Baywatch (1989–2001): Season 4, Episode 18 - Rescue Bay - full transcript
After witnessing a rescue, a bumbling, ambitious TV producer, named Don Brand, decides to make a pilot movie, titled 'Rescue Bay', based on the life of the Baywatch team which results in ...
-[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
-♪ SOME PEOPLE STAND
IN THE DARKNESS ♪
♪ AFRAID TO STEP
INTO THE LIGHT ♪
♪ SOME PEOPLE NEED
TO HELP SOMEBODY ♪
♪ WHEN THE EDGE OF
SURRENDER'S IN SIGHT ♪
♪ DON'T YOU WORRY
♪ IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT
♪ 'CAUSE I'M ALWAYS READY
♪ I WON'T LET YOU
OUT OF MY SIGHT ♪
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ NEVER YOU FEAR
♪ OH, DON'T YOU FEAR
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ FOREVER AND ALWAYS
♪ I'M ALWAYS HERE
♪ 'CAUSE I'M ALWAYS READY
♪ I WON'T LET YOU
OUT OF MY SIGHT ♪
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ NEVER YOU FEAR
♪ NO, DON'T YOU FEAR
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ FOREVER AND ALWAYS
♪ I'M ALWAYS HERE
-[CROWD CHATTER]
-I'M SURE THE
LIFEGUARDS IN HAWAII
WANT C.J. TO STAY IN THE
EXCHANGE PROGRAM ANOTHER WEEK,
BUT TELL THEM WE NEED
HER BACK HERE BY TUESDAY.
-MAN ON SPEAKER: WILL DO.
-[PHONE RINGS]
-[MAKES STATIC SOUND]
THANK YOU FOR CALLING
DON BRAND PRODUCTIONS.
AT THE SOUND OF THE TONE,
PLEASE LEAVE US A MESSAGE.
[MAKES BEEPING SOUND]
DOLORES, IT'S ME. DOLORES,
HEY. WHAT DID NBC SAY?
YEAH. THEY PASSED?
WHAT ARE YOU TALK--
CBS SAID IT'S A
RIPOFF? HEY, LOOK.
I HAD DINOSAUR PARK BEFORE
JURASSIC PARK WAS EVEN A BOOK.
ABC SAID WHAT?
WELL, WHAT DO THEY KNOW? THEY
PASSED ON ALL IN THE FAMILY.
-GARNER: HEY, YOU!
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!
-WHAT?
-HEY! HEY! SOMEBODY
HELP US OUT HERE!
-BOAT FIRE OFF TOWER 11.
IT'S A RESCUE CODE THREE.
-HELP!
HEY, SOMEBODY HELP!
-[SIREN WAILING]
-GARNER: COULD
USE SOME HELP HERE.
-SORRY, WE'RE BUSY.
-HEY!
-[YELLS]
-DOLORES, YOU
WON'T BELIEVE THIS!
I'M SEEING A WHOLE NEW
ACTION-ADVENTURE SCENE
UNFOLDING RIGHT
BEFORE MY VERY EYES.
-[YELLS]
-AH-- UH-- NO MORE DINOSAURS!
YES, LIFEGUARDS!
AND THEY'RE WEARING--
THEY'RE WEARING BATHING
SUITS. LOVELY BATHING SUITS.
AND BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE, AND--
LISTEN, LISTEN.
WE'RE GOING TO
CALL IT RESCUE BAY.
YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT.
COPYRIGHT THAT. GET OUT.
GET IT COPYRIGHTED.
I'LL CALL YA LATER.
OH, DADDY TAKE ME DOWNTOWN!
-[SHOUTING]
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-LADY: HEY!
-SON, I NEED YOUR KITE.
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-[GRUNTS]
-OH!
-ALL RIGHT. GET UP.
-AH!
-HELP! HELP!
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-OOH!
-HELP! HELP! HELP!
-BACK ME UP.
TAKE MY HAND.
-YOU GUYS OKAY?
-YEAH. SEE YOU ON SHORE.
-OKAY, LET'S GO IN.
-THAT WAS GREAT, YOU GUYS.
-WOO!
-[LAUGHS]
-GOOD GOING OUT THERE.
-THANKS. DID YOU GET YOUR MAN?
-YEAH. WRAPPED HIM UP
AND SHIPPED HIM OFF.
-GREAT.
-WHOA, CONGRATULATIONS!
THIS WAS UNBELIEVABLE!
HOLY-- THAT THING YOU DID WITH
THE KITE WAS FANTASTIC!
IT WAS PERFECT COUNTERPOINT
TO THE ACTION IN THE WATER.
AND YOU WERE ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!
-THANK YOU. NOW
EXCUSE US, PLEASE.
WE HAVE TO GET BACK
TO WORK. SEE YOU GUYS.
-LOOK, JUST PRETEND
I'M NOT HERE, OKAY?
HE'S ALIVE.
-I'D RATHER NOT PRETEND.
-HEY, HEY, LISTEN.
JUST A QUICK QUESTION.
UH, YOU EVER THOUGHT
OF PUTTING MONSTER
WHEELS ON THESE TRUCKS?
OH, JUST A THOUGHT.
MONSTER WHEELS.
-LET ME TAKE A WILD GUESS.
YOU'RE IN THE FILM
BUSINESS. A PRODUCER.
-WELL, TELEVISION.
SERIOUS TELEVISION. DON BRAND.
YEAH, I PRODUCE, DIRECT,
WRITE, EVERYTHING.
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO--
-I WOULDN'T.
-AH. CAN I RIDE
ALONG WITH YOU, MAYBE?
-NO.
-I-- HEY, I'VE DONE RIDE-ALONGS
WITH THE LAPD AND
SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT. HEY!
HEY, COME ON!
WOULDN'T YOU RATHER COOPERATE
AND HAVE AN ACCURATE PORTRAYAL
OF LIFEGUARDS IN ACTION?
-COME ON, YOURSELF. YOU'RE
TALKING ABOUT TELEVISION.
-WHO DO I HAVE TO TALK
TO TO ARRANGE SOMETHING?
-I DON'T KNOW. THE CHIEF.
-CHIEF. CHIEF.
-[EXCITING MUSIC]
-A SERIES ABOUT LIFEGUARDS.
I CAN'T BELIEVE NO ONE'S
EVER THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE!
AH! [EXCLAIMS]
YEAH, DON'T FORGET TO GET
SOME OF THESE BEACH HUMMERS
-WHAT IS THAT TV HUSTLER GUY
DOING ON ONE OF OUR TRUCKS?
-IT'S A RIDE-ALONG.
DIVISION APPROVED IT.
-I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.
-I SORT OF ADVISED HIM
TO TALK TO THE CHIEF.
-YOU? OH, PERFECT. YOU.
-I JUST WANTED
TO GET RID OF HIM.
-IF THIS GUY GETS IN
THE WAY, I'M TELLIN' YA.
-WELL, HE WANTS TO
INCLUDE OUR BOAT RESCUE
IN HIS PILOT EPISODE. [CHUCKLES]
AND HE'S SAID THAT SOME OF US
MIGHT BE ABLE TO PLAY OURSELVES.
-HELLO? THESE HOLLYWOOD-TYPES
WILL SAY ANYTHING TO GET A DEAL.
-IT'S NOT SO FAR
FETCHED, YA KNOW.
I STUDIED DRAMA IN COLLEGE.
-MITCH: OH.
-I EVEN PLAYED MEDEA ONCE.
-OH. SO YOU WANNA BE ON TV, NOW?
-I DON'T KNOW.
THE MORE I THINK ABOUT IT,
WHY NOT? WOULDN'T YOU?
-NO WAY! 100 PERCENT, NO WAY!
-SO WHO MAKE BETTER
LIFEGUARDS: MEN OR WOMEN?
-UM, MEN, DEFINITELY. COME ON.
MEN ARE BETTER IN EVERY
ASPECT OF THIS JOB.
-WOMEN, DEFINITELY.
WE HAVE MUCH BETTER INSTINCTS
'CAUSE WE CAN SOLVE
PROBLEMS BEFORE THEY HAPPEN.
-NOW, MATT SAYS YOU'RE A COUPLE.
DOES THAT MAKE IT
HARDER TO WORK TOGETHER?
-YEAH, SOMETIMES.
-HARDER? NEVER, NO.
IT NEVER GET IN THE WAY AT ALL.
-THAT'S STRANGE.
SUMMER SAID IT DOES.
-SHE DID?
-YEAH.
THAT'S FUNNY.
MATT SAYS MEN MAKE BETTER
LIFEGUARDS THAN WOMEN.
-HE DID?
-HEY, LOOK. I'M
JUST HERE TO OBSERVE,
JUST GO ON ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS.
WE'LL CHECK UP BACK HERE,
WHATEVER YOU GOTTA DO.
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO AFFECT
THINGS ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM,
OKAY? HEY, I JUST WANNA--
WOW, DRAMA. I LOVE IT.
BEAUTIFUL.
♪ EVERYTHING I SEE
-♪ MAKES MY HEART BEAT ♪
♪ I'M FALLING DEEP
♪ EVERYTHING I SEE
♪ MAKES MY HEART BEAT
♪ I'M FALLING DEEP
♪ I'M IN A LUCID STATE OF MIND
WATCHING EVERYTHING BELOW ♪
♪ YOU SEE ME WALKING ON THE STREETS
ON MY FACE THERE'S A GLOW ♪
♪ START MY MORNING WITH A COFFEE
SHE'S IN GREEN LITTLE HOTTIE ♪
♪ BROWN HAIR SMOKING BODY
I JUST SMILE, YOU CAN STOP ME ♪
♪ I'M AT THE BEACH, IN THE MORNING FOG
♪ FELL IN LOVE WITH LULULEMON,
WALKING HER DOG ♪
♪ IN LINE AT THE CORNER STORE
♪ KNEW IT WOULD LAST FOREVER
WHEN SHE WALKED IN THE DOOR ♪
♪ EVERYTHING I SEE
♪ MAKES MY HEART BEAT
♪ I'M FALLING DEEP
♪ EVERYTHING I SEE
♪ MAKES MY HEART BEAT
♪ I'M FALLING DEEP
♪ IT ONLY TOOK ONE SECOND
TO KNOW THAT I WANT YOU ♪
♪ TO KNOW THAT I NEED YOU
♪ I HOPE THAT YOU'D NEED ME TOO
♪ I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU TO COME OVER
♪ AND TELL ME YOU LOVE ME
♪ THAT'D BE TOO EASY
♪ I'LL BE HERE WAITING
♪ EVERYTHING I SEE
♪ MAKES MY HEART BEAT
♪ I'M FALLING DEEP
♪ EVERYTHING I SEE
-THE HUMAN DRAMA?
