Becker (1998–2004): Season 4, Episode 19 - Too Much, Too Late - full transcript

Reggie becomes obsessed with helping Jake reach goals he developed in the sixth grade. Linda saves a patient's life and practically assumes the role of a second doctor at Becker's office.

Good morning, becker.

Yeah, this morning
doesn't even have

A shot at being good.

I stepped in chewing gum.

I swear, you know...!

Gum on the sidewalks--

Just another sign of the
complete breakdown of society.

And you know who's to blame,
don't you?

Republicans?

The democrats?

I'm going with
the phone company.



No, the irs.

They give these huge
tax breaks to corporations,

Which means there's less money
for education,

Which means schools
can't hire enough teachers,

Which means kids aren't being
taught social responsibility,

Which means they spit
their gum on the sidewalk,

Where it ends up on my shoe.

Got to hand it to him.

I didn't think
he could get here from there.

Can I have some
coffee, please?

Hey, jake.

Hey, guys.
What's up, jake?

Check this out.

I just got this great letter
in the mail.



Oh, yeah?
Let me see.

Oh, wow. Publisher's
clearing house.

Hey, they don't send
those to just anybody.

Well... Yeah, they do.

Jake:
I'm sorry about that.

That was the wrong letter.

When I was
in the sixth grade,

My teacher, mrs. Mcguire,

Had us write a list
of ten things

That we wanted
to accomplish in our life.

Now, all these years later,

She sent them back to everybody.

All right, jake's letter.

Here we go. All right.

"ten things I want to accomplish
by jake t-bone malinak."

"t-bone"?

I was going through
a blues period.

Ju-just read it, all right?

Becker:
"number one:

Become the first
black president."

Well, that's still open.

"two: See the grand canyon."

So much for that one.

"three: Be an astronaut.

Four: Meet an angel."

Oh, when I was little,

I used to dream that
an angel would appear

In my bedroom
and show me heaven.

Actually, I meant one
of charlie's angels.

It was pretty much
the same dream, though.

"five: Eat a whole gallon

"of o'malley's mint chocolate
chip ice cream by myself.

Six: Do a pull-up."

Boy, you had some
lofty goals, there, t-bone.

Can you do a pull-up?

Th-that's not the...
Yeah, all right.

"seven:

Play in the world series."

Well, that's out.

But, hey, look
on the bright side.

You can still
be an umpire.

All right, let's see. "number
eight: Ride an elephant.

Nine: Kiss mara jenkins."

Ah, let me guess.

She developed early.

Mm. Guys would come
from blocks away

Just to watch her skip rope.

"ten: Mount everest."

Is that another girl
in your class?

No. I wanted to climb
mount everest.

You know something?

This list is nice to have,

As would be
a cup of coffee.

In a minute, becker.

So how many of those things
did you do on the list?

Uh...

Well, none of them.

Becker: Well, it's
no big deal, you know.

Life moves on. Things change.

You know, like,
when I was younger,

Once I wanted a cup of coffee.

Did any of you guys
ever notice

That he drinks coffee
all day and never pees?

You know, this morning
when amanda read me that list,

I was laughing, but now
it just seems kind of sad.

It's not sad, jake.
It's sweet.

Well, it is
a little sad.

Jake: You'd think,
after 20 years,

I'd have accomplished
something.

What a loser.

Oh, relax. If we
all became what
we wanted to be

When we were 11,
everyone would be
an astronaut.

Oh, not me.
I'd be a tollbooth operator.

What? When I was a kid,

I thought it was a great job.

You sat in a booth,
and people throw money at you.

You know, there's a
place on 42nd street,

Where you can
still do that.

Margaret, guess
what I have.

A good excuse for being late.

Better. I brought you
something dark, sweet and rich.

You got denzel washington
in there?

Better-- fudge brownies.

Oh, those aren't like
the ones you bought

At that concert
last year, are they?

That was one time,
and you didn't have
to eat so many.

They made me so hungry,
I couldn't stop.

Just don't bring
that kind in here again.

I am not spending
another afternoon
at the planetarium.

Mr. Levin, either you start
watching your cholesterol

Or we'll be able
to melt you down

And spread you
on a muffin.

I'll be good, I promise.

Oh, brownies!

Well, I suppose
one couldn't hurt.

