Baywatch (1989–2001): Season 2, Episode 16 - Now Sit Right Back and You'll Hear a Tale - full transcript

A totally weird weekend begins when after Eddie slips and hits his head, he and Shauni respond to a stranded jet skier when they find Gilligan and Mary Ann stranded on a nearby island. Taking them back to Baywatch headquarters, things get even more weird when Captain Thorpe wants to make a TV movie about Gilligan, Mary Ann and the all the Baywatch team with millions he just won in a lottery. While taking a boat out to show the two "castaways" around, they run into a storm and Eddie, Shauni (Ginger), Gilligan, Mary Ann, Harvey (the Professor), Captain Thorpe (the Millionaire) and Garner (the Skipper) get stranded on another tropical isle in the middle of nowhere and it really becomes "Gilligan's Island."

[THEME MUSIC]

♪ SOME PEOPLE STAND
IN THE DARKNESS ♪

♪ AFRAID TO STEP
INTO THE LIGHT ♪

♪ SOME PEOPLE NEED
TO HELP SOMEBODY ♪

♪ WHEN THE EDGE OF
SURRENDER'S IN SIGHT ♪

♪ DON'T YOU WORRY ♪

♪ IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I'M ALWAYS READY ♪

♪ I WON'T LET YOU
OUT OF MY SIGHT ♪

♪ I'LL BE READY
[I'LL BE READY] ♪

♪ NEVER YOU FEAR
[NO, DON'T YOU FEAR] ♪



♪ I'LL BE READY ♪

♪ FOREVER AND ALWAYS,
I'M ALWAYS HERE ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I'M ALWAYS READY ♪

♪ I WON'T LET YOU
OUT OF MY SIGHT ♪

♪ I'LL BE READY
[I'LL BE READY] ♪

♪ NEVER YOU FEAR
[NO, DON'T YOU FEAR] ♪

♪ I'LL BE READY ♪

♪ FOREVER AND ALWAYS,
I'M ALWAYS HERE ♪

[THEME MUSIC]

-THERE YOU ARE.

OKAY, TAKE IT AWAY.

[CROWD NOISE]

-HEY, MY CLEVERNESS DOESN'T
STOP WITH INVENTIONS,

I GOT ALL SORTS OF GREAT IDEAS



ON HOW TO DO JUST
ABOUT EVERYTHING.

-COME ON.

[LAUGHING]

-WHY DON'T YOU GET REALLY
CLEVER AND FAX YOUR LUNCH OVER.

-FAX SNACKS, I LIKE IT.
IT'S GOT A NICE RING TO IT.

[LAUGHING]

-WE THOUGHT YOU
WERE GONNA PANIC

IF YOU KNEW THAT THE ISLAND
WAS GOING UNDER WATER.

-IT'S MY DUTY TO PROTECT
YOU, AFTER ALL I'M THE

STRONG, SOLID
MALE AND YOU'RE THE
FRAIL HELPLESS FEMALE.

-YES YOU BIG STRONG MAN YOU.

-EDDIE, WHEN I LEFT
YOU AT HOME THIS MORNING

YOU WERE WATCHING
GILLIGAN'S ISLAND,

AND NOW YOU'RE WATCHING IT HERE.

DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE
JUST A LITTLE BIT FIXATED?

-UH UH, IT'S A
DIFFERENT EPISODE.

ON DIFFERENT CHANNELS
ALL DAY LONG.

MOVE, YOU'RE BLOCKING MARY ANN!

-WE MUST GET ORGANIZED.
HOW ARE WE GOING TO STAY AFLOAT?

-WHY DON'T WE BUILD
AN ARK LIKE NOAH DID?

-THAT'S A WONDERFUL IDEA.

WE'LL TAKE THE RAFT THE
MEN STARTED TO BUILD

A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO AND
WE'LL PUT A NEW HUT ON IT.

-GOD, LOOK AT GINGER.

ALL THOSE YEARS ON THE SAME
ISLAND WITH THE SAME DRESS

AND SHE STILL LOOKS FANTASTIC.

-HOW LONG HAVE THEY
ALL BEEN SITTING THERE?

-TOO LONG, MUCH TOO LONG.
THEIR EYES HAVE GLAZED OVER.

-THANK YOU.

[LAUGHTER]

-HEY, YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE IN UNIFORM PAL.

-YEAH, YEAH, YEAH
NEXT COMMERCIAL.

-GARNER, I'M SURPRISED
AT YOU WATCHING THIS.

-HEY LOOK, I JUST SAT
DOWN TO TIME MY SHOE.

-YEAH OKAY, WHAT DO YOU SAY
WE ALL STOP WATCHING GILLIGAN

AND DO WHAT WE'RE
SUPPOSED TO BE DOING, HUH?

[SHOUTING]

-COME ON, DON'T
TOUCH THAT DIAL.

THIS IS MY FAVORITE EPISODE.
IT'S THE ONE WHERE

THE PROFESSOR THINKS THE
ISLAND IS SINKING SO HE DEVISES

THIS BRILLIANT SCHEME TO BUILD
A BOAT AND THEN THEY SPLIT

JUST BEFORE THE TIDE
GOES OUT. IT'S GREAT.

[LAUGHING]

-DID I MISS A
MEETING OR SOMETHING?