-YEAH. YOU KNOW, THE
PERSONAL SIDE OF LIFEGUARDING.
I MEAN, I WANT THIS SHOW TO
BE AS MUCH ABOUT THE PEOPLE
AS I DO ABOUT THE ACTION.
I MEAN, PEOPLE ARE
NOT GONNA COME BACK
AND WATCH RESCUE
BAY WEEK AFTER WEEK
UNLESS THEY--
THEY LIKE THE PEOPLE.
UNLESS THEY CAN
SHARE THEIR LIVES.
-[CHUCKLES] NOTHING TO
DO WITH WOMEN IN BIKINIS?
-WELL, HEY, DOESN'T HURT.
BUT YOU KNOW, PEOPLE WILL
JUST NOT WATCH THIS SHOW
UNLESS WE TELL REALLY
GOOD STORIES ABOUT
INTERESTING PEOPLE.
YOU'RE INTERESTING, STEPHANIE.
TELL ME A GOOD STORY.
TELL ME A PERSONAL STORY.
-WELL, I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T
BE TELLING YOU THIS,
BUT MITCH AND I DATED
WHEN I FIRST STARTED
LIFEGUARDING HERE.
AND THEN WE SPLIT UP.
WELL, ACTUALLY, I LEFT.
SEE, I WAS MARRIED AT THE
TIME, BUT MITCH DIDN'T KNOW.
WELL, ACTUALLY, I WAS SEPARATED.
IS THIS BORING TO YOU?
-OH, NO. PLEASE KEEP GOING.
-SO I FINALLY GOT DIVORCED
AND WHEN I CAME BACK
TO WORK AT BAYWATCH,
IT WAS REALLY AWKWARD
BECAUSE I WAS MITCH'S BOSS.
BUT NOW, EVERYTHING'S FINE.
BUT IT WAS REALLY
DRAMATIC AT THE TIME.
-OH, DRAMA. I LOVE DRAMA.
-LOOK, COME ON, MITCH.
-OH, NO, NO, NO.
-EVERYONE'S TOLD ME
ABOUT THEIR PERSONAL LIFE.
WHY WON'T YOU?
-LOOK, LET'S GET
ONE THING STRAIGHT.
I DON'T WANT ANYTHING
TO DO WITH THIS. GOT IT?
-YEAH. OKAY. SO YOU EVER HAD AN
AFFAIR WITH A COLLEAGUE?
-ARE YOU DEAF?
-NO. I'M JUST PERSISTENT, MAN.
LOOK, COME ON, MITCH. WE GOTTA
GET TOGETHER ON THIS THING.
LIFE IS SHORT AND SO IS MY
SHOOTING SCHEDULE. [CHUCKLES]
LOOK, I'M ONLY
GOING TO BE SHOOTING
ON YOUR BEACH HERE FOR TWO DAYS.
-YOU'RE FILMING AN
ENTIRE PILOT IN TWO DAYS?
-NO. AN ENTIRE
PRESENTATION, YOU SEE?
NETWORKS DON'T SPLURGE
ON PILOTS ANYMORE.
IT'S JUST A LITTLE TEN MINUTES.
YOU SLAP TOGETHER A
SCENE, SOME DIALOGUE,
A MAIN TITLE, YOU KNOW.
AND THEY EITHER PUT YOU
ON THE FALL SCHEDULE,
OR POW, YOU'RE A GHOST.
-BASED ON TEN MINUTES?
-HEY. THIS IS GONNA BE
THE BEST TEN MINUTES
THEY'VE EVER SEEN.
SEE, LOOK. I GOT A
FEELING ABOUT YOU, MITCH.
LOOK, WAIT, WAIT. I WANT
YOU TO PLAY MIKE TOWER.
-WHO?
-MIKE TOWER, THE CHARACTER
I'M BASING ON YOU.
I WANT YOU TO PLAY HIM.
-FORGET IT.
-NO, WAIT! LOOK, MAN, C'MON!
YOU COULD BE A BIG STAR!
YOU'VE GOT EVERYTHING.
THE HAIR, THE EYES, THE
SEX APPEAL, THE HAIR.
-THANKS, BUT NO THANKS.
-LOOK, LOOK. WELL, HANG ON.
I'M TELLING YOU, YOU
COULD DO THIS. TRUST ME.
-TRUST? LOOK, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT IT'S LIKE IN HOLLYWOOD,
BUT IN MY WORLD, TRUST
HAS GOTTA BE EARNED.
-TRUST HAS GOTTA BE EARNED?
I LIKE THAT LINE. THAT'S
PRETTY GOOD. WHAT IS IT?
IN MY WORLD, TRUST IS--
IS WHAT? SAY IT AGAIN.
-TRUST HAS GOT TO BE EARNED.
-[ENGINE STARTS]
-TRUST HAS GOT TO
BE EARNED. SOLID.
LOOK, IF YOU CHANGE YOU
MIND WE'RE CASTING TOMORROW--
TOMORROW MORNING.
-[ENERGETIC ROCK MUSIC]
-[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
-YEAH, HERE.
-LADY: THANKS.
-YOU'RE WELCOME.
-LADY: THANKS.
-HE'S COMING
RIGHT NOW. ASK HIM.
-NO, YOU ASK HIM.
-MATT: ASK HIM.
-MR. BRAND?
-YEAH?
-WHO'S GONNA BE
PLAYING MATT AND ME?
-OH, YOUR CHARACTERS
ARE ALREADY CAST.
I'VE GOT ELAINE ELLIOT,
DAVID BATTLE,
BIG DAY-TIME SOAP OPERA STARS.
HUGE FOLLOWING AND THEY
BOTH HAVE NETWORK DEALS.
-ISN'T HE THAT REAL
MUSCLE-BOUND GUY?
-YEAH, BUT I MEAN,
HE'S KINDA SENSITIVE
AND DID I MENTION HE
HAS A NETWORK DEAL?
-WELL, WHAT IS SHE LIKE?
-MM, I DUNNO.
CUTE, PERKY, ATHLETIC,
AND A BIG NETWORK DEAL.
-[BOTH] NETWORK DEALS? [SCOFFS]
-GARNER: HEY, STEPHANIE.
-HI.
-HEY. I THOUGHT YOU'D
BE OUT THERE AUDITIONING.
-SEE THOSE TWO
WOMEN OVER THERE?
-GARNER: MM-HMM.
-THEY'RE NETWORK
CASTING DIRECTORS.
THEY'RE GONNA HAVE EVERYONE
RUN AND SWIM FIRST,
AND THEN, THEY'LL
NARROW DOWN THE FIELD.
-[LAUGHS]
-DON WANTS ME TO GO LAST SO
I'LL STAND OUT BY COMPARISON.
-MHMM.
WHY ARE THE
ACTRESSES ALL BLONDE?
-UM. I GUESS SO I'LL
REALLY STAND OUT.
-HEY, LISTEN, SWEETHEART.
JUST A LITTLE LAST
MINUTE COACHING, OKAY?
WHEN YOU GET OUT THERE,
JUST BE YOURSELF.
IF YOU DO, YOU'LL BLOW
THE COMPETITION AWAY.
-UM. DON, WE WERE
JUST WONDERING,
WHY ARE ALL THE
ACTRESSES BLONDE?
-WELL, THE NETWORK WANTS
YOUR CHARACTER TO BE BLONDE,
BUT THERE'S NO PROBLEM THERE
BECAUSE WE CAN
JUST DYE YOUR HAIR.
YA KNOW, YOU JUST GO
OUT THERE AND BE YOU.
-[CHUCKLES]
-AND YOU. MAN, I GOT A GUY
THAT LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE YOU,
HE'S EVEN MORE YOU
THAN YOU. [LAUGHS]
-PROBABLY WESLEY
SNIPES. [CHUCKLES]
-UH, MORE LIKE SHERMAN
HEMSLEY. [LAUGHS]
SEE YA.
-BY THE WAY, YOU
KNOW, STEPHANIE,
MITCH'S CHARACTER'S GOIN' FIRST.
UH, WHERE IS HE?
-UH, HE'S BUSY. VERY BUSY.
-COULDN'T BARE TO WATCH, HUH?
-YOU GOT IT.
-[ENERGETIC ROCK MUSIC]
-♪ MAYBE IT'S THE WAY YOU MOVE
♪ THAT KEEPS ME UP AT NIGHT
♪ CAUSE BABY YOU'RE THE DREAM
♪ I WANT TO BE JUST LIKE
♪ MAYBE I CAN GET IT RIGHT
♪ JUST GOTTA CHECK OUT THE VIEW
♪ HEY! I WANNA BE JUST LIKE YOU YEAH!
♪ YOU MAKE IT LOOK SO GOOD
♪ I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S TRUE
♪ YOU DO IT WITH YOUR OWN STYLE
♪ I WANNA BE JUST LIKE YOU
♪ YOU'RE TAKING ME HIGHER AND HIGHER
♪ BABY YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE
♪ I WANNA BE JUST LIKE YOU
♪ MAYBE IT'S THE COUNTDOWN
♪ 'CAUSE I'M RUNNING OUTTA TIME
♪ I GET A LITTLE CLOSER
♪ TO GETTING IT RIGHT
♪ BABY YOU'RE THE REAL THING ♪
♪ AND WHAT I KNOW IS TRUE
♪ I WANNA BE JUST LIKE YOU - YEAH!
