Baywatch (1989–2001): Season 8, Episode 18 - Quarantine - full transcript

-[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

-♪ SOME PEOPLE STAND
IN THE DARKNESS ♪

♪ AFRAID TO STEP
INTO THE LIGHT ♪

♪ SOME PEOPLE NEED ♪

♪ TO HELP SOMEBODY

♪ WHEN THE EDGE OF
SURRENDER'S IN SIGHT ♪

♪ DON'T YOU WORRY

♪ IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT

♪ 'CAUSE I'M ALWAYS READY

♪ I WON'T LET YOU
OUT OF MY SIGHT ♪

♪ I'LL BE READY



♪ I'LL BE READY

♪ NEVER YOU FEAR

♪ NO DON'T YOU FEAR

♪ I'LL BE READY

♪ FOREVER AND ALWAYS

♪ I'M ALWAYS HERE

♪ 'CAUSE I'M ALWAYS READY

♪ I WON'T LET YOU
OUT OF MY SIGHT ♪

♪ YEAH

♪ I'LL BE READY

♪ I'LL BE READY

♪ NEVER YOU FEAR

♪ NO DON'T YOU FEAR

♪ I'LL BE READY



♪ FOREVER AND ALWAYS

♪ I'M ALWAYS HERE

-[BAT CLINKS]

♪ UNDER PERFECT WEATHER

♪ BRING US ALL TOGETHER

♪ CALLING EVERYBODY

♪ WE'RE GONNA HAVE A PARTY

♪ EACH AND EVERY DAY WE

♪ RUSH AROUND LIKE CRAZY

♪ JUMPING EVERY HURDLE

♪ RUNNING AROUND IN CIRCLES

♪ DON'T LET IT GET YOU DOWN

♪ WE CAN TURN IT ALL AROUND

♪ TRADE THE GREY FOR SUNSHINE

♪ WE'RE GONNA HAVE A GOOD TIME

♪ YOU CAN HIT THE BEACH SOAK UP THE SUN

♪ WE HAVE ONLY JUST BEGUN

♪ UNDER PERFECT WEATHER

♪ BRING US ALL TOGETHER

♪ CALLING EVERYBODY

♪ WE'RE GONNA HAVE A PARTY

♪ WE ARE UP AND READY

♪ SPENDING EVERY PENNY

♪ SENDING YOU A LIFELINE

♪ WE'RE GONNA HAVE A GOOD TIME

♪ LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT

♪ SEIZE THE DAY AND TAKE IT

♪ CALLING EVERYBODY

♪ WE'RE GONNA HAVE A PARTY

♪ YOU CAN HIT THE BEACH SOAK UP THE SUN

♪ WE HAVE ONLY JUST BEGUN

♪ UNDER PERFECT WEATHER

♪ BRING US ALL TOGETHER

-HEY, APRIL. WHAT'S GOIN' ON?

-IT'S BAYWATCH TRYOUTS
FOR THE OVER THE LINE TEAM.

WE'RE GOING TO SAN
DIEGO FOR LABOR

DAY WEEKEND FOR
A BIG TOURNAMENT.

YOU EVER PLAY?

-DID I EVER PLAY? ALL
THE TIME WHEN I WAS A KID.

I MEAN, OVER THE
LINE WAS MY GAME.

-WELL WHY DON'T YOU TRY OUT?
WE STILL HAVE AN OPEN SPOT.

-I DON'T KNOW, I MEAN I
HAVEN'T PLAYED IN AWHILE.

-YOU REMEMBER HOW I
MEAN, FIRST LINE SINGLE,

SECOND LINE DOUBLE,
THIRD LINE HOME RUN.

-OH, I REMEMBER.

-OK, WELL THEN
TAKE CHRIS' SPOT.

HEY, CHRIS, J.D.'S
GOIN' IN FOR YOU.

-CHRIS: ALL RIGHT.

-TAKE THE FRONT LINE, SEE
IF YOU GOT ANYTHING LEFT.

-OH I GOT PLENTY LEFT.

LET'S GO!

-ALL RIGHT, TAKE
EVERYTHING YOU CAN GET TO.

JORDAN, STAY IN THE
MIDDLE, I'LL GO DEEP,

CALL EVERYTHING IN THE AIR.

ALL RIGHT! LET'S GO. WHOO!

♪ UNDER PERFECT WEATHER

♪ BRING US ALL TOGETHER

♪ CALLING EVERYBODY

♪ WE'RE GONNA HAVE A PARTY

-[GRUNTS]

-YOU OK, J.D.?

-JUST A LITTLE
RUSTY, THAT'S ALL.

-HEY, DON'T WORRY ABOUT
IT. YOU'RE DOIN' GOOD.

IT'S YOUR TURN UP AT BAT.

COME ON!

-I TOLD YOU I HAVEN'T
PLAYED IN AWHILE.

-OK, JUST KEEP YOUR
EYE ON THE BALL.

FOCUS, YOU CAN DO IT.

NICE, EASY SWING.

-CHRIS: ALL YOU.

♪ TRADE THE GREY FOR SUNSHINE

♪ WE'RE GONNA HAVE A GOOD TIME

♪ YOU CAN HIT THE BEACH SOAK UP THE SUN

♪ WE HAVE ONLY JUST BEGUN

♪ UNDER PERFECT WEATHER

♪ BRING US ALL TOGETHER

♪ CALLING EVERYBODY

♪ WE'RE GONNA HAVE A PARTY

-[ENGINE REVS]

-'MORNIN'!

-APRIL: HEY! DID YOU
SEE J.D. OUT THERE?

-SURE DID, HE'S TRYIN' TO
GET IN SHAPE FOR THE TEAM.

-I HOPE HE MAKES IT.

-MITCH: YEAH, ME TOO.

-SO DID YOU GET MY
MESSAGE FROM HEADQUARTERS?

-YEAH, I DID.

-DID YOU FIND SOMEONE?

