Becker (1998–2004): Season 4, Episode 20 - Piece Talks - full transcript

(moaning)

Reg...

Oh, my god, what
is that smell?

Bad cheese, wilted lettuce,
and spoiled meat.

Well, don't tell us
the recipe-- surprise us.

I'm not cooking.

My freezer broke down.

Everything's ruined.

Frozen hamburger, frozen
chicken, frozen salad.

It's been rotting all weekend.

I can't sell that
now... Can I?



As a customer,
I say no.

As, as a doctor
who needs the business,

I say go for it.

Let's see--
my eyes are watering,

My throat's burning,

And I have a mild
sense of nausea.

French toast?

I'm not cooking.

My freezer broke down.

That's the smell of rotten food.

I've had your
french toast, reg.

It was an honest mistake.

The repair man said it's shot

And it will cost
almost $8,000 to replace it.



Bob:
Well, you're in luck, reg.

Bob knows a guy
who can get you a freezer cheap.

Yeah, just don't be standing

Behind the truck
when it falls off.

Hey, wait a minute,
is this the same guy

That sold me a case of
two musketeers bars?

Bob:
Look, bob knows a guy

Who supplies freezers
to the whole east coast.

I mean, you'll get it for below
what my guy gets it

From guys who sell it
to other guys

Who wish they were guys
who knew guys like my guy.

What guy?

Trust me, she'll get a deal.

What kind of deal?

Reg, it's bob.
I'd be careful.

What am I gonna do?

I can't run this business
without a freezer.

Wait a minute, your stove
still works, doesn't it?

You don't understand.

I don't really cook so much
as I defrost and reheat.

I can't afford a new freezer.

I might as well shut
this place down.

Someone could say
that would be a shame.

(all muttering)

So, reggie's is closed.

Where do you want
to go for lunch?

Anywhere you want to go
is fine with me.

Okay, um, why don't
we order in italian?

I don't speak italian.

No, I meant we would order
italian food.

Nah, too many carbs.

Uh, deli?

Nah, too much
protein.

Seafood?

Nah, it doesn't travel.

But I can pick anywhere I want?

Sure, I'm up for anything.

John, where shall
we order lunch from?

Anyplace is fine with me.

Okay, then I'm ordering chinese.

Nah, I had chinese
for breakfast.

And I had it
last night for dinner.

In china, they have it
for every meal.

Oh, hi,
mrs. Bennett.

Uh, I don't have you down
for an appointment.

Is there a problem?

No, I was
just wondering

If I could talk
to dr. Becker.

Sure, come on back.

No, john, wait,
we still didn't decide

What we're going to do
for lunch.

Well, just, anything's
fine, come on.

Oh, john, come on, please,

Pick someplace.
All right, all right,
all right, all right.

Mrs. Bennett, where
are your people from?

Michigan.

Perfect-- we'll have tacos.

There you go.

Uh, please,
what can I do for you?

You know those antidepressant
pills you gave my husband?

Yeah, yeah, they're working
great, aren't they?

I mean, he's happy,
vibrant, full of energy.

I want you to take them away.

He's running around

As if he were 20 years old.

Well, that's
a good thing, isn't it?

In the yard
with a rake and some leaves,

It's a good thing,
but in the house,

He wants me sexually
all the time.

Uh...

Like yesterday.

He brought home one of those

Peekaboo nighties
for me to wear.

You know, the kind
that doesn't have any...

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Mrs. Bennett,
there's no need for pictures.

Look, thi-this is not uncommon.

Uh, sometimes when
a clinical depression lifts,

The patient regains
his sex drive,

Even someone your husband's age.

Don't you have a pill that
would make him want to dust?

Um...

I-I take it the feelings
aren't mutual.

Well, don't get me wrong.

Howard and I have been
around the block.

In our day
we went all around town.

We even went

To jersey once or twice...

If you get my meaning.

I'm desperately trying not to.

It's gotten so bad

That if I drop a fork
on the floor, I kick it away

So I don't have
to pick it up in front of him.

Every time I bend over...

(stammers)

What did I say
about pictures, really?

Well, can't you give him
something to calm him down?

What do they do to horses?

I-I don't think he'd like that.

Then take away
the pills, please.

No, I ca-- I can't do that,
mrs. Bennett, but I...

