Batwoman (2019–…): Season 3, Episode 1 - Mad as a Hatter - full transcript

Last season on
Batwoman:

New look.

New Batwoman.

What is this place?

It was where
Bruce kept the weapons

he confiscated from all
the villains he took down.

When I was a kid, I drew pictures of
how I imagined a Black Batman would look.

Turns out my dad was secretly turning
those pictures into reality.

Your mother didn't die in childbirth, Ry-Ry.

Mommy dearest is still very much alive.

So, what's next, Batwoman?



We find that case of
Batman trophies before anyone else does.

♪ Alone in the dark but
everything's crowded ♪

♪ Already lost and the race hasn't started ♪

♪ I'm starting to find some peace of mind
In knowing it doesn't matter what I do ♪

It didn't take long
for the Psychiatric Unit

at Gotham University Hospital
to make the recommendation to the courts.

Wonderland gang leader Alice, aka
the missing and presumed dead Beth Kane,

will not stand trial...

...but instead will continue her residency
at Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane.

♪ You can call me crazy ♪

♪ You can call me mad ♪

♪ You can call me baby ♪

♪ But it's the best thought I ever had ♪

♪ Oh ♪



♪ Oh oh, oh oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, oh... ♪

Curiouser and curiouser.

I will show them exactly
how wrong they are about you.

And I will have so much fun doing it.

Just as you would want, my dear,
sweet Alice.

♪ But it's the best thing I ever had ♪

Where were we? Oh, yeah, sidekick names.

Just FYI, no sidekick actually likes
being referred to as a sidekick.

Copy that, my number two dude.

Nope, not that either.

"All the more reason for me
to find a way to get you out of there.

I promise you,
I'm not giving up on you this time.

More to come.

♪ Cry if I want to ♪

♪ It's my party... ♪

Your father."

♪ It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to ♪

♪ Cry if I want to... ♪

Kane.

Visitor.

- So I have an idea for a name.
- Please, don't say Black Batman.

Seriously, Black Batman?

Coming from the girl who
inherited her codename.

Know what? I got one.

The Dork Knight.

Look for the damn poison ivy.

Sure they shipped it here?

Believe it or not, Poison ivy
doesn't get a lot of action on the dark web.

So I got creative, honed in on people who'd
benefit from a mystical, fast-growing vine.

Found these guys looking for a way
to expand their marijuana crop.

Shipment was supposed to come in today.

Of all the artifacts that fell
into the river,

a poison ivy sprig
doesn't exactly scream moneymaker.

Bingo.

Is it me,
or has this quadrupled since Circe took it?

Sunflower just got it wet.
Keep it away from the light.

♪ It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to... ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Cry ♪

♪ Cry ♪

♪ I'll cry if I want to ♪

♪ I'll cry if I want to ♪

Hey, you copy?

What the hell was that?

♪ You would cry too if it happened to you ♪

So, what, we're, um, sisters now?

Far from it.

I graduate med school tomorrow.

And Dad's one wish was for me
to check on you

and keep you from going off the deep end.

So this is me pretending to care

so I don't have to lie to him when
he calls me tomorrow to congratulate me.

That is so sweet.

But I'm good.

I can smell you
through this partition, so I beg to differ.

See, that's the thing.

None of this matters, because Daddy's
gonna find a way to get me out of here.

Really? From the top bunk
of his cell in Metropolis?

Even incarcerated, Daddy's one
of the most connected men in Gotham City.

What makes you believe that?

Oh, he didn't tell you?

Yeah, we've been, um, writing.

So I know you came
to make sure that I was miserable,

but I'm sorry to inform you, I'm not.

Fine.

Then this is me punching in,
and promptly punching out.

See you, Alice.

One quick question while I have you.

It's about your little pal Ryan.

Four down.
How many still out there?

A lot.

But in the meantime, we prevented
Gotham from a cortisone shortage.

Wanna tell me why you
froze up back there?

I didn't freeze up. The suit did.
It glitches out sometimes.