-NO PROBLEM-O, NEWMIE
WILL BE HERE AT NOON.

CAN YOU HANG ON TILL THAT?

-DEFINITELY, MY
MEETING'S NOT TILL TWO.

THANKS A LOT, MITCH.

-IF YOU KNEW YOU HAD
A MEETING, WHY DIDN'T

YOU JUST TAKE THE
WHOLE DAY OFF?

-WELL I JUST FOUND OUT
ABOUT IT THIS MORNING.

IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE NEXT
WEEK BUT THE HEAD BUYER

WENT OUT OF TOWN SO
THEY MOVED IT UP.

-THE HEAD BUYER? FOR WHAT?

-IT'S A SHOE COMPANY CALLED
CALIFORNIA LIFESTYLES.

I HAD TO DESIGN A LINE OF
SHOES FOR ONE OF MY CLASSES

SO FOR THE HECK OF IT, I SENT
HIM A COPY OF THE DRAWINGS.

THEY CALLED ME THE NEXT
DAY AND WANTED TO MEET ME.

-WOW.

CONGRATULATIONS.

-WELL IT'S JUST
A MEETING SO FAR,

I'M NOT EVEN CLOSE
TO MAKING A SALE.

-YEAH, BUT IT'S A START.

ALL RIGHT, [SNAPS
FINGERS] I'LL SEE YA,

I'M OFF TO THE SAND AND SEA.

-SAY HI TO NEELY FOR ME.

AND THANKS AGAIN FOR
LETTING ME LEAVE EARLY.

-YOU'RE WELCOME, LISTEN UM,

GOOD LUCK, KNOCK
EM DEAD, HUH?

-HEY UH, YOU MISSED A SPOT.

-OH, THE SHINY ONE
ON TOP OF YOUR HEAD?

-OH YEAH, YOU'RE
KILLIN' ME, VERY FUNNY.

-HEY, HAVE YOU SEEN THE
NEW TOWER ASSIGNMENTS?

-NO, I JUST GOT HERE.

-READ 'EM AND WEEP BABY.

-YOU'RE WORKIN'
THE PHOTO SHOOT?

-IT'S NOT JUST A PHOTO
SHOOT, THEY'RE DOING

THE CATALOG FOR
BARBARA'S BOUDOIR.

-HOW'D YOU SWING THIS?

-WELL LET'S JUST SAY I'LL
BE WASHING TRUCKS FOR AWHILE.

BUT IT'LL BE WORTH IT,
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT

THE SEXIEST MODELS
IN THE WORLD.

-[BRAKES SQUEAK]

-ON MY BEACH.

-[SCOFFS]

-[CHUCKLES]

-[ENGINE SPUTTERING]

-[CAR BACKFIRES]
-OH!

EXCUSE ME, YOU SUPPOSE
ONE OF YOU BEACH JOCKEYS

COULD DIRECT ME
TO YOUR LEADER?

-NEWMIE: WHAT?

-YEAH, I'M LOOKIN' FOR A
CAPTAIN MITCH BUCK-ANUN.

-IT'S BUCHANNON.
-OH.

-AND HIS OFFICE IS
RIGHT UP THOSE STAIRS.

-UH-HUH.

-WHO ARE YOU?

-OH, I'M ED SYMES OF SYMES
MEDICAL SUPPLIES, INC.

-IS HE EXPECTING YOU?

-YEAH, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO
MEET AT 10 O'CLOCK AND I HATE

TO BE LATE SO I WILL SEE
YOU BEACH BOYS LATER, OK.

-HEY UH ED, IT'S NOT
CAPTAIN BUCHANNON ANYMORE.

IT'S LIEUTENANT NOW.

-OH, LIEUTENANT. SO HE
GOT BUSTED HUH? FOR WHAT?

UH HEY. I DON'T EVEN
WANNA KNOW, ALL RIGHT.

HE'S MY KINDA PEOPLE,
SO ARE YOU GUYS.

I APPRECIATE WHAT YOU
DO FOR ME, THANKS.

-NEWMIE: ED SYMES?

-J.D.: GOOD LUCK, MITCH.

-[PEOPLE TALKING]

-WOMAN: HELP! HELP ME!

-BAYWATCH, THIS IS GIMINSKY,
I GOT A RIP PULLING OFF

OF TOWER SEVEN, I'M GONNA
HAVE TO HIT THE WATER,

PLEASE SEND BACK UP.

-[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

-[SPLASHING]

-[SWIMMERS GASPING
AND GRUNTING]

[SWIMMERS COUGHING]

[SWIMMERS GASPING]

-APRIL: STAY CALM,
DON'T WORRY. HERE,

TAKE THE RESCUE CAN.

I'M GONNA TAKE YOU IN.
-[SWIMMER GASPING]

OK, YOU CAN STAND
UP NOW, YOU'RE SAFE.

-[SIREN WAILS]

-[RADIO CHATTER]

-[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

-[COUGHING AND GASPING]

-[GASPING AND COUGHING]

-APRIL: YOU CAN
WALK IN FROM HERE.

BE CAREFUL OF THE CURRENT.

WALK PARALLEL TO THE
SHORE. I'LL HELP YOU.

-[MITCH GASPS]

-APRIL: THERE YOU GO.

I'LL BE BACK.

MITCH, IS HE OK?

-MITCH: HE'S UNCONSCIOUS.

THERE'S ONE MORE
GUY, GO GET HIM.

-[SWIMMER COUGHING]

-OK.

HERE, TAKE MY CAN,
LET ME DO THE WORK.

-[SIREN WAILS]

-[PEOPLE TALKING]

-JORDAN: EXCUSE ME.

-MITCH: ALL RIGHT, EASY.
EASE HIM DOWN, EASE HIM DOWN.

-JORDAN: WHAT HAPPENED?

-APRIL: JUST REST
HERE, YOU'RE GONNA BE OK.

-MITCH: SUBMERGING.

-JORDAN: HOW
LONG WAS HE UNDER?

