Batwoman (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 18 - If You Believe in Me, I'll Believe in You - full transcript
A new member joins Batwoman's team, and Batwoman sets out to recover Lucius' journal.
All there.
Used unmarked bills as promised.
Congratulations.
You're now the new proud of owner
of 7 hearts, 14 kidneys,
7 livers, 14 lungs,
and 14 corneas.
[SCREAMING]
Some disassembly required.
Oof! Aah!
Huh! Agh!
Over there! She went that way!
Ugh!
Aah!
Agh!
I'm just saying. Like, a braid
or something could help.
I am not wearing a braid.
Congratulations! On behalf
of the medical profession
both licensed and unlicensed,
I'd like to offer my sincerest whatup
on shutting down that chop shop.
I wasn't sure how you guys celebrated.
Usually by icing my knuckles.
MARY: For you.
So this is what a
victory lap looks like.
Trafficker got away,
some asshat yanked my wig,
almost pulled off my cowl.
Who could have predicted
that 30,000 strands
of grab-me red hair would be like
waving a flag in front of a bull?
What if you ran an electrical
charge through the cowl
so that the next person
who tried to get grabby
would have 10,000 volts of hands off?
As much as I love the thought
of wrapping my head in lightning...
Right. Dumb.
Uh, I've had a few of these.
Withdrawn.
We will celebrate as soon as we get
this organ-stealing creep behind bars.
Okay. Well... Go Batteam,
which I'm not on...
So I'm just taking the champagne.
Backing away. Heh.
The cowl shock thing not the worst idea.
She wants to be part of this,
and the answer is no.
She doesn't want to be part of this
as much as she wants
to be part of your life.
Then I will take her out for dinner.
We need to focus on your dad's journal.
If that thing really is the cookbook
of Wayne Enterprises' best-kept secrets,
we need to find where
Tommy Elliot hid it.
So where do we start?
Whichever aisle's the property
seized from Tommy Elliot.
Ha ha ha! Of course Tommy collected,
like, every Kitty Delgado comic.
Ha ha! Oh, my God.
There's no way a cat burglar's squeezing
into those tight spaces
with those jubblies.
Hmm. Ha ha!
So if I were the smoking gun
that links Tommy Elliot to
the murder of Lucius Fox,
where would I be?
Oh, I don't know, luv,
but I hope The Crows pay overtime.
I'll settle for hazard pay.
[RINGS]
Tell me you found that journal.
We've gone through the entire place,
which is basically a shrine
to his twig and berries,
but alas, no Lucius Fox journal.
The guy owned at least 40
buildings in Gotham alone.
Who knows where he
could have stashed it?
Well, there is one person who knows.
Ha ha!
Ah. Kandy Kane.
Well, your... your real estate business
must really be tanking
if you were willing to
let them frisk you for,
what, a few how-tos.
Believe it or not, Tommy boy,
I'm not here for a measuring contest.
Oh. That's too bad.
Speaking of being the bigger man,
have you heard from Bruce?
Visiting hours are 4 days a week.
He's a total no-show.
Is that any way to
treat your best friend?
It is if he killed his actual
best friend... Lucius Fox.
That's an outrageous lie.
Lucius was never Bruce's best friend.
Of course that would be your takeaway.
What did Lucius Fox ever do for Bruce?
You mean, besides turning Wayne R&D
into the world leader
in defense technology?
Oh, but you already knew that.
That's why you had him
killed... for his journal.
You wanted the keys to the candy store.
Where's the journal now, Tommy?
[CRYING]
I miss... I miss my mommy!
Can I talk to her?
That's okay, Tommy.
The guy you hired to pull the
trigger, he's had a lot to say.
Thanks for stopping by, double-K,
and tell your cousin
the bells are on!
[TOMMY HUMMING]
BUTLER: It's fine. Thank you.
Get out of my cell.
But yours is so much roomier than mine,
and there's going to be a vacancy
when they strap you
to the electric chair
for murdering Lucius Fox.
Zzzt! Zzzt!
Oh, but, Alice, haven't you heard?
I'm crazy! 100% unfit to stand trial.
BUTLER: Mmm. Not anymore, I'm afraid.
I got a call this morning from a judge
asking my opinion in regards
to your fitness to stand trial.
As Arkham's Chief Medical Officer,
I could hardly lie,
so The Crows will be
here soon to collect you.
But we can help you.
Why... would you help me?
Because you're gonna help us.
I couldn't help but listen in
to your little visit with Kate Kane
because when my sister wants something,
I want it more.
What's so special about the dearly
departed Lucius Fox's journal
just between us bad guys?
I'm sorry.
Are you two working together?
What's going on here?
You can answer the question voluntarily,
or we will extract it.
Heh.
Supposedly, it's a failsafe
to kill the Bat if the suit ever
got into the wrong hands.
Why's Bruce Wayne's R&D
guy telling dear diary
about that?
Because Bruce Wayne's Batman.
Curiouser and curiouser.
And now I want to know all the more
where is the book?
Hmm.
I'm just debating
should I hand it over to...
Gotham's most prolific killer
for nothing in return?
Give us the journal,
and we will let you walk out of here.
Really? Just out into the street
where every wanted
poster will have my...
Face on it?
Not if we get you a new one.
Oh. Tch.
This is what it's like
bartering with a psychopath.
Ahem.
[GRUNTS]
We can make you into
anyone you want to be...
real, imagined...
Whoever your little heart desires.
So do we have a deal?
You called it. Whatever you said
must have rattled Tommy's cage.
22 minutes since you left Arkham,
and there's already
an outgoing call to...
Address says the lookout.
Isn't that Johnny Sabatino's club?
Technically, but Tommy
owns the building.
Hmm. Rumor has it, that
Sabatino's been laundering
Tommy's money through
that club for years.
That is one posh laundromat.
SABATINO: Tommy, how's
the padded palace, buddy?
TOMMY: I'm hoping to
make it a distant memory.
Listen. Remember that
item I had you hold onto?
Ha ha! What? The one that you had me
break into your office
at 4:00 in the morning
to get the night you were arrested?
No idea what you're talking about.
Oh, yeah. It's still here.
Living rent-free.
Well, it's time for it to come home.
Understood. I'll be in touch
to work out the details.
