Baywatch (1989–2001): Season 7, Episode 1 - Shark Fever - full transcript
Logan, wanting a new course in life than being a lifeguard, decides to write and direct a low-budget action flick at the beach using a drugged shark as the villain, with Caroline as the star. But things take a unexpected turn when a very great white shark appears and attacks Cody and a number of other swimmers in the area as Mitch and the rest of the squad try to hunt it down... 'Jaws' style, while Logan sees an opportunity to grab for his movie. Meanwhile, a new lifeguard, Donna Marco (the former owner of the "Nights" club on 'Baywatch Nights') arrives for a lifeguard job at Baywatch and she and Neely don't hit it off not only because of Donna also being a 'bad girl', but because of Donna being assigned to the same tower with a lifeguard boyfriend of Neely's.
-[THEME MUSIC]
-♪ SOME PEOPLE STAND
IN THE DARKNESS ♪
♪ AFRAID TO STEP
INTO THE LIGHT ♪
♪ SOME PEOPLE NEED
TO HAVE SOMEBODY ♪
♪ WHEN THE EDGE OF
SURRENDER'S IN SIGHT ♪
♪ DON'T YOU WORRY ♪
♪ IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT
♪ 'CAUSE I'M ALWAYS READY
♪ I WON'T LET YOU
OUT OF MY SIGHT ♪
♪ I'LL BE READY
I'LL BE READY ♪
♪ NEVER YOU FEAR
NO, DON'T YOU FEAR ♪
♪ I'LL BE READY ♪
♪ FOREVER AND ALWAYS ♪
♪ I'M ALWAYS HERE
♪ 'CAUSE I'M ALWAYS READY
♪ I WON'T LET YOU
OUT OF MY SIGHT ♪
♪ I'LL BE READY
I'LL BE READY ♪
♪ NEVER YOU FEAR
NO, DON'T YOU FEAR ♪
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ FOREVER AND ALWAYS
♪ I'M ALWAYS HERE
-[GENTLE MUSIC]
-HEY.
LET'S GO UP TO THE TOWER.
-CAROLINE: WHAT
DID YOU HAVE IN MIND?
-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
-GOING FOR A SWIM.
-A SWIM?
-CAROLINE: HAVEN'T YOU EVER
GONE SKINNY DIPPING BEFORE?
-HEY, WAIT UP.
COME ON.
HEY, BEAUTIFUL, WAIT FOR ME.
HANG ON.
-[GIGGLING]
-I'M COMING.
-[GENTLE MUSIC]
-HOLD ON.
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-[GASPING]
-CUT, CUT, CUT.
NEWMIE.
WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON?
-THIS LEVER'S STUCK.
-THE LEVER'S STUCK.
-HEY, DON'T BLAME
ME, I'M NOT THE ONE
THAT DESIGNED THIS
PIECE OF JUNK.
-IT'S A PERFECTLY
SERVICEABLE PROSTHETIC.
THERE.
-OH, NOW IT WORKS.
-EXCUSE ME, I'M
SORRY, I'M FREEZING.
CAN I HAVE A TOWEL?
-OKAY, LET'S TAKE IT FROM
THE POINT OF THE ATTACK.
-LOGAN, NO WAY, I CAN'T.
I CAN'T. I CAN'T DO THIS
SCENE WITH THIS CHEESY SHARK.
IT COMPLETELY UNDERMINES
MY CHARACTER'S CREDIBILITY.
-TRUST ME, CAROLINE, IT'S
GONNA LOOK GREAT ON FILM.
-TRUST YOU? THAT'S FUNNY.
I'M BEGINNING TO THINK THE
ONLY REASON YOU HIRED ME
FOR THIS PART WAS
TO HUMILIATE ME.
-I HIRED YOU FOR
THIS PART BECAUSE
I BELIEVE IN YOU AS AN ACTRESS,
AND I VALUE YOUR OPINION,
AND WE NEED TO GET
THE SHOT BEFORE DARK.
PLEASE.
-FINE.
-THANK YOU.
HOW'S THE DAY FOR NIGHT WORKING?
-ABOUT AS WELL AS THE PROPS.
-WELL DOES IT BOTHER
ANYBODY ELSE THAT THIS SCENE
IS A COMPLETE RIPOFF FROM JAWS?
-OH, YOU NOTICED THAT TOO HUH?
-I PREFER TO CALL IT PAYING
HOMAGE TO STEVEN SPIELBERG.
-WELL CALL IT
WHATEVER YOU WANT,
IF ANYBODY SEES
THIS STUPID MOVIE
THEY'RE GONNA THINK IT'S A JOKE.
I MEAN NOBODY'S GONNA BUY
THIS THING AS A REAL SHARK.
-I WONDER IF
BRUCE IS AVAILABLE.
-WHO'S BRUCE?
-THE MECHANICAL SHARK
SPIELBERG USED IN JAWS.
-WELL, YOU STOLE THE PLOT,
YOU STOLE THE DIALOGUE,
YOU MIGHT AS WELL
STEAL THE PROPS.
-[FAKE LAUGHING] WILL
YOU PLEASE GET YOUR MARK?
-FINE, BUT IT'S NOT GONNA WORK.
-I'LL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT.
-SHE'S RIGHT, THERE'S NO WAY
THAT SHARK IS GONNA LOOK REAL.
I DON'T CARE HOW MANY
ANGLES YOU SHOOT IT FROM.
-THERE'S ALSO NO WAY WE CAN
AFFORD A MECHANICAL SHARK.
OR YOUR WAGE, SO WE'RE
JUST GONNA HAVE TO
MAKE DUE WITH THIS SHARK.
-YOU'RE THE DIRECTOR.
-OF COURSE.
-I JUST HATE TO SEE A PROMISING
CAREER GO DOWN IN FLAMES.
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO WAIT
FOR THAT FISHING BOAT
TO MOVE OUT OF FRAME.
-I WANNA TALK TO THE
CAPTAIN OF THAT BOAT.
-OKAY, LISTEN UP.
GOOD MORNING.
-MORNING.
[CROSSTALK]
-ALL RIGHT, TOWER ASSIGNMENTS
SOUTH OF THE PIER,
WE GOT CHRIS, 18, JOHN
AT 20, ANTHONY AT 22,
AND NEELY AT THE
FAMOUS TOWER 24.
-THANK YOU.
-24? THERE'S NEVER
ANYBODY ON THAT BEACH.
YOU KNOW, MITCH, WHY DOES SHE
ALWAYS GET THE
CUSHY ASSIGNMENTS?
-YOU WANNA TALK CUSHY BABY?
-YOU KNOW THAT COULD
BE INTERPRETED AS
SEXUAL HARASSMENT.
-YEAH, YOU WISH.
-ALL RIGHT, BEFORE WE
GO OUR SEPARATE WAYS,
I WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE THE
NEWEST MEMBER OF OUR RANKS.
-PLEASE WELCOME DONNA MARCO.
-HI. HI.
-WELCOME ABOARD, DONNA.
-DONNA WILL BE FILLING IN FOR
CAROLINE WHILE SHE COMPLETES
PRINCIPAL PHOTOGRAPHY
ON THE EPIC SHARK FEVER.
DONNA WILL BE AT
TOWER 22 WITH ANTHONY.
ALL RIGHT, ANY
QUESTIONS, COMMENTS?
-COMPLAINTS?
-UM YEAH, MITCH, WHAT'S
THE CAPITAL OF VERMONT?
-VERY FUNNY,
MONTPELIER WISE GUY.
-PLEASE.
-ALL RIGHT, HIT THE SAND,
KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE
WATER AT ALL TIMES.
-NEELY: MITCH, CAN I
SPEAK TO YOUR FOR A SECOND?
-YEAH SURE, WHAT'S UP?
-ISN'T DONNA THE
OWNER OF NIGHT'S?
-ACTUALLY SHE'S
THE FORMER OWNER.
SHE WANTED TO BE A LIFEGUARD
SO SHE STARTED TRAINING,
SHE TRIED OUT FOR ROOKIE SCHOOL,
-AND FINISHED SECOND
IN HER CLASS.