-[RADIO CHATTER]

1-2-3-4-5.

-[JORDAN EXHALES]

-1-2-3-4-5.

-[JORDAN EXHALES]

MITCH: 1-2-3-4-5.

-[JORDAN EXHALES]

-WE GOT A PULSE.

-[COUGHS AND GURGLES]

-OK, OK, OK, EASY
GUY. WAY TO GO.

-IS HE ALL RIGHT?

-HE SEEMS TO BE.

-WE NEED A CALL-CART
IN HERE, HUH?

-IT'S ON THE WAY
BACK FROM MALIBU.

I'VE CALLED THE PARAMEDICS,
BUT THEY'RE TIED UP

IN AN ACCIDENT ON
THE COAST HIGHWAY.

-MITCH: ALL RIGHT.
GET ME A BLANKET.

-HE DOESN'T LOOK
SO GOOD MITCH.

WHY IS HE SHAKING LIKE THAT?
[VICTIM GASPING]

-LIFEGUARD: HERE YOU GO.
-MITCH: ALL RIGHT.

LET'S GET HIM UP
TO HEADQUARTERS,

PUT HIM IN THE
BACK OF THE TRUCK.

-APRIL: OK. UP, UP, UP.

-MITCH: COME ON
GUY, THERE YOU GO.

ALL RIGHT, EASY.

-[WHEEZING]

-MITCH, WHY IS HE
WHEEZING LIKE THAT?

-IT SOUNDS LIKE
HE'S ASPIRATING,

HE MUST'VE TAKEN
IN A LOT OF WATER.

-I THOUGHT HE WASN'T
SUBMERGED THAT LONG.

-HE WAS DOWN LONG ENOUGH.

ALL RIGHT, KEEP HIM IN
AN UPRIGHT POSITION.

KEEP THE O2 FLOWING
AND MONITOR HIS

VITAL SIGNS TILL THE
CALL-CART GETS HERE.

-NO PROBLEM.

-APRIL SEE ANYBODY COME
INTO THE BEACH WITH HIM?

-SHE COULDN'T FIND ANYBODY,
NO ONE CONTACTED HEADQUARTERS.

HE MUST HAVE
COME BY HIMSELF.

[PHONE RINGING]
-HEY, JOE!

GET IN HERE AND
GIVE ME A HAND.

STAY WITH HIM,
STAY WITH HIM.

-[RADIO CHATTER]

-UH, PARDON ME. HOW MUCH LONGER
DO YOU THINK IT'S GONNA BE?

-GIVE ME A BREAK
HERE, WILL YA?

I TOLD YOU, THEY JUST
BROUGHT IN AN EMERGENCY CASE.

IF I WERE YOU,
I'D RESCHEDULE.

-HEY, RESCHEDULE IS NOT A PART
OF MY VOCABULARY, ALL RIGHT?

SAY, BUT YOU KNOW, I DON'T
GET TO THE BEACH THAT OFTEN,

I SUPPOSE I CAN HANG AROUND
JUST A LITTLE LONGER.

-[SCOFFS] GREAT.

-YOU KNOW, I DON'T
BELIEVE I CAUGHT YOUR NAME.

-J.D.

-HEY, ONE OF THEM INITIAL BOYS,
HUH? WHAT'S THAT STAND FOR?

JUVENILE DELINQUENT?

-THAT'S NOT FUNNY, ED.

-ALL RIGHT, ALL
RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

HEY LISTEN, WHEN YOU GET
DONE SWEEPIN' OUT HERE MAYBE

YOU GO OVER AND HOSE DOWN
THE PINTO FOR ME. [CHUCKLES]

-[SIREN WAILING]

-MITCH, HE'S BURNING UP.

A MINUTE AGO, HIS
BODY WAS ICE-COLD.

-WE NEED TO GET AHOLD
OF THIS GUY'S FAMILY.

CHECK THE BEACH
FOR ANY OF HIS

BELONGINGS, SEE IF
WE CAN FIND AN I.D.

-[VICTIM SPEAKING
FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

-I CAN'T TELL WHAT THAT
LANGUAGE IS, CAN YOU?

-YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?
CAN YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?

-MITCH, MITCH, LOOK
OUT. I THINK HE'S GONNA--

-[VICTIM VOMITING]

-MITCH, CALL-CART'S HERE.

AW YUCK!

-[ENGINE REVS]
-[SIREN BLARING]

-JORDAN: WOW,
THAT WAS INTENSE.

-MITCH: THAT'S
PUTTING IT MILDLY.

-HEY, MITCH, LOOK WHAT
NEWMIE JUST TURNED IN.

THINK IT BELONGS TO OUR BOY.

THERE'S A NAME
INSIDE, OMAR OGHOZI.

-MAN: YEAH, THEY
REASSIGNED IT.

-WOMAN: OH, ALL RIGHT.

-HEY.

-APRIL: HOW'S THE VICTIM?

-WELL THEY JUST RUSHED
HIM TO THE HOSPITAL.

-APRIL: WAS HE THAT BAD?

-I'LL LET MITCH TELL YOU.
-[PHONE RINGING]

-APRIL: I WANNA
SHOW YOU SOMETHIN'.

-UH, EXCUSE ME. YOU'RE
NOT GONNA INTRODUCE ME?

GUESS NOT.

-WHO'S THAT?

-SOME MEDICAL SUPPLY
SALESMAN, EVIDENTLY

HE HAS AN APPOINTMENT
WITH MITCH.

-JORDAN: WELL WHAT'S
WITH ALL THESE SHOES?

-THEY'RE MY SAMPLES, I HAVE
A MEETING THIS AFTERNOON

WITH A BIG SHOE COMPANY AND
HOPEFULLY THEY'LL MARKET 'EM.

-JORDAN: YOU MADE THESE?

-I DESIGNED 'EM.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?

-OH APRIL, THESE ARE
GORGEOUS. YOU ARE SO TALENTED.

