Beaver Falls (2011–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Episode #1.1 - full transcript

British graduates Flynn,Barry and A-Rab fly out to work at the Beaver Falls summer camp in California,expecting a free holiday getting laid and wasted. Though Flynn gets seduced by cougar Pam,wife of the camp's owner,gauche Barry fails with the sweet Kimberley whilst depressed A-Rab is consoled by homely Rachel. The trio find they are expected to look after a quintet of geeks and misfits,including a voluntary mute who is a compulsive masturbator. Their charges despise them for lying about their qualifications but a truce is called after the Brits rescue the campers from being bullied by jocks led by Kimberley's boyfriend Jake.

Hello America.

You probably get this all the time
but still it's got to be said.

That uniform just pops on you.

Bored of hearing it yeah?

I just need you to fill out
the form please sir.

Want me to put my phone number too?

Falls! Yeah!

Just Barry? No last name?

Yeah. You know like Prince.

What was your original name?
David Fletcher.

But you wanted a bit of pizzazz
so you changed it to Barry?



It was my friends. They... they
changed it behind my back as a joke.

You need to get some new friends.

Do I look like a rose bush? Adil?

Do I?!

So why are you giving me this shit?

I told you I'm working
for the summer.

And what exactly
will you be doing at this camp?

- Coaching football.
- You play?

- What position?
- Centre half.

Son there's no such position
on a football field.

You want to start
rethinking this story?

What the fuck
are they doing to him in there?

I don't know. Rubber-gloving him?

Could work out well for us. They
might find that stick up his arse.



You all right mate?

Mother Fuckers!

Did they fiddle with your bottom?
Shall we get you a special cushion?

Yeah isn't racial
profiling hilarious?

Yeah you wait till they start
targeting the badly dressed.

You all right back there?
Never better.

Whoa. Where did you get that from?
I brought it with me.

Barry if you get caught with that...
It's just a bit of weed man. Relax.

I taped it under my deodorant.
It's out of order mate.

I mean if you got deodorant use it.

We're down with the beautiful
people now boys.

This is how the other half live.

Yeah? Well how rich are we talking?

Porno rich. Won't be one kid here
whose folks aren't millionaires.

Good work man good work!

So if this place is really all that
why are they employing us?

Cos I said to them on the phone

I said all we want is a chance
to rise above our humble origins

to be all we can be.

To be judged
not on the content of our wallets

but on the content of our characters.

To live the American dream.
You are so full of shit.

It beats stacking shelves down Asda.

Sync by Yvon :)
Episode 1x01

Ground rules gentlemen.

No alcohol. No drugs.
No sex. Curfew is 10pm.

Anyone caught fraternising with the
opposite sex after that big trouble.

These are young impressionable minds.

But one day soon these kids
will be running the world

and I want to make sure
right-thinking people are in charge.

Well amen to that.

I'm so glad you share my concerns.

You are on a working holiday
gentlemen

and that phrase the word "working"
comes before the word "holiday" yes?

But let's be clear.

Any one of you breaks my rules

and all three of you
will be on the first plane home.

Dismissed.

Man we could have
some parties in here.

Well not according to this.

I mean who are the beds for anyway?

The kids.

We get five kids to look after.
I told you that didn't I?

Whoa you didn't say
we were sleeping in with them.

Didn't I? Where did you think
we were going to be?

Well I don't know. In a room on our
own. A bit of privacy.

So if we're working all day

and then looking after the kids
the rest of the time

at what exact point

are we supposed to have this
awesome summer you sold us?

Guys have I ever let you down?
BOTH: Yes.

They're teenagers yeah?

They want to get wasted
and get off with people.

And by happy coincidence so do we.

There's a beautiful synergy here.

They won't want us cramping their
style and vice versa.

And what about me?
What about you?

My thing.

The sleepwalking?

OK I admit I'd forgotten about that.

Oh fucking classic.

Hey this has got disaster
written all over it.

Let's worry about the kids
when they get here OK?

Now are we going to break the ice
with our new colleagues or what?

Oh hold on.
I have to get ready first.

Who said the art of
seduction was dead?

That's really going to impress
the beautiful people.

Yeah well bearing in mind
the drunken orgy you sold us

is rapidly turning into a crapfest

I have my doubts as to how
beautiful they'll be anyway.

OK I take it back.