♪ GONNA GO THE EXTRA MILE
♪ WANNA CHECK OUT THE VIEW
♪ DO WITH IT A LITTLE STYLE
♪ I WANNA BE JUST LIKE YOU
♪ TAKING IT HIGHER AND HIGHER
♪ BABY YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE
♪ I WANNA BE JUST LIKE YOU - YEAH!
♪ AND IF I FALL
♪ KNOW I'LL TRY
♪ AGAIN SOMEDAY
♪ I'M GONNA RIDE
♪ THE HIGHEST WAVE
♪ YEAH!
♪ YOU MAKE IT LOOK SO GOOD ♪
♪ I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S TRUE
♪ YOU DO IT WITH YOUR OWN STYLE
♪ AND I WANNA BE JUST LIKE YOU
♪ YOU'RE TAKING ME HIGHER AND HIGHER
♪ BABY YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE
♪ I WANNA BE JUST LIKE YOU
♪ WANNA BE JUST LIKE
♪ I WANNA BE JUST LIKE YOU YEAH
♪ I WANNA BE JUST LIKE
♪ I WANNA BE JUST LIKE YOU YEAH
-HI.
-GARNER ELLERBEE,
MEET SLY HUTCHINSON.
-IN PERSON, MY BROTHER.
LARGE AND IN CHARGE.
-[LAUGHS] THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE.
-[CHUCKLES] THIS
IS UNBELIEVABLE.
-[SCOFFS]
-OH YEAH, I CAN PLAY
HIM WITH MY EYES CLOSED.
AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A THING.
-WELL, I'LL LEAVE YOU TWO
GUYS ALONE. OPEN UP TO HIM.
BEFORE THE END OF THE DAY,
YOU WON'T KNOW WHETHER
YOU'RE LOOKIN' IN A MIRROR
OR SLY, HERE. [CHUCKLES]
-[LAUGHS]
-[LAUGHS]
HM.
-[CHUCKLES]
-WELL, WHAT HAPPENED?
DID THEY LIKE ME?
DID I GET THE PART?
-ARE YOU KIDDING?
THEY LOVED YOU.
YOU KNOCKED 'EM OUT, I TELL YA.
LISTEN, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
I'LL CALL YOU RIGHT AFTER
WE MAKE THE FINAL DECISION.
YOU SHOULD FEEL VERY
GOOD ABOUT THIS.
-I DO. THANK YOU.
-HEY, LISTEN, I GOTTA
GO AUDITION A VICTIM.
-OKAY. YES!
-COME ON, WILL YOU
GUYS SHOW ME SOME PANIC?
WAVE YOUR ARMS, COME ON!
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'? THIS ISN'T
THE JOFFREY BALLET, MOVE!
GET THE BIG GUY TO MOVE.
-[SHOUTING IN DISTRESS]
-HELP! HELP!
-VICTIMS IN THE WATER!
-WAVE, COME ON!
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-WHO IS THAT?
SHE'S NOT ON THE LIST.
-DON: I DUNNO.
-LET'S GET HER NAME.
-[INHALING AND EXHALING LOUDLY]
-[INSPIRATIONAL ROCK MUSIC]
-STEPHANIE.
-C.J., WELCOME HOME!
HOW WAS HAWAII?
-OH, GOD, THE LIFEGUARD
EXCHANGE WAS GREAT!
BUT I CAN'T BELIEVE
THEY'RE FILMING
A TV SERIES PILOT
HERE ON THE BEACH!
-I KNOW. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
AND THE CHARACTER
ARE BASED ON US.
-I HEARD.
-YOU KNOW, WHEN I
WAS A LITTLE GIRL,
I WORSHIPED KATHRYN
HEPBURN AND SOPHIA LOREN.
I MEAN, THEY WERE SO
STRONG AND SO BEAUTIFUL.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I MAY
ACTUALLY GET THE CHANCE
TO BECOME AN ACTRESS
LIKE THEY WERE.
WOO, YOU'RE WORKIN'
OUT THERE PRETTY HARD.
-I GOTTA FIRM UP.
-RIGHT NOW? YOU
HAVEN'T EVEN CHANGED.
-WELL, I GOT CAST IN THE SHOW!
-YOU GOT CAST?
-YEAH! AS A LIFEGUARD
NAMED SHELIA.
MY SCRIPT'S IN THE BAG.
-SHELIA AND MIKE TOWER EMBRACE
IN FRONT OF THE FIREPLACE?
C.J., THIS IS ME! IT'S
MITCH AND ME! I'M SHELIA.
-WELL, STEPH, I'M SORRY. THEY--
THE CASTING DIRECTOR
SAW ME MAKE A RESCUE
AND SHE SAID I WAS
PERFECT FOR THE PART.
-HOW CAN YOU BE MORE
PERFECT TO PLAY ME
THAN I AM TO PLAY ME?
I'M A MORE PERFECT
ME THAN YOU ARE!
-UM. WELL, THE CHARACTER'S
REALLY ONLY BASED ON YOU.
-[EXHALES LOUDLY] IT'S
OBVIOUS THAT THEY CAST YOU
BECAUSE YOU'RE BLONDE AND
BUILT THE WAY YOU ARE.
-THAT HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH IT.
-I MEAN, THIS IS SO TYPICAL.
-[SCOFFS]
IT JUST SO HAPPENS
THAT I CAN ACT.
I PLAYED MEDEA IN HIGH SCHOOL.
-OH YEAH? WELL, I
PLAYED MEDEA IN COLLEGE.
-LOOK. I DON'T WANT
TO FIGHT ABOUT THIS.
-WELL, WHAT DO YOU
SUGGEST THAT WE DO?
-[KNOCKING]
-WHAT?
-WHAT, WHAT, WHAT?
-WHICH ONE OF US IS
BEST SUITED TO PLAY ME?
-SHE'S NOT YOU.
SHE'S BASED ON YOU.
-YOU CAN BE HONEST.
-DON'T PUT ME IN
THE MIDDLE OF THIS.
-WELL, IT' WASN'T MY IDEA.
-MITCH, LOOK. THIS SCENE
IS ABOUT YOU AND ME.
COME ON, TELL US WHICH ONE
OF US PLAYS ME THE BEST.
HERE. YOU READ MIKE TOWER.
-THIS IS ABOUT US!
-I TOLD YOU.
-WELL, HOW DID BRAND
GET THIS INFORMATION?
-RESEARCH.
-YOU TOLD HIM INTIMATE
DETAILS ABOUT US?
-MITCH, THE ONLY REASON
AN AUDIENCE WILL COME BACK
TO RESCUE BAY WEEK AFTER WEEK,
IS IF THEY LIKE THE PEOPLE
AND WANT TO SHARE THEIR LIVES.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO FIRST?
-WITH PLEASURE.
WE CAN SHARE THE SCRIPT.
-MITCH: NO, THAT'S OKAY.
I KNOW THE LINES. HUH.
-OKAY. ACTION!
-OH!
-SO MIKE, DID I CATCH
YOU ON THE REBOUND?
-NO, SHELIA. YOU
STOLE ME AT HALF COURT.
-OH, SO WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
-WELL, HOW 'BOUT A LITTLE GAME
OF ONE-ON-ONE IN CATALINA?
-HOW ABOUT A PRACTICE
GAME RIGHT NOW?
-[MOANS SOFTLY]
-CONVINCING ENOUGH?
-YEAH, THAT WAS...
THAT WAS REALLY GOOD.
-OKAY.
MOVE OVER. I'LL SHOW
YOU HOW IT'S DONE.
SO, WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
-[SCOFFS]
-COME ON, MITCH! CONCENTRATE.
SO WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
-HOW ABOUT A LITTLE GAME
OF ONE-ON-ONE CATALINA?
-HOW ABOUT A PRACTICE
GAME RIGHT NOW?
-[BOTH MOANING SOFTLY]
-OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, CUT!
THAT'S ENOUGH.
-NO ONE CAN PLAY ME LIKE ME.
-[CHUCKLES]
-WELL, THAT DOESN'T
CHANGE ANYTHING.
THE NETWORK STILL WANTS
ME TO PLAY SHELIA.
-COME ON, MITCH. CAN'T
YOU TALK TO BRAND?
-NO, NO. THE WHOLE
THING STOPS RIGHT HERE.
I AM NOT GONNA GET
INVOLVED WITH THIS.
-MITCH, PLEASE--
-STEPHANIE, STE--
IF THE NETWORK DOESN'T
WANT YOU TO PLAY SHELIA,
THEN WHAT BETTER PERSON
TO PLAY YOU THAN C.J.
BECAUSE C.J. KNOWS YOU...
-YES.
AND SHE KNOWS HER
WAY AROUND THE BEACH.
-YOU'RE RIGHT.
WELL, THAT'S THAT, THEN.
GOOD LUCK, C.J.
I GUESS THAT'S
ALL I HAVE TO SAY.
-MM.
-BOO!
-WHAT, WHAT?
-MITCH, HEY. PERFECT TIMING.
HEY, LISTEN. I HAVE FINALLY
FOUND THE PERFECT MIKE TOWER.
YOU, MIKE TOWER, SAME THING.
MITCH, I WANT YOU TO
MEET DOLPH APOLGANGER.
-IT IS GOOD TO MEET YOU.
-ISN'T HE PERFECT?
-COULD I TALK TO
YOU FOR A MINUTE?
-YEAH, I GOTTA GET 'OL DOLPHY
DOWN HERE TO WARDROBE, THOUGH.
I FEEL LIKE YOU CAN SHOW HIM
THE ROPES A LITTLE WHILE.
IN FACT, I WANT YOU TO TEACH
HIM EVERYTHING YOU KNOW.
IN FACT, I TELL YA WHAT,
PAL. I'M GONNA MAKE YOU
MY NUMBER ONE TECHNICAL
MAIN MAN ADVISER, OKAY?
-NOW, WAIT HERE. I'LL BE BACK.
-I'LL BE BACK?
