Batman: The Animated Series (1992–1995): Season 1, Episode 15 - The Last Laugh - full transcript
The Joker's plot to send all of Gotham into insanity with Joker-gas from a garbage scow leads to a battle on the water.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(SNIFFING)
Ew! P.U.!
Of all the disgusting...
(LAUGHING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
-(CAR HORN HONKS)
-(CONTINUES LAUGHING)
Hey!
Look out, you crazy...
(BOTH LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)
Ouch!
Rough night of crime-fighting, sir?
Very-
Well, you'll be happy to know
I've drawn you a bath.
Whenever you're ready.
What's the deal, Alfred?
I said I "drew" you a bath, sir.
April Fool's.
Very funny, Alfred.
I guess I'll just take a shower.
Not a funny bone in his entire body.
Alfred, hit the radio, would you?
Right away, sir.
REPORTER'. Traffic is at a standstill
on the Gotham expressway
where a trailer full of eggs
has overturned. This just in.
The Gotham police are investigating
a series of near-fatal accidents
along the riverfront.
Initial reports indicate
that hundreds of Gothamites
have inexplicably begun acting
like total laughing fools.
More details as they become available.
Sounds like a rather
dirty April Fools' prank.
Sounds like the Joker.
REPORTER: (OVER RADIO) At this hour,
Gotham City is in the grip of insanity.
Everywhere, people
are turning into lunatics.
The latest reports say that the wave
of foolish hysteria
is moving down 7th Avenue towards...
Towards the financial district.
(REPORTER LAUGHING)
That's my cue.
JOKER: Uh-huh. Hmm...
(CHUCKLES) Perfect.
Now, everybody,
remember where we parked.
When the going gets tough,
the tough go shopping.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
(ALL LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)
(LAUGHING CONTINUES)
Who says crime doesn't pay?
Now, this is what I call
a sidewalk sale.
(DEVICE WHIRRING)
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Airborne gas emanating
from riverfront district.
Analysis, lengthy exposure to the gas
will result in permanent insanity.
BATMAN: Alfred, I left
the hex key upstairs in the den.
Would you bring it down?
ALFRED: Oh, go fetch it yourself.
(BLOWING RASPBERRIES)
Very funny, Alfred,
but I've no time to play.
(GLASS BREAKING)
Alfred? Alfred!
(ALFRED LAUGHING IN DISTANCE)
Just a little spring cleaning, sir.
(ALFRED CONTINUES LAUGHING)
(COUGHING)
The gas!
(INHALES)
Oh!
(VASE SHATTERS)
I believe I've contracted
a giant case of the giggles.
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Lengthy exposure to the gas
will result in permanent insanity.
(ALL LAUGHING)
REPORTER: Okay, let's shoot it.
This place is giving me the creeps.
I'm here in downtown Gotham
where corporate CEOs
have gone stark raving mad.
It would appear that the collapse
of the stock market is now imminent.
The question is,
Will April Fools' Day mark the end
of Gotham City as we know it?
The only things gaining now
are the laughing stocks.
(LAUGHS)
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
(GRUMBLES)
(JOKER GROANING)
Huh? Ah!
(YELP$)
(GROANS)
(BEEPING)
Look who's come to trash the place.
A fitting setting for you, Joker.
Ooh, I just love to get down and dirty.
Okay, boys,
it's playtime!
HENCHMAN 1: It's about time.
HENCHMAN 2: What are we waiting for?
(SCREAMING)
(YELLS)
Batman, you're a real party pooper.
Why don't you take your mask off
and have a few laughs?
(LAUGHING)
Cut the clowning, Joker.
(ENGINE REVVING)
Get him.
(BATMAN GROANS)
(ARMS WHIRRING MECHANICALLY)
Tsk-tsk. You shouldn't have made
Captain Clown mad.
Time to take out the garbage!
(PANTING)
I just love these new Ziploc seals.
We wouldn't want our little
caged rodent to suffocate,
so we'll just punch some air holes.