YOU KNOW, I'D BUY
THEM IN A SECOND.

-[PHONE RINGING]

-YOU KNOW, MAYBE
YOU AND I SHOULD GET

INTO BED HERE ON THIS
LITTLE SHOE DEAL.

-I BEG YOUR PARDON?

-WELL I CARRY A FULL LINE OF
CORN PLANES, BUNION CUSHIONS,

PUMICE STONES, EVERYTHING
FOR THE FEET. [CHUCKLES]

-I DON'T THINK SO.

-HEY, YOU KNOW YOU LOOK
LIKE YOU DO A LOT OF RUNNING.

YOU EVER HAVE YOUR ANKLE
SWELL UP LIKE A BLOW FISH?

'CAUSE I GOT JUST THE THING
FOR YOU HERE, LOOK AT THIS.

LANZ-O-CAIN, THIS IS
ANTI-ITCH, ANTI-INFLAMMATORY,

NON-AEROSOL, [CLEARS THROAT]
YOU WANT ME TO DEMONSTRATE?

HERE, LOOK AT
WHAT ELSE I GOT.

I GOT THIS LITTLE FUNGUS
SPRAY FOR THE TOES.

I COULD JUST,
WHAT? THEY'RE GONE.

[SNIFFS] WHOO.

-DONNA: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

-I'M GETTING READY FOR
BARBARA'S BOUDOIR PHOTO SHOOT.

-YOU REALLY THINK
ONE OF THOSE MODELS

IS GONNA GO FOR A LIFEGUARD?

GIMME A BREAK.

-HEY, YOU NEVER KNOW,
DONNA. MIGHT GET LUCKY.

-WELL JUST IN CASE
YOU DON'T GET LUCKY,

I MAY HAVE AN EXTRA TICKET TO
THE STONES CONCERT TONIGHT.

-J.D.: THE ROLLING STONES?

-V.I.P. PASSES.
-[PHONE RINGING]

-J.D.: YEAH!

-MAN: PHONE
MITCH. SOUNDS IMPORTANT.

-YEAH, I GOT IT. BUCHANNON.

YEAH, I WAS INVOLVED
IN THE RESCUE.

YOU'RE KIDDING ME.
WELL FOR HOW LONG?

-MITCH, WHAT'S GOIN' ON?

-NO, NO, I UNDERSTAND THAT.

WE'LL DO WHATEVER'S
NECESSARY, BUT FOR HOW LONG?

I'LL BE TALKIN'
TO YA, RIGHT?

BYE.

-DONNA: WHO WAS IT?

-THE COUNTY BOARD OF HEALTH.

-WHAT DO THEY WANT?

-THEY JUST PUT US
UNDER QUARANTINE, NOBODY

CAN LEAVE OR
ENTER THE BUILDING.

-YOU MEAN WE'RE
STUCK IN HERE?

-UNTIL WHEN?

-TILL THEY CAN FIGURE
OUT WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG

WITH OMAR OGHOZI.

-[SUSPENSEFUL PIANO MUSIC]

-[ALL YELLING]

-I DON'T KNOW!

SHUT UP!

WE ALL START BECOMING
TOTALLY HYSTERICAL,

THE BOARD OF HEALTH SAID IT'S
STRICTLY A PRECAUTIONARY MOVE.

NOBODY IS IN SERIOUS DANGER.

-WELL WHAT'S WITH OMAR?
WHAT'S HIS CONDITION?

-HE'S IN INTENSIVE CARE,
THE DOCTORS SAID HE'S

A RECENT IMMIGRANT
WHO COULD POSSIBLY

BE CARRYING A
CONTAGIOUS DISEASE.

-OH MY GOD.

-HANG ON A SECOND. IT'S
ONE IN A MILLION SHOT.

THEY JUST WANT TO BE SURE.

-WELL WHAT KIND OF A DISEASE?
-ED: YEAH.

-THEY DON'T KNOW, THEY'RE
RUNNING BLOOD TESTS EVEN AS WE

SPEAK, SHOULD GET
THE RESULTS FROM THE

LAB IN A COUPLE OF HOURS.

-A COUPLE OF HOURS,
MITCH I HAVE TO

BE DOWNTOWN IN 20 MINUTES.

-IN THE MEANTIME,
THEY WANT TO ISOLATE

ANYONE WHO MIGHT'VE
BEEN EXPOSED.

-WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE.

-GET AWAY FROM ME!
WHO IS THIS GUY?

-YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW.

-MITCH, I WASN'T EXPOSED. I
DIDN'T EVEN SEE THE VICTIM.

-DOESN'T MAKE ANY
DIFFERENCE, NOBODY LEAVES HERE

UNTIL THE BOARD OF HEALTH
GIVES US THE GREEN LIGHT.

-I CAN'T MISS THIS MEETING.

-DONNA: WELL WHO
ACTUALLY CAME

INTO CONTACT
WITH THE VICTIM?

-ED: YEAH.

-WELL, MITCH BROUGHT
HIM OUT OF THE WATER

BUT I WAS THE ONE WHO
GAVE HIM MOUTH-TO-MOUTH.

-LIFEGUARD: OH...
-HANG ON A SECOND.

IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU WERE
EXPOSED, OR ANYBODY ELSE.

LOOK, IT'S NO BIG
DEAL, JUST CALM DOWN.

-IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL?

I MEAN WHEN WAS THE LAST
TIME WE GOT QUARANTINED?

-IT'S NOT AS IF WE
HAVE A CHOICE HERE.

IT'S ONLY AN HOUR OR
TWO, SO MAKE THE MOST

OF IT, JUST FIND
SOMETHING TO DO.

-HEY, MITCH, YOU KNOW
SINCE WE GOT A LITTLE TIME

TO KILL HERE I THOUGHT MAYBE
THIS WOULD GIVE YOU A CHANCE

TO GET SOME OF
THE REAL ED SYMES.

-OH, NOT NOW, ED.