-OH, I'M SURE SHE'S
AN EXCELLENT LIFEGUARD,
BUT MY QUESTION IS, DOES
SHE HAVE A BOYFRIEND?
-NOT THAT I'M AWARE OF, WHY?
-WELL, THIS ISN'T FOR
PUBLIC CONSUMPTION,
BUT ANTHONY AND I HAVE BEEN...
-SEEING EACH OTHER FOR
THE LAST COUPLE OF WEEKS.
-HOW DID YOU KNOW?
-NEELY, IT'S MY JOB TO KNOW
WHAT GOES ON AROUND HERE.
-WELL ANYWAY, AS
YOU PROBABLY KNOW,
IT'S BEEN GOING VERY WELL AND
WE SEEM TO HAVE QUITE A BIT
IN COMMON AND I THINK
WE'RE READY TO TAKE IT--
-TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL.
-EXACTLY!
WHICH IS WHY I WAS
HOPING YOU COULD
FIND ANOTHER PARTNER FOR DONNA.
I MEAN LET'S FACE IT, MITCH,
ANTHONY'S NOT EXACTLY
THE MOST EXPERIENCED
LIFEGUARD WE HAVE AROUND HERE
AND SHE'D BE BETTER
OFF WITH SOMEONE
WITH A LITTLE MORE
SEASONING, WOULDN'T SHE?
-I'LL CHECK THE SCHEDULE.
-THANKS, MITCH, I OWE YOU ONE.
-[GENTLE MUSIC]
♪ OOH OOH OOH OOH
♪ AYE AYE AYE AYE
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON
♪ GO AHEAD AND PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON PUT YOUR HANDS ON
♪ FEEL FREE BOY
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME
♪ FEEL IT BURNING I LIKE THAT
♪ SO DEEP IN NO WAY BACK
♪ FEEL YOU SWEATING IT'S SO HOT
♪ IM READY TAKE YOUR BEST SHOT
♪ SO SMOOTH WHAT YOUR DOING...
♪ NO RULES WHAT YA PROVING
♪ JUST CRUISE KEEP IT MOVING
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON
♪ GO AHEAD AND PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON
♪ FEEL FREE BOY
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON
♪ KEEP IT MOVING OUR OWN TRACK
♪ HEARTS RACING THERE'S NO SLACK
♪ I KNOW IT'S... WHAT YOU DO
♪ YOU GOT THIS FIREPROOF
♪ SO SMOOTH WHAT YOUR DOING
♪ NO RULES WHAT YA PROVING
♪ JUST CRUISE KEEP IT MOVING
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON
♪ GO AHEAD AND PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON
♪ FEEL FREE BOY
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON
♪ GO AHEAD AND PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON
♪ FEEL FREE BOY
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME
-CAN I ASK YOU A
PERSONAL QUESTION?
HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND, HUH?
I'M NOT GETTING IN THAT WATER
WITH A LIVE TIGER SHARK.
-IT'S A LIVE
HARMLESS TIGER SHARK.
-I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF
A HARMLESS SHARK, LOGAN.
-WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU HEARD OF SOMEBODY
BEING ATTACKED BY A TIGER SHARK?
THE CHANCES OF THAT
HAPPENING ARE NIL.
ACTUALLY LESS THAN NIL.
YOU KNOW WHAT, AS
A MATTER OF FACT,
THIS PARTICULAR TIGER
SHARK IS SEDATED.
-HE DOESN'T EVEN
KNOW WHERE IT IS.
-OH THAT'S REALLY FUNNY.
AND HOW DOES ONE GO ABOUT
SEDATING A SHARK, HUH?
-THE SHARK IS GONNA BE
ATTACHED TO A SPECIALLY DESIGNED
MONOFILAMENT LINE AT ALL TIMES.
YOU'LL BE IN NO DANGER
WHATSOEVER, YOU HAVE MY WORD.
-WE ALL KNOW WHAT THAT'S WORTH.
-ALL I NEED IS A
FIVE SECOND SHOT
OF YOU AND THE LIVE TIGER SHARK.
THE REST I CAN DO WITH
THE PLASTIC SHARK.
-YOU SURE YOU ONLY NEED ME
IN THE WATER FOR FIVE SECONDS?
-IF THAT, ALL I NEED
IS A QUICK SWIM BY.
-I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M LETTING
YOU TALK ME INTO THIS.
OUGHT TO HAVE MY HEAD EXAMINED.
-PLENTY OF TIME
FOR THAT MY DEAR,
ONCE WE BECOME RICH AND FAMOUS.
-YEAH, LIKE THIS MOVIE'S
GONNA MAKE ME RICH AND FAMOUS.
-YOU NEVER KNOW, WE'RE
ABOUT TO GET THE SHOT
THAT EVEN SPIELBERG DIDN'T GET.
OKAY EVERYBODY, POSITIONS!
YOU'RE GONNA BE GREAT.
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-OKAY, YOU READY?
POSITION ONE.
-HOLD IT!
HOLD IT!
-AND, ACTION.
-HOLD IT, HOLD IT,
GET OUT OF THE WATER!
GET OUT OF THE
WATER, SHE'S LOOSE!
-[SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING]
-OH NO, I'M OUT OF HERE.
-CAROLINE.
-GET OFF OF ME!
-CAROLINE, I'M SORRY.
-YOU'RE SORRY,
LOGAN, YOU'RE INSANE!
-MITCH: WHAT'S GOING ON?
-WHY DON'T YOU ASK
MR. DIRECTOR HERE,
HE LET A SHARK LOOSE IN THE BAY.
-YOU WHAT?
-IT WAS A TINY TIGER SHARK,
IT WOULDN'T HURT ANYBODY.
-WHAT ARE YOU STUPID?
-IT WAS MEANT TO
BE TIED TO A LINE.
-LOGAN, YOU'RE A
LIFEGUARD FOR GOD SAKES.
-AT THE MOMENT MITCH,
I'M A FILMMAKER.
-THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN
ENDANGER PEOPLE'S LIVES.
IT'S TIME YOU AND I SIT DOWN
AND HAVE A LITTLE TALK ABOUT
YOUR PRIORITIES, REASSESSMENT'S
AT THE TOP OF THE LIST.
-MITCH, THERE ARE
SCORES OF TIGER SHARKS
FEEDING 100 YARDS
OFFSHORE, WHAT DIFFERENCE
IS ONE MORE LITTLE
TIGER SHARK GONNA MAKE?
-HEY YOU GUYS,
YOU'RE IN A RIP TIDE.
THAT'S WHY THERE'S NO WAVES.
LET'S GO, COME ON IN.
COME ON, COME ON, LET'S GO.
I KNOW, I KNOW.
-[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
-[SCREAM]
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-TELLING YOU, YOU PULL
A STUNT LIKE THAT AGAIN,
I'LL HAVE YOUR
FILM PERMIT PULLED
BEFORE YOU CAN SAY
LIGHTS, CAMERA, AND ACTION.
HEY NEWMIE, SHOW BIZ HUH?
-NEWMIE: YEAH RIGHT.
-I PROMISE, MITCH,
NO MORE SINGUM AVERTING.
I'VE GOT A LOT RIDING ON THIS,
EVERYTHING I COULD BEG, BORROW,
AND PUT ON MY CREDIT CARDS.
-RADIO: ZERO-ONE-TWO-NINE-FIVE.
-BUT YOU'RE RIGHT
THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
-MITCH: TWO-NINE-FIVE,
TWO-OH-ONE, SEND YOUR TRAFFIC.
-CAROLINE, WAIT!
-RADIO: YEAH, MITCH, CODY
JUST REPORTED AN INCIDENT--
-YOU CAN'T WALK OUT ON ME.
-WATCH ME.
-DO YOU REALIZE
HOW MANY ACTRESSES
WOULD KILL FOR THIS PART?
YOU COULD'VE BEEN A STAR.
-LOGAN, GET IN!
THERE'S BEEN A SHARK ATTACK.
