Becker (1998–2004): Season 5, Episode 1 - Someone's in the Kitchen with Reggie? - full transcript

Previously on Becker...

I've been thinking about it,

and I know why you
won't see me as a patient.

I gave you, like,
30 reasons why.

But you didn't give
me the real reason:

it's because you like me.

- What?
- And you know what?

I think I like you, too.

So now what?

What, are you a dope?

Now we kiss.



Chris just came over and...

and we had this
really great kiss.

It's the last thing
I need right now...

A relationship.

I tell you, she really gave
me something to think about.

Well, Becker, I hate to make
your life more complicated,

but here's something
else for you to think about.

Huh?

♪♪

Who's there?

Hey, morning, Jake.

Boy, is it cold outside.

How would you
know it's cold outside?

What do you mean, how do I know?



I just came in from outside.

Well, that's funny.

Why? Why is that funny?

'Cause the door's locked.

Yeah, it's... it's
dead-bolted from the inside.

We're not open yet.

So, what's your point?

My point is there's

no way that you came
in from the outside.

I mean, what'd you
do, spend the night

upstairs with Reggie and
then try and sneak out?

Oh, you're kidding. I'm right?

No, no, no, no, no. Of
course, no. Please, come on.

No, I was upstairs,
uh, helping...

You know, she... we
were reorganizing...

All right, the
truth is, you know,

she-she fell, and
I, as a doctor...

Fell on top of her?

Oh, all right, all right.

We slept together.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, I know.

- Oh, my God!
- I know.

Oh, my God!

Hey, would you
stop saying that?!

I'm just as surprised
as you are, believe me.

I did not plan on
sleeping with Reggie.

You know, I never
even considered it.

Well, maybe once
or twice, you know,

before I knew her well.

Ah, sounds like quite a night.

Oh, tell me about it.

First Chris, then Reggie.

Wait, wait. Chris
is up there, too?

No, no, no, no. Chris
was beforehand.

She kissed me, all right?

Then I came over here and
Reggie kissed me and then...

Oh, my God.

You know what?
I think it's great.

You know, I always
sensed there was

a little heat between you two.

Really? Me and Reggie?

Hey, John, I'm
blind. I'm not blind.

So is this gonna
be a one-time thing,

or is this gonna
turn into something?

I don't know. I don't
know, you know.

We haven't had the
chance to discuss it yet,

but I got to tell you,
it felt pretty good.

You know, I mean,
Reg and I go way back.

You know, when
I said it felt good,

I didn't mean that it felt good,

I meant that... Well,
"it" did feel good.

I just meant that, you
know, the, the entire thing,

the whole thing felt
good... not just "it."

I'm sure it was that
kind of smooth talking

that got her into
bed in the first place.

Oh, dear.

Yeah, I got to get out
of here and get to work.

Hey, hey, listen to me.

For now, I just want this
between the two of us.

You got that?

Hey, John, it's me. Come on.

I'm insulted you even
had to mention that.

You're right. You're right.

Yeah.

Well, see you later.

All right, I'll see you later.

You're still there, aren't you?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

You're late.

Oh, I'm late. I'm late.

Good. So we agree.

Oh, no, we don't.

You're the one who's late.

We made plans to go
to the movies last night,

and you never showed up.

What are you talking about?

We said we'd go to the
movies next Thursday.

Which was yesterday.

No, it wasn't.

Yes, it was.

No, it wasn't.

Yes, it was. We made
that plan on Monday,

so next Thursday was yesterday.

Think about it. It was
the next Thursday.

Linda, everybody knows
that if you make a plan

to do something next Thursday,

you're talking about the
Thursday of the next week.

Since when?

Since the world agreed to it

at the beginning
of civilization!

Dr. Becker,

if it was Monday
and we were talking

about next Thursday,
bearing in mind

that today's Friday,
would you be talking

about yesterday or next week?

Linda's broken again.

Oh, I'm broken.

I'm the only one who knows
what goes on around here.

Without me, this whole
place would fall apart.

I don't know what everyone
else is talking about.

Swear I just saw a spring
come flying out of her head.

Hey. Where is everybody?

By "everybody," do you
mean everybody in the world,

everybody in the city

or everybody in the
diner you slept with?

Ah, damn it, Jake!

I can't believe you told Bob.

Well, I had to tell
somebody, and...

and I'm assuming
Reggie already knew.

So where is Reggie?

Ah, you just missed her.
She just went to the bank.

Yeah? She say
anything about last night?

Yeah. She said that last
night when she was with you,

she remembered that
she had to go to the bank.

So, Becker, what's the deal?

Are you two, like,
boyfriend-girlfriend?

What is this, high school?

Seems like it.

Everybody's having sex but me.

Hey, everybody.

Hey, Chris.

Hey, John. I had fun last night.

Yeah, me, too.

No kidding.

So, John, have...

have you told
Chris about Reggie?

Oh, boy. Yeah, I
guess I should, huh?

That's going to be a
tough conversation.

Oh, please, come on.
I'm a doctor, you know?

I give people bad
news all the time.

I'm nothing if not
compassionate.

Hey, Chris, uh...
we need to talk.