-HEY, MITCH, LOOK, THE ONLY
THING KEEPING YOUR LITTLE

BAND-AID DISPENSARY
HERE FROM BECOMIN'

A FIRST-CLASS MEDICAL
FACILITY IS INVENTORY,

AND SEE, THAT'S
WHERE I COME IN.

I SELL EVERYTHING FROM NECK
BRACES TO EVEN HEMORRHOID DONUTS

I GOT COLD-PACKS, HOT-PACKS,
BACKPACKS AND LOOK,

I CAN GET YOU WHATEVER YOU
WANT WHENEVER YOU NEED IT

AT THE UNHEARD OF PRICE
AT 20% BELOW WHOLESALE.

-YOU GOT EAR PLUGS?

-ARE YOU KIDDIN' ME?

EARPLUGS, COME OVER HERE,
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.

TAKE A LOOK AT
THIS, ALL RIGHT.

WELL, ACTUALLY THIS RIGHT HERE,
I GOT NUMBER TWO EARPLUGS,

YOU'RE ABOUT A NUMBER TWO
EAR CANAL, SO I'M GONNA

STICK A B IN THERE,
I COULD STICK AN A IN

BUT I'M GONNA TRY THE
B ON THERE AND, WHAT?

-[MYSTERIOUS CLASSICAL MUSIC]

-[CASE THUDS]

-LIFEGUARD: I THINK WE
SHOULD JUST ALL RELAX.

-LIFEGUARD: YEAH, BUT
WE DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.

-[PHONE RINGING]

-[DOOR CREAKS]

-LIFEGUARD: FULL BOTTLES,
AND WE'RE COVERED ON THE SWABS.

-[SEAGULLS CAWING]

-TECH: BACK INSIDE,
NO ONE'S ALLOWED OUT.

-WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,
NO, I'VE GOT A MEETING.

NO, I'M ALMOST THERE. AH!

-PHOTOGRAPHER: OK LADIES,
LET'S GO, LOOKS GOOD.

-MODEL: [LAUGHS] THANKS.

-[SLOW TRUMPET MUSIC]

-PHOTOGRAPHER: BIG SMILE,
YOU'RE HAVIN' LOTS OF FUN.

ALL RIGHT. RIGHT THIS
WAY, YOU STAY HERE PLEASE.

-THIS IS NEWMAN AT TOWER
SEVEN, THIS PHOTO SHOOT IS JUST

ABOUT READY TO
START, WHERE'S J.D.?

-HE WON'T BE MAKING IT.

-NEWMIE ON PHONE: HOW COME?

-WELL BECAUSE HEADQUARTERS
IS UNDER QUARANTINE.

-QUARANTINE? WHAT HAPPENED?

-IT'S A LONG STORY, THE
BOTTOM LINE IS YOU'RE GONNA

HAVE TO HANDLE THE
PHOTO SHOOT YOURSELF.

TRY TO KEEP YOUR
EYES ON THE WATER.

-NO PROBLEM.
-[PHONE RECEIVER CLANKS]

-[CAUTION TAPE CRINKLING]

-[STAPLE GUN THUMPS]

-[PEOPLE TALKING]

-MAN, OF ALL THE DAYS
TO GET QUARANTINED.

-[EXHALES SHARPLY]

-HEY, WHAT'S GOIN' ON?

-IT'S THE BARBARA
BOUDOIR PHOTO SHOOT.

-BARBARA BOUDOIR? WAIT,
THAT'S MY FAVORITE CATALOG.

WOW, HOLY HOOTERS MAN, WHERE'S
THE ZOOM ON THIS THING?

-GIMME THOSE.

-WHAT'S THE DEAL, MAN?

-IT'S FOR OFFICIAL USE ONLY.

-DIDN'T YOUR MOTHER
EVER TEACH YOU TO SHARE?

-[EXHALES SHARPLY] NOPE.

-WELL, HE-HE-HE-HE.

-♪ SHE'S GOT MOVES BEYOND COMPARE

♪ SHE'S LIKE A LIGHTENING STRIKE WITH
GOLDEN HAIR ♪

♪ GOT A SMILE - MAKES ME WEAK

♪ SHE'S A HOT ROD WOMAN ON A WINNING
STREAK ♪

♪ OH YEAH

♪ YOU KNOW YOU LOOK SO GOOD

♪ OH YEAH

♪ YOUR SHINING LIKE YOU SHOULD

♪ STRAIGHT OUTTA HOLLYWOOD

♪ YEAH YEAH

♪ STRAIGHT OUTTA HOLLYWOOD

♪ YEAH YEAH

♪ YOU'RE THE DREAM

♪ I NEVER WANT TO WAKE FROM

♪ ONE LOOK AT ME AND I'M TAKEN AWAY

♪ OH YEAH

♪ YOU KNOW YOU LOOK SO GOOD

♪ OH OH

♪ YOUR SHINING LIKE YOU SHOULD

♪ STRAIGHT OUTTA HOLLYWOOD

♪ YEAH YEAH

♪ STRAIGHT OUTTA HOLLYWOOD

♪ YEAH YEAH

♪ STRAIGHT OUTTA HOLLYWOOD

♪ YEAH YEAH

♪ STRAIGHT OUTTA HOLLYWOOD

♪ YEAH YEAH

-EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME.

-LIFEGUARD: HEY.
-ED: OH, SORRY.

WHAT'S FOR LUNCH?

-LUNCH?

-YEAH, I'VE BEEN UP SINCE
4:30 AND ALL I'VE HAD

IS A BREAKFAST BURRITO
AND SOME PEANUTS.

UH, I'M KINDA
RUNNIN' ON FUMES.

-MAYBE IF YOU FEED
HIM, HE'LL SHUT UP.

-OK, WELL WE'VE
GOT CEREAL, MUFFINS,

RICE CAKES, BALANCE BARS--

-I WAS KINDA HOPIN'
FOR A PASTRAMI SANDWICH.