What's great about this
is how I fit seamlessly in.

Hello ladies.

Well rule three Flynn.
No sex remember?

Zoinks. Check it out two o'clock.
They aren't zoinks. They're girls.

We've been through this.
They're not like sausage rolls.

Hands off. I saw her I called her.
She's zoinksed.

You see this is why you're a
virgin unrealistic expectations.

For the last time I'm not a virgin.

Hey just cos your love life's
fucked don't take it out on me.

He didn't mean that.

Hi.

I'm Barry.
Hello Barry.

I'm Kimberley.

OK you planning on
saying anything else?

I'm thinking.
Oh he's thinking.

He's still thinking?

No rush I've got all summer.

You'll be wanting some of this.

You read my mind.
One of my many talents.

Really?

So what am I thinking now?

You're thinking
this party's all very well

but there's probably more fun
to be had elsewhere.

I think you're the
prettiest girl here.

OK maybe not the prettiest

but you're right up there
like top five.

Oh Barry.

You know what I think?

I think you're stoned.

You got any more?

The trouble is
er... I'm new around here.

I'd hate to wander off
into these woods alone.

Very wise.
Anything could be out there.

On the prowl.

You have no new messages.

Might help if you'd talk about it.

I'm contractually obliged
to say that.

Yeah?

I er... I get paid on commission.
I'm the camp guidance counsellor.

So every tissue I administer

every secret confided in me
ker-ching. Ha-ha.

I guess you know
where all the bodies are buried.

Well I'm not sure about the bodies

but I do know who got to second base
with Ryan MacIntyre.

Actually that's who I was calling.
He's not worth it.

Yeah he said I had nice eyes.

Told me I was the one.
I'm Adil by the way.

Oh. Rachael.

My mates call me A-Rab.

Don't you mind?
Well yeah.

Well when the wrong people use it
yeah.

Do you want to know a secret of mine?

I've been here for eight hours

and you're the first person
I haven't felt intimidated by.

I never realised I was such a
hillbilly till I came here.

Good work.

You know we spent the whole
of last summer

looking for a dealer around here?

Nothing. It's a weed-free zone.

Yeah? You still came back though.

Yeah.

I loved it.

What cabin are you?
Um... 17.

What?

Nothing.

So who's the hot guy you were with?

What hot guy? Oh Flynn?

Yeah it's a shame
about all the Chlamydia.

It's not funny.
He's riddled with it.

And he's gay. He is.

All right he's not.
But he is teaching drama.

Oh so he's at least bi.

Let me guess. You're here
to run the computer room?

How did you know that?
The complexion.

Yeah what are you head of tanning?

No. Guess.

Computer room groupie?

Just for reference what would happen

if I tried to
get off with you right now?

I'd stub this out in your eye.
Thought so.

Thanks.

Look. Just so we're clear
me and you never going to happen.

Well you say that now...

Babe? Is that you?

Whoa. It's the boyfriend.

Course. There's a boyfriend.

Just to stack the odds even further.

Let me guess.
A square jaw really buff.

There you are.
You're missing the party. What's up?

I'm just making a new friend.
Jake this is Barry.

Barry.

Good to meet you buddy.
Ow that's a handshake.

Thanks. British right?

Nice tan.
You been working on it for a while?

Ha-ha. Yeah.

Barry it's been lovely.

Come on let's get you back.
All right.

I'm only joking buddy.

I know you Brits pride yourselves
on your sense of'umour.

Now that we've broken the ice
maybe you should put this on.

I don't believe we've been
formally introduced.

You can cut
the Hugh Grant crap honey.

You're a sex tourist

and I'm the kind of woman that brings
a hip flask to an alcohol-free party.

Now I like you even more.

Why don't I give you a hand?

God bless America.

Attention all staff!
Attention!

The campers are ten minutes away!
Ten minutes!

Would all staff gather
on the front right immediately!

Oh yeah some holiday Flynn!

So what are we looking at?

That's the one from last night.
Which one?

Green shirt.

A trip to the land of milf
and honeys. Mm-mm!

Your attention.

Your attention please.

Well! Here we are again.

Another summer about to begin.

I'm sure we're going to
have a lot of fun.

But you must never let your fun
interfere with your responsibilities.

Because the people on those buses
is what this summer is really about.

For the next two months
you are their brothers

their sisters
their surrogate parents.

