Beavis and Butt-Head (1993–2011): Season 2, Episode 19 - At the Movies - full transcript

Beavis & Butt-Head are back at the drive-in movie theater, this time with plans of destruction and concession stand thievery.

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YOGURT'S
COOL

Nation's finest yogurt.

So smooth, so silky, so and tender.

You wish it could last forever.

But sooner or later
you lose control.

Wow I'm getting a boner.

I'm getting a stiffy.

If you don't love it,
your money back.

Nation's finest.

We're waiting for you to come.

At a scattered last mall and over
5000 of other locations,



in the greater track in the area.

Money back offer on
participating on the locations.

We need yoghurt.

Yeah, yogurt's cool.

Wow, it's hammer time!

"You can't touch this"

Can't touch this.

Touch this.

I can touch this.

I can't watch this.

Wow!

- This is stupid.
- Yeah.

And it sucks too.

Look at these special effects.



These special effects suck.

- You have to spit when you talk Beavis?
- Yeah.

I always try to hock
a loogie when I talk.

- You just spit in my eye, assmunch!
- Yeah! Yeah!

- Is this Pat Nebatar?
- Yeah.

She's that chick that had
sexual intercourse with Don Henley.

Yeah.

- "Goodbye to glue".
- Yeah.

"Goodbye to po-oooo!"

- "Goodbye to poo."
- Yeah.

Call now! For live
1 on 1 conversations.

Yeah.

Share you intimate thoughts.

1.95$ per minute.

Must be 18 or older.

Hey Beavis, if we had a 1.95$,

we could call and share our
intimate thoughts.

We could tell her that she sucks.

Is this chicks name is T'Pau?

Yeah.
That's spanish for "This sucks".

Hey Butt-Head, have you noticed how
this video, like, sucks.

Yeah.

The more things change,
the more they suck.

Stephanie Lou,
you got costumers!

Welcome to nation's finest we put the
"y" in yoghurt! Why?

Because this is good for you.
Can I help you?

I don't know, can you?

You boys want something or you just
looking to get thrown out of the place?

I want yoghurt.

Well, than give the little lady
hear your order and we'll all be happy.

- May I help you?
- We want yoghurt.

Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry,
banana, colada,

or one of our premium
boutique flavours?

Cone or cup?

Small, medium, large or inflation flyter

Natural or enhanced topping?
Syrup or sauce?

- We want what that the chick on TV had.
- Yeah.

Smooth and silky.

That would be cool.

3$

Tastes like puke!

This sucks!

- Something wrong here, boys?
- Yeah.

- It's your yogurt, sir.
- Yeah.

Something died in it.

Well, I'm real sorry to hear that.

Why you don't you two boys
go out and give it a decent bury,

before I'll break your heads together?

- We want our money back, assswipe!
- Yeah.

Like on the commercial.

You want your money back,
you're little peckerwoods?

That's a damn shame!

WE ARE NOT
A PARTICIPATING LOCATION

Sorry, boys, next time try a topping.

It drowns up the taste.
Now, shove off!

I said move it!

Taste like paint.

Cool!

- She rocks.
- Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah!

- She wants me.
- Yeah! Yeah!

Cool! I'm gonna get
some clothes like that.

Me too.
These guys get all the chicks.

Yeah.
This band is cool.

How come these
guys were never on TV?

- They should play this video all day long.
- Yeah.

Shut up Beavis, you ruining it!

Wow!

- "Herman Munster" is cool.
- Yeah.

He rocks.

...fill into the stupidest people, well...

No, no, you light
the cigarette first.

Than it takes a long time
and then it blows up.

- You boys..
- That's cool.

You guys like to blow up things up,
right?

Destruction that kind of thing?

- Yeah, that's cool.
- Yeah.

Okay, well, how would
we make you demolitions experts?

Engineering degree, College, no

Ah, here we go, the army.

Let's see...
Can you boys count to 4?

- Do you each have at least 7 teeth?
- Yeah.

Do either of you have
metal plates in your skull?

We're both metalheads.

- Why is he shutting his ears?
- Yeah.

He has an exciting

He said "this".

- Yeah, but you said "head".
- No, I didn't, bumwipe.

- Wow, these guys are cool.
- Yeah.

- This guy has a pretty good voice.
- Yeah, it's loud.

- That's pretty cool.
- Yeah.

- Hammers are cool.
- Yeah, yeah.

I like to take hammers and break stuff,

just break stuff.
Break it!

Settle down Beavis. Don't
wet your pants.

And when you're done breaking it
you smash it.

You can smash it!
Yeah! Yeah!

- Shut up Beavis, you slopping all over me.
- Yeah.

- What's he doing?
- Yeah.

- It's to damn fast.
- Yeah.

They need to slow this down
so we can see everything.

- Wow! Did you see that?
- Where?

That women had a hand
on her... virginia.

I don't see it!