- I can't watch both of our asses.
- I know. I'll fix it.

Graduation tickets.

I go on at 7, which means your butt
needs to be in your seat at 6:30 sharp.

If there's a bomber threatening
to take out half the city,

remember,
I only become an official MD once

and people bomb Gotham every other day.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have
to go shower off my encounter with Alice.

Apparently she and my dad are pen pals.

That's uncomfortable.

I've barely heard from him
since he was put away,

but sure, reconnect with the chick
who killed your second wife.

I'll just be graduating tomorrow,

you know, valedictorian, top of my class,

but as long as
Alice knows you're thinking of her.

Hey, hey, hey.

I know your family can't be there,

but this family can, and we won't miss it.

Yeah.

Oh, that reminds me. Alice told
me to ask you about your birth mom.

Huh?

She was like, "Ryan will know what I mean."
And then she smiled like a total creep.

Your mom died in childbirth.

That's dark even for Alice.

So you don't know what she's referring to?

Since when does Alice ever make sense?

I can relate to Alice
on a deeply personal level,

which is why
I am at her last known hideout,

where society shoved
her back into the sewers.

At the tender age of 13, she was lost,
forgotten, held captive, tortured.

Who wouldn't break under all that?

Locking her away in Arkham
is just victimizing her all over again.

You know you drank too much
when you see leprechauns.

Free Alice?

That woman is a full-blown lunatic.

Alice is a survivor.

Pay her some respect.

Alice is just another victim
of a flawed bureaucratic system.

She deserves her day in court.

Dude, why did you just say that?

No idea why I just said that.

What the hell was that?

- What's happening with your hat?
- Let go of me.

Curiouser and curiouser.

- What the hell is going on?
- Uh, let's get out of here, dude.

Stand still.

Why can't I move?

Kill him.

I'm not killing my friend, freak.

What are you doing?

- No, what are you doing?
- What are you doing?

Oh, my God.
What the hell was that?

What did you make me do?

You psycho.

You're a freaking psycho!

Mad as a hatter.

Yo, hey,
I got something for you.

I'm sleeping.
Go away.

You're gonna wanna see this.

Isn't that the Batman guy? The Mad Hatter?
I remember him from when I was a kid.

Move.

I swear,
I would never kill anyone.

It was like one second,
I'm laughing at some loser in dress-up,

and the next thing I know,
I'm slicing open my buddy's throat.

It was completely out of my control.

What makes you think
it was the Mad Hatter?

Oh, Montoya.

Last I checked, you traded that big shiny
pin for a basement desk in the city hall.

What's it again? Freak Squad?

The Rogues Unit.

Was he short, old, what?

Uh, younger.

Lanky.

Dork-like.

He's a Mad Hatter imposter,
which means he found the hat.

- No, no, what are you doing?
- No, no.

Oh, my God.

What the hell did you do?

I don't know what's more disturbing,
that, that he posted it,

or that Alice actually has a fan boy.

Sorry, how does a top hat make
someone kill their drinking buddy?

Right.

Meet Jervis Tetch,
aka the original Mad Hatter.

According to my dad,

Jervis Tetch was a tiny, insecure
and annoying neuroscientist.

He felt like the world
wasn't listening to him,

so he developed mind-control technology
to force them to listen.

He built it directly into his hat.

This says Bruce had the hat deprogrammed
before he put it in the trophy case.

The technology latches to the brain activity
of the first person who puts it on.

But if the hat is technology,
can't we hack it or whatever?

It's not uploaded to the cloud.

We first need to get the hat off his head.

How,
without falling victim to it in the process?

A hundred and twenty-eight
hertz of frequency.

Your dad figured out

how to disrupt the hat's radio waves.

We know the how and what.
We just need to know the where.

So if I were
an Alice-obsessed Mad Hatter wannabe,

where would I go?

I was wondering
when you'd come crawling back.

You stormed out in such a huff last time,
I was worried it was something I said.