Well, at least we know
where the journal is.
Yeah, at a very high floor
of a mob-infested nightclub.
How would you like to infiltrate that?
By walking through the front door.
Uh-oh. Wait. Can you feel that?
Nope. Feeling nothing.
What is happening?
Mmm. I think you feel it.
I think you feel it. Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
- Come on. Say it.
We're... going clubbing.
We're going clubbing.
- Sss!
- Yech.
Okay. So these are all the finalists
because they deliver on the sss
and Batgadget concealment
because we want to hide the goods
but not hide the goods, you feel me?
Okay. The goal is to blend in.
Yeah, but at this place,
standing out is blending in.
I mean, The Lookout is the
hottest club in Gotham...
no offense to your bar.
It's... you know, it's more of a lounge.
- Mm-hmm.
- And fortunately,
your Batboots are both
functional and on trend.
What's in that one?
Oh. That is...
♪ Mine ♪
Ha! Check it!
How insane is this?
Oh, but if you want to
wear it instead, you can.
- You're not going, Mary.
- What?
I'm sorry. It's too dangerous.
Dangerous? I have
been poisoned, stabbed,
and nearly exsanguinated, and the fact
that I have lived to
use that word as a verb
is proof that I can look out for myself.
That place will be filled with mobsters.
Which is why you need backup.
Ahem. I already have it.
MARY: I thought there weren't
any more spots on the Batteam.
Oh. I'm just an honorary member, luv.
The Crows plucked her from the SRR.
She's literally trained for this.
Seriously, it's nothing personal,
and thank you so much for all of this.
[SIGHS]
KALI J: ♪ Look at me ♪
Sounds like Soph's on her
way to arrest Tommy Elliot.
- Huh. Good for Soph.
- Yeah.
Robles's confession. They're charging
Tommy with Lucius Fox's murder.
Luke will be glad to hear that.
Is all official Crows business conducted
using hamburger emojis?
It's a cheeseburger.
Nah. She wanted to see if
I was up for celebrating.
You never mentioned she
was a burger connoisseur.
Well, just don't bother
trying to convince her
that kimchi is the best topping.
Oh, I've already taken that hill.
It's her new favorite.
KALI J: ♪ Uh-huh, so cool,
it's the talk of the town ♪
♪ And wow, uh-huh ♪
♪ Listen now 'cause
I'll break it down now ♪
♪ It's time to get to
places I want to go ♪
When?
What do you mean?
When did you find time
to take on that hill?
Don't you two have,
like, work or something?
All we do is work, luv.
Between the late hours and
all this stress with her mum,
let's just say greasy food's
her best mate right now.
Her mom?
Yeah. She came out to her mum.
Seriously?
Gravely serious, I'm afraid.
Her mum's not talking to her.
Soph's a right mess.
LUKE: Good evening, party crashers.
Tuxedo One, you have a
date with the utility hub
one level down.
Red One, there's an employee
bathroom on the north end.
Could be a good place
for a wardrobe change.
- Copy that.
- 10-4.
FIRE CHOIR: ♪ That classic
way that you move ♪
♪ Okay, okay, now you got my attention ♪
♪ Can't take my eyes off of you ♪
REAGAN: Kate?
Reagan?
- Hi.
- What are you doing here?
Don't you have a club of your own now?
I'm checking out the competition.
Promise not to tell your boss?
Only if you let me make
you a drink on the house
and you promise not to tell my boss.
- Deal.
- I actually stopped by
The Holdup a couple of times.
I was hoping,
I don't know, maybe
I would run into you.
I don't really oversee the day-to-day.
Too busy? Yeah. I remember.
At the risk of sounding
even more stalkery,
I've been following your
real estate endeavors.
Buying up property around Bennett Park
and actually lowering the rents?
Heh.
This city could use
a lot more Kate Kane.
FIRE CHOIR: ♪ I really like
long walks on the beach ♪
♪ I really like playing hide-and-seek ♪
♪ I really like to dance to the beat ♪
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
FIRE CHOIR: ♪ Heart, eyes,
overload, it's irresistible ♪
This is really good.
It's called an...
I sort of thought you'd
fight harder to win me back,
and I've regretted
walking away ever since.
That is very specific.
Any chance you know how to make
- a Kate Kane is a total idiot?
- Mm-hmm.
LUKE, ON COMMS: Can
you ask her to make you
a what the hell are you doing?
You have a mission to complete.
Is your ear okay?
It's fine. Can you hear
that annoying whining sound?
LUKE: Hilarious.
No, I don't.
- I'm gonna get an advil.
- Okay.
LUKE: Smooth.
I'm not talking to you.
LUKE: Tuxedo One, you
still talking to me?
I'm here. Found the controls.
[ELECTRICITY HUMMING]
FIRE CHOIR: ♪ La la la la la la ♪
♪ La la la la la la ♪
♪ La la la la la la ♪
♪ I really like to dance to the beat ♪
[BEEPING]
Intense. Johnny really likes
keeping tabs on his clientele...
But his office is completely empty.
I'm thinking it's time for lights out.
[HUMMING STOPS]
[MUSIC STOPS]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
MAN: Hey!
[GRUNTING]
Bloody hell. I'm made.
We got a problem. Julia's been grabbed.
I think this is a trap!
The building schematic
shows a wall safe.
I'm betting it's in there.
Or it's just sitting on his desk.
LUKE: Awfully important book
to just leave lying around.
[ALARM BLARING]
Unh!
Kate? Kate, come in! Kate!
[HANDCUFFS CLINKING]
BUTLER: Mr. Elliot's cell is 243.
[CELL LOCK DISENGAGES]
[CELL DOOR CREAKS, OPENS]
Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses
and all the king's men
couldn't put humpty together again,
but he was an egg and
never should have been
sitting on that wall in the first place,
and honestly, what were a
bunch of horses gonna do?
W-W-When do I get my face?
As soon as I get that journal,
and it's not just a face, Tommy.
It's a whole new you.
[SPUTTERING]
SABATINO: Oh. What's the
deal with the other one?
Mary Poppins says she works for SRR.
Huh. A little out of her zip code.
Talk to our guys across the pond,
see if she's worth anything.
