Becker (1998–2004): Season 4, Episode 12 - The Ex-Files - full transcript
Reggie begins dating one of John's recently divorced friends. However, she can't stop obsessing about the man's former wife.
I'd love to know who
that guy is with becker.
Uh-oh, it's
mating season again.
Could be.
He's real cute.
You're right.
He is cute.
What?
I'm comfortable enough
with my sexuality
To say another man is cute.
(chuckling)
Do you think
I'm cute?
You have your cute days.
Well, that's good
to know.
All right, reg,
I'll see you later.
I'm going to the
post office.
Hey, you mind
if I go with you?
If you're going to
mail a letter, fine.
If you're going 'cause
You want to watch me
walk, forget it.
No, really, I'm going that way.
Yeah, that's the vibe
I'm getting.
Okay, who needs coffee?
I do.
John:
Thank you, reg.
Ah, you're so welcome.
Nothing like freshly brewed
coffee to start your day, right?
I wouldn't know.
Hi. I don't believe we've met.
I'm reggie.
I'm dan.
I'm sal.
Butt out, sal.
How about that coffee, dan?
No thanks. I'm fine.
Actually, I have to make
a quick call.
And don't
listen to him.
Your coffee
is delicious.
Yeah.
Okay, spill it.
Who is he?
Dan fallon.
Who's dan fallon?
A friend of mine
from medical school.
A cardiologist.
Oh, so he's not like you.
He's a real doctor.
Well, that really hurts,
coming from a real waitress.
Don't... Don't
get all excited.
He just came out
of a long marriage.
Oh.
Yeah.
Broke up about
six months ago.
Oh.
Look, becker, if you could
just...
No.
All I want is...
No.
All I'm asking...
No. No.
No, I do not set people up.
They always hold
you responsible, you know.
They're married 50 years--
One of them dies,
it's your fault.
Come on, becker, please.
It's not gonna happen, reg.
He's a friend of mine.
So is his ex-wife.
Well, I'm a friend of yours.
Then don't ask me to do this.
You know, there's
only one thing better
Than a grateful patient.
It's a grateful patient
with the ranger tickets.
Yeah.
Oh, I love the rangers.
Oh, god.
You're a hockey fan?
Oh, give me a hot dog,
a beer and some broken teeth,
And I'm in heaven.
Why don't you join me, then?
John's probably getting
sick of me anyway.
No, I'd love to go
to the hockey game.
Pick you up here
about 6:00?
Sounds great.
Oh, you know, I refer patients
to you for 20 years--
She gets to go
to the hockey game.
Don't worry, john.
Next tickets I get...
I'll probably still take her.
(grumbling):
Yeah...
Oh, linda, I'm
so glad you're here.
We've got wall-to-wall patients
and a month's worth
Of insurance claims
to get out.
I'll get right on it.
Oh, my god.
You can see right
through that blouse.
You are not working here
dressed like that.
Yes!
Get back here.
Look, I can't stay here.
I'm terribly inappropriate.
I really should be
someplace dark, like a movie.
What were you thinking?
I don't know.
Maybe something with
bruce willis, or...
You're staying,
and you're wearing that.
And you, get your eyes
back in your head, you pervert.
Great. Now I look
like a frumpy nurse.
Excuse me?
And by that, I mean
I don't wear it
nearly as well as you do.
Hi, margaret.
I know I'm
a little early.
What time's my
appointment again?
11:00.
Got it.
Tomorrow.
Where is my head?
Well, we all
have our theories.
Okay, I'm putting
it in my book
For tomorrow, Tuesday, at 11:00.
Tomorrow's Wednesday.
It is?
Where does the time go?
No, really, where does it go?
Hey, margaret, is becker in?
Yeah, he's
in his office.
Thanks.
So, has he called?
Who?
Dan.
No. Why would
he call?
To tell you what a great time
we had on our date, you know.
How we went to the game,
we held hands,
We stayed up all night talking.
Oh, right, I remember.
He did call.
He told me to tell you
to meet him
Under the bleachers
after study hall.
See ya.
No, becker, wait.