Tell me what you're planning
with your Mad Hatter superfan.

I told you.

I don't know him.

Well, he certainly knows a lot about you.

Have you watched the news?

My identity's been outed,
and some people actually appreciate

that I'm just a girl,
standing in front of a psychiatric ward,

asking them not to fry her brain.

Uh-huh.

Oh, come on.

We both know
I'm utterly helpless behind these walls.

You came because
you want all the dirty deets on Mommy D.

I saw my birth mother's death certificate.

Nia A. Wilder.

Died the day I was born.

If you say so, dear.

What is this? Hmm?

Are you lonely?

You need to keep somebody on a leash

to stop you from slipping
into total isolation?

Am I lonely?

Look at your life.

Your closest emotional connection
is an ex in witness protection.

You have no one.

I gave you someone
to fill the hole in your little empty heart.

I have my friends.

Luke and Mary?

Right, who you're so close to,

you couldn't even tell your
birth mother lied to you all these years.

We're done here.

Sounds like
your Mad Hatter's planning a tea party.

Do you know what he's planning, Alice?

Mm...

I just know what I would do.

Which is?

It'd be so refreshing

if a supervillain
actually said what they meant for once.

What tea party?

Not to kill the mood, but the last tea party
Alice had, she poisoned your mom.

So, what, he's making it personal?

More public?

You know what? I should ask my dad.

Maybe he's chatted about it
with Alice in their correspondence.

Okay.

You, my dear,
are graduating top of your class,

looking fine as hell, might I add.

And we are standing here
talking about Alice.

Can we not let her ruin

the best thing we have going on now?

Fine. Subject change.

Who's this Deja girl
you ditched me for last night, hmm?

I thought her name was Riley.

Oh, no.
Riley was last week.

Um, excuse me. I'm allowed to date
multiple women at once.

I take it you
and Kate are not happening?

No, they're good.
They're friends.

But it's too complicated
for anything more right now.

Thank you, Mary.

Yes to all of that.

Ryan Wilder, I think this is the most interest
you've ever shown my love life.

At least somebody's getting some.

You know,
the more I think about this tea party thing,

if there's one person
who can predict a lunatic's next move,

it's another certifiable lunatic.

That's what I can't shake.
She has no reason to make this up.

She has every reason,
because this is all a game to her.

She's trying to feel relevant,
because she doesn't matter anymore.

Now seriously, drop it,
before y'all both kill my buzz.

Y'all know this
wasn't a cheap bottle of champagne.

I'm gonna go check on her.

I should go practice my speech.

Wanna tell me what happened at Arkham?

Nothing.

Because Alice was unhelpful and petulant

and everything one would expect
Alice to be.

If she was everything you expected,
how'd she get under your skin?

Ryan, what happened?

She said my biological mother,

who died giving birth to me,

was actually still alive,

and she covered it all up
with a fake name so I'd never find her.

Damn.

As much as I don't believe a word
Alice says...

A part of you can't help but wonder,
"Is my mom still alive?"

I take it Mary and Luke don't know.

I don't know if I wanna know.

I was told my whole life
that my dad was out of the picture

and my mom died in the hospital.

What if I have a family out there?

Want me to look into it?

On the DL?

Thank you.

Testing.

One, two, three.

You're not supposed to be up here.

I got a guy matching
the top hat loony from the news.

I'm just testing the microphone,

making sure that my voice projects
all the way to the back.

Perfect.
You're all here.

Gather around, friends.

It's a lovely afternoon...

...for tea.

Gotham City Vital Records.

Hi, I was hoping
you could e-mail me a birth certificate.

Mail only. Four to six weeks.

Okay, thanks anyway.

I'll just hack into your system
and find it myself.

Let's see.
Who was the attending physician?

Dr. Quadracci.

Shady doctor, here we go.

Mayor Hartley?

See this sandwich, Montoya?
I haven't eaten since 9:30.

The Mad Hatter's a copycat.