He's coming in this afternoon
for a follow-up.

I'll tell you what,
I'll talk to him then.

Oh, thank you.

I don't like bringing this up,

But imagine yourself
in my position.

Pictures, please...

Taco ben's?
Nah.

Taco bill's?
Nah.

Taco bob's?

Nah.

I'm sorry, doctor.

50 years ago,
I'd have been flattered

To have a man chasing me,
but not now.

I understand,

But give me a chance.

Maybe I can find a way
to make this work.

Sure, he says
don't date the patients

Till he sees one he wants.

Here you go.

Wait, what
are you taking?

A post. What, are you blind?

Whoa, a blind guy.

With a newsstand.

I thought that only happened
in old movies.

Yeah, this is my little
tribute to hollywood.

Good one.

It isn't just your hair
that's funny.

Hey, uh, toots.

I'm looking
for reggie kostas.

Can you tell him I'm here?

I'm reggie kostas.

Really?

I was expecting some old greek

With a bad accent
and a wart on his nose.

That was my father.

Well, you're
very blessed, sweetheart.

Usually greek women
are very hairy,

But you're young,
there's still time.

Just who the hell
do you think you are?

Lenny!

Bobby!

(laughing)

Hey, nice hair plugs.

Before you know it,

You'll have enough
for a comb-over.

Thank you very much.

Hey, you know who
was asking about you?

Who?
Nobody.

(both laughing)

You get me

With that one
every time.

I should have guessed
he was a friend of yours.

Hey, do you know
who this is?

Lenny's the top appliance guy
in the tristate area.

He's your guy?

Leonard nagle.

I don't usually come down
to the slums to do business,

But bob said you needed help.

Lucky for you, huh, zorba?

What did you say?

I said, "lucky for you,"
as in "today is your lucky day."

You play your cards right, you
might get lucky tonight, too.

All right, that's it, get out.

Len, wait.

Reg, can I talk to you
down here for a second?

Why are you talking
to him like that?

He's going

To give you a great deal.

I don't care,
he's an ass.

Well, you don't
got to marry him.

You just got
to buy a freezer.

Don't you know
some other guy?

There is no other guy.
Lenny's the guy.

Other guys wish
they knew guys

Who knew guys
like lenny knows guys.

Oh, shut up.

Look, leonard, I appreciate
that you're slumming,

But there's no way in hell
this is going to work out.

Hey, you seem
a little uptight.

You know what
you need, sweetheart?

Get out.

A new freezer.

I would suggest a norseman 8000.

26 cubic feet,
auto moisture control,

Self-cleaning condenser,

Five-year warranty, but
if you want to pay full price

Just because I offended

Your delicate
sensibilities, fine.

I hope you and the blind guy
sell a lot of chiclets.

Okay, wait a minute.

What price exactly
are you...?

Oh, my god, you
are the guy.

I love it
when women say that.

Next time try it
with your shirt off.

You're wasting your time
with this, sweetheart.

My blood pressure went
through the roof

The second you walked
in the door.

Mr. Bennett, you're
such a tease.

No, I'm serious.

Why don't we
run away together?

We can even bring my wife.

Believe me, she won't
get in the way.

Mr. Bennett,
how you feeling?

Ah, great. Linda and I
are going away together.

I tried to resist,
but I couldn't.

Do something about him.

Ah, I see your test
results look good.

Not having any adverse reaction
to the antidepressant?

Uh-uh.
Appetite back?

Oh, yeah.
Sleeping well?

Like a baby.

Your sex drive?

I want to thank you for that.

It's like meeting a friend
you haven't seen for 20 years.

Yeah, speaking of which,

Your wife was in
here to talk to me.

She came to talk to you? Why?

Well, let's just say
she doesn't share

Your newfound
enthusiasm for sex.

Look, I thought
my sex life was over,

But since
I'm on this medication,

I feel vital, and frankly

I don't think a couple of times
a month is too much to ask.

Well, a couple times a month?

That's all
we're talking about here?

How often
do you have sex, big shot?

It just so happens,
you know, I work late.

It's hard for me to m...

You know something?
We're not talking about me.

I don't know what to do.

She wasn't always like this.

Well, maybe the two of you
should talk to a therapist.

Talk to a stranger?

That doesn't feel right.

Why can't we talk to you?