UNBELIEVABLE. THIS
IS UNBELIEVABLE.
-[INDISTINCT TALKING]
-[ROCK MUSIC]
-WE'RE READY FOR
YOU IN FIVE MINUTES.
-[INDISTINCT TALKING]
-[WOMEN LAUGHING]
-MATT, LOOK. SHE'S
WHITE AS A GHOST.
-YEAH, AND HE LOOKS
LIKE A GORILLA.
-WE SHOULD'VE JUST
PLAYED OURSELVES.
-WELL, REMEMBER, WE
DON'T HAVE NETWORK DEALS.
-[INDISTINCT TALKING]
-YEAH, JUST SET THAT UP
AND MARK IT ABOUT TEN FEET.
-YOU GOT IT.
-OFFICER. YEAH, OFFICER.
LOOK, PAL. TIME IS
MONEY HERE, OKAY?
WE GOTTA CLEAR THE SET.
-OH YEAH, SURE.
-OKAY? I APPRECIATE
WHAT YOU DO FOR ME.
-I'LL BE RIGHT OVER HERE.
-CAN I GET A COFFEE?
-[SWANKY MUSIC]
-OH, EXCUSE ME.
-OH, HEY. [CHUCKLES]
-LADY: THANKS. BYE.
-UH, [CHUCKLES] SLY, WE
DON'T WEAR WEAPONS THAT LARGE
AND UH, I CERTAINLY
DON'T WALK LIKE THAT.
-SO WHAT? THIS IS TV, MY MAN.
LOOK HERE, IF I
PLAYED YOU AS YOU,
WOULDN'T BE NOBODY
WATCHIN' THE SHOW.
-NOW WAIT JUST A SECOND.
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHIN'.
I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR--
-I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, MY BROTHER.
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE YOUR
RESPONSIBILITIES OVER THERE
AND UH, LIKE PRACTICE
A LITTLE CROWD CONTROL,
LIKE A GOOD BROTHER. A'IGHT?
A'IGHT. CIAO!
-BABY. [GIGGLES]
-OH, EXCUSE ME?
-OH, DON'T TELL ME
YOU'RE GETTIN' SHY ON ME,
ARE YA, SLY BABY?
-OH, WAIT, WAIT,
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
UM, NO, BABY.
YOU KNOW ME. MR. LARGE
AND IN CHARGE.
-[CROWD MURMURS]
-[MOANS]
-MAN: LUCKY GUY.
-WHOA, HEY!
-DAWN?
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO. WAIT
A MINUTE, NO NO, UH-UH.
WHA-- WHA--
WHAT IS UP WITH THIS?
-IT'S CALLED UH,
KISSING, MY MAN.
YOU SHOULD LEARN HOW TO DO IT.
-SLY?
UH, BABY...
WHO ARE YOU?
-NAME'S GARNER, AND
IT APPEARS, MR. SLY,
THAT I CAN PLAY YOU BETTER
THAN YOU CAN PLAY ME.
-[CROWD GASPS]
I AM NOT ONE OF YOUR STUNT MEN,
SO YOU NEED TO BE
VERY, VERY CAREFUL.
-COOL, COOL, COOL.
-MY BROTHER.
-[GROANS]
-[CROWD MURMURS]
-ALL RIGHT--
[STATIC DROWNS OUT SPEECH].
CAN I HAVE YOUR ATT-- [STATIC]
CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION?
COULD YOU LISTEN UP, PLEASE?
HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO.
WE GOT THREE CAMERA
POSITIONS ON THE BEACH
AND TWO IN THE WATER.
I WANNA GO ALL THE WAY
THROUGH THIS SCENE,
SO IF YOU MAKE ANY MISTAKES,
JUST KEEP THE ACTION GOING.
YOU FAKE IT, WE'LL MAKE IT.
WE'LL PICK IT UP
LATER IN COVERAGE.
OKAY, LET'S MAKE THIS.
LET'S GET A SLATE.
CAMERA'S ROLLING.
-MAN: SPEED.
-STICKS. AND ACTION!
-[WOMEN LAUGHING]
-HELP!
-[SIREN BLARING]
-LET'S GO, MAN! COME ON!
-[LAUGHING]
-LADY: OH, HEY! WATCH OUT!
-MAN VICTIM: HEY! HELP US!
-WOMAN VICTIM: OVER HERE!
-WHAT IS THIS?
-HOLLYWOOD'S ACCURATE
PORTRAYAL OF LIFEGUARDS.
-♪ THERE IS A ROAD
♪ TO FEELING FINE
♪ WE'RE PLAYING A ROLL
♪ FOR WANDERING EYES
♪ LOOK AROUND
♪ AT THE SCENERY
♪ WHAT DO YOU SEE
♪ THERE IS A GHOST
♪ IN YOUR MIND
♪ YOU WANT IT THE MOST ♪
♪ WHEN IT'S ON YOUR DIME
♪ LOOK AROUND
♪ WHAT DO YOU SEE
♪ I'M NOT PLAYING
♪ I'M JUST MESSING AROUND
♪ I'M NOT PLAYING
♪ I'M JUST MESSING AROUND
♪ THIS TIME AROUND
-THIS IS A JOKE.
♪ OH, I'M NOT PLAYING
♪ I'M JUST MESSING AROUND
♪ THIS TIME AROUND
-OH, COME ON. THAT
NEVER HAPPENED.
♪ I'M JUST MESSING AROUND
♪ I'M NOT PLAYING
♪ I'M JUST MESSING AROUND
-READY? GIVE IT ME.
A HUGE EXPLOSION, NOW.
NOT THAT HUGE.
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-[DISTRESSED SHOUTING]
-[SCREAMS]
-WHAT HAPPENED?
-THE GAS TANKS WERE
SUPPOSE TO BE EMPTY.
I-- MAYBE I--
-STEPHANIE: GET OUTTA MY WAY!
-COMING THROUGH!
-KEEP THE CAMERAS ROLLING,
KEEP THE CAMERAS ROLLING!
KEEP THE CAMERA ROLLING.
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-ROLL EVERYWHERE. EVERYTHING
WE'VE GOT. OPEN IT UP.
-MAN: PAN WITH THAT.
KEEP THEM IN THE RIG
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-[CROWD MURMURING]
-[BREATHING HEAVILY]
-[COUGHING]
[GASPING]
-HEY, COME ON. GET
A CLOSE UP OF THIS.
-STILL ROLLING. WE GOT IT.
-[CROWD MURMURING]
-YOU KEPT THE CAMERAS ROLLING.
-HEY, COME ON, MITCH.
-HOW DARE YOU EXPLOIT US
LIKE THAT!
-LOOK, WHAT'D YOU
WANT ME DO, MAN?
QUIT FILMING THIS AND MISS THE
MOST FABULOUS ACTION SEQUENCE
OF THE HISTORY OF TELEVISION?
-GET YOU BUTT OFF MY BEACH.
-MITCH, MITCH, MITCH!
-I MEAN IT! LET ME GO!
-MITCH! NO, MITCH. IT'S
NOT WORTH IT. COME ON.
MITCH, MITCH!
-ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!
-GET OFF THE BEACH RIGHT NOW
OR YOU'LL BE FILMING THE
MOST FABULOUS BROKEN NOSE
IN TELEVISION HISTORY.
-ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY.
THAT'S A WRAP.
[SCOFFS]
-[CROWD MURMURS]
-I HAVE THE TAPE.
I HAVE THE TAPE.
-[GROUP EXCLAIMS AND CLAPS]
-WAIT, WAIT. WHERE'S GARNER?
-HERE I COME. HERE I COME.
-[CROWD WHOOPS]
CAN I SAY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
THE LADY PREFERS THE REAL THING.
-BABY'S GOT IT GOIN' ON.
-BABY'S GOT IT GOIN' ON.
-[GROUP LAUGHS]
-ALL RIGHT. WELL, LET'S SEE
IF YOU GOT IT GOIN' ON IN HERE.
ARE YOU READY?
HERE WE GO! RESCUE BAY.
-OH GOD, I CAN'T WATCH THIS.
-YOU'RE GONNA BE SO
GREAT. ALL RIGHT!
-MATT: OH, COME ON.
-YOU'RE GONNA BE GREAT.
-WOMAN: LOOK AT THIS GUY!
-[GRUNTS] I'LL BE BACK.
-[LAUGHS]
-SUMMER: OH, THERE SHE IS.
-MAN: GREAT SHOT.
-YOU LOOK GREAT!
-HEY, YOU DID A GOOD JOB.
-LOOKS GOOD.
-YOU LOOK GOOD. YOU
LOOK REALLY GREAT.
-WOMAN: UH-OH. SUMMER.
-HONEY. [LAUGHS]
-[GROUP MURMURING]
-[LAUGHS]
-HE LOOKS LIKE A
GORILLA. GIVE ME A BREAK!
-[GROUP EXCLAIMS]
-STOP.
-[LAUGHS]
-WOW. THAT'S AMAZING.
-WHAT, THAT'S IT?
-THAT'S ALL?
-WHERE'S THE REST OF THE MOVIE?
-THAT'S ALL BRAND CUT
TOGETHER TO SHOW THE NETWORK.
-WELL, SO WHAT'S HAPPENING?
I MEAN, ARE THEY GONNA BUY IT?
-NOPE. THEY PASSED.
-[GROUP EXCLAIMS]
-NO, THEY DIDN'T THINK THE
PUBLIC WOULD BE INTERESTED
IN WATCHING LIFEGUARDS
RUNNING AROUND ON THE BEACH.
I'M SORRY.
BUT THEY DID SAY THEY
WERE GONNA SELL THE SHOW
TO FOREIGN COUNTRIES AND
SYNDICATION HERE IN THE STATES.
-FOREIGN COUNTRIES?
-MATT: WELL,
WHAT'S SYNDICATION?
-SUMMER: YOU KNOW,
LIKE THAT SHOW KNIGHT RIDER.
-MATT: OH YEAH,
I'VE SEEN THAT SHOW.