If you recall,
I have a rule.
I don't want to get
involved in this, reg.
Yes, I know, and I respect that.
But I think I might really
like this guy.
So to hell with your rule.
Tell me every single thing
You know about his ex-wife.
Just... Just leave me
alone, all right?
Becker, he made
some comment
About how different
I was from her.
Is it true?
Are we different?
(high-pitched):
No, you're not different.
Why'd your voice
go up like that?
(high-pitched):
It did not.
You just did it again.
When people's voices
go up like that,
They're hiding something.
(high-pitched):
Don't be silly.
What is it that you don't
want me to know about her?
Who is she?
What does she look like?
You're... You're different.
That's all.
You're tall;
she's not so tall.
You own a diner;
she doesn't.
Look, we all have
our own strengths, right?
Right.
So what are my strengths?
I just told you.
You're tall and you own a diner.
What...
Dr. Becker,
Mrs. Cohen's waiting
for you in room two.
Hi, reggie.
Hi.
Why are you wearing a bedspread?
It's margaret's and I hate it.
So take it off.
Put it back on.
Clearly, I had
my hands full.
You know what I mean.
Look, look...
If you and dan are
having a good time,
Forget about his ex-wife.
You know, just leave it alone.
You're right.
Yeah.
I always obsess about stuff
like this and I shouldn't.
I mean, who cares about her?
I have a lot to offer.
(high-pitched):
Sure you do.
So, I spent five months
in one of those horrible
"just divorced"
apartment complexes.
It's like a halfway house
For guys learning to live
with half their money.
Well, this place
is certainly nice.
Well, not yet,
But I hope it will be,
once I get unpacked.
All my personal stuff's
still in all these boxes.
Oh, personal stuff.
You know, scrapbooks
and photo albums.
It's amazing
How you can reduce
your entire life
To a few packing boxes.
These boxes right here...
These are the ones
with the photo albums?
Interesting.
What kind of a host am I?
Let me get you
something to drink.
Is wine okay?
That would be great.
I'll be right back.
Comic books... Baseball cards...
Geez, when do they grow up?
Red or white?
Red would be great.
Make yourself at home.
Oh, I am.
You want something
to go with that wine?
I've got
something here
That I'm pretty
sure is cheese.
Sounds good.
Take your time.
Books... Cds...
Wine glasses...
Where the hell
are the pictures?
Jackpot.
The wedding album.
Here you go.
Oh, about the cheese--
I took a closer look.
It wasn't cheese.
Mm.
I hope you don't mind
drinking out of these.
I haven't found
my wine glasses yet.
Oh, they're right in...
That's okay.
We don't have
to be fancy.
I'm so disorganized.
Well, I'd be happy
To go through your stuff...
I mean, help you
go through your stuff.
You know,
sort everything out.
Or we could just
enjoy the wine.
Right.
Mmm, this is great.
You must know
a lot about wine.
No, actually my ex-wife
was the wine expert.
She drank a lot?
She was a drinker?
No, she just
liked good wine.
But let's not
talk about her.
There's something else
I'd rather do.
Look through
your wedding album?
No.
Wasn't that better?
I don't know.
I haven't seen your album.
(laughs)
(groans)
Reggie, you
look tired.
Oh, I was up all night.
Oh, that's right;
new boyfriend.
Relationships are always
so hot in the beginning.
You know, before you have
to put a name with a face.
I wasn't with dan;
I was by myself.
Ooh, that could be good, too.
No, I... I couldn't sleep.
I was up all night
stressing about dan's ex.
What about her?
Well, that's just it.
I don't know anything
about her.
Who is this woman?
What does she do?
What does she look like?
I got to find out
what I'm up against.
Dating divorced men
is so complicated.
That's why I only date guys
who are single or are married.
You know, reg, I
have a novel idea.
If you want to know about
his ex-wife, ask him.
I don't want to pry.
That would be wrong.
So, I got bob to do it for me.
What are you talking about?
I sent him over to becker's.
He and dan and his ex-wife
all went to college together.
So, maybe there's pictures.