You see, it's not my
area of expertise.

Oh, look, you've been
our doctor for years.

She trusts you, I trust you.

Then trust me, I don't
want to do this.

What, do I have to beg?

I'm doing enough
of that already.

All right, all right, all right.

Oh, great,
when do we do this, now?

I can get her
over here right now.

Just keep your pants on.

As a matter of fact,
until we all get together,

Consider that my prescription.

Man, you're not going
to believe this.

I have to play sex therapist
to a couple of 80-year-olds.

The bennetts?

Oh, I think that's sweet.

We should all be so lucky
to be in our 80s

And still have
an active sex life.

In a long marriage, the trick
is to keep it interesting.

For instance, the other night,
louis and I, we tried...

Pictures,
margaret, pictures.

You wish.

Good morning, jake.

Depends.

Is leonard here?

No, thank god.
Oh, good,

'cause I can't go through
another day like yesterday.

At least he wasn't
hitting on you.

No, but he was sprinkling salt
all over my braille book.

I didn't know
what the hell I was reading.

Well, he promises me I'll
have my freezer by tomorrow.

So what you're saying is,
we can't kill him.

Not till I get
my freezer.

Then we'll have a place
to hide the body.

Good morning.

It's a bright and sunny day
out there.

Too bad they're all dark
and cloudy for you, huh?

Hello, sweet cakes.

You know, as much as we enjoy
spending time with you, leonard,

There must be things
that are so much more important

For you to be doing
back at your office.

This is my office.

It's a wireless world.

Hey, I'm going to give you
my private number.

You can keep it by your bed

In case you wake up some night
and find you need me.

You know what
I need from you?

I need for you to take
that phone and...

Reggie, freezer.

...Show it to me

Because I want
to get one just like it.

You can call me anytime.

Hey, speaking of calls,

I think I'm getting one
from the downtown office.

Hey, jake, I'm taking
a times for the can.

I don't, don't need details.
Just leave the money.

I'm just borrowing it.
I'm gonna bring it back.

I don't want it back.

Lenny!

Bobby!

Kill me.

You have to
excuse me, bob.

Call from
the downtown office?

No, I'm going
to the can.

(laughing)

You guys are so lucky-- you get
to hang out with lenny all day.

You know what? I don't care
how much money he's saving me.

I can't take it anymore.

I'm throwing him out.

What?

No, reg, you can't.

This freezer's important
for both of us.

If you don't have it,
you don't serve food.

You don't serve food,
then I don't sell tums.

So I don't care how rude he is,
how bad he hits on you.

Whatever he wants, just,
just take one for the team.

That is easy for you to say.

You haven't seen him.

Well, he can't look worse
than his breath.

Bob:
Wait a second,

I-I can't believe
what I'm hearing here.

Lenny's a great guy.

He's going to get you
an incredible deal.

And what do you care?

Oh, wait a minute.

Are you getting
a cut out of this?

Bob is hurt.

I do this out of the goodness
of my heart.

How much?

Five percent.

Hey, reg.

Did you get that
freezer yet?

Not yet.

Well, I probably shouldn't
smoke on an empty stomach.

Let me have have
some coffee to go.

False alarm.

Usually I say no news
is good news,

But not in this case.

(laughs)

Who's this?

You don't want to know.

Yeah, you're right.

Besides, I have patients
waiting for me.

Hey, you're a doctor, great.

Do you have anything
that grows hair?

You can always use whatever
you're spraying in your ears.

Oh, john,

The bennetts are waiting for you
in your office.

Oh, right, my little talk
about sex over 80.

That could be very dangerous.

You could lose control
of the car.

80 years old, linda.

Ew, how'd you like to pull up
next to that car?

No, linda, I...

Yeah, that would be bad.

Oh, by the way, john,

We decided to have pizza
for lunch.

Oh, great,
I love pizza.

What do you want on it?

Oh, anything's fine with me.

You two pick.

How about mushrooms?

I love mushrooms.

Oh, anything but mushrooms.

Order the pizza.

But he said...

Order the damn pizza.

Oh.
Mr. Bennett,
mrs. Bennett.

Hello, doctor.

Hi, doc, you're looking good.
How are you?

Thank you.

Well, I guess we know
why we're here.

You two have been together
a long time.

