Baywatch (1989–2001): Season 1, Episode 14 - We Need a Vacation - full transcript
Craig, Cort and Eddie take a road trip to Mexico, but their vacation south of the border turns ugly when they tangle with an angry American tourist who won't leave them alone. At Baywatch, Mitch gets an uninvited house guest: Captain Thorp when his wife leaves him, and Hobie develops a crush on Shauni.
[BEGINNING THEME MUSIC]
-♪ SOME PEOPLE STAND
IN THE DARKNESS ♪
♪ AFRAID TO STEP
INTO THE LIGHT ♪
♪ SOME PEOPLE NEED
TO HELP SOMEBODY ♪
♪ WHEN THE EDGE OF
SURRENDER'S IN SIGHT ♪
♪ DON'T YOU WORRY
♪ IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I'M ALWAYS READY
♪ I WON'T LET YOU
OUT OF MY SIGHT ♪
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ NEVER YOU FEAR
♪ NO, DON'T YOU FEAR
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ FOREVER AND ALWAYS
♪ I'M ALWAYS HERE
♪ 'CAUSE I'M ALWAYS READY
♪ I WON'T LET YOU
OUT OF MY SIGHT ♪
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ NEVER YOU FEAR
♪ NO, DON'T YOU FEAR
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ FOREVER AND ALWAYS
♪ I'M ALWAYS HERE
[SOFT ROCK PLAYING]
-HEY, HEY, HEY, YOU'RE LATE.
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO RELIEVE ME
AN HOUR AGO.
CORT: SORRY, MAN.
LOLA NEEDED ME.
I GOT A MEETING WAITING
FOR ME BACK AT THE LOFT.
I'VE GOT TO BE
AT COURT AT THREE.
I'VE GOT A BUSINESS LUNCH
IN BETWEEN.
I DON'T EVEN HAVE TIME TO GO
BACK TO HEADQUARTERS TO CHANGE.
AND YOU'RE SORRY?
LOOK, I'M HOLDING DOWN TWO JOBS
AND A MARRIAGE.
YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IF I DON'T
MAINTAIN A STRICT SCHEDULE?
CHAOS.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH CHAOS?
SPENT THE BEST TIMES
OF MY LIFE THERE.
-WE'VE TALKED A LOT ABOUT HOW
TO SAVE A PERSON WHO'S DROWNING.
NOW, SAVING A LIFE DOES NOT END
WHEN YOU PULL A PERSON
OUT OF THE WATER.
WHAT YOU DO ON THE SAND
IS JUST AS IMPORTANT.
TODAY WE'RE GONNA PRACTICE
WHAT WE LEARNED IN CPR.
SO I'M GONNA NEED A VOLUNTEER.
ANYBODY?
HOBIE, WHAT ABOUT YOU?
COME ON.
LIE DOWN.
NOW I'M GONNA GO OVER
THE STEPS ONE BY ONE.
FIRST OF ALL, YOU'RE GONNA
TILT HIS HEAD BACK.
YOU'RE GONNA OPEN THE AIRWAY.
AND THEN CHECK FOR BREATHING.
OKAY, NOW YOU'RE GONNA PINCH
HIS NOSE SHUT,
YOU'RE GONNA LEAN FORWARD,
AND YOU'RE GONNA BLOW AIR
INTO HIS MOUTH.
GOT IT?
NOW LET ME SHOW YOU AGAIN.
-ALL RIGHT, I'M OUT OF HERE.
I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
NOT UNLESS YOU'RE IN MEXICO.
I'M GIVING EDDIE
A SURFING LESSON.
-WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
COME HERE. COME ON.
-WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
HEY, GUYS, I GOT SOMETHING
ON MY FISHER LINE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.
-LET'S CHECK IT OUT.
-WELL, HOT DAMN.
THAT'S A GENUINE ANTIQUE.
BACK IN WORLD WAR II, THE NAVY
USED STRING THESE BABIES
ALL ALONG THE COAST.
THAT'S A CLASSIC.
-THAT'S A BOMB.
-WHAT, THIS LITTLE FIRECRACKER?
NO, NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
AS LONG AS THAT SPIKE'S STICKING
UP, NOTHING CAN SET HER OFF.
I'LL JUST GO DEFUSE IT.
-YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.
-[SCREAMS]
AH, I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT.
-OF COURSE I'M RIGHT.
THIS IS A JOB
FOR TRAINED PROFESSIONALS,
NOT A COUPLE LIFEGUARDS.
I'LL CALL THE BOMB SQUAD.
THEY'LL COME OUT
AND CORDON OFF THE BEACH.
[SCREAMING]
-GO ON, CALL FOR BACKUP.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
-ARE YOU OKAY?
-WHAT A KISS.
-IT WAS JUST MOUTH-TO-MOUTH.
-IN YOUR DREAMS.
-[LAUGHS]
-CRAIG, JOHN.
-AND YOU WANTED THE BOMB SQUAD
TO HAVE ALL THE FUN.
-ARE YOU OKAY?
OH, MAN.
I NEED A VACATION.
-GREAT, WE LEAVE
HEADQUARTERS AT SIX.
[FRANTIC MUSIC]
-REMEMBER TO FILE
THE INCIDENT REPORTS
NO LATER THAN FIVE O'CLOCK.
-RIGHT.
-I'M COUNTING ON YOU, MITCH,
TO KEEP THINGS RUNNING SMOOTHLY
WHILE I'M GONE.
-I THOUGHT YOU WERE DRIVING
YOUR SON TO THE AIRPORT,
NOT ALL THE WAY TO
THE UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON.
-SORRY,
IT'S JUST THAT WITH MY YOUNGEST
FINALLY LEAVING THE NEST,
I FEEL LIKE I'M EMBARKING
ON A WHOLE NEW LIFE.
THIS IS THE FIRST LEG OF IT
COULD BE A VERY, VERY EXCITING
JOURNEY.
-DRIVE SAFELY.
-YEAH. OH.
-DON'T FORGET MY SOMBRERO.
IT IS GONNA LOOK SO GREAT
ON THE WALL.
-FINE.
-AND A PONCHO WOULD BE NICE.
AND IF YOU FIND ANY TURQUOISE
EARRINGS, WOULD YOU BUY THOSE?
-SHAUNI, I'M GOING TO A BEACH,
NOT A SHOPPING MALL.
-SO, YOU READY?
-YEAH, YOU BET.
-OKAY, HERE'S MY SHOPPING LIST.
BE SURE AND HAGGLE.
-OKAY, FINE.
-SEE YOU MONDAY.
UH-HUH.
NICE LIPSTICK.
HEY, JOHN, EDDIE.
COME ON, LET'S HIT THE ROAD.
I GOT ALL YOUR STUFF.
-[LAUGHS]
OH, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME
I'VE EVER SEEN THIS THING
WITHOUT A TARP OVER IT.
-LOOKS LIKE IT SHOULD HAVE
SIX FEET OF DIRT
AND A HEADSTONE OVER IT.
-THESE THINGS WERE BUILT
TO RUN FOREVER.
-ESPECIALLY IF YOU SPEND
EVERY WEEKEND WORKING ON IT.
-IT WAS MY FIRST CAR.
IT'S A LABOR OF LOVE.
COME ON, LET'S GO.
-WHERE?
-VACATION. MEXICO. SURFING.
I TOLD YOU I NEEDED A VACATION.
THAT WAS AN INVITATION
THIS MORNING, WASN'T IT?
-WHAT ABOUT YOUR SCHEDULE?
-I PUSHED MY COURT DATE
BACK A WEEK.
-WELL, LET'S GO.
-ALL RIGHT.
OKAY, GUYS, PREPARE YOURSELVES
FOR AN UNFORGETTABLE EXPERIENCE.
[CHEERING]
ISN'T THIS GREAT?
A NICE, QUIET NIGHT,
A ROARING FIREPLACE,
A FRIENDLY GAME OF CHECKERS
BETWEEN FATHER AND SON.
YOU KNOW, THIS IS WHAT
FAMILY LIFE IS ALL ABOUT.
-DIE, BIG DOG. KING ME.
NORMAN ROCKWELL
WOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOU.
WHO'S HE?
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
-HE MAKES CALENDARS.
EVENING, MITCH.
CAPTAIN.
-I WAS JUST DRIVING AROUND
AND I FIGURED
WHY NOT STOP BY
AND SAY HELLO TO MITCH.
HELLO, MITCH.
I FORGOT WHAT A NICE PLACE
YOU'VE GOT HERE.
SPACIOUS. RUSTIC. HOMEY.
-WELL, YOU'RE WELCOME TO
SEE IT FROM THE INSIDE.
COME ON IN.
-THANKS.
-IS THIS GONNA BE A LONG VISIT?
-I HAD KIND OF AN INCIDENT
WITH MY WIFE, MITCH.
-AN INCIDENT?
-SHE THREW ME OUT.
-I'LL GO GET A SLEEPING BAG AND
SOME BLANKETS OUT OF THE GARAGE.
-I GOT BACK FROM THE AIRPORT,
WALKED IN THE HOUSE,
AND THERE WERE MY BAGS.
LOOK HOW THEY'RE BULGING.
SHE HAS NO IDEA
HOW TO PACK A SUITCASE.
I MUST HAVE SHOWED HER
A HUNDRED TIMES
HOW TO DO IT RIGHT.
-WANT SOME COFFEE?
SOMETHING TO EAT?
YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SAID?
NOW THAT TED'S FINALLY GONE, OUR
"SHAM OF A MARRIAGE" IS OVER.
IN 27 YEARS, I NEVER HEARD HER
USE THE WORD "SHAM".
I PICKED UP
SOME NEW VOCABULARY, TOO,
WHEN GAYLE LEFT ME.
-YOU LIGHT?
-DARK.
-LOOKS LIKE I GOT HERE
JUST IN TIME, MITCH.
YOU'VE GOT A LOT TO LEARN
ABOUT CHECKERS.
AND I'M JUST THE MAN
TO TEACH YOU.
[MEXICAN SONG PLAYING]
-I TOLD YOU WE SHOULDN'T LEAVE
THE HIGHWAY. NOW WE'RE LOST.
-THERE'S ONLY ONE THING TO DO.
WE TURN AROUND AND WE GO BACK
AND WE PICK UP THE HIGHWAY.
-NO.
-WE'RE NOT LOST, MAN.
-ARE WE?
-NO.
WELL, THEN SHOW ME
WHERE WE ARE ON THE MAP.
-[SIGHS]
[GRUNTS]
SOME PLACES YOU HAVE TO FIND
WITHOUT A MAP.
-[SIGHS]
HOW WOULD THAT SERVE YOU?
-I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, IF YOU
GUYS EVER HAVE AN EXPERIENCE
AS INTENSE AS THE ONE
I HAD WITH INES,
YOU'LL BE ABLE TO FIND
YOUR WAY BACK, TOO.
-INES WHO?
[MEXICAN SONG PLAYING]
CORT: WOO HOO HOO! WAS I LYING?
THIS IS INCREDIBLE.