Well, as long as
you're not prying.
Greetings, everybody.
Bob's back,
and he's got the goods.
Oh, did you get something
on dan's ex?
Oh, forget about her.
What bob found
is so much better.
Feast your eyes on this.
Ah...
Uh... A little
help here.
Well, my fine, blind friend,
Back in college
it seems john becker
Was a member of a barbershop
quartet called-- get this--
The harvard squares.
(laughter)
Oh, my god!
I recognize
that sport coat.
(laughter)
"john 'bebop' becker sings
'good night, sweetheart'
to the kappas."
What does that mean?
You know what it means.
That song--
¶ good night, sweetheart,
well, it's time to go ¶
¶ doe-doe-doe-doe.
(laughing harder)
Hey, I'm hearing laughing,
I'm hearing singing,
But I'm not hearing anything
about dan's ex.
Oh, yeah, that.
Her name is
pam patterson.
You know, and I found
a bunch of clippings,
But they all can't be
about the same person.
I mean, no one woman
can be miss virginia,
A rhodes scholar, phi beta kappa
And turned down
a fellowship to nasa.
Miss virginia? A rhodes scholar?
I haven't been any of those.
Well, look, you got a lot
of great qualities.
And, you know, any guy
would be lucky to have you.
You really think so?
(high-pitched):
Sure I do.
Why didn't you tell me
that pam patterson
Is the most accomplished woman
in the entire world?
Oh, so you saw that thing
on the news last night?
She was on the news?
Well, every time the u.N.
Has a new policy...
She works for the u.N.?
No, the president, really.
You know... You know,
the commission
On public education?
Well, she's the head
Of the whole...
You know, never mind. Look.
Why even bring this up now?
You know, he's with you.
But why?
I don't know.
There's no such thing
as a stupid question.
Idiot.
(margaret and linda humming
"good night, sweetheart")
What is that?
What's what?
That song.
Oh, that?
That was "rock you like a
hurricane" by the scorpions.
Oh. Well, all right, then.
Morning.
I know, I know,
I'm a little late.
A day late.
That's impossible.
Well, you'd think so.
Oh, I know
what happened.
It's my aunt connie's fault.
She just came in
from australia.
Bringing yesterday with her?
No, silly.
When she visits, I set
all the clocks back 12 hours.
That way,
she doesn't get jet lag.
Maybe that'll make sense later.
Well, you know,
you do have to reschedule.
How about tomorrow morning
at, uh... 9:00?
Perfect.
We'll just be
finishing dinner.
So, jake...
Yes, bob?
How are things going
with you and amanda?
Pretty good.
You know, in fact, lately
She's been calling
me "sweetheart."
Really?
Yeah. You know, I usually
don't like pet names, but...
Well, I think
"sweetheart's"
kind of catchy.
Yeah, yeah, it is.
It is.
It's almost melodic.
Yeah. I thought
so, too.
You know, it's got a nice
ring to it, you know?
Mm-hmm.
"how you doing,
sweetheart?"
"hi, sweetheart."
"good night, sweetheart."
Yeah, how about
"shut up, sweetheart"?
Yeah, jake, you're right.
That's nice.
Good night, sweetheart.
Well, it's time to go.
I hate to leave you,
but I really must say
I got to count
some candy.
¶ hello, hello, hello.
What the hell
are you doing?
Nothing.
Can't a guy say hello?
(laughing)
(knocking)
Hi. I'm sorry to come
by without calling.
Just... I've had
something on my mind
And I wanted to talk
to you about it.
Sure. No problem. Come on in.
Just putting the
place together.
Have a seat.
It's just one little question
and then I'll go.
Okay. Shoot.
Why the hell
are you going out with me?
Are you insane?
Reg, what are you
talking about?
I can't compete
with your ex-wife.
I... I mean, today,
When she was busy
advising the president,
You know what I was doing?
I was changing the fat
in the deep fryer.
So what?
So, she's perfect.
She writes books,
she wins awards.
She could cook.
I can't do any of those.
It was over
between pam and me.
I haven't spoken
to her in months.
She could be on the
moon for all I care.
