Becker (1998–2004): Season 2, Episode 20 - One Angry Man - full transcript
John fumes twice-once when he can't get out of the jury duty pool, and once when he isn't called to serve. Jake gets a dog.
( upbeat blues theme playing )
Dr. Becker, I really
need your help.
Well, first step
is admitting it.
I got a summons
for jury duty.
I can't do that.
What happens if I get
on one of
those big trials?
I could be away
from the office
for months and months
and months.
Dr. Becker?
Margaret?
Hm? What?
Oh. What, what?
Jury duty?
Oh. Oh, right, yeah.
Oh, I've been getting
out of jury duty for 20 years.
I write a letter telling them
I'm a health care professional,
that I can't be away
from the office.
Throw in a dying
patient or two,
and they get off my back.
But what should
I do?
We don't have
any dying patients.
Linda...we're all dying.
Like me, now,
listening to you.
Uh, write a letter.
I don't know.
Handle it, will you?
Okay.
John, you know
serving on a jury
is a civic
responsibility.
It's the price you pay
for living in a democracy.
No, Margaret. The price you pay
for living in a democracy is
that morons can vote,
say anything they want
and procreate at will.
And you're not fooling
anyone with that, you know,
"civic responsibility"
crap.
You just want her
out of your hair
for a couple of weeks.
She said "months."
( mouthing words )
( slow blues theme playing )
Will you look at this?
I got jury duty.
And this is not
the regular form.
This is a registered
letter.
I mean, they nailed me.
They got me too.
That letter idea of yours
didn't work at all.
And even after I said they'd
been letting my boss out of it
for 20 years because
he made up some dying patients.
You-- You said that?
Well, it's not like
I used your name or anything.
You used my office
stationery.
Oops.
Well, you know, why don't
you just tell 'em
I cheat on my taxes?
You cheat on your taxes?
No.
What a mess. Now we're gonna
have to shut the office down,
you know, reschedule
patients.
Interesting.
You told her how to get out
and got yourself in.
I should check my Bible.
I'm not sure if this
comes under, "do unto others,"
"wages of sin,"
or "jawbone of an ass."
Yeah.
Put the Bible down,
nobody gets hurt.
Look, we start
the same day.
Maybe we'll both be involved
in a big murder case.
Oh, I think there's
a real good chance of that.
( slow blues theme playing )
( upbeat blues theme playing )
( people chattering )
Oh, my God.
Hi. Look, there's been
a mistake.
I really should be
let out of this.
Sign in, sit down, and wait
for your name to be called.
No, you don't
understand.
I-- I can't be away
from my office.
I'm a doctor.
Oh, you're a doctor.
( chuckles )
Sign in, sit down, and wait
for your name to be called.
Listen to me.
Jury duty is for...
For them, not me.
You think you're better
than those people?
Don't you?
All right, fine.
I know, I know.
Sign in, sit down, and wait
for your name to be called.
Excuse me.
New fish, right?
What?
It's your first day.
Oh. Yeah.
Leo...Arnold.
Oh.
It's okay.
John Becker.
Hey, don't look
so miserable.
This city's great if you know
how to play the system.
Yeah.
I mean, they pay us
40 a day, right?
Forty dollars?
Really?
And that's
just a start.
You see, uh, while
we're sitting here,
I'm not just
sitting here.
Okay. Where are you?
Across town
collecting welfare
under the name
Maria Lopez.
I'm also down
at Unemployment
as Tom Pappas...
and his brother, Nick.
I love New York.
Oh, Dr. Becker,
there you are.
Oh. This just gets
better and better.
I can't believe I'm
getting paid to sit around,
eat candy
and do nothing.
I'd think you'd
be used to it.
Yeah, but
the interesting people
I meet here don't
sneeze on me.
Lin-- Interesting
people? Where?
Right here.
Claire's been married
eight times.
Bill has
six toes.
And Rudy over there is
lactose intolerant.
How do you know all this?
I've been here
ten minutes.
Oh, and there's
a woman over there
who can blow spit bubbles
out her nose.
Oh, Linda, come on.
You know--
Good heavens,
look at that.
Jury selection
for Courtroom B,
step to the front when
your name is called.
Mark Altobelli,
Barbara Farkashevsky,
Sidney Maltz.
Any of those you?
Not today.
Oh, and-- And Linda.
You're in this group.