You are their teacher
their cheerleader their best friend

and their moral compass.

Remember that and go and give them
the best summer they've ever had!

Guys I'd like you
to meet your campers.

I've got sweat rash. Which one of
you all's going to do the honours?

Intolerable. Absolutely intolerable.
Carrying luggage in this heat?

I'll write a strongly worded letter.

Sorry say that again.

I said don't be using my real name.

Yo call me Smallie. Smallie Big.

You got a problem with my AKA?
You conceited piece of...

Oh I'm conceited?
Take a look in the mirror Smallie.

He's every bit as privileged as me.

Despite his absurd cliched posturing.

You ain't careful I pop a cap
in your big jelly ass Rick Junior.

You two know each other then?
Man...

I've had the last three summers
ruined by the Great Fats.

Ah a literary reference.
How refreshing!

Don't patronise me.
I read books and shit...

This is going to be so neat.
I've never been to camp before.

Do you like rabbits Mr Hussain?
Yeah yeah I suppose.

I've got a rabbit at home called
Eliza. I love rabbits.

I love anything snuggly.

I mean this is total bullshit.

There's no way I should be in here
with these fat losers.

No way.

It's a social death sentence.

You all right back there mate?

What's up with him? Don't waste
your time. He never talks.

What am I? A Mexican? This jacket
is hand-stitched. Hand-stitched!

Welcome back you fat fucks.

Yeah we got a whole summer of pain
for you guys.

Boys is that really any way
to welcome our old friends back?

My apologies. Guess these guys
are just excited to be here.

Hey Jake. It's me.

Brandon. B-Dog.

There's been some kind of mistake.
Why aren't I in with you guys?

It's just a bit of extra weight.
I'll lose it in no time.

Sorry who are you lard-ass?
Oh!

See all that matters is what cabin
you in. Every clique's got its own.

Got your plastics your Christians
your goths your stoners your skaters

and then way down
the bottom of the pile us.

Ah the Chunk Bunk
where summers go to die.

Everything all right boys?

Man she is looking fine.

Hasn't been a night since last summer
where I haven't dreamt about her.

And woken up sticky.

Who is she anyway? His assistant?
Pammy his assistant?

She's his wife.

I call shots on them bunks losers.

Long as I'm nowhere near Rick
Junior. Yeah whatever dickwad.

I'm sure one day we'll look back
and laugh at this.

You fucking gonad.

We're surrounded by beautiful women

but your cock makes a beeline
for the boss's wife.

Say it!
Say you sucked a dog's dick!

You sucked a dog's dick!

I actually want to kill them.

Join the queue.

How's Eric?

"Come to America" you said.
"Best summer ever" you said.

This is bullshit.
Sort it out Flynn.

Get down!

So what are we doing tomorrow?
What?

It says here "The day
after you arrive it's Rookie Day.

"The counsellors will arrange
a unique day of no-holds-barred fun

"for you to remember forever."

Last year was awesome.

Jake took us in a helicopter
then we drove tanks.

So what are we doing?

Wait and see.
Great. I love surprises.

Brandon! Don't!

What's wrong with you?

We're bored. You guys suck at this.

Motherfuckers!

Which sick little bastard did this?

Who wanked... in my flipflop?

Jizz...

Did you do this?

You wipe that grin off your face
or I will wipe it off with this.

I said was this you!

He can't help it.
He's a compulsive masturbator.

He's got a note from his doctor
and everything.

This... this isn't funny.
It is dude.

Especially because
you're in the bunk underneath him.

An entire fucking summer?!

What the fuck?

Come back here you little shit!

Guys I can explain!

Open it!
Open the fucking door now!

You little shit!
What's going on?

Open the door!
Come out pervert!

It's all a bit of a misunderstanding.
Dude why are you naked?

Fuck you up! Every possible sense!

We're all angry now. We ain't giving
in until we've punched some flesh!

... so far up your ass!
No don't.

Look guys it's Rookie Day.

We've got things we'd rather be
doing. Let's skip the foreplay here.

Why doesn't one of you just come
out and take what's coming?

You know like a man.
We'll respect you more.

Or why don't you go fuck yourself?

See this is what pisses me off
this unwillingness to negotiate.

We'll negotiate!

Y'all can have the Muslim.

What? It's his mess.

Is there a problem here?

Oh it's just Rookie Day hijinks
sir. You know.