Great. Sit down.

Yeah, uh,

last night after we
kissed, I came over here

and I slept with Reggie,

so I don't think it's going
to work out between us.

Wow.

Why doesn't he just
kick a dog while he's at it?

I know I said you should
make the next move,

but I kind of thought the next
move would be, you know, on me.

Believe me, I didn't
plan this, you know.

Reggie and I had
been friends a long time,

and it just kind of
happened, you know?

I'm sorry.

I guess you're
kind of upset, huh?

No, no, no, I'm not upset.

I'm just, uh... I'm surprised.

But it's no big deal. I mean...

all we did was kiss, right?

Right.

Yeah, and I'd rather you
be with the right person,

even if it's not me,
and Reggie is great.

I'm happy for you guys, really.

Wow, you know,

I can't believe how
well you're taking this.

Hey, Chris, you're,
you're amazing.

Well, apparently,
not that amazing.

See you around.

Wow.

She's really a special woman.

Strong, beautiful,
compassionate.

I just hope that someday,
sometime in my life,

I get to dump a woman like that.

Linda, could you look in the
book and tell me who's next?

Uh, Mr. Petzold's
coming in at 2:00.

Hmm, that's funny.

It's German.

I'm sure our names
sound funny to them, too.

No, it's funny because
I told Mr. Petzold

to come in next Friday.

Yes, but you told
him that on Tuesday,

and today being Friday means
that today is the next Friday.

Linda, you are not
making any sense.

Everyone knows that
if you say "next Friday,"

you're talking about the
Friday of the next week.

It's not literal,
it's idiomatic.

Yeah, it's completely idiomatic.

If you don't stop this,

I'm going to kick
you into next week.

Yeah, well, your next
week is my this week,

and I'm already here, so
you missed your chance.

Will you just take that
X-ray in to Dr. Becker?

Sure. When I'm winning,
you send me away.

Here's Mrs. Hart's chest X-ray,
and when you're done with it,

I'm going to need it back.

I accidentally wrote a phone
number on her left lung.

Hey, Linda? Linda?

Yes, Dr. Becker?

Yeah, uh, I-I have this problem.

I was wondering...

Oh, you know what? Never mind.

G-Go... go do
whatever it is you do.

Yes, Dr. Becker.

No, wait. Come back here.

Yes, Dr. Becker?

Oh, never mind. Go... go away.

This is what it's like
talking to me, isn't it?

No, I'm... I'm sorry.

It's just that I got a
lot on my mind here.

It's a relationship thing.

I'll-I'll talk to Margaret.

Why would you talk to her?

She doesn't even
know what day it is.

Well, uh, all
right, you're here.

Uh, sit down.

Uh...

Suppose somebody
kissed one person

and then, you know, later
kissed another person, and then...

You ended up
sleeping with Reggie?

Jake?

He's telling everyone.

All right, all right, since
you already know...

This morning, I was positive
I wanted to be with Reggie,

but now all I can
think about is Chris.

But, you know, Reg
and I go way back.

You know, she's-she's
solid, dependable, safe.

Okay, you just
described a Volvo.

What about Chris?

Oh, well, Chris, Chris,
she's fun, she's spontaneous,

you know, full
of life, you know?

Nah, Chris is too risky.

Reggie's the safe choice.

My God, is this what
love is like at 50?

Dr. Becker, life is
all about taking risks.

Let me tell you a story
about a guy I once knew

who wanted a motorcycle.

He knew he shouldn't get one

because they're dangerous,
they're impractical,

you get bugs in your teeth,
but it's all he ever wanted.

So, he saved up all his
money, bought himself a Harley,

strapped on his wooden leg
and rode off into the sunset.

He had a wooden leg?

No, he just strapped it
on to the back of the bike.

It wasn't his.

So... so wh-what you're
trying to tell me here is he...

he-he was following his heart
and-and it worked out for him?

Yeah, for about a quarter mile,

then he skidded out
over four lanes of traffic.

Dead?

He is to me.

He was supposed
to take me with him,

and he left without
even calling.

Linda, you should be glad
you weren't on the bike.

You know, I never
looked at it that way.

Thanks.

I'm really glad
we had this talk.

Hey, guys.

- Hey, John.
- Hey, Becker.

Where's Reggie? I
need to talk to her.

I don't know. I
haven't seen her.

And, yes, Bob, I'm blind
and I said "I haven't seen her."

It's hysterical.

You know, if you're going
to take shots at yourself,

there's really no
reason for me to be here.

So, when do you think
she's coming back?

- I need to talk to her.
- Why? What's going on?

Oh, I'm so screwed up.

You know, we
keep telling her that,

but she slept with you anyway.

Anybody work here?

Not really.

So, I can't get coffee?

Look, we're kind of in the
middle of something here.

The coffee's right over
there. Just help yourself.

All right, go ahead.

Well... I'm here to
break up with Reggie.

I want to be with Chris.

You're kidding.

What happened
to "it feels right"?

I changed my mind, okay?

I just don't know
what to say to her.

Why don't you just
shoot her in the head

like you did Chris?

- What made you change your mind?
- Well, I was with Linda...

