Becker (1998–2004): Season 6, Episode 6 - Afterglow - full transcript

II

Hey, Jake, got any money?

Whoa, whoa, you don't...
you don't just bust in

and hit somebody up for money.

You gotta... you gotta
ease into it.

You know, try
a little conversation.

Maybe... maybe some flattery.

You're right.

So, you're looking good.

-Hell no.
-Come on!

I got the investment
of a lifetime.



Coffee futures.

El Nifio conditions have led
to an early frost in Brazil,

which means coffee prices
are gonna go through the roof.

We get in now, we're rich.

Oh, that's different. No!

Hey, Chris, you got any money?

Oh, sorry. Love your hair.

-Got any money?
-Uh...

I just spent the morning

crawling around my bathroom
floor trying to fix my sink.

Does it sound like I got money?

Hey, handsome, got any money?

No.

This doesn't work at all.



Give it up, Hector.

All right, fine,
don't listen to me.

But you'll all be sorry.

Oh, yes, you'll be very sorry.

So, you want some breakfast?

No, just coffee to go.

Busy day, huh?

-The usual.
-Yeah, me, too.

The sink in the bathroom
is broken.

I'm trying to fix it myself.

I mean,
who can afford a plumber?

Yeah. Plumbers.

So, we having dinner tonight?

Yeah, great.

Yeah. Have a nice day.

You, too.

Wow.

Unless he had his hand
down your shirt,

that was the dullest
conversation I've ever heard.

-You noticed that, too, huh?
-Uh-huh.

I thought maybe once we got
into a relationship,

he'd open up a little,
talk more.

-That's funny, most people
want him to talk less. -I know.

I meant normal,
everyday couple conversation.

You know, the kind of things
men and women say to each other.

-Yeah, I know exactly
what you mean. -Yeah.

Like, "I love you."

"Oh, the sex was amazing."

"Why don't we have sex anymore?"

"Who the hell is Stan?"

"All right, leave, you slut!"

That-that kind of thing, right?

Yeah, yeah, that, uh...
that kind of thing.

Well, it's about time!

Uh, Margaret, check your watch.
It's 8:59.

I'm a minute early.

Oh, well, that's great,

but I would be
a little more impressed

if you bothered
to show up yesterday.

Where were you?
I had to cover for you all day.

Yeah, I feel bad about that.

Uh, no, I don't.

Margaret, I met the one.

Oh, no, not another one.

No, the one.

This gorgeous guy, Steve,
moved across the hall from me.

Yesterday we got in the elevator
at the same time,

and the minute our eyes met,
I knew.

I swear, Margaret,
I heard bells.

Mmm. Bells?

You know, you told me
when you met Lewis,

you heard bells.

Well, that was different.

He was driving
an ice-cream truck.

All right, what does
this "the one" do?

So far, I haven't found
anything he can't do.

Oh, you mean for a living.

He's a lawyer, he's rich,
and I liked him

before I knew that,
which makes me a good person.

Linda, I am glad that you found
someone special again.

But you can't just take
a day off whenever you want.

I could if you'd lie for me.

Well, I won't.

And even if I wanted to,
I can't.

I'm no good at it.

That's why I keep saying
you should let me teach you.

-Morning.
-MARGARET: Good morning, John.

How are you?

Not bad.

Stopped by the diner, had a nice
conversation with Chris.

Now I'm here
in time to see... Mr. Fretts.

Oh, yeah...
pathetic little weasel.

Oh, look, he's got hemorrhoids.

Now he can be a pain
in his own ass.

Oh, and, uh, you have
Dana McCall in room one.

All right.

Where the hell
were you yesterday?

What are you talking about?
I was right here.

I helped you with that patient.

You yelled at me.
I got you lunch.

By the way,
you owe me five bucks.

0h, right, right, right.

Well, take it out of petty cash.

Class dismissed.

Dana, how are you?

Why do doctors
always ask that?

If I was good,
I wouldn't be here.

Good point. Stupid question.

All right, what the hell's
wrong with you?

(sighs) It's my foot.

It's kind of been tingling.

I'm training for a marathon,
and I want to make sure

I'm not doing anything
really stupid.