Thanks, Herb.
Herb's gay, and his wife
doesn't know it.
Well, here goes.
I can't believe
that somebody's life
could hang in the balance
while I make up my mind.
Ha-ha. What a goof.
( slow blues theme playing )
Morning, Reggie.
Coffee, please.
Margaret. It's 10:30.
No work today?
With John and Linda
on jury duty,
I am getting my work
finished in record time.
Without patients
and doctors,
a medical office
runs like clockwork.
Yeah, Becker hasn't been
in here all week either.
( relaxed sigh )
Greetings,
everyone.
Well, that didn't last long.
( Margaret laughs )
So I see the loser's club
has a new member.
I'm just taking
a break from work.
You do remember work,
don't you, Bob?
Ooh.
Well, as the French
say, I surrender.
Reg...coffee, please.
Just put it
on Bob's tab.
Don't you mean
Linda's tab?
Her money, my money.
What difference?
It all comes from
the same place.
Bob, when are you gonna get
tired of sponging off Linda?
Sponging off Linda.
What a lovely thought.
Mmm.
Reggie. Has anyone
ever told you
that your coffee
tastes a little bitter?
Bitter? No.
Heh.
Well, I thought
you might
try adding
a little chicory.
It-- It gives coffee
a nice flavor.
Chicory, huh?
Well, maybe I'll give
that a try. Thanks.
You know they sell chicory
at the market across the street.
You could go
get some now.
I'm a little busy
right now.
You might
actually be busy
if you put a little
chicory in your coffee.
You know, Margaret,
I do believe the place
down the block
puts a little chicory
in their coffee.
( loud honking,
tires screeching )
MAN:
What the hell are you doing?!
You could have killed me!
REGGIE:
That's Jake.
JAKE:
What are you, blind?!
( truck drives off )
What happened?
Some truck
almost hit me.
Are you hurt? Do--
Do you need anything?
Oh, Margaret, no. I'm a little
shaken up, but I'm okay.
I mean, I'm just trying to
walk across the damn street.
Well, let me get you
a glass of water.
You know, specs, that was
a close call.
Maybe it's time you found
another way to get around.
Good idea, Bob.
I'll buy a car.
Bob was talking
about you
getting
a Seeing Eye dog.
Oh, no, I don't
want a damn dog.
I've been getting along fine
without one for ten years.
My cane works just fine.
You mean, that white stick
with the tire tracks across it?
Come on, let Bob
get you a dog. I know a guy.
Yeah, that's exactly
what Jake needs:
a dog that just
fell off a truck.
No, not like that
at all.
Although if anyone
needs a bread maker,
I know another guy.
The dog I'm talking about
belonged to my mom's boyfriend
over at the home:
old man Czerny.
He died last week.
Thanks anyway, Bob.
I don't want a dog.
Well, maybe you should
think about it.
You-- You were almost
killed out there.
I'll stick with
my cane.
I don't want to walk
down the street with a dog
and have people say,
"Oh, here comes that blind guy."
And what do you think
they say now:
"Here comes Tiger Woods
and his nine iron?"
( slow blues theme playing )
Well, that's that.
I walked in,
lawyer asked me what
I did for a living,
I told him
I was a doctor,
and they said
I was excused.
Leo, Maria--
whatever your name is
--nice knowing you.
Whoa, whoa,
whoa.
That's not how it works.
You were excused,
not dismissed.
What's the difference?
Look, if you get
on a case,
chances are you're
outta here in a few days.
But if you don't,
you're stuck sitting here
for two whole weeks.
Then I wanna
get on a case.
Well, then you shouldn't have
told 'em you were a doctor.
Well, unlike you,
I only have one identity.
Look, your problem is
you let 'em know you were smart.
That was stupid.
What am I supposed to do?
Go in there
and pretend
I'm stupid?
That would be smart.
You mean I gotta sit
in this room for two weeks
'cause they don't want
people who are educated,
informed, intelligent?
You know, who do they want?
Guess what?
I got on a jury.
Well, there's
my answer.
And guess what else?
The other jurors
elected me chief.
Foreman?
No. Five men
and seven women.
( upbeat blues theme playing )
Mmm. Mm.
I can't remember. Did I
mention anything to you
about putting chicory
in your coffee?
Only every single day
for over a week.
Well, I wasn't sure
that you heard me.