-AH NO CAPTAIN, WE WERE JUST

CHECKING OUT THE
STORM REPORT THERE.

-THE WEATHER STARTED
GETTING ROUGH.

-ALL I SEE IS SUNSHINE.

FIGURING OUT HOW TO
SPEND ALL MY MILLIONS.

-OH COME ON, CAPTAIN, YOU'VE
BEEN BUYING A LOTTERY TICKET

EVERY WEEK FOR THE
LAST TWO YEARS.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
YOU'RE GONNA WIN THIS TIME?

-PERSISTENCE PAYS OFF.

BESIDES, WOULD I HAVE ANY
CHANCE IF I DIDN'T BUY A TICKET?

-THERE IS SOME
LOGIC THERE CAPTAIN.

-WHAT'S THE JACKPOT
UP TO NOW CAPTAIN?

-70 MILLION DOLLARS.

THE LINES WERE AROUND THE BLOCK,

70 MILLION, AND IT'S
ALL GONNA BE MINE.

-MOVE OVER THURSTON HOWELL.

-FORGET GILLIGAN'S
ISLAND WILL YOU?

WE GOT A WHOLE BEACH
LOAD OF PEOPLE OUT THERE

WHO NEED TO BE RESCUED.

-29 MINUTES. MAN, YOU GUYS
AT DOMINOS ARE UNBELIEVABLE.

YES, HERE YOU GO.
KEEP THE CHANGE, MIKE.
SEE YOU AROUND BUD.

-YOU GONNA EAT THAT
ALL BY YOURSELF?

-MAYBE.

[LAUGHTER]

GO AHEAD MAN, HELP YOURSELF.

-SO, GILLIGAN'S ISLAND WAS
REALLY YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?

-WAS? MAN IT STILL
IS, ALWAYS WILL BE.

-EVERYBODY'S GO THEIR
OWN TASTE I GUESS.

-I DON'T KNOW, GROWING UP AN
ORPHAN NEVER HAVING A FAMILY

THOSE SEVEN PEOPLE
ON THAT ISLAND

BECAME MY FAMILY GARNER,

THEY WERE ALWAYS THERE
FOR ME. WHAT CAN I SAY?

-GILLIGAN'S ISLAND?

-YES, GILLIGAN'S ISLAND.

-YOU REALLY DID HAVE IT
ROUGH DIDN'T YOU LITTLE BUDDY?

-CHEAP SHOT MAN.

-[LAUGHING] THANKS, NEXT
TIME GET SOME NAPKINS.

GOTTA GO.
WHOA!

-HEY, HEY, HEY WATCH YOURSELF.

-THANKS.

-HEY!

HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!

COME ON, BREAK IT UP WOULD YA?

GET A ROOM.

WHOA!

-EDDIE, YOU OKAY?

YOU OKAY?

-WHAT? YEAH.

I'M FINE, I'M A
LITTLE EMBARRASSED.

-I THOUGHT IT WAS LIFEGUARDS

WHO WERE SUPPOSED TO SAVE LIVES.

-VERY FUNNY.

-SURE YOU OKAY NOW?

-YEAH, YEAH, I'M FINE.

THANKS.

-RESCUE ONE,
THIS IS KMF 295, OVER.

-THIS IS RESCUE ONE.

-MCCLAIN, WE'VE GOT A
REPORT OF A WAVE RUNNER

OUT OFF THE OCEAN
SIDE OF ANACAPA.

-WHAT'S HE DOING THAT FAR OUT?

-GO PICK UP KRAMER AT TOWER
15 AND CHECK IT OUT, OVER.

-WILL DO, OVER AND OUT.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

-STRAIGHT AHEAD, SEE IT?

-YEAH.

-ALL RIGHT, NOW TRY AND PULL
IT AS CLOSE AS YOU CAN.

HEY.

-THANK GOD YOU GUYS SHOWED UP.

-WHAT'S WRONG?

-I DON'T KNOW, MY ENGINE DIED

AND I JUST CAN'T SEEM
TO GET IT TO KICK OVER.

-LET ME GIVE YOU A HAND.
SEE WHAT I CAN DO.

WHY DON'T YOU SLIDE
UP A LITTLE BIT.

I DON'T KNOW HOW
ELSE TO DO THIS?

-THIS WAY SEEMS FINE.

-PUT THIS BACK IN THERE.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE
SOMETHING HERE.

WHY DON'T YOU PUSH
THIS BUTTON HERE,

GIVE IT A LITTLE GAS AT
THE SAME TIME, READY?

OH HEY, THERE WE GO.

YOU KNOW WHAT IT WAS?
THE KILL SWITCH WAS STUCK.

ALL RIGHT, YOU WANNA
RIDE BACK WITH US?

-UM, NO I DON'T THINK SO.

THANKS FOR THE START THOUGH.

-NO PROBLEM.

GIVE ME A HAND?

HAVE A GOOD ONE.

WHAT?

CRANK IT UP AND LET'S GET GOING.

COME ON.

-IT WON'T START. I DON'T
KNOW WHAT'S THE MATTER.

-HUH.

-WHY DON'T YOU RADIO FOR HELP?

-RESCUE ONE TO BAYWATCH,
REPEAT RESCUE ONE TO BAYWATCH.