-HEY, GUYS, WE GOTTA LOOP
OR SURF, LET'S GO.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
-♪ IT DOESN'T GET
ANY BETTER THAN THIS ♪
♪ HERE WE ARE
MAKING OUR WAY ♪
♪ NOT LOOKING BACK
WITH OUR GAME ON TRACK ♪
♪ CHASING OUR WORRIES AWAY
♪ HEY, HEY, HEY
♪ THESE ARE
THE GOOD OLD DAYS ♪
♪ READY, SET,
AND GOING FOR IT ♪
♪ HERE WE GO
MAKING OUR DREAMS ♪
♪ LEAVING THE GROUND
WITH OUR HEADS IN THE CLOUDS ♪
♪ WHO KNOWS
WHERE THIS WILL LEAD ♪
♪ HEY, HEY, HEY
♪ THESE ARE
THE GOOD OLD DAYS ♪
♪ IT DOESN'T MATTER
WHAT THEY SAY ♪
♪ WE CAN'T HEAR THEM
FROM THIS WAVE ♪
♪ IT ONLY MATTERS
WHAT WE DO ♪
♪ THEY CAN'T TAKE
THESE MEMORIES FROM YOU ♪
♪ THESE ARE
THE GOOD OLD DAYS ♪
♪ THESE ARE
THE GOOD OLD DAYS ♪
♪ THESE ARE
THE GOOD OLD DAYS ♪
-SATISFIED?
-PARADISE.
-I COULD GET USED TO THIS.
[SUSPENSE MUSIC]
ALL: HEY, HEY, HEY!
-HEY, COME BACK!
-COME HERE, STOP!
-HEY, HEY!
-HEY.
-AT LEAST THEY LEFT OUR CLOTHES.
WHERE WERE THE CAR KEYS?
-CAR KEYS?
-YOU DROVE LAST.
WHERE WERE THE CAR KEYS?
-IN THE CAR.
-IN THE CAR! WITH THE MONEY
AND THE SUPPLIES.
-OOPS.
-"OOPS"?
[POUNDING]
5:30 A.M., MISTER.
RISE AND SHINE.
YOU DON'T WANNA BE LATE
FOR YOUR DUTY CALL.
MY DUTY CALL IS NOT UNTIL 7:30.
-THE WAY I FIGURE,
IT'LL TAKE 30 MINUTES
TO CONSUME THE MEAL
AND PERUSE THE NEWSPAPER,
14 TO 17 MINUTES
TO JOG TO HEADQUARTERS,
HALF HOUR TO SHOWER UP
AND GET READY,
ANOTHER 30 MINUTES TO SCAN
YESTERDAY'S INCIDENT REPORTS,
TEN TO MAKE
THE TOWER ASSIGNMENTS,
AND FIVE TO PREP FOR ROLL CALL.
-WHAT ABOUT MY CUP OF COFFEE?
I LIKE A CUP OF COFFEE AT WORK.
-I FACTORED THAT INTO PREP.
-DECAFFEINATED, OF COURSE.
-OF COURSE.
-GOTTA KEEP THE SENSES SHARP.
-WHAT IS THAT SMELL?
-FRESH, HOT,
RECONSTITUTED MEAT CAKES.
THEY'RE GREAT.
I LEARNED TO LOVE THEM
IN THE ARMY.
GO ON, CHOW DOWN.
YOU ONLY GOT 29 MINUTES LEFT.
[SINGS]
-DAD, WE'VE GOT
TO GET RID OF HIM.
-GIVE HIM A BREAK, WILL YOU?
HE'S GOING THROUGH A ROUGH TIME.
-IF WE DON'T, I'LL GO CRAZY.
EVEN WORSE, I'LL GO HUNGRY
-HEY, GUYS, IF A SCORPION
SEES YOUR SHADOW,
IT'LL GET OUT OF THE WAY, RIGHT?
-ARE YOU SURE THERE'S A CHARMING
LITTLE BEACH TOWN AHEAD?
-YEAH, JUST AROUND
THE NEXT BEND.
-THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID
SIX BENDS AGO.
TOO BAD
YOU THREW THE MAP AWAY.
WHAT'S THERE?
-FRIENDLIEST LITTLE PLACE
I'VE EVER BEEN.
FOLKS THERE TOOK ME IN
LIKE I WAS LONG-LOST FAMILY.
THE FACT IS I THOUGHT
ABOUT SETTLING
IN MIRAFLORES PERMANENTLY.
-I WISH YOU HAD.
-I MEAN, YOU STEP ON A SCORPION,
IT'S INSTANT DEATH, RIGHT?
-NO.
-REALLY? THAT'S GOOD,
THAT'S GOOD.
-PROBABLY TAKE YOU DAYS TO DIE.
-SO WHEN WE GET TO THIS LITTLE
GARDEN PARADISE,
WE SHOULD CALL MITCH
AND ASK HIM TO PICK US UP.
-THAT SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN.
OF COURSE, IT'D WORK BETTER
IF THERE WAS A PHONE THERE.
GLAD TO SEE YOU GOT YOUR
THINKING CAP ON THERE, CRAIG.
-ALL RIGHT, TELL ME, SO WHAT DO
I DO IF I SEE A SCORPION?
-LET ME KNOW.
I WANT TO THROW MYSELF ON IT.
-THAT'S GREAT, GUYS.
GOOD TIMES ARE JUST BEGINNING.
-JUST WAIT TILL WE GET
TO MIRAFLORES.
-I WANT MY JEEP.
-UH.
-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
-I'M STARVING.
WHAT HAPPENED
TO THE LEFT-OVER PIZZA?
-HOBIE ATE IT THIS MORNING.
-THAT LITTLE SNEAK.
I'LL JUST HAVE HIS DRY CEREAL.
-IS THORPE EATING YOU OUT
OF HOUSE AND HOME?
-WORSE. HE'S COOKING.
-OH, I DON'T KNOW
HOW YOU CAN STAND IT.
-NOT SO BAD, I WASH IT DOWN
WITH ORANGE JUICE AND TOSS
THE REST IN THE GARBAGE CAN
WHEN HIS BACK IS TURNED.
-I MEANT THORPE.
IT MUST BE HELL LIVING
WITH A DRILL SERGEANT.
-I THINK IT'S HIS WAY OF DEALING
WITH THE STRESS, I SUPPOSE.
YOU KNOW, WHEN GAYLE LEFT ME,
I WENT LITTLE CRAZY, TOO.
-THORPE HAS ALWAYS BEEN
A LITTLE CRAZY.
-JILL, YOU'RE NOT BEING FAIR.
UNDERNEATH THAT STARCHED SHIRT
IS A VERY SENSITIVE MAN.
-UNDERNEATH THAT STARCHED SHIRT
IS A STARCHED UNDERSHIRT.
-MITCH! JUST THE MAN
I WANTED TO SEE.
WHAT DO YOU SAY WE CUT OUT
A LITTLE EARLY TONIGHT, HUH?
-EARLY?
-YEAH. KEEP THIS UNDER YOUR HAT,
RILEY.
SHIFT'S OVER AT SEVEN.
WHAT DO YOU SAY WE SNEAK OUT
AT AROUND 6:50,
CHANGE INTO SOME DANCING DUDS,
AND HIT THE DISCOS.
MITCH: DISCOS?
-YEAH, I HEARD MCMURTRY'S IS A
GREAT PLACE TO TROLL FOR CHICKS.
-"CHICKS"?
-LIGHTEN UP, RILEY.
MAN TALK. NOTHING PERSONAL.
-DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE MOVING
A LITTLE FAST HERE?
-MITCH, I THINK
THIS IS THE BEST THING
THAT COULD'VE HAPPENED TO ME.
LAW OF THE JUNGLE.
RIGHT, RILEY?
FAMILIES EXIST TO RAISE
AND NURTURE OFFSPRING.
OUR OFFSPRING ARE GROWN.
SO THE MARRIAGE
IS POINTLESS, RIGHT?
BEST OF ALL,
I STILL GOT MY YOUTH.
I'M STILL YOUNG,
I'VE STILL GOT THE MOVES.
AND TONIGHT, THE KING
WILL SHOW YOU A FEW.
[LAUGHS]
YOU LIKE HOBIE?
-YEAH.
-GREAT.
WOULD YOU MAKE SURE HE'S
IN BED BY NINE O'CLOCK?
HE'S GOT A BIG DAY TOMORROW.
6:50, MITCH.
YOU'RE DRIVING.
[HUMS]
-YEAH, YOU WERE RIGHT.
CAN'T GET ANY MORE SENSITIVE
THAN THAT.
-THANKS FOR LETTING ME DO
MY JUNIOR LIFEGUARD
APPRENTICESHIP AT YOUR TOWER.
-NO PROBLEM. I COULD USE
THE EXTRA SET OF EYES.
AND ARMS.
-I MEAN, SURE I'M LUCKY TO HAVE
YOU SHOWING ME THE ROPES.
-WELL, I IMAGINE YOUR DAD
SHOWED YOU EVERY STRAND.
-HE SHOWED ME HOW IT SHOULD BE.
NOW I WANNA SEE HOW IT IS
FROM THE BEST LIFEGUARD.
-I AM, REALLY?
-HANDS DOWN, THE BEST.
-YOU KNOW, I THINK
THIS APPRENTICESHIP THING
IS GONNA WORK OUT JUST FINE.
NOW, THE SECRET
TO SWEEPING A TOWER
IS ALL IN THE BRUSH STROKE.
WATCH.
ONE, TWO, THREE.
ONE, TWO, THREE.
ONE, TWO, THREE.
YOU PRACTICE,
I'LL SUPERVISE.
-HOW MUCH FUN?
-IS THAT A SCORPION?
-NO.
WE'RE HERE.
[CHILDREN LAUGHING]
[DOG BARKING]
CRAIG: THIS IS MIRAFLORES?
-YEAH.
EDDIE: THIS IS WHERE YOU WANTED
TO STAY FOREVER?
-UH-HUH.
-CRAIG: I GUESS THAT WAS BEFORE
THEY DROPPED THE BOMB.
-HEY, THERE'S MIGUEL.
NOW IF ANYBODY IN THIS TOWN
CAN HELP US OUT, IT'S MIGUEL.
HEY MIGUEL! "MI HERMANO!"
-HEY, I THOUGHT YOU SAID
THESE PEOPLE WERE LIKE FAMILY.
-I DON'T GET IT, MAN. I LIVED
WITH THIS GUY FOR A WEEK.
-MAYBE YOU OVERSTAYED
YOUR WELCOME.
-HEY! HEY, JUAN.
[LAUGHS]
-[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
-LOOK, THERE'S ONE PERSON
IN THIS TOWN
WHO'S GONNA TREAT
US RIGHT, OKAY?
EDDIE: INES?
-YEAH.
SHE'S GONNA BE THRILLED
TO SEE ME.
[LAUGHS]
HEY, BARKEEP.
"TRES CERVEZAS, POR FAVOR."
OH, YEAH.
-I'LL BRING YOU A MENU.
-GRACIAS, "SEÑORITA."
-HEY!
JOHN D.
-I TOLD YOU
I'D BE BACK SOMEDAY.
WHAT DID I SAY?
[GLASS SHATTERS]
-YOU DIDN'T TELL ME
YOU'D BE LEAVING TOWN.
-DID I FORGET TO MENTION THAT?
-SHE'S THRILLED.
-I CAN SEE THAT.
-TEQUILA.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
TEQUI--
OH, COME ON.
TEQUILA, "COMPRENDE?"
-HEY, HEY, HEY.
DO YOU MIND?
I'M IN THE MIDDLE
OF SOMETHING PERSONAL HERE.
-WHAT DID YOU SAY?
-NOTHING, NOTHING AT ALL.
