Beavis and Butt-Head (1993–2011): Season 2, Episode 2 - Heroes - full transcript
During a skeet shoot, Butt-Head takes down an airplane.
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---
GOOD CREDIT
"All of them had hair of gold
like their mother".
The youngest one liked girls!
"Here's the story, of
a man named Brady".
"Who was busy with three
boys of his own".
"They were four men,
living all together".
But they didn't sleep alone!
Hey, Butt-head,
look what I found yesterday.
- Wow, where did you find it?
- Anderson's house.
- Let's burn it.
- No way, chode smoker!
We can buy stuff
with these things.
You, like, go to the Olympics
and buy mountain bikes and cars and stuff.
Could you buy BB guns?
- I think so.
- We're there dude.
"...the Brady..."
Ooh, oh! That's the good thing
about them 'possum innards.
Still good the next day.
Look at this.
- What a bunch of crap.
- Yeah.
These guys played at the
state fair last year.
Yeah. Remember? Right
before the pig races.
Yeah. Remember that one with
that big nads come laid down.
- Yeah, you mean the bass player?
- No, Beavis, I'm talking about the pigs.
Oh, sorry.
- You were pretty funny Beavis.
- Yeah.
I heard these girls bang elves.
- Hey, Beavis, would you bangle her?
- Yeah.
- Why does she keep looking up?
- Yeah, look over here.
I think, these are the kind of
girls that won't talk to us.
Yeah, these are
bunch of rich chicks.
Yeah, they are
afraid of our love.
Let's buy some animals.
Yeah, that would be cool.
Credit cards are cool.
Well, I assure
I'm looking forward to this.
All the old boys are
gonna here this year.
Dick, Peter, Rod, Johnson...
I have even heard a rumour that old
John Thomas might show up this time.
Where is his butt?
Excuse me, can I help you
boys with something?
Yeah,
I wanna buy this thing.
This "thing" sells for 2400$.
Now, why don't you boys just...
I'll take 2 of them, then.
Look, if you don't want
me call the security than...
Oh, I see.
Well, would you like
anything else today?
Yeah, we want some dogs.
Okay. Well, we have
this wonderful golden retriever here.
He is 100% pure purebred and pedigree.
He comes from a long
line of world winning retrievers,
and makes an excellent hunting dog.
I can show you his papers if you....
- Look he's got a boner.
- We'll take him.
Okay. Will there be
anything else today?
Yeah, cats.
Tell me you don't got us room
on the first floorclose to the bar.
and you ain't got a tangle.
I think we can accommodate you sir.
Cash or charge?
I believe I'll use the old plastic.
You sell any dead animals?
No. Well, actually I take that back.
We do have a couple of
chinchillas in the back,
that didn't quite make
it though shipping.
I'm sure we can
cut you a real good deal.
Cool.
Dammit!
Dammit!
Where the hell is my credit card?
Dammit!!
I'm gonna miss the opening ceremonies.
Hey! These dogs are homosexuals.
Okay, that comes to 6275$, sir.
And how would
you like to pay for this?
With this thing.
Dammit! Dammit, where the hell is it?
We don't even have enough cash
to get home!
Say, honey, weren't you used
that to get into the toolshed,
after those boys locked you out?
Sir, I gonna have
to ask you leave.
Well, don't worry, dear.
It's always next year.
Welcome to the credit world dude.
That was cool,
that was cool.
Wow! That's cool.
- Fire is cool.
- Yeah, fire is cool.
- Cool! It's dead.
- It's flat.
Dead animals are cool.
This is that guy with
all those last names.
Hey, Butt-Head, how many
last names do you have?
Just one, dude.
Head.
That was cool.
This guy really does suck.
And he's white.
- What a whyner
- Yeah, this guy is always complaining.
I guess I would complain
too if I sucked.
- Yeah, how come your all complains?
- Shut up, bunghole.
- Hey, Beavis, what is that say?
- That's, uh... uh...
Pop... pop tards.
I like the strawberry ones.
Those are cool.
No, little girl, the money you are giving,
the 100$ are,
coming from the giving
campaign at dad stats!
But, daddy, by sending in...
Just 25$ a month.
You can feed and clothe and
educate an entire family.
Why don't those people
just get credit cards?
Then they can eat
all they wanted.
- Maybe, they are stupid.
- Yeah.
Hey, what we gonna
do with all these animals?
Let's take them to the
Anderson's house.
Yeah, it's a least we could do.
- Keep the birds, though.
- Yeah.
These birds are cool.
That was cool.
Polly want an alka-seltzer?
- That dude looks pissed.
- Yeah.
Yes!
"Soundgarden" kicks-ass.
These guys are cool.
Hey, Butt-Head, check this out.
I could sing just like this guy.
I'm gonna break my...
I'm gonna break my rusty cage.
That was pretty cool Beavis.
Is that old dude with a pitchfork?
Yeah, that would be cool
if you, like, tripped.