-[SIRENS]
-OKAY, LET'S NOT JUMP
TO CONCLUSIONS, MITCH,
I WAS FILMING TWO
MILES OFF THE COAST.
-YEAH, WELL SHARKS CAN TRAVEL
20 MILES AN HOUR, FOWLER.
-AND YOU COULD'VE
DONE THIS ON THE ROCKS.
-YEAH RIGHT, THOSE DON'T
LOOK LIKE TEETH MARKS TO YOU?
-ALL RIGHT, LET'S
JUST GET THIS OVER TO
THE MARINE BIOLOGY UNIT AT UCLA.
THEY'LL TELL US WHAT
KIND OF SHARK IT WAS.
-DO YOU KNOW WHAT
THE ODDS ARE THAT THIS
WAS THE SAME SHARK
THAT I WAS USING?
-ALL I KNOW IS THAT YOUR
CAREER IS DANGLING BY A THREAD,
AS A DIRECTOR AND A LIFEGUARD.
-I KNOW YOU'RE ALL AWARE
OF THE SHARK STORIES
FLOATING AROUND HEADQUARTERS,
BUT AT THIS TIME WE HAVE
NO DEFINITIVE PROOF THAT ANYONE
HAS ACTUALLY BEEN ATTACKED.
-SO, LET'S NOT LOSE FOCUS
ON THE EVERYDAY ASPECTS
OF THE JOB, OKAY?
ALL RIGHT, HAVE A GOOD
ONE AND WATCH YOUR FEET,
THERE'S A LOT OF
STINGRAYS OUT THERE.
YOU, KEEP YOUR
EYES ON THE WATER.
-I WILL, THANKS, MITCH.
-DID YOU STOP WORKING
OUT COMPLETELY?
NEWMIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I THOUGHT YOU WERE STILL
WORKING ON LOGAN'S MOVIE?
-GOT LAID OFF.
-AWW.
-YEAH, HE'S TAPPED OUT,
THEY'RE GONNA BE
SHUTTING DOWN PRODUCTION.
-WELL, THAT'S SHOW BIZ, MAN.
ANYTHING I CAN DO TO HELP?
-ANYONE WORKING GIDGEE GULCH?
-YOU ARE.
-YEAH, THANKS.
-I THOUGHT WE HAD AN AGREEMENT,
YOU'VE STILL GOT ANTHONY
AND DONNA SHARING A TOWER.
-OH MY GOD, I THOUGHT
I MADE THAT CHANGE.
-NO, YOU DIDN'T.
-WELL I WAS GONNA PUT
HER WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
-LIKE NEWMIE, NEWMIE
WOULD BE PERFECT.
NOW HE COULD TEACH HER A THING
OR TWO ABOUT LIFEGUARDING.
-SO COULD YOU.
-WHAT?
-TOWER 12 WITH DONNA.
-MITCH, DON'T DO THIS TO ME.
-OH, IT'LL BE GOOD FOR YOU.
YOU KNOW, KINDA TAKE
HER UNDER YOUR WING.
-MITCH, MITCH.
-YEAH, WHAT'S UP?
-JUST GOT THE RESULTS
BACK FROM UCLA.
THEY MEASURED THE BITE
RADIUS AND GUESS WHAT?
LOGAN'S OFF THE HOOK.
WASN'T A TIGER SHARK
THAT ATE MY BOARD,
IT WAS A GREAT WHITE.
-[ROCK MUSIC]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-CUT, CUT, CUT!
-DID YOU GET IT?
-THAT WAS GREAT.
-OKAY, PRINT THAT ONE.
THAT'S TEN MINUTES
FOR LUNCH EVERYBODY.
-NOT WHILE WE'VE GOT THE LIGHT,
LET'S MOVE ON TO SCENE 16.
-DID YOU GET IT?
-YEAH, I GOT IT.
SO, WAS THAT YOUR
ALFRED HITCHCOCK CAMEO?
-NO I CAN'T AFFORD TO
PAY MORE CAST CALLS.
-YEAH, SPEAKING OF GETTING PAID.
-UH OH.
-[SIRENS]
-LOOKS LIKE A BUST.
-HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
-WE'RE SHUTTING YOU DOWN.
-SHUTTING US DOWN?
WHAT'D THEY SAY AT UCLA?
-IT WASN'T A TIGER
SHARK THAT ATTACKED CODY.
-I KNEW IT.
-IT WAS A GREAT WHITE.
-A GREAT WHITE?
-I WANT EVERYBODY OUT OF THE
WATER INCLUDING YOUR CAST.
-WHAT'S LEFT OF IT.
-MITCH: I WANT YOU
OUT OF THE AREA, LOGAN.
-MITCH, IF THERE'S A
GREAT WHITE OUT THERE
I HAVE TO FILM IT.
I MAY NEVER GET
THIS CHANCE AGAIN.
-YOU ENDANGER
ONE PERSON'S LIFE,
YOU'LL BE FLIPPING
HAMBURGERS BACK IN TASMANIA.
-WE'LL SEE.
WE'LL SEE.
GET READY.
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
♪ I'LL SEE YOU AROUND
♪ YOU AIN'T WORTH MY TIME
♪ I'LL SAVE YOU THE TROUBLE
♪ THAT'S MY BOTTOM LINE
♪ OH IT'S NO GOOD WITHOUT THAT PAYOFF
♪ PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF♪
♪ OH IT'S NO GOOD WITHOUT THAT PAYOFF
♪ PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF♪
♪ I'LL MAKE THE MOST OF IT
♪ I SEE IT ALL SO CLEAR
♪ THOUGHT YOU HAD ME FOOLED
♪ YOU WON'T SEE ME SHED A TEAR
♪ OH IT'S NO GOOD WITHOUT THAT PAYOFF ♪
♪ PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF♪
♪ OH IT'S NO GOOD WITHOUT THAT PAYOFF
♪ PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF
♪ SUN IS BURNING HOT
♪ GOT MILES TILL WE SLEEP
♪ I KNOW YOU WANT IT BAD BUT DARLIN
♪ THAT DON'T COME CHEAP
♪ OH IT'S NO GOOD WITHOUT THAT PAYOFF
♪ PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF ♪
♪ OH IT'S NO GOOD WITHOUT THAT PAYOFF
♪ PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF
♪ I SEE YOU GOT THE MOVES
♪ YOU GOT A LOT OF TALK
♪ I HEARD IT ALL BEFORE BUT TELL ME
♪ CAN YOU WALK THAT WALK
♪ OH IT'S NO GOOD WITHOUT THAT PAYOFF ♪
♪ PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF
♪ OH IT'S NO GOOD WITHOUT THAT PAYOFF
♪ PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF ♪
♪ OH IT'S NO GOOD WITHOUT THAT PAYOFF
♪ OH IT'S NO GOOD WITHOUT THAT PAYOFF
-I BET LOGAN IS LOVING ALL THIS
FREE PUBLICITY FOR HIS MOVIE.
-IF I DIDN'T KNOW
BETTER I'D SAY
HE STAGED THE WHOLE
THING HIMSELF.
HE'S THAT OBSESSED LATELY.
-I READ THE SCRIPT,
IT WASN'T HALF BAD.
-I KNOW, I HATE TO ADMIT IT.
HE'S PRETTY TALENTED.
MORE TALENTED THAN HE DESERVES.
-SO WHAT, IS THIS THE END OF
YOUR GLORIOUS ACTING CAREER?
-I THINK I'LL STICK TO
LIFEGUARDING FOR NOW.
BUT WHO KNOWS, DOWN THE LINE
I MIGHT GIVE IT ANOTHER WHIRL.
KINDA LIKED BEING IN
FRONT OF THAT CAMERA.
-LIFEGUARD! LIFEGUARD!
I CAN'T FIND MY DAUGHTER!
-OKAY, WHAT DOES SHE LOOK LIKE?
-SHE'S SIX YEARS OLD, SHE
HAS BLONDE HAIR AND BLUE EYES.
LISA!
LISA!
OH MY GOD, THAT'S HER BUCKET.
OH, LISA!
-MA'AM, PLEASE DON'T GO IN.
-LISA: MOMMY.