RADIO'S DEAD.

IT'S THE ELECTRICAL SYSTEM.

-WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

-THERE'S NOT MUCH WE CAN DO.
WE JUST, I DON'T KNOW.

THERE'S ANACAPA ISLAND,
WE'LL DRIFT TO THE SHORE

AND WAIT FOR SOMEONE TO MISS US.

-GREAT.

-YOU KNOW, THERE IS
A BRIGHT SIDE TO THIS.

THERE IS.

COME ON, IT'S ROMANTIC,
THINK ABOUT IT.

IT'S JUST YOU,
ME, THE MOON, HUH?

-WELL ARE YOU SURE
YOU WOULDN'T RATHER BE

STUCK ON THE ISLAND WITH
THE GIRL ON THE WAVE RUNNER?

-I WAS JUST DOING MY JOB.

-A LITTLE TOO WELL.

COME ON, LIGHTEN UP.

-YOU LIGHTEN UP.

[WHIMSICAL MUSIC]

-WELL...

IF YOU WANT YOU CAN
START A SIGNAL FIRE

AND I'LL LOOK FOR FOOD,
OR I CAN START A FIRE

AND YOU CAN GO LOOK FOR FOOD.

-I'LL START THE FIRE AND
YOU LOOK FOR THE FOOD.

-THOUGHT YOU'D SAY THAT.

[WHIMSICAL MUSIC]

-HEY!

-WHOA, UH OH.

-GILLIGAN?

WAIT! WAIT, GILLIGAN!

GILLIGAN! HEY!

HEY, GILLIGAN!

HEY, WAIT UP.

[PANTING]

HEY GILLIGAN!

[PANTING]

HEY, COME ON I'M
YOUR BIGGEST FAN.

WHERE'D THAT COME FROM?

-WHOA!

-GILLIGAN, MAN
IT REALLY IS YOU.

-IT'S ME ALL RIGHT.

WHOA!

-YOU'RE HANGING OFF A CLIFF.

-NOT FOR LONG.

WHOA, HELP.

-AM I GLAD TO SEE YOU.

-WELL I'M
KINDA GLAD TO SEE YOU TOO,

WHOEVER YOU ARE.

-I'M EDDIE.

I'M ON THE ISLAND WITH SHAUNI.

AND--

-LOOK OUT!

HELP! HELP!

-YOU KNOW WHAT?
MAYBE WE SHOULD YELL TOGETHER.

-GOOD IDEA.

TOGETHER!

-NO, NO, NO. IT'S NO USE.
SHAUNI WILL NEVER HEAR US.

-I'M NOT YELLING FOR SHAUNI.
I'M YELLING FOR MARY ANN!

-MARY ANN?

-I'M RIGHT HERE.

-OH MAN, MARY ANN AND
GILLIGAN ALL IN THE SAME DAY.

MUST BE MY BIRTHDAY.

OH BOY.
GILLIGAN, DON'T LOOK DOWN.

-HERE, LET ME HELP.

GIVE ME YOUR HAND, COME ON.

-DON'T LET GO.

-YOU MEAN YOU GUYS
WERE REALLY SHIPWRECKED

WITH THE HOWELLS,
AND THE SKIPPER,

AND THE MOVIE STAR,
AND THE PROFESSOR?

-YUP, THAT'S ALL OF US.

-I THOUGHT YOU
WERE JUST A TV SHOW.

-WE'RE REALLY
GLAD YOU FOUND US.

FOR YEARS PEOPLE HAVE BEEN
GETTING ON AND OFF THE ISLAND

AND WE WERE STUCK UNTIL NOW.

-SO WHERE'S EVERYBODY ELSE?

-STILL ON THE OTHER ISLAND.

THE PROFESSOR FINALLY
WAS ABLE TO BUILD A BOAT,

BUT IT WAS SO SMALL ONLY
TWO OF US COULD GET IN IT.

-AND HERE WE ARE,
ON ANOTHER ISLAND,

A MILLION MILES FROM NOWHERE.

-SOON AS BAYWATCH SEES OUR SIGNAL FIRE
WE'RE AS GOOD AS HOME.

-YOU MEAN THEN WE'RE RESCUED?

-WE'RE FINALLY RESCUED?

-THEY WILL BE HERE BY
TOMORROW TO PICK US UP

AND THEY'LL PICK YOU UP TOO.

-OH.

AND I OWE IT ALL TO YOU.

-IT'S THE LEAST I
COULD DO MARY ANN.

MARY ANN.

EVERYBODY, LET ME
HAVE YOUR ATTENTION.

IT IS MY PRIVILEGE TO INTRODUCE
GILLIGAN AND MARY ANN.

-GILLIGAN AND MARY ANN?

-HOW DO YOU DO?

WHEN WE GOT YOUR RADIO
MESSAGE WE THOUGHT

YOU'D BEEN OUT IN
THE SUN TOO LONG.

-IT'S REALLY THEM.

-I FEEL LIKE I'VE
KNOWN YOU ALL MY LIFE.

MAY I CALL YOU LITTLE BUDDY?

-SURE.

-ON BEHALF OF L.A.
COUNTY LIFEGUARDS,

WELCOME TO BAYWATCH
HEADQUARTERS.

