Becker (1998–2004): Season 5, Episode 2 - Do the Right Thing - full transcript

- Previously on Becker...
- What'd you do,

spend the night
upstairs with Reggie

and then try and sneak out?

Oh, you're kidding. I'm right?

Last night, after we kissed,

I came over here and
I slept with Reggie.

So, I don't think it's gonna
work out between us.

Here's your message.

It's from someone named Reggie.

"I knew if I didn't leave
today, I'd be here forever.

"I'll miss everyone,
but I need to do this.



Tell them all good-bye."

So she's gone?

Yes.

Chris, I-I made a big mistake.

For the first time in my life,
I know exactly what I want.

I want to be with you.

What about Reggie?
Is-is she okay?

I have no idea. She left town.

No, no, don't... No... Don't...

♪♪

Well, I've been digging
around the kitchen.

- There's not much left.
- So, there's nothing to eat?

Well, there's this French
bread made in France...

during the Revolution.



Oh, good. There's coffee.

- I'll take a cup.
- I don't work here.

You don't work anywhere.
Just give it to me, will you?

Murder in Brooklyn,
murder in Queens...

Oh, my God.

The Yankees lost.

Oh, God, that
coffee tastes like dirt.

Is Reggie back?

No, but it's an honest mistake.

She made it before she left.

Actually, I got a
call from Reggie

- this morning from Miami.
- You're kidding.

No, no. She hooked up with
some of her old modeling friends.

They're going to bum
around Europe for a while.

Oh, that sounds great.
No plans, no worries.

She's probably not
even shaving her legs.

Well, I imagine
it's very liberating.

You know something,
I'm happy for Reggie.

There comes a point
sometimes in your life

when anything, you know...

anything's better
than what you got.

Yeah, for her, that point
was sleeping with you.

Hey, her life sucked
before I came along.

I was just the straw
that broke the...

Oh, drop that.

So, Becker, how'd it go
with you and Chris last night?

Oh, well, you know,
I... I took her out to,

you know, give her the good news

about wanting to be
with her and not Reggie.

I'm not getting the
"good news" aspect of it,

but go on.

Yeah, anyway, when I
told her, she flipped out

and threw a bunch
of drinks in my face.

You're kidding.

That was you?

You-you heard something?

- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah. Me, too.

I heard a couple of people

talking about it down
at the post office.

Oh, great. It's all over town.

Yeah, you know, it just
proves my curly hair theory.

Yeah, the crazy
starts deep in the brain

and then just
comes twisting out.

First time in my life

I'm completely
honest with a woman,

it bites me in the ass.

It's your own fault
for telling her the truth.

Yeah, well, I thought women
wanted to hear the truth.

No, no. They say they
do, but they're lying.

Yeah.

Hey, guys.

- Hey, Chris.
- Hey, Chris.

- Hello.
- Hello.

Is there coffee?

Oh, no, no. If she's
going to be holding

a cup of hot liquid,
I'm out of here.

John, relax.

I know last night I
was a little upset.

A little? You assaulted me.

With water, not a brick.

Although it's probably a good
thing there wasn't one around.

Look, no matter
what it sounded like,

I swear that I had
already decided

I wanted to be with you

before I knew that
Reggie had left town.

John, there's no need
to go over it again.

It's not like we had
some big romance.

Why don't we just
put this behind us?

- Fine.
- Fine.

But I need to know
that you believe me.

What difference does it make?

It's not going to
change anything.

I'm not going out with you.

Well, good. I don't want
to go out with you, either.

- Fine.
- Fine.

But I did the right thing.

I should get credit.

I'll stick a gold star
on your homework.

Oh, great, now
you're being sarcastic.

Really? Was I?

Look, John, sometimes
it takes people years

to realize they're not
right for each other.

We're lucky. We found that out

before we even had one date.

So why don't you just move on.

Oh, I've totally moved on.

- Fine.
- Fine.

Now, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Listen, these guys
saw what happened.

Come on, you-you can back me up.

Come on, tell her.

All right, all
right, I'm glad to.

Okay, look, first he
found out that Reggie left...

No, I'm sorry.

First he slept with her,

and then he found out she left.

And then he ran to tell you

that he was really
interested in you.

So, then what I thought happened

- is exactly what happened.
- No, no, no, wait,

wait, wait. You forgot
to tell her the part where

I wanted to be with her

before I knew that
Reggie had left town.

Oh, you're right. That
does sound better.