-OH, LISA, WHERE DID YOU GO?
YOU HAD ME WORRIED TO DEATH.
-SHE WAS CHASING A SAND CRAB
AND I THINK SHE LOST
TRACK OF WHERE SHE WAS.
-THANK YOU SO MUCH.
-OH, IT'S MY PLEASURE.
-THANKS A LOT, SHE WAS STARTING
TO GET A LITTLE FREAKED OUT.
-SO WAS I, WHEN I
SAW YOU TALKING TO HER
WITH YOUR BACK TO THE WATER.
WHAT'S THE FIRST THING THEY
TAUGHT YOU IN ROOKIE SCHOOL?
YOUR EYES NEVER LEAVE THE WATER.
-I WAS TRYING TO KEEP
HER FROM GOING IN.
-LOOK, I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA BE
AN EXCELLENT LIFEGUARD SOMEDAY,
BUT YOU STILL GOT
A LOT TO LEARN.
-NEELY!
LOOK, I DON'T WANNA GET
OFF ON THE WRONG FOOT.
SO LET'S GET SOMETHING
STRAIGHT BETWEEN US RIGHT NOW,
I KNOW ABOUT YOU AND ANTHONY,
AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW
-I'M NOT INTERESTED IN HIM,
NEVER WAS, NEVER WILL BE.
I DON'T BELIEVE IN STEALING
A CO-WORKERS BOYFRIEND,
NOR DO I INTEND TO GET INVOLVED
WITH ANYONE AT BAYWATCH.
I HAVE A STRICT POLICY AGAINST
MIXING BUSINESS WITH PLEASURE.
ARE WE CLEAR ON THAT?
-CRYSTAL CLEAR.
-DONNA: GOOD.
-WOMAN: HEY, LET'S GO.
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-NEELY: ALWAYS A
COUPLE OF WISE GUYS.
THE BEACH IS CLOSED!
HEY, GET BACK IN HERE!
CAN'T YOU READ THE SIGN?
LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GONNA
HAVE TO GO GET 'EM.
WE'RE NOT JOKING, BOYS.
THERE'S A SHARK ALERT
AT ALL MALIBU BEACHES,
GET OUT OF THE WATER NOW.
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
I'LL GET THAT BUNCH, YOU
GET THE LITTLE HOT DOG.
YOU GUYS, SHARK
ALERT. COME ON, GET IN.
-OH GOD!
-SHARK! SHARK!
-[SCREAMS]
-HELP!
-DONNA: GRAB THE CAN.
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
DO YOU KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU ARE?
-RADIO: WE HAVE ANOTHER
CONFIRMED SHARK ATTACK
OFF TOWER 15, CLEAR THE
WATER OF ALL SWIMMERS.
-WE'VE GOT A COUPLE
SURFERS WITH SPEAR GUNS
HEADED TOWARDS THE AREA,
COVER MY WATER WILL YA?
LET'S GO!
-RADIO: NINE FIVE TO
ALL AVAILABLE UNITS,
RESPOND CODE THREE TO MALIBU
12, CONFIRMED SHARK ATTACK.
-OKAY PEOPLE, THIS COULD BE IT.
-[ROCK MUSIC]
-HANG ON.
-FULL THROTTLE.
-GET OUT OF THE WATER.
-WE AIN'T AFRAID OF NO SHARK.
-OH, COME ON, ALL RIGHT,
WE KNOW HOW MACHO YOU ARE,
YOU'VE PROVEN YOUR POINT.
NOW START PADDLING, OKAY?
-UNLESS YOU WANT
US TO DRAG YOU IN.
-ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
-UGH LOOK, IT'S LOGAN.
-THIS IS GREAT, AS IF WE
DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS.
YOU KNOW I BET YOU ANYTHING
THAT HE WAS MONITORING
THE LIFEGUARD FREQUENCIES.
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-[THUMP]
WHAT WAS THAT?
-GET AS CLOSE AS YOU CAN.
-YUP.
-[SCREAMING]
-DAMN, I JUST RAN OUT OF FILM.
-WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU
JUST RAN OUT OF FILM?
-RELOAD!
-HURRY!
-MITCH!
SHARK!
[SCREAMING]
-KEEP ROLLING, STAY WITH HIM.
-CAROLINE: HELP!
-COME ON!
COME ON.
-[SCREAMING]
-COME ON, MITCH!
SWIM!
COME ON!
HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
SWIM!
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-WHAT AN INCREDIBLE SPECIMEN.
TIME TO RELIVE YOUR
NAVY SEAL DAYS.
-WHAT?
-HERE, TIE THIS TO THE LINE.
-WHAT? WHAT FOR?
-TRACKING, REMEMBER THE
YELLOW BARRELS IN JAWS?
-SHARK ON THE STARBOARD SIDE.
-THIS IS THE LIFEGUARD VERSION.
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-HARD LEFT!
-WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
-TELL HIM TO STAND
STILL, I CAN'T FOCUS.
-READY.
-WAIT, HE'S NOT IN FRAME.
-IT'S NOT A MOVIE, LOGAN.
-NOW!
-LOGAN: ACTION!
-MITCH: GOT IT.
-CAROLINE: GOOD SHOT MITCH.
-LOGAN: KEEP ROLLING.
-I'M RUNNING OUT OF FILM,
I BETTER RELOAD NOW.
-ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET
THE HELL OUT OF HERE.
GET ME THE COAST GUARD
ON THE HORN.
-I DON'T THINK SO.
-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
-THIS IS A PRIVATELY
OWNED VESSEL,
YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO
COMMANDEER THIS BOAT.
-LOGAN, YOU WANT
THIS FILM OR NOT?
-YUP.
-[YELLING]
-MITCH: LOGAN!
GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WATER!
COME ON MAN!
LOGAN, COME ON.
COME ON, GET THE CAN!
HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
COME ON LOGAN! COME ON!
-[SHOUTING]
-COME ON!
COME ON LOGAN!
COME ON!
HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!
WAKE UP, COME ON, LOGAN.
NICE WORK.
-THANKS.
-I'LL SAY, HOW'D YOU
FIGURE THAT OUT SO FAST?
THE GAS CAN, THE CHUM
BUCKET, THE FLARE GUN,
THAT WAS PURE GENIUS.
-OH NOT REALLY, THAT'S HOW
THEY KILLED THE SHARK
IN JAWS: THE REVENGE.
-GEEZ, YOU GUYS
STEAL EVERYTHING.
-MITCH: LOGAN,
GIVE IT UP ALREADY.
-YES!
NO!
-[ROCK MUSIC]
-MAKE SURE YOU CHECK THE RIPS
AT ZUMA, THEY'RE PRETTY BAD.
-HEY MITCH.
-LOGAN.
-UM, I WAS WONDERING
IF YOU COULD SIGN THIS.
-WHAT IS IT?
-IT'S A WAIVER SO I
CAN USE THE FOOTAGE
THAT WAS SHOT OF YOU.
YOU'LL BE FULLY
COMPENSATED, OF COURSE.
-I THOUGHT THE FILM
WAS LOST AT SEA.
-WELL ACTUALLY WE
SHOT SEVERAL REELS
AND I'VE BEEN IN THE
EDITING ROOM ALL MORNING.
THERE'S SOME INCREDIBLE
STUFF THERE, YOU KNOW?
-WHAT IF I DON'T SIGN?
-LOOK, I KNOW I GOT OUT
OF CONTROL ON THE BOAT,
I JUST GOT CARRIED AWAY.
-LITTLE LATE FOR APOLOGIES, PAL.
-THEN HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF
I OFFERED YOU MY RESIGNATION?
LOOK, I COMPROMISED MY
RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU
AND MY DUTIES AS A LIFEGUARD.
I VIOLATED YOUR TRUST.
AND THIS TIME, I DON'T
THINK I CAN GET IT BACK.
-LOGAN, YOU'VE BEEN
A GOOD LIFEGUARD,
AND I DON'T WANNA LOSE YOU.
BUT, BUDDY, YOUR
HEAD'S SOMEPLACE ELSE.
-I KNOW.