Look, Margaret, I don't want
to put chicory in the coffee.
People seem to like it
just the way it is.
Oh, most people are just
too nice to say anything.
Yes. Most people are.
Jake, you settle this.
Reggie's coffee is
too bitter, right?
It is not.
Jake, tell her
my coffee is fine.
I'd be glad to give
you ladies my opinion.
If I was the stupidest man
on Earth.
( slow blues theme playing )
( soap opera theme
playing on television )
Hey, can we please
turn that down?
I'm trying to
read a book.
What?
A book.
You know, cartoons
without the pictures.
Shh. About to tell
who kidnapped Shannon.
So put a lid
on it, Gumby.
Oh, gee, Dr. Becker.
You're still here.
Yes, Linda. I still haven't
been picked for a jury.
Oh, well, don't
take it personally.
It doesn't mean
you're not special.
You're just special
in a different way.
Thanks for the pep talk.
You should feel lucky.
You get to relax
and watch the soaps.
Since I haven't been
at work,
I never get to
watch them.
We don't have
a TV at work.
Oh, right. We don't have
a TV in the storeroom.
What was I
thinking?
So if you'll
excuse me,
as the leader of
my jury,
I have to select
today's lunch.
I'm thinking Chinese.
After all, the murderer
is Chinese.
Sorry, sorry.
"Allegedly" Chinese.
Armand Bogdassarian,
Marge Kendall,
Charlotte Morgan...
Simon Borkman...
John Becker.
Hey. That's you.
Or is that me?
No. No, that's you.
Go ahead. Good luck.
I don't need luck. I'm
gonna get on this jury
by being exactly
who I am.
I'm an educated,
well-read,
intelligent
individual.
MAN:
Dr. Becker, I'm going to
ask you the same question
we ask all prospective
jurors.
Do you feel you can be fair
and impartial in this case?
Absolutely.
As a matter of fact,
I'm currently
reading a book
by a noted law professor
on ethics and the law.
MAN:
Excused.
( slow blues theme playing )
WOMAN:
So do you feel you can
be fair and impartial?
Actually, I'm-- I'm reading
a book on legal ethics.
WOMAN:
Excused.
MAN 2:
So you'd have no problem
being impartial?
I'm reading a book--
MAN 2:
Excused.
I can't even say "book"?
Hello, everybody.
Let me introduce you
to Rocky.
Oh. He's gorgeous.
Ha-ha.
What a sweetheart.
What a coat. Oh.
Please, God,
let Rocky be a dog.
Now I know you said
you didn't want a guide dog,
but I figured what could
it hurt to give him a try.
Hey, listen, I don't
want a damn dog.
( laughing ):
Hi there, fella.
Okay, now what if
I did want a dog, now?
Wha-- What's the catch?
No catch. Can't a guy
help another guy
just to get a good feeling
from doing something nice?
No, really,
I'm asking.
Ah, what the hell.
Guess it couldn't hurt
to take him out for a spin.
Uh, Jake, I think
you need a lot
of training to have
a guide dog.
Between the two of them,
they got six legs and two eyes.
Let them
work it out.
Well...if anyone asks,
I'll be having
a cup of coffee
down the block.
Hey. I serve coffee.
Oh, yeah. Heh.
I'll be back.
Well, here's an idea.
Why don't you put
some chicory in your--
Margaret. Here's
an idea for you.
Get off my back.
Well, forgive me for trying to
help you improve your business.
My business
is fine.
Ha!
What business?
Do I actually have to put
chicory in the coffee
to get you
to shut up?
One scoop in each pot.
You just don't
give up, do you?
You know, if you two would
continue this fight
in a vat of
creamed corn,
Bob would never
have to go back
to a certain club
in Queens again.
( slow blues theme playing )
( soap opera theme playing
on television )
So like I was saying,
on Friday night,
I tell my son-in-law,
you can't find a job if you
don't look for a job. Frankly--
Shh.
Some of us are
trying to find out
if Donna's really dead.
John Becker.
This won't take long.
Tell me what happens,
will you?
MAN:
This case involves
a same-sex relationship.
Do you have any feelings
about that?
( sighs )
Well, it's not as taboo
as it once was.
I mean, just now on
The Young and the Restless,
Clay and Brett had a very nice
commitment ceremony.
MAN:
We accept this juror.
What? Really?
I'm accepted?
