Bearcats! (1971): Season 1, Episode 1 - The Devil Wears Armor - full transcript

THE DEVIL WEARS ARMOR
EP. 01

Jason Ryker is their leader.

He stole the tank
from an army bivouac.

He's cunning and
vicious and a killer.

Tank?

He has terrorized the border...

and has destroyed
four of my banks.

Nearly a hundred thousand dollars
stolen by Ryker and his tank.

Any idea where he's now?

In here, exactly here.

Yep, you got a
problem, all right.



Now if the army just goes in
and gets its tank back.

But it's not that simple.
That spit of land is disputed territory.

Mexican government and yours.
Something to do with...

a small river changing
course every other spring.

Kind of a no man's
land right?

Right.

You are to go into
that no man's land,

get Ryker and bring the
tank back to the army.

Kind of a hard thing to do.

The recommendation is that you
can do what no one else can.

I hope so,
because I'm desperate.

Therefore it is customary
to leave the amount

of payment for your
services blank, Yes?

Yes, yeah, well, uh you can
look at it this way, if we,



we don't come out of this alive,

you're you're getting
our services free.

I hope you're not riding that on one
of the banks that's been knocked off.

You know of course you're
absolutely on your own.

You're going into
Rykers country but

there's no law or
government for help.

Not yours nor mine.

Ryker has made that country
into a sanctuary for every SKP,

cutthroat and renegade from
both sides of the border.

Devil's country.

Wait a minute, the San Miguel
mission is there, isn't it?

Do you have any plans?

Well, there's a new saying out of Kansas
city if you can't lick them join them.

Join them? The men who tried it
before you were shot on site.

Yes I know.

Well, we'll just have to have them
give us a royal welcome.

All right, all right,
I'll bite.

Now, why would Ryker
has been welcome us.

Because we're mean nasty.

What makes us mean nasty?

We've done bad things?

Maybe you have, not me.

You forget, we held up
an army payroll.

- Yeah, but we... we what?
- Held up an army payroll.

- When did we do that?
- We didn't yet. I just thought of it.

And when you tell Ryker that he's uh he's
going to welcome us with open arms, uh?

Uh-uh, first we're going to
escape from a federal prison.

Well, of course you
have one in mind.

Right run by a friend of mine.

- Full Bird Carol.
- It's the best kind to have.

- You've got it all planned huh?
- Yeah just like clockwork.

Put the hood down.

Put the hood down.

Well, here's the
things you asked for.

Pair of manacles.

Sawed in half, army issue.

Orders sentencing you to
Leavenworth for 20 years.

For the crime of stealing
an army payroll.

Here again.

Two pairs of prisoners
uniforms, old.

Thanks a lot, George.
Listen we'll leave our things at

the post laundry and pick them
up in about a week we hope.

Now why should I
do your laundry?

For openers, because I
introduced you to Tina.

- Uh, who's Tina?
- Tina?

Baby, you had to meet Tina.

Why, I do your laundry?

We... let's see.

Grab a drink.

- All right, let's have it.
- Was just thinking.

About what?

About Ryker and
getting close to him..

Thinking about our plan on the
convict outfits. I just hope it works.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

I didn't think it worked
in the first place.

- No kidding didn't you?
- Nah.

But I might as well.
Tap that check, huh?

See the day
when you tear up a check.

This crazy country.
You know even as

convicts we may not
get close to Ryker.

You always seem to forget.
The Lord is with us.

And he's in residence of the
mission at San Miguel, right?

And we may just have
to stop in there.

- Feel better.
- A little.

What do you mean a little name
the last time I let you down?

I'm glad you mentioned that.

That it was in New Orleans.

You introduce me to
that girl as your sister.

Ah, true but your life
didn't depend on it.

Look at that.
And it's called devil country.

I wonder why?

- Is that a mirage?
- I sure hope not.

- You see one wave that she?
- Yeah I did, in Albuquerque.

You said it was your sister.

Good morning.

Might go for a ride?

You don't say go for a ride,
you offer a little pleasantry.

A pleasant good
morning to you, miss.

Let the clutch out slowly.

My friend and I were,
uh, wondering.

Why you're sitting on a
rock in your pantaloons?

I mean if you're in some kind of
trouble we could give you a lift.

I wouldn't go near one
of those contraptions.

- What happened to you?
- I was robbed and stripped.