He's somehow gotten the original hat,
which doesn't make sense.

Batman took it off the streets
and locked it down 20 years ago.

Am I special,
or did you torture Mayor Atkins too?

He hired me to run the Rogues Unit.

I convinced him it's only a matter of time

before Batman's enemies come
looking for their toys, and here we are.

- It's not just the Mad Hatter's hat.
- Of course.

A cutting of poison ivy was bouncing
around the dark web for the past three days.

If someone's leaking these onto the streets,
I need to see what else is out there.

Look,
I am 30 days into this whole mayor gig,

and I am not putting the words
"rogues" or "toys" onto my budget.

What about the words "mass casualty"

and "preventable"
on your resignation letter?

Mayor, I love this city in my bones.

I need you to hear me before this becomes
Jim Gordon's Gotham all over again.

It's a two-drink limit, so sip slowly.

Okay, what?

Alice was right.

Nia A. Wilder doesn't exist.

I saw her death certificate.

The doctor who signed her death certificate
also signed your birth certificate.

Two months later he lost his license for an
unrelated wire fraud, so I honed in on him.

He had 25 patients
in the days surrounding your birth.

I looked into all of them.

One came into the hospital
a day before you were born.

According to her medical file,
she was suffering from a cyst on her ovary.

So I followed the money.

She paid him $2 million
after her so-called emergency surgery.

Two million dollars
to cover up her pregnancy with me.

Why?

I have no idea.

But your mom's still alive, Ryan.

And my dad?

Nothing.

Just her.

Here.

If you want to know her name.

And if you don't, I get that too.

Two-drink limit?

What are we talking about?

Let's find our seats.

Okay, everyone smile.
Say cheese.

Ready for your big speech?

Dr. Hall.

Sorry, I was just having a moment.

I'm sure your family would be proud.

They better be.

You're one of the best students
that's ever come through this school.

Thank you, Dr. Hall.

Dr. Hamilton.
You are the spitting image of your mother.

"Do no harm."

Today we take the Hippocratic oath.

But shouldn't it be called the
Hypocrite oath?

I mean...

doctors are supposed to uphold the
highest ethical medical standards, right?

Instead it's,
"How many patients can I see in a day?"

And, "Sorry, we don't take that insurance."

And,

"That bandage costs $300."

What happened
to the Gotham medical community?

- Did she change her speech?
- This is not her speech.

Don't even get me started
on mental healthcare.

Do you know the process
of institutionalizing someone?

It took our alma mater, Gotham U,
under the oversight of our chair, Dr. Hall...

a measly 10 minutes to decide
that Alice would be an Arkham lifer.

So, what, we just give up on her?

This is not Mary talking.

He got to her.
He's here.

What about the fact
that she was victimized for over a decade?

That her own family gave up on her?

That she was replaced...

by me?

This is what Alice meant.

This is his tea party.

Put on your earbuds.

I'll text you a disrupter frequency
to block his mind-control.

Everybody, shut up and take your seats,
until I instruct you otherwise.

The show is about to begin.
Now...

If you are going to wield
the power of a god,

prove you're worthy.

Remove this man's organs one
at a time,

until he dies.

You need help.

You sound like all my doctors.

We need to take him out.

No, we can't do that.

He's brain-jacked everyone here.
We need him to reverse it.

How? Ask nicely?

- There is one person he'll listen to.
- No.

Ryan, Mary's about
to de-organ the chair of her university.

- Absolutely not.
- Okay, what am I missing?

We can get Liam to undo the mind-control,

but we have to break
Alice out of Arkham first.

It may have taken him
15 years and several dead wives,

but Daddy finally understands
that I'm still his little girl.

And he is going to use
every last resource that he has left

to get me out of this hellhole
and as far away from Gotham as possible.

Alice, we've been over this.

Your father is incarcerated himself.

No one is coming to rescue you.

Okay, everyone, stay calm.

Daddy?

What? No.

- Alice, we're going. Let's go.
- Get off of me.

I need you to come with me.