You mean other
than running 26 miles

without someone chasing you?

Are you, uh...

are you experiencing
any numbness

or tingling anywhere else?

Yeah, actually, back here.

Does it get worse
when you're in a hot shower?

Yes. How did you know that?

The guy who sold me
those diplomas told me.

It's probably just
a pinched nerve,

but why don't we get you in
for an MRI and check it out.

Then you can go run
your silly little race.

What do you have
against the marathon?

Uh, it just gets my hopes up.

You know, in the beginning,

it looks like 20,000 idiots
are leaving the city,

but then they make this big loop
and come right back in.

I know, Steve.
I feel the same way, too.

I can't wait to see you tonight,
either.

(clearing throat)

On the phone.

I love you.
No, I love you more.

I love... I gotta go.

(sighs) That was Steve.

We met yesterday, and I already
know he's the one.

He invited me over tonight
to meet his father.

Isn't that romantic,

or should I just get the hell
out of your office?

The second one!

Leaving already?

Sorry it's been so busy.

We didn't really
have time to talk.

That's all right.
We'll talk later.

Oh, yeah, right, right, dinner.

-Where should we go?
-You know something,

I was thinking maybe
we'd just stay in tonight.

You know, you come on down
to my place.

Hey, that sounds nice.
I'll pick something up.

Great.

Uh, Chris... about the bathroom.

Hey, your pants are
a little wet there, buddy.

I'll cut you some slack
for being blind,

but you're gonna have to aim
a little bit better than that.

It's the sink!

Yeah, sorry, Jake.
It's still broken.

I meant to tell you.

(mocking):
"I meant to tell you."

I'm soaked. Are you going
to call a plumber already?

I did, I did.
I left messages

for Mr. Big Wrench,
Mr. Rooter, Mr. Snake...

Okay, are you fixing a sink
or casting a porno flick?

All right, people, I'm serious.

Give me your money now.

-Does he have a gun?
-No.

No!

Come on, I got more information.

Next week,
the (LS. Journal of Medicine

is publishing a study proving

that two cups of coffee a day
is good for your heart.

I'm offering you
a life-changing opportunity,

and all I'm asking in return
is a meager 10% commission.

You want to offer me
a life-changing opportunity,

fix my sink.

Hector, you got to stop this.

Come on, man!
This could make us rich.

I forget, now, what was
the last idea you had

that was going to make us
all rich?

I don't recall.

Mm... sure you do.

Come on, say it.

Come on... say it.

The Puppy Vac.

That's right, the Puppy Vac.

Right. Yeah, the vacuum
attached to the back of a dog,

so when he goes
from room to room,

he cleans your entire house.

Hey, once they breed a dog

that won't freak out
at that noise,

that's gonna work.

Hector, look, look, you got to
give it up already, all right?

I mean, look around you.

Every day, you see people
busting their asses

trying to scratch out a living,

and you think you're going
to find some easy way out.

That was the idea.

You know, grow up, all right?

Quit embarrassing yourself.

Get yourself a job.

That was harsh, man.

Well, you know what?

The world is harsh.
Get used to it.

(pipe clanging, water rushing)

CHRIS:
Damn it!

Sink still broken?

(mocking):
"Sink still broken?"

(banging on door)

CHRIS:
John, it's me!

Come on in. It's open.

My hands are full.

So put something down.

(banging on door)

John...

Oh'.!

Sorry.

Wait-wait. John!

Oh, oh, sorry.

Yeah, I was watching the Knicks.

Great game.
Already been two fights.

Thank you.

Anything else
I can get for you?

-No, I'm good.
-0h.

(Chris clears throat softly)

-So, how was your day?
-You know, the usual.

Come on, hey, shoot the ball,
shoot the ball. Yes!

So, uh... so nothing
interesting happened?

Uh, not really, you know?

I had a craving
for a cigarette around 2:00.

Ate a piece of licorice.

It went away.

Pass the ball! Come on!
What's wrong with you?

-Well, I had a hell of a day.
-Yeah?

Yeah. You probably noticed
I'm wearing

a different outfit
than I was this morning.

0h, right, yeah, before
you had on the, uh, other thing.