I WANT TO TRY TO
BECOME A DIRECTOR.
-THEN GO FOR IT.
-THANKS.
I'LL STICK AROUND UNTIL
YOU CAN FIND A REPLACEMENT.
-OKAY.
-AND MITCH, IF YOU
EVER NEED ME, I'M HERE.
-GOOD LUCK.
-LOGAN: I MEAN THAT.
-[THEME MUSIC]
-♪ SOME PEOPLE STAND
IN THE DARKNESS ♪
♪ AFRAID TO STEP
INTO THE LIGHT ♪
♪ SOME PEOPLE NEED
TO HAVE SOMEBODY ♪
♪ WHEN THE EDGE OF
SURRENDER'S IN SIGHT ♪
♪ DON'T YOU WORRY ♪
♪ IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT
♪ 'CAUSE I'M ALWAYS READY
♪ I WON'T LET YOU
OUT OF MY SIGHT ♪
♪ I'LL BE READY
I'LL BE READY ♪
♪ NEVER YOU FEAR
NO, DON'T YOU FEAR ♪
♪ I'LL BE READY ♪
♪ FOREVER AND ALWAYS ♪
♪ I'M ALWAYS HERE
♪ 'CAUSE I'M ALWAYS READY
♪ I WON'T LET YOU
OUT OF MY SIGHT ♪
♪ I'LL BE READY
I'LL BE READY ♪
♪ NEVER YOU FEAR
NO, DON'T YOU FEAR ♪
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ FOREVER AND ALWAYS
♪ I'M ALWAYS HERE
-[GENTLE MUSIC]
-HEY.
LET'S GO UP TO THE TOWER.
-CAROLINE: WHAT
DID YOU HAVE IN MIND?
-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
-GOING FOR A SWIM.
-A SWIM?
-CAROLINE: HAVEN'T YOU EVER
GONE SKINNY DIPPING BEFORE?
-HEY, WAIT UP.
COME ON.
HEY, BEAUTIFUL, WAIT FOR ME.
HANG ON.
-[GIGGLING]
-I'M COMING.
-[GENTLE MUSIC]
-HOLD ON.
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-[GASPING]
-CUT, CUT, CUT.
NEWMIE.
WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON?
-THIS LEVER'S STUCK.
-THE LEVER'S STUCK.
-HEY, DON'T BLAME
ME, I'M NOT THE ONE
THAT DESIGNED THIS
PIECE OF JUNK.
-IT'S A PERFECTLY
SERVICEABLE PROSTHETIC.
THERE.
-OH, NOW IT WORKS.
-EXCUSE ME, I'M
SORRY, I'M FREEZING.
CAN I HAVE A TOWEL?
-OKAY, LET'S TAKE IT FROM
THE POINT OF THE ATTACK.
-LOGAN, NO WAY, I CAN'T.
I CAN'T. I CAN'T DO THIS
SCENE WITH THIS CHEESY SHARK.
IT COMPLETELY UNDERMINES
MY CHARACTER'S CREDIBILITY.
-TRUST ME, CAROLINE, IT'S
GONNA LOOK GREAT ON FILM.
-TRUST YOU? THAT'S FUNNY.
I'M BEGINNING TO THINK THE
ONLY REASON YOU HIRED ME
FOR THIS PART WAS
TO HUMILIATE ME.
-I HIRED YOU FOR
THIS PART BECAUSE
I BELIEVE IN YOU AS AN ACTRESS,
AND I VALUE YOUR OPINION,
AND WE NEED TO GET
THE SHOT BEFORE DARK.
PLEASE.
-FINE.
-THANK YOU.
HOW'S THE DAY FOR NIGHT WORKING?
-ABOUT AS WELL AS THE PROPS.
-WELL DOES IT BOTHER
ANYBODY ELSE THAT THIS SCENE
IS A COMPLETE RIPOFF FROM JAWS?
-OH, YOU NOTICED THAT TOO HUH?
-I PREFER TO CALL IT PAYING
HOMAGE TO STEVEN SPIELBERG.
-WELL CALL IT
WHATEVER YOU WANT,
IF ANYBODY SEES
THIS STUPID MOVIE
THEY'RE GONNA THINK IT'S A JOKE.
I MEAN NOBODY'S GONNA BUY
THIS THING AS A REAL SHARK.
-I WONDER IF
BRUCE IS AVAILABLE.
-WHO'S BRUCE?
-THE MECHANICAL SHARK
SPIELBERG USED IN JAWS.
-WELL, YOU STOLE THE PLOT,
YOU STOLE THE DIALOGUE,
YOU MIGHT AS WELL
STEAL THE PROPS.
-[FAKE LAUGHING] WILL
YOU PLEASE GET YOUR MARK?
-FINE, BUT IT'S NOT GONNA WORK.
-I'LL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT.
-SHE'S RIGHT, THERE'S NO WAY
THAT SHARK IS GONNA LOOK REAL.
I DON'T CARE HOW MANY
ANGLES YOU SHOOT IT FROM.
-THERE'S ALSO NO WAY WE CAN
AFFORD A MECHANICAL SHARK.
OR YOUR WAGE, SO WE'RE
JUST GONNA HAVE TO
MAKE DUE WITH THIS SHARK.
-YOU'RE THE DIRECTOR.
-OF COURSE.
-I JUST HATE TO SEE A PROMISING
CAREER GO DOWN IN FLAMES.
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO WAIT
FOR THAT FISHING BOAT
TO MOVE OUT OF FRAME.
-I WANNA TALK TO THE
CAPTAIN OF THAT BOAT.
-OKAY, LISTEN UP.
GOOD MORNING.
-MORNING.
[CROSSTALK]
-ALL RIGHT, TOWER ASSIGNMENTS
SOUTH OF THE PIER,
WE GOT CHRIS, 18, JOHN
AT 20, ANTHONY AT 22,
AND NEELY AT THE
FAMOUS TOWER 24.
-THANK YOU.
-24? THERE'S NEVER
ANYBODY ON THAT BEACH.
YOU KNOW, MITCH, WHY DOES SHE
ALWAYS GET THE
CUSHY ASSIGNMENTS?
-YOU WANNA TALK CUSHY BABY?
-YOU KNOW THAT COULD
BE INTERPRETED AS
SEXUAL HARASSMENT.
-YEAH, YOU WISH.
-ALL RIGHT, BEFORE WE
GO OUR SEPARATE WAYS,
I WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE THE
NEWEST MEMBER OF OUR RANKS.
-PLEASE WELCOME DONNA MARCO.
-HI. HI.
-WELCOME ABOARD, DONNA.
-DONNA WILL BE FILLING IN FOR
CAROLINE WHILE SHE COMPLETES
PRINCIPAL PHOTOGRAPHY
ON THE EPIC SHARK FEVER.
DONNA WILL BE AT
TOWER 22 WITH ANTHONY.
ALL RIGHT, ANY
QUESTIONS, COMMENTS?
-COMPLAINTS?
-UM YEAH, MITCH, WHAT'S
THE CAPITAL OF VERMONT?
-VERY FUNNY,
MONTPELIER WISE GUY.
-PLEASE.
-ALL RIGHT, HIT THE SAND,
KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE
WATER AT ALL TIMES.
-NEELY: MITCH, CAN I
SPEAK TO YOUR FOR A SECOND?
-YEAH SURE, WHAT'S UP?
-ISN'T DONNA THE
OWNER OF NIGHT'S?
-ACTUALLY SHE'S
THE FORMER OWNER.
SHE WANTED TO BE A LIFEGUARD
SO SHE STARTED TRAINING,
SHE TRIED OUT FOR ROOKIE SCHOOL,
-AND FINISHED SECOND
IN HER CLASS.
-OH, I'M SURE SHE'S
AN EXCELLENT LIFEGUARD,
BUT MY QUESTION IS, DOES
SHE HAVE A BOYFRIEND?
-NOT THAT I'M AWARE OF, WHY?
-WELL, THIS ISN'T FOR
PUBLIC CONSUMPTION,
BUT ANTHONY AND I HAVE BEEN...