-OK, WELL WHY DON'T
YOU JUST TRY THIS.

MAYBE THIS MIGHT
TIDE YOU OVER.

-OH GOOD. AH, LOOK AT THIS.
[WRAPPER CRINKLES]

BALANCE BAR.

MM, MAN THIS IS GOOD.

-[WRAPPERS CRINKLING]

TASTES LIKE MY MOTHER'S
PANCAKES. NOW THESE ARE GOOD.

I'M GONNA TAKE A FEW OF
THESE. NOBODY WILL EVEN SEE.

-[PHONE RINGING]

-ANOTHER TWO TO FOUR HOURS?
YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING.

-[SCOFFS] TWO TO FOUR HOURS.

-NO WAY, I'M NOT
MISSING THE STONES.

-I REALIZE YOU'VE GOTTA
BE ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN,

JUST LET ME KNOW THE MINUTE
THE TEST RESULTS COME IN.

I'M NOT SURE I CAN BE
COOPED UP HERE MUCH LONGER.

-MITCH, THIS IS
CRAZY. WHAT'S GOING ON?

-THE RESULTS OF THE FIRST
TEST ARE INCONCLUSIVE,

THEY'RE JUST RUNNING
A SECOND SET OF TESTS.

-DONNA: OH GOD,
WHAT ARE THEY DOING?

-MITCH: THEY SAID THEY
DON'T WANNA SEND A DOCTOR IN

SO THEY ARE MONITORING
US BY VIDEO.

-J.D.: WHY?

-MITCH: TO SEE IF
ANYONE IS STARTING TO

SHOW SYMPTOMS SIMILAR
TO THE VICTIM'S.

-MITCH, THIS IS REALLY
SERIOUS, ISN'T IT?

-THEY TRACKED OMAR'S
FAMILY DOWN, HE'S FROM THE

OGADEN REGION IN
NORTHEAST AFRICA.

-NORTHERN AFRICA,
THAT'S WHERE THEY

HAD THE OUTBREAK
OF THE EBOLA VIRUS.

-YES, BUT THIS IS
NOT THE EBOLA VIRUS.

-APRIL: WELL WHAT IS IT?

-THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.
THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.

-WELL MAYBE THEY
JUST WON'T TELL.

MAYBE IT'S THE BUBONIC PLAGUE
OR MAYBE THEY'RE FLESH-EATING

BACTERIA OR SOMETHING,
OR MAYBE IT'S...

OH MAN, I KNEW I SHOULD-A
STAYED IN PHONE SALES.

-HEY, MITCH, BETTER
COME AND CHECK THIS OUT.

LOOK AT THE SIZE
OF THOSE WAVES.

HOPE NEWMIE CAN
SEE THOSE SWELLS.

-PHOTOGRAPHER:
YEAH, THAT'S PERFECT.

ALL RIGHT GIRLS, EXCELLENT.
-[MODELS LAUGHING]

-[INTENSE CLASSICAL MUSIC]

-PHOTOGRAPHER: LITTLE
MORE SMILE.

FANTASTIC. EXCELLENT, GIRLS.

-HEY, YOU GUYS, WE
GOT LARGE SURF COMING

IN AND I NEED
YOU OFF THE JETTY.

OFF THE JETTY! NOW!

-[MODELS SCREAM]

-WOMAN: THEY FELL OFF THE
ROCKS! DID YOU SEE THAT?

-[MODELS GASPING]

[SPLASHING AND GROANING]

-MODEL: HELP! HELP US!

-MODEL: HELP! OVER HERE!

-NEWMIE: STAY CALM.
I GOT YOU, IT'S OK.

STAY AWAY FROM THE
ROCKS. HOLD ON TO MY CAN.

-MODEL: CAN YOU
CARRY ALL OF US IN?

-NEWMIE: I MEAN
MY RESCUE CAN.

-[MODELS GASPING]

-WHOA.

-NEWMIE: HOLD ONTO MY
ARM. WALK SLOWLY. THAT'S IT.

-MAN, CAN YOU BELIEVE
THIS GUY'S LUCK?

-[MODELS COUGHING]

-YEAH, IT'S ALWAYS
THE BALD GUYS.

-MODEL: THERE HE IS!
GOOD THING YOU WERE THERE.

-NEWMIE: HEY,
JUST DOIN' MY JOB.

-[MODELS LAUGHING]

I APPRECIATE YOUR GRATITUDE.

-I THINK I'M GONNA BE SICK.

-SICK? HEY, HE'S GOT IT!

DID YOU HEAR WHAT HE
SAID? HE'S GONNA BE SICK.

-NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT
I MEANT YOU IDIOT.

NO WAY, I WAS TALKIN' ABOUT
NEWMIE AND THE MODELS.

I'M NOT SICK.

-HEY, HEY, HERE.
VIDEOTAPE HIM. HE'S SICK!

-YOU'RE GETTING ON MY NERVES!

-HEY LOOK, HE'S
FOAMIN' AT THE MOUTH.

HE'S GOT HOOF AND
MOUTH DISEASE.

-SHUT UP ALREADY!

-ED: OR MAD COW!

-HEY, HEY, TAKE IT EASY.

HE'S NOT WORTH IT.

-I WON'T FORGET THAT REMARK.

-[MODELS LAUGHING]
-NEWMIE: IT'S OK.

REALLY, THAT'S NICE. THANK
YOU. OH REALLY, COME ON.

PLEASE, I'M THE ONLY
LIFEGUARD ON DUTY.

THOUGH I WILL BE GETTING OFF
SOON, ANY OF YOU GIRLS HUNGRY?

-MODEL: YEAH. [LAUGHS]

-YEAH? ALL RIGHT.
IT'S JUST THE WAY I AM.

I GUESS I CAN'T HELP IT.

-I MEAN, THAT
SHOULD BE ME. MAN.