See, but that's just it.
Sh-she actually could
be on the moon.
Well, I'm not going
to lie to you.
Pam is an impressive woman,
But she's got
a lot of faults.
Name one.
Seriously, I'll take anything.
She snores.
Really?
Like a pig?
No, no. It's kind
of cute, really.
Like a...
Oh, yeah, like a pig.
No, I really
Shouldn't have come here.
I-I'm sorry.
I'm being stupid.
I got to get back
to the diner.
Wait, reggie, listen.
Everything that pam's done--
All of her accomplishments--
none of that matters.
She's not in my life anymore.
You are.
Oh, you're sweet.
I really needed
to hear that.
Oh, geez, now I...
I kind of feel bad
About calling her so
many times and hanging up.
Talk to you later.
Absolutely.
(playing
"good night, sweetheart")
Linda!
What is that?
Nothing.
I was just dusting the piano.
Well, stop it.
(humming
"good night, sweetheart")
Hey, what's
going on here?
Nothing.
Well, stop it.
I'm here, margaret.
Right day, right time,
I made it.
I guess third time's a charm.
Well, actually, this
is my fourth time.
I was here this
morning at 6:00.
I had the clock
upside down.
I thought it was 9:00.
Well, wouldn't that be...
It's a digital clock.
I'm not stupid.
I'll get your file.
(humming
"good night, sweetheart" )
You're doing it, too.
Why are you singing that song?
Was I singing?
Yes. You were singing
"good night, sweetheart."
I'm hearing it everywhere I go.
People are either
humming or singing it
Or tapping it
out on the piano.
Dr. Becker, you're not
making any sense.
How's it feel?
You mean my shoulder?
It's still a little sore.
That's why I'm here.
What are you talking about?
Well, a couple of weeks ago,
you examined my shoulder,
And you suggested
that I get a second opinion.
So... Here I am.
So, what did they say?
Oh, you mean a second opinion
from another doctor.
Coffee, reg.
¶ hello...
¶ hello...
Hello.
(stifled laughter)
Becker, I haven't heard from dan
in a couple of days.
I wondered
if you'd talked to him.
Yeah, as a matter of fact,
he called me this morning.
Is everything all right?
Uh... You know, we need to talk.
(clears throat)
Talk?
Yeah. Maybe we should sit down.
Talk and sit?
Yeah, yeah, I'm afraid so.
Ooh, I got a bad feeling.
Yeah, this is
never easy, reg.
It's about you and dan.
Oh, I knew it.
He's going to come here
And break up
with me, isn't he?
No, no, no,
that's not going to happen.
Oh, thank god.
Yeah, he sent me here
to break up with you.
Why?
Well, you know, he...
He realized he missed pam
And decided they still
belonged together.
I thought he was over her.
Well, so did he until
somebody couldn't shut up
About how great she is
And all the, all the
fantastic things she's done.
Me?
Yes, you.
You made him fall in love
with her all over again.
Well, why didn't he come
here and tell me himself?
Uh... Well, the truth is,
Those phony phone calls
really freaked him out.
You know whose fault
this is, don't you?
It's yours.
You should have never
set us up to begin with.
What?!
Yeah, and when you saw
how obsessed I was,
You didn't even
try to stop me.
I did, too.
Well, you didn't
try hard enough.
Oh, yeah, right.
It's all my fault--
yeah, of course.
Yeah, maybe I should
have a rule about
How I shouldn't get involved
in other people's lives!
Oh, becker, why do these
things never work out for me?
Why? Look on the bright side
here, you know.
Maybe the next guy you meet
Will care enough to break up
with you in person.
I'm sorry. You know,
I'm not good at this.
I never know what to say.
Really? 'cause if
you think about it,
All you had
to say was:
¶ doe-doe-doe-doe-doe
¶ good night, sweetheart
¶ well, it's time to go
Where did you get that?
¶ doe-doe-doe-doe-doe
¶ good night, sweetheart
¶ well, it's time to go
I was trying to fit in.
I didn't have any friends,
all right?
