Batman: The Animated Series (1992–1995): Season 1, Episode 20 - I've Got Batman in My Basement - full transcript
While trying to thwart Penguin's robbery of a rare Faberge egg, Batman is weakened by exposure to a toxic gas. He takes shelter in a basement apartment belonging to a teen-aged amateur detective.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(DRILLING)
(GLASS SHATTERS)
(CHUCKLES)
A piece of cake.
Just like the boss said.
Yeah, all it took was five minutes.
BATMAN: And that will get you
five years.
With good behavior.
(BIRD SCREECHING)
(GRUNTING)
(BIRD SCREECHING)
(GRUNTING)
-(CONTINUES SCREECHING)
-(CONTINUES GRUNTING)
Bird seed?
Hey, Roberta,
it's got a walkie-talkie wrist band.
A pen light, binoculars,
even this cool badge.
Yo, Sherwood, what you got there?
It's a junior detective kit.
And the name's Sherman.
A fake, just like you, wormwood.
FRANK: Whoa. Check this out.
A hawk.
Come on, Frank. Those are mine.
-(FRANK LAUGHING)
- SHERMAN: Come on. Give it back.
Can't you find any of your
own species to play with?
Ah, don't pitch a fit.
We're just kidding around.
Hey, that's no hawk.
Judging by its wingspread
and the shape of its head,
it's obviously a giant
South American vulture.
(SCOFFS) A vulture, in Gotham City?
FRANK: Sure thing, Sherlock.
SHERMAN: Come on, Roberta.
ROBERTA: Sherman, where are we going?
A vulture in Gotham City
is a mystery worth checking out.
Come on, Roberta. It went in there.
Sherman, the sign says it's condemned.
You shouldn't go in.
Men.
I don't like it.
Cop a squat and dummy up, Jay.
If the boss said to meet him back here,
we meet him here.
(GASPS) What's that?
It's just birdseed, birdbrain.
Come on, let's get out of here.
The Penguin.
(SQUAWS)
Aw, Scrap, my faithful pet.
Ready for a ripe repast?
(SHUDDERS)
That bald buzzard gives me the willies.
If it weren't for Scrap,
you two would be feathering
your nest at Stonegate Penitentiary.
Now, where is it?
Oh, how much more doth beauty
beauteous seem by this sweet egg,
which we have scrambled for?
SHERMAN:
They stole the Vonalster Fabergé Egg.
The what?
Don't you read the papers?
Do the comics count?
That thing's worth a fortune.
We gotta tell someone.
(SCREECHING)
(EXCLAIMS)
PENGUIN: Batman!
Get that capon crusader.
(ALL SCREAM)
SHERMAN: Batman.
-(WHIRS)
-(BOTH SCREAM)
(BOTH SCREAM)
(BATMAN GRUNTS)
Get out. Now!
(STUTTERS) Yes, sir.
(GRUNTS)
You should have taken your own advice.
(GRUNTS)
-(GAS HISSES)
-(COUGHING)
(CONTINUES COUGHING)
(BEEPING)
(ENGINE STARTS)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(BATMAN CONTINUES COUGHING)
(GROANS)
Batman's in trouble. Come on.
I don't know about this.
(GRUNTS) It's those delinquents.
Stop them!
- Quick, inside.
- Sherman, do something.
(BOTH COUGHING)
We gotta get out of here.
What am I doing?
I'm not old enough to drive.
(STRAINS) I can't reach the pedals.
I can.
Push that long one.
(ENGINE STARTS)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
(ALL CONTINUE EXCLAIMING)
(GRUNTS)
Hit it again.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(JAY GRUNTS)
Okay, Roberta, floor it.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(SCREAMS)
(SCREAMS)
(CONTINUES SCREAMING)
Be-fowled by a couple of fledglings.
SHERMAN: Keep it going, Roberta.
I think I'm starting
to get the hang of this.
(GROANS)
SHERMAN: Come on, Batman.
This will help.
(coueus)
(BATMAN GROANING)
It's okay.
My name is Sherman.
And I'm a detective, too.
We're lying low in my basement.
We got the egg down here, too.
See, this is my crime lab.
It's not exactly the Batcave.
Capsule.
"Cap"
No, you're not captured, Batman.
You're safe here.
It's just Mom and me.
And she's at work.
(ROBERTA CLEARS THROAT)
Oh, yeah. And Roberta's here.
She's cool.
No.
Visor.
(GROANS)
Wonder what that meant.
Don't look at me.
I've had enough mystery for one day.
- I'm calling the police.
- No way.
A detective always has to protect
the identity of his client,
especially when it's this client.