-WOW, THIS
PLACE IS REALLY FANCY.

-UH, CAPTAIN,
WHAT HAPPENED HERE?

-70 MILLION DOLLARS
HAPPENED HERE,

THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED HERE.

-YOU ACTUALLY WON
70 MILLION DOLLARS?

-GOOD THINGS HAPPEN
TO THOSE WHO BET.

-UH, GILLIGAN AND MARY ANN, LET
ME INTRODUCE CAPTAIN THORPE.

-FROM ONE FAMOUS PERSON
TO OTHER FAMOUS PEOPLE

IT IS A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.

-WELL I DON'T
KNOW ABOUT FAMOUS,

BUT THINGS ARE SURE DIFFERENT
THAN THEY WERE 25 YEARS AGO.

-THINGS ARE SURE DIFFERENT
THAN THEY WERE YESTERDAY.

-THERE'S SO MUCH TO SEE.
SO MUCH HAS GONE ON.

-WELL, I COULD SHOW YOU
AROUND IF YOU WANT ME TO.

-OH YES, I'D LIKE THAT.

-AMAZING, WITHOUT
ANY LUXURY WHATSOEVER

YOU MANAGED TO SURVIVE.

-WELL THE HUMAN APPETITE

FOR SYNDICATED TELEVISION
IS INDOMITABLE.

-YOU'RE RIGHT, I'M HUNGRY

I CAN'T WAIT FOR A
HAMBURGER AND FRIES.

-HAMBURGER AND FRIES ARE
LOADED WITH CHOLESTEROL.

-WELL NOTHING FANCY.
I'LL JUST TAKE KETCHUP.

-I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW THESE
BATHING SUITS HAVE CHANGED

SINCE I'VE BEEN ON THE ISLAND.

-LOT OF THINGS HAVE CHANGED

SINCE YOU WERE STUCK
ON THAT ISLAND.

-WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT EDDIE?

-I JUST, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

YOU, HERE.

-I CAN'T BELIEVE IT
EITHER, YOU'RE A REAL HERO.

I'VE BEEN WAITING
FOREVER TO BE RESCUED,

AND THEN YOU CAME ALONG.
IT'S LIKE A DREAM COME TRUE.

-NO, NO IT'S NOT LIKE
A DREAM COME TRUE,

IT IS A DREAM COME TRUE.

-BE CAREFUL MY DEAR,
THAT'S EXPENSIVE CRYSTAL.

AH, CHAMPAGNE
SERVICE FOR EVERYONE.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN I WOULD
LIKE TO WELCOME YOU ALL

TO MY NEW LITTLE
BOAT, THE MINNOW II.

WE ARE HERE TO
CELEBRATE MANY THINGS.

FIRSTLY AND FOREMOSTLY,

MY NEWLY ACQUIRED,
ENORMOUS WEALTH.

SECONDLY, THE RESCUE
OF OUR GOOD FRIENDS,

GILLIGAN AND MARY ANN.

AND THIRDLY, MY PURCHASE
OF GILLIGAN'S RIGHTS

TO THE SHIPWRECK TO BE
TURNED INTO A MINI-SERIES.

OF COURSE WE DO NEED A
DRAMATIC UPBEAT ENDING

TO THE SAGA OF THE
CASTAWAYS' ORDEAL, AND THAT

IS THE REASON FOR OUR LITTLE
EXCURSION THIS AFTERNOON.

WE ARE GOING TO RESCUE
THE OTHER CASTAWAYS.

[CHEERING]

MARY ANN MY DEAR,
PLEASE COME ABOARD.

-OH, THANK YOU CAPTAIN THORPE.

-GARNER, YOU WERE IN THE NAVY.
YOU'RE THE SKIPPER.

-[LAUGHING]

GANGWAY!

-I'M SURE AN OLD NAVY MAN

WILL BE UNIQUELY
FAMILIAR WITH OUR WATERS.

EDDIE, SINCE YOU NEVER
FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL,

YOU'RE THE FIRST MATE.

-SKIPPER!

-AND NOW, LET'S BE OFF BEFORE
INTEREST RATES COME DOWN.

-WELL SAID.

[ROMANTIC MUSIC]

-SHAUNI?
-EY GAD.

-CAPTAIN THORPE, I HEARD
ABOUT THE MINI-SERIES

AND I WAS SO HOPING THERE
MIGHT BE A PART IN IT FOR ME.

-WELL WE'LL SEE MY LITTLE
BEACH BOTTOM, WE'LL SEE.

-YOU NEVER WANTED
TO BE AN ACTRESS.

-THINGS CHANGE, EDDIE,
AND BESIDES

YOU ALREADY HAVE THE
GIRL OF YOUR DREAMS.

-SHAUNI.

-SKIPPER, IF YOU DON'T
MIND, HISTORY AWAITS.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

GILLIGAN.

-CAST OFF ALL LINES.

-WHAT'S A LINE?

-UNTIE THE ROPES.

OH, GILLIGAN!

-ALL: BYE!

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

-AH, THE THRILL OF THE
OPEN SEA, A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN,

WHAT COULD BE MORE INVIGORATING?

-IT'S VERY EXCITING
CAPTAIN THORPE.