Oh. Oh, that's great.
Uh, just give me
a second here.
Let me go grab my, uh--
My coat and my book.
MAN:
Excused.
Oh, damn,
the book! Sh--
Shoot!
( slow blues theme playing )
( people chattering )
What's going on? There's
actually people in here.
They're here
for the coffee.
Yeah-- No, really.
It's true. Word spread
about how good it is.
Wait a minute.
Your coffee?
Yeah.
And why is that?
It's smoother
and more flavorful.
And why is that?
Because...
I added chicory.
And whose suggestion was that?
You're like a pit bull
with this thing.
You won't let it go.
All right, it--
It was all your idea.
You get all the credit.
Are you happy?
Now I am.
( door opens )
So, Jake, how'd it go
with the dog?
Oh, Bob, you were right.
This dog is amazing.
Sit. Sit.
Huh? I mean,
he stops at corners,
he opens doors.
A-- Already knows
the whole neighborhood.
So you really like him, huh?
Oh, I love him.
But I gotta
give him back.
I don't get it. You just
said he was terrific.
Why would you want
to give him--
Whoa!
Oh, my Lord!
What is that?
Hey, that wasn't me.
That's Rocky.
And he's just warming up.
( groans )
( people groaning )
That's horrible.
Yeah, and this is
a big room.
Try being alone
with him
in my tiny
little apartment.
He slept on the bed.
I slept on the fire escape.
Woo-woo-woo.
REGGIE:
Maybe you should
take him to a vet.
Oh, yeah, that is definitely
a medical condition.
I suppose I could
take him to the vet.
I mean, after all,
he is so smart,
he is so sweet,
and-- Oh, my God.
Oh, man!
Oh!
A-- All right, Bob.
Take the dog, take the dog.
Oh, man.
Bob understands.
He also understands
what killed old man Czerny.
I'll take him back to
his family. They live in Jersey.
They'll never know
the difference.
Come on. Come on,
baby.
Wait, wait, wait.
Wait a minute. Hey.
Hey, goodbye.
Goodbye, old fella.
I mean, it's not
your fault that--
BOTH:
Oh.
All right, get him out.
Get him out.
Man. Ugh.
BOB:
Rocky, no. Not again.
Hey, this door's
stuck.
Rocky! Cut it out! Hey!
Oh, Reggie!
Rocky! Reggie!
Reggie! Cut it out!
Reggie!
( blues theme playing )
No, no, no. You couldn't
be more wrong.
Your entire thesis is
built on a foundation
that's shaky at best.
It's a simple matter
of quid pro quo.
You are way off base
here, Becker.
Oh, look. If Clay put
Jocelyn through college,
at least
she should agree
to have his
and Brett's baby.
Oh, you know--
MAN ( on P.A. ):
William Miller.
Letisha Sanders.
Raji Sanjayarwati.
That "arwa-tee."
"Arwa-tee."
John Becker.
Oh.
( sighs )
What courtroom is it
this time, Herb?
A or B?
Neither. You're dismissed.
Oh. What, they're rejecting me
now before I even go in?
Not "excused."
"Dismissed."
Oh. Really?
I-I-- I can go home?
Haven't you had enough?
Well...okay.
I get-- You know something?
It's-- It's really not okay.
Do you realize that I spent
two weeks doing
absolutely nothing?
And the city thanks you
for your service.
My service? Yeah,
can you explain to me
how my sitting on my butt
for two weeks
doing absolutely nothing
is a service to anyone?
You know, no wonder
the courts are so screwed up.
You know, they have
no use for anyone
with a brain
or an education.
And forget it if you actually
make the mistake
of admitting that
you've read a book.
There, I said it!
I read books!
Place is
like a prison.
No, you know--
( scoffs )
That's not true. You know,
prison's a lot better.
At least they have
books, you know, and--
And weights and Ping-Pong.
Better yet,
they have sex.
Once again, the city
thanks you--
Yeah, yeah.
Forget it, Herb.
You know? I'm outta here.
But before I go, let me
just say something.
You know, your system
may have bent me,
but it did not
break me.
'Cause I'm going out
into a world that--
That wants my talents.
That values my intelligence,
instead of punishing me
for it.
'Cause out there I can
make a difference.
( soap opera theme playing
on television )
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
It's starting.
Oh.
See? See, I told--
Didn't I tell you?