Yeah, we forgot to tell you

that he wanted to
be with you before

he found out Reggie left town.

You know what?

Next time, I'll call
before I come over.

This way, you'll all have time
to get your stories straight.

Well, I know that would help me.

Oh...

Margaret? Hi! How you doing?

Hello.

Go ahead, ask me.

I don't know if I should.

It's okay. I got the promotion.

Thanks for that great
advice you gave me.

Glad to be of help.

There she is!

Hey!

Linda, I swear you just get
prettier every time I come in.

Oh, aren't you sweet.

And you've changed your hair
since the last time I saw you.

She changed her hair
since the last time I saw her.

Anyway, I'm due for a physical,

and since I was in
the neighborhood,

I thought I'd just stop in
and make an appointment.

How's tomorrow?

Uh, well, the doctor
can see you around 3:00.

Perfect. Put my
name down. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Great seeing you again.

Isn't he great?

I wonder who he is.

I thought you knew.

Never saw him before in my life.

What was that "you're
so sweet" business?

He said I was pretty
and he liked my hair.

Mr. Edwin, these
pills should help

with your hypertension,
but you're going to have

to learn how to
manage your stress.

You know, uh, go with the flow.

Take life in stride.

Be like a leaf in the wind.

A leaf in the wind?

Just trying to keep
him alive, Margaret.

He owes us a lot of money.

So, John, how did it
go last night with Chris?

What's that supposed to mean?

It means, how'd
it go with Chris?

Yeah, how did it go?
Did you have fun?

Are you asking me that
'cause you already know

the answer to that question?

Why would we ask you a question
if we already knew the answer?

Because I think you already
know I have an embarrassing story,

and you just want
to put me through

the torture of telling it.

No, John. Honestly...

What's going on here?

Is the entire
neighborhood whispering

and laughing behind my back?

Ha, ha, ha. "Did you hear
what happened to John Becker

on his date last night?"

No, John, honestly,
we didn't hear anything...

Hold on, hold on. I
think I know what this is.

Dr. Becker, don't feel bad.

At one time or another,
it happens to every man.

No, no, no, no...

Chris threw water in my face.

Well, some women are less
understanding than others.

Ever since Reggie left,
my business is dead.

I only made two
bucks this morning.

Hey, look on the bright side.

Oh, I keep forgetting
who I'm talking to.

I should probably be
mad at Reggie, but I'm not.

Took a lot of guts for her

to just get up
and leave like that.

Although, the way
her life was going,

she really didn't
have much to lose.

Still, it... kind of
made you feel better

knowing that there was someone
who had it worse than you do.

Yeah. Now who do we
have to look down on?

Hey, guys. What's going on?

Well, Jake was just saying

how he only made
two bucks this morning,

and I told him to
look on the bright side,

and then I realized for him...

It wasn't a real question, Bob.

Chris was in before.

Oh, yeah?

What'd she say about me?

She didn't say anything.

Boy, she just won't
let go of this, will she?

Does she really think that
she can come to the diner

I always come to,
not mention me at all,

and then think it's not
going to get back to me?

You know something?
She's just trying

to make me go crazy with this.

But she's not. No, no,
no. No, no, no, she's not.

She's not going
to make me crazy,

I'll tell you right now.

I've known women
all my life who...

You ever wonder how
long he keeps talking

after he leaves here?

Three blocks. I
followed him once.

You know, Jake, we
could do what Reggie did.

Sleep with Becker?

No. We could go
right out that door,

get into a cab to the airport,
and jump on the first plane out.

I can't do that.

Come on, I've
got a girlfriend, I...

I got a business to run.

I can't leave all this behind.

Jake, you made two
bucks this morning!

If you double your income,

you still can't buy
a Happy Meal.

Come on, you gotta
take chances in life.

Hey, I walk through
traffic with nothing

but a white stick to protect me.

I think I take enough chances.

Fine, fine.

Stay here in your
little cubbyhole

with your combs, your
candy and your comic books.

All right, all right.

How long would we be gone?

What's the difference?

For once in your life, do
something spontaneous.

Aw, what the hell? Let's do it.

Great.

This could be like a
whole new life for us.

We can go to France
and take a cooking class.

Yeah.

And then we fly to Italy
and we go clothes shopping.

And then it's off
to the Greek Isles

where it's just you
and me in the surf

swimming... naked.

All right, I'll go.

But we're getting
separate rooms.

Hey, Margaret. Got your message.

What, uh, what did you
need to see me about?

Well, I'm glad
to see you, Chris,

but I didn't call you.