-SEEING EACH OTHER FOR
THE LAST COUPLE OF WEEKS.
-HOW DID YOU KNOW?
-NEELY, IT'S MY JOB TO KNOW
WHAT GOES ON AROUND HERE.
-WELL ANYWAY, AS
YOU PROBABLY KNOW,
IT'S BEEN GOING VERY WELL AND
WE SEEM TO HAVE QUITE A BIT
IN COMMON AND I THINK
WE'RE READY TO TAKE IT--
-TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL.
-EXACTLY!
WHICH IS WHY I WAS
HOPING YOU COULD
FIND ANOTHER PARTNER FOR DONNA.
I MEAN LET'S FACE IT, MITCH,
ANTHONY'S NOT EXACTLY
THE MOST EXPERIENCED
LIFEGUARD WE HAVE AROUND HERE
AND SHE'D BE BETTER
OFF WITH SOMEONE
WITH A LITTLE MORE
SEASONING, WOULDN'T SHE?
-I'LL CHECK THE SCHEDULE.
-THANKS, MITCH, I OWE YOU ONE.
-[GENTLE MUSIC]
♪ OOH OOH OOH OOH
♪ AYE AYE AYE AYE
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON
♪ GO AHEAD AND PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON PUT YOUR HANDS ON
♪ FEEL FREE BOY
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME
♪ FEEL IT BURNING I LIKE THAT
♪ SO DEEP IN NO WAY BACK
♪ FEEL YOU SWEATING IT'S SO HOT
♪ IM READY TAKE YOUR BEST SHOT
♪ SO SMOOTH WHAT YOUR DOING...
♪ NO RULES WHAT YA PROVING
♪ JUST CRUISE KEEP IT MOVING
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON
♪ GO AHEAD AND PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON
♪ FEEL FREE BOY
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON
♪ KEEP IT MOVING OUR OWN TRACK
♪ HEARTS RACING THERE'S NO SLACK
♪ I KNOW IT'S... WHAT YOU DO
♪ YOU GOT THIS FIREPROOF
♪ SO SMOOTH WHAT YOUR DOING
♪ NO RULES WHAT YA PROVING
♪ JUST CRUISE KEEP IT MOVING
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON
♪ GO AHEAD AND PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON
♪ FEEL FREE BOY
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON
♪ GO AHEAD AND PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON
♪ FEEL FREE BOY
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME
-CAN I ASK YOU A
PERSONAL QUESTION?
HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND, HUH?
I'M NOT GETTING IN THAT WATER
WITH A LIVE TIGER SHARK.
-IT'S A LIVE
HARMLESS TIGER SHARK.
-I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF
A HARMLESS SHARK, LOGAN.
-WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU HEARD OF SOMEBODY
BEING ATTACKED BY A TIGER SHARK?
THE CHANCES OF THAT
HAPPENING ARE NIL.
ACTUALLY LESS THAN NIL.
YOU KNOW WHAT, AS
A MATTER OF FACT,
THIS PARTICULAR TIGER
SHARK IS SEDATED.
-HE DOESN'T EVEN
KNOW WHERE IT IS.
-OH THAT'S REALLY FUNNY.
AND HOW DOES ONE GO ABOUT
SEDATING A SHARK, HUH?
-THE SHARK IS GONNA BE
ATTACHED TO A SPECIALLY DESIGNED
MONOFILAMENT LINE AT ALL TIMES.
YOU'LL BE IN NO DANGER
WHATSOEVER, YOU HAVE MY WORD.
-WE ALL KNOW WHAT THAT'S WORTH.
-ALL I NEED IS A
FIVE SECOND SHOT
OF YOU AND THE LIVE TIGER SHARK.
THE REST I CAN DO WITH
THE PLASTIC SHARK.
-YOU SURE YOU ONLY NEED ME
IN THE WATER FOR FIVE SECONDS?
-IF THAT, ALL I NEED
IS A QUICK SWIM BY.
-I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M LETTING
YOU TALK ME INTO THIS.
OUGHT TO HAVE MY HEAD EXAMINED.
-PLENTY OF TIME
FOR THAT MY DEAR,
ONCE WE BECOME RICH AND FAMOUS.
-YEAH, LIKE THIS MOVIE'S
GONNA MAKE ME RICH AND FAMOUS.
-YOU NEVER KNOW, WE'RE
ABOUT TO GET THE SHOT
THAT EVEN SPIELBERG DIDN'T GET.
OKAY EVERYBODY, POSITIONS!
YOU'RE GONNA BE GREAT.
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-OKAY, YOU READY?
POSITION ONE.
-HOLD IT!
HOLD IT!
-AND, ACTION.
-HOLD IT, HOLD IT,
GET OUT OF THE WATER!
GET OUT OF THE
WATER, SHE'S LOOSE!
-[SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING]
-OH NO, I'M OUT OF HERE.
-CAROLINE.
-GET OFF OF ME!
-CAROLINE, I'M SORRY.
-YOU'RE SORRY,
LOGAN, YOU'RE INSANE!
-MITCH: WHAT'S GOING ON?
-WHY DON'T YOU ASK
MR. DIRECTOR HERE,
HE LET A SHARK LOOSE IN THE BAY.
-YOU WHAT?
-IT WAS A TINY TIGER SHARK,
IT WOULDN'T HURT ANYBODY.
-WHAT ARE YOU STUPID?
-IT WAS MEANT TO
BE TIED TO A LINE.
-LOGAN, YOU'RE A
LIFEGUARD FOR GOD SAKES.
-AT THE MOMENT MITCH,
I'M A FILMMAKER.
-THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN
ENDANGER PEOPLE'S LIVES.
IT'S TIME YOU AND I SIT DOWN
AND HAVE A LITTLE TALK ABOUT
YOUR PRIORITIES, REASSESSMENT'S
AT THE TOP OF THE LIST.
-MITCH, THERE ARE
SCORES OF TIGER SHARKS
FEEDING 100 YARDS
OFFSHORE, WHAT DIFFERENCE
IS ONE MORE LITTLE
TIGER SHARK GONNA MAKE?
-HEY YOU GUYS,
YOU'RE IN A RIP TIDE.
THAT'S WHY THERE'S NO WAVES.
LET'S GO, COME ON IN.
COME ON, COME ON, LET'S GO.
I KNOW, I KNOW.
-[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
-[SCREAM]
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-TELLING YOU, YOU PULL
A STUNT LIKE THAT AGAIN,
I'LL HAVE YOUR
FILM PERMIT PULLED
BEFORE YOU CAN SAY
LIGHTS, CAMERA, AND ACTION.
HEY NEWMIE, SHOW BIZ HUH?
-NEWMIE: YEAH RIGHT.
-I PROMISE, MITCH,
NO MORE SINGUM AVERTING.
I'VE GOT A LOT RIDING ON THIS,
EVERYTHING I COULD BEG, BORROW,
AND PUT ON MY CREDIT CARDS.
-RADIO: ZERO-ONE-TWO-NINE-FIVE.
-BUT YOU'RE RIGHT
THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
-MITCH: TWO-NINE-FIVE,
TWO-OH-ONE, SEND YOUR TRAFFIC.
-CAROLINE, WAIT!
-RADIO: YEAH, MITCH, CODY
JUST REPORTED AN INCIDENT--
-YOU CAN'T WALK OUT ON ME.
-WATCH ME.
-DO YOU REALIZE
HOW MANY ACTRESSES
WOULD KILL FOR THIS PART?
YOU COULD'VE BEEN A STAR.
-LOGAN, GET IN!
THERE'S BEEN A SHARK ATTACK.
-[SIRENS]
-OKAY, LET'S NOT JUMP
TO CONCLUSIONS, MITCH,
I WAS FILMING TWO
MILES OFF THE COAST.
-YEAH, WELL SHARKS CAN TRAVEL
20 MILES AN HOUR, FOWLER.
-AND YOU COULD'VE
DONE THIS ON THE ROCKS.
-YEAH RIGHT, THOSE DON'T
LOOK LIKE TEETH MARKS TO YOU?