You'd think,
until you spend a weekend

Locked in your closet,
listening to pink floyd.

(choking)

Moist, aren't they?

(coughing)

Are you choking?

Can you speak?

John, get out here!

(groans)

What's going on?
Are you all right?

Here, sit down.
Sit down.

There we go.

Here you go.
Here you go.

You all right?
Mm.

Yeah, I'm okay now.

You sure?

Yes.

Oh, thank you.

That was no big deal.

No big deal?

You... You
saved my life.

I can't thank
you enough.

It was heroic.

Thank you so much.

Aah!

I told him cholesterol
could kill him, didn't I?

Linda... Linda, I am
so proud of you.

I didn't even know that
you knew heimlich maneuver.

I guess after
three years

Of walking past that
poster in the hall,

Something sank in.

That poster is
about sexual harassment.

It's the same move.

Reg, I'll have
a cheeseburger

And coffee, please.

That's terrific.

Thanks.

I'll see you, then.

Okay, do you guys remember
that clown I dated?

You'll have to be
more specific.

The actual clown.

The one who went
to clown college.

You dated a yale man?

Anyway...

The circus is at
the garden this week,

And steve promised that...

Wh-who's steve?

Fine. Beppo.

Anyway, he said
that I could bring jake early

So he could ride
one of the elephants.

Does jake want to ride
an elephant?

Weren't you listening?
It was on his list.

List? What you mean that...

That thing
that his teacher sent him?

So what?

So, I think he'd feel
better about himself

If he'd accomplish
one of those things.

That was just a stupid list
that an 11-year-old made up.

I disagree.

I think that list is symbolic

Of all the things jake feels
bad about not having done.

Leave the man alone, you know.

He doesn't need your pity.

It's not pity.

I'm doing something
you might not be familiar with:

Being a good friend.

Yeah, well,
you should be doing something

You're not familiar with:

Minding your own business.

Beppo... Beppo...?

Isn't that the guy you dated

With the big shoes
and wore the white makeup?

Actually, no.

Hey, reg.

Reggie:
Oh, jake,

Don't take off your coat.

I'm taking you to do something
you've wanted to do

For a very long time.

Yet I leave my coat on.

Interesting.

Just go.

I'll explain
on the way.

Hey, becker, do me a favor
and close up for me, will ya?

Beppo.

(snaps fingers)

Wasn't he the bald guy
with the big red nose

And the little tiny car?

You want to know
what's sad, bob?

It wasn't him either.

Margaret, is it
too much to ask

To keep a pen or a
pencil in the exam room

So I have something
to write with?

Like this?

Yeah, well, that isn't
in the exam room, is it?

Oh, hey, mr. Levin.
How you feeling?

Oh, I feel terrific.

I just wanted to come in
and say how grateful I am.

Oh, I'm glad we
could do something.

Linda... This
is for you.

It's not much.

Just a watch.

Oh, you didn't
have to do that.

Ooh, but I'm really
happy you did.

This is beautiful.

Boy, that looks
expensive.

There's no way
to put a price

On what linda
did for me.

Thanks to you, I can live
a long, full life.

Well, you know,
if you watch your cholesterol.

Huh? Yeah, whatever.

Well...

Thank you again, linda.

No, thank you.

No, thank you.

No, thank you.

You're both grateful,
I got it, I got it.

Gee, who thought
there'd be

An upside
to helping people?

Did you see that?

He never gave
me anything.

I've been working to save

That butterball's life
for years.

Oh, I'm glad you're still here.

Uh, we had a little
accident,

And I think jake
hurt his knee.

Whoo, smells like
he had an accident.

I fell in elephant crap.

Where?

At a bowling alley.

We were at the circus.

Oh, yes, right,
the circus.

Where you took jake
to make his life
better, right.

Check his knee out,
will you?

Get an x ray, please.

Oh, sure.

Soon as I
hose him off.

What the hell happened?

Well, the elephant
leaned down--

You know how they do--

And we put jake
on his head

And things
were going great.

And then?

And then the
elephant stood up,

And jake kind of
flew off his back.

Right. And what have
we learned, reg?

Well, a couple things.

Um, one, is
to always make sure

That the harness is buckled.