(LAUGHING)
Okay, Captain, give it the old heave-ho.
Oops! Looks like our air holes
are water holes too.
What a shame!
(LAUGHING CONTINUES)
I never knew Batman could sink so low.
Well, Captain, this could be the start
of a beautiful friendship.
(LAUGHING)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(INHALES DEEPLY)
(DEVICE CHIRPS)
(BEEPING)
(PANTING)
You want to play dirty, Joker?
Get ready, boys. Here it comes.
This will give those April fools
a lot more smiles per gallon. (LAUGHS)
(BOTH GROAN)
What are you fools... Batman!
(GRUNTING)
(GROANS)
(GROANS AND BREATHES HEAVILY)
(LAUGHING)
(GRUMBLING)
(LAUGHING)
(WHIRRING)
JOKER: Hey, Batman!
Looks like Captain Clown
is really getting attached to you.
(STRAINING)
(BATMAN GRUNTING)
(SIGHS)
(GRUNTS)
You killed Captain Clown.
You killed Captain Clown!
Just for that, Batman...
(GROANS)
Hey, Batman,
you stink so bad
I can smell you from here!
P.U.!
PYQW, pyew, pyew!
(GRUNTING)
(GASPS)
(LAUGHING)
Yea-haw'.!
(GASPS)
Justice is served hot, Batman!
You're going to melt
just like a grilled cheese sandwich.
(BELL RINGING)
(JOKER EXCLAIMS)
Justice will be served, Joker.
Service with a smile?
Clean up your act, Joker.
Oh, that's a joke, right?
Batman finally told a joke.
(LAUGHING)
(GASPS)
(SCREAMING)
Batman! You wouldn't let me fry,
would you?
Batman!
I've taken eight showers
and I still feel soiled.
Ugh! I've never seen so much garbage.
What's wrong, Alfred?
Aren't you feeling better?
"What's wrong," sir?
I destroy a priceless Ming vase,
and you ask me what's wrong?
Don't worry about it.
I'll just take it out of your salary
for the next couple of years.
Very well, sir.
Alfred.
April Fool's. (LAUGHS)
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
English - SDH
(SNIFFING)
Ew! P.U.!
Of all the disgusting...
(LAUGHING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
-(CAR HORN HONKS)
-(CONTINUES LAUGHING)
Hey!
Look out, you crazy...
(BOTH LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)
Ouch!
Rough night of crime-fighting, sir?
Very-
Well, you'll be happy to know
I've drawn you a bath.
Whenever you're ready.
What's the deal, Alfred?
I said I "drew" you a bath, sir.
April Fool's.
Very funny, Alfred.
I guess I'll just take a shower.
Not a funny bone in his entire body.
Alfred, hit the radio, would you?
Right away, sir.
REPORTER'. Traffic is at a standstill
on the Gotham expressway
where a trailer full of eggs
has overturned. This just in.
The Gotham police are investigating
a series of near-fatal accidents
along the riverfront.
Initial reports indicate
that hundreds of Gothamites
have inexplicably begun acting
like total laughing fools.
More details as they become available.
Sounds like a rather
dirty April Fools' prank.
Sounds like the Joker.
REPORTER: (OVER RADIO) At this hour,
Gotham City is in the grip of insanity.
Everywhere, people
are turning into lunatics.
The latest reports say that the wave
of foolish hysteria
is moving down 7th Avenue towards...
Towards the financial district.
(REPORTER LAUGHING)
That's my cue.
JOKER: Uh-huh. Hmm...
(CHUCKLES) Perfect.
Now, everybody,
remember where we parked.
When the going gets tough,
the tough go shopping.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
(ALL LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)
(LAUGHING CONTINUES)
Who says crime doesn't pay?
Now, this is what I call
a sidewalk sale.
(DEVICE WHIRRING)
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Airborne gas emanating
from riverfront district.
Analysis, lengthy exposure to the gas
will result in permanent insanity.
BATMAN: Alfred, I left
the hex key upstairs in the den.
Would you bring it down?