-I CAN'T BELIEVE SOMEONE
ACTUALLY THOUGHT OF THIS
BEFORE ME. [SCOFFS]
-[ENDING THEME MUSIC]
-♪ SOME PEOPLE STAND
IN THE DARKNESS ♪
♪ AFRAID TO STEP
INTO THE LIGHT ♪
♪ SOME PEOPLE NEED
TO HELP SOMEBODY ♪
♪ WHEN THE EDGE OF
SURRENDER'S IN SIGHT ♪
♪ DON'T YOU WORRY
♪ IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT
♪ 'CAUSE I'M ALWAYS READY
♪ I WON'T LET YOU
OUT OF MY SIGHT ♪
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ NEVER YOU FEAR
♪ OH, DON'T YOU FEAR
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ FOREVER AND ALWAYS
♪ I'M ALWAYS HERE
♪ 'CAUSE I'M ALWAYS READY
♪ I WON'T LET YOU
OUT OF MY SIGHT ♪
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ NEVER YOU FEAR
♪ NO, DON'T YOU FEAR
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ FOREVER AND ALWAYS
♪ I'M ALWAYS HERE
-[CROWD CHATTER]
-I'M SURE THE
LIFEGUARDS IN HAWAII
WANT C.J. TO STAY IN THE
EXCHANGE PROGRAM ANOTHER WEEK,
BUT TELL THEM WE NEED
HER BACK HERE BY TUESDAY.
-MAN ON SPEAKER: WILL DO.
-[PHONE RINGS]
-[MAKES STATIC SOUND]
THANK YOU FOR CALLING
DON BRAND PRODUCTIONS.
AT THE SOUND OF THE TONE,
PLEASE LEAVE US A MESSAGE.
[MAKES BEEPING SOUND]
DOLORES, IT'S ME. DOLORES,
HEY. WHAT DID NBC SAY?
YEAH. THEY PASSED?
WHAT ARE YOU TALK--
CBS SAID IT'S A
RIPOFF? HEY, LOOK.
I HAD DINOSAUR PARK BEFORE
JURASSIC PARK WAS EVEN A BOOK.
ABC SAID WHAT?
WELL, WHAT DO THEY KNOW? THEY
PASSED ON ALL IN THE FAMILY.
-GARNER: HEY, YOU!
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!
-WHAT?
-HEY! HEY! SOMEBODY
HELP US OUT HERE!
-BOAT FIRE OFF TOWER 11.
IT'S A RESCUE CODE THREE.
-HELP!
HEY, SOMEBODY HELP!
-[SIREN WAILING]
-GARNER: COULD
USE SOME HELP HERE.
-SORRY, WE'RE BUSY.
-HEY!
-[YELLS]
-DOLORES, YOU
WON'T BELIEVE THIS!
I'M SEEING A WHOLE NEW
ACTION-ADVENTURE SCENE
UNFOLDING RIGHT
BEFORE MY VERY EYES.
-[YELLS]
-AH-- UH-- NO MORE DINOSAURS!
YES, LIFEGUARDS!
AND THEY'RE WEARING--
THEY'RE WEARING BATHING
SUITS. LOVELY BATHING SUITS.
AND BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE, AND--
LISTEN, LISTEN.
WE'RE GOING TO
CALL IT RESCUE BAY.
YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT.
COPYRIGHT THAT. GET OUT.
GET IT COPYRIGHTED.
I'LL CALL YA LATER.
OH, DADDY TAKE ME DOWNTOWN!
-[SHOUTING]
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-LADY: HEY!
-SON, I NEED YOUR KITE.
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-[GRUNTS]
-OH!
-ALL RIGHT. GET UP.
-AH!
-HELP! HELP!
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-OOH!
-HELP! HELP! HELP!
-BACK ME UP.
TAKE MY HAND.
-YOU GUYS OKAY?
-YEAH. SEE YOU ON SHORE.
-OKAY, LET'S GO IN.
-THAT WAS GREAT, YOU GUYS.
-WOO!
-[LAUGHS]
-GOOD GOING OUT THERE.
-THANKS. DID YOU GET YOUR MAN?
-YEAH. WRAPPED HIM UP
AND SHIPPED HIM OFF.
-GREAT.
-WHOA, CONGRATULATIONS!
THIS WAS UNBELIEVABLE!
HOLY-- THAT THING YOU DID WITH
THE KITE WAS FANTASTIC!
IT WAS PERFECT COUNTERPOINT
TO THE ACTION IN THE WATER.
AND YOU WERE ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!
-THANK YOU. NOW
EXCUSE US, PLEASE.
WE HAVE TO GET BACK
TO WORK. SEE YOU GUYS.
-LOOK, JUST PRETEND
I'M NOT HERE, OKAY?
HE'S ALIVE.
-I'D RATHER NOT PRETEND.
-HEY, HEY, LISTEN.
JUST A QUICK QUESTION.
UH, YOU EVER THOUGHT
OF PUTTING MONSTER
WHEELS ON THESE TRUCKS?
OH, JUST A THOUGHT.
MONSTER WHEELS.
-LET ME TAKE A WILD GUESS.
YOU'RE IN THE FILM
BUSINESS. A PRODUCER.
-WELL, TELEVISION.
SERIOUS TELEVISION. DON BRAND.
YEAH, I PRODUCE, DIRECT,
WRITE, EVERYTHING.
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO--
-I WOULDN'T.
-AH. CAN I RIDE
ALONG WITH YOU, MAYBE?
-NO.
-I-- HEY, I'VE DONE RIDE-ALONGS
WITH THE LAPD AND
SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT. HEY!
HEY, COME ON!
WOULDN'T YOU RATHER COOPERATE
AND HAVE AN ACCURATE PORTRAYAL
OF LIFEGUARDS IN ACTION?
-COME ON, YOURSELF. YOU'RE
TALKING ABOUT TELEVISION.
-WHO DO I HAVE TO TALK
TO TO ARRANGE SOMETHING?
-I DON'T KNOW. THE CHIEF.
-CHIEF. CHIEF.
-[EXCITING MUSIC]
-A SERIES ABOUT LIFEGUARDS.
I CAN'T BELIEVE NO ONE'S
EVER THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE!
AH! [EXCLAIMS]
YEAH, DON'T FORGET TO GET
SOME OF THESE BEACH HUMMERS
-WHAT IS THAT TV HUSTLER GUY
DOING ON ONE OF OUR TRUCKS?
-IT'S A RIDE-ALONG.
DIVISION APPROVED IT.
-I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.
-I SORT OF ADVISED HIM
TO TALK TO THE CHIEF.
-YOU? OH, PERFECT. YOU.
-I JUST WANTED
TO GET RID OF HIM.
-IF THIS GUY GETS IN
THE WAY, I'M TELLIN' YA.
-WELL, HE WANTS TO
INCLUDE OUR BOAT RESCUE
IN HIS PILOT EPISODE. [CHUCKLES]
AND HE'S SAID THAT SOME OF US
MIGHT BE ABLE TO PLAY OURSELVES.
-HELLO? THESE HOLLYWOOD-TYPES
WILL SAY ANYTHING TO GET A DEAL.
-IT'S NOT SO FAR
FETCHED, YA KNOW.
I STUDIED DRAMA IN COLLEGE.
-MITCH: OH.
-I EVEN PLAYED MEDEA ONCE.
-OH. SO YOU WANNA BE ON TV, NOW?
-I DON'T KNOW.
THE MORE I THINK ABOUT IT,
WHY NOT? WOULDN'T YOU?
-NO WAY! 100 PERCENT, NO WAY!
-SO WHO MAKE BETTER
LIFEGUARDS: MEN OR WOMEN?
-UM, MEN, DEFINITELY. COME ON.
MEN ARE BETTER IN EVERY
ASPECT OF THIS JOB.
-WOMEN, DEFINITELY.
WE HAVE MUCH BETTER INSTINCTS
'CAUSE WE CAN SOLVE
PROBLEMS BEFORE THEY HAPPEN.
-NOW, MATT SAYS YOU'RE A COUPLE.
DOES THAT MAKE IT
HARDER TO WORK TOGETHER?
-YEAH, SOMETIMES.
-HARDER? NEVER, NO.
IT NEVER GET IN THE WAY AT ALL.
-THAT'S STRANGE.
SUMMER SAID IT DOES.
-SHE DID?
-YEAH.
THAT'S FUNNY.
MATT SAYS MEN MAKE BETTER
LIFEGUARDS THAN WOMEN.
-HE DID?
-HEY, LOOK. I'M
JUST HERE TO OBSERVE,
JUST GO ON ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS.
WE'LL CHECK UP BACK HERE,
WHATEVER YOU GOTTA DO.
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO AFFECT
THINGS ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM,
OKAY? HEY, I JUST WANNA--
WOW, DRAMA. I LOVE IT.
BEAUTIFUL.
♪ EVERYTHING I SEE
-♪ MAKES MY HEART BEAT ♪
♪ I'M FALLING DEEP
♪ EVERYTHING I SEE
♪ MAKES MY HEART BEAT
♪ I'M FALLING DEEP
♪ I'M IN A LUCID STATE OF MIND
WATCHING EVERYTHING BELOW ♪
♪ YOU SEE ME WALKING ON THE STREETS
ON MY FACE THERE'S A GLOW ♪
♪ START MY MORNING WITH A COFFEE
SHE'S IN GREEN LITTLE HOTTIE ♪
♪ BROWN HAIR SMOKING BODY
I JUST SMILE, YOU CAN STOP ME ♪
♪ I'M AT THE BEACH, IN THE MORNING FOG
♪ FELL IN LOVE WITH LULULEMON,
WALKING HER DOG ♪
♪ IN LINE AT THE CORNER STORE
♪ KNEW IT WOULD LAST FOREVER
WHEN SHE WALKED IN THE DOOR ♪
♪ EVERYTHING I SEE
♪ MAKES MY HEART BEAT
♪ I'M FALLING DEEP
♪ EVERYTHING I SEE
♪ MAKES MY HEART BEAT
♪ I'M FALLING DEEP
♪ IT ONLY TOOK ONE SECOND
TO KNOW THAT I WANT YOU ♪
♪ TO KNOW THAT I NEED YOU
♪ I HOPE THAT YOU'D NEED ME TOO
♪ I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU TO COME OVER
♪ AND TELL ME YOU LOVE ME
♪ THAT'D BE TOO EASY
♪ I'LL BE HERE WAITING
♪ EVERYTHING I SEE
♪ MAKES MY HEART BEAT
♪ I'M FALLING DEEP
♪ EVERYTHING I SEE
-THE HUMAN DRAMA?