By whom?

By bandits,
those fellas right over there.

They didn't take the car
because they can't drive.

- I know.
- But why the clothes?

I don't know.

I mean what can they
do with a prison uniform?

It's absolutely typical.

That's the way a
woman's mind works,

she knows how ridiculous we
look in our underdrawers.

You know she's going to wake up in
a week and she'll still be laughing.

That's, that's a very nasty lady.

Get in.

What's our backup plan?

- The mission?
- San Miguel?

What else?

This works out, fine.
Friars have great immunity.

Hopefully right, Jose.

Can I help you, my son?

Is there something
I could do?

Good day friar uh.

Well, we're travelers and we were
set up on by thieves and uh...

Friar, have you ever had a
ride in a Stutz Bearcat?

Well, father, what do
you think of the Stutz?

The lord is infinitely wise.

There's one more thing.
Can we have a loaf of bread?

- I'll break it with you.
- No. I mean to take with us.

Then you'll need a flagon of wine.

Wonderful uh and a couple
of prayer books, too.

Prayer books?
You've given me a lovely day.

- I wonder how big it is.
- Huh, how big is what?

- The tank.
- The tank? uh...

Tanks are big. Probably bigger
than the Stutz Bearcat.

- Have you ever seen one?
- Huh?

No, but i've seen
pictures of them.

Oh, how big?

I just told you,
they're big.

I think what we've got
here is gonna handle it.

What we've got here...

Will handle anything.

I hear they're very big.

They're very big.
What's matter?

Huh, I just figured out how we're gonna
get out of here when we're through.

Well, first we've
got to get in.

Have faith brother.
Let's go.

Billy Ray.

Tell Mr. Ryker
two mans are coming.

How they are?

Ah, they look like a couple
of mossy back old pilgrims.

- When's Rose getting back?
- She will be back soon.

Mr. Ryker.
Mr. Ryker!

Go see what he wants, Karla.

- Mr. Ryker?
- Yeah.

There's a couple strangers
approaching the camp, sir.

Shoot him.

I uh, I want to thank you for for
bringing me to this moment.

Well, as I don't know.

I tell my mother I died a friar.

This is terrible, this is
just really terrible.

- What is?
- Well shooting at friars.

That's just dirty poo.

- You have a dirty pool plan?
- Uh, well.

Yeah, maybe, let's go.

No.

Hold your fire, a mule
headed crash bellies.

- Well, Mr. Ryker, you said that...
- Monks come looking for monks.

You shoot one,
you get a congregation.

What are you
monks want here?

You gently bothered
my poor heart.

Uh, we wondered why
you shot at us and then.

Opened your doors to us as it were.

What are you
monks doing here?

- We were traveling south.
- South?

Huh, San Vicente they're
rededicating the old mission.

As a matter of fact they have
asked the brother and I to.

Offer the opening benediction which
is rather sweet that's your think.

Just how come they'd
invite a couple of gringos.

Oh, we know the monsignor, in fact,
he baptized the young brother here.

Yeah, he thought we might
enjoy a trip to Mexico.

You too birds always walk
to these here shindigs?

Oh, oh, no, no, we ran into some
misfortune last night thieves.

- Set up us.
- Yeah, our "burros" everything.

All they left is what we
have on our packs.

What have you
gotten in their packs?

Uh, friar things.

Open them up.
Not you.

Billy Ray.

Very good leven bread,
you can keep that myself.

Oh, and a prayer book extra
one for the brother, perhaps.

Is sister Audrey's Gooseberry wine.

Excellent isn't it brother Cecil.

Well, he's actually uh excellent
if you have a bad cough.

Or a wheeze. Do you happen
to have a wheeze group.

Rest for a while one
of these lintels.

And then move on real quick.

Fine. Do keep this?
Share it with your friends, my son?

Well, here let me take
them back home.

- Bless him.
- Bless you.

No, we have to bear
our own burdens.

Bless you.

You, uh, figured out yet how
we're going to blow the tank?

Old army tactics,
straight out of the manual.

Create a diversion. I'm going
to blow the end of that wall.

Get the guards away
from the tank just long

enough for me to put a
little package under it.

Do I do, while all
that's going on you.

You pray brother I'm going to be
all busy keep your eyes open.

Uh-huh just connect these two wires.

There and there and we got
a timing device, right?