Those meddling brats
couldn't have gotten too far.
But, boss, what about the Batman?
Batman's a worm, less than nothing,
a worthless peasant.
And besides, the gas will keep him null
and void for a good week.
MRS. GRANT:
Sherman, what are you doing down there?
Nothing, Mom.
MRS. GRANT: You're not trying to make
gunpowder again, are you?
No, Mom, honest.
We saved Batman's life, Mrs. Grant,
and now we're hiding him
from some bad criminals.
MRS. GRANT:
That's good, just don't make a mess.
Nice going, Miss Bigmouth.
Sorry, Sherman.
I guess I panicked.
MRS. GRANT:
I'm going to the store, Sherman.
Stay out of trouble.
SHERMAN: Sure thing, Mom.
Afternoon, Mrs. Grant.
Lovely day, isn't it?
He's up! He shoots! It looks good!
Oh, no!
Man, oh, man! Scope out these wheels.
SHERMAN: You guys
better leave that alone.
Oh, Golly, we sure are scared,
aren't we, Nicholas?
Oh, yes, Francis, we certainly are.
Step aside, Shirley.
- Cool. Whose car is this?
-(DEVICES BEEPING)
It's my mom's-- My uncle's.
All right, look, it's the Batmobile.
FRANK: Yeah, right.
Hey, I don't think he's kidding.
What's this?
Some kind of capsules.
Capsule?
Capsule on the visor.
That's what he meant.
Give me that!
It's a matter of life or death.
(BIRD SCREECHING)
(CONTINUES SCREECHING)
(CONTINUES SCREECHING)
- No!
-(BIRD SCREECHES)
-(CONTINUES SCREECHING)
- BOTH: Whoa!
(CONTINUES SCREECHING)
SHERMAN: Come on, Batman, wake up.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
It's him!
NICK: Totally awesome.
I wonder who he really is.
No! Get back.
(NICK AND FRANK GRUNT)
This isn't a game, you jerks.
If the vulture's here that means
the Penguin will be right on his tail.
BOTH: The Penguin?
-(TIRES SCREECHES)
- Oh, no! What's that?
Oh, great! It's him.
That's it. I'm calling 911.
It's dead.
So much for phone calls, huh, boss?
Then it's them or us.
Be careful with that egg, Roberta.
I bet we can find
something here to help us.
(BIRD SCREECHES)
I don't think anyone's home.
Yeah, the place is locked up tight.
Stone walls do not a prison make
nor locked doors a barricade.
Gentlemen,
and I use the term loosely,
after you.
Okay, get ready for operation Fowl Play.
(EXCLAIMS)
How bourgeois.
Tearing this place apart
could only improve it.
(CLATTERS)
Let the egg hunt begin.
(OBJECTS CLATTERING)
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTING)
(SHATTERS)
- Hey, Raven, are you okay?
-(EXPLOSION)
(SCREAMS)
These commoners
have such cheap furniture.
Come on, Batman, snap out of it.
If that didn't wake him,
I don't know what will.
Charge! Now, Roberta!
Nice shot.
Be careful, Roberta,
you don't wanna get too close.
-(PENGUIN GRUNTS)
- We did it.
Children defending their nest.
How noble. How endearing.
How ineffective.
Grab the little pests.
He's not awake yet?
Frank thought he saw his eye blink.
-(DOOR CLICKS)
-(EXPLOSION)
(POUNDING ON DOOR)
Valiant effort, but I win.
Now, back away, you irksome imps.
Ah. (CHUCKLES)
A treat with my egg.
Sliced ham. (CHUCKLES)
No.
Farewell, Bat-vermin.
(PENGUIN GRUNTS)
Batman!
BATMAN: Back off, Penguin.
Gentlemen, your timing is impeccable.
Take no prisoners!
(RAVEN GRUNTS)
(JAY GRUNTS)
(BOTH GRUNTING)
(RAVEN SCREAMS)
-(JAY GRUNTS)
-(THUD)
I'll clip your wings, you flying rodent.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
PENGUIN: Still a little dazed, are we?
(PENGUIN GRUNTING)
We're safe!
MRS. GRANT: My house!
(YELLS) Sherman!
Maybe you're safe.
Young man, you've got some
serious explaining to do.
(GASPS)
Uh, Mom, I'd like you to meet Batman.
Batman, this is my mom.
Ma'am.
Uh, hello.
Say, Batman, you wouldn't be single,
would you?
Now, where was I?
Someone keeps swiping
Mr. Vanducci's newspaper?
Right, Frank.
You and Nick set up for surveillance.