-ALL RIGHT, LET'S
JUST GET THIS OVER TO
THE MARINE BIOLOGY UNIT AT UCLA.
THEY'LL TELL US WHAT
KIND OF SHARK IT WAS.
-DO YOU KNOW WHAT
THE ODDS ARE THAT THIS
WAS THE SAME SHARK
THAT I WAS USING?
-ALL I KNOW IS THAT YOUR
CAREER IS DANGLING BY A THREAD,
AS A DIRECTOR AND A LIFEGUARD.
-I KNOW YOU'RE ALL AWARE
OF THE SHARK STORIES
FLOATING AROUND HEADQUARTERS,
BUT AT THIS TIME WE HAVE
NO DEFINITIVE PROOF THAT ANYONE
HAS ACTUALLY BEEN ATTACKED.
-SO, LET'S NOT LOSE FOCUS
ON THE EVERYDAY ASPECTS
OF THE JOB, OKAY?
ALL RIGHT, HAVE A GOOD
ONE AND WATCH YOUR FEET,
THERE'S A LOT OF
STINGRAYS OUT THERE.
YOU, KEEP YOUR
EYES ON THE WATER.
-I WILL, THANKS, MITCH.
-DID YOU STOP WORKING
OUT COMPLETELY?
NEWMIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I THOUGHT YOU WERE STILL
WORKING ON LOGAN'S MOVIE?
-GOT LAID OFF.
-AWW.
-YEAH, HE'S TAPPED OUT,
THEY'RE GONNA BE
SHUTTING DOWN PRODUCTION.
-WELL, THAT'S SHOW BIZ, MAN.
ANYTHING I CAN DO TO HELP?
-ANYONE WORKING GIDGEE GULCH?
-YOU ARE.
-YEAH, THANKS.
-I THOUGHT WE HAD AN AGREEMENT,
YOU'VE STILL GOT ANTHONY
AND DONNA SHARING A TOWER.
-OH MY GOD, I THOUGHT
I MADE THAT CHANGE.
-NO, YOU DIDN'T.
-WELL I WAS GONNA PUT
HER WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
-LIKE NEWMIE, NEWMIE
WOULD BE PERFECT.
NOW HE COULD TEACH HER A THING
OR TWO ABOUT LIFEGUARDING.
-SO COULD YOU.
-WHAT?
-TOWER 12 WITH DONNA.
-MITCH, DON'T DO THIS TO ME.
-OH, IT'LL BE GOOD FOR YOU.
YOU KNOW, KINDA TAKE
HER UNDER YOUR WING.
-MITCH, MITCH.
-YEAH, WHAT'S UP?
-JUST GOT THE RESULTS
BACK FROM UCLA.
THEY MEASURED THE BITE
RADIUS AND GUESS WHAT?
LOGAN'S OFF THE HOOK.
WASN'T A TIGER SHARK
THAT ATE MY BOARD,
IT WAS A GREAT WHITE.
-[ROCK MUSIC]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-CUT, CUT, CUT!
-DID YOU GET IT?
-THAT WAS GREAT.
-OKAY, PRINT THAT ONE.
THAT'S TEN MINUTES
FOR LUNCH EVERYBODY.
-NOT WHILE WE'VE GOT THE LIGHT,
LET'S MOVE ON TO SCENE 16.
-DID YOU GET IT?
-YEAH, I GOT IT.
SO, WAS THAT YOUR
ALFRED HITCHCOCK CAMEO?
-NO I CAN'T AFFORD TO
PAY MORE CAST CALLS.
-YEAH, SPEAKING OF GETTING PAID.
-UH OH.
-[SIRENS]
-LOOKS LIKE A BUST.
-HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
-WE'RE SHUTTING YOU DOWN.
-SHUTTING US DOWN?
WHAT'D THEY SAY AT UCLA?
-IT WASN'T A TIGER
SHARK THAT ATTACKED CODY.
-I KNEW IT.
-IT WAS A GREAT WHITE.
-A GREAT WHITE?
-I WANT EVERYBODY OUT OF THE
WATER INCLUDING YOUR CAST.
-WHAT'S LEFT OF IT.
-MITCH: I WANT YOU
OUT OF THE AREA, LOGAN.
-MITCH, IF THERE'S A
GREAT WHITE OUT THERE
I HAVE TO FILM IT.
I MAY NEVER GET
THIS CHANCE AGAIN.
-YOU ENDANGER
ONE PERSON'S LIFE,
YOU'LL BE FLIPPING
HAMBURGERS BACK IN TASMANIA.
-WE'LL SEE.
WE'LL SEE.
GET READY.
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
♪ I'LL SEE YOU AROUND
♪ YOU AIN'T WORTH MY TIME
♪ I'LL SAVE YOU THE TROUBLE
♪ THAT'S MY BOTTOM LINE
♪ OH IT'S NO GOOD WITHOUT THAT PAYOFF
♪ PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF♪
♪ OH IT'S NO GOOD WITHOUT THAT PAYOFF
♪ PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF♪
♪ I'LL MAKE THE MOST OF IT
♪ I SEE IT ALL SO CLEAR
♪ THOUGHT YOU HAD ME FOOLED
♪ YOU WON'T SEE ME SHED A TEAR
♪ OH IT'S NO GOOD WITHOUT THAT PAYOFF ♪
♪ PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF♪
♪ OH IT'S NO GOOD WITHOUT THAT PAYOFF
♪ PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF
♪ SUN IS BURNING HOT
♪ GOT MILES TILL WE SLEEP
♪ I KNOW YOU WANT IT BAD BUT DARLIN
♪ THAT DON'T COME CHEAP
♪ OH IT'S NO GOOD WITHOUT THAT PAYOFF
♪ PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF ♪
♪ OH IT'S NO GOOD WITHOUT THAT PAYOFF
♪ PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF
♪ I SEE YOU GOT THE MOVES
♪ YOU GOT A LOT OF TALK
♪ I HEARD IT ALL BEFORE BUT TELL ME
♪ CAN YOU WALK THAT WALK
♪ OH IT'S NO GOOD WITHOUT THAT PAYOFF ♪
♪ PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF
♪ OH IT'S NO GOOD WITHOUT THAT PAYOFF
♪ PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF, PAYOFF ♪
♪ OH IT'S NO GOOD WITHOUT THAT PAYOFF
♪ OH IT'S NO GOOD WITHOUT THAT PAYOFF
-I BET LOGAN IS LOVING ALL THIS
FREE PUBLICITY FOR HIS MOVIE.
-IF I DIDN'T KNOW
BETTER I'D SAY
HE STAGED THE WHOLE
THING HIMSELF.
HE'S THAT OBSESSED LATELY.
-I READ THE SCRIPT,
IT WASN'T HALF BAD.
-I KNOW, I HATE TO ADMIT IT.
HE'S PRETTY TALENTED.
MORE TALENTED THAN HE DESERVES.
-SO WHAT, IS THIS THE END OF
YOUR GLORIOUS ACTING CAREER?
-I THINK I'LL STICK TO
LIFEGUARDING FOR NOW.
BUT WHO KNOWS, DOWN THE LINE
I MIGHT GIVE IT ANOTHER WHIRL.
KINDA LIKED BEING IN
FRONT OF THAT CAMERA.
-LIFEGUARD! LIFEGUARD!
I CAN'T FIND MY DAUGHTER!
-OKAY, WHAT DOES SHE LOOK LIKE?
-SHE'S SIX YEARS OLD, SHE
HAS BLONDE HAIR AND BLUE EYES.
LISA!
LISA!
OH MY GOD, THAT'S HER BUCKET.
OH, LISA!
-MA'AM, PLEASE DON'T GO IN.
-LISA: MOMMY.
-OH, LISA, WHERE DID YOU GO?
YOU HAD ME WORRIED TO DEATH.
-SHE WAS CHASING A SAND CRAB
AND I THINK SHE LOST
TRACK OF WHERE SHE WAS.
-THANK YOU SO MUCH.
-OH, IT'S MY PLEASURE.
-THANKS A LOT, SHE WAS STARTING
TO GET A LITTLE FREAKED OUT.