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You slept with Linda, too?

When did "old and
cranky" become "hot"?

Excuse me. Is someone
going to get that?

You're standing
right next to it.

Pick it up. Help a brother out.

Yes?

I didn't sleep with
Linda, all right?

I just asked her
for some advice.

Oh, my God.

I know.

It's for someone named Jake.

Uh, would you mind
taking a message?

Okay.

There you are, John Becker.

Will you please tell me
why I'm the last one to know

what's going on in your life?

And if you need
relationship advice,

why talk to Linda?

She's never had a
meaningful relationship

that lasted more than
48 hours. No offense.

None taken.

Her only steady boyfriend

was a convicted
criminal. No offense.

None taken.

Margaret, I'm sorry
I didn't tell you,

but if it's any consolation,

Linda's advice was absolutely
worthless. No offense.

This is starting to
wear a little thin.

Here's your message.

Oh, could you read
it to me? I'm blind.

This is getting to be a lot of
work for a bad cup of coffee.

It's from someone named Reggie.

"I'm sorry I missed you.

Please tell Becker that..."

Hey, hey, I'm Becker.

Oh, here you go.

Whoa, whoa, wait, get back here.

I can't read this.

Wh-Where the hell did
you learn how to write?

She was talking kind of fast.

I did the best I could.

"When I woke up this morning,

"I realized that
going to bed with you

was the best thing
I've ever done."

Well, this is kind
of embarrassing.

Go on.

"It made me see

just how desperate
I really was."

Well, that took a nosedive.

"I mean, sleeping with you...

My God, how much
worse could my life get?"

I'm guessing she didn't know

there'd be all these
people around when I read...

Just-just-just... Thank you.

"I knew if I didn't leave
today, I'd be here forever.

"I'll miss everyone,
but I need to do this.

Tell them all good-bye."

So, she's gone?

Yes.

That-that's all she said?

Yes.

So, that's it?

Well...

this is a little awkward, but...

Oh, uh, Reggie told
you to do that, did she?

No. I just felt it.

I-I can't believe this.

It's-it's not like Reggie
to just pick up and leave.

She can't be gone.

This place is her life.

I just... I just can't imagine
not having her around.

Yeah, I mean, I've seen her

practically every
day since high school.

Even on days she didn't
know I was watching.

Why didn't she say good-bye?

Maybe she didn't want
to be talked out of it.

Did a man just kiss me?

Oh, hey.

Thank you for meeting me here.

Yeah, no problem.

Can I, uh... get you
something to drink?

Maybe a glass of
wine or something?

Yeah. White wine would be nice.

Great. Hey. Hey!

Come here. Come here!

She'd like a glass of
Chardonnay, please.

Kind of figured you'd
be with Reggie tonight.

What's, uh... what's going on?

I got some great news for you.

Even better than the news
you gave me this morning?

Chris, I-I made a big mistake.

Since we talked, I
haven't been able

to stop thinking about you.

Look, I want... I
want to get this right.

So few people know what's
going to make them happy,

but for the first
time in my life,

I know exactly what I want.

I want to be with you.

I got to be honest, I, I
wasn't expecting this.

I hope it's not too late.

I have nowhere to be.

Oh, that's great.

That's great.

So, what do we do now?

God, you're bad at this.

Now we kiss.

Oh, wait a minute.

Is Reggie okay?

I have no idea. She left town.

What, what? What do
you mean, she left town?

Well, apparently she
didn't feel as good

about last night as
I did, so she's gone.

What did you do that for?

So now that Reggie's gone,

you just decide to come
running back to me, is that it?

- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
- Huh?

I can see how that
sounded that way,

but no, no, no, no, no, no.

Reggie's leaving
is a good thing.

Now we can be together.

Oh, she was the trophy

and I'm just some
consolation prize?

Oh, no, no, Chris,
believe me, you're no prize.

All right, I can see how
that came out wrong, too.

Oh, no, no, no. Don't-don't...
don't even think about it.

No, I... no, don't you dare.

I forbid you to.

Oh!

Don't you think I
have any pride?

Any self-respect?

You think I'm just gonna
come running into your arms

because Reggie isn't interested?

What am I, leftovers?

No, no, that's not
how it happened.

No, please, just sit down.

No, please, come, sit down.

Let me explain this, please.

Look, now, no.

Reggie's leaving had nothing
to do with my decision to be...

What, your decision?

- No, my desire.
- Oh. Uh-huh.

- My desire to be with you.
- Uh-huh.

And for the record, I
already desired that

before she was gone.

No, you got to
believe me, Chris.

I went to the diner
to break up with her.

I was following my heart.

I was following the motorcycle

and something else
Linda said about a guy

- with a wooden leg.
- Wh-What?

You discussed this with Linda?

I discussed it with everybody.

No, don't!

That was a single malt.

That's 12 bucks a shot.

Are you arrogant or just stupid?

I am not a fool, John Becker,

and I resent the fact that
you seem to think I am.

Oh, please. Don't you
think you're overreacting?

"Overreacting"?

I hate when men say that. Here.

Oh, hey... just don't...

Do I look thirsty?