Take her in the back,
and let's, uh, put the
word out to the families
we're auctioning off Batwoman
to the highest bidder.
Winner gets to cure
Gotham of its Bat problem.
You got it, boss.
What do you mean they caught her?
What happened to your member
of the special reconnaissance
turns out I'm not good
backup at all regiment?
I didn't call you down here
for a yelp review, Mary.
I need you on the comms
monitoring the cameras for me.
- What?
- I'm going in and save Kate and Julia.
Going in as what, Sabatino's accountant?
Look. No offense. This is not
gonna get you past the bouncer.
- It has to be me.
- Okay. No offense, but you're insane.
I know Sabatino's cousin.
I pumped her stomach when she O.D.ed.
She owes me one.
She can get me facetime with her cousin.
And then what? Ask him nicely,
offer to tag his club on your insta?
- You sound like Kate.
- Because she's right, Mary.
It's too dangerous! Case in point,
she was just apprehended.
Well, then what's the
Batprotocol here, Luke?
I don't know!
I don't know.
All I do know is that I really
wish my dad were here right now
because he would know what to do,
but he's not
because he died protecting that journal,
and now Kate and Julia
might do the same,
and I cannot add you to that list.
Look. I know no one
trusts me to pull this off,
but I trust you to keep me safe.
- Okay. Uh...
- Okay.
Fine. Then you're gonna
need some Bataccessories.
- Okay.
- Don't worry.
They go with everything.
[BATARANG CLINKS]
[CELL PHONE VIBRATING]
[BEEP]
Tomcat, hey, man.
Thanks for giving me the need to know
on our uninvited guest, but I got to ask
how'd you know Batwoman would
be coming for the journal?
Well, I have friends in low places.
Yeah, that I knew.
The Bat's been a Thorn
in my bottom line for too long.
Can't wait to clip her wings.
Oh. Well, you enjoy that, buddy.
- Where's the journal?
- Yeah. See, here's the thing.
If that book was so important
that the Batbaby wanted it,
I'm thinking that you
undersold me on its value,
so I'm gonna hang onto it.
Johnny, Johnny, Johnny,
don't be a dick.
Tommy, your accounts are
frozen, you're on ice.
Can you blame me for giving
you the cold shoulder?
Take care of yourself, buddy.
That son of a bitch was
like a brother to me!
Clearly, you are an only child.
Otherwise, you would know
that our dear siblings
are the ones most
predisposed to betray us.
Why aren't you more upset,
considering you won't
be getting the journal
you so desperately want?
You should be more
careful who you trust.
If you can't trust your money launderer,
who can you trust?
Hmm. No one.
I only trust in the fact that
people can't be trusted.
So you knew that Johnny
was gonna betray me?
No. I just didn't trust him not to.
Well, congratulations, Alice.
You were right,
but you still don't have the book.
Hmm.
I have a contingency.
You see, I released a rare bird
from her cage here at Arkham,
Gotham's most notorious
feather-clad Klepto.
The chick who thinks she's a myna bird?
She prefers to be called Magpie.
TONES AND I: ♪ Dance for me,
dance for me, dance for me ♪
♪ Uh-huh, oh ♪
Vodka... Venti.
Woman after my own heart.
Sure that's the best idea?
TONES AND I: ♪ Move for me,
move for me, move for me ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, and
when you're done... ♪
Aria!
Hi.
♪ I said, oh, my God ♪
I'm... not placing you.
Oh. Picture me upside down,
holding a bedpan of your puke.
Oh, my God! Mary, hi!
LUKE, ON COMMS: Okay. I'm impressed.
What are you doing here?
Um, I was actually
looking for your cousin.
- Oh. Cousin Johnny?
- Mmm.
He's just in a superintense
meeting right now.
Oh, I know. With a bunch of his...
LUKE: Do not say, "crime families".
- Mafia bros.
- Mafia?
LUKE: Yeah, you're dead.
Or his frat bros or something.
I don't know, but he texted me 911
with a bunch of typos.
Issues with embarrassing
nosebleeds from the... [SNIFFS]
Oh! Say no more.
Let me see what I can do.
TONES AND I: ♪ The
things you do before ♪
Really starting to regret
this dress right now.
LUKE: You're doing awesome.
Sold to Vasily Kosov.
You are the proud owner of Batwoman's
very own grappling gun.
All right. Now on to the
final item of the night
and, let's face it, the
reason you're all here.
I give you the Scarlet Knight herself.
We're gonna start the
bidding at $2 million.
2 million. Do I have 2.5?
How about 3 million?
Come on. Do I have 4?
$10 million.
Unh!
So who you supposed to be,
the Bat's sidekick?
Ohh.
I'm gonna tell you what
I told you 9 punches ago.
I'm not with Batwoman.
I'm with the Special
Reconnaissance Regiment.
WOMAN: That's interesting...
Because I just got off the phone
with our contact at the SRR.
He says you haven't
been under their employ
for the past 6 months,
something about going
rogue and betraying
the organization's trust.
Now... let's start fresh...
Shall we?
Who are you really working for?
This is a surprise.
Usually when they say I have a visitor,
it's followed by the words
"just kidding"
and a lot of laughter at my expense.
You're the one who put
yourself in here, Alice, not me.
Technically if we're splitting hairs,
Kate shoved me into the cell,
and you helped lock the door,
but... whatever lets you sleep at night.
Tommy Elliot just hanged himself,
or that's what it was
meant to look like.
Do you know anything about that?
[SIGHS]
What do I know?
I know I don't give two
hoots about Tommy Elliot!
I know I don't have any
motivation to help you,
and I know it is impossible
for one to heal from the trauma
of being locked in a cage
when one is still locked in a cage!
How many times did you tell me
that Beth was never coming back?
This is me admitting
that you were right.
Do you know what they
do to patients in here?
They put electrodes on our heads
and blast us with so much
electricity that we seize.
And I don't know the exact science,
but... after about 10 jolts,
let me tell you,
you start convincing everyone
around you that it worked.
I'm sorry that it ended up this way.
If you mean that, then
get me out of here.
I can't. I have to protect
the daughters that I have left.
The thing they don't
tell you about ECT is
that once it's over
all that's left is clarity.