Needless to say,
you're pretty set in your ways,

And then along comes life

And throws you
this unexpected curve.

Which I think is
all the more reason

To, to talk to each other,
you know,

And get everything out
in the open, right?

Right.

Okay, all better, then?

Did you understand
a thing he said?

Not a word.

Look, y-you're going to have
to help me out here.

That's what I keep
telling her.

Howard, please.

Howard:
Look,

What am I supposed to do?

I walk by the bathroom,
I look in,

She's in there in her slip
rubbing bengay on her knee,

I get hot.

Where was all this
energy 60 years ago

When I wanted to go
backpacking through europe?

60 years ago, the nazis were
backpacking through europe.

Let's just try to stay on topic,
all right?

We're here to talk openly and
honestly about your sex life.

The way I understand it,
you want sex all the time

And you,
not so much.

Not at all.

I never said that.

I, I just want to be able
to vacuum without surprises.

You used to give me flowers
and take me dancing.

Now, see, there you go, see,
I think what your wife wants

Is just a little more romance.

Oh, thank you, doctor.

All you I ever hear you say
is "I want you."

Just once I'd like to hear you
say "I love you."

You don't know
I love you?

Harriet, I've loved you from
the first moment I saw you.

In fact, that first day

I fell in love with you
three times:

When I saw you walking
toward me, when we spoke,

And when I watched you
walk away.

That feeling
has never changed,

And I'm sorry if I ever
made you feel it did.

Oh, howard, that's so sweet.

Yeah, really, howard.

Let's go home.

I'd love that.

Oh.
(chuckles)

Here we go.
Thank you.

Oh, thank you so much,
doctor.

Oh, you're welcome.

Thank you.
My pleasure.

I'm glad, I'm glad
I could help.

Chicks.

You got to tell them
what they want to hear.

Good news, gorgeous.

Guess what I have for you.

I'm really afraid
to answer that question.

Don't be.
It's your new freezer.

Bob:
Huh, what'd I tell you?

Is he the guy or is he the guy?

I said I was going to get her
a freezer, I got her a freezer.

When I do business,

It's on the up-and-up.

Okay, who do I write
the check to?

An offshore bank
in the cayman islands.

We'll discuss it over dinner.

Dinner?

Well, come on, sweetheart, you
didn't think the price you got

Was out of the goodness
of my heart, did you?

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about you and me,
you know.

That was always
part of the deal.

Bob?

I swear, reg, he never said
anything about this.

I don't care who said what,
I'm not going out with him.

Then you're not getting
your freezer.

Hey, look, lenny.

I kid around as much
as the next guy, but...

What are you doing here?

Stay out of this, bob.

I'm working here.

Lenny, she's a friend of mine.

And I'm trying to make her
a friend of mine.

Look, lenny, you're way
over the line here.

You can't treat her
like that.

Back off, bob, I'm
making my play here.

Look, lenny, I'm serious.

You're kidding me.
No, I'm not,
and if you keep this up,

I'm gonna call
the better business bureau.
Don't make me laugh.

I'll call your wife.
Doesn't scare me.

I'll call your mother.
So where do you
want that freezer?

Bring it
around the back!

What the hell?
I took a shot.

Sorry about that, reg.
I didn't know.

I believe you.

I really appreciate
you stepping in like that.

Glad to help.

Do me a favor,
would you?

If anybody asks,

Could he have been a lot bigger
and could I have hit him?

Absolutely.

You kicked his ass.

Thanks, reg.

Hi, reg.

Word on the street is
you're back in business.

Yeah, I guess so.

Don't seem too excited about it.

Well, why should I be?

I almost prostituted myself
for a major appliance.

At least you didn't have
to play sex therapist

To a couple of 80-year-olds.

Do I want to hear about this?

I sure as hell didn't.

You know, it just
doesn't seem fair.

When other people work hard,
they seem to get ahead.

And look at what
I had to go through

Just to end up exactly
right back where I started.

I know what you mean.

I mean, I don't like
to complain,

But I never thought
life would be this tough.

I did.

Ever since I was a kid.

Once when I was seven,

I was playing hide-and-go-seek
with some friends.

It was my turn to hide,

I crawled into this hollow
tree on my neighbor's yard.

Best place ever.

Nobody looked for you, did they?

No, and they took
my bike, too.