-I SAID WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE
OF SOMETHING PERSONAL HERE,
SO JUST COOL YOUR JETS.
-I THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID.
OH, GOD, NEVER THOUGHT
IT'D BE SO GREAT
TO HEAR AN AMERICAN TALKING!
KYLE RIGLER. HOW ARE YOU DOING?
-JOHN D. CORT.
THIS IS CRAIG POMEROY
AND EDDIE KRAMER.
KYLE: HOW ARE YOU DOING?
[LAUGHS]
THE DRINKS ARE ON ME, BOYS.
[LAUGHS]
-KEEP YOUR FILTHY PAWS OFF ME.
DON'T TOUCH ME.
-SIT DOWN, BOY. THEY'RE
JUST HAVING A LITTLE FUN.
-YEAH, WELL, THE PARTY IS OVER.
-OH, NOT TILL I SAY SO.
[GLASS SHATTERS]
-WORKS EVERY TIME.
-WATCH WITH THE WALL.
-CHEERS.
-SHOULD WE HELP HIM?
-SAVE YOUR STRENGTH.
-OH.
-[GASPS]
[GRUNTING]
INES: STOP.
STOP IT, YOU'RE BREAKING
EVERYTHING.
-[SCREAMS]
[GLASS SHATTERS]
-[MOANS]
-[MOANS]
-OH.
THE SERVICE STINKS.
I'LL...
I'LL BE BACK TO GET MY REFUND.
[GLASS SHATTERS]
-JOHN, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
-[MOANS]
[GRUNTS]
[CHUCKLES]
WE SHOWED THEM, DIDN'T WE?
[ENGINE STARTS]
THAT'S MY JEEP.
[MOANS]
-5:30 A.M. AND I'M...
RARING TO GO.
CAPTAIN?
-MORNING.
-HEY.
-ROUGH NIGHT, HUH?
-ARE YOU KIDDING?
[CHUCKLES]
IT WAS WONDERFUL.
SORRY I KEPT CUTTING IN
ON YOU LIKE THAT.
-NO, NO, THAT'S OKAY.
LOOKED LIKE YOU
WERE HAVING A BLAST.
I LEFT AT MIDNIGHT,
YOU WERE STILL DANCING AWAY.
-OH, MITCH,
I HAD THE MUSIC IN ME.
I HAVEN'T FELT THIS GOOD
IN... 27 YEARS.
-HOW DID YOU GET HOME, ANYWAY?
-HITCHED A RIDE
WITH A COUPLE GIRLS.
YOU KNOW HOW IT IS.
-OH, YEAH. I MEAN,
IT HAPPENS TO ME ALL THE TIME.
-SINGLE LIFE IS GREAT.
YOU SHOULD HAVE CLUED ME IN
LONG BEFORE THIS.
-RIGHT.
YOU'VE BEEN OUT HERE ALL NIGHT?
-YEAH.
COULDN'T SLEEP. ALL WOUND UP.
THE ADRENALINE, I TELL YOU.
YOU KNOW.
-YEAH, YEAH, I KNOW.
THINKING ABOUT HER, HUH?
-WHO?
-YOUR WIFE.
-YEAH, YEAH.
I WAS THINKING NOW I CAN FINALLY
GET THAT SPORTS CAR
SHE'D NEVER LET ME BUY.
-[CHUCKLES]
-[LAUGHS]
-I'LL MAKE SOME BREAKFAST.
-YEAH.
[HUMS]
[ROOSTER CROWING]
[DOOR OPENS]
-HEY!
-GET OUT OF HERE.
-SORRY, SORRY. WE'VE BEEN
INVITED TO LEAVE TOWN.
-BY THEM.
-I HOPE THESE GUYS
AREN'T ALL YOUR BROTHERS.
"SEÑOR" RIGLER WANTS YOU
TO LEAVE OUR TOWN.
-DON'T LISTEN TO THEM.
THEY'RE COWARDS.
-WE ARE NOT WANTED HERE. WE'RE
GETTING MY JEEP AND WE'RE GOING.
-THAT JEEP BELONGS
TO RIGLER NOW.
YOU FOOLS, LEAVE!
-WHO IS THIS GUY?
WHY'S EVERYBODY
SO SCARED OF HIM?
-"SEÑOR" RIGLER IS
A VERY POWERFUL MAN.
INES: NO, RIGLER IS A --
-INES! THINK
OF OUR FAMILIES, HUH?
-I'LL TELL YOU WHO HE IS.
HE'S A CHEAP CROOK,
AND WHEN I SEE HIM,
I'M GONNA TELL HIM.
HE'S GONNA LISTEN TO REASON.
-COME ON, CRAIG, I DON'T THINK
THAT'S SUCH A GREAT IDEA.
-FINE.
I'LL DO IT MYSELF.
MAN: YOU SHOULD LEAVE RIGLER
ALONE.
-YOU COMING?
-WE CAN KICK RIGLER'S BUTT
IF WE HAVE TO.
-CRAIG, I HAVEN'T RECOVERED
FROM KICKING HIS BUTT YESTERDAY.
[CHUCKLES]
-YOU'D BETTER GET PACKING,
BECAUSE I'M GONNA BE BACK
IN A COUPLE HOURS.
EXCUSE ME.
MAN: YOU'LL GET HURT.
-EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME.
-CRAIG.
CRAIG: EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME.
-YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING.
A PORSCHE COSTS THAT MUCH?
YOU KNOW, AT THAT PRICE,
YOU OUGHT TO THROW IN
A POOL AND SIX BEDROOMS.
-WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
-THE PROBLEM IS
AN AMERICAN FOUR-DOOR SEDAN
COSTS ABOUT 17,000.
YOU FIGURE A TWO-SEATER SHOULD
BE ABOUT HALF THAT PRICE, RIGHT?
-IT DOESN'T QUITE WORK THAT WAY.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU BOUGHT A CAR ANYWAY?
-1977. CAPRICE CLASSIC.
WOOD-GRAIN DASH, OPERA WINDOWS.
IT'S STILL IN MINT-CONDITION.
-KEEP IT.
-I DON'T KNOW, MITCH, THAT CAR
BELONGED TO THE OLD ME.
I WANT SOMETHING WILDER,
CRAZIER.
HELLO, THIS IS CAPTAIN
DON THORPE OVER AT BAYWATCH.
YEAH, WHAT KIND OF A DEAL
CAN YOU MAKE ME ON A CORVETTE?
YEAH, I'LL HOLD.
-CAPTAIN, YOU AND DORIS
HAVE ONLY BEEN SEPARATED
FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD SLOW DOWN HERE,
LOOK FOR A PLACE TO LIVE
INSTEAD OF CONCENTRATING
ON GETTING A NEW CAR.
NO, YOU GOTTA KEEP MOVING,
MITCH.
YOU SIT OUT ON THE ROAD OF LIFE,
TIME WILL RUN YOU OVER
AND GRIND YOU
RIGHT DOWN INTO THE ASPHALT.
YOU CAN QUOTE ME.
YEAH. YEAH.
YOU CALL THAT A DEAL?
SOUNDS LIKE THE NATIONAL DEBT.
NO, WE'RE NOT IN A BALL PARK.
WE'RE NOT EVEN
IN THE SAME COUNTRY.
AND WHAT ABOUT A LEASE?
[SUSPENSE MUSIC]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
-OH.
-YOU'D BETTER BE INSTALLING
A STEREO, BOY, OR YOU'RE DEAD.
-[GRUNTS]
WHAT WE HAVE IS A LITTLE
MISUNDERSTANDING HERE.
YOU SEE, THIS IS MY JEEP.
AND YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T KNOW
THAT WHEN YOU TOOK IT.
-YEAH, I HEAR. YOU'RE RIGHT.
THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING.
-I THOUGHT IT MIGHT.
WHY DON'T WE STEP OVER HERE
AND WORK THIS OUT, HUH?
-GOOD.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
-CAN I GIVE YOU A LIFT?
-NO, THANKS.
CAPTAIN?
-ISN'T SHE A BEAUTY?
-YEAH, OF COURSE.
-HOP IN, LET'S CRUISE.
-[LAUGHS]
NO, THANKS, I'VE HAD MY FILL
OF NIGHTLIFE LATELY.
-FORGET MCMURTRY'S. I WANNA
SWING BY THE COURTHOUSE.
I'VE GOT SOME DIVORCE PAPERS
TO FILE.
-DIVORCE PAPERS?
YOU'RE SAYING YOU TALKED
TO YOUR WIFE ABOUT THIS?
-NO, WHY SHOULD I?
-FIND OUT
HOW SHE FEELS ABOUT THIS
BEFORE YOU DO SOMETHING
YOU REGRET.
-ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER
THAN WORDS, MITCH.
NO, SHE'S MADE UP HER MIND.
I WANNA MAKE THIS
FAST AND PAINLESS.
-SORRY, YOU'VE MARRIED
FOR 27 YEARS.
IT'S NOT GONNA BE
FAST AND PAINLESS.
YOU'RE FOOLING YOURSELF
IF YOU THINK IT IS.
THERE'S A LOT OF TALKING,
AND A LOT OF THINKING, AND...
THERE'S A LOT OF PAIN
YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH.
-THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
US, MITCH.
I DON'T WASTE TIME CRYING
OVER SPILLED MILK, I JUST...
CLEAN UP THE MESS.
COME ON, I'LL SHOW YOU
HOW IT'S DONE.
-NO, THANKS.
YOU GO CLEAN UP
ON YOUR OWN, HUH?
[ENGINE STARTS]
-OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU
BACK AT THE HOUSE.
-YEAH.
[DOOR OPENS]
-HEY, HOBIE.
-HEY.
-SINCE WHEN ARE YOU
INTO FLOWER ARRANGEMENTS?
-GET REAL.
THIS IS A FOR A GIRL.
I RISKED MY LIFE PICKING THESE.
-THORNS?
-FANGS.
YOU'D BE SURPRISED
HOW PROTECTIVE A DOG CAN BE
OVER A FLOWER GARDEN.
-SHE MUST BE AWFULLY SPECIAL.
-SURE IS.
GIRLS MY AGE,
WELL, THEY'RE JUST GIRLS.
SHE'S A WOMAN.
-SINCE WHEN ARE YOU
INTO DATING OLDER WOMEN?
-IS THAT WRONG? I MEAN,
YOU THINK IT'S STUPID?
-YOU LIKE HER?
-YEAH.
-AND SHE LIKES YOU?
-YEAH.
-THEN I'D SAY GO FOR IT.
BE IN BY NINE.
-[SIGHS]
-HI, THIS IS A SURPRISE.
-YEAH, I WAS, UM,
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
YOU KNOW.
-I KNOW.
-OH.
THESE ARE FOR YOU.
-WOW, WHAT'S
THE SPECIAL OCCASION?
-WELL, FOR, LIKE YOU LETTING ME
BE IN YOUR TOWER AND ALL.
YOU KNOW.
-I KNOW.
YOU WANNA COME IN?
-YEAH.
EDDIE: YOU GOT THAT?
-YEAH, IT'S GONNA BE
BETTER THAN NEW.
-SHOULDN'T CRAIG BE BACK BY NOW?
-CRAIG EVER TRY REASON ON YOU?
ONCE HE STARTS, HE DOESN'T
WIND DOWN FOR ABOUT THREE HOURS.