ALFRED: Oh, go fetch it yourself.
(BLOWING RASPBERRIES)
Very funny, Alfred,
but I've no time to play.
(GLASS BREAKING)
Alfred? Alfred!
(ALFRED LAUGHING IN DISTANCE)
Just a little spring cleaning, sir.
(ALFRED CONTINUES LAUGHING)
(COUGHING)
The gas!
(INHALES)
Oh!
(VASE SHATTERS)
I believe I've contracted
a giant case of the giggles.
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Lengthy exposure to the gas
will result in permanent insanity.
(ALL LAUGHING)
REPORTER: Okay, let's shoot it.
This place is giving me the creeps.
I'm here in downtown Gotham
where corporate CEOs
have gone stark raving mad.
It would appear that the collapse
of the stock market is now imminent.
The question is,
Will April Fools' Day mark the end
of Gotham City as we know it?
The only things gaining now
are the laughing stocks.
(LAUGHS)
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
(GRUMBLES)
(JOKER GROANING)
Huh? Ah!
(YELP$)
(GROANS)
(BEEPING)
Look who's come to trash the place.
A fitting setting for you, Joker.
Ooh, I just love to get down and dirty.
Okay, boys,
it's playtime!
HENCHMAN 1: It's about time.
HENCHMAN 2: What are we waiting for?
(SCREAMING)
(YELLS)
Batman, you're a real party pooper.
Why don't you take your mask off
and have a few laughs?
(LAUGHING)
Cut the clowning, Joker.
(ENGINE REVVING)
Get him.
(BATMAN GROANS)
(ARMS WHIRRING MECHANICALLY)
Tsk-tsk. You shouldn't have made
Captain Clown mad.
Time to take out the garbage!
(PANTING)
I just love these new Ziploc seals.
We wouldn't want our little
caged rodent to suffocate,
so we'll just punch some air holes.
(LAUGHING)
Okay, Captain, give it the old heave-ho.
Oops! Looks like our air holes
are water holes too.
What a shame!
(LAUGHING CONTINUES)
I never knew Batman could sink so low.
Well, Captain, this could be the start
of a beautiful friendship.
(LAUGHING)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(INHALES DEEPLY)
(DEVICE CHIRPS)
(BEEPING)
(PANTING)
You want to play dirty, Joker?
Get ready, boys. Here it comes.
This will give those April fools
a lot more smiles per gallon. (LAUGHS)
(BOTH GROAN)
What are you fools... Batman!
(GRUNTING)
(GROANS)
(GROANS AND BREATHES HEAVILY)
(LAUGHING)
(GRUMBLING)
(LAUGHING)
(WHIRRING)
JOKER: Hey, Batman!
Looks like Captain Clown
is really getting attached to you.
(STRAINING)
(BATMAN GRUNTING)
(SIGHS)
(GRUNTS)
You killed Captain Clown.
You killed Captain Clown!
Just for that, Batman...
(GROANS)
Hey, Batman,
you stink so bad
I can smell you from here!
P.U.!
PYQW, pyew, pyew!
(GRUNTING)
(GASPS)
(LAUGHING)
Yea-haw'.!
(GASPS)
Justice is served hot, Batman!
You're going to melt
just like a grilled cheese sandwich.
(BELL RINGING)
(JOKER EXCLAIMS)
Justice will be served, Joker.
Service with a smile?
Clean up your act, Joker.
Oh, that's a joke, right?
Batman finally told a joke.
(LAUGHING)
(GASPS)
(SCREAMING)
Batman! You wouldn't let me fry,
would you?
Batman!
I've taken eight showers
and I still feel soiled.
Ugh! I've never seen so much garbage.
What's wrong, Alfred?
Aren't you feeling better?
"What's wrong," sir?
I destroy a priceless Ming vase,
and you ask me what's wrong?
Don't worry about it.
I'll just take it out of your salary
for the next couple of years.
Very well, sir.
Alfred.
April Fool's. (LAUGHS)
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
English - SDH