But I got a message at
work to come see Margaret

at Dr. Becker's office.

Linda, did you call Chris?

No.

Is there any chance
that John is really

lame enough to call where I
work and pretend to be you?

I'll tell him you're here.

Lucas, I know it's
scary to get a shot,

but it's okay.

I promise, it's not
going to hurt, all right?

Tell you what I'm going to
do, I'm going to count to three,

and it'll all be over.

- John, Chris is here to see you.
- Yeah?

One, two, three.

The doctor's just finishing up.

Oh, Linda, uh, could you help...

Oh, Chris, hi. What a surprise.

Don't give me that.
What do you want?

All right, all right.

I got proof that I was
telling you the truth.

Linda, could you
come here, please?

Yes, Dr. Becker?

Yeah, Linda, uh, Chris and I

have had a little
misunderstanding,

and I think that you
can clear it up for us.

Go ahead, tell her
what we talked about.

The doctor told me
to be more careful

about mixing up
the urine samples.

- What?
- But, in my defense,

they really do
all look the same.

No, no, no, no, the
conversation that we had here,

you know, in the office.

- Oh.
- Right.

I told him not to be upset.

That it happens to all men.

No, no, no, not that one.

The discussion that we
had in my office the other day

about me and Reggie.

Oh, he said that Reggie
was a smart choice,

and I tried to talk him
into going with you instead.

What...?

No, no, wait, wait,
wait, wait. Come...

You're not going to listen
to Linda, are you? Come...

Hey, Chris, please, listen,
you got to believe me.

Don't you think you're
getting a little obsessed?

- No... You... Obsessed?
- Mm-hmm.

You think that...?

I'm not obsessed!
I'm not obsessed!

I've been going over
and over this in my head

ever since last night;
it's all I can think about.

I think I would know
if I was obsessed.

It's almost 3:00.

That guy's going to
be here any minute,

and we still don't
know his name.

I'm just going to
come out and ask him.

No, you can't do that.

We already acted
like we know him.

And he likes my hair.

Well, I'm going to
find out somehow.

Linda, Margaret, I'm
here for my checkup.

Yes, we were just
talking about you.

Oh, could you
please do me a favor?

I know it sounds silly,

but the doctor wants us
to have everyone sign in.

I know my
handwriting's horrible.

Good thing you know my name.

- Yeah, good thing.
- Oh!

I brought some new
photos of the kids.

Oh, they're adorable.

Thank you.

Oh, wait, you dropped
your driver's license.

Oh, don't want to lose that.

Uh, th-th-the doctor
will be right with you.

Uh, you can go to room
one. It's down the hall...

But, Margaret, I think
I know where it is.

Right. My mistake.

Oh.

- John?
- Yeah?

There's a guy in room one

who acts like he's been
coming here for years,

but we have no idea who he is.

That's impossible.

No, it's not.

You should see this guy.

He is completely unremarkable.

It's like looking at vanilla
ice cream on a white plate.

Margaret, I may not
like all of these people,

but I guarantee you
I know their names.

Hey there, Dr. Becker.

Hey...

You look good.

Yeah, and you...

Well, you-you, uh...

You need a physical.

Why don't you get
undressed? I'll be right back.

Who the hell is that?

- Told you.
- Yeah, well, I'm not

playing this game.

I'm just gonna go ask him.

No, you can't.

It'll hurt his feelings.

And he liked my hair.

But we have to find out.

He may not even
be a real patient.

He could be some lunatic
who walked in off the street

trying to get medical
attention for free.

For free? Well,
that's it, I'm going in.

Go, go, go.

Oh...

Mr. Cavanaugh!

Jim Cavanaugh.

Remember him?

- Ah, Mr. Cavanaugh.
- Yeah.

The guy with the...

- Yeah, yeah.
- Amazing.

Oh, John, I got a call
from Chris's new doctor.

She has an appointment today,

and they wanted me
to send over her record.

Do you need to send
along a note or anything?

She's switching doctors?
How petty can you be?

You know, she throws
water on my face.

She thinks I'm blind.

She goes to the diner
and doesn't talk about me.

And now she's switching doctors?

I mean, does she really
think that I don't know

- what she's up to?
- What is she up to?

I don't know, I don't know.

But when I find
out, I'm gonna...

Gonna what?

I don't know!

Here we go. This
is gonna be great.

- On the road.
- Free spirits!

- Ridin' the wind!
- Ha ha!

So how long we going for?

