Batman: The Animated Series (1992–1995): Season 1, Episode 1 - The Cat and the Claw Part I - full transcript

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(LOUD SNORES)

Now, Isis, my sweet.

(YAWNS)

Perfect, my love.

Let's go home.

So, our new cat burglar is a woman.

Hmm. Probably my imagination.

Probably not.

(YOWLS)

(HISSING)



Magnificent.

I suggest you save the flattery
for the judge.

So long, Dark Knight.

BATMAN: Drop in anytime.

(YOWLS)

You're too kind.

(YELLS)

(HISSES)

I'll have to try and trim those claws.

(GRUNTS)

- TIRES SCREECH
- (YOWLS)

Left you behind, did she?

(INAUDIBLE)

(MEOWS)



(WHISTLES)

Thanks for the memento.

Next, we 'II be auctioning off a date

with Gotham 's most eligible bachelor,

- Mr. Bruce Wayne!
- (CROWD MURMURING)

Uh, if Mr. Wayne would be
good enough to step up.

Now, now, don't be shy.

Ah, there he is.

-Oh, Bruce!
-l'm so happy to see you.

Where've you been?

-You look handsome.
-You look wonderful.

Ooh! Have I missed you.

I've been pinching my pennies for you.

Uh... Excuse me, ladies.

Remember, we 'Ve got
lots of animals to save,

so we 're going to start the bidding
at $500.

-Five hundred.
-Six hundred.

We have six. Do I hear seven?

-Seven hundred.
-Eight.

One thousand.

Well, well.

That's 1,000.

Going once, going twice...

SELINA: $10,000.

(PEOPLE GASPING)

(CROWD WHISPERING)

Uh, do I hear any more bids?

Then sold, for $10,000, to...

Ms. Selina Kyle.

Oh, wow.

I've never seen her before.

Rumor has it she's a wildlife nut.

She's supposed to be sponsoring
a mountain lion preserve outside Gotham.

It's a pleasure.

Thank you.

(WOMAN CLEARS THROAT)

Uh, Mr. Wayne, my secretary, Maven.

How do you do?

Uh... Please. "Bruce."

I'm very flattered.

Please understand,
it's purely for the animals, Mr. Wayne.

You're off the hook.

But you're not.

I beg your pardon?

You bought a date,

and I'm honor-bound,
and delighted to deliver.

I warn you,
I'm not a man who gives up easily.

All right. Lunch, then.

(GUNSHOTS)

(POLICE SIRENS BLARING)

I wonder what's going on

Oh! Where'd he go?

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(SIRENS APPROACHING)

Watch yourselves, men.
These guys are crazy.

-Thanks, friend.
-BATMAN: What's going down?

This morning, I get a warning
from the Feds.

Red Claw is in Gotham.

Now, this.

-Any leads?
-Nothing.

Red Claw is the most ruthless
terrorist leader in the world.

And we don't even have
a picture of the guy.

I'll see what I can do from my end.

Good. There's no telling
what they're up to.

Nothing is safe
with these savages in town.

Aren't you even a little excited
about your date?

I mean, Bruce Wayne
is tall, dark and disgustingly rich.

I'd rather it were Batman.

(SIGHS)

You should have seen him, Maven.

He had the eyes of a lion.

(DOORBELL BUZZES)

Yes?

MAN: A Mr. Bruce Wayne is on his way up.

Here we go.

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

Come on, Selina,
at least he's a good connection.

You might be able to use him.

-HeHo?
-SELINA: Yes, I know.

I suppose you're right.

Still, I wish it were Batman
standing behind this door.

Bruce, how wonderful to see you.

Please, come in.

You're even more stunning
than I remember.

I'll just put these in some water.

Selina, it's your lawyer.

He says the deal is off.

What?

Give me that.

Martin, what happened?

That's ridiculous.
You tell him I want to meet with him!

No, today! He can't sell to Multigon!
We had an agreement!

-Uh, nice flowers.
-What's going on?

Selina was negotiating for land
for a wildlife preserve.

Some cartel just muscled her
out of the deal.