-YEAH. YOU KNOW, THE
PERSONAL SIDE OF LIFEGUARDING.
I MEAN, I WANT THIS SHOW TO
BE AS MUCH ABOUT THE PEOPLE
AS I DO ABOUT THE ACTION.
I MEAN, PEOPLE ARE
NOT GONNA COME BACK
AND WATCH RESCUE
BAY WEEK AFTER WEEK
UNLESS THEY--
THEY LIKE THE PEOPLE.
UNLESS THEY CAN
SHARE THEIR LIVES.
-[CHUCKLES] NOTHING TO
DO WITH WOMEN IN BIKINIS?
-WELL, HEY, DOESN'T HURT.
BUT YOU KNOW, PEOPLE WILL
JUST NOT WATCH THIS SHOW
UNLESS WE TELL REALLY
GOOD STORIES ABOUT
INTERESTING PEOPLE.
YOU'RE INTERESTING, STEPHANIE.
TELL ME A GOOD STORY.
TELL ME A PERSONAL STORY.
-WELL, I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T
BE TELLING YOU THIS,
BUT MITCH AND I DATED
WHEN I FIRST STARTED
LIFEGUARDING HERE.
AND THEN WE SPLIT UP.
WELL, ACTUALLY, I LEFT.
SEE, I WAS MARRIED AT THE
TIME, BUT MITCH DIDN'T KNOW.
WELL, ACTUALLY, I WAS SEPARATED.
IS THIS BORING TO YOU?
-OH, NO. PLEASE KEEP GOING.
-SO I FINALLY GOT DIVORCED
AND WHEN I CAME BACK
TO WORK AT BAYWATCH,
IT WAS REALLY AWKWARD
BECAUSE I WAS MITCH'S BOSS.
BUT NOW, EVERYTHING'S FINE.
BUT IT WAS REALLY
DRAMATIC AT THE TIME.
-OH, DRAMA. I LOVE DRAMA.
-LOOK, COME ON, MITCH.
-OH, NO, NO, NO.
-EVERYONE'S TOLD ME
ABOUT THEIR PERSONAL LIFE.
WHY WON'T YOU?
-LOOK, LET'S GET
ONE THING STRAIGHT.
I DON'T WANT ANYTHING
TO DO WITH THIS. GOT IT?
-YEAH. OKAY. SO YOU EVER HAD AN
AFFAIR WITH A COLLEAGUE?
-ARE YOU DEAF?
-NO. I'M JUST PERSISTENT, MAN.
LOOK, COME ON, MITCH. WE GOTTA
GET TOGETHER ON THIS THING.
LIFE IS SHORT AND SO IS MY
SHOOTING SCHEDULE. [CHUCKLES]
LOOK, I'M ONLY
GOING TO BE SHOOTING
ON YOUR BEACH HERE FOR TWO DAYS.
-YOU'RE FILMING AN
ENTIRE PILOT IN TWO DAYS?
-NO. AN ENTIRE
PRESENTATION, YOU SEE?
NETWORKS DON'T SPLURGE
ON PILOTS ANYMORE.
IT'S JUST A LITTLE TEN MINUTES.
YOU SLAP TOGETHER A
SCENE, SOME DIALOGUE,
A MAIN TITLE, YOU KNOW.
AND THEY EITHER PUT YOU
ON THE FALL SCHEDULE,
OR POW, YOU'RE A GHOST.
-BASED ON TEN MINUTES?
-HEY. THIS IS GONNA BE
THE BEST TEN MINUTES
THEY'VE EVER SEEN.
SEE, LOOK. I GOT A
FEELING ABOUT YOU, MITCH.
LOOK, WAIT, WAIT. I WANT
YOU TO PLAY MIKE TOWER.
-WHO?
-MIKE TOWER, THE CHARACTER
I'M BASING ON YOU.
I WANT YOU TO PLAY HIM.
-FORGET IT.
-NO, WAIT! LOOK, MAN, C'MON!
YOU COULD BE A BIG STAR!
YOU'VE GOT EVERYTHING.
THE HAIR, THE EYES, THE
SEX APPEAL, THE HAIR.
-THANKS, BUT NO THANKS.
-LOOK, LOOK. WELL, HANG ON.
I'M TELLING YOU, YOU
COULD DO THIS. TRUST ME.
-TRUST? LOOK, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT IT'S LIKE IN HOLLYWOOD,
BUT IN MY WORLD, TRUST
HAS GOTTA BE EARNED.
-TRUST HAS GOTTA BE EARNED?
I LIKE THAT LINE. THAT'S
PRETTY GOOD. WHAT IS IT?
IN MY WORLD, TRUST IS--
IS WHAT? SAY IT AGAIN.
-TRUST HAS GOT TO BE EARNED.
-[ENGINE STARTS]
-TRUST HAS GOT TO
BE EARNED. SOLID.
LOOK, IF YOU CHANGE YOU
MIND WE'RE CASTING TOMORROW--
TOMORROW MORNING.
-[ENERGETIC ROCK MUSIC]
-[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
-YEAH, HERE.
-LADY: THANKS.
-YOU'RE WELCOME.
-LADY: THANKS.
-HE'S COMING
RIGHT NOW. ASK HIM.
-NO, YOU ASK HIM.
-MATT: ASK HIM.
-MR. BRAND?
-YEAH?
-WHO'S GONNA BE
PLAYING MATT AND ME?
-OH, YOUR CHARACTERS
ARE ALREADY CAST.
I'VE GOT ELAINE ELLIOT,
DAVID BATTLE,
BIG DAY-TIME SOAP OPERA STARS.
HUGE FOLLOWING AND THEY
BOTH HAVE NETWORK DEALS.
-ISN'T HE THAT REAL
MUSCLE-BOUND GUY?
-YEAH, BUT I MEAN,
HE'S KINDA SENSITIVE
AND DID I MENTION HE
HAS A NETWORK DEAL?
-WELL, WHAT IS SHE LIKE?
-MM, I DUNNO.
CUTE, PERKY, ATHLETIC,
AND A BIG NETWORK DEAL.
-[BOTH] NETWORK DEALS? [SCOFFS]
-GARNER: HEY, STEPHANIE.
-HI.
-HEY. I THOUGHT YOU'D
BE OUT THERE AUDITIONING.
-SEE THOSE TWO
WOMEN OVER THERE?
-GARNER: MM-HMM.
-THEY'RE NETWORK
CASTING DIRECTORS.
THEY'RE GONNA HAVE EVERYONE
RUN AND SWIM FIRST,
AND THEN, THEY'LL
NARROW DOWN THE FIELD.
-[LAUGHS]
-DON WANTS ME TO GO LAST SO
I'LL STAND OUT BY COMPARISON.
-MHMM.
WHY ARE THE
ACTRESSES ALL BLONDE?
-UM. I GUESS SO I'LL
REALLY STAND OUT.
-HEY, LISTEN, SWEETHEART.
JUST A LITTLE LAST
MINUTE COACHING, OKAY?
WHEN YOU GET OUT THERE,
JUST BE YOURSELF.
IF YOU DO, YOU'LL BLOW
THE COMPETITION AWAY.
-UM. DON, WE WERE
JUST WONDERING,
WHY ARE ALL THE
ACTRESSES BLONDE?
-WELL, THE NETWORK WANTS
YOUR CHARACTER TO BE BLONDE,
BUT THERE'S NO PROBLEM THERE
BECAUSE WE CAN
JUST DYE YOUR HAIR.
YA KNOW, YOU JUST GO
OUT THERE AND BE YOU.
-[CHUCKLES]
-AND YOU. MAN, I GOT A GUY
THAT LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE YOU,
HE'S EVEN MORE YOU
THAN YOU. [LAUGHS]
-PROBABLY WESLEY
SNIPES. [CHUCKLES]
-UH, MORE LIKE SHERMAN
HEMSLEY. [LAUGHS]
SEE YA.
-BY THE WAY, YOU
KNOW, STEPHANIE,
MITCH'S CHARACTER'S GOIN' FIRST.
UH, WHERE IS HE?
-UH, HE'S BUSY. VERY BUSY.
-COULDN'T BARE TO WATCH, HUH?
-YOU GOT IT.
-[ENERGETIC ROCK MUSIC]
-♪ MAYBE IT'S THE WAY YOU MOVE
♪ THAT KEEPS ME UP AT NIGHT
♪ CAUSE BABY YOU'RE THE DREAM
♪ I WANT TO BE JUST LIKE
♪ MAYBE I CAN GET IT RIGHT
♪ JUST GOTTA CHECK OUT THE VIEW
♪ HEY! I WANNA BE JUST LIKE YOU YEAH!
♪ YOU MAKE IT LOOK SO GOOD
♪ I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S TRUE
♪ YOU DO IT WITH YOUR OWN STYLE
♪ I WANNA BE JUST LIKE YOU
♪ YOU'RE TAKING ME HIGHER AND HIGHER
♪ BABY YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE
♪ I WANNA BE JUST LIKE YOU
♪ MAYBE IT'S THE COUNTDOWN
♪ 'CAUSE I'M RUNNING OUTTA TIME
♪ I GET A LITTLE CLOSER
♪ TO GETTING IT RIGHT
♪ BABY YOU'RE THE REAL THING ♪
♪ AND WHAT I KNOW IS TRUE
♪ I WANNA BE JUST LIKE YOU - YEAH!