And, two, that even
though he was covered
in elephant dung,

Jake still wasn't
the worst-smelling
guy on the subway.

That's very funny.

You know what
I'm talking about.

I mean, you think
you're doing

Something good for him,
but you're not, reg.

Oh, but if you could have
just seen his face

For that split second
he was up there...

I've said this before.

You know, leave the man alone.

But, becker, my heart
was in the right place.

I'll do better next time.

What do you...? Next time?

You're right, you're right.

I'll leave him alone.

I promise.

(screaming)

(grunts and groans)

It's cold, it's windy,
it's mount everest!

Get me down! Get me...

(screaming)

Taking a blind man
rock climbing?

What were you thinking?

But if you could
have just seen his face

For that split second
he was up there.

Up where? Mt. Everest?

It was a plastic rock
in a warehouse.

I was just...

You promised
you would leave him alone.

I was just trying
to make him happy.

Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

Oh, well, he certainly seems
happy, doesn't he, reg?

Taking a blind man
rock climbing?

What were you thinking?

But if you could
have just seen his face

For that split second...

Oh, forget it.

John, I-I taped his shoulder
like you asked.

Thank you.

If you really want
to be happy,

Take two of these
every four hours.

Come on, jake.

Yeah, see you
later, buddy--

Unless wile e. Coyote there

Straps you to a rocket
and shoots you off into space.

Well, excuse me
for caring.

Ow!

(groaning)

Sorry, jake.

And then just as mr. Levin
was turning all these colors

And gasping what could
have been his last breath,

I said to him, "don't
go into the light."

'cause he almost hit
that lamp over there.

Linda, have all these patients
been checked in?

Oh, they're not patients.

We were on the bus together.

They wanted to hear
the end of my story.

Oh, well, it's time
to get back to work.

Go on. Get out of here.
Go ahead.

Linda, can you get me
mrs. Rivera's chart

And put it in room one?

Do you really think

I should still be doing
that kind of thing?

I mean, don't you think
I've moved on

From the menial paperwork
of medicine

To the more important part--
saving lives?

Margaret, how are you
at saving lives?

Because I swear
to god...

John.

Dr. Becker, in our profession,

What do you think
is the most rewarding:

Ripping someone from the jaws
of death, or is it the gifts?

Did you see my watch?

Linda, you forgot her chart.

Oh, thanks, margaret,
you're a lifesaver.

Oh, wait a minute.
That's me.

I don't know how much more
I can take of this.

Oh, so now you're angry

Because she finally took
an interest in medicine?

Yes. That's my job.

Oh, come on, john.
Leave her alone.

After all, she did save
someone's life.

Do you know how many
I've saved?

I'm still wearing
the same crappy watch

I got for subscribing
to newsweek.

You know, I-I am that close
to killing linda

Just for that watch.

Oh, don't be silly.

Besides, it's a ladies' watch.

Yeah, well, so is this one.

Jake, I have an idea
about that list of yours.

Reg, you almost killed me twice.

Whatever it is, no.

Just hear me out.
Remember how you said

You wanted to be an astronaut?

Reg, reg, would you please
stop helping me?

I'm running out of pain pills.

Hello, all.

Jake malinak, right outside
is a woman from your past.

And relax, she's not pregnant.

What?

Forget it, bob.
Jake's not interested.

What do you mean
jake's not interested?

I went to a lot of trouble.

Went to a lot of trouble
to do what?

Well, jake, I asked bob
to find mara jenkins.

You know, the girl
you wanted to kiss
in sixth grade?

Mara-mara jenkins is here?

Yo, mara, bring it on in here!

Hi, jake.

Mara? Wow, I can't believe it.

It is so good to see you.
You look great.

You sound like you look great.

So, how have you been?

Good. Really good.

So bob tells me that
wanting to kiss me
was on your list.

You know, that was
a really long time ago.

No, no. I think that
is the sweetest thing

I have ever heard.

Really?

Really.

Thanks. That was nice.

My pleasure.

It was really good
seeing you again, jake.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

Oh, and, uh, by the way,

You were on my list, too.

Boy, that was some kiss.

Made the hair on the back
of your head lay down.

I can't tell you how good
it makes me feel

To finally help you cross
something off your list.

That was nice.

Too bad it wasn't mara jenkins.

What?

There's no way
I was on her list.