Roberta and I will be over at
Mrs. Fineman's. Her dog is missing.
You're the boss.
BOTH: Sherman.
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
English - SDH
(DRILLING)
(GLASS SHATTERS)
(CHUCKLES)
A piece of cake.
Just like the boss said.
Yeah, all it took was five minutes.
BATMAN: And that will get you
five years.
With good behavior.
(BIRD SCREECHING)
(GRUNTING)
(BIRD SCREECHING)
(GRUNTING)
-(CONTINUES SCREECHING)
-(CONTINUES GRUNTING)
Bird seed?
Hey, Roberta,
it's got a walkie-talkie wrist band.
A pen light, binoculars,
even this cool badge.
Yo, Sherwood, what you got there?
It's a junior detective kit.
And the name's Sherman.
A fake, just like you, wormwood.
FRANK: Whoa. Check this out.
A hawk.
Come on, Frank. Those are mine.
-(FRANK LAUGHING)
- SHERMAN: Come on. Give it back.
Can't you find any of your
own species to play with?
Ah, don't pitch a fit.
We're just kidding around.
Hey, that's no hawk.
Judging by its wingspread
and the shape of its head,
it's obviously a giant
South American vulture.
(SCOFFS) A vulture, in Gotham City?
FRANK: Sure thing, Sherlock.
SHERMAN: Come on, Roberta.
ROBERTA: Sherman, where are we going?
A vulture in Gotham City
is a mystery worth checking out.
Come on, Roberta. It went in there.
Sherman, the sign says it's condemned.
You shouldn't go in.
Men.
I don't like it.
Cop a squat and dummy up, Jay.
If the boss said to meet him back here,
we meet him here.
(GASPS) What's that?
It's just birdseed, birdbrain.
Come on, let's get out of here.
The Penguin.
(SQUAWS)
Aw, Scrap, my faithful pet.
Ready for a ripe repast?
(SHUDDERS)
That bald buzzard gives me the willies.
If it weren't for Scrap,
you two would be feathering
your nest at Stonegate Penitentiary.
Now, where is it?
Oh, how much more doth beauty
beauteous seem by this sweet egg,
which we have scrambled for?
SHERMAN:
They stole the Vonalster Fabergé Egg.
The what?
Don't you read the papers?
Do the comics count?
That thing's worth a fortune.
We gotta tell someone.
(SCREECHING)
(EXCLAIMS)
PENGUIN: Batman!
Get that capon crusader.
(ALL SCREAM)
SHERMAN: Batman.
-(WHIRS)
-(BOTH SCREAM)
(BOTH SCREAM)
(BATMAN GRUNTS)
Get out. Now!
(STUTTERS) Yes, sir.
(GRUNTS)
You should have taken your own advice.
(GRUNTS)
-(GAS HISSES)
-(COUGHING)
(CONTINUES COUGHING)
(BEEPING)
(ENGINE STARTS)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(BATMAN CONTINUES COUGHING)
(GROANS)
Batman's in trouble. Come on.
I don't know about this.
(GRUNTS) It's those delinquents.
Stop them!
- Quick, inside.
- Sherman, do something.
(BOTH COUGHING)
We gotta get out of here.
What am I doing?
I'm not old enough to drive.
(STRAINS) I can't reach the pedals.
I can.
Push that long one.
(ENGINE STARTS)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
(ALL CONTINUE EXCLAIMING)
(GRUNTS)
Hit it again.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(JAY GRUNTS)
Okay, Roberta, floor it.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(SCREAMS)
(SCREAMS)
(CONTINUES SCREAMING)
Be-fowled by a couple of fledglings.
SHERMAN: Keep it going, Roberta.
I think I'm starting
to get the hang of this.
(GROANS)
SHERMAN: Come on, Batman.
This will help.
(coueus)
(BATMAN GROANING)
It's okay.
My name is Sherman.
And I'm a detective, too.
We're lying low in my basement.
We got the egg down here, too.
See, this is my crime lab.
It's not exactly the Batcave.
Capsule.
"Cap"
No, you're not captured, Batman.
You're safe here.
It's just Mom and me.
And she's at work.
(ROBERTA CLEARS THROAT)
Oh, yeah. And Roberta's here.
She's cool.
No.
Visor.
(GROANS)
Wonder what that meant.
Don't look at me.
I've had enough mystery for one day.
- I'm calling the police.
- No way.
A detective always has to protect
the identity of his client,
especially when it's this client.
Those meddling brats
couldn't have gotten too far.
But, boss, what about the Batman?
Batman's a worm, less than nothing,
a worthless peasant.