Ha! I see everything now,
how this came to be,
how it will end,
and I promise you, Daddy,
what I have in store for you
is so much worse than a cage
or electrodes or insanity.
I guess you could say it's...
Worse than being me...
But you'll see.
SABATINO: Who are you?
The heir to Hamilton Dynamics,
and I got money to spend.
Look. I don't care about
any personal vendetta
against Batwoman.
Whether she blew up a shipment of "H"
or bataranged your dog,
I don't give a feel.
Hamilton Dynamics wants
the technology in that suit,
and we're willing to
pay handsomely for it.
Okay. Well, I don't know how you
heard about our little bake sale,
but I do know what
$10 million looks like,
and it won't fit in that briefcase.
It's 2.5. The balance will be wired
to whatever account you...
This is an all-cash
business, Ms. Hamilton,
but you want the suit, it's yours
as soon as we peel it
off of her dead body.
So I got good news and bad news.
Nope. It's all bad,
and it somehow just got worse.
Shiny, shiny.
2.5 million for the suit
off of her dead body,
and with the highest bid for
the privilege of killing her,
sold to the gentleman
with the score to settle with the Bat.
The money I lost from the shipment
is nothing compared to
what I'll get for you.
People will pay a
premium for a piece of...
The Bat.
Luke, now.
Hold still.
[LINKS BREAKING]
[ALARM BLARING]
Go check it out!
- Unh!
- Ugh.
[GUNSHOTS]
Please, please. I won't tell
anyone about you and SRR.
Aah!
I know.
[GROANING]
[GUNSHOT]
Unh!
Agh! Ugh! Oof!
Rahhhh!
Aah!
Aah!
Unh!
Okay. So that was awesome.
Also, Magpie's here.
- Magpie.
- Yeah. I don't know,
but she has the journal, and Luke says
that she's heading to the roof.
I'll get her. You get her out of here.
Seriously?
Early bird gets the worm.
You're a long way from Arkham.
I told you I wasn't a jailbird.
[BOTH GRUNTING]
You know what they a
about a bird in the hand?
Yeah, I do.
No!
Okay. So which one do you
want to hear first...
"thanks for saving my ass" or
"sorry for always shutting you out"?
Uh... you pick.
I'm sorry for always
keeping you at arm's length,
but it's not because I don't trust you
or think that you can't handle yourself,
which obviously you can.
It's because I've
already lost one sister,
and the thought of losing you, too,
I... I can't, Mary,
but thank you for not listening to me
and risking your life to save mine.
I guess I just have
to get used to the fact
that you are... a total badass.
Badass enough
to be one of your
real estate assistants?
I believe they prefer
to be called associates.
- Ohh!
- Oh, okay.
All right. I'll see you in the Batcave.
That is literally the coolest
thing anyone has ever said to me.
- Okay.
- Okay. All right. Bye.
WOMAN: ♪ Always, always be home ♪
Crazy night, huh?
Uh, you could definitely say that.
And apparently Batwoman was here,
which is superweird
because the last time
I saw Batwoman I was with you.
Kind of a crazy coincidence.
Actually, it's not.
I wasn't really at the club
sussing out the competition.
Johnny Sabatino stole something
from Wayne Enterprises,
and I needed it back.
Batwoman helped me.
Think you could, uh,
get me her autograph?
- Probably not.
- Heh heh.
But I could give you a ride home.
After tonight, I was
heading to get a drink.
Your place still open?
Nope.
[ROYAL TEETH'S "SHOW YOU
WHAT I CAN DO" PLAYING]
♪ I want, I want, I want to show you ♪
♪ Forget, forget the old news ♪
♪ You got the world
right in front of you ♪
♪ They say patience is a virtue ♪
♪ I been looking for the right,
I been looking for the right ♪
♪ I been looking for the
right time to show you ♪
♪ Get up, get up and resist ♪
♪ Put up, put up your two fists ♪
♪ We need, we need a new fix ♪
♪ Can't keep going on like this ♪
♪ I been looking for the right,
been looking for the right ♪
♪ I been looking for the
right time to show you ♪
[GASPS]
Oh... my... God.
Ohh! Oh!
Huh.
Holy crap!
What?
Oh, my God! Oh. Where's...
Whoa, whoa, whoa! No, no! No!
- Okay.
- What?
This. Absolutely no one can know
about this place, understand?
Yes.
Kate's life depends on
this, Mary. I'm serious.
You can trust me really.
This is the biggest secret
you will ever keep in
your whole life, okay?
Okay. Look. When Bruce first
showed me this place...
Bruce Wayne is Batman?
- Um, that's...
- Ohh!
Okay.
[MOANS]
LUKE: What do you mean it's gone?
I woke up, and Reagan was gone,
and... and... and so was the book.
The book filled with secrets
my dad died to protect?
I never thought that Reagan would...
I'm sorry, Luke.
Yeah. Sorry doesn't undo the fact
that your life is very
much in danger again,
as in right where we started but worse!
JULIA: Guys... with
everyone in Gotham trying
to get their hands on that journal,
I think the million-dollar question is
what would a bloody
bartender want with it?
Hope you know you cost me a
really hot girlfriend, Magpie...
Again.
That's what you get for
falling for a Mark again.
You know how this works.
We steal from the rich
because they'll never miss it.
You aren't supposed to miss them.
You got your book.
You can trade it for your
freedom, but I'm out.
I'm done being advance scout for Magpie.
I thought you'd do
anything for your sister.
I'm pretty sure I just did.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Since we missed dinner,
how about we grab a celebratory brekkie?
With Tommy Elliot not
getting his day in court,
I'm not sure what there is to celebrate.
Hmm. Think we can think of something.
[CELL PHONE VIBRATING]
Oh, I got to get this.
Um, I'll catch you up?
Yeah.
I was gonna call you.
Yeah. Yeah.
I understand.
There's been an unforeseen setback.
I don't have my hands
on the journal yet,
but I assure I will,
and then it'll be yours.
Hold still. One wrong move,
and my little tracker
friend will zap you,
and you'll be a dead dodo.
There. Now you're free to fly the coop.
Oh. Good.
I was never meant to be a homing pigeon.
How's my new favorite book?
Have you gotten to the chapter yet
that tells us how to kill the Bat?
No, because it appears Tommy Elliot
neglected to share one very...
crucial detail.