♪ GONNA GO THE EXTRA MILE
♪ WANNA CHECK OUT THE VIEW
♪ DO WITH IT A LITTLE STYLE
♪ I WANNA BE JUST LIKE YOU
♪ TAKING IT HIGHER AND HIGHER
♪ BABY YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE
♪ I WANNA BE JUST LIKE YOU - YEAH!
♪ AND IF I FALL
♪ KNOW I'LL TRY
♪ AGAIN SOMEDAY
♪ I'M GONNA RIDE
♪ THE HIGHEST WAVE
♪ YEAH!
♪ YOU MAKE IT LOOK SO GOOD ♪
♪ I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S TRUE
♪ YOU DO IT WITH YOUR OWN STYLE
♪ AND I WANNA BE JUST LIKE YOU
♪ YOU'RE TAKING ME HIGHER AND HIGHER
♪ BABY YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE
♪ I WANNA BE JUST LIKE YOU
♪ WANNA BE JUST LIKE
♪ I WANNA BE JUST LIKE YOU YEAH
♪ I WANNA BE JUST LIKE
♪ I WANNA BE JUST LIKE YOU YEAH
-HI.
-GARNER ELLERBEE,
MEET SLY HUTCHINSON.
-IN PERSON, MY BROTHER.
LARGE AND IN CHARGE.
-[LAUGHS] THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE.
-[CHUCKLES] THIS
IS UNBELIEVABLE.
-[SCOFFS]
-OH YEAH, I CAN PLAY
HIM WITH MY EYES CLOSED.
AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A THING.
-WELL, I'LL LEAVE YOU TWO
GUYS ALONE. OPEN UP TO HIM.
BEFORE THE END OF THE DAY,
YOU WON'T KNOW WHETHER
YOU'RE LOOKIN' IN A MIRROR
OR SLY, HERE. [CHUCKLES]
-[LAUGHS]
-[LAUGHS]
HM.
-[CHUCKLES]
-WELL, WHAT HAPPENED?
DID THEY LIKE ME?
DID I GET THE PART?
-ARE YOU KIDDING?
THEY LOVED YOU.
YOU KNOCKED 'EM OUT, I TELL YA.
LISTEN, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
I'LL CALL YOU RIGHT AFTER
WE MAKE THE FINAL DECISION.
YOU SHOULD FEEL VERY
GOOD ABOUT THIS.
-I DO. THANK YOU.
-HEY, LISTEN, I GOTTA
GO AUDITION A VICTIM.
-OKAY. YES!
-COME ON, WILL YOU
GUYS SHOW ME SOME PANIC?
WAVE YOUR ARMS, COME ON!
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'? THIS ISN'T
THE JOFFREY BALLET, MOVE!
GET THE BIG GUY TO MOVE.
-[SHOUTING IN DISTRESS]
-HELP! HELP!
-VICTIMS IN THE WATER!
-WAVE, COME ON!
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-WHO IS THAT?
SHE'S NOT ON THE LIST.
-DON: I DUNNO.
-LET'S GET HER NAME.
-[INHALING AND EXHALING LOUDLY]
-[INSPIRATIONAL ROCK MUSIC]
-STEPHANIE.
-C.J., WELCOME HOME!
HOW WAS HAWAII?
-OH, GOD, THE LIFEGUARD
EXCHANGE WAS GREAT!
BUT I CAN'T BELIEVE
THEY'RE FILMING
A TV SERIES PILOT
HERE ON THE BEACH!
-I KNOW. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
AND THE CHARACTER
ARE BASED ON US.
-I HEARD.
-YOU KNOW, WHEN I
WAS A LITTLE GIRL,
I WORSHIPED KATHRYN
HEPBURN AND SOPHIA LOREN.
I MEAN, THEY WERE SO
STRONG AND SO BEAUTIFUL.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I MAY
ACTUALLY GET THE CHANCE
TO BECOME AN ACTRESS
LIKE THEY WERE.
WOO, YOU'RE WORKIN'
OUT THERE PRETTY HARD.
-I GOTTA FIRM UP.
-RIGHT NOW? YOU
HAVEN'T EVEN CHANGED.
-WELL, I GOT CAST IN THE SHOW!
-YOU GOT CAST?
-YEAH! AS A LIFEGUARD
NAMED SHELIA.
MY SCRIPT'S IN THE BAG.
-SHELIA AND MIKE TOWER EMBRACE
IN FRONT OF THE FIREPLACE?
C.J., THIS IS ME! IT'S
MITCH AND ME! I'M SHELIA.
-WELL, STEPH, I'M SORRY. THEY--
THE CASTING DIRECTOR
SAW ME MAKE A RESCUE
AND SHE SAID I WAS
PERFECT FOR THE PART.
-HOW CAN YOU BE MORE
PERFECT TO PLAY ME
THAN I AM TO PLAY ME?
I'M A MORE PERFECT
ME THAN YOU ARE!
-UM. WELL, THE CHARACTER'S
REALLY ONLY BASED ON YOU.
-[EXHALES LOUDLY] IT'S
OBVIOUS THAT THEY CAST YOU
BECAUSE YOU'RE BLONDE AND
BUILT THE WAY YOU ARE.
-THAT HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH IT.
-I MEAN, THIS IS SO TYPICAL.
-[SCOFFS]
IT JUST SO HAPPENS
THAT I CAN ACT.
I PLAYED MEDEA IN HIGH SCHOOL.
-OH YEAH? WELL, I
PLAYED MEDEA IN COLLEGE.
-LOOK. I DON'T WANT
TO FIGHT ABOUT THIS.
-WELL, WHAT DO YOU
SUGGEST THAT WE DO?
-[KNOCKING]
-WHAT?
-WHAT, WHAT, WHAT?
-WHICH ONE OF US IS
BEST SUITED TO PLAY ME?
-SHE'S NOT YOU.
SHE'S BASED ON YOU.
-YOU CAN BE HONEST.
-DON'T PUT ME IN
THE MIDDLE OF THIS.
-WELL, IT' WASN'T MY IDEA.
-MITCH, LOOK. THIS SCENE
IS ABOUT YOU AND ME.
COME ON, TELL US WHICH ONE
OF US PLAYS ME THE BEST.
HERE. YOU READ MIKE TOWER.
-THIS IS ABOUT US!
-I TOLD YOU.
-WELL, HOW DID BRAND
GET THIS INFORMATION?
-RESEARCH.
-YOU TOLD HIM INTIMATE
DETAILS ABOUT US?
-MITCH, THE ONLY REASON
AN AUDIENCE WILL COME BACK
TO RESCUE BAY WEEK AFTER WEEK,
IS IF THEY LIKE THE PEOPLE
AND WANT TO SHARE THEIR LIVES.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO FIRST?
-WITH PLEASURE.
WE CAN SHARE THE SCRIPT.
-MITCH: NO, THAT'S OKAY.
I KNOW THE LINES. HUH.
-OKAY. ACTION!
-OH!
-SO MIKE, DID I CATCH
YOU ON THE REBOUND?
-NO, SHELIA. YOU
STOLE ME AT HALF COURT.
-OH, SO WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
-WELL, HOW 'BOUT A LITTLE GAME
OF ONE-ON-ONE IN CATALINA?
-HOW ABOUT A PRACTICE
GAME RIGHT NOW?
-[MOANS SOFTLY]
-CONVINCING ENOUGH?
-YEAH, THAT WAS...
THAT WAS REALLY GOOD.
-OKAY.
MOVE OVER. I'LL SHOW
YOU HOW IT'S DONE.
SO, WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
-[SCOFFS]
-COME ON, MITCH! CONCENTRATE.
SO WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
-HOW ABOUT A LITTLE GAME
OF ONE-ON-ONE CATALINA?
-HOW ABOUT A PRACTICE
GAME RIGHT NOW?
-[BOTH MOANING SOFTLY]
-OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, CUT!
THAT'S ENOUGH.
-NO ONE CAN PLAY ME LIKE ME.
-[CHUCKLES]
-WELL, THAT DOESN'T
CHANGE ANYTHING.
THE NETWORK STILL WANTS
ME TO PLAY SHELIA.
-COME ON, MITCH. CAN'T
YOU TALK TO BRAND?
-NO, NO. THE WHOLE
THING STOPS RIGHT HERE.
I AM NOT GONNA GET
INVOLVED WITH THIS.
-MITCH, PLEASE--
-STEPHANIE, STE--
IF THE NETWORK DOESN'T
WANT YOU TO PLAY SHELIA,
THEN WHAT BETTER PERSON
TO PLAY YOU THAN C.J.
BECAUSE C.J. KNOWS YOU...
-YES.
AND SHE KNOWS HER
WAY AROUND THE BEACH.
-YOU'RE RIGHT.
WELL, THAT'S THAT, THEN.
GOOD LUCK, C.J.
I GUESS THAT'S
ALL I HAVE TO SAY.
-MM.
-BOO!
-WHAT, WHAT?
-MITCH, HEY. PERFECT TIMING.
HEY, LISTEN. I HAVE FINALLY
FOUND THE PERFECT MIKE TOWER.
YOU, MIKE TOWER, SAME THING.
MITCH, I WANT YOU TO
MEET DOLPH APOLGANGER.
-IT IS GOOD TO MEET YOU.
-ISN'T HE PERFECT?
-COULD I TALK TO
YOU FOR A MINUTE?
-YEAH, I GOTTA GET 'OL DOLPHY
DOWN HERE TO WARDROBE, THOUGH.
I FEEL LIKE YOU CAN SHOW HIM
THE ROPES A LITTLE WHILE.
IN FACT, I WANT YOU TO TEACH
HIM EVERYTHING YOU KNOW.
IN FACT, I TELL YA WHAT,
PAL. I'M GONNA MAKE YOU
MY NUMBER ONE TECHNICAL
MAIN MAN ADVISER, OKAY?
-NOW, WAIT HERE. I'LL BE BACK.
-I'LL BE BACK?
UNBELIEVABLE. THIS
IS UNBELIEVABLE.
-[INDISTINCT TALKING]
-[ROCK MUSIC]
-WE'RE READY FOR
YOU IN FIVE MINUTES.