Jocelyn's
pregnant.
This is great.
( slow blues theme playing )
( upbeat blues theme playing )
Dr. Becker, I really
need your help.
Well, first step
is admitting it.
I got a summons
for jury duty.
I can't do that.
What happens if I get
on one of
those big trials?
I could be away
from the office
for months and months
and months.
Dr. Becker?
Margaret?
Hm? What?
Oh. What, what?
Jury duty?
Oh. Oh, right, yeah.
Oh, I've been getting
out of jury duty for 20 years.
I write a letter telling them
I'm a health care professional,
that I can't be away
from the office.
Throw in a dying
patient or two,
and they get off my back.
But what should
I do?
We don't have
any dying patients.
Linda...we're all dying.
Like me, now,
listening to you.
Uh, write a letter.
I don't know.
Handle it, will you?
Okay.
John, you know
serving on a jury
is a civic
responsibility.
It's the price you pay
for living in a democracy.
No, Margaret. The price you pay
for living in a democracy is
that morons can vote,
say anything they want
and procreate at will.
And you're not fooling
anyone with that, you know,
"civic responsibility"
crap.
You just want her
out of your hair
for a couple of weeks.
She said "months."
( mouthing words )
( slow blues theme playing )
Will you look at this?
I got jury duty.
And this is not
the regular form.
This is a registered
letter.
I mean, they nailed me.
They got me too.
That letter idea of yours
didn't work at all.
And even after I said they'd
been letting my boss out of it
for 20 years because
he made up some dying patients.
You-- You said that?
Well, it's not like
I used your name or anything.
You used my office
stationery.
Oops.
Well, you know, why don't
you just tell 'em
I cheat on my taxes?
You cheat on your taxes?
No.
What a mess. Now we're gonna
have to shut the office down,
you know, reschedule
patients.
Interesting.
You told her how to get out
and got yourself in.
I should check my Bible.
I'm not sure if this
comes under, "do unto others,"
"wages of sin,"
or "jawbone of an ass."
Yeah.
Put the Bible down,
nobody gets hurt.
Look, we start
the same day.
Maybe we'll both be involved
in a big murder case.
Oh, I think there's
a real good chance of that.
( slow blues theme playing )
( upbeat blues theme playing )
( people chattering )
Oh, my God.
Hi. Look, there's been
a mistake.
I really should be
let out of this.
Sign in, sit down, and wait
for your name to be called.
No, you don't
understand.
I-- I can't be away
from my office.
I'm a doctor.
Oh, you're a doctor.
( chuckles )
Sign in, sit down, and wait
for your name to be called.
Listen to me.
Jury duty is for...
For them, not me.
You think you're better
than those people?
Don't you?
All right, fine.
I know, I know.
Sign in, sit down, and wait
for your name to be called.
Excuse me.
New fish, right?
What?
It's your first day.
Oh. Yeah.
Leo...Arnold.
Oh.
It's okay.
John Becker.
Hey, don't look
so miserable.
This city's great if you know
how to play the system.
Yeah.
I mean, they pay us
40 a day, right?
Forty dollars?
Really?
And that's
just a start.
You see, uh, while
we're sitting here,
I'm not just
sitting here.
Okay. Where are you?
Across town
collecting welfare
under the name
Maria Lopez.
I'm also down
at Unemployment
as Tom Pappas...
and his brother, Nick.
I love New York.
Oh, Dr. Becker,
there you are.
Oh. This just gets
better and better.
I can't believe I'm
getting paid to sit around,
eat candy
and do nothing.
I'd think you'd
be used to it.
Yeah, but
the interesting people
I meet here don't
sneeze on me.
Lin-- Interesting
people? Where?
Right here.
Claire's been married
eight times.
Bill has
six toes.
And Rudy over there is
lactose intolerant.
How do you know all this?
I've been here
ten minutes.
Oh, and there's
a woman over there
who can blow spit bubbles
out her nose.
Oh, Linda, come on.
You know--
Good heavens,
look at that.
Jury selection
for Courtroom B,
step to the front when
your name is called.
Mark Altobelli,
Barbara Farkashevsky,
Sidney Maltz.
Any of those you?
Not today.
Oh, and-- And Linda.
You're in this group.
Thanks, Herb.
Herb's gay, and his wife
doesn't know it.
Well, here goes.