She wasn't even in my class.

She lived across town
and went to another school.

Bob?

All right, all right.

I couldn't find mara jenkins.

But you said...

All right,
I didn't even look.

Then who was that?

I paid her 20 bucks
to kiss jake in the diner.

For $50, she would have kissed
him anywhere he wanted.

You brought a prostitute
in here?

No, she's a brain surgeon
who kisses men for money.

You know, I think
she was a surgeon.

She almost removed
my tonsils.

Linda, did you call
the pharmacy

About mrs. Nichol's
prescription?

Linda?

I'm sorry, margaret.

I'm so absorbed in this book,
I didn't hear you.

You're absorbed in the elements
of clinical toxicology?

Yeah. It's all about drugs.

It's amazing how much
I already knew.

Mr. Lewis, these antibiotics
should clear up that infection.

You can get back
to running in no time.

Running away from his wife
if she ever finds out

How he got that infection.

Doctor...

I didn't want to say anything
in front of the patient,

But did you consider that
his infection might be viral

And not bacterial?

Margaret...
No, john.

I mean, it's an easy mistake
to make.

Even I could be fooled.

M-margaret, please...

No, john.

I don't know why
you keep asking her.

After all, she's just a nurse.

Ooh, boy, now you're
in trouble. (grunts)

Just a nurse?

For you to know anywhere near
the amount of medicine I do,

It would take the rest
of your natural life,

Which may be a lot shorter
than you think.

Between the two of us,

We have more than
40 years experience.

Do you know how many lives
we've saved?

Every person who walks
through that door

Gets a level
of medical expertise

You can't even dream of.

In fact, there are dead bugs
in that light fixture

That know more
about medicine than you do,

And they need to be cleaned out,
so get to it.

You know, margaret,

The new England journal
of medicine says--

And I think my colleague
here would concur--

People with violent tempers
are at serious risk

For heart attacks and strokes.

John?

(sighing):
Well, actually,

She's right.

You know, reg,
this is really great ice cream.

You like that, huh?
Mm-hmm.

You know
what kind it is?

Mint chocolate chip.

Not just mint chocolate chip.

O'malley's.
Remember o'malley's?

It was on your list.

Oh...
Oh, for god's sake!

All you have to do

Is eat an entire gallon,

And you'll finally have done
something with your life.

I need a reality
check here.

She's nuts, right?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

You got to leave
this alone.

Come on, jake. It's easy.

I can't tell you
how many Saturday nights

I've eaten a gallon
of ice cream...

With an oreo
instead of a spoon.

Why do you care?
Forget about it.

Come on, jake.

How many times
have we sat in here

And made great plans
and then just said,

"aw, forget about it."

Come on.

Just do this one thing
on your list.

Why don't you make
your own list?

Well, I was going to,

But then I said,
"ah, forget about it."

You know, when he was
a failure, he was happy.

Now look what
you've done to him.

You know, for the last time,
reg, leave the man alone.

Jake, the next voice you hear

Will be a voice from your past.

And relax, he's not pregnant.

He?

There's a guy down the block
asking everybody

If they knew you,
so I brought him in.

Jake?

Who's there?

Jimmy vernon.

Jimmy vernon? Jimmy...

Hey, everybody,
this is jimmy vernon.

We sat next to each
other in sixth grade.
Hey.

Remember how we used
to sneak cigarettes
outside the gym?

Remember that?

Yeah. Remember
how you used

To always cheat
off my papers?

Until you squealed on me.

We sort of lost touch
after that, huh?

Well, you know,
I had to repeat
the sixth grade.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh!

That was on my list.

Oh, my god! Are you
all right, jake?
No.

What kind of idiot
hits a blind man?
Come on, becker,

The little squealer
kind of had it coming.

Oh, man, this hurts.

Maybe some ice cream
will make you feel better.

You know what? You know what?

Get away from me
and stay away from, all of you.

My life is what it is.
I can do nothing about it.

Come on, jake.
Don't be depressed.

I mean, all you really needed
was a different list.

Think about it.

I mean, if your dream was
to be dumped in elephant crap,

Slammed against the wall,
punched in the gut

And kissed by a man,
you'd be happy now.

A man?

I kissed a man?

Why do you think
it only cost me 20 bucks?