¶ we hate to leave you,
but we really must say... ¶
My mother said
I had a great voice.
¶ good night, sweetheart,
good night. ¶
that guy is with becker.
Uh-oh, it's
mating season again.
Could be.
He's real cute.
You're right.
He is cute.
What?
I'm comfortable enough
with my sexuality
To say another man is cute.
(chuckling)
Do you think
I'm cute?
You have your cute days.
Well, that's good
to know.
All right, reg,
I'll see you later.
I'm going to the
post office.
Hey, you mind
if I go with you?
If you're going to
mail a letter, fine.
If you're going 'cause
You want to watch me
walk, forget it.
No, really, I'm going that way.
Yeah, that's the vibe
I'm getting.
Okay, who needs coffee?
I do.
John:
Thank you, reg.
Ah, you're so welcome.
Nothing like freshly brewed
coffee to start your day, right?
I wouldn't know.
Hi. I don't believe we've met.
I'm reggie.
I'm dan.
I'm sal.
Butt out, sal.
How about that coffee, dan?
No thanks. I'm fine.
Actually, I have to make
a quick call.
And don't
listen to him.
Your coffee
is delicious.
Yeah.
Okay, spill it.
Who is he?
Dan fallon.
Who's dan fallon?
A friend of mine
from medical school.
A cardiologist.
Oh, so he's not like you.
He's a real doctor.
Well, that really hurts,
coming from a real waitress.
Don't... Don't
get all excited.
He just came out
of a long marriage.
Oh.
Yeah.
Broke up about
six months ago.
Oh.
Look, becker, if you could
just...
No.
All I want is...
No.
All I'm asking...
No. No.
No, I do not set people up.
They always hold
you responsible, you know.
They're married 50 years--
One of them dies,
it's your fault.
Come on, becker, please.
It's not gonna happen, reg.
He's a friend of mine.
So is his ex-wife.
Well, I'm a friend of yours.
Then don't ask me to do this.
You know, there's
only one thing better
Than a grateful patient.
It's a grateful patient
with the ranger tickets.
Yeah.
Oh, I love the rangers.
Oh, god.
You're a hockey fan?
Oh, give me a hot dog,
a beer and some broken teeth,
And I'm in heaven.
Why don't you join me, then?
John's probably getting
sick of me anyway.
No, I'd love to go
to the hockey game.
Pick you up here
about 6:00?
Sounds great.
Oh, you know, I refer patients
to you for 20 years--
She gets to go
to the hockey game.
Don't worry, john.
Next tickets I get...
I'll probably still take her.
(grumbling):
Yeah...
Oh, linda, I'm
so glad you're here.
We've got wall-to-wall patients
and a month's worth
Of insurance claims
to get out.
I'll get right on it.
Oh, my god.
You can see right
through that blouse.
You are not working here
dressed like that.
Yes!
Get back here.
Look, I can't stay here.
I'm terribly inappropriate.
I really should be
someplace dark, like a movie.
What were you thinking?
I don't know.
Maybe something with
bruce willis, or...
You're staying,
and you're wearing that.
And you, get your eyes
back in your head, you pervert.
Great. Now I look
like a frumpy nurse.
Excuse me?
And by that, I mean
I don't wear it
nearly as well as you do.
Hi, margaret.
I know I'm
a little early.
What time's my
appointment again?
11:00.
Got it.
Tomorrow.
Where is my head?
Well, we all
have our theories.
Okay, I'm putting
it in my book
For tomorrow, Tuesday, at 11:00.
Tomorrow's Wednesday.
It is?
Where does the time go?
No, really, where does it go?
Hey, margaret, is becker in?
Yeah, he's
in his office.
Thanks.
So, has he called?
Who?
Dan.
No. Why would
he call?
To tell you what a great time
we had on our date, you know.
How we went to the game,
we held hands,
We stayed up all night talking.
Oh, right, I remember.
He did call.
He told me to tell you
to meet him
Under the bleachers
after study hall.
See ya.
No, becker, wait.
If you recall,
I have a rule.
I don't want to get
involved in this, reg.
Yes, I know, and I respect that.