I can't believe
that somebody's life
could hang in the balance
while I make up my mind.
Ha-ha. What a goof.
( slow blues theme playing )
Morning, Reggie.
Coffee, please.
Margaret. It's 10:30.
No work today?
With John and Linda
on jury duty,
I am getting my work
finished in record time.
Without patients
and doctors,
a medical office
runs like clockwork.
Yeah, Becker hasn't been
in here all week either.
( relaxed sigh )
Greetings,
everyone.
Well, that didn't last long.
( Margaret laughs )
So I see the loser's club
has a new member.
I'm just taking
a break from work.
You do remember work,
don't you, Bob?
Ooh.
Well, as the French
say, I surrender.
Reg...coffee, please.
Just put it
on Bob's tab.
Don't you mean
Linda's tab?
Her money, my money.
What difference?
It all comes from
the same place.
Bob, when are you gonna get
tired of sponging off Linda?
Sponging off Linda.
What a lovely thought.
Mmm.
Reggie. Has anyone
ever told you
that your coffee
tastes a little bitter?
Bitter? No.
Heh.
Well, I thought
you might
try adding
a little chicory.
It-- It gives coffee
a nice flavor.
Chicory, huh?
Well, maybe I'll give
that a try. Thanks.
You know they sell chicory
at the market across the street.
You could go
get some now.
I'm a little busy
right now.
You might
actually be busy
if you put a little
chicory in your coffee.
You know, Margaret,
I do believe the place
down the block
puts a little chicory
in their coffee.
( loud honking,
tires screeching )
MAN:
What the hell are you doing?!
You could have killed me!
REGGIE:
That's Jake.
JAKE:
What are you, blind?!
( truck drives off )
What happened?
Some truck
almost hit me.
Are you hurt? Do--
Do you need anything?
Oh, Margaret, no. I'm a little
shaken up, but I'm okay.
I mean, I'm just trying to
walk across the damn street.
Well, let me get you
a glass of water.
You know, specs, that was
a close call.
Maybe it's time you found
another way to get around.
Good idea, Bob.
I'll buy a car.
Bob was talking
about you
getting
a Seeing Eye dog.
Oh, no, I don't
want a damn dog.
I've been getting along fine
without one for ten years.
My cane works just fine.
You mean, that white stick
with the tire tracks across it?
Come on, let Bob
get you a dog. I know a guy.
Yeah, that's exactly
what Jake needs:
a dog that just
fell off a truck.
No, not like that
at all.
Although if anyone
needs a bread maker,
I know another guy.
The dog I'm talking about
belonged to my mom's boyfriend
over at the home:
old man Czerny.
He died last week.
Thanks anyway, Bob.
I don't want a dog.
Well, maybe you should
think about it.
You-- You were almost
killed out there.
I'll stick with
my cane.
I don't want to walk
down the street with a dog
and have people say,
"Oh, here comes that blind guy."
And what do you think
they say now:
"Here comes Tiger Woods
and his nine iron?"
( slow blues theme playing )
Well, that's that.
I walked in,
lawyer asked me what
I did for a living,
I told him
I was a doctor,
and they said
I was excused.
Leo, Maria--
whatever your name is
--nice knowing you.
Whoa, whoa,
whoa.
That's not how it works.
You were excused,
not dismissed.
What's the difference?
Look, if you get
on a case,
chances are you're
outta here in a few days.
But if you don't,
you're stuck sitting here
for two whole weeks.
Then I wanna
get on a case.
Well, then you shouldn't have
told 'em you were a doctor.
Well, unlike you,
I only have one identity.
Look, your problem is
you let 'em know you were smart.
That was stupid.
What am I supposed to do?
Go in there
and pretend
I'm stupid?
That would be smart.
You mean I gotta sit
in this room for two weeks
'cause they don't want
people who are educated,
informed, intelligent?
You know, who do they want?
Guess what?
I got on a jury.
Well, there's
my answer.
And guess what else?
The other jurors
elected me chief.
Foreman?
No. Five men
and seven women.
( upbeat blues theme playing )
Mmm. Mm.
I can't remember. Did I
mention anything to you
about putting chicory
in your coffee?
Only every single day
for over a week.
Well, I wasn't sure
that you heard me.
Look, Margaret, I don't want
to put chicory in the coffee.
People seem to like it
just the way it is.
Oh, most people are just
too nice to say anything.