-I FOUND THE INERTIAL
NAVIGATION SYSTEM

TO BE QUITE IMPRESSIVE ON BOARD.

I THINK WITH SUCH AN
ARRAY WE SHOULD HAVE

NO PROBLEM LOCATING
THE CASTAWAYS.

-OH, INDEED, DIRECT FROM
NASA, VERY VERY EXPENSIVE.

-I THINK I'LL GO INSIDE
AND DOUBLE CHECK THE CHARTS.

-DO THAT.

-CAPTAIN THORPE.
-YES.

-I WAS WATCHING TV LAST
NIGHT AND ALL I COULD FIND ON

WAS THESE LITTLE GUYS WITH
MUSTACHES GOING [SILLY NOISES].

-THAT WASN'T TELEVISION,
THAT WAS A VIDEO GAME.

-OH, AND THEN SOMEBODY
CHANGED THE CHANNEL

AND THEY DIDN'T EVEN GET UP.

-A REMOTE CONTROL DEVICE.

-AH, THEN I SAW A YOUNG WOMAN

AND SHE WAS WEARING HER
UNDERWEAR ON THE OUTSIDE.

-THAT WAS MADONNA, A VERY
FAMOUS SINGING PERSON.

-SHE OUGHT TO BE ABLE
TO AFFORD CLOTHES.

-GILLIGAN. HEY, GILLIGAN!

CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?

-YOU JUST DID.

-HOW LONG HAVE
YOU KNOWN MARY ANN?

-WELL YOU KNOW, WE WERE
MAROONED ON AN ISLAND

FOR 25 YEARS, AND YOU
GET TO KNOW SOMEBODY

PRETTY GOOD THAT WAY.

-YEAH, WELL I'VE ONLY
MET HER FOR ONE DAY NOW

AND, WELL, I THINK...

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS...

-WELL, WHEN WE DIDN'T
KNOW HOW TO SAY ANYTHING

WE ALWAYS ASKED THE
PROFESSOR, THEN HE'D SAY IT

AND NOBODY'D UNDERSTAND IT.

-RIGHT, YEAH WELL, ANYWAY.

WELL I GUESS THE ONLY WAY TO
SAY IT IS TO JUST TELL YOU.

I LOVE MARY ANN.

-YOU LOVE MARY ANN?

-WELL, I THINK I DO.
I THINK I DO.

WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE'D
SAY IF I TOLD HER?

-IF I WERE YOU
I WOULDN'T DO IT.

-YOU WOULDN'T?
-NO, IF I WERE ME I'D DO IT.

-YOU? WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU LOVE MARY ANN?

-YEAH.

-YOU WERE ON AN ISLAND
WITH HER FOR 25 YEARS

AND YOU NEVER TOLD HER?

-WELL THE TIMING
NEVER SEEMED RIGHT

BUT NOW THAT YOU'VE
BROUGHT IT UP,

I THINK I'LL TELL HER RIGHT NOW.

[THUNDER]
UH OH.

-GILLIGAN! GILLIGAN, EDDIE!

BATTEN DOWN THE HATCHES,

WE'VE GOT ROUGH
WEATHER APPROACHING.

THERE'S A BIG STORM COMING!

-I HOPE WE PACKED THE BATTENS.

-I'LL
GO HELP THE SKIPPER.

-RIGHT BEHIND YA.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

-SEE, THERE SHE BLOWS!

WE CAN'T OUTRUN IT.
WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SAIL
RIGHT INTO THE EYE OF THE STORM.

EVERYBODY, HOLD ON!

GILLIGAN, GO BELOW AND
BREAK OUT THE LIFE JACKETS.
-AYE AYE, SKIPPER.

BATTEN DOWN SOME
HATCHES OR SOMETHING.

[BLOWING WIND]

I GOT YA, GILLIGAN.

DON'T LET GO.

GET HIM. SOMEBODY GRAB HIS LEGS.

SET HIM DOWN, SET HIM DOWN.

[BLOWING WIND]

I THOUGHT WE LOST YOU
THERE LITTLE BUDDY.

-COULD BE WORSE!
COULD BE RAINING!

-OH YOU HAD TO SAY IT.
YOU HAD TO SAY IT.

[BLOWING WIND]

-HANG ON.
HANG ON. CAREFUL.

SHAUNI. SHAUNI, GET BACK.
GET BACK.

I CAN'T HOLD IT.

-SHIPWRECKED AGAIN.

-WELL AT LEAST WE'RE ALL SAFE.
THAT'S THE IMPORTANT THING.

-SKIPPER, WHAT ARE WE
GOING TO DO?

I JUST BOUGHT MY FIRST
CORPORATION, THORPE CORP,

AND I SO WANTED TO BE
THERE. THIS MORNING,

THEY'RE PUTTING MY
NAME ON THE DOOR.

-WHAT ABOUT THE MOVIE?

THEY COULD GIVE MY
PART TO SOMEBODY ELSE.

-YOU'LL GET USED TO
THAT BEING SHIPWRECKED.

-WHAT WAS THAT?

-YOU'LL GET USED TO THAT TOO.