-♪ WOULD A, SHOULD A, COULD A, OHHH ♪

♪ IT SHOULD'VE BEEN YOU

♪ ALL TANNED UP

♪ YOU'RE SO STRONG

♪ SO MAN UP

♪ AND GO LONG

♪ WOULD A, SHOULD A, COULD A, OHHH

♪ IT COULD'VE BEEN YOU ♪

♪ WOULD A, SHOULD A, COULD A, OHHH

♪ IT SHOULD'VE BEEN YOU

♪ WOULD A, SHOULD A, COULD A, OHHH

♪ IT COULD'VE BEEN YOU

♪ WOULD A, SHOULD A, COULD A, OHHH

♪ IT SHOULD'VE BEEN YOU

♪ WOULD A, SHOULD A, COULD A, OHHH

♪ IT COULD'VE BEEN YOU ♪

-HI, THIS IS APRIL
GIMINSKY AGAIN.

WHERE AM I?

STUCK IN TRAFFIC.

YES, I'VE BEEN STUCK IN
TRAFFIC ALL AFTERNOON.

I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T
MEAN TO YELL.

-[LIFEGUARDS CHATTING]

-GREEN NAIL POLISH?

-IT'S MICK'S FAVORITE COLOR.

-ARE WE GONNA MAKE
THIS CONCERT OR WHAT?

-OH GOD, I FORGOT TO
TELL YOU NEELY CALLED.

-BABY'S NOT SICK
SO UM, I GUESS

I DON'T HAVE THAT EXTRA
TICKET AFTER ALL. SORRY.

GUESS THIS HASN'T BEEN A
VERY GOOD DAY FOR YOU, HUH?

-CAN'T SEE HOW IT
COULD GET ANY WORSE.

-[KNOCKING]

-HEY, J.D.!

-WHAT? WHAT?

-WHAT'S THE NAME OF THAT NEW
FISH RESTAURANT IN THE MARINA?

-THE BLACK WHALE.

-THAT'S RIGHT.

HEY, LISTEN, IF YOU GET
OUT OF HERE IN TIME,

WHY DON'T YOU COME JOIN US?

-GET OUT OF MY SIGHT,
NEWMIE, WILL YA?

-SEE YA.
-MODEL: BYE.

-ALL RIGHT, LISTEN
UP EVERYBODY, I JUST
GOT OFF THE PHONE

WITH THE BOARD OF HEALTH,
THEY ARE VIRTUALLY

CERTAIN THE VICTIM
HAS MENINGITIS.

-LIFEGUARD:
MENINGITIS? WHAT'S THAT?

-DONNA: CAN'T THAT BE FATAL?

-YES, IF IT'S VIRAL MENINGITIS
BUT THEY'RE PRETTY SURE IT'S

BACTERIAL MENINGITIS
WHICH IS NOT

CONTAGIOUS AND
EASILY TREATABLE.

-WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"PRETTY SURE?"

-THEY HAVE TO RUN
ONE MORE TEST

WHICH TAKES ABOUT 10 MINUTES.

-HEY, 10 MINUTES! WE'RE
OUTTA HERE IN 10 MINUTES!

-UH, HANG ON! WE'RE NOT.

-YOU JUST SAID THE TEST
WOULD TAKE 10 MINUTES.

-I KNOW, BUT THE LAB
IS CLOSED AND DOESN'T

OPEN UP UNTIL
TOMORROW MORNING.

-YOU MEAN WE HAVE TO
SPEND THE NIGHT HERE?

-I'M AFRAID SO.

-IT'S GONNA BE A
NIGHT TO REMEMBER.

-[SHOWER WATER RUNNING]

OH DEAR LORD. DEAR GOD,
LET ME LIVE THROUGH THIS.

OH MY GOD.

-[LIFEGUARDS TALKING]

HELLO LADIES!

-[LADIES SCREAMING]

-YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WEAR A
BATHING SUIT IN THE SHOWER!

-NOBODY TOLD ME THAT!

-[ALL CHATTERING]

-WHAT SONG DO YOU
THINK THEY OPENED WITH?

-"GIMME SHELTER."
NO, "START ME UP."

-MITCH: NO,
"JUMPIN' JACK FLASH."

THEY ALWAYS OPEN WITH
"JUMPIN' JACK FLASH."

-WHO'D NEELY WIND
UP GOING WITH?

-UH, CODY.

-WHO'S WATCHING ASHLEY?

-HOBIE.

-YOU KNOW YOU GUYS ARE LIKE
THIS FAMILY ALL OF A SUDDEN.

IT'S REALLY COOL.

-WELL, I SURE DO LIKE
THESE ACCOMMODATIONS HERE.

YEAH, VERY POSH.

YOU COULD'VE PUT A LITTLE MINT
THERE ON THE PILLOW. [LAUGHS]

HEY, YOU'RE NOT GONNA SLEEP
IN YOUR SHOES THERE, ARE YOU?

-MITCH: WHAT?

-UH, THAT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA,
NO. YOUR FEET GOTTA BREATHE.

SEE YOU SLEEP LIKE THAT
AND THE FUNGUS WILL SET IN

ON YOUR TOES AND THE NEXT
THING YOU KNOW, YOU GOT THE--

-GO TO BED, ED!

-ALL RIGHT [CLEARS
THROAT]. ALL RIGHT.

HEY, ANYBODY KNOW
ANY BEDTIME STORIES?

WE GOT ANY OLD SCOUTS HERE?

YEAH, I KNOW ONE ABOUT THIS
MONKEY'S PAW, THIS LITTLE--

-GO TO BED, ED!

-ED: AW, I SAID I WILL.

-I CAN'T BELIEVE I
BLEW MY BIG CHANCE.

I'LL NEVER HAVE ANOTHER
MEETING, AT LEAST

NOT WITH
CALIFORNIA LIFESTYLES.

-NO, APRIL. WILL YOU
JUST STOP WHINING?

YOU ARE SUCH A
TALENTED DESIGNER.

IF THEY DON'T TAKE YOU, I
GUARANTEE YOU SOMEONE ELSE WILL.