Lucius Fox wrote the
entire journal in code!
What?
Errr!
Used unmarked bills as promised.
Congratulations.
You're now the new proud of owner
of 7 hearts, 14 kidneys,
7 livers, 14 lungs,
and 14 corneas.
[SCREAMING]
Some disassembly required.
Oof! Aah!
Huh! Agh!
Over there! She went that way!
Ugh!
Aah!
Agh!
I'm just saying. Like, a braid
or something could help.
I am not wearing a braid.
Congratulations! On behalf
of the medical profession
both licensed and unlicensed,
I'd like to offer my sincerest whatup
on shutting down that chop shop.
I wasn't sure how you guys celebrated.
Usually by icing my knuckles.
MARY: For you.
So this is what a
victory lap looks like.
Trafficker got away,
some asshat yanked my wig,
almost pulled off my cowl.
Who could have predicted
that 30,000 strands
of grab-me red hair would be like
waving a flag in front of a bull?
What if you ran an electrical
charge through the cowl
so that the next person
who tried to get grabby
would have 10,000 volts of hands off?
As much as I love the thought
of wrapping my head in lightning...
Right. Dumb.
Uh, I've had a few of these.
Withdrawn.
We will celebrate as soon as we get
this organ-stealing creep behind bars.
Okay. Well... Go Batteam,
which I'm not on...
So I'm just taking the champagne.
Backing away. Heh.
The cowl shock thing not the worst idea.
She wants to be part of this,
and the answer is no.
She doesn't want to be part of this
as much as she wants
to be part of your life.
Then I will take her out for dinner.
We need to focus on your dad's journal.
If that thing really is the cookbook
of Wayne Enterprises' best-kept secrets,
we need to find where
Tommy Elliot hid it.
So where do we start?
Whichever aisle's the property
seized from Tommy Elliot.
Ha ha ha! Of course Tommy collected,
like, every Kitty Delgado comic.
Ha ha! Oh, my God.
There's no way a cat burglar's squeezing
into those tight spaces
with those jubblies.
Hmm. Ha ha!
So if I were the smoking gun
that links Tommy Elliot to
the murder of Lucius Fox,
where would I be?
Oh, I don't know, luv,
but I hope The Crows pay overtime.
I'll settle for hazard pay.
[RINGS]
Tell me you found that journal.
We've gone through the entire place,
which is basically a shrine
to his twig and berries,
but alas, no Lucius Fox journal.
The guy owned at least 40
buildings in Gotham alone.
Who knows where he
could have stashed it?
Well, there is one person who knows.
Ha ha!
Ah. Kandy Kane.
Well, your... your real estate business
must really be tanking
if you were willing to
let them frisk you for,
what, a few how-tos.
Believe it or not, Tommy boy,
I'm not here for a measuring contest.
Oh. That's too bad.
Speaking of being the bigger man,
have you heard from Bruce?
Visiting hours are 4 days a week.
He's a total no-show.
Is that any way to
treat your best friend?
It is if he killed his actual
best friend... Lucius Fox.
That's an outrageous lie.
Lucius was never Bruce's best friend.
Of course that would be your takeaway.
What did Lucius Fox ever do for Bruce?
You mean, besides turning Wayne R&D
into the world leader
in defense technology?
Oh, but you already knew that.
That's why you had him
killed... for his journal.
You wanted the keys to the candy store.
Where's the journal now, Tommy?
[CRYING]
I miss... I miss my mommy!
Can I talk to her?
That's okay, Tommy.
The guy you hired to pull the
trigger, he's had a lot to say.
Thanks for stopping by, double-K,
and tell your cousin
the bells are on!
[TOMMY HUMMING]
BUTLER: It's fine. Thank you.
Get out of my cell.
But yours is so much roomier than mine,
and there's going to be a vacancy
when they strap you
to the electric chair
for murdering Lucius Fox.
Zzzt! Zzzt!
Oh, but, Alice, haven't you heard?
I'm crazy! 100% unfit to stand trial.
BUTLER: Mmm. Not anymore, I'm afraid.
I got a call this morning from a judge
asking my opinion in regards
to your fitness to stand trial.
As Arkham's Chief Medical Officer,
I could hardly lie,
so The Crows will be
here soon to collect you.
But we can help you.
Why... would you help me?
Because you're gonna help us.
I couldn't help but listen in
to your little visit with Kate Kane
because when my sister wants something,
I want it more.
What's so special about the dearly
departed Lucius Fox's journal
just between us bad guys?
I'm sorry.
Are you two working together?
What's going on here?
You can answer the question voluntarily,
or we will extract it.
Heh.
Supposedly, it's a failsafe
to kill the Bat if the suit ever
got into the wrong hands.
Why's Bruce Wayne's R&D
guy telling dear diary
about that?
Because Bruce Wayne's Batman.
Curiouser and curiouser.
And now I want to know all the more
where is the book?
Hmm.
I'm just debating
should I hand it over to...
Gotham's most prolific killer
for nothing in return?
Give us the journal,
and we will let you walk out of here.
Really? Just out into the street
where every wanted
poster will have my...
Face on it?
Not if we get you a new one.
Oh. Tch.
This is what it's like
bartering with a psychopath.
Ahem.
[GRUNTS]
We can make you into
anyone you want to be...
real, imagined...
Whoever your little heart desires.
So do we have a deal?
You called it. Whatever you said
must have rattled Tommy's cage.
22 minutes since you left Arkham,
and there's already
an outgoing call to...
Address says the lookout.
Isn't that Johnny Sabatino's club?
Technically, but Tommy
owns the building.
Hmm. Rumor has it, that
Sabatino's been laundering
Tommy's money through
that club for years.
That is one posh laundromat.
SABATINO: Tommy, how's
the padded palace, buddy?
TOMMY: I'm hoping to
make it a distant memory.
Listen. Remember that
item I had you hold onto?
Ha ha! What? The one that you had me
break into your office
at 4:00 in the morning
to get the night you were arrested?
No idea what you're talking about.
Oh, yeah. It's still here.
Living rent-free.
Well, it's time for it to come home.
Understood. I'll be in touch
to work out the details.
Well, at least we know
where the journal is.
Yeah, at a very high floor
of a mob-infested nightclub.