I don't know, could
be a week, a month,

or we could fall in love,

get married and
stay there forever.

But not with each...

No, not with each other.

Look, you're still up
for this, aren't you?

Oh, absolutely. I'm excited.

Not half as excited as I am.

Hi. When's your next flight out?

Uh, that would be
Flight 17 to Paris.

Hey, you hear that, Jake?

In a few short hours,
I'll be seeing Paris

and you'll be smelling it.

I can't wait.

Two one-way tickets, please.

This is the most exciting
thing I've ever done.

And that includes
losing my virginity.

Let's catch up on the plane.

Please.

Excuse me, is, uh,
there a meal on this flight?

Oh, absolutely.

You have a choice
of filet mignon

or lobster thermidor.

You hear that, Jake?

- We're eating better already.
- Ha ha!

And there's complimentary
champagne after takeoff.

Perfect. Is there a movie?

We have a selection of DVDs.

Movies, steak, champagne!

It's like I died and
went to Atlantic City.

Tell me this was a bad idea!

- This was a great idea!
- Hey, from now on,

- we live in the moment.
- Take life as it comes.

Hey, you know what
I'm looking forward to?

Those little bags
of salted peanuts

- they give you.
- I'm sorry, we don't serve peanuts.

- That's it, we're out of here.
- I'm right behind you.

What are you doing here?

I have every right to be here.

What are you doing here?

I have a doctor's appointment.

Yeah, well... so do I.

Really?

- Mm-hmm.
- With Dr. Parks?

Yes, with Dr. Parks.

Can't doctors have doctors?

We don't all heal
ourselves, you know.

- Dr. Parks is a gynecologist.
- Yes, well...

Obviously, you haven't
read the latest research.

Why did you follow me here?

Becau... Look, I need...

I need you to believe
that I wasn't lying.

It doesn't matter.

It's not going to change
things between us.

No, it's not about
that anymore. I just...

I just don't want you
to think I'm a bad guy.

I bet he cheated on her.

Of course he cheated on her.

I bet it wasn't the
first time, either.

Look...

I just need you to acknowledge

that I wasn't going
after you on the rebound.

When I said I liked you,
I was completely sincere.

Fine, you were sincere.

I wouldn't believe him.

Hey, do you mind?

This is a private conversation.

He is not worth your time, girl.

If he cheated on
you once, honey,

you know he'll do it again.

- I say you kick him to the curb.
- Mm-hmm.

Yeah, you're pretty tough

when you're all jacked up
on hormones, aren't you?

Look, I've been
called a lot of things,

but the one thing
I'm not is a liar.

You lied about the
reason you came here.

One little lie.

And you just lied
about not being a liar.

All right, fine. I
lie all the time.

- But I'm not lying about this.
- Mm-hmm.

- Hey...
- Trust me, he's lying.

Please, he's a man.

If his lips are
moving, he's lying.

Hey, why don't the three of
you go up on the windowsill there

and practice pushing?

Excuse me?

Hey, hey.

What are you doing?

You can't come back here.

It's okay, I'm a doctor.

Look...

you gotta believe me.

You are just not gonna
give up on this, are you?

Why-why should I? I'm right.

Okay, fine. Fine.

You-you haven't shut
up about this all day.

And I guess you wouldn't do
that if... if you weren't sincere.

So let's just end this.

I believe you.

- Really?
- Really.

That's great.

- That-that's all I wanted.
- Good.

Never been so excited to get
a pap smear in my entire life.

Hey, hey, hey.

Don't you want to apologize?

Excuse me?

You know, for throwing water
in my face at the restaurant.

You know, just say you're sorry,

and we... we can
start over again.

You want to hear
me say "I'm sorry"?

Fine.

I am sorry I ever met you!

I'm sorry I ever kissed you,

and I'm sorry we go to
the same gynecologist!

I have wasted years of my
life dealing with guys like you,

and I am not gonna
do it anymore.

Ow!

You kissed me and
then you have sex

with someone else.

What kind of man does that?

And now...

now you ask me to apologize?

Well, let me tell you something.

You have no idea what you lost.

I am the most loyal, trusting
person you will ever meet.

When I am in a relationship,
I put my whole heart into it.

But after what you've
done, you get nothing.

Who's sorry now, bucko?

Who's sorry now? You are.

You... I... You said
it. I heard you say it.

You can't take it
back, either. Ha!

Hey, shouldn't you be
less concerned about me

and start concentrating more on

how you're gonna
lose all that weight?