But I think I might really
like this guy.
So to hell with your rule.
Tell me every single thing
You know about his ex-wife.
Just... Just leave me
alone, all right?
Becker, he made
some comment
About how different
I was from her.
Is it true?
Are we different?
(high-pitched):
No, you're not different.
Why'd your voice
go up like that?
(high-pitched):
It did not.
You just did it again.
When people's voices
go up like that,
They're hiding something.
(high-pitched):
Don't be silly.
What is it that you don't
want me to know about her?
Who is she?
What does she look like?
You're... You're different.
That's all.
You're tall;
she's not so tall.
You own a diner;
she doesn't.
Look, we all have
our own strengths, right?
Right.
So what are my strengths?
I just told you.
You're tall and you own a diner.
What...
Dr. Becker,
Mrs. Cohen's waiting
for you in room two.
Hi, reggie.
Hi.
Why are you wearing a bedspread?
It's margaret's and I hate it.
So take it off.
Put it back on.
Clearly, I had
my hands full.
You know what I mean.
Look, look...
If you and dan are
having a good time,
Forget about his ex-wife.
You know, just leave it alone.
You're right.
Yeah.
I always obsess about stuff
like this and I shouldn't.
I mean, who cares about her?
I have a lot to offer.
(high-pitched):
Sure you do.
So, I spent five months
in one of those horrible
"just divorced"
apartment complexes.
It's like a halfway house
For guys learning to live
with half their money.
Well, this place
is certainly nice.
Well, not yet,
But I hope it will be,
once I get unpacked.
All my personal stuff's
still in all these boxes.
Oh, personal stuff.
You know, scrapbooks
and photo albums.
It's amazing
How you can reduce
your entire life
To a few packing boxes.
These boxes right here...
These are the ones
with the photo albums?
Interesting.
What kind of a host am I?
Let me get you
something to drink.
Is wine okay?
That would be great.
I'll be right back.
Comic books... Baseball cards...
Geez, when do they grow up?
Red or white?
Red would be great.
Make yourself at home.
Oh, I am.
You want something
to go with that wine?
I've got
something here
That I'm pretty
sure is cheese.
Sounds good.
Take your time.
Books... Cds...
Wine glasses...
Where the hell
are the pictures?
Jackpot.
The wedding album.
Here you go.
Oh, about the cheese--
I took a closer look.
It wasn't cheese.
Mm.
I hope you don't mind
drinking out of these.
I haven't found
my wine glasses yet.
Oh, they're right in...
That's okay.
We don't have
to be fancy.
I'm so disorganized.
Well, I'd be happy
To go through your stuff...
I mean, help you
go through your stuff.
You know,
sort everything out.
Or we could just
enjoy the wine.
Right.
Mmm, this is great.
You must know
a lot about wine.
No, actually my ex-wife
was the wine expert.
She drank a lot?
She was a drinker?
No, she just
liked good wine.
But let's not
talk about her.
There's something else
I'd rather do.
Look through
your wedding album?
No.
Wasn't that better?
I don't know.
I haven't seen your album.
(laughs)
(groans)
Reggie, you
look tired.
Oh, I was up all night.
Oh, that's right;
new boyfriend.
Relationships are always
so hot in the beginning.
You know, before you have
to put a name with a face.
I wasn't with dan;
I was by myself.
Ooh, that could be good, too.
No, I... I couldn't sleep.
I was up all night
stressing about dan's ex.
What about her?
Well, that's just it.
I don't know anything
about her.
Who is this woman?
What does she do?
What does she look like?
I got to find out
what I'm up against.
Dating divorced men
is so complicated.
That's why I only date guys
who are single or are married.
You know, reg, I
have a novel idea.
If you want to know about
his ex-wife, ask him.
I don't want to pry.
That would be wrong.
So, I got bob to do it for me.
What are you talking about?
I sent him over to becker's.
He and dan and his ex-wife
all went to college together.
So, maybe there's pictures.
Well, as long as
you're not prying.
Greetings, everybody.
Bob's back,
and he's got the goods.