SELINA: What do you mean
he won't take your calls?

You go there,
and kick down the door if you have to!

I want that land for the mountain lions.

(SIGHS WEARILY)

I'm afraid I'm not going to be
very good company.

-ls there anything I can do?
-Not really.

Unless you can get me a meeting

with the chairman
of Multigon International.

What time's good for you?

Hey, I'm starting to like this guy.

Really, Wayne,
I do wish there was something

I could do for you
and your lovely friend,

but the deal is quite set.

(PLAYING TUNE)

You see, we're committed
to building a major resort.

Golf course, tennis courts,

bocce ball, the whole shot.

Thafsinsane!

The land is in the middle of nowhere.
It's worthless except to wildcats.

My dear, you just don't understand
development potential.

As for the cats,

Multigon will take care of them.

One way or another.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I've given you all the time I can spare.

Oh, you'll find
more time for me, Mr. Stern!

Before I'm through,
I'll have every environmental group

and animal rights activist
breathing down your neck.

They'll be looking at you,
and your project, so closely,

you'll feel like a bug in a bell jar.

Have a nice day.

I'm afraid
that Selina Kyle may be trouble.

We've come too far
to have our plans jeopardized

by some environmental fanatic.

Have someone keep an eye on Ms. Kyle.

I'm afraid
I wasn't much help after all.

Well, at least now
I know what their cover story is.

You know, it's awfully late for lunch.

Would you mind
if I took a rain check on our date?

Please?

Okay.

-Tomorrow?
-Thanks.

That'll give me time
to take care of some business tonight.

Actually, I plan to work late myself.

And so, boys,

we got to increase our cut
in the gambling operations.

Anybody got a problem with that?

(GASPS)

(GRUNTS)

Back off, boys.

I want a word with your boss.

But you can listen.

What do you want?

What do you know about Red Claw?

Why are you asking us?
We're no terrorists.

You're still scum.

And you hear things I don't.

I want Red Claw.

And until I get him,

I'm going to lean extra hard on you,
and all the other mob bosses.

If you think
I've been bad news before...

I get the picture.
I'll see what I can do.

If Stern won't admit
what's going on,

we'll have to find out for ourselves.

Despite our loss of arms,

thanks to Batman's interference,

we're going to proceed
according to plan.

(DOOR OPENS)

Tomorrow at 2300 hours,

a train under military escort
will pass through Gotham.

It will be transporting
a strain of viral plague

that Interpol confiscated
from our eastern laboratories.

I cannot overemphasize the importance
of that plague to our cause.

CATWOMAN: All clear?

(MEOWS)

I believe Beethoven's
Ode to Joy will do the trick.

(PLAYING TUNE)

Remind me to thank Mama
for the piano lessons.

(CONTINUES PLAYING TUNE)

(MEOWS)

(YOWLS)

Outstanding.

We'll hit the train
outside the city, at this point.

(ALARMS BEEPING)

What is that?

A cat at the end of its nine lives.

Let's go.

(MEOWING)

All right, I'm done.

(DOOR RATTLES)

She's in the ventilation system.

I think we're in over our heads.

Ow, ow, ow!

Ah!

(MEOWS LOUDLY)

CATWOMAN: Detour.

THUG: She's down here! Hurry!

Going up.

Hang on, Isis.

Isis, jump!

(SCREAMS)

My hero.

That was for saving my cat.

Is that all it was for?

-Maybe not.
-I heard gunfire.

Occupational hazard.

Let's keep the mystery.

If I don't unmask you, the police will.

PoHce?

Don't be silly.

You can't deny
there's something between us.

You're right.

And I'm afraid it's the law.

I'm sorry.

Never trifle
with the affections of a woman.

Until next time.

And there will be a next time.

(RUSTLING)

Oh. Tough night?

It had its ups and downs.

But I did get pictures
of the fun family-resort site.

It looks like there's some kind of

abandoned military facility,
underground.

Very interesting.

(OVER HEADPHONES)
We may save those mountain lions yet.

But who is going to save you?

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

English - SDH