-WHEN YOU'RE DONE
WITH THE TABLE,
YOU CAN START FIXING
THE CHAIRS.
-YES, MA'AM.
-AND WHEN YOU'RE DONE
WITH THE CHAIRS,
START WASHING DISHES.
-WOW, HEY, LOOK, I DON'T MIND
FIXING THE FURNITURE WE BROKE,
BUT I DON'T DO DISHES.
-OH, THEN YOU HAVE THE MONEY
TO PAY YOUR BAR BILL?
-[CHUCKLES]
-ALL RIGHT, YOU WASH,
I'LL DRY.
-FINE.
[ENGINE REVS UP]
-COULDN'T BE.
-NO WAY.
EDDIE: HE DID IT.
-UNBELIEVABLE.
-ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
-ARE YOU OKAY?
-PEACHY.
-ANY MORE GREAT IDEAS?
-NO.
-GOOD.
NOW WE DO THIS MY WAY.
[MEXICAN MUSIC]
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
-GOT YOU.
-GOSH, SHAUNI, YOU SURE
ARE GOOD AT THIS GAME.
-YEARS OF INTENSIVE TRAINING.
HEY, YOU WANT SOME MORE COCOA?
-THANKS.
-GREAT.
-IT'S REALLY NICE OF YOU TO LET
ME HANG OUT WITH YOU HERE.
-MY PLEASURE.
-REALLY?
-HERE WE GO.
-THANKS. I MOVED.
SO, YOU WERE SAYING?
ABOUT LIKING ME BEING HERE?
-OH, OH, YEAH.
YOU KNOW,
WITH EDDIE OUT OF TOWN,
IT GETS KIND OF LONELY
AROUND HERE.
IT'S NICE TO HAVE
A MAN AROUND THE HOUSE.
-IF I WERE YOUR BOYFRIEND,
I'D NEVER LEAVE TOWN
WITHOUT YOU.
-THAT'S SWEET.
-I MEAN IT, I'D BE
MUCH BETTER TO YOU THAN EDDIE.
I'D BRING YOU FLOWERS, I'D TAKE
YOUR LUNCH AT THE TOWER,
AND I'D EVEN CARRY
YOUR LIFEGUARD STUFF FOR YOU.
-BUT, HOBIE.
YOU ALREADY DO ALL THAT.
-I KNOW.
-HOBIE.
-I THOUGHT I--
-WHAT?
HOBIE.
[SIRENS WAILING ON TV]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
[TV TURNS OFF]
-YEAH?
THORPE: IT'S ME.
-IT'S YOU?
WELL, THAT WAS QUICK.
I BET YOU HAD A STOPWATCH
DURING YOUR WEDDING CEREMONY.
-I COULDN'T DO IT, MITCH.
I GOT UP TO THE COUNTER
AND HANDED ACROSS
THE DIVORCE PAPERS,
BUT WHEN THE CLERK REACHED
FOR THEM, I PULLED THEM BACK.
-WHAT MADE YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND?
-WHEN I HELD OUT THE PAPERS,
I SAW THAT GOLD BAND.
ALL THE RATIONALIZATIONS
IN THE WORLD COULDN'T CHANGE
THE WAY I SUDDENLY FELT.
-THESE FEELING
HAVE BEEN ALWAYS THERE,
YOU'VE JUST BEEN MOVING
TOO FAST TO SEE THEM.
-OH, THE LAST FEW DAYS...
THE CLUB, THE CAR
HAVE BEEN GREAT.
BUT NOT AS GREAT AS IT
WOULD'VE BEEN IF I COULD'VE...
SHARE IT WITH DORIS.
I'D FORGOTTEN HOW TO JUST...
LIVE FOR MYSELF.
FOR SO LONG, ALL MY THOUGHTS,
MY DREAMS HAVE...
ALWAYS INCLUDED HER.
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO STOP THAT.
I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO.
-YOU KNOW, YOU'D BE SURPRISED
HOW THAT CHANGES.
I MEAN, IF ENDING THIS
IS REALLY WHAT YOU WANT.
-OH, I THINK NOW...
OUR MARRIAGE WAS PRETTY FLAT
THE LAST FEW YEARS.
BORING, I GUESS.
MAYBE THAT MAKES IT A SHAM,
I DON'T KNOW.
BUT I HONESTLY THOUGHT THIS IS.
THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
-MAYBE IT IS.
BUT THERE'S NO HURRY.
-YEAH.
YEAH.
THE OTHER NIGHT,
AFTER SHE SLAMMED
THE FRONT DOOR ON ME, I JUST...
STOOD THERE,
HOLDING MY SUITCASES.
BEFORE I KNEW IT, I WAS HERE.
I HAD NOWHERE ELSE TO GO.
-YOU CAN STAY HERE
AS LONG AS IT TAKES.
BUT GO TALK TO HER.
-YEAH.
SHAUNI: HOBIE.
HOBIE!
WAIT!
HI.
I WANNA TALK TO YOU.
-YOU MEAN YOU WANT TO KILL ME.
-WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT?
-FOR WHAT I DID.
-I THINK WHAT YOU DID WAS SWEET.
-"SWEET"?
THAT RANKS RIGHT UP THERE
WITH "CUTE."
YOU MEAN SHOVE OFF.
-WAIT.
I'M GLAD YOU KISSED ME.
-YOU ARE?
-YEAH.
YOU KNOW, SOME PEOPLE
GO THROUGH THEIR WHOLE LIVES
NEVER HAVING ANYONE
EVER FALL IN LOVE WITH THEM.
BUT I HAVE TWO PEOPLE.
I THINK THAT'S PRETTY SPECIAL.
-YEAH, I GUESS IT IS.
BUT YOU CAN'T DATE BOTH OF US.
-I KNOW.
-AND YOU WERE DATING
EDDIE FIRST.
-TRUE.
-IT WOULD PROBABLY HURT HIM
IF YOU DUMPED HIM
FOR A 13- YEAR-OLD.
-YEAH.
-SO MAYBE WE COULD JUST BE
FRIENDS FOR A WHILE.
-THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
-FRIENDS?
-GOOD FRIENDS.
[MEXICAN MUSIC PLAYING]
-FIRST YOU WRECK THE FURNITURE,
NOW THE WIRING.
WHY DON'T JUST BURN THE PLACE
DOWN AND GET IT OVER WITH?
-WE'LL MAKE IT GOOD AS NEW AS
SOON AS WE FINISH WITH RIGLER.
[THUD]
-A SMALL SACRIFICE
TO GET RID OF THAT VULTURE.
-YEAH, IT'S A BIGGER SACRIFICE
THAN ANYONE ELSE AROUND HERE
HAS EVER MADE.
-DON'T JUDGE THEM TOO HARSHLY.
THEY'RE AFRAID
FOR THEIR FAMILIES.
LOOK, RIGLER IS A COYOTE.
HE HAS TAKEN MANY OF OUR PEOPLE
ACROSS THE BORDER.
AND IF WE DON'T DO
WHAT HE WANTS,
HE CAN TELL THE AMERICAN
AUTHORITIES WHERE THEY ARE.
-AS IF HE REALLY KNEW.
-AND YOU WOULD TAKE THE CHANCE?
OF COURSE YOU WOULD.
AND SO DID OUR SHERIFF.
HE TRIED TO STOP RIGLER.
THEY TIED HIM
TO THE BACK OF A TRUCK.
THEY DRAGGED HIM THROUGH
THESE STREETS UNTIL HE WAS DEAD.
SO YOU SEE, THEY HAVE PLENTY
OF REASONS TO BE AFRAID.
-WELL, SO DOES RIGLER.
HE JUST DOESN'T KNOW IT YET.
HEY, BOYS.
-READY?
-ALMOST.
CRAIG: LET'S DO IT.
[MEXICAN MUSIC PLAYING]
-HE'S GONE, HE'S GONE.
-OKAY.
-THIS BETTER BE GOOD.
-IT'S GONNA BE GREAT. TRUST ME.
NEVER.
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
-THEY'RE COMING, THEY'RE COMING.
-OKAY, LET'S GO.
OKAY, WE GOT THEM.
-TERRIFIC. HOW?
-ALL WE GOTTA DO IS
PUT THESE BABIES TOGETHER.
-I'LL DO THE HONORS.
-WAIT.
[CLATTER]
-YOU BLEW UP MY JEEP.
-NO, NO, NO.
YOU BLEW UP YOUR JEEP.
-GUYS, GUYS, COME ON, LET'S GO.
-I BLEW UP MY JEEP.
I BLEW UP MY JEEP!
-MIRAFLORES
IS GONNA PAY FOR THIS!
-EVERYBODY! COME ON NOW!
HEY, RIGLER'S COMING.
COME ON!
COME ON, WE GOTTA GET READY.
-RIGLER'S COMING!
GATHER ROUND.
WE NEED YOUR HELP.
-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
-RIGLER AND HIS MEN ARE COMING.
THEY'LL DESTROY THE TOWN
IF WE DON'T STOP THEM.
-WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
-CORT BLEW UP THEIR JEEP.
-NO, NO, NO,
CRAIG BLEW UP THEIR JEEP.
-YEAH, CRAIG BLEW UP HIS JEEP.
-RIGLER AND HIS MEN,
THEY'RE COMING.
-IF I WERE YOU, I'D RUN.
-THAT'S RIGHT.
-IF I WERE YOU, I'D FIGHT.
IT'S NOT US
THEY'RE GOING TO BE AFTER.
-IT WAS YOU
WHO BLEW UP THEIR JEEP.
-THAT'S NOT THE WAY
THEY'RE GONNA SEE IT.
-THEN WE'LL TELL THEM ABOUT IT.
-NO, WE DID IT TO GET THEM HERE.
YOU CAN'T BEAT THEM ALONE,
AND WE CAN'T BEAT THEM ALONE.
BUT WE CAN DO IT TOGETHER.
-HAVE WE NO DIGNITY?
RIGLER HAS TAKEN AWAY
OUR SHERIFF.
HE'S TAKEN AWAY OUR PRIDE.
ARE WE JUST GOING TO STAND HERE
AND LET HIM BURN DOWN OUR TOWN?
-LOOKS LIKE IT.
-SO WE'LL BE BURNED.
-THIS IS WHERE WE GREW UP.
THINK ABOUT WHAT THAT
MEANS TO YOU.
THINK ABOUT WHAT THIS TOWN
WAS LIKE BEFORE THEY SHOWED UP.
THINK ABOUT WHO YOU ARE NOW.
AND THINK OF WHO YOU USED TO BE.
MAN: THERE THEY ARE.
[SUSPENSE MUSIC]
-TAKE YOUR LAST LONG LOOK
AT MIRAFLORES.
'CAUSE TOMORROW
IT'S GONNA BE ASHES.
-WALK AWAY
WHILE YOU STILL CAN.
-[LAUGHS]
[GLASS SHATTERS]
[HEROIC MUSIC]
[MOANS]
-NOW DON'T STOMACH THE EARTH.
MIRAFLORES BELONGS TO US.
[CHEERING]
-I GUESS THIS IS WHERE THE TOWN
SHOWERS US WITH APPRECIATION.
[BOOING]
-YOU CAN SEND THE AUTHORITIES
TO PICK UP THIS GARBAGE.
BUT IF I SEE YOUR FACE
HERE AGAIN,
I'LL SCRATCH IT OFF.
-HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT AFTER
EVERYTHING WE'VE DONE FOR YOU?