♪ JUST SIT RIGHT BACK
AND YOU'LL HEAR A TALE ♪

♪ A TALE OF A FATEFUL TRIP ♪

♪ THAT STARTED FROM
THIS TROPIC PORT ♪

♪ ABOARD THIS TINY SHIP ♪

♪ THE MATE WAS A
MIGHTY SAILING MAN ♪

♪ THE SKIPPER BRAVE AND SURE ♪

♪ FIVE PASSENGERS
SET SAIL THAT DAY ♪

♪ FOR A THREE HOUR
TOUR, A THREE HOUR TOUR ♪

[THUNDER]

♪ THE WEATHER
STARTED GETTING ROUGH ♪

♪ THE TINY SHIP WAS TOSSED ♪

♪ IF NOT FOR THE COURAGE
OF THE FEARLESS CREW ♪

♪ THE MINNOW WOULD BE LOST,
THE MINNOW WOULD BE LOST ♪

♪ THE SHIP SET GROUND
ON THE SHORE OF THIS ♪

♪ UNCHARTED DESERT ISLE ♪

♪ WITH GILLIGAN ♪

♪ THE SKIPPER TOO ♪

♪ THE MILLIONAIRE AND HIS WIFE ♪

♪ A MOVIE STAR ♪

♪ THE PROFESSOR AND MARY ANN ♪

♪ HERE ON GILLIGAN'S ISLE ♪

-I SUGGEST THAT WE BUILD SOME
FORM OF SHELTER SINCE I SEE

NO WAY OF DETERMINING
OUR PRECISE LOCATION

WITHOUT CONDUCTING A
SYSTEMATIC SURVEILLANCE.

-HARVEY'S RIGHT.
LET'S BUILD SHELTER.

-WON'T THAT TAKE A LONG TIME?

-NOT IF WE UTILIZE OUR
INDIVIDUAL ABILITIES

TO MAXIMIZE OUR EFFORTS.

FOR INSTANCE, SKIPPER,
WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO

IS GET THE SAW
FROM THE MINNOW II

TO CUT DOWN SOME
LOGS FROM TREES.

GILLIGAN? GILLIGAN. YOU HELP HIM.

EDDIE, GATHER SOME
HEMP FOR ROPES.
-RIGHT.

-SHAUNI WHAT I
WOULD LIKE YOU TO DO

IS TO GATHER SOME PALM FRONDS
AND GIVE THEM TO MARY ANN

TO WEAVE THEM TOGETHER
FOR WALL PANELS WITH THE HEMP.

-OH, I'VE ALWAYS
BEEN GOOD AT HEMP.

MR. THORPE.

-I'M UPPER MANAGEMENT.
VERY VERY UPPER MANAGEMENT
I MIGHT ADD.

-FINE, YOU SUPERVISE.

EVERYBODY ELSE, LET'S GET TO IT.

COME ON LITTLE BUDDY, SHAUNI.

-WHAT'S HEMP?

-GILLIGAN, WE BETTER
GET BUSY ON THESE LOGS.

WE'VE GOTTA GET THE HUT
BUILT BEFORE NIGHTFALL.

OH, GILLIGAN!

[LIVELY MUSIC]

-OKAY, GILLIGAN, LOWER THE ROOF.

[APPLAUSE]

-WELL DONE, LAD. WELL DONE.

-HOW'S ANYBODY
GONNA FIT IN THERE?

-IT'S BIGGER INSIDE.

-HUH?
-TRUST ME.

-GOODNIGHT CAPTAIN THORPE.

-NIGHT NIGHT MY BOY.

-NIGHT HARVEY.

-GOODNIGHT EDDIE.

-YOU KNOW SOMETHING
GILLIGAN, YOU WERE RIGHT,

IT'S A LOT BIGGER INSIDE
THAN IT IS OUTSIDE.

-TOLD YA.

-GET TO BED LITTLE BUDDY.
LOT OF WORK TO DO TOMORROW.

-I KNOW WHAT HIS PROBLEM IS.
HE PROBABLY WANTS A STORY.

THE SKIPPER ALWAYS
TOLD ME A STORY.

I MUST HAVE HEARD JACK AND
THE BEANSTALK 10,000 TIMES.

YOU KNOW THE STORY WHERE
JACK CLIMBS A BIG BEANSTALK
HE GOT FROM THE MAGIC BEANS

WHICH HE PLANTED FROM THE COW?

AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN
HE MEETS THE GIANT
WHO SCARES HIM AND GOES...

-I KNOW THE STORY GILLIGAN!

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?
A STORY, EDDIE?

-WELL NO ACTUALLY.

I KNOW GILLIGAN'S ISLAND
AND WELL I'M AFRAID IF I TRY

TO CLIMB INTO THE TOP
SOMETHING MIGHT HAPPEN AND...

-OH, NOTHING'S GOING TO HAPPEN.

NOW, CLIMB UP THERE,
AND THAT'S AN ORDER.

-OKAY.

[YELLING]

-WELL I GUESS I'M GONNA HAVE
TO GIVE YOU A HAND EDDIE.

THERE YOU GO. SEE?
NOTHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN.

-YEAH.

-LET'S GET SOME SHUT-EYE.

[CRASHING]
[YELLING]

-I TOLD YOU
SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN.

MAROONED ON AN ISLAND.
THIS IS EXCITING.

-MAYBE FOR YOU, I'M USED TO IT.