How would you like to infiltrate that?
By walking through the front door.
Uh-oh. Wait. Can you feel that?
Nope. Feeling nothing.
What is happening?
Mmm. I think you feel it.
I think you feel it. Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
- Come on. Say it.
We're... going clubbing.
We're going clubbing.
- Sss!
- Yech.
Okay. So these are all the finalists
because they deliver on the sss
and Batgadget concealment
because we want to hide the goods
but not hide the goods, you feel me?
Okay. The goal is to blend in.
Yeah, but at this place,
standing out is blending in.
I mean, The Lookout is the
hottest club in Gotham...
no offense to your bar.
It's... you know, it's more of a lounge.
- Mm-hmm.
- And fortunately,
your Batboots are both
functional and on trend.
What's in that one?
Oh. That is...
♪ Mine ♪
Ha! Check it!
How insane is this?
Oh, but if you want to
wear it instead, you can.
- You're not going, Mary.
- What?
I'm sorry. It's too dangerous.
Dangerous? I have
been poisoned, stabbed,
and nearly exsanguinated, and the fact
that I have lived to
use that word as a verb
is proof that I can look out for myself.
That place will be filled with mobsters.
Which is why you need backup.
Ahem. I already have it.
MARY: I thought there weren't
any more spots on the Batteam.
Oh. I'm just an honorary member, luv.
The Crows plucked her from the SRR.
She's literally trained for this.
Seriously, it's nothing personal,
and thank you so much for all of this.
[SIGHS]
KALI J: ♪ Look at me ♪
Sounds like Soph's on her
way to arrest Tommy Elliot.
- Huh. Good for Soph.
- Yeah.
Robles's confession. They're charging
Tommy with Lucius Fox's murder.
Luke will be glad to hear that.
Is all official Crows business conducted
using hamburger emojis?
It's a cheeseburger.
Nah. She wanted to see if
I was up for celebrating.
You never mentioned she
was a burger connoisseur.
Well, just don't bother
trying to convince her
that kimchi is the best topping.
Oh, I've already taken that hill.
It's her new favorite.
KALI J: ♪ Uh-huh, so cool,
it's the talk of the town ♪
♪ And wow, uh-huh ♪
♪ Listen now 'cause
I'll break it down now ♪
♪ It's time to get to
places I want to go ♪
When?
What do you mean?
When did you find time
to take on that hill?
Don't you two have,
like, work or something?
All we do is work, luv.
Between the late hours and
all this stress with her mum,
let's just say greasy food's
her best mate right now.
Her mom?
Yeah. She came out to her mum.
Seriously?
Gravely serious, I'm afraid.
Her mum's not talking to her.
Soph's a right mess.
LUKE: Good evening, party crashers.
Tuxedo One, you have a
date with the utility hub
one level down.
Red One, there's an employee
bathroom on the north end.
Could be a good place
for a wardrobe change.
- Copy that.
- 10-4.
FIRE CHOIR: ♪ That classic
way that you move ♪
♪ Okay, okay, now you got my attention ♪
♪ Can't take my eyes off of you ♪
REAGAN: Kate?
Reagan?
- Hi.
- What are you doing here?
Don't you have a club of your own now?
I'm checking out the competition.
Promise not to tell your boss?
Only if you let me make
you a drink on the house
and you promise not to tell my boss.
- Deal.
- I actually stopped by
The Holdup a couple of times.
I was hoping,
I don't know, maybe
I would run into you.
I don't really oversee the day-to-day.
Too busy? Yeah. I remember.
At the risk of sounding
even more stalkery,
I've been following your
real estate endeavors.
Buying up property around Bennett Park
and actually lowering the rents?
Heh.
This city could use
a lot more Kate Kane.
FIRE CHOIR: ♪ I really like
long walks on the beach ♪
♪ I really like playing hide-and-seek ♪
♪ I really like to dance to the beat ♪
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
FIRE CHOIR: ♪ Heart, eyes,
overload, it's irresistible ♪
This is really good.
It's called an...
I sort of thought you'd
fight harder to win me back,
and I've regretted
walking away ever since.
That is very specific.
Any chance you know how to make
- a Kate Kane is a total idiot?
- Mm-hmm.
LUKE, ON COMMS: Can
you ask her to make you
a what the hell are you doing?
You have a mission to complete.
Is your ear okay?
It's fine. Can you hear
that annoying whining sound?
LUKE: Hilarious.
No, I don't.
- I'm gonna get an advil.
- Okay.
LUKE: Smooth.
I'm not talking to you.
LUKE: Tuxedo One, you
still talking to me?
I'm here. Found the controls.
[ELECTRICITY HUMMING]
FIRE CHOIR: ♪ La la la la la la ♪
♪ La la la la la la ♪
♪ La la la la la la ♪
♪ I really like to dance to the beat ♪
[BEEPING]
Intense. Johnny really likes
keeping tabs on his clientele...
But his office is completely empty.
I'm thinking it's time for lights out.
[HUMMING STOPS]
[MUSIC STOPS]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
MAN: Hey!
[GRUNTING]
Bloody hell. I'm made.
We got a problem. Julia's been grabbed.
I think this is a trap!
The building schematic
shows a wall safe.
I'm betting it's in there.
Or it's just sitting on his desk.
LUKE: Awfully important book
to just leave lying around.
[ALARM BLARING]
Unh!
Kate? Kate, come in! Kate!
[HANDCUFFS CLINKING]
BUTLER: Mr. Elliot's cell is 243.
[CELL LOCK DISENGAGES]
[CELL DOOR CREAKS, OPENS]
Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses
and all the king's men
couldn't put humpty together again,
but he was an egg and
never should have been
sitting on that wall in the first place,
and honestly, what were a
bunch of horses gonna do?
W-W-When do I get my face?
As soon as I get that journal,
and it's not just a face, Tommy.
It's a whole new you.
[SPUTTERING]
SABATINO: Oh. What's the
deal with the other one?
Mary Poppins says she works for SRR.
Huh. A little out of her zip code.
Talk to our guys across the pond,
see if she's worth anything.
Take her in the back,
and let's, uh, put the
word out to the families
we're auctioning off Batwoman
to the highest bidder.