[MEXICAN MUSIC PLAYING]
-OH, MAN.
I NEED A VACATION.
[HEROIC MUSIC]
[ENDING THEME PLAYS]
-♪ SOME PEOPLE STAND
IN THE DARKNESS ♪
♪ AFRAID TO STEP
INTO THE LIGHT ♪
♪ SOME PEOPLE NEED
TO HELP SOMEBODY ♪
♪ WHEN THE EDGE OF
SURRENDER'S IN SIGHT ♪
♪ DON'T YOU WORRY
♪ IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I'M ALWAYS READY
♪ I WON'T LET YOU
OUT OF MY SIGHT ♪
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ NEVER YOU FEAR
♪ NO, DON'T YOU FEAR
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ FOREVER AND ALWAYS
♪ I'M ALWAYS HERE
♪ 'CAUSE I'M ALWAYS READY
♪ I WON'T LET YOU
OUT OF MY SIGHT ♪
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ NEVER YOU FEAR
♪ NO, DON'T YOU FEAR
♪ I'LL BE READY
♪ FOREVER AND ALWAYS
♪ I'M ALWAYS HERE
[SOFT ROCK PLAYING]
-HEY, HEY, HEY, YOU'RE LATE.
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO RELIEVE ME
AN HOUR AGO.
CORT: SORRY, MAN.
LOLA NEEDED ME.
I GOT A MEETING WAITING
FOR ME BACK AT THE LOFT.
I'VE GOT TO BE
AT COURT AT THREE.
I'VE GOT A BUSINESS LUNCH
IN BETWEEN.
I DON'T EVEN HAVE TIME TO GO
BACK TO HEADQUARTERS TO CHANGE.
AND YOU'RE SORRY?
LOOK, I'M HOLDING DOWN TWO JOBS
AND A MARRIAGE.
YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IF I DON'T
MAINTAIN A STRICT SCHEDULE?
CHAOS.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH CHAOS?
SPENT THE BEST TIMES
OF MY LIFE THERE.
-WE'VE TALKED A LOT ABOUT HOW
TO SAVE A PERSON WHO'S DROWNING.
NOW, SAVING A LIFE DOES NOT END
WHEN YOU PULL A PERSON
OUT OF THE WATER.
WHAT YOU DO ON THE SAND
IS JUST AS IMPORTANT.
TODAY WE'RE GONNA PRACTICE
WHAT WE LEARNED IN CPR.
SO I'M GONNA NEED A VOLUNTEER.
ANYBODY?
HOBIE, WHAT ABOUT YOU?
COME ON.
LIE DOWN.
NOW I'M GONNA GO OVER
THE STEPS ONE BY ONE.
FIRST OF ALL, YOU'RE GONNA
TILT HIS HEAD BACK.
YOU'RE GONNA OPEN THE AIRWAY.
AND THEN CHECK FOR BREATHING.
OKAY, NOW YOU'RE GONNA PINCH
HIS NOSE SHUT,
YOU'RE GONNA LEAN FORWARD,
AND YOU'RE GONNA BLOW AIR
INTO HIS MOUTH.
GOT IT?
NOW LET ME SHOW YOU AGAIN.
-ALL RIGHT, I'M OUT OF HERE.
I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
NOT UNLESS YOU'RE IN MEXICO.
I'M GIVING EDDIE
A SURFING LESSON.
-WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
COME HERE. COME ON.
-WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
HEY, GUYS, I GOT SOMETHING
ON MY FISHER LINE.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.
-LET'S CHECK IT OUT.
-WELL, HOT DAMN.
THAT'S A GENUINE ANTIQUE.
BACK IN WORLD WAR II, THE NAVY
USED STRING THESE BABIES
ALL ALONG THE COAST.
THAT'S A CLASSIC.
-THAT'S A BOMB.
-WHAT, THIS LITTLE FIRECRACKER?
NO, NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
AS LONG AS THAT SPIKE'S STICKING
UP, NOTHING CAN SET HER OFF.
I'LL JUST GO DEFUSE IT.
-YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.
-[SCREAMS]
AH, I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT.
-OF COURSE I'M RIGHT.
THIS IS A JOB
FOR TRAINED PROFESSIONALS,
NOT A COUPLE LIFEGUARDS.
I'LL CALL THE BOMB SQUAD.
THEY'LL COME OUT
AND CORDON OFF THE BEACH.
[SCREAMING]
-GO ON, CALL FOR BACKUP.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
-ARE YOU OKAY?
-WHAT A KISS.
-IT WAS JUST MOUTH-TO-MOUTH.
-IN YOUR DREAMS.
-[LAUGHS]
-CRAIG, JOHN.
-AND YOU WANTED THE BOMB SQUAD
TO HAVE ALL THE FUN.
-ARE YOU OKAY?
OH, MAN.
I NEED A VACATION.
-GREAT, WE LEAVE
HEADQUARTERS AT SIX.
[FRANTIC MUSIC]
-REMEMBER TO FILE
THE INCIDENT REPORTS
NO LATER THAN FIVE O'CLOCK.
-RIGHT.
-I'M COUNTING ON YOU, MITCH,
TO KEEP THINGS RUNNING SMOOTHLY
WHILE I'M GONE.
-I THOUGHT YOU WERE DRIVING
YOUR SON TO THE AIRPORT,
NOT ALL THE WAY TO
THE UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON.
-SORRY,
IT'S JUST THAT WITH MY YOUNGEST
FINALLY LEAVING THE NEST,
I FEEL LIKE I'M EMBARKING
ON A WHOLE NEW LIFE.
THIS IS THE FIRST LEG OF IT
COULD BE A VERY, VERY EXCITING
JOURNEY.
-DRIVE SAFELY.
-YEAH. OH.
-DON'T FORGET MY SOMBRERO.
IT IS GONNA LOOK SO GREAT
ON THE WALL.
-FINE.
-AND A PONCHO WOULD BE NICE.
AND IF YOU FIND ANY TURQUOISE
EARRINGS, WOULD YOU BUY THOSE?
-SHAUNI, I'M GOING TO A BEACH,
NOT A SHOPPING MALL.
-SO, YOU READY?
-YEAH, YOU BET.
-OKAY, HERE'S MY SHOPPING LIST.
BE SURE AND HAGGLE.
-OKAY, FINE.
-SEE YOU MONDAY.
UH-HUH.
NICE LIPSTICK.
HEY, JOHN, EDDIE.
COME ON, LET'S HIT THE ROAD.
I GOT ALL YOUR STUFF.
-[LAUGHS]
OH, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME
I'VE EVER SEEN THIS THING
WITHOUT A TARP OVER IT.
-LOOKS LIKE IT SHOULD HAVE
SIX FEET OF DIRT
AND A HEADSTONE OVER IT.
-THESE THINGS WERE BUILT
TO RUN FOREVER.
-ESPECIALLY IF YOU SPEND
EVERY WEEKEND WORKING ON IT.
-IT WAS MY FIRST CAR.
IT'S A LABOR OF LOVE.
COME ON, LET'S GO.
-WHERE?
-VACATION. MEXICO. SURFING.
I TOLD YOU I NEEDED A VACATION.
THAT WAS AN INVITATION
THIS MORNING, WASN'T IT?
-WHAT ABOUT YOUR SCHEDULE?
-I PUSHED MY COURT DATE
BACK A WEEK.
-WELL, LET'S GO.
-ALL RIGHT.
OKAY, GUYS, PREPARE YOURSELVES
FOR AN UNFORGETTABLE EXPERIENCE.
[CHEERING]
ISN'T THIS GREAT?
A NICE, QUIET NIGHT,
A ROARING FIREPLACE,
A FRIENDLY GAME OF CHECKERS
BETWEEN FATHER AND SON.
YOU KNOW, THIS IS WHAT
FAMILY LIFE IS ALL ABOUT.
-DIE, BIG DOG. KING ME.
NORMAN ROCKWELL
WOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOU.
WHO'S HE?
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
-HE MAKES CALENDARS.
EVENING, MITCH.
CAPTAIN.
-I WAS JUST DRIVING AROUND
AND I FIGURED
WHY NOT STOP BY
AND SAY HELLO TO MITCH.
HELLO, MITCH.
I FORGOT WHAT A NICE PLACE
YOU'VE GOT HERE.
SPACIOUS. RUSTIC. HOMEY.
-WELL, YOU'RE WELCOME TO
SEE IT FROM THE INSIDE.
COME ON IN.
-THANKS.
-IS THIS GONNA BE A LONG VISIT?
-I HAD KIND OF AN INCIDENT
WITH MY WIFE, MITCH.
-AN INCIDENT?
-SHE THREW ME OUT.
-I'LL GO GET A SLEEPING BAG AND
SOME BLANKETS OUT OF THE GARAGE.
-I GOT BACK FROM THE AIRPORT,
WALKED IN THE HOUSE,
AND THERE WERE MY BAGS.
LOOK HOW THEY'RE BULGING.
SHE HAS NO IDEA
HOW TO PACK A SUITCASE.
I MUST HAVE SHOWED HER
A HUNDRED TIMES
HOW TO DO IT RIGHT.
-WANT SOME COFFEE?
SOMETHING TO EAT?
YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SAID?
NOW THAT TED'S FINALLY GONE, OUR
"SHAM OF A MARRIAGE" IS OVER.
IN 27 YEARS, I NEVER HEARD HER
USE THE WORD "SHAM".
I PICKED UP
SOME NEW VOCABULARY, TOO,
WHEN GAYLE LEFT ME.
-YOU LIGHT?
-DARK.
-LOOKS LIKE I GOT HERE
JUST IN TIME, MITCH.
YOU'VE GOT A LOT TO LEARN
ABOUT CHECKERS.
AND I'M JUST THE MAN
TO TEACH YOU.
[MEXICAN SONG PLAYING]
-I TOLD YOU WE SHOULDN'T LEAVE
THE HIGHWAY. NOW WE'RE LOST.
-THERE'S ONLY ONE THING TO DO.
WE TURN AROUND AND WE GO BACK
AND WE PICK UP THE HIGHWAY.
-NO.
-WE'RE NOT LOST, MAN.
-ARE WE?
-NO.
WELL, THEN SHOW ME
WHERE WE ARE ON THE MAP.
-[SIGHS]
[GRUNTS]
SOME PLACES YOU HAVE TO FIND
WITHOUT A MAP.
-[SIGHS]
HOW WOULD THAT SERVE YOU?
-I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, IF YOU
GUYS EVER HAVE AN EXPERIENCE
AS INTENSE AS THE ONE
I HAD WITH INES,
YOU'LL BE ABLE TO FIND
YOUR WAY BACK, TOO.
-INES WHO?
[MEXICAN SONG PLAYING]
CORT: WOO HOO HOO! WAS I LYING?
THIS IS INCREDIBLE.
-HEY, GUYS, WE GOTTA LOOP
OR SURF, LET'S GO.