Help, help!

Help! Help me!

I see she's found the appendix.

Starting with the unnecessary organs first,

prolonging the inevitable.

Appendix is out.
Luke, where are you?

Headed to the roof as we speak.

I can't stop Liam's previous commands.
Only he can.

But this should protect everyone
from his future commands.

Get ready to rock.

What are you doing?

Put your phones away.

Stop.

Stop!

Alice, I need you.

Mary needs you.

Open the door.

My dad's gonna take
me away from Gotham.

From all of you.

Leave me alone.

- Your dad's not coming, Alice.
- He is.

He told me.
He promised.

In his postcards.
He promised.

What, these?

Yeah.

This is an ad from a magazine,
Alice.

It's for soap.

This is a page
from the Arkham directory.

A napkin from the cafeteria.

This is a coloring book page.

What?

Your dad is not writing to you.

He sent me these.

I read them with my own eyes.

Your mind's playing tricks on you.

Look, I get it.

You lost Ocean, your dad, Kate.

Now you're back here.
It's too much.

He's coming.
Because he promised me, he's coming.

It's garbage, Alice!

Help us.

If you help us,

you can run.

And I won't stop you.

I'm sure that was a lot.
You wanna talk about it?

There's no point.

Did you say something?

Alice?

Alice?

Did you say something?

I can't exactly meet
my future boyfriend in this, can I?

Mary, I'm here.
What do we do?

How do we save him?

We can't.

I took his appendix, his gall bladder,

a kidney, his spleen.

I'm down to vitals.

I have to keep removing his
organs until he dies.

Then kill him.

What?

Kill him.

He's got no chance
if you remove anything else.

We shock his heart,
he goes into cardiac arrest and dies,

just like the Mad Hatter guy wanted.

It'll break his mind control.

And then what?

We pray like hell you can bring
Dr. Hall back to life.

Graduates wearing
those pretentious stethoscopes,

make them useful.

Tie them around your throats.

What happened?

The damn suit fritzed out again.

Okay, no pulse.
He's dead.

How do you feel?

Like I have my brain back.

It worked.
It broke his control.

Good.
Hopefully this does too.

Okay.

Charge.

Clear.

Charge.

Clear.

Such wasted potential.

The old
"strangle yourself to death" gag.

- It's classic.
- You're supposed to be in Arkham.

I had to meet my number one fan.

What did I miss?

Do you remember
when you forced Catherine Hamilton

to reveal what a garbage human she is,
in front of all her peers?

Mm-hm.

- I just did the same thing to her daughter.
- Clever boy.

It's true.
Doctors are all the same.

They think they're gods amongst men.

Why should I be institutionalized?

Because you think I'm crazy, because
I see the world differently than you?

Sorry for being my own person.

I heard you filmed yourself
throwing a kitten off a rooftop.

- You heard about that?
- Mm, yeah.

Did you see it?

Five thousand and seventy views.

Tell all these people to stop.

Alice, they have too much power.

All they have to do is sign a paper,
and surprise, you're bankrupt.

Surprise, you're addicted to medication.
Surprise, you're labeled crazy.

Forever. And ever.

I'm not crazy, Alice.

If any of these people die,

they will have a reason
to lock you away forever.

Do you think I'm crazy?

The truth.

No.

I don't think you're crazy.

If it wasn't for you,
guys like me wouldn't have heroes.

Stop killing yourselves.
Get out of here.

There.
Did that earn me a hug?

Yeah.

Frequency jammers.

You're as crazy as they come, dear.

Word of advice:

Don't ever meet your heroes.

You really are the monster they say you are.

That's me.

What the hell are you?

I didn't kill him.
He's fine.

You didn't think
I'd actually let you go.

You two-faced bitch.

I saved all those people.

For you.

No, for you.

Because in that warped mind,

you thought today would undo
the hundreds of horrific things you've done.

Please.

This is about payback.

Because you can't handle the truth.

Don't hate me because your family
might be more screwed up than mine.