Winner gets to cure
Gotham of its Bat problem.
You got it, boss.
What do you mean they caught her?
What happened to your member
of the special reconnaissance
turns out I'm not good
backup at all regiment?
I didn't call you down here
for a yelp review, Mary.
I need you on the comms
monitoring the cameras for me.
- What?
- I'm going in and save Kate and Julia.
Going in as what, Sabatino's accountant?
Look. No offense. This is not
gonna get you past the bouncer.
- It has to be me.
- Okay. No offense, but you're insane.
I know Sabatino's cousin.
I pumped her stomach when she O.D.ed.
She owes me one.
She can get me facetime with her cousin.
And then what? Ask him nicely,
offer to tag his club on your insta?
- You sound like Kate.
- Because she's right, Mary.
It's too dangerous! Case in point,
she was just apprehended.
Well, then what's the
Batprotocol here, Luke?
I don't know!
I don't know.
All I do know is that I really
wish my dad were here right now
because he would know what to do,
but he's not
because he died protecting that journal,
and now Kate and Julia
might do the same,
and I cannot add you to that list.
Look. I know no one
trusts me to pull this off,
but I trust you to keep me safe.
- Okay. Uh...
- Okay.
Fine. Then you're gonna
need some Bataccessories.
- Okay.
- Don't worry.
They go with everything.
[BATARANG CLINKS]
[CELL PHONE VIBRATING]
[BEEP]
Tomcat, hey, man.
Thanks for giving me the need to know
on our uninvited guest, but I got to ask
how'd you know Batwoman would
be coming for the journal?
Well, I have friends in low places.
Yeah, that I knew.
The Bat's been a Thorn
in my bottom line for too long.
Can't wait to clip her wings.
Oh. Well, you enjoy that, buddy.
- Where's the journal?
- Yeah. See, here's the thing.
If that book was so important
that the Batbaby wanted it,
I'm thinking that you
undersold me on its value,
so I'm gonna hang onto it.
Johnny, Johnny, Johnny,
don't be a dick.
Tommy, your accounts are
frozen, you're on ice.
Can you blame me for giving
you the cold shoulder?
Take care of yourself, buddy.
That son of a bitch was
like a brother to me!
Clearly, you are an only child.
Otherwise, you would know
that our dear siblings
are the ones most
predisposed to betray us.
Why aren't you more upset,
considering you won't
be getting the journal
you so desperately want?
You should be more
careful who you trust.
If you can't trust your money launderer,
who can you trust?
Hmm. No one.
I only trust in the fact that
people can't be trusted.
So you knew that Johnny
was gonna betray me?
No. I just didn't trust him not to.
Well, congratulations, Alice.
You were right,
but you still don't have the book.
Hmm.
I have a contingency.
You see, I released a rare bird
from her cage here at Arkham,
Gotham's most notorious
feather-clad Klepto.
The chick who thinks she's a myna bird?
She prefers to be called Magpie.
TONES AND I: ♪ Dance for me,
dance for me, dance for me ♪
♪ Uh-huh, oh ♪
Vodka... Venti.
Woman after my own heart.
Sure that's the best idea?
TONES AND I: ♪ Move for me,
move for me, move for me ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, and
when you're done... ♪
Aria!
Hi.
♪ I said, oh, my God ♪
I'm... not placing you.
Oh. Picture me upside down,
holding a bedpan of your puke.
Oh, my God! Mary, hi!
LUKE, ON COMMS: Okay. I'm impressed.
What are you doing here?
Um, I was actually
looking for your cousin.
- Oh. Cousin Johnny?
- Mmm.
He's just in a superintense
meeting right now.
Oh, I know. With a bunch of his...
LUKE: Do not say, "crime families".
- Mafia bros.
- Mafia?
LUKE: Yeah, you're dead.
Or his frat bros or something.
I don't know, but he texted me 911
with a bunch of typos.
Issues with embarrassing
nosebleeds from the... [SNIFFS]
Oh! Say no more.
Let me see what I can do.
TONES AND I: ♪ The
things you do before ♪
Really starting to regret
this dress right now.
LUKE: You're doing awesome.
Sold to Vasily Kosov.
You are the proud owner of Batwoman's
very own grappling gun.
All right. Now on to the
final item of the night
and, let's face it, the
reason you're all here.
I give you the Scarlet Knight herself.
We're gonna start the
bidding at $2 million.
2 million. Do I have 2.5?
How about 3 million?
Come on. Do I have 4?
$10 million.
Unh!
So who you supposed to be,
the Bat's sidekick?
Ohh.
I'm gonna tell you what
I told you 9 punches ago.
I'm not with Batwoman.
I'm with the Special
Reconnaissance Regiment.
WOMAN: That's interesting...
Because I just got off the phone
with our contact at the SRR.
He says you haven't
been under their employ
for the past 6 months,
something about going
rogue and betraying
the organization's trust.
Now... let's start fresh...
Shall we?
Who are you really working for?
This is a surprise.
Usually when they say I have a visitor,
it's followed by the words
"just kidding"
and a lot of laughter at my expense.
You're the one who put
yourself in here, Alice, not me.
Technically if we're splitting hairs,
Kate shoved me into the cell,
and you helped lock the door,
but... whatever lets you sleep at night.
Tommy Elliot just hanged himself,
or that's what it was
meant to look like.
Do you know anything about that?
[SIGHS]
What do I know?
I know I don't give two
hoots about Tommy Elliot!
I know I don't have any
motivation to help you,
and I know it is impossible
for one to heal from the trauma
of being locked in a cage
when one is still locked in a cage!
How many times did you tell me
that Beth was never coming back?
This is me admitting
that you were right.
Do you know what they
do to patients in here?
They put electrodes on our heads
and blast us with so much
electricity that we seize.
And I don't know the exact science,
but... after about 10 jolts,
let me tell you,
you start convincing everyone
around you that it worked.
I'm sorry that it ended up this way.
If you mean that, then
get me out of here.
I can't. I have to protect
the daughters that I have left.
The thing they don't
tell you about ECT is
that once it's over
all that's left is clarity.
Ha! I see everything now,
how this came to be,
how it will end,
and I promise you, Daddy,
what I have in store for you
is so much worse than a cage
or electrodes or insanity.