Oh, did you get something
on dan's ex?
Oh, forget about her.
What bob found
is so much better.
Feast your eyes on this.
Ah...
Uh... A little
help here.
Well, my fine, blind friend,
Back in college
it seems john becker
Was a member of a barbershop
quartet called-- get this--
The harvard squares.
(laughter)
Oh, my god!
I recognize
that sport coat.
(laughter)
"john 'bebop' becker sings
'good night, sweetheart'
to the kappas."
What does that mean?
You know what it means.
That song--
¶ good night, sweetheart,
well, it's time to go ¶
¶ doe-doe-doe-doe.
(laughing harder)
Hey, I'm hearing laughing,
I'm hearing singing,
But I'm not hearing anything
about dan's ex.
Oh, yeah, that.
Her name is
pam patterson.
You know, and I found
a bunch of clippings,
But they all can't be
about the same person.
I mean, no one woman
can be miss virginia,
A rhodes scholar, phi beta kappa
And turned down
a fellowship to nasa.
Miss virginia? A rhodes scholar?
I haven't been any of those.
Well, look, you got a lot
of great qualities.
And, you know, any guy
would be lucky to have you.
You really think so?
(high-pitched):
Sure I do.
Why didn't you tell me
that pam patterson
Is the most accomplished woman
in the entire world?
Oh, so you saw that thing
on the news last night?
She was on the news?
Well, every time the u.N.
Has a new policy...
She works for the u.N.?
No, the president, really.
You know... You know,
the commission
On public education?
Well, she's the head
Of the whole...
You know, never mind. Look.
Why even bring this up now?
You know, he's with you.
But why?
I don't know.
There's no such thing
as a stupid question.
Idiot.
(margaret and linda humming
"good night, sweetheart")
What is that?
What's what?
That song.
Oh, that?
That was "rock you like a
hurricane" by the scorpions.
Oh. Well, all right, then.
Morning.
I know, I know,
I'm a little late.
A day late.
That's impossible.
Well, you'd think so.
Oh, I know
what happened.
It's my aunt connie's fault.
She just came in
from australia.
Bringing yesterday with her?
No, silly.
When she visits, I set
all the clocks back 12 hours.
That way,
she doesn't get jet lag.
Maybe that'll make sense later.
Well, you know,
you do have to reschedule.
How about tomorrow morning
at, uh... 9:00?
Perfect.
We'll just be
finishing dinner.
So, jake...
Yes, bob?
How are things going
with you and amanda?
Pretty good.
You know, in fact, lately
She's been calling
me "sweetheart."
Really?
Yeah. You know, I usually
don't like pet names, but...
Well, I think
"sweetheart's"
kind of catchy.
Yeah, yeah, it is.
It is.
It's almost melodic.
Yeah. I thought
so, too.
You know, it's got a nice
ring to it, you know?
Mm-hmm.
"how you doing,
sweetheart?"
"hi, sweetheart."
"good night, sweetheart."
Yeah, how about
"shut up, sweetheart"?
Yeah, jake, you're right.
That's nice.
Good night, sweetheart.
Well, it's time to go.
I hate to leave you,
but I really must say
I got to count
some candy.
¶ hello, hello, hello.
What the hell
are you doing?
Nothing.
Can't a guy say hello?
(laughing)
(knocking)
Hi. I'm sorry to come
by without calling.
Just... I've had
something on my mind
And I wanted to talk
to you about it.
Sure. No problem. Come on in.
Just putting the
place together.
Have a seat.
It's just one little question
and then I'll go.
Okay. Shoot.
Why the hell
are you going out with me?
Are you insane?
Reg, what are you
talking about?
I can't compete
with your ex-wife.
I... I mean, today,
When she was busy
advising the president,
You know what I was doing?
I was changing the fat
in the deep fryer.
So what?
So, she's perfect.
She writes books,
she wins awards.
She could cook.
I can't do any of those.
It was over
between pam and me.
I haven't spoken
to her in months.
She could be on the
moon for all I care.
See, but that's just it.
Sh-she actually could
be on the moon.
Well, I'm not going
to lie to you.