What is going on?
Nothing sir.

You kids OK?

Jake take your boys
and go back to your cabin.

And you guys straighten
this place up.

It's a disgrace.

Bravo.

Whatever cretinous deed you did
it's just ruined our summer.

OK I'm gonna say this real slow

just in case you dipshits
still haven't grasped the basics.

Our parents pay your wages
to make our summer good. Get it?

So what are we doing for Rookie Day?

Come on guys.

You'd enjoy it more
if you put some effort in.

See? It's like baseball.
Except shit.

How long does this game go on for?

Up to five days.
Good grief!

Hold on!

We should be doing that.
You morons are a fucking joke.

Yeah? You're just a bunch
of spoilt little pricks.

How dare you?

First you risk our lives
with your... nocturnal perversions

and now this sorry attempt at fun hm?

We're entitled to a better level
of service than this.

- Come on lads don't be like that.
- No you come on!

And sort your shit out.

It's nice to see them putting aside
their personal differences anyway.

At least we get some time to
ourselves.

How about we kick back
and have a little smoke?

Barry!
Do it do it do it! Go!

All right next... all right.

Wow.

You're a lifeguard like in Baywatch.

Yes Barry exactly like Baywatch.

I only run in slow motion.

Barry mouth shut eyes up here yeah?

How's Rookie Day going?
Pretty bad.

So you could give me swimming
lessons?

You're not seriously telling me
you can't swim?

Yeah seriously.

So there's no chance this is just
an excuse to see me in a swimsuit?

Hadn't even crossed my mind.

You really are a sad little man.

Yes but with your help I can be
a sad little man who can swim.

What do I get out of it?
Er...

I'll hook you up for the rest
of the summer for free.

You found a dealer round here?

Yeah.

Oh come on. What's the problem?
You get stoned. I get a life skill.

Everyone wins.
I don't know Barry.

Well what is it? Got the boyfriend?

I won't tell him if you don't.

Deal.

If you turn up here in a mankini
or anything which shows bulge

the deal's off right?

And Barry this is business.

Yeah yeah. Like you said you know
me and you never gonna happen.

Right. Exactly.

Yeah let's go.
All right guys come on let's go.

Keep it up!
Dude ball!

Oh sorry.
Way to go dumbass.

Hello there.
Hi.

You're friends with Adil
aren't you? Yeah.

I'm Flynn. And you are?
Uh... Rachael.

Hi. Are you here to audition?

No.
Well that's a shame.

Look, I'm not asking for you to hit on me.
I'm just asking how your friend is.

For your information I wasn't
hitting on you. And he's fine.

OK good. When you see him
let him know I say hi.

And for your information
you were hitting on me.

Well someone's got
a high opinion of themselves.

Yes, you.

Right let's get pissed.

What are you doing?

I'm feeling bad about the kids.
I thought we should throw them a party.

In A-Rab's world that's a party.

Forget about the kids yeah?
Remember why we're here.

He's right we deserve some us time.

By the way Rachael says hi.
Who's Rachael?

Well exactly.
And there we were worried about you.

Well it's not like that.
I give up.

He's been a miserable bastard since he
got here and he still pulls before me.

Is she fit?
Not bad.

Seven? Maybe an eight
if she wasn't so uptight.

She's more than a seven.

Gentlemen
we have something to show you.

In the absence of the organised activities
we were contractually entitled to

we've spent Rookie Day on line
and what we found was most intriguing.

I present exhibit A.

Sorry to interrupt everyone.
Get off!

No! No no no.
I got this thing I need to do.

Saima where are you? Ah.

This isn't funny. Stop it now.
But we ain't got to the best bit yet.

Look you little arseholes
stop it or I break it.

No I want to see.
Mate don't do it to yourself.

I want to see it.

I met you my first night here and you've
made these three years so special

and I just don't want
to stop feeling this way.

Saima will you marry me?

Oh my God.

Oh ouch.
Crash and burn baby.

Oh man.
What happens afterwards?

Nothing.

That's er... the last time I saw her
or spoke to her.

Great well done.

Now you've had your fun. You've totally
humiliated him. Are you happy now?

No. I think you got the wrong idea.

Cos it wasn't his private life that got
our attention. It was that backdrop.

Strange don't you think?
No not really.

Hm. Oxford Brookes.