YOU KNOW WHAT IS EXCITING?

-WHAT?

-WHAT YOU DO,
BEING A LIFEGUARD.

-OH, IT'S A PIECE OF CAKE.
ANYBODY CAN DO IT.

YEAH, DO YOU WANT
ME TO TEACH YOU

MOUTH TO MOUTH RESUSCITATION?

-COULD YOU?

-SURE, SURE.

-GILLIGAN, DO YOU THINK
I'LL MAKE A GOOD GINGER?

-I DON'T KNOW. SHE
WAS ONE OF A KIND.

-ALL THOSE YEARS ON THE ISLAND,

DID YOU AND GINGER
EVER HAVE A THING?

-WHAT KIND OF A THING?

-WELL YOU KNOW, A THING.

-OH, A THING.

-WELL DID YOU?

-NO, I KINDA LIKED MARY ANN.

-OH, YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE!

-OH NO, I NEVER TOLD HER HOW
I FELT AND NOW IT'S TOO LATE.

-OH, NO, IT'S NOT TOO LATE.

-WELL LOOK AT THEM.

WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

-YOU'RE GONNA DO EXACTLY
WHAT SHE'S DOING TO YOU,

YOU'RE GONNA MAKE HER JEALOUS.

-HOW?

-BY FIGHTING FIRE WITH FIRE.

-YEAH, YEAH THAT'S IT.

-THANK YOU EDDIE, THAT
WAS VERY INSTRUCTIVE.

I CAN'T WAIT TO SHOW GILLIGAN.

-GILLIGAN.

YOU TWO HAVE SPENT A
LOT OF TIME TOGETHER,

MUST BE PRETTY TIGHT.

-IT'S KINDA FUNNY,
I NEVER TOLD HIM BEFORE,

BUT I THINK I'M
IN LOVE WITH HIM.

I WISH I KNEW IF HE FELT
THE SAME WAY ABOUT ME.

WELL, I GUESS THAT
ANSWERS THE QUESTION.

GILLIGAN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

-I THINK IT'S FAIRLY OBVIOUS.

-ARE YOU JEALOUS YET?

-JEALOUS!

WELL, I'LL SHOW YOU
HOW JEALOUS I AM.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT?

-I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT
HE THINKS OF THAT.

-OH YEAH?
-YEAH!

-I FORGOT TO MENTION, THIS
HOLE BREAKS TO THE LEFT.

ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, IT
IS RATHER PEACEFUL HERE.

-WHAT COULD HAPPEN
ON A DESERTED ISLAND?

[YELLING "SKIPPER"]

GILLIGAN!

-EY GAD. I'M PUTTING!

-THIS IS IMPORTANT.

-SO IS THIS. IT'S FOR A BIRDIE.

-WHAT'S GOING ON
HERE LITTLE BUDDY?

-WE WANT YOU TO MARRY US.

-MARRY YOU?

-YES, YOU'RE THE CAPTAIN.
YOU CAN PERFORM THE CEREMONY.

-ACCORDING TO MARITIME
LAW, YOU'RE RIGHT.

CONGRATULATIONS!

EDDIE, YOU STAND NEXT TO SHAUNI.

-I'M NOT MARRYING HER.
I'M MARRYING HER.

-YEAH, AND I'M MARRYING,
WHAT'S YOUR NAME AGAIN?

-SHAUNI.
-SHAUNI.

AND I LOVE HER
WITH ALL MY HEART.

-YOU CAN'T MARRY THEM.
WE WERE HERE FIRST.

-YEAH.

-NO, NO WE WERE HERE FIRST.

-STOP IT, STOP IT!

JUST STAND NEXT TO WHOEVER
YOU'RE GOING TO MARRY.

ALL RIGHT, BY THE
POWER VESTED IN ME...

-NO, NO, WAIT, WAIT,

YOU FORGOT TO ASK IF
THERE ARE ANY OBJECTIONS.

-WHO WOULD HAVE ANY
OBJECTIONS CAPTAIN THORPE?

-I DO.

-WHO DO YOU WANT TO MARRY?

-NOBODY, I'VE JUST
BUILT A BOAT, THOUGH.

IT'S DOWN BY THE LAGOON AND
ACCORDING TO MY CALCULATIONS,

THE TIDE IS JUST RIGHT.

IF THE BOAT DOESN'T
LEAVE IMMEDIATELY,

NO ONE WILL EVER
GET OFF THIS ISLAND.

-I CAN'T WAIT.

-GREAT LITTLE BOAT.

-BUT IT'LL ONLY FIT TWO.

-WELL, I'M SORRY SKIPPER,

BUT IT'S THE BEST
THAT I COULD DO.

I HAD TO MODIFY THE STRUCTURE
OF THE EXISTING DESIGN

BY USING INDIGENOUS MATERIALS

AND MINIATURIZED COMPONENTS.

-WHERE DID THE MOTOR COME FROM?

-WELL THE MINNOW II HAD
A 300 HORSEPOWER ENGINE,

THE MINNOW III HAS
ONE HORSEPOWER.

I MANAGED TO SALVAGE THE
UNDAMAGED VALVES AND PISTONS

AND CREATE AN ENGINE
PROPORTIONATELY STALWART ENOUGH

TO FERRY TWO PASSENGERS
TO CIVILIZATION AND
BRING BACK HELP.