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
-♪ IT DOESN'T GET
ANY BETTER THAN THIS ♪
♪ HERE WE ARE
MAKING OUR WAY ♪
♪ NOT LOOKING BACK
WITH OUR GAME ON TRACK ♪
♪ CHASING OUR WORRIES AWAY
♪ HEY, HEY, HEY
♪ THESE ARE
THE GOOD OLD DAYS ♪
♪ READY, SET,
AND GOING FOR IT ♪
♪ HERE WE GO
MAKING OUR DREAMS ♪
♪ LEAVING THE GROUND
WITH OUR HEADS IN THE CLOUDS ♪
♪ WHO KNOWS
WHERE THIS WILL LEAD ♪
♪ HEY, HEY, HEY
♪ THESE ARE
THE GOOD OLD DAYS ♪
♪ IT DOESN'T MATTER
WHAT THEY SAY ♪
♪ WE CAN'T HEAR THEM
FROM THIS WAVE ♪
♪ IT ONLY MATTERS
WHAT WE DO ♪
♪ THEY CAN'T TAKE
THESE MEMORIES FROM YOU ♪
♪ THESE ARE
THE GOOD OLD DAYS ♪
♪ THESE ARE
THE GOOD OLD DAYS ♪
♪ THESE ARE
THE GOOD OLD DAYS ♪
-SATISFIED?
-PARADISE.
-I COULD GET USED TO THIS.
[SUSPENSE MUSIC]
ALL: HEY, HEY, HEY!
-HEY, COME BACK!
-COME HERE, STOP!
-HEY, HEY!
-HEY.
-AT LEAST THEY LEFT OUR CLOTHES.
WHERE WERE THE CAR KEYS?
-CAR KEYS?
-YOU DROVE LAST.
WHERE WERE THE CAR KEYS?
-IN THE CAR.
-IN THE CAR! WITH THE MONEY
AND THE SUPPLIES.
-OOPS.
-"OOPS"?
[POUNDING]
5:30 A.M., MISTER.
RISE AND SHINE.
YOU DON'T WANNA BE LATE
FOR YOUR DUTY CALL.
MY DUTY CALL IS NOT UNTIL 7:30.
-THE WAY I FIGURE,
IT'LL TAKE 30 MINUTES
TO CONSUME THE MEAL
AND PERUSE THE NEWSPAPER,
14 TO 17 MINUTES
TO JOG TO HEADQUARTERS,
HALF HOUR TO SHOWER UP
AND GET READY,
ANOTHER 30 MINUTES TO SCAN
YESTERDAY'S INCIDENT REPORTS,
TEN TO MAKE
THE TOWER ASSIGNMENTS,
AND FIVE TO PREP FOR ROLL CALL.
-WHAT ABOUT MY CUP OF COFFEE?
I LIKE A CUP OF COFFEE AT WORK.
-I FACTORED THAT INTO PREP.
-DECAFFEINATED, OF COURSE.
-OF COURSE.
-GOTTA KEEP THE SENSES SHARP.
-WHAT IS THAT SMELL?
-FRESH, HOT,
RECONSTITUTED MEAT CAKES.
THEY'RE GREAT.
I LEARNED TO LOVE THEM
IN THE ARMY.
GO ON, CHOW DOWN.
YOU ONLY GOT 29 MINUTES LEFT.
[SINGS]
-DAD, WE'VE GOT
TO GET RID OF HIM.
-GIVE HIM A BREAK, WILL YOU?
HE'S GOING THROUGH A ROUGH TIME.
-IF WE DON'T, I'LL GO CRAZY.
EVEN WORSE, I'LL GO HUNGRY
-HEY, GUYS, IF A SCORPION
SEES YOUR SHADOW,
IT'LL GET OUT OF THE WAY, RIGHT?
-ARE YOU SURE THERE'S A CHARMING
LITTLE BEACH TOWN AHEAD?
-YEAH, JUST AROUND
THE NEXT BEND.
-THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID
SIX BENDS AGO.
TOO BAD
YOU THREW THE MAP AWAY.
WHAT'S THERE?
-FRIENDLIEST LITTLE PLACE
I'VE EVER BEEN.
FOLKS THERE TOOK ME IN
LIKE I WAS LONG-LOST FAMILY.
THE FACT IS I THOUGHT
ABOUT SETTLING
IN MIRAFLORES PERMANENTLY.
-I WISH YOU HAD.
-I MEAN, YOU STEP ON A SCORPION,
IT'S INSTANT DEATH, RIGHT?
-NO.
-REALLY? THAT'S GOOD,
THAT'S GOOD.
-PROBABLY TAKE YOU DAYS TO DIE.
-SO WHEN WE GET TO THIS LITTLE
GARDEN PARADISE,
WE SHOULD CALL MITCH
AND ASK HIM TO PICK US UP.
-THAT SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN.
OF COURSE, IT'D WORK BETTER
IF THERE WAS A PHONE THERE.
GLAD TO SEE YOU GOT YOUR
THINKING CAP ON THERE, CRAIG.
-ALL RIGHT, TELL ME, SO WHAT DO
I DO IF I SEE A SCORPION?
-LET ME KNOW.
I WANT TO THROW MYSELF ON IT.
-THAT'S GREAT, GUYS.
GOOD TIMES ARE JUST BEGINNING.
-JUST WAIT TILL WE GET
TO MIRAFLORES.
-I WANT MY JEEP.
-UH.
-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
-I'M STARVING.
WHAT HAPPENED
TO THE LEFT-OVER PIZZA?
-HOBIE ATE IT THIS MORNING.
-THAT LITTLE SNEAK.
I'LL JUST HAVE HIS DRY CEREAL.
-IS THORPE EATING YOU OUT
OF HOUSE AND HOME?
-WORSE. HE'S COOKING.
-OH, I DON'T KNOW
HOW YOU CAN STAND IT.
-NOT SO BAD, I WASH IT DOWN
WITH ORANGE JUICE AND TOSS
THE REST IN THE GARBAGE CAN
WHEN HIS BACK IS TURNED.
-I MEANT THORPE.
IT MUST BE HELL LIVING
WITH A DRILL SERGEANT.
-I THINK IT'S HIS WAY OF DEALING
WITH THE STRESS, I SUPPOSE.
YOU KNOW, WHEN GAYLE LEFT ME,
I WENT LITTLE CRAZY, TOO.
-THORPE HAS ALWAYS BEEN
A LITTLE CRAZY.
-JILL, YOU'RE NOT BEING FAIR.
UNDERNEATH THAT STARCHED SHIRT
IS A VERY SENSITIVE MAN.
-UNDERNEATH THAT STARCHED SHIRT
IS A STARCHED UNDERSHIRT.
-MITCH! JUST THE MAN
I WANTED TO SEE.
WHAT DO YOU SAY WE CUT OUT
A LITTLE EARLY TONIGHT, HUH?
-EARLY?
-YEAH. KEEP THIS UNDER YOUR HAT,
RILEY.
SHIFT'S OVER AT SEVEN.
WHAT DO YOU SAY WE SNEAK OUT
AT AROUND 6:50,
CHANGE INTO SOME DANCING DUDS,
AND HIT THE DISCOS.
MITCH: DISCOS?
-YEAH, I HEARD MCMURTRY'S IS A
GREAT PLACE TO TROLL FOR CHICKS.
-"CHICKS"?
-LIGHTEN UP, RILEY.
MAN TALK. NOTHING PERSONAL.
-DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE MOVING
A LITTLE FAST HERE?
-MITCH, I THINK
THIS IS THE BEST THING
THAT COULD'VE HAPPENED TO ME.
LAW OF THE JUNGLE.
RIGHT, RILEY?
FAMILIES EXIST TO RAISE
AND NURTURE OFFSPRING.
OUR OFFSPRING ARE GROWN.
SO THE MARRIAGE
IS POINTLESS, RIGHT?
BEST OF ALL,
I STILL GOT MY YOUTH.
I'M STILL YOUNG,
I'VE STILL GOT THE MOVES.
AND TONIGHT, THE KING
WILL SHOW YOU A FEW.
[LAUGHS]
YOU LIKE HOBIE?
-YEAH.
-GREAT.
WOULD YOU MAKE SURE HE'S
IN BED BY NINE O'CLOCK?
HE'S GOT A BIG DAY TOMORROW.
6:50, MITCH.
YOU'RE DRIVING.
[HUMS]
-YEAH, YOU WERE RIGHT.
CAN'T GET ANY MORE SENSITIVE
THAN THAT.
-THANKS FOR LETTING ME DO
MY JUNIOR LIFEGUARD
APPRENTICESHIP AT YOUR TOWER.
-NO PROBLEM. I COULD USE
THE EXTRA SET OF EYES.
AND ARMS.
-I MEAN, SURE I'M LUCKY TO HAVE
YOU SHOWING ME THE ROPES.
-WELL, I IMAGINE YOUR DAD
SHOWED YOU EVERY STRAND.
-HE SHOWED ME HOW IT SHOULD BE.
NOW I WANNA SEE HOW IT IS
FROM THE BEST LIFEGUARD.
-I AM, REALLY?
-HANDS DOWN, THE BEST.
-YOU KNOW, I THINK
THIS APPRENTICESHIP THING
IS GONNA WORK OUT JUST FINE.
NOW, THE SECRET
TO SWEEPING A TOWER
IS ALL IN THE BRUSH STROKE.
WATCH.
ONE, TWO, THREE.
ONE, TWO, THREE.
ONE, TWO, THREE.
YOU PRACTICE,
I'LL SUPERVISE.
-HOW MUCH FUN?
-IS THAT A SCORPION?
-NO.
WE'RE HERE.
[CHILDREN LAUGHING]
[DOG BARKING]
CRAIG: THIS IS MIRAFLORES?
-YEAH.
EDDIE: THIS IS WHERE YOU WANTED
TO STAY FOREVER?
-UH-HUH.
-CRAIG: I GUESS THAT WAS BEFORE
THEY DROPPED THE BOMB.
-HEY, THERE'S MIGUEL.
NOW IF ANYBODY IN THIS TOWN
CAN HELP US OUT, IT'S MIGUEL.
HEY MIGUEL! "MI HERMANO!"
-HEY, I THOUGHT YOU SAID
THESE PEOPLE WERE LIKE FAMILY.
-I DON'T GET IT, MAN. I LIVED
WITH THIS GUY FOR A WEEK.
-MAYBE YOU OVERSTAYED
YOUR WELCOME.
-HEY! HEY, JUAN.
[LAUGHS]
-[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
-LOOK, THERE'S ONE PERSON
IN THIS TOWN
WHO'S GONNA TREAT
US RIGHT, OKAY?
EDDIE: INES?
-YEAH.
SHE'S GONNA BE THRILLED
TO SEE ME.
[LAUGHS]
HEY, BARKEEP.
"TRES CERVEZAS, POR FAVOR."
OH, YEAH.
-I'LL BRING YOU A MENU.
-GRACIAS, "SEÑORITA."
-HEY!
JOHN D.
-I TOLD YOU
I'D BE BACK SOMEDAY.
WHAT DID I SAY?
[GLASS SHATTERS]
-YOU DIDN'T TELL ME
YOU'D BE LEAVING TOWN.
-DID I FORGET TO MENTION THAT?
-SHE'S THRILLED.
-I CAN SEE THAT.
-TEQUILA.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
TEQUI--
OH, COME ON.
TEQUILA, "COMPRENDE?"
-HEY, HEY, HEY.
DO YOU MIND?
I'M IN THE MIDDLE
OF SOMETHING PERSONAL HERE.
-WHAT DID YOU SAY?
-NOTHING, NOTHING AT ALL.
-I SAID WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE
OF SOMETHING PERSONAL HERE,
SO JUST COOL YOUR JETS.
-I THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID.