It's just we all got sent a welcome
pack.

And I quote

"Andrew Adil and Barry have just
graduated from Oxford University

"one of the world's most prestigious
academic institutions"

except when we looked it up turns out
Oxford Brookes isn't the same place.

Not by a long way
according to the league tables.

You have heard of Google right?
It's just a misunderstanding.

"Prior to Oxford
Andrew attended Eton College

"following in the footsteps
of Princes William and Harry."

You prick Flynn.
OK.

This is my fault.
It's nothing to do with these guys.

Well let's see what Bobby
says about that shall we?

Any need for that really? You sure
we can't work this out between us?

Oh it's a little late for that
I think.

We wanted you to like us.

You treated us with contempt.

We wanted you to look after us
but you couldn't be bothered.

We wanted you to protect us
but you just made things worse.

So you leave us no option.

Consider this our declaration
of independence

from the tyranny of British rule.

I'm staying.

No you should go. You're gonna
need friends this summer.

Look I can explain.
Fuck you.

I just wanted us to have a good
summer. No biggie.

No biggie? I just spent all the money
I've got in the world coming here.

Fine I'll pay you back.
Yeah? How?

Look maybe they won't sack us.
All right they sack us.

We're still in America.
We'll just get bar jobs or something.

We lied Flynn.
Our visas aren't worth shit.

If Bobby tells immigration
they're just gonna deport us.

I mean you've done some stupid
bollocks in your time but this...

Why did you even bother lying anyway?

Because they'd never have employed
three idiots like us right?

It wasn't deliberate I swear.
It just kind of happened.

Well "It just kind of happened"
is not gonna stand up in court!

I was on the phone to the woman
and I said Oxford. She gets all excited.

I just never quite got round
to saying the word Brookes.

I thought "Fuck it why not?"

I thought getting you away from home
might do you some good.

Just give me my phone back.
Oh come on.

Phone.

Where you going?
Come on. Don't be like this.

Brilliant Flynn. Just brilliant.

Saima will you marry me?

You OK?
I haven't been drinking.

Yeah
it's probably just a stomach bug.

Come on let's get you home.

I just think we should give them
one more chance. Maybe...

No way man. I ain't having
another summer like last year.

Well.

Look who it is.

You have eight new messages.

Love it's Mum again. Please call.

I'm worried sick. Just come home.

You can't run away from this love.
You've got to come back and face...

Grace! We were worried sick about...
Are you drunk?

The nice man found me.

Go inside Grace.
Drink some water.

Thanks. I guess technically
you should report this.

Oh what for? She gets sent home.

You get a black mark. No one wins.
Thank you.

Look I... I hardly know you
but you seem like a really nice guy.

So I'm glad it's you
looking after cabin 17.

Oh right. Yeah yeah the Chunk Bunk.

I've been going back through
my predecessor's files.

Seems like those kids end up in my
office more than anyone else.

This place can be pretty cruel
I guess.

They just need someone
to fight their corner.

Yeah right.
So.

I'm glad they got one
of the good guys this year.

Er... I should check she's OK. Night
Adil.

- A-Rab.
- Night A-Rab.

Look I fucked up. I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry. I just wanted us
to have the perfect summer.

There'll be other summers.

I can lose the weight Jake! I want
to be where I belong in the locker...

Hush now.

There's no need to get all nostalgic
about this. Now are you ready?

Good.

One two three! Heave!
BOYS CRY

Oh nothing... nothing personal
Brandon.

MUFFLED GROANS
Just the way things are.

Now watch and learn!

Cardiovascular activity gentlemen.

30 minutes every day available!

Heart disease diabetes
cancer of the colon. Rectal prostate.

You guys are fucking time bombs.

Call me sentimental but I worry
about you I really do.

Say cheese. Ow.

Oh! Oh that's nice. That's... Yeah.
There's a real Abu Ghraib to it.

Yeah I'm sure this'll go down well
with the parents.

Oh it's you.
Didn't recognise you with clothes.

Ha-ha.
Give me the camera.

Give me the kids.
Oh cos you really care about 'em.

Yeah as it goes.
We love an underdog us Brits.

And what? You think
you can take us all on alone?

He's not alone.

And like the man said let 'em go.

We know they're annoying
little turds.

But they're our
annoying little turds.

Fine if that's the way you want it

then we're just gonna have to
kick the crap out of all of you.