I guess you could say it's...
Worse than being me...
But you'll see.
SABATINO: Who are you?
The heir to Hamilton Dynamics,
and I got money to spend.
Look. I don't care about
any personal vendetta
against Batwoman.
Whether she blew up a shipment of "H"
or bataranged your dog,
I don't give a feel.
Hamilton Dynamics wants
the technology in that suit,
and we're willing to
pay handsomely for it.
Okay. Well, I don't know how you
heard about our little bake sale,
but I do know what
$10 million looks like,
and it won't fit in that briefcase.
It's 2.5. The balance will be wired
to whatever account you...
This is an all-cash
business, Ms. Hamilton,
but you want the suit, it's yours
as soon as we peel it
off of her dead body.
So I got good news and bad news.
Nope. It's all bad,
and it somehow just got worse.
Shiny, shiny.
2.5 million for the suit
off of her dead body,
and with the highest bid for
the privilege of killing her,
sold to the gentleman
with the score to settle with the Bat.
The money I lost from the shipment
is nothing compared to
what I'll get for you.
People will pay a
premium for a piece of...
The Bat.
Luke, now.
Hold still.
[LINKS BREAKING]
[ALARM BLARING]
Go check it out!
- Unh!
- Ugh.
[GUNSHOTS]
Please, please. I won't tell
anyone about you and SRR.
Aah!
I know.
[GROANING]
[GUNSHOT]
Unh!
Agh! Ugh! Oof!
Rahhhh!
Aah!
Aah!
Unh!
Okay. So that was awesome.
Also, Magpie's here.
- Magpie.
- Yeah. I don't know,
but she has the journal, and Luke says
that she's heading to the roof.
I'll get her. You get her out of here.
Seriously?
Early bird gets the worm.
You're a long way from Arkham.
I told you I wasn't a jailbird.
[BOTH GRUNTING]
You know what they a
about a bird in the hand?
Yeah, I do.
No!
Okay. So which one do you
want to hear first...
"thanks for saving my ass" or
"sorry for always shutting you out"?
Uh... you pick.
I'm sorry for always
keeping you at arm's length,
but it's not because I don't trust you
or think that you can't handle yourself,
which obviously you can.
It's because I've
already lost one sister,
and the thought of losing you, too,
I... I can't, Mary,
but thank you for not listening to me
and risking your life to save mine.
I guess I just have
to get used to the fact
that you are... a total badass.
Badass enough
to be one of your
real estate assistants?
I believe they prefer
to be called associates.
- Ohh!
- Oh, okay.
All right. I'll see you in the Batcave.
That is literally the coolest
thing anyone has ever said to me.
- Okay.
- Okay. All right. Bye.
WOMAN: ♪ Always, always be home ♪
Crazy night, huh?
Uh, you could definitely say that.
And apparently Batwoman was here,
which is superweird
because the last time
I saw Batwoman I was with you.
Kind of a crazy coincidence.
Actually, it's not.
I wasn't really at the club
sussing out the competition.
Johnny Sabatino stole something
from Wayne Enterprises,
and I needed it back.
Batwoman helped me.
Think you could, uh,
get me her autograph?
- Probably not.
- Heh heh.
But I could give you a ride home.
After tonight, I was
heading to get a drink.
Your place still open?
Nope.
[ROYAL TEETH'S "SHOW YOU
WHAT I CAN DO" PLAYING]
♪ I want, I want, I want to show you ♪
♪ Forget, forget the old news ♪
♪ You got the world
right in front of you ♪
♪ They say patience is a virtue ♪
♪ I been looking for the right,
I been looking for the right ♪
♪ I been looking for the
right time to show you ♪
♪ Get up, get up and resist ♪
♪ Put up, put up your two fists ♪
♪ We need, we need a new fix ♪
♪ Can't keep going on like this ♪
♪ I been looking for the right,
been looking for the right ♪
♪ I been looking for the
right time to show you ♪
[GASPS]
Oh... my... God.
Ohh! Oh!
Huh.
Holy crap!
What?
Oh, my God! Oh. Where's...
Whoa, whoa, whoa! No, no! No!
- Okay.
- What?
This. Absolutely no one can know
about this place, understand?
Yes.
Kate's life depends on
this, Mary. I'm serious.
You can trust me really.
This is the biggest secret
you will ever keep in
your whole life, okay?
Okay. Look. When Bruce first
showed me this place...
Bruce Wayne is Batman?
- Um, that's...
- Ohh!
Okay.
[MOANS]
LUKE: What do you mean it's gone?
I woke up, and Reagan was gone,
and... and... and so was the book.
The book filled with secrets
my dad died to protect?
I never thought that Reagan would...
I'm sorry, Luke.
Yeah. Sorry doesn't undo the fact
that your life is very
much in danger again,
as in right where we started but worse!
JULIA: Guys... with
everyone in Gotham trying
to get their hands on that journal,
I think the million-dollar question is
what would a bloody
bartender want with it?
Hope you know you cost me a
really hot girlfriend, Magpie...
Again.
That's what you get for
falling for a Mark again.
You know how this works.
We steal from the rich
because they'll never miss it.
You aren't supposed to miss them.
You got your book.
You can trade it for your
freedom, but I'm out.
I'm done being advance scout for Magpie.
I thought you'd do
anything for your sister.
I'm pretty sure I just did.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Since we missed dinner,
how about we grab a celebratory brekkie?
With Tommy Elliot not
getting his day in court,
I'm not sure what there is to celebrate.
Hmm. Think we can think of something.
[CELL PHONE VIBRATING]
Oh, I got to get this.
Um, I'll catch you up?
Yeah.
I was gonna call you.
Yeah. Yeah.
I understand.
There's been an unforeseen setback.
I don't have my hands
on the journal yet,
but I assure I will,
and then it'll be yours.
Hold still. One wrong move,
and my little tracker
friend will zap you,
and you'll be a dead dodo.
There. Now you're free to fly the coop.
Oh. Good.
I was never meant to be a homing pigeon.
How's my new favorite book?
Have you gotten to the chapter yet
that tells us how to kill the Bat?
No, because it appears Tommy Elliot
neglected to share one very...
crucial detail.
Lucius Fox wrote the
entire journal in code!
What?
Errr!