OH, GOD, NEVER THOUGHT
IT'D BE SO GREAT
TO HEAR AN AMERICAN TALKING!
KYLE RIGLER. HOW ARE YOU DOING?
-JOHN D. CORT.
THIS IS CRAIG POMEROY
AND EDDIE KRAMER.
KYLE: HOW ARE YOU DOING?
[LAUGHS]
THE DRINKS ARE ON ME, BOYS.
[LAUGHS]
-KEEP YOUR FILTHY PAWS OFF ME.
DON'T TOUCH ME.
-SIT DOWN, BOY. THEY'RE
JUST HAVING A LITTLE FUN.
-YEAH, WELL, THE PARTY IS OVER.
-OH, NOT TILL I SAY SO.
[GLASS SHATTERS]
-WORKS EVERY TIME.
-WATCH WITH THE WALL.
-CHEERS.
-SHOULD WE HELP HIM?
-SAVE YOUR STRENGTH.
-OH.
-[GASPS]
[GRUNTING]
INES: STOP.
STOP IT, YOU'RE BREAKING
EVERYTHING.
-[SCREAMS]
[GLASS SHATTERS]
-[MOANS]
-[MOANS]
-OH.
THE SERVICE STINKS.
I'LL...
I'LL BE BACK TO GET MY REFUND.
[GLASS SHATTERS]
-JOHN, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
-[MOANS]
[GRUNTS]
[CHUCKLES]
WE SHOWED THEM, DIDN'T WE?
[ENGINE STARTS]
THAT'S MY JEEP.
[MOANS]
-5:30 A.M. AND I'M...
RARING TO GO.
CAPTAIN?
-MORNING.
-HEY.
-ROUGH NIGHT, HUH?
-ARE YOU KIDDING?
[CHUCKLES]
IT WAS WONDERFUL.
SORRY I KEPT CUTTING IN
ON YOU LIKE THAT.
-NO, NO, THAT'S OKAY.
LOOKED LIKE YOU
WERE HAVING A BLAST.
I LEFT AT MIDNIGHT,
YOU WERE STILL DANCING AWAY.
-OH, MITCH,
I HAD THE MUSIC IN ME.
I HAVEN'T FELT THIS GOOD
IN... 27 YEARS.
-HOW DID YOU GET HOME, ANYWAY?
-HITCHED A RIDE
WITH A COUPLE GIRLS.
YOU KNOW HOW IT IS.
-OH, YEAH. I MEAN,
IT HAPPENS TO ME ALL THE TIME.
-SINGLE LIFE IS GREAT.
YOU SHOULD HAVE CLUED ME IN
LONG BEFORE THIS.
-RIGHT.
YOU'VE BEEN OUT HERE ALL NIGHT?
-YEAH.
COULDN'T SLEEP. ALL WOUND UP.
THE ADRENALINE, I TELL YOU.
YOU KNOW.
-YEAH, YEAH, I KNOW.
THINKING ABOUT HER, HUH?
-WHO?
-YOUR WIFE.
-YEAH, YEAH.
I WAS THINKING NOW I CAN FINALLY
GET THAT SPORTS CAR
SHE'D NEVER LET ME BUY.
-[CHUCKLES]
-[LAUGHS]
-I'LL MAKE SOME BREAKFAST.
-YEAH.
[HUMS]
[ROOSTER CROWING]
[DOOR OPENS]
-HEY!
-GET OUT OF HERE.
-SORRY, SORRY. WE'VE BEEN
INVITED TO LEAVE TOWN.
-BY THEM.
-I HOPE THESE GUYS
AREN'T ALL YOUR BROTHERS.
"SEÑOR" RIGLER WANTS YOU
TO LEAVE OUR TOWN.
-DON'T LISTEN TO THEM.
THEY'RE COWARDS.
-WE ARE NOT WANTED HERE. WE'RE
GETTING MY JEEP AND WE'RE GOING.
-THAT JEEP BELONGS
TO RIGLER NOW.
YOU FOOLS, LEAVE!
-WHO IS THIS GUY?
WHY'S EVERYBODY
SO SCARED OF HIM?
-"SEÑOR" RIGLER IS
A VERY POWERFUL MAN.
INES: NO, RIGLER IS A --
-INES! THINK
OF OUR FAMILIES, HUH?
-I'LL TELL YOU WHO HE IS.
HE'S A CHEAP CROOK,
AND WHEN I SEE HIM,
I'M GONNA TELL HIM.
HE'S GONNA LISTEN TO REASON.
-COME ON, CRAIG, I DON'T THINK
THAT'S SUCH A GREAT IDEA.
-FINE.
I'LL DO IT MYSELF.
MAN: YOU SHOULD LEAVE RIGLER
ALONE.
-YOU COMING?
-WE CAN KICK RIGLER'S BUTT
IF WE HAVE TO.
-CRAIG, I HAVEN'T RECOVERED
FROM KICKING HIS BUTT YESTERDAY.
[CHUCKLES]
-YOU'D BETTER GET PACKING,
BECAUSE I'M GONNA BE BACK
IN A COUPLE HOURS.
EXCUSE ME.
MAN: YOU'LL GET HURT.
-EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME.
-CRAIG.
CRAIG: EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME.
-YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING.
A PORSCHE COSTS THAT MUCH?
YOU KNOW, AT THAT PRICE,
YOU OUGHT TO THROW IN
A POOL AND SIX BEDROOMS.
-WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
-THE PROBLEM IS
AN AMERICAN FOUR-DOOR SEDAN
COSTS ABOUT 17,000.
YOU FIGURE A TWO-SEATER SHOULD
BE ABOUT HALF THAT PRICE, RIGHT?
-IT DOESN'T QUITE WORK THAT WAY.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU BOUGHT A CAR ANYWAY?
-1977. CAPRICE CLASSIC.
WOOD-GRAIN DASH, OPERA WINDOWS.
IT'S STILL IN MINT-CONDITION.
-KEEP IT.
-I DON'T KNOW, MITCH, THAT CAR
BELONGED TO THE OLD ME.
I WANT SOMETHING WILDER,
CRAZIER.
HELLO, THIS IS CAPTAIN
DON THORPE OVER AT BAYWATCH.
YEAH, WHAT KIND OF A DEAL
CAN YOU MAKE ME ON A CORVETTE?
YEAH, I'LL HOLD.
-CAPTAIN, YOU AND DORIS
HAVE ONLY BEEN SEPARATED
FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD SLOW DOWN HERE,
LOOK FOR A PLACE TO LIVE
INSTEAD OF CONCENTRATING
ON GETTING A NEW CAR.
NO, YOU GOTTA KEEP MOVING,
MITCH.
YOU SIT OUT ON THE ROAD OF LIFE,
TIME WILL RUN YOU OVER
AND GRIND YOU
RIGHT DOWN INTO THE ASPHALT.
YOU CAN QUOTE ME.
YEAH. YEAH.
YOU CALL THAT A DEAL?
SOUNDS LIKE THE NATIONAL DEBT.
NO, WE'RE NOT IN A BALL PARK.
WE'RE NOT EVEN
IN THE SAME COUNTRY.
AND WHAT ABOUT A LEASE?
[SUSPENSE MUSIC]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
-OH.
-YOU'D BETTER BE INSTALLING
A STEREO, BOY, OR YOU'RE DEAD.
-[GRUNTS]
WHAT WE HAVE IS A LITTLE
MISUNDERSTANDING HERE.
YOU SEE, THIS IS MY JEEP.
AND YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T KNOW
THAT WHEN YOU TOOK IT.
-YEAH, I HEAR. YOU'RE RIGHT.
THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING.
-I THOUGHT IT MIGHT.
WHY DON'T WE STEP OVER HERE
AND WORK THIS OUT, HUH?
-GOOD.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
-CAN I GIVE YOU A LIFT?
-NO, THANKS.
CAPTAIN?
-ISN'T SHE A BEAUTY?
-YEAH, OF COURSE.
-HOP IN, LET'S CRUISE.
-[LAUGHS]
NO, THANKS, I'VE HAD MY FILL
OF NIGHTLIFE LATELY.
-FORGET MCMURTRY'S. I WANNA
SWING BY THE COURTHOUSE.
I'VE GOT SOME DIVORCE PAPERS
TO FILE.
-DIVORCE PAPERS?
YOU'RE SAYING YOU TALKED
TO YOUR WIFE ABOUT THIS?
-NO, WHY SHOULD I?
-FIND OUT
HOW SHE FEELS ABOUT THIS
BEFORE YOU DO SOMETHING
YOU REGRET.
-ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER
THAN WORDS, MITCH.
NO, SHE'S MADE UP HER MIND.
I WANNA MAKE THIS
FAST AND PAINLESS.
-SORRY, YOU'VE MARRIED
FOR 27 YEARS.
IT'S NOT GONNA BE
FAST AND PAINLESS.
YOU'RE FOOLING YOURSELF
IF YOU THINK IT IS.
THERE'S A LOT OF TALKING,
AND A LOT OF THINKING, AND...
THERE'S A LOT OF PAIN
YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH.
-THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
US, MITCH.
I DON'T WASTE TIME CRYING
OVER SPILLED MILK, I JUST...
CLEAN UP THE MESS.
COME ON, I'LL SHOW YOU
HOW IT'S DONE.
-NO, THANKS.
YOU GO CLEAN UP
ON YOUR OWN, HUH?
[ENGINE STARTS]
-OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU
BACK AT THE HOUSE.
-YEAH.
[DOOR OPENS]
-HEY, HOBIE.
-HEY.
-SINCE WHEN ARE YOU
INTO FLOWER ARRANGEMENTS?
-GET REAL.
THIS IS A FOR A GIRL.
I RISKED MY LIFE PICKING THESE.
-THORNS?
-FANGS.
YOU'D BE SURPRISED
HOW PROTECTIVE A DOG CAN BE
OVER A FLOWER GARDEN.
-SHE MUST BE AWFULLY SPECIAL.
-SURE IS.
GIRLS MY AGE,
WELL, THEY'RE JUST GIRLS.
SHE'S A WOMAN.
-SINCE WHEN ARE YOU
INTO DATING OLDER WOMEN?
-IS THAT WRONG? I MEAN,
YOU THINK IT'S STUPID?
-YOU LIKE HER?
-YEAH.
-AND SHE LIKES YOU?
-YEAH.
-THEN I'D SAY GO FOR IT.
BE IN BY NINE.
-[SIGHS]
-HI, THIS IS A SURPRISE.
-YEAH, I WAS, UM,
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
YOU KNOW.
-I KNOW.
-OH.
THESE ARE FOR YOU.
-WOW, WHAT'S
THE SPECIAL OCCASION?
-WELL, FOR, LIKE YOU LETTING ME
BE IN YOUR TOWER AND ALL.
YOU KNOW.
-I KNOW.
YOU WANNA COME IN?
-YEAH.
EDDIE: YOU GOT THAT?
-YEAH, IT'S GONNA BE
BETTER THAN NEW.
-SHOULDN'T CRAIG BE BACK BY NOW?
-CRAIG EVER TRY REASON ON YOU?
ONCE HE STARTS, HE DOESN'T
WIND DOWN FOR ABOUT THREE HOURS.
-WHEN YOU'RE DONE
WITH THE TABLE,
YOU CAN START FIXING
THE CHAIRS.
-YES, MA'AM.
-AND WHEN YOU'RE DONE
WITH THE CHAIRS,
START WASHING DISHES.