Get her out of here.

In conclusion,

my fellow graduates,

I challenge each and every one of you

to wake up every morning and ask yourself,

"How can I end this day
better than how it started?"

With one more saved life,

one more cancer-free scan,

one more smile.

Because if we can do that every day,

together we can leave this
world a better place than how we found it.

A happy ending to the
worst commencement ceremony in history.

Thanks.

Look, today was awful.

And Liam is obviously sick.

But he did make some good points
about the medical community.

Like for one,

maybe we should stop referring
to troubled people as crazy lunatics.

Even Alice?

Yeah, even Alice.

Then I get to say something.

Toast time.

Mary, you have probably saved
more people than anyone in this city.

You are the person that I go to for advice.

For a shoulder to cry on.

For, let's face it, pain meds.

You didn't need an MD for the people who
love you to know that you are a true hero.

It's dope
we get to call you Dr. Hamilton.

Hey.

Congrats, roomie.
We are so proud of you.

We love you, Mary.

Cheers.

♪ Oh, oh, oh, ooh, oh... ♪

Okay, not to bail early, but I need to
figure out why my suit is crashing,

or Ryan will never let me
be her wingman again.

Wait a minute.

Wingman.

Bat, wing.

Batwing.

Ooh, that's good.

I'll take that into consideration.
Good night.

Actually,
can I show you something downstairs?

Yeah, sure.

Okay, cool.

I'll just be, um...

Keep the champagne cold.

Mary, Luke, the Bat.

That's my family.

I finally have everything I want.

Why risk losing it just to get to know
a woman who had no desire knowing me?

My opinion?

Because she's still your mom.

My whole life, I wanted a family.

I wanted answers.

I wanted to belong to someone,
and for someone to belong to me.

But that look on Liam's face today,

when Alice wasn't
who he needed her to be?

It's not worth it.

I'm good.

Then consider it out of your life.

♪ All my colors coming out ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ In and out, in and out
In and out of my life ♪

♪ From hope in the dark in the sky ♪

♪ In and out, in and out
In and out of my life... ♪

Dubai loved it.

Have the lawyers write up a contract,

and get them
a prototype they can play with.

- Ma'am?
- Oh.

Tell me you're not bringing me drama
before I've had my wine.

Just got word of a security breach.

Have the Cyber Team do their thing.
Why are you bothering me?

You don't want the
Cyber Team looking into it.

Somebody's been fishing for very
specific data. Not on the company.

On you, ma'am.

♪ All my colors comin' out
All my colors comin' out ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, you're gonna see me now... ♪

Lucas Fox.

- ♪ Ooh ♪
- ♪ Ooh, you're gonna see me now... ♪

If you're hearing this message,
it means you found the suit.

Dad?

How am I hearing your voice right now?

Because I'm your dad,
and I always know when you need me.

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

Never seen you before.

You a cop?

Fortunately for you, no.

How do you have this list?

Over a dozen weapons of mass destruction
are in the Gotham River somewhere.

And your main concern is how I know?

I'm cleaning it up.

That warms the parents of the kid whose
buddy slit open his throat the other night.

- Where'd you get this list?
- From me.

In exchange for my freedom.

I don't know who you are,

but teaming up with Gotham's most
prolific criminal will blow up in your face.

Worked for you.
You and Alice stopped a madman.

He's just the beginning.

- Why did you call me here?
- You're strong and you have access.

She's got the mind of a psychopath.

Together, you two will find and stop
every freak who gets these weapons

until each of the items
are found and accounted for.

Hard pass.

It's just as easy for me

to shut down your
illegal vigilante operation...

Ryan Wilder.

Wow.

All that time my boyfriend, father,
sister spent,

trying to break through to my good side.
Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Silly them.

It's so much more fun on my bad side.

So do we have a deal or what?

Oh, yes, I for one am in.

Batwoman?

Answer the question.

You in?

Or you hanging up the cape?

Sounds like I don't have a choice.