Well, it, uh... it turns out

I'm not quite the plumber
I thought I was.

-(TV and Chris get louder)
-I, uh... H was trying to

fix the, uh, sink in the
bathroom at the diner, and, uh,

(louder): and I turned the
wrench the wrong way, and it...

John!

(mutes TV)

Would you listen to me?

What?

I had a plumbing problem.

Okay.

Well, hey...

What? I thought
the story was over.

Your sink broke, and you
called a plumber, right?

You are not even
listening to me.

All right, fine,
here, look, I'm listening.

What happened?

The sink broke,
and I called a plumber.

Okay.

Whoa, whoa wait, wait.

I-I thought we were going
to have dinner and talk.

That's what we're doing.

No, I'm doing all the talking.

That's all right. I don't mind.

-We||, aren't you gonna talk?
-I am talking.

I can hear me. Can't you?

You know, it's starting to feel
like you'd be happier

if the beer and pizza stayed
and I just disappeared.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

So, how was dinner?

Did you meet Steve's father?

Margaret, I swear,
I'm even more in love today

than I was yesterday.

Oh.
So, Steve really is the one?

No.

His father is.

What?!

I'm in love with Steve's father.

The moment I saw him,
I just knew.

His name's Steve, too.

Oh, how convenient.

That way, if you say
the wrong name in bed,

you're still right.

I know.
I already thought of that.

I swear,

I haven't been this attracted
to a man...

Since yesterday!

Oh, that.

I was so young and naive.

Trust me, Margaret,

this is the real thing.

Hey, do me a favor.

If Steve calls, I'm not here.

But if Steve calls, find me.

Look, Gary, whatever it is,
you can tell me.

I-I don't know, Dr. Becker.

It's kind of personal.

It just happens
at the worst times,

and I can't do anything
to control it.

Oh, you cut one
in gym class, did you?

We-we've all done that.

No. I get...

excited...

...a lot.

You mean that
you-you get erections

when you don't really need them?

I'm 13. I never need them.

Yeah. Well, at-at your age, uh,

frequent erections
are-are perfectly normal.

You know? Um, it's your body
just taking

the equipment out
for a test drive.

You know, pretty soon,
you're going to look back

on these days... fondly.

I don't understand.

All right, never mind,
never mind. I'm just, uh...

Look, all I'm saying is,

this is nothing
you have to worry about it.

But it happens all the time!

When I'm walking
down the street,

when I'm in algebra.

The other day, it happened
while I was doing my chores.

Now my mom thinks
I like to do 'em.

Margaret, hi.

I just stopped by
to bring John a sandwich.

Oh, thank you.

Mm.

(rapping knuckles on desk)

And, uh, you gonna stay
and watch him eat it?

Oh, God, no, no.
I've seen John eat.

-(Iaughs)
-No, I did...

I did just want
to ask you, um...

It-it's about me and John.

Uh, we've been together
a couple weeks now, and, uh...

Oh, and congratulations
on breaking the record.

0h, thanks. Thanks.

Uh, uh, but the thing is,
we, um...

we-we don't seem to communicate.

Uh, sometimes I wonder
if he even likes being with me.

Boy, that's a surprise.

I mean, why, just yesterday,
he came in,

and he said he was at the diner

and the two of you had
a really nice conversation.

-Really?
-Mm-hmm.

So, you think he is happy?

Happy? John?

Well, uh,
he has been smiling more.

Well, that's...
that's good to know.

Thanks.

Uh, on the other hand,
it-it-it could be

just like with babies.

Uh, sometimes they smile
when they're happy,

and sometimes it's just gas.

Thanks.

(fax machine beeps)

Wow. You know,
that really does happen

at the oddest times,
doesn't it?

-Uh, John?
-Yeah.

Dana McCall's
MRI results just came in.

Do you want me
to get her on the phone?

No.

It's Friday.

Let her enjoy the weekend.

Hey, Jake.

0h, hi.

Listen, about what you said
to me yesterday...

Look, I know I came down
kind of hard on you...

No, no. You were right.
So, this morning,

I went down
to the unemployment office,

and I checked out
the job listings.

Saw some really good
possibilities.

Oh, that's great.
I'm happy for you.