Fucking yes!

Come on then!

I am so up for this
you will not believe!

Got a Fight Club kind of mood on.
Do you know what I mean?

Ever feel so numb inside
you want pain just to feel alive?

Huh? No pads or helmets today boys.

Who wants to dance? I'm serious.

Right now! Who wants to dance with
me and my massive fucking sword?

Oh! Shit!
Take it easy mate.

Now as I see it
we've got three options. One

we fight you lose limbs.

Two we take that picture to Bobby's
office like a bunch of pussies.

Or three truce.

You walk away we delete the picture.

It's your move.

I want to see you delete it.

OK truce.

But provoke me or my guys
and the deal's off you got it?

Which means you
keep your cock away from our cabin.

You! Yeah stay away
from my girlfriend.

And you...

dude seriously what the fuck?!
Who brings a sword to a fist fight?

You should come to Glasgow
some time mate.

Let's get out of here.

And that my darlings is acting.

And the Oscar for the biggest
showboating cock goes to.

Do we have to let them down?

My undergarments are still
somewhere near my lungs.

Nice mates you got there.

- So what now?
- Well that's up to you guys.

We'd like to propose a deal.

We'll keep quiet if you agree
to our terms and conditions.

And they are?

One. No salad.

Every damn year
they try and make us lose weight.

I get enough of that at home.

Fine no salad agreed.

Two. You help us increase
our social standing within the camp.

Specifically in relation to girls.

We can try
if you also stop being such cocks.

OK agreed. Three.

Internet porn.
Where's the good free stuff?

Bearing in mind
none of us have credit cards.

I was born to do that one.

Four...

... Smallie wants a threesome.

I'm talking me and two ladies.

I ain't crossing swords with no one.

Realistically no.

- Deal-breaker.
- Never gonna happen.

One girl. Second base?

We can try. Agreed.

Oh and five
Thurston wants the bunk above A-Rab.

Deal. Sometimes you got
to take one for the team man.

So that's all?

OK but we got some conditions too.

One stop being annoying.

Two if I'm with a girl
seriously fuck off.

Three I haven't got
the energy to be PC

so get used to being
called the fatties.

There's no point
in being dicks about it.

That's what groups
of fat kids get called.

And four.
We only wank on stuff we own.

And five give us the memory stick.

OK but if we Googled it
so can everyone else.

Leave that to me.
Degree in computer sciences.

I thank you. From Oxford you know.

OK fellas we got a deal.
We watch your backs you watch ours.

Come on. Let's vow this shit down.

Really? We're really doing this?

So this is us.

The Chunk Bunk summer 2011.

We few we lucky few
we band of brothers...

Whoa whoa whoa.
Hold on. What about Jizz?

Jizz? You OK over there mate?

Or are you gonna come and join us?

Other hand!

Must stop meeting like this.

Yeah.

About the other night...

Fun wasn't it?

Well yeah
but I had no idea who you were.

But I know who you are Flynn.
I know exactly who you are.

It was me who interviewed you.

Eton College? My ass.

So why did you give me the job?

Have a guess.

So you could get us
thrown out at any point then?

Looks that way.

Better make sure you stay
in my good books hadn't you?

Don't pretend you won't enjoy it.

What if I say no?

You won't. You're on holiday.

That was some wedgie.

- Push! Push!
- I'm pushing!

- Hang in there Rick Junior!
- Oh that hurts!

Are you sure you don't need a hand?

No we do this a lot.

We got a system.

That is gonna be some skid mark.

And we're out.

OK.

Me next.

And a happy July 4th to you all.

Her eyes are saying
"Come and get me A-Rab."

How much of the time would you say
you spent looking at my rack?

80 85%?

Mr Spencer. I'm greatly
looking forward to your pageant.

Are you sure this is gonna
get us dates for tonight?

So you guys going
to this thing tonight?

- Have you got a date for tonight?
- Yes Barry. Jake's taking me.

Trying to impress a girl.

You really think
you have a chance with her?

I underestimated you
but the gloves are off now.

Wild child Willy Meadows
is up to her old tricks again.

Willy! How lovely to see you.

Don't even think about it Spencer.

You're not alone whatever you think.

Now let me reiterate

staff who indulge in inappropriate
behaviour with campers get fired!

Yes?

You actually disgust me.

Do you know that?

Funny.