-SO WAS I, WHEN I
SAW YOU TALKING TO HER
WITH YOUR BACK TO THE WATER.
WHAT'S THE FIRST THING THEY
TAUGHT YOU IN ROOKIE SCHOOL?
YOUR EYES NEVER LEAVE THE WATER.
-I WAS TRYING TO KEEP
HER FROM GOING IN.
-LOOK, I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA BE
AN EXCELLENT LIFEGUARD SOMEDAY,
BUT YOU STILL GOT
A LOT TO LEARN.
-NEELY!
LOOK, I DON'T WANNA GET
OFF ON THE WRONG FOOT.
SO LET'S GET SOMETHING
STRAIGHT BETWEEN US RIGHT NOW,
I KNOW ABOUT YOU AND ANTHONY,
AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW
-I'M NOT INTERESTED IN HIM,
NEVER WAS, NEVER WILL BE.
I DON'T BELIEVE IN STEALING
A CO-WORKERS BOYFRIEND,
NOR DO I INTEND TO GET INVOLVED
WITH ANYONE AT BAYWATCH.
I HAVE A STRICT POLICY AGAINST
MIXING BUSINESS WITH PLEASURE.
ARE WE CLEAR ON THAT?
-CRYSTAL CLEAR.
-DONNA: GOOD.
-WOMAN: HEY, LET'S GO.
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-NEELY: ALWAYS A
COUPLE OF WISE GUYS.
THE BEACH IS CLOSED!
HEY, GET BACK IN HERE!
CAN'T YOU READ THE SIGN?
LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GONNA
HAVE TO GO GET 'EM.
WE'RE NOT JOKING, BOYS.
THERE'S A SHARK ALERT
AT ALL MALIBU BEACHES,
GET OUT OF THE WATER NOW.
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
I'LL GET THAT BUNCH, YOU
GET THE LITTLE HOT DOG.
YOU GUYS, SHARK
ALERT. COME ON, GET IN.
-OH GOD!
-SHARK! SHARK!
-[SCREAMS]
-HELP!
-DONNA: GRAB THE CAN.
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
DO YOU KNOW HOW LUCKY YOU ARE?
-RADIO: WE HAVE ANOTHER
CONFIRMED SHARK ATTACK
OFF TOWER 15, CLEAR THE
WATER OF ALL SWIMMERS.
-WE'VE GOT A COUPLE
SURFERS WITH SPEAR GUNS
HEADED TOWARDS THE AREA,
COVER MY WATER WILL YA?
LET'S GO!
-RADIO: NINE FIVE TO
ALL AVAILABLE UNITS,
RESPOND CODE THREE TO MALIBU
12, CONFIRMED SHARK ATTACK.
-OKAY PEOPLE, THIS COULD BE IT.
-[ROCK MUSIC]
-HANG ON.
-FULL THROTTLE.
-GET OUT OF THE WATER.
-WE AIN'T AFRAID OF NO SHARK.
-OH, COME ON, ALL RIGHT,
WE KNOW HOW MACHO YOU ARE,
YOU'VE PROVEN YOUR POINT.
NOW START PADDLING, OKAY?
-UNLESS YOU WANT
US TO DRAG YOU IN.
-ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
-UGH LOOK, IT'S LOGAN.
-THIS IS GREAT, AS IF WE
DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS.
YOU KNOW I BET YOU ANYTHING
THAT HE WAS MONITORING
THE LIFEGUARD FREQUENCIES.
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-[THUMP]
WHAT WAS THAT?
-GET AS CLOSE AS YOU CAN.
-YUP.
-[SCREAMING]
-DAMN, I JUST RAN OUT OF FILM.
-WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU
JUST RAN OUT OF FILM?
-RELOAD!
-HURRY!
-MITCH!
SHARK!
[SCREAMING]
-KEEP ROLLING, STAY WITH HIM.
-CAROLINE: HELP!
-COME ON!
COME ON.
-[SCREAMING]
-COME ON, MITCH!
SWIM!
COME ON!
HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
SWIM!
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-WHAT AN INCREDIBLE SPECIMEN.
TIME TO RELIVE YOUR
NAVY SEAL DAYS.
-WHAT?
-HERE, TIE THIS TO THE LINE.
-WHAT? WHAT FOR?
-TRACKING, REMEMBER THE
YELLOW BARRELS IN JAWS?
-SHARK ON THE STARBOARD SIDE.
-THIS IS THE LIFEGUARD VERSION.
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-HARD LEFT!
-WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
-TELL HIM TO STAND
STILL, I CAN'T FOCUS.
-READY.
-WAIT, HE'S NOT IN FRAME.
-IT'S NOT A MOVIE, LOGAN.
-NOW!
-LOGAN: ACTION!
-MITCH: GOT IT.
-CAROLINE: GOOD SHOT MITCH.
-LOGAN: KEEP ROLLING.
-I'M RUNNING OUT OF FILM,
I BETTER RELOAD NOW.
-ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET
THE HELL OUT OF HERE.
GET ME THE COAST GUARD
ON THE HORN.
-I DON'T THINK SO.
-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
-THIS IS A PRIVATELY
OWNED VESSEL,
YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO
COMMANDEER THIS BOAT.
-LOGAN, YOU WANT
THIS FILM OR NOT?
-YUP.
-[YELLING]
-MITCH: LOGAN!
GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WATER!
COME ON MAN!
LOGAN, COME ON.
COME ON, GET THE CAN!
HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
COME ON LOGAN! COME ON!
-[SHOUTING]
-COME ON!
COME ON LOGAN!
COME ON!
HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!
WAKE UP, COME ON, LOGAN.
NICE WORK.
-THANKS.
-I'LL SAY, HOW'D YOU
FIGURE THAT OUT SO FAST?
THE GAS CAN, THE CHUM
BUCKET, THE FLARE GUN,
THAT WAS PURE GENIUS.
-OH NOT REALLY, THAT'S HOW
THEY KILLED THE SHARK
IN JAWS: THE REVENGE.
-GEEZ, YOU GUYS
STEAL EVERYTHING.
-MITCH: LOGAN,
GIVE IT UP ALREADY.
-YES!
NO!
-[ROCK MUSIC]
-MAKE SURE YOU CHECK THE RIPS
AT ZUMA, THEY'RE PRETTY BAD.
-HEY MITCH.
-LOGAN.
-UM, I WAS WONDERING
IF YOU COULD SIGN THIS.
-WHAT IS IT?
-IT'S A WAIVER SO I
CAN USE THE FOOTAGE
THAT WAS SHOT OF YOU.
YOU'LL BE FULLY
COMPENSATED, OF COURSE.
-I THOUGHT THE FILM
WAS LOST AT SEA.
-WELL ACTUALLY WE
SHOT SEVERAL REELS
AND I'VE BEEN IN THE
EDITING ROOM ALL MORNING.
THERE'S SOME INCREDIBLE
STUFF THERE, YOU KNOW?
-WHAT IF I DON'T SIGN?
-LOOK, I KNOW I GOT OUT
OF CONTROL ON THE BOAT,
I JUST GOT CARRIED AWAY.
-LITTLE LATE FOR APOLOGIES, PAL.
-THEN HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF
I OFFERED YOU MY RESIGNATION?
LOOK, I COMPROMISED MY
RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU
AND MY DUTIES AS A LIFEGUARD.
I VIOLATED YOUR TRUST.
AND THIS TIME, I DON'T
THINK I CAN GET IT BACK.
-LOGAN, YOU'VE BEEN
A GOOD LIFEGUARD,
AND I DON'T WANNA LOSE YOU.
BUT, BUDDY, YOUR
HEAD'S SOMEPLACE ELSE.
-I KNOW.
I WANT TO TRY TO
BECOME A DIRECTOR.
-THEN GO FOR IT.
-THANKS.
I'LL STICK AROUND UNTIL
YOU CAN FIND A REPLACEMENT.
-OKAY.
-AND MITCH, IF YOU
EVER NEED ME, I'M HERE.
-GOOD LUCK.
-LOGAN: I MEAN THAT.
-[THEME MUSIC]