-YOU REALLY THINK SO?

-YES.

-UH, NO.

ACTUALLY, SHE'S JUST TRYIN'
TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.

I MEAN, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
A HARD JOB GIVIN' SOME

OF THOSE AWAY, I MEAN
THOSE COLORS AND STUFF.

WHAT WERE YOU
THINKIN', REALLY?

-WELL, ED, DID
YOU SEE THIS ONE?

-WHAT? NO, HEY
WAIT! COME ON!

-OR HOW ABOUT THIS ONE?

-ED: HEY NO,
JUST A MINUTE. HEY!

-[ALL GRUMBLING]

ED: MITCH, TELL
THEM TO STOP!

-MITCH: I'M OUTTA HERE.

-ED: WAIT, WOULD
YOU STOP THAT?

MITCH!

-♪ YOU LIKE THE WAY I MOVE

♪ YOU LIKE THE WAY I DANCE

♪ AROUND YOU BABY OH

♪ YOU DON'T STAND A CHANCE

♪ SO SHOW ME WHAT YOU'VE GOT

♪ I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT YOU NEED

♪ COME ON HONEY, I WILL BE YOUR FANTASY

♪ COME ON COME ON OVER HERE

♪ OH YEAH

♪ YOU BE MY SUGAR BEAR

♪ I'LL BE YOUR EVERYTHING

♪ I LOVE A STRONG MAN WHO'S NOT AFRAID TO
LIVE THE DREAM ♪

♪ MY HEART IS BEATING FAST

♪ YOU MAKE ME WANNA DANCE

♪ SO TELL ME HONEY DO YOU WANNA TAKE A
CHANCE ♪

♪ COME ON COME ON OVER HERE♪

-[MODELS LAUGHING]

♪ I'LL BE YOUR REAL LIFE FANTASY

♪ COME ON AND LIVE THE DREAM TOUCH ME I'M
REAL ♪

♪ I'LL GIVE YOU A THRILL

♪ I'LL BE YOUR REAL LIFE FANTASY

♪ I'LL GIVE YOU EVERYTHING, LIVING IT UP

♪ AND LIVING THE DREAM

♪ I'LL BE YOUR REAL LIFE FANTASY

♪ COME ON AND LIVE THE DREAM TOUCH ME I'M
REAL ♪

♪ I'LL GIVE YOU A THRILL

♪ I'LL BE YOUR REAL LIFE FANTASY

♪ I'LL GIVE YOU EVERYTHING

♪ LIVING IT UP AND LIVING THE DREAM

♪ YEAH YEAH YEAH

♪ JUST LIVING THE DREAM

♪ YEAH YEAH YEAH

♪ JUST LIVING THE DREAM

♪ YEAH YEAH YEAH

♪ JUST LIVING THE DREAM

♪ I'LL BE YOUR REAL LIFE FANTASY ♪

♪ YEAH YEAH YEAH

♪ JUST LIVING THE DREAM

♪ YEAH YEAH YEAH

♪ JUST LIVING THE DREAM

-[ED SNORING]

[SNORING]

-NEWMIE, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING HERE?

YOU'RE GONNA BE EXPOSED.

-OH, THE QUARANTINE WAS
LIFTED TWO HOURS AGO.

-WHAT?

-OH YEAH. WELL, TURNED
OUT, IT WASN'T MENINGITIS.

IT WAS JUST A ALLERGIC
REACTION, SOMETHIN' HE ATE.

YOU GUYS ARE ALL FINE.

-AND YOU WAITED
THIS LONG TO TELL US?

-WELL, YOU LOOKED
ALL SO PEACEFUL,

I DIDN'T WANNA WAKE YOU.

-PEACEFUL?

-[ALL YELLING]

-APRIL: THANK GOODNESS,
I CAN GO TO THE MEETING.

-J.D.: SEE YA.

-JORDAN: IT FEELS
SO GOOD TO BE OUTSIDE.

-YOU OUTTA HERE?

-YEAH, HERE ARE THE TOWER
ASSIGNMENTS FOR TODAY

AND TOMORROW, BELIEVE ME, I
NEED AN EXTRA DAY TO RECOVER.

-RECOVER FROM WHAT?

-FROM ED.

-[LAUGHS] RIGHT.

LISTEN BEFORE YOU GO, I
WANT YOU TO MEET A COUPLE

OF OUR EXCHANGE
LIFEGUARDS FROM ENGLAND.

LISA AND BRENDAN.

-MITCH: WELCOME TO BAYWATCH.

-HI, IT'S NICE TO MEET
YOU. IT'S SO GORGEOUS HERE.

-WELL THANKS.

-HEY MAN. HOW ARE
YOU DOING, MATE?

-HI, ENJOY YOURSELVES.
SHOW 'EM AROUND HUH?

-LINDA: THANK
YOU, SEE YOU LATER.

-MITCH?
-MITCH: YEAH?

-ED: HANG ON JUST A SECOND.

LISTEN, MAYBE I'M NOT
CUT OUT TO BE A SALESMAN,

I REALLY DON'T THINK I AM, BUT
I COULD BE A LIFEGUARD, SEE?

I'M GOOD IN THE WATER
AND I KNOW YOU GIVE

THOSE TESTS EVERY YEAR,
AND THEN I COULD--

-HOLD IT! HOLD IT!
HOLD IT! NO, NO, NO!

OK, OK, I WILL TAKE A CASE
OF ANTISEPTIC SPRAY AND UH--

-RUBBER GLOVES?
-MITCH: RUBBER GLOVES AND--

-RESUSCITATORS?

-MITCH: A DOZEN RESUSCITATORS!

NEWMIE WILL TAKE YOUR ORDER.

-ED: WHERE'S NEWMIE?

-HERE I COME!
-ED: OK.

HEY NEWMIE. NEWMIE!
HEY, NEWMIE!

NEWMIE! NEWMIE!

-[END THEME PLAYS]