-[INDISTINCT TALKING]
-[WOMEN LAUGHING]
-MATT, LOOK. SHE'S
WHITE AS A GHOST.
-YEAH, AND HE LOOKS
LIKE A GORILLA.
-WE SHOULD'VE JUST
PLAYED OURSELVES.
-WELL, REMEMBER, WE
DON'T HAVE NETWORK DEALS.
-[INDISTINCT TALKING]
-YEAH, JUST SET THAT UP
AND MARK IT ABOUT TEN FEET.
-YOU GOT IT.
-OFFICER. YEAH, OFFICER.
LOOK, PAL. TIME IS
MONEY HERE, OKAY?
WE GOTTA CLEAR THE SET.
-OH YEAH, SURE.
-OKAY? I APPRECIATE
WHAT YOU DO FOR ME.
-I'LL BE RIGHT OVER HERE.
-CAN I GET A COFFEE?
-[SWANKY MUSIC]
-OH, EXCUSE ME.
-OH, HEY. [CHUCKLES]
-LADY: THANKS. BYE.
-UH, [CHUCKLES] SLY, WE
DON'T WEAR WEAPONS THAT LARGE
AND UH, I CERTAINLY
DON'T WALK LIKE THAT.
-SO WHAT? THIS IS TV, MY MAN.
LOOK HERE, IF I
PLAYED YOU AS YOU,
WOULDN'T BE NOBODY
WATCHIN' THE SHOW.
-NOW WAIT JUST A SECOND.
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHIN'.
I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR--
-I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, MY BROTHER.
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE YOUR
RESPONSIBILITIES OVER THERE
AND UH, LIKE PRACTICE
A LITTLE CROWD CONTROL,
LIKE A GOOD BROTHER. A'IGHT?
A'IGHT. CIAO!
-BABY. [GIGGLES]
-OH, EXCUSE ME?
-OH, DON'T TELL ME
YOU'RE GETTIN' SHY ON ME,
ARE YA, SLY BABY?
-OH, WAIT, WAIT,
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
UM, NO, BABY.
YOU KNOW ME. MR. LARGE
AND IN CHARGE.
-[CROWD MURMURS]
-[MOANS]
-MAN: LUCKY GUY.
-WHOA, HEY!
-DAWN?
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO. WAIT
A MINUTE, NO NO, UH-UH.
WHA-- WHA--
WHAT IS UP WITH THIS?
-IT'S CALLED UH,
KISSING, MY MAN.
YOU SHOULD LEARN HOW TO DO IT.
-SLY?
UH, BABY...
WHO ARE YOU?
-NAME'S GARNER, AND
IT APPEARS, MR. SLY,
THAT I CAN PLAY YOU BETTER
THAN YOU CAN PLAY ME.
-[CROWD GASPS]
I AM NOT ONE OF YOUR STUNT MEN,
SO YOU NEED TO BE
VERY, VERY CAREFUL.
-COOL, COOL, COOL.
-MY BROTHER.
-[GROANS]
-[CROWD MURMURS]
-ALL RIGHT--
[STATIC DROWNS OUT SPEECH].
CAN I HAVE YOUR ATT-- [STATIC]
CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION?
COULD YOU LISTEN UP, PLEASE?
HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO.
WE GOT THREE CAMERA
POSITIONS ON THE BEACH
AND TWO IN THE WATER.
I WANNA GO ALL THE WAY
THROUGH THIS SCENE,
SO IF YOU MAKE ANY MISTAKES,
JUST KEEP THE ACTION GOING.
YOU FAKE IT, WE'LL MAKE IT.
WE'LL PICK IT UP
LATER IN COVERAGE.
OKAY, LET'S MAKE THIS.
LET'S GET A SLATE.
CAMERA'S ROLLING.
-MAN: SPEED.
-STICKS. AND ACTION!
-[WOMEN LAUGHING]
-HELP!
-[SIREN BLARING]
-LET'S GO, MAN! COME ON!
-[LAUGHING]
-LADY: OH, HEY! WATCH OUT!
-MAN VICTIM: HEY! HELP US!
-WOMAN VICTIM: OVER HERE!
-WHAT IS THIS?
-HOLLYWOOD'S ACCURATE
PORTRAYAL OF LIFEGUARDS.
-♪ THERE IS A ROAD
♪ TO FEELING FINE
♪ WE'RE PLAYING A ROLL
♪ FOR WANDERING EYES
♪ LOOK AROUND
♪ AT THE SCENERY
♪ WHAT DO YOU SEE
♪ THERE IS A GHOST
♪ IN YOUR MIND
♪ YOU WANT IT THE MOST ♪
♪ WHEN IT'S ON YOUR DIME
♪ LOOK AROUND
♪ WHAT DO YOU SEE
♪ I'M NOT PLAYING
♪ I'M JUST MESSING AROUND
♪ I'M NOT PLAYING
♪ I'M JUST MESSING AROUND
♪ THIS TIME AROUND
-THIS IS A JOKE.
♪ OH, I'M NOT PLAYING
♪ I'M JUST MESSING AROUND
♪ THIS TIME AROUND
-OH, COME ON. THAT
NEVER HAPPENED.
♪ I'M JUST MESSING AROUND
♪ I'M NOT PLAYING
♪ I'M JUST MESSING AROUND
-READY? GIVE IT ME.
A HUGE EXPLOSION, NOW.
NOT THAT HUGE.
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-[DISTRESSED SHOUTING]
-[SCREAMS]
-WHAT HAPPENED?
-THE GAS TANKS WERE
SUPPOSE TO BE EMPTY.
I-- MAYBE I--
-STEPHANIE: GET OUTTA MY WAY!
-COMING THROUGH!
-KEEP THE CAMERAS ROLLING,
KEEP THE CAMERAS ROLLING!
KEEP THE CAMERA ROLLING.
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-ROLL EVERYWHERE. EVERYTHING
WE'VE GOT. OPEN IT UP.
-MAN: PAN WITH THAT.
KEEP THEM IN THE RIG
-[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
-[CROWD MURMURING]
-[BREATHING HEAVILY]
-[COUGHING]
[GASPING]
-HEY, COME ON. GET
A CLOSE UP OF THIS.
-STILL ROLLING. WE GOT IT.
-[CROWD MURMURING]
-YOU KEPT THE CAMERAS ROLLING.
-HEY, COME ON, MITCH.
-HOW DARE YOU EXPLOIT US
LIKE THAT!
-LOOK, WHAT'D YOU
WANT ME DO, MAN?
QUIT FILMING THIS AND MISS THE
MOST FABULOUS ACTION SEQUENCE
OF THE HISTORY OF TELEVISION?
-GET YOU BUTT OFF MY BEACH.
-MITCH, MITCH, MITCH!
-I MEAN IT! LET ME GO!
-MITCH! NO, MITCH. IT'S
NOT WORTH IT. COME ON.
MITCH, MITCH!
-ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!
-GET OFF THE BEACH RIGHT NOW
OR YOU'LL BE FILMING THE
MOST FABULOUS BROKEN NOSE
IN TELEVISION HISTORY.
-ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY.
THAT'S A WRAP.
[SCOFFS]
-[CROWD MURMURS]
-I HAVE THE TAPE.
I HAVE THE TAPE.
-[GROUP EXCLAIMS AND CLAPS]
-WAIT, WAIT. WHERE'S GARNER?
-HERE I COME. HERE I COME.
-[CROWD WHOOPS]
CAN I SAY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
THE LADY PREFERS THE REAL THING.
-BABY'S GOT IT GOIN' ON.
-BABY'S GOT IT GOIN' ON.
-[GROUP LAUGHS]
-ALL RIGHT. WELL, LET'S SEE
IF YOU GOT IT GOIN' ON IN HERE.
ARE YOU READY?
HERE WE GO! RESCUE BAY.
-OH GOD, I CAN'T WATCH THIS.
-YOU'RE GONNA BE SO
GREAT. ALL RIGHT!
-MATT: OH, COME ON.
-YOU'RE GONNA BE GREAT.
-WOMAN: LOOK AT THIS GUY!
-[GRUNTS] I'LL BE BACK.
-[LAUGHS]
-SUMMER: OH, THERE SHE IS.
-MAN: GREAT SHOT.
-YOU LOOK GREAT!
-HEY, YOU DID A GOOD JOB.
-LOOKS GOOD.
-YOU LOOK GOOD. YOU
LOOK REALLY GREAT.
-WOMAN: UH-OH. SUMMER.
-HONEY. [LAUGHS]
-[GROUP MURMURING]
-[LAUGHS]
-HE LOOKS LIKE A
GORILLA. GIVE ME A BREAK!
-[GROUP EXCLAIMS]
-STOP.
-[LAUGHS]
-WOW. THAT'S AMAZING.
-WHAT, THAT'S IT?
-THAT'S ALL?
-WHERE'S THE REST OF THE MOVIE?
-THAT'S ALL BRAND CUT
TOGETHER TO SHOW THE NETWORK.
-WELL, SO WHAT'S HAPPENING?
I MEAN, ARE THEY GONNA BUY IT?
-NOPE. THEY PASSED.
-[GROUP EXCLAIMS]
-NO, THEY DIDN'T THINK THE
PUBLIC WOULD BE INTERESTED
IN WATCHING LIFEGUARDS
RUNNING AROUND ON THE BEACH.
I'M SORRY.
BUT THEY DID SAY THEY
WERE GONNA SELL THE SHOW
TO FOREIGN COUNTRIES AND
SYNDICATION HERE IN THE STATES.
-FOREIGN COUNTRIES?
-MATT: WELL,
WHAT'S SYNDICATION?
-SUMMER: YOU KNOW,
LIKE THAT SHOW KNIGHT RIDER.
-MATT: OH YEAH,
I'VE SEEN THAT SHOW.
-I CAN'T BELIEVE SOMEONE
ACTUALLY THOUGHT OF THIS
BEFORE ME. [SCOFFS]
-[ENDING THEME MUSIC]