Nothing fancy.

Just good, honest,
entry-level work.

Yeah, but you know what?

With determination
and discipline,

those jobs can really turn
into something.

Yeah.

Anyway, while I was there,

I heard a news study on how,
due to El Nifio conditions

and an upcoming medical study,

coffee futures went up... 300%!

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

But do I have a piece of it?

No!

Because you talked me out of it!

But that's okay,
because thanks to you,

I got a lead on a prime
dishwashing gig at Nathan's!

I hear they promote from within.

I'm taking gum,
and I'm not paying for it.

Every day for the rest
of my life!

(tapping on window)

0h! For...

What do you do, just sit
out there and wait for me?

Yeah, yeah. Then I hope and pray

if I smile real pretty,
you'll let me in.

So you're back with the
food now? I'm starving.

I'm sorry, I-I started watching
the game at Ming's,

kind of got caught up in it,

and then I got hungry...

So, you ate without me,
and-and my food's cold?

Yeah. You may want to nuke that.

Forget it, I'm too hungry.

Second half's about to start.

Come on, sit down.

Oh, this is going
to be our evening?

We're going to watch
basketball again?

Yeah.
You like basketball, right?

Yeah, sure.

So how was your day?

0h, just-just one second.

But it's a commercial.

Yeah, but I like this one.

It's the one
with the funny duck.

(duck quacking)

He quacks.

Nobody sees him. It's funny.

Ah, here we go. All right.

Wh-What are you doing?

John, I-I'm curious.

Do you actually consider this
a good evening?

Basketball, Chinese food,

the duck, you--
yeah, it's great.

Well, maybe great for you,
but it's not for me.

What... What "this"?

What's... what's not good?

This-this-this sitting
on the couch

and watching TV every night,
not talking.

We're a couple--
at least we're supposed to be--

but it's not gonna work
if we don't connect,

and we can't connect
if you won't share with me.

I am sharing with you.

You're sitting on my couch.

You're watching my TV.

That is not what I mean.

I-I keep asking you,

"How was your day?"
"What happened?"

"Anything you want
to talk about?"

And you-you just keep
saying, "Nothing."

-There is nothing.
-No, there can't be "nothing."

You're doing something.
There are too many people

mad at you
at the end of each day.

Fine.

-I went... I went to my office.
-Mm.

Saw a guy with gas...

a little girl with strep throat,

a lady with a bunions,

a teenage boy with a problem
most guys would kill for,

then I found out I have
to tell a 23-year-old girl

that she has M.S.,
then another guy came in...

Wh-wh-whoa, back up.

You have to tell someone
they have M.S.?

Yeah, yeah.

Nice girl, too. It's too bad.

Anyway, the other guy
came in, he was...

Ow! Ow!

Hey, hey, hey! Stop that!
What are you doing?

You-you were going through
something like that,

and you didn't think
to share it with me?

-Why would I?
-To unburden yourself.

To take the pressure off.

John, that-that must be
so painful for you.

So, you know, what if it is?
That's part of my job.

Yeah, but don't-don't you need
a way to deal with it?

-I have one.
-What?

I come home, and I lose myself

in a mindless game
of basketball.

0h.

Look, I-I love my job.

I get to help a lot of people.

Sometimes I can't.

And when that happens...

You watch basketball.

Or football or soccer,
baseball, hockey...

One time I watched two guys
in a rowboat fishing.

They caught a bass.

I cried.

It was cathartic.

Why didn't you
tell me this before?

'Cause it's my problem.

Wh-Why make you miserable,
you know?

Look, if it makes you
feel better

to talk about your broken sink,

then I'll listen,
but don't make me do it.

I'm no good at it.

You know, you don't have

to choke this stuff down
all the time.

If it feels like it's
getting to be too much

and you'd rather talk, I'm here.

Thank you. I appreciate that.

You know, except no stories
that involve a lot of pain.

I just... I can't handle that.

Got it.

No wounds or wounds
that don't heal.

I don't want to hear
about those, either.

Or iunguses, flung...
skeeve me out.

-Freak accidents are bad.
-(turns up TV volume)

Parasites-- I'm...

Ugh! I'm not happy
with those, either.