And that pitchfork
would ride in a stomach.
Settle down, Beavis,
you gonna soil your drawers.
---
GOOD CREDIT
"All of them had hair of gold
like their mother".
The youngest one liked girls!
"Here's the story, of
a man named Brady".
"Who was busy with three
boys of his own".
"They were four men,
living all together".
But they didn't sleep alone!
Hey, Butt-head,
look what I found yesterday.
- Wow, where did you find it?
- Anderson's house.
- Let's burn it.
- No way, chode smoker!
We can buy stuff
with these things.
You, like, go to the Olympics
and buy mountain bikes and cars and stuff.
Could you buy BB guns?
- I think so.
- We're there dude.
"...the Brady..."
Ooh, oh! That's the good thing
about them 'possum innards.
Still good the next day.
Look at this.
- What a bunch of crap.
- Yeah.
These guys played at the
state fair last year.
Yeah. Remember? Right
before the pig races.
Yeah. Remember that one with
that big nads come laid down.
- Yeah, you mean the bass player?
- No, Beavis, I'm talking about the pigs.
Oh, sorry.
- You were pretty funny Beavis.
- Yeah.
I heard these girls bang elves.
- Hey, Beavis, would you bangle her?
- Yeah.
- Why does she keep looking up?
- Yeah, look over here.
I think, these are the kind of
girls that won't talk to us.
Yeah, these are
bunch of rich chicks.
Yeah, they are
afraid of our love.
Let's buy some animals.
Yeah, that would be cool.
Credit cards are cool.
Well, I assure
I'm looking forward to this.
All the old boys are
gonna here this year.
Dick, Peter, Rod, Johnson...
I have even heard a rumour that old
John Thomas might show up this time.
Where is his butt?
Excuse me, can I help you
boys with something?
Yeah,
I wanna buy this thing.
This "thing" sells for 2400$.
Now, why don't you boys just...
I'll take 2 of them, then.
Look, if you don't want
me call the security than...
Oh, I see.
Well, would you like
anything else today?
Yeah, we want some dogs.
Okay. Well, we have
this wonderful golden retriever here.
He is 100% pure purebred and pedigree.
He comes from a long
line of world winning retrievers,
and makes an excellent hunting dog.
I can show you his papers if you....
- Look he's got a boner.
- We'll take him.
Okay. Will there be
anything else today?
Yeah, cats.
Tell me you don't got us room
on the first floorclose to the bar.
and you ain't got a tangle.
I think we can accommodate you sir.
Cash or charge?
I believe I'll use the old plastic.
You sell any dead animals?
No. Well, actually I take that back.
We do have a couple of
chinchillas in the back,
that didn't quite make
it though shipping.
I'm sure we can
cut you a real good deal.
Cool.
Dammit!
Dammit!
Where the hell is my credit card?
Dammit!!
I'm gonna miss the opening ceremonies.
Hey! These dogs are homosexuals.
Okay, that comes to 6275$, sir.
And how would
you like to pay for this?
With this thing.
Dammit! Dammit, where the hell is it?
We don't even have enough cash
to get home!
Say, honey, weren't you used
that to get into the toolshed,
after those boys locked you out?
Sir, I gonna have
to ask you leave.
Well, don't worry, dear.
It's always next year.
Welcome to the credit world dude.
That was cool,
that was cool.
Wow! That's cool.
- Fire is cool.
- Yeah, fire is cool.
- Cool! It's dead.
- It's flat.
Dead animals are cool.
This is that guy with
all those last names.
Hey, Butt-Head, how many
last names do you have?
Just one, dude.
Head.
That was cool.
This guy really does suck.
And he's white.
- What a whyner
- Yeah, this guy is always complaining.
I guess I would complain
too if I sucked.
- Yeah, how come your all complains?
- Shut up, bunghole.
- Hey, Beavis, what is that say?
- That's, uh... uh...
Pop... pop tards.
I like the strawberry ones.
Those are cool.
No, little girl, the money you are giving,
the 100$ are,
coming from the giving
campaign at dad stats!
But, daddy, by sending in...
Just 25$ a month.
You can feed and clothe and
educate an entire family.
Why don't those people
just get credit cards?
Then they can eat
all they wanted.
- Maybe, they are stupid.
- Yeah.
Hey, what we gonna
do with all these animals?
Let's take them to the
Anderson's house.
Yeah, it's a least we could do.
- Keep the birds, though.
- Yeah.
These birds are cool.
That was cool.
Polly want an alka-seltzer?
- That dude looks pissed.
- Yeah.
Yes!
"Soundgarden" kicks-ass.
These guys are cool.
Hey, Butt-Head, check this out.
I could sing just like this guy.
I'm gonna break my...
I'm gonna break my rusty cage.
That was pretty cool Beavis.
Is that old dude with a pitchfork?
Yeah, that would be cool
if you, like, tripped.
And that pitchfork
would ride in a stomach.
Settle down, Beavis,
you gonna soil your drawers.