- Right.
- Okay brother.

Let's go blow up the tank.

- Question?
- What?

Well, what happens
after we blow it?

Just steal a couple of horses and take off
the Stutz Bearcatt, easy as that, adios.

And those vickers machine guns?

You know for a man of the cloth you
don't have much faith in me, do you?

Well, now brother Cecil.
You have to remember I...

I haven't been in this
line of work very long.

Second time you've done that.
Now don't call me Cecil.

Here's the layout, all right,
and remember, the main thing is timing.

I'm gonna blow
the wall right here.

Now, you create your own diversion at the
other side of the camper this wall here.

Where the tank is and keep
those tank guards off my back.

- All divermon.
- Bless you, bless you father.

- Now this road coming at a camp.
- He doesn't have any guards posted.

Exactly, so that's the escape
route if anything happens, okay?

You know something
still bothers me.

What's that?

Well, the camp is crawling with
armed guards and road's not guarded.

He doesn't need him.
He got the tank.

Not for long, friar Johnny.

That's as far as you go.

That's an interesting machine.
What is it?

Do you're looking right
where you're standing.

Mr. Ryker's orders.

Thank you.

Very strange, indeed.

Excuse me, brothers.

- How long before it blows?
- We have three minutes.

Don't shoot, it's a nun.

- Hank.
- Huh?

Oh my god, no.

Johnny, the bomb,
we've got to stop the bomb.

I know, I know.

- Get them away from the wall.
- Any idea how?

You think of something.

Now let's just hold
it up there, huh?

I would like to see whoever
is in charge here, please.

Mr. Ryker is very busy.

These children need some rest.

They're very tired and
they're very hungry.

Now if you would please tell Mr. Ryker
that I would like to speak to him, please.

Yes ma'am.
I'll tell him.

Feel better, brother?

Yes, much better. Thank you
for your kindness, thank you.

- Why they stopped here?
- I don't know.

I'm going to find some way
to get them out of here.

We can't blow the tank.

Ever scurting and
none of those kids.

- Has come someone.
- Think.

How far are you
headed, sister?

The orphanage of the
blessed mother at San Rafael.

And with your permission
sir, I'd like to stay

here long enough for the
children to rest and eat.

We got no room.

Well, you don't know
how little room we take.

Well the sun goes down,
I want you out of here.

Thank you.

Uh, I was wondering if you
might, perhaps, have some milk.

- For the baby.
- We got no milk.

Uh, we got some goats milk.

Oh, that'll do fine. Goat's milk
is really quite nourishing.

You'll get him some goats milk.

Hey, have you telling
her who we are?

- You can't lie to a nun.
- Who spoke of lying.

I'm gonna tell her that's all.

- Afternoon.
- Ah afternoon, son.

- Afternoon.
- She was a hot one today ain't it?

Yes, it certainly is. You know
what my advice to you my boy is

to go out there and lie under a
tree in the breeze somewhere.

No?

Do you want to see
us about something?

I know this is going to be hard to
believe but I was a choir boy once.

Oh, you want to sing?

Well, we're kind of busy
right now, Billy Ray...

I came here to tell you
about something I done.

I figured if I talked about it
might feel better afterwards.

I mean something
real bad I'd do it.

Besides robbing an such.

You've done something
worse than robbing an such?

Well tonight were
you thinking, yes, sir.

Well, why don't you
tell us about it later?

I'm leaving you till I tell you.

What did you do?

No!

No!

- What'd you do?
- Oh it's just terrible.

- What would he do?
- Oh it's just terrible.

He cheated his friends
with cards and a dice.

You're just a natural born cheat,
aren't you Billy Ray?

Yes, you see,
I was kind of thinking you talked

to me some and read me out
of the good book, see.

Being since I can't
read or anything like...

Billy Ray a sin like that has to be
punished swiftly and surely, right?

- Yes.
- Or the thunder will clap.

Yes, sir.

The lightning will strike.
And the heavens will open up.

- Yes, sir.
- Brother.

- Friar.
- Punish him.

Let's wrap him and stash him.

Good afternoon ma'am, sister.

Good afternoon.

We thought maybe we
could help give you a hand.

Well, that all depends how
are you at changing diapers.

- Changing what?
- Oh Pepe's not that fragile.

As a matter of fact he's
quite strong for his age.