-WOW, HEY, LOOK, I DON'T MIND
FIXING THE FURNITURE WE BROKE,
BUT I DON'T DO DISHES.
-OH, THEN YOU HAVE THE MONEY
TO PAY YOUR BAR BILL?
-[CHUCKLES]
-ALL RIGHT, YOU WASH,
I'LL DRY.
-FINE.
[ENGINE REVS UP]
-COULDN'T BE.
-NO WAY.
EDDIE: HE DID IT.
-UNBELIEVABLE.
-ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
-ARE YOU OKAY?
-PEACHY.
-ANY MORE GREAT IDEAS?
-NO.
-GOOD.
NOW WE DO THIS MY WAY.
[MEXICAN MUSIC]
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
-GOT YOU.
-GOSH, SHAUNI, YOU SURE
ARE GOOD AT THIS GAME.
-YEARS OF INTENSIVE TRAINING.
HEY, YOU WANT SOME MORE COCOA?
-THANKS.
-GREAT.
-IT'S REALLY NICE OF YOU TO LET
ME HANG OUT WITH YOU HERE.
-MY PLEASURE.
-REALLY?
-HERE WE GO.
-THANKS. I MOVED.
SO, YOU WERE SAYING?
ABOUT LIKING ME BEING HERE?
-OH, OH, YEAH.
YOU KNOW,
WITH EDDIE OUT OF TOWN,
IT GETS KIND OF LONELY
AROUND HERE.
IT'S NICE TO HAVE
A MAN AROUND THE HOUSE.
-IF I WERE YOUR BOYFRIEND,
I'D NEVER LEAVE TOWN
WITHOUT YOU.
-THAT'S SWEET.
-I MEAN IT, I'D BE
MUCH BETTER TO YOU THAN EDDIE.
I'D BRING YOU FLOWERS, I'D TAKE
YOUR LUNCH AT THE TOWER,
AND I'D EVEN CARRY
YOUR LIFEGUARD STUFF FOR YOU.
-BUT, HOBIE.
YOU ALREADY DO ALL THAT.
-I KNOW.
-HOBIE.
-I THOUGHT I--
-WHAT?
HOBIE.
[SIRENS WAILING ON TV]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
[TV TURNS OFF]
-YEAH?
THORPE: IT'S ME.
-IT'S YOU?
WELL, THAT WAS QUICK.
I BET YOU HAD A STOPWATCH
DURING YOUR WEDDING CEREMONY.
-I COULDN'T DO IT, MITCH.
I GOT UP TO THE COUNTER
AND HANDED ACROSS
THE DIVORCE PAPERS,
BUT WHEN THE CLERK REACHED
FOR THEM, I PULLED THEM BACK.
-WHAT MADE YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND?
-WHEN I HELD OUT THE PAPERS,
I SAW THAT GOLD BAND.
ALL THE RATIONALIZATIONS
IN THE WORLD COULDN'T CHANGE
THE WAY I SUDDENLY FELT.
-THESE FEELING
HAVE BEEN ALWAYS THERE,
YOU'VE JUST BEEN MOVING
TOO FAST TO SEE THEM.
-OH, THE LAST FEW DAYS...
THE CLUB, THE CAR
HAVE BEEN GREAT.
BUT NOT AS GREAT AS IT
WOULD'VE BEEN IF I COULD'VE...
SHARE IT WITH DORIS.
I'D FORGOTTEN HOW TO JUST...
LIVE FOR MYSELF.
FOR SO LONG, ALL MY THOUGHTS,
MY DREAMS HAVE...
ALWAYS INCLUDED HER.
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO STOP THAT.
I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO.
-YOU KNOW, YOU'D BE SURPRISED
HOW THAT CHANGES.
I MEAN, IF ENDING THIS
IS REALLY WHAT YOU WANT.
-OH, I THINK NOW...
OUR MARRIAGE WAS PRETTY FLAT
THE LAST FEW YEARS.
BORING, I GUESS.
MAYBE THAT MAKES IT A SHAM,
I DON'T KNOW.
BUT I HONESTLY THOUGHT THIS IS.
THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
-MAYBE IT IS.
BUT THERE'S NO HURRY.
-YEAH.
YEAH.
THE OTHER NIGHT,
AFTER SHE SLAMMED
THE FRONT DOOR ON ME, I JUST...
STOOD THERE,
HOLDING MY SUITCASES.
BEFORE I KNEW IT, I WAS HERE.
I HAD NOWHERE ELSE TO GO.
-YOU CAN STAY HERE
AS LONG AS IT TAKES.
BUT GO TALK TO HER.
-YEAH.
SHAUNI: HOBIE.
HOBIE!
WAIT!
HI.
I WANNA TALK TO YOU.
-YOU MEAN YOU WANT TO KILL ME.
-WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT?
-FOR WHAT I DID.
-I THINK WHAT YOU DID WAS SWEET.
-"SWEET"?
THAT RANKS RIGHT UP THERE
WITH "CUTE."
YOU MEAN SHOVE OFF.
-WAIT.
I'M GLAD YOU KISSED ME.
-YOU ARE?
-YEAH.
YOU KNOW, SOME PEOPLE
GO THROUGH THEIR WHOLE LIVES
NEVER HAVING ANYONE
EVER FALL IN LOVE WITH THEM.
BUT I HAVE TWO PEOPLE.
I THINK THAT'S PRETTY SPECIAL.
-YEAH, I GUESS IT IS.
BUT YOU CAN'T DATE BOTH OF US.
-I KNOW.
-AND YOU WERE DATING
EDDIE FIRST.
-TRUE.
-IT WOULD PROBABLY HURT HIM
IF YOU DUMPED HIM
FOR A 13- YEAR-OLD.
-YEAH.
-SO MAYBE WE COULD JUST BE
FRIENDS FOR A WHILE.
-THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
-FRIENDS?
-GOOD FRIENDS.
[MEXICAN MUSIC PLAYING]
-FIRST YOU WRECK THE FURNITURE,
NOW THE WIRING.
WHY DON'T JUST BURN THE PLACE
DOWN AND GET IT OVER WITH?
-WE'LL MAKE IT GOOD AS NEW AS
SOON AS WE FINISH WITH RIGLER.
[THUD]
-A SMALL SACRIFICE
TO GET RID OF THAT VULTURE.
-YEAH, IT'S A BIGGER SACRIFICE
THAN ANYONE ELSE AROUND HERE
HAS EVER MADE.
-DON'T JUDGE THEM TOO HARSHLY.
THEY'RE AFRAID
FOR THEIR FAMILIES.
LOOK, RIGLER IS A COYOTE.
HE HAS TAKEN MANY OF OUR PEOPLE
ACROSS THE BORDER.
AND IF WE DON'T DO
WHAT HE WANTS,
HE CAN TELL THE AMERICAN
AUTHORITIES WHERE THEY ARE.
-AS IF HE REALLY KNEW.
-AND YOU WOULD TAKE THE CHANCE?
OF COURSE YOU WOULD.
AND SO DID OUR SHERIFF.
HE TRIED TO STOP RIGLER.
THEY TIED HIM
TO THE BACK OF A TRUCK.
THEY DRAGGED HIM THROUGH
THESE STREETS UNTIL HE WAS DEAD.
SO YOU SEE, THEY HAVE PLENTY
OF REASONS TO BE AFRAID.
-WELL, SO DOES RIGLER.
HE JUST DOESN'T KNOW IT YET.
HEY, BOYS.
-READY?
-ALMOST.
CRAIG: LET'S DO IT.
[MEXICAN MUSIC PLAYING]
-HE'S GONE, HE'S GONE.
-OKAY.
-THIS BETTER BE GOOD.
-IT'S GONNA BE GREAT. TRUST ME.
NEVER.
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
-THEY'RE COMING, THEY'RE COMING.
-OKAY, LET'S GO.
OKAY, WE GOT THEM.
-TERRIFIC. HOW?
-ALL WE GOTTA DO IS
PUT THESE BABIES TOGETHER.
-I'LL DO THE HONORS.
-WAIT.
[CLATTER]
-YOU BLEW UP MY JEEP.
-NO, NO, NO.
YOU BLEW UP YOUR JEEP.
-GUYS, GUYS, COME ON, LET'S GO.
-I BLEW UP MY JEEP.
I BLEW UP MY JEEP!
-MIRAFLORES
IS GONNA PAY FOR THIS!
-EVERYBODY! COME ON NOW!
HEY, RIGLER'S COMING.
COME ON!
COME ON, WE GOTTA GET READY.
-RIGLER'S COMING!
GATHER ROUND.
WE NEED YOUR HELP.
-WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
-RIGLER AND HIS MEN ARE COMING.
THEY'LL DESTROY THE TOWN
IF WE DON'T STOP THEM.
-WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
-CORT BLEW UP THEIR JEEP.
-NO, NO, NO,
CRAIG BLEW UP THEIR JEEP.
-YEAH, CRAIG BLEW UP HIS JEEP.
-RIGLER AND HIS MEN,
THEY'RE COMING.
-IF I WERE YOU, I'D RUN.
-THAT'S RIGHT.
-IF I WERE YOU, I'D FIGHT.
IT'S NOT US
THEY'RE GOING TO BE AFTER.
-IT WAS YOU
WHO BLEW UP THEIR JEEP.
-THAT'S NOT THE WAY
THEY'RE GONNA SEE IT.
-THEN WE'LL TELL THEM ABOUT IT.
-NO, WE DID IT TO GET THEM HERE.
YOU CAN'T BEAT THEM ALONE,
AND WE CAN'T BEAT THEM ALONE.
BUT WE CAN DO IT TOGETHER.
-HAVE WE NO DIGNITY?
RIGLER HAS TAKEN AWAY
OUR SHERIFF.
HE'S TAKEN AWAY OUR PRIDE.
ARE WE JUST GOING TO STAND HERE
AND LET HIM BURN DOWN OUR TOWN?
-LOOKS LIKE IT.
-SO WE'LL BE BURNED.
-THIS IS WHERE WE GREW UP.
THINK ABOUT WHAT THAT
MEANS TO YOU.
THINK ABOUT WHAT THIS TOWN
WAS LIKE BEFORE THEY SHOWED UP.
THINK ABOUT WHO YOU ARE NOW.
AND THINK OF WHO YOU USED TO BE.
MAN: THERE THEY ARE.
[SUSPENSE MUSIC]
-TAKE YOUR LAST LONG LOOK
AT MIRAFLORES.
'CAUSE TOMORROW
IT'S GONNA BE ASHES.
-WALK AWAY
WHILE YOU STILL CAN.
-[LAUGHS]
[GLASS SHATTERS]
[HEROIC MUSIC]
[MOANS]
-NOW DON'T STOMACH THE EARTH.
MIRAFLORES BELONGS TO US.
[CHEERING]
-I GUESS THIS IS WHERE THE TOWN
SHOWERS US WITH APPRECIATION.
[BOOING]
-YOU CAN SEND THE AUTHORITIES
TO PICK UP THIS GARBAGE.
BUT IF I SEE YOUR FACE
HERE AGAIN,
I'LL SCRATCH IT OFF.
-HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT AFTER
EVERYTHING WE'VE DONE FOR YOU?
[MEXICAN MUSIC PLAYING]
-OH, MAN.
I NEED A VACATION.
[HEROIC MUSIC]
[ENDING THEME PLAYS]