-HOW COME IT TOOK OUR PROFESSOR

25 YEARS TO GET
US OFF OUR ISLAND?

-I HAD MORE TO WORK WITH.

-SO IT'S READY TO GO?

-WELL SKIPPER, YES IT IS.

THE ONLY QUESTION IS:
WHO IS PRIVILEGED TO GO?

-OBVIOUSLY I AM.

-WHY YOU?

-'CAUSE I'M RICH. RICH
PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS PRIVILEGED.

-I BELIEVE HE HAS A POINT THERE.

-I THINK WE SHOULD DRAW STRAWS.
THAT'S WHAT'S FAIR.

-FAIR? ALL RIGHT.

-THE LONGEST STRAWS GO.

WELL THE ONE'S WHO'VE BEEN
MAROONED THE LONGEST GET TO GO.

THAT'S ONLY FAIR.

-FAIR. NOT RIGHT.

-WELL, ACCORDING
TO MY CALCULATIONS,

THE TIDES ARE JUST RIGHT.

I SUGGEST WE LAUNCH THE
MINNOW III IMMEDIATELY.

[GROANING]

-THERE'S SOMETHING
I MEANT TO TELL YOU.

-WHAT'S THAT?

-THAT GILLIGAN, HE'S
ONE HECK OF A GUY.

-BETWEEN YOU AND
ME, I THINK SO TOO.

IT'S NOT GONNA STOP YOU FROM
REMEMBERING ME THOUGH WILL IT?

-I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU.

THANK YOU.

[SPUTTERING MOTOR]

-PUSH! PUSH!

-BYE!

-BYE! WE'LL BE BACK! HAVE FUN!

-TAKE CARE LITTLE BUDDY.

-THERE THEY GO.

-DON'T FORGET TO SEND HELP!

-AND A CHANGE OF CLOTHES!

-BYE! BYE EDDIE!

-WELL, PERHAPS YOU CAN WHIP UP

ANOTHER ONE OF
YOUR MANGO FRAPPES.

-WELL AS LONG AS
YOU'RE NOT DRIVING.

-EDDIE.
-YEAH SKIPPER?

-WEREN'T YOU STANDING HERE?

ISN'T THIS YOUR STRAW,
IT'S THE LONGEST.

-YES IT WAS.

-BUT I THOUGHT YOU
SAID YOU LOVED HER.

-MAYBE I DID.

MAYBE I ALWAYS WILL.

THOUGH IT MAY NOT ADD
UP TO A HILL OF BEANS,

IT'S BETTER OFF
THIS WAY SKIPPER.

-OH, IT'S NOT THE END OF
THE WORLD LITTLE BUDDY.

WE'LL BE RESCUED SOME DAY.

WHY DON'T YOU CLIMB
UP A PALM TREE

AND GET US SOME
COCONUTS FOR BREAKFAST.

-AYE AYE SKIPPER.

-PROFESSOR,
I HAVE AN IDEA.

[CLUNKING]

-HOW YOU FEELING LITTLE BUDDY?

-YOU CALLED ME LITTLE BUDDY.

-WELL THERE'S WORSE
THINGS HE COULD CALL YOU

FOR SLIPPING ON
YOUR OWN TOWER RAMP.

-YEAH. [GROANING]

-YOU POOR THING, YOU
HAD US ALL VERY WORRIED.

-I HAD THE WILDEST DREAM.

-YOU HAD A DREAM, WELL
I'M STILL DREAMING.

I WON THE LOTTERY.

-YOU DID?

-YUP, $58 WORTH.

'COURSE I BOUGHT $60 WORTH
OF TICKETS, BUT IT'S A START.

GLAD TO SEE YOU'RE
FEELING BETTER.

-THANKS.

-COME ON. LET'S GET YOU HOME.

YOU'VE GOT A NASTY
BUMP ON YOUR HEAD.

-AND YOU'RE NOT MAD AT ME?

-WHY SHOULD I BE MAD AT YOU?

JUST BECAUSE YOU WATCH TOO
MUCH GILLIGAN'S ISLAND?

COME ON.

-NO, IT'S...

SHAUNI, WAIT...

OH, WHAT A DAY.

-NIGHT GUYS.

-HEY, HEY.
-HEY, HEY, SEE YOU
TOMORROW BRIGHT AND EARLY.

-COME WITH US
MITCH, WE'RE GONNA GO

TO YOUR FAVORITE
CHINESE RESTAURANT.

-COME ON MITCH,
WE'LL NEVER DECIDE

WHAT TO ORDER WITHOUT YOU.

-WHAT'S SO IMPORTANT YOU
GOTTA STICK AROUND HERE?

-THANKS FOR THE
INVITE, BUT I GOT

A HECK OF A LOT OF
PAPERWORK TO DO.

BESIDES, IT'S PEACEFUL AND QUIET

AROUND HERE WHEN
YOU'RE NOT HERE.

-WE TRIED.

-THANKS.

-SEE YA.
-SEE YA.

[WHISTLING GILLIGAN'S
ISLAND THEME]

[GILLIGAN'S ISLAND THEME]

[END THEME MUSIC]