Are there are clean diapers
there on the table.

- Where?
- On the table.

And you can help
with the milk.

- The milk?
- Yes, pour it.

Yes ma'am.
I mean, yes sister.

- One little pin.
- Well, you're doing very well.

- He's in fine boy, isn't he?
- I'm sister Catalina.

- And you?
- Me?

That's what I wanted
to talk about.

I have a confession to make.

I thought you would.

You did? I was hoping we could keep
this between ourselves, but, uh...

- I'm not really a friar.
- I suspected that.

You did?

Yes, you see. It's fairly obvious that
neither you nor your friend are friars.

How, how come you
didn't say anything?

You're so gentle with the baby
that I must believe you have some

good purpose in being here
dressed the way that you are.

As a matter of
fact we do, sister.

Our host he, uh, he uses that
toy to rob and murder people.

Oh, then that
machine is evil isn't it?

You could put it like that.

We're going to destroy it but we don't
want you here while we're doing it.

Oh, I see.

The point is I'd like to
blow it up right away.

Oh, well, not before the
children have finished eating.

Not before the children are finished.

Hey sister, thank you.

Mr. Ryker!

Mr. Ryker!

Mr. Ryker!

I've got some real interesting
news for you, Mr. Ryker.

Well, let's hear it.

Army Payroll, Fort Washington.

They're putting it together
to send someplace else.

- Where are they sending it?
- They're delivering it to Fort Slater.

Karla, get the map.

What are they thinking
they load up with?

An army wagon.

They're meeting at the rail head.

See? Nothing but 40 miles
of open road in between.

Well, hit him right here. Go tell
Coley to get the tank ready.

Right!

Hey rose.
Hey fellas look who's here?

Hi, Rose.

Good to see you back.

Thanks. Is good
to be back.

Hey, Ryker, it's Rose.
I told you she'd be back.

Rose.

Oh, I miss you.
You miss me?

- Ryker?
- Yeah, what is it?

You know there's two friars
that are here in camp?

What about them?

- You see who I saw?
- Huh, the girl on the rock.

- Thinks he recognize us?
- I do not know.

- Grab those monks.
- She recognizes.

- Get away!
- Find them!

Find in the place around!

Find him and kill him.

Take look around.

Friar things.

What's this?

- Well, now look at this.
- So that's what they was up to.

And you take this out
of here and get rid of it.

- Yeah.
- Be careful.

Billy?

I got a thing or two say
about them two monks.

Well, tell me Billy.

Well, I don't think
they are monks.

Don't you ever
try to think, Billy.

Yes, sir.

Oh, Mr. Ryker!

- Mr. Ryker, I was just trying...
- You won't be making this trip Billy.

When I get back
I want you long gone.

Hey, Johnny.

Ryker is on the prowl again.

Here's our chance to get him.

- Okay, Johnny.
- Yeah.

Let's go now.

Shall we earn our money?

Let's.

Now let's get us that tank.

Let's go, Johnny.

Johnny, that's no
get us anywhere.

I was wondering when
you're going to say that.

Tell me what. You get me behind
that thing as close as you can.

- I'll get aboard.
- You're on.

Ryker!

You got two choices.

Come out and or
stay there and fry.

Get them high!
Hold high!

Real nice.

Out!
Get out of here!

They get Ryker
and the tank.

Ahead this way.

See, children?
Well do everyitme.

Just leave him
good tied, Johnny.

Oh, he is not going
to anywhere.

About we say goodbye, eh?

- Sister.
- Brother.

Ah, I've told before,
I'm not brother.

Well, To my way thinking,
you are brothers.

Thank you for that.

And have a good trip.

You too.

And brothers...

Bless you.

- All set, Johnny?
- All set.

You follow, Mr. Bracket.
Just like a puppy dog.

Just like a puppy dog.

Hey, you look a...

Steady.

Yeah, and you too.

- Well, see you.
- See you.

Where you done?

I wil get behind the
wheel of a Stutz Bearcat

and prepare for a magnificent evening.

- You know what day is?
- Today is friday.

Friday, my turn.

My turn in the car, friday.

No, that was last month.
Not this month.

Head...

- Head.
- Tails.

Come on, Hop in.
My date has a sister.

So this mine.

What your date look like?

She's gorgeous.

What she sister like?

They're twins.

Need I come with you.

Subtitles: Kilo