Yes. Most people are.
Jake, you settle this.
Reggie's coffee is
too bitter, right?
It is not.
Jake, tell her
my coffee is fine.
I'd be glad to give
you ladies my opinion.
If I was the stupidest man
on Earth.
( slow blues theme playing )
( soap opera theme
playing on television )
Hey, can we please
turn that down?
I'm trying to
read a book.
What?
A book.
You know, cartoons
without the pictures.
Shh. About to tell
who kidnapped Shannon.
So put a lid
on it, Gumby.
Oh, gee, Dr. Becker.
You're still here.
Yes, Linda. I still haven't
been picked for a jury.
Oh, well, don't
take it personally.
It doesn't mean
you're not special.
You're just special
in a different way.
Thanks for the pep talk.
You should feel lucky.
You get to relax
and watch the soaps.
Since I haven't been
at work,
I never get to
watch them.
We don't have
a TV at work.
Oh, right. We don't have
a TV in the storeroom.
What was I
thinking?
So if you'll
excuse me,
as the leader of
my jury,
I have to select
today's lunch.
I'm thinking Chinese.
After all, the murderer
is Chinese.
Sorry, sorry.
"Allegedly" Chinese.
Armand Bogdassarian,
Marge Kendall,
Charlotte Morgan...
Simon Borkman...
John Becker.
Hey. That's you.
Or is that me?
No. No, that's you.
Go ahead. Good luck.
I don't need luck. I'm
gonna get on this jury
by being exactly
who I am.
I'm an educated,
well-read,
intelligent
individual.
MAN:
Dr. Becker, I'm going to
ask you the same question
we ask all prospective
jurors.
Do you feel you can be fair
and impartial in this case?
Absolutely.
As a matter of fact,
I'm currently
reading a book
by a noted law professor
on ethics and the law.
MAN:
Excused.
( slow blues theme playing )
WOMAN:
So do you feel you can
be fair and impartial?
Actually, I'm-- I'm reading
a book on legal ethics.
WOMAN:
Excused.
MAN 2:
So you'd have no problem
being impartial?
I'm reading a book--
MAN 2:
Excused.
I can't even say "book"?
Hello, everybody.
Let me introduce you
to Rocky.
Oh. He's gorgeous.
Ha-ha.
What a sweetheart.
What a coat. Oh.
Please, God,
let Rocky be a dog.
Now I know you said
you didn't want a guide dog,
but I figured what could
it hurt to give him a try.
Hey, listen, I don't
want a damn dog.
( laughing ):
Hi there, fella.
Okay, now what if
I did want a dog, now?
Wha-- What's the catch?
No catch. Can't a guy
help another guy
just to get a good feeling
from doing something nice?
No, really,
I'm asking.
Ah, what the hell.
Guess it couldn't hurt
to take him out for a spin.
Uh, Jake, I think
you need a lot
of training to have
a guide dog.
Between the two of them,
they got six legs and two eyes.
Let them
work it out.
Well...if anyone asks,
I'll be having
a cup of coffee
down the block.
Hey. I serve coffee.
Oh, yeah. Heh.
I'll be back.
Well, here's an idea.
Why don't you put
some chicory in your--
Margaret. Here's
an idea for you.
Get off my back.
Well, forgive me for trying to
help you improve your business.
My business
is fine.
Ha!
What business?
Do I actually have to put
chicory in the coffee
to get you
to shut up?
One scoop in each pot.
You just don't
give up, do you?
You know, if you two would
continue this fight
in a vat of
creamed corn,
Bob would never
have to go back
to a certain club
in Queens again.
( slow blues theme playing )
( soap opera theme playing
on television )
So like I was saying,
on Friday night,
I tell my son-in-law,
you can't find a job if you
don't look for a job. Frankly--
Shh.
Some of us are
trying to find out
if Donna's really dead.
John Becker.
This won't take long.
Tell me what happens,
will you?
MAN:
This case involves
a same-sex relationship.
Do you have any feelings
about that?
( sighs )
Well, it's not as taboo
as it once was.
I mean, just now on
The Young and the Restless,
Clay and Brett had a very nice
commitment ceremony.
MAN:
We accept this juror.
What? Really?
I'm accepted?
Oh. Oh, that's great.
Uh, just give me
a second here.
Let me go grab my, uh--
My coat and my book.
