's kinda the point.

God, Erica, what's your damage?

What's my... what's my damage?

You've been acting like, no offense,
a bitch for the past two days.

She doesn't want me to overdo it.

Okay, you know what?
Fine, here, go ahead.

It's none of my business,
you can do what you want.

Katie's right, you're totally
wrecking this for everyone.

Wrecking what?
This is... this is ridiculous.

I can't even believe that I'm
having this conversation.

I'm just saying, first
you yell at Noah,

then you won't drink with us, like...

Look, I decided not to drink and
that is my prerogative.

Y-you decided not to drink?

Like, since when?!
Like, what the hell?!

Then you come down here and
tell Katie "she's had enough."

Who died and made you the boss of her?

Nobody. You know what? I'm leaving.

- That's great.
- Oh, I'm sorry...

That's just really disgusting.

Katie, maybe you should've listened, huh?

Hey, I'll, I'll do that. I'll do it.

Go deal with... ugh! That.

Oh, my dress.

Jenny, honey, I need you to come here.

Listen, I have extra gym clothes
in my locker, it's 12, 33, 24.

Okay, listen, 12, 33, 24.
Just take this,

dump it in there and bring back
my gym clothes, okay?

12, 33, 24.

12, 33, 24. Oh god.

Hey, Katie, honey,
how are you doing?

Katie, please. Katie, Katie, Katie.
Wake up. Come on.

Come on. Come on.
Open your eyes. Shit!

Somebody, we need help!

Somebody please help us! Please!

Hello?!

No, don't-don't-don't-don't.
I don't even know how to do this.

Somebody help me! Somebody!

Shit! Shit!

- Is she gonna...
- I just called her parents.

They're gonna meet her at the hospital.

Thank you.

Judith?

Judith, what are you doing here?

Do we know each other?

Uh... no, sorry. I, I just thought
that you were, um...

I just got confused.

Forget it.

Can I speak with you, please?

- I wanted to find out if you're...
- Okay?

Now I don't want to pry, but if
you need someone to talk to,

I'm available, you know.
Or I can recommend someone.

No, I... thank you.
I don't think a therapist

- is really what I need right now.
- Listen, Erica...

I mean, it's nice of you to take
an interest, though.

It's just it's really, it's...
it's complicated.

- It is?
- Yeah, it is. Um...

maybe you've noticed that I've been
acting a little strange lately,

a little unlike myself, but...

and that would be because
I'm not really myself.

- You're not?
- No.

This is gonna make me sound crazy, but
the truth is, is that I'm from the future.

Wow, that sounds even more crazy
out loud than it does in my head.

Look, I'm a 32-year-old woman, and
I'm stuck inside a 16-year-old body

and I know that you're not gonna
believe me, but I'm telling you anyways,

because you, you seem nice
and normal, and my age.

Actually, you're probably
a little bit younger.

You don't believe me, right?
Of course you don't believe...

I'm just gonna... forget it.
Ignore me is...

- I wanna help you.
- The only way you could help me

is if you believe me and I know
that that's impossible.

What the really unbelievable thing is,
is that I screwed it up again.

God, I'm such an idiot and...

and now you're standing
here, you're thinking,

"crazy girl just walked naked
through the formal."

Actually, you know,
I was thinking...

that you did what you had to do,

to get your friend the help that she needed.

And, under the circumstances,
I wouldn't say that that's crazy,

I'd say that that's... brave.

I know you've had a difficult night...

You have no idea.

And I know that some of the students
are probably gonna talk.

That's the story of my life.

- God, it's really cold.
- Why don't we go inside

and we can talk and I'll call your parents
and they can come and pick you up, okay?

Uh, I'm just gonna get home, just...

I'm really exhausted and...

it's time for me to go home.

Yes!

Oh, thank god, Erica. I have been
worried sick about you.

Why aren't you answering your phone?

What is the point of having a phone
unless you answer the phone?

Hey, dad?

Thank god, you're safe.

You know I called the police when
you jumped out the window.

Well, of course she jumped.
I would jump if I were her.

- Okay, Gary, don't start.
- Um, wh-what time is it?

- Two o'clock.
- I called you at least 15 times.

Okay, so it was just...

we just had brunch an hour ago?

Yes.

Um, Trevor... mom and dad,
this is trevor.

- The doctor?
- Dentist. He's a dentist.

- Nice to meet you.
- Likewise.

So, I was in the neighbourhood,
plans fell through,

- thought I'd drop by.
- Oh, how lovely.

Am I interrupting anything?

- No, no. Yes, we were.
- We were just leaving.

You wanna grab a bite?

Yeah? You gonna...

get changed first?

People might think you look a little strange.

Right.

But you know what?
Actually, so what?

Seriously, at least I'm dressed.
Right?

On second thought, Trevor,
I think that we should skip that bite.

I don't wanna waste your time.

Actually, I don't wanna waste mine.

So, I'm gonna jet.

That's impossible.

- Here you are.
- What happened to your office?

I don't routinely keep an office.
You know, I find that too...

confining.

Oh, I apologize, I'm not able
to chat with you right now.

But our next session will begin shortly.
I have your list.

- Oh, no, wait, wait,wait, wait.
- We have a lot of work to do, you and me.

No, I'm just kidding.
But you did make a commitment.

No! What commitment?!
You set me up.

You set me up and I
humiliated myself. Again.

Only this time, I really gave
everyone something to talk about.

As always, it's what
everyone else thinks.

What, you expect me not to care?

Is that the whole point of this exercise?
Because if it is,

guess what? I failed.

Because I still care, and
I'm always gonna care!

- You realize you're screaming.
- So?!

So when you blew off that dentist,

you cared that your parents were
gonna be disappointed, right?

- Yes. But that...
- And when you walked through

- that gymnasium, you cared that
everybody was staring at you?
- Yes!

- But you did it anyway?
- Yeah, because I had to.

We don't have to do anything.

You know what?
Screw this! I am done.

No, you're not done! I never expected
you to stop caring, Erica.

I just wanted you to stop letting
that get in your way.

You didn't fail, Erica.

With your parents' opinions, and your,
and your friends' opinions,

Yeah, of course, they're
always gonna matter...

they just don't matter
as much as your own.

I have to leave now.

I'll see you soon.

Wait.

Change.

Sometimes it sneaks
up on you.

Sometimes it hits
you over the head.

And sometimes...
you turn a corner

only to find you're different
in some small way

and the world, it doesn't
look quite like it used to.

So where do I go from here?

No idea.

And for the first time I feel
like that's a good thing.