Pam is an impressive woman,
But she's got
a lot of faults.
Name one.
Seriously, I'll take anything.
She snores.
Really?
Like a pig?
No, no. It's kind
of cute, really.
Like a...
Oh, yeah, like a pig.
No, I really
Shouldn't have come here.
I-I'm sorry.
I'm being stupid.
I got to get back
to the diner.
Wait, reggie, listen.
Everything that pam's done--
All of her accomplishments--
none of that matters.
She's not in my life anymore.
You are.
Oh, you're sweet.
I really needed
to hear that.
Oh, geez, now I...
I kind of feel bad
About calling her so
many times and hanging up.
Talk to you later.
Absolutely.
(playing
"good night, sweetheart")
Linda!
What is that?
Nothing.
I was just dusting the piano.
Well, stop it.
(humming
"good night, sweetheart")
Hey, what's
going on here?
Nothing.
Well, stop it.
I'm here, margaret.
Right day, right time,
I made it.
I guess third time's a charm.
Well, actually, this
is my fourth time.
I was here this
morning at 6:00.
I had the clock
upside down.
I thought it was 9:00.
Well, wouldn't that be...
It's a digital clock.
I'm not stupid.
I'll get your file.
(humming
"good night, sweetheart" )
You're doing it, too.
Why are you singing that song?
Was I singing?
Yes. You were singing
"good night, sweetheart."
I'm hearing it everywhere I go.
People are either
humming or singing it
Or tapping it
out on the piano.
Dr. Becker, you're not
making any sense.
How's it feel?
You mean my shoulder?
It's still a little sore.
That's why I'm here.
What are you talking about?
Well, a couple of weeks ago,
you examined my shoulder,
And you suggested
that I get a second opinion.
So... Here I am.
So, what did they say?
Oh, you mean a second opinion
from another doctor.
Coffee, reg.
¶ hello...
¶ hello...
Hello.
(stifled laughter)
Becker, I haven't heard from dan
in a couple of days.
I wondered
if you'd talked to him.
Yeah, as a matter of fact,
he called me this morning.
Is everything all right?
Uh... You know, we need to talk.
(clears throat)
Talk?
Yeah. Maybe we should sit down.
Talk and sit?
Yeah, yeah, I'm afraid so.
Ooh, I got a bad feeling.
Yeah, this is
never easy, reg.
It's about you and dan.
Oh, I knew it.
He's going to come here
And break up
with me, isn't he?
No, no, no,
that's not going to happen.
Oh, thank god.
Yeah, he sent me here
to break up with you.
Why?
Well, you know, he...
He realized he missed pam
And decided they still
belonged together.
I thought he was over her.
Well, so did he until
somebody couldn't shut up
About how great she is
And all the, all the
fantastic things she's done.
Me?
Yes, you.
You made him fall in love
with her all over again.
Well, why didn't he come
here and tell me himself?
Uh... Well, the truth is,
Those phony phone calls
really freaked him out.
You know whose fault
this is, don't you?
It's yours.
You should have never
set us up to begin with.
What?!
Yeah, and when you saw
how obsessed I was,
You didn't even
try to stop me.
I did, too.
Well, you didn't
try hard enough.
Oh, yeah, right.
It's all my fault--
yeah, of course.
Yeah, maybe I should
have a rule about
How I shouldn't get involved
in other people's lives!
Oh, becker, why do these
things never work out for me?
Why? Look on the bright side
here, you know.
Maybe the next guy you meet
Will care enough to break up
with you in person.
I'm sorry. You know,
I'm not good at this.
I never know what to say.
Really? 'cause if
you think about it,
All you had
to say was:
¶ doe-doe-doe-doe-doe
¶ good night, sweetheart
¶ well, it's time to go
Where did you get that?
¶ doe-doe-doe-doe-doe
¶ good night, sweetheart
¶ well, it's time to go
I was trying to fit in.
I didn't have any friends,
all right?
¶ we hate to leave you,
but we really must say... ¶
My mother said
I had a great voice.
¶ good night, sweetheart,
good night. ¶