MAN:
Excused.
Oh, damn,
the book! Sh--
Shoot!
( slow blues theme playing )
( people chattering )
What's going on? There's
actually people in here.
They're here
for the coffee.
Yeah-- No, really.
It's true. Word spread
about how good it is.
Wait a minute.
Your coffee?
Yeah.
And why is that?
It's smoother
and more flavorful.
And why is that?
Because...
I added chicory.
And whose suggestion was that?
You're like a pit bull
with this thing.
You won't let it go.
All right, it--
It was all your idea.
You get all the credit.
Are you happy?
Now I am.
( door opens )
So, Jake, how'd it go
with the dog?
Oh, Bob, you were right.
This dog is amazing.
Sit. Sit.
Huh? I mean,
he stops at corners,
he opens doors.
A-- Already knows
the whole neighborhood.
So you really like him, huh?
Oh, I love him.
But I gotta
give him back.
I don't get it. You just
said he was terrific.
Why would you want
to give him--
Whoa!
Oh, my Lord!
What is that?
Hey, that wasn't me.
That's Rocky.
And he's just warming up.
( groans )
( people groaning )
That's horrible.
Yeah, and this is
a big room.
Try being alone
with him
in my tiny
little apartment.
He slept on the bed.
I slept on the fire escape.
Woo-woo-woo.
REGGIE:
Maybe you should
take him to a vet.
Oh, yeah, that is definitely
a medical condition.
I suppose I could
take him to the vet.
I mean, after all,
he is so smart,
he is so sweet,
and-- Oh, my God.
Oh, man!
Oh!
A-- All right, Bob.
Take the dog, take the dog.
Oh, man.
Bob understands.
He also understands
what killed old man Czerny.
I'll take him back to
his family. They live in Jersey.
They'll never know
the difference.
Come on. Come on,
baby.
Wait, wait, wait.
Wait a minute. Hey.
Hey, goodbye.
Goodbye, old fella.
I mean, it's not
your fault that--
BOTH:
Oh.
All right, get him out.
Get him out.
Man. Ugh.
BOB:
Rocky, no. Not again.
Hey, this door's
stuck.
Rocky! Cut it out! Hey!
Oh, Reggie!
Rocky! Reggie!
Reggie! Cut it out!
Reggie!
( blues theme playing )
No, no, no. You couldn't
be more wrong.
Your entire thesis is
built on a foundation
that's shaky at best.
It's a simple matter
of quid pro quo.
You are way off base
here, Becker.
Oh, look. If Clay put
Jocelyn through college,
at least
she should agree
to have his
and Brett's baby.
Oh, you know--
MAN ( on P.A. ):
William Miller.
Letisha Sanders.
Raji Sanjayarwati.
That "arwa-tee."
"Arwa-tee."
John Becker.
Oh.
( sighs )
What courtroom is it
this time, Herb?
A or B?
Neither. You're dismissed.
Oh. What, they're rejecting me
now before I even go in?
Not "excused."
"Dismissed."
Oh. Really?
I-I-- I can go home?
Haven't you had enough?
Well...okay.
I get-- You know something?
It's-- It's really not okay.
Do you realize that I spent
two weeks doing
absolutely nothing?
And the city thanks you
for your service.
My service? Yeah,
can you explain to me
how my sitting on my butt
for two weeks
doing absolutely nothing
is a service to anyone?
You know, no wonder
the courts are so screwed up.
You know, they have
no use for anyone
with a brain
or an education.
And forget it if you actually
make the mistake
of admitting that
you've read a book.
There, I said it!
I read books!
Place is
like a prison.
No, you know--
( scoffs )
That's not true. You know,
prison's a lot better.
At least they have
books, you know, and--
And weights and Ping-Pong.
Better yet,
they have sex.
Once again, the city
thanks you--
Yeah, yeah.
Forget it, Herb.
You know? I'm outta here.
But before I go, let me
just say something.
You know, your system
may have bent me,
but it did not
break me.
'Cause I'm going out
into a world that--
That wants my talents.
That values my intelligence,
instead of punishing me
for it.
'Cause out there I can
make a difference.
( soap opera theme playing
on television )
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
It's starting.
Oh.
See? See, I told--
Didn't I tell you?
Jocelyn's
pregnant.
This is great.
( slow blues theme playing )
( upbeat blues theme playing )