And besides, the gas will keep him null
and void for a good week.
MRS. GRANT:
Sherman, what are you doing down there?
Nothing, Mom.
MRS. GRANT: You're not trying to make
gunpowder again, are you?
No, Mom, honest.
We saved Batman's life, Mrs. Grant,
and now we're hiding him
from some bad criminals.
MRS. GRANT:
That's good, just don't make a mess.
Nice going, Miss Bigmouth.
Sorry, Sherman.
I guess I panicked.
MRS. GRANT:
I'm going to the store, Sherman.
Stay out of trouble.
SHERMAN: Sure thing, Mom.
Afternoon, Mrs. Grant.
Lovely day, isn't it?
He's up! He shoots! It looks good!
Oh, no!
Man, oh, man! Scope out these wheels.
SHERMAN: You guys
better leave that alone.
Oh, Golly, we sure are scared,
aren't we, Nicholas?
Oh, yes, Francis, we certainly are.
Step aside, Shirley.
- Cool. Whose car is this?
-(DEVICES BEEPING)
It's my mom's-- My uncle's.
All right, look, it's the Batmobile.
FRANK: Yeah, right.
Hey, I don't think he's kidding.
What's this?
Some kind of capsules.
Capsule?
Capsule on the visor.
That's what he meant.
Give me that!
It's a matter of life or death.
(BIRD SCREECHING)
(CONTINUES SCREECHING)
(CONTINUES SCREECHING)
- No!
-(BIRD SCREECHES)
-(CONTINUES SCREECHING)
- BOTH: Whoa!
(CONTINUES SCREECHING)
SHERMAN: Come on, Batman, wake up.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
It's him!
NICK: Totally awesome.
I wonder who he really is.
No! Get back.
(NICK AND FRANK GRUNT)
This isn't a game, you jerks.
If the vulture's here that means
the Penguin will be right on his tail.
BOTH: The Penguin?
-(TIRES SCREECHES)
- Oh, no! What's that?
Oh, great! It's him.
That's it. I'm calling 911.
It's dead.
So much for phone calls, huh, boss?
Then it's them or us.
Be careful with that egg, Roberta.
I bet we can find
something here to help us.
(BIRD SCREECHES)
I don't think anyone's home.
Yeah, the place is locked up tight.
Stone walls do not a prison make
nor locked doors a barricade.
Gentlemen,
and I use the term loosely,
after you.
Okay, get ready for operation Fowl Play.
(EXCLAIMS)
How bourgeois.
Tearing this place apart
could only improve it.
(CLATTERS)
Let the egg hunt begin.
(OBJECTS CLATTERING)
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTING)
(SHATTERS)
- Hey, Raven, are you okay?
-(EXPLOSION)
(SCREAMS)
These commoners
have such cheap furniture.
Come on, Batman, snap out of it.
If that didn't wake him,
I don't know what will.
Charge! Now, Roberta!
Nice shot.
Be careful, Roberta,
you don't wanna get too close.
-(PENGUIN GRUNTS)
- We did it.
Children defending their nest.
How noble. How endearing.
How ineffective.
Grab the little pests.
He's not awake yet?
Frank thought he saw his eye blink.
-(DOOR CLICKS)
-(EXPLOSION)
(POUNDING ON DOOR)
Valiant effort, but I win.
Now, back away, you irksome imps.
Ah. (CHUCKLES)
A treat with my egg.
Sliced ham. (CHUCKLES)
No.
Farewell, Bat-vermin.
(PENGUIN GRUNTS)
Batman!
BATMAN: Back off, Penguin.
Gentlemen, your timing is impeccable.
Take no prisoners!
(RAVEN GRUNTS)
(JAY GRUNTS)
(BOTH GRUNTING)
(RAVEN SCREAMS)
-(JAY GRUNTS)
-(THUD)
I'll clip your wings, you flying rodent.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
PENGUIN: Still a little dazed, are we?
(PENGUIN GRUNTING)
We're safe!
MRS. GRANT: My house!
(YELLS) Sherman!
Maybe you're safe.
Young man, you've got some
serious explaining to do.
(GASPS)
Uh, Mom, I'd like you to meet Batman.
Batman, this is my mom.
Ma'am.
Uh, hello.
Say, Batman, you wouldn't be single,
would you?
Now, where was I?
Someone keeps swiping
Mr. Vanducci's newspaper?
Right, Frank.
You and Nick set up for surveillance.
Roberta and I will be over at
Mrs. Fineman's. Her dog is missing.
You're the boss.
BOTH: Sherman.
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
English - SDH