Batman (1966–1968): Season 1, Episode 28 - The Pharaoh's in a Rut - full transcript
Bruce frees himself just before the cart he is riding goes over a cliff. As Batman, he works to bring King Tut to justice. But the hero is captured by King Tut instead. Batman is then tortured as King Tut drops a pebble on his head at a time. Robin works to track Batman in time.
So far we have
seen a giant sphinx...
a strange and terrible
threat to Gotham City...
Batman and Robin on the job...
while a criminal king and his
entourage hatch a fiendish plan.
The dynamic duo
tackle the sinister sphinx.
A close shave.
Signals from Nefertiti.
King Tut's curse.
The dynamic duo
on Nefertiti's trail.
A tricky asp.
A king-sized mummy come alive.
A royal trap snapped shut.
Bruce in a blanket.
And another dish.
A proclamation.
And an exclamation.
Batman to the rescue?
A daring escape.
And a runaway stretcher.
Great Scott, Bruce.
Meanwhile in the secret
palace of King Tut...
on the outskirts
of Gotham City...
the evil geniuses are all unaware
that their victim has escaped.
Hey, what's the big idea?
I wish to peruse the news.
There should be something
about the Bruce Wayne kidnapping.
Ladies and gentlemen, with Gotham City still
reeling from the great sphinx mystery...
another shocking blow was
landed when Bruce Wayne...
philanthropist, millionaire about
town, was kidnapped in broad daylight.
You know that. Switch
back to the sports.
For the latest development
in this fast-moving story...
we switch to Mobile Unit 5, stationed
at Gotham City Police Headquarters.
Come in, Commissioner Gordon.
For the latest word on the
Bruce Wayne kidnapping...
I'm proud to present my never-failing
aide in the war against crime...
the one and only Batman.
Thank you, commissioner.
I'd like to assure Mr. Bruce Wayne's
many friends and associates...
that he is unharmed and
will soon be returned home.
What?
Batman?
He turns me on.
Nefertiti, we could
have you filleted for that.
But he's so handsome
and clean-cut and groovy.
We forbid you to speak
well of our deadliest enemy.
Astonishing news, Batman,
but how do you know all this?
Because I myself rescued Mr. Wayne
not more than 10 minutes ago.
It's a trick.
You're lying, Batman.
Where are my ministers?
What's happened to
those ninnies? Mm?
In your expert
opinion, Batman...
what's behind all these
mysterious occurrences?
In my expert opinion,
commissioner...
we're seeing the dust of
centuries blown away...
with a monstrous revival of
a strange and ancient cult.
It's unearthly.
Perhaps. I'll know more...
after I've delved into the secret archives
of the antiquarian library at Alexandria.
Alexandria? Oh, you mean that
delightful suburb of Washington, D.C.?
No, commissioner,
Alexandria, Egypt.
That ancient metropolis at
the mouth of the River Nile.
You're leaving for Egypt?
By the first available jet.
I have vital
researches to perform.
But, great Scott, Batman, what will
become of us during your absence?
Who will balk the criminal schemes of
this madman who calls himself King Tut?
I pass the Egyptian ball to
you, commissioner. In my...
Call me a madman, does he?
Well, let's face it, Tut-Tut.
Face what, sweet,
lovely Nefertiti?
In the old days when you
were professor at Yale...
before you got conked on
the head in the student riot...
No!
Royal torturers...
servants of the fierce jackal
god, Anubis, to my bidding ho!
Seize my subversive queen.
To the dungeons with her.
No, no, no!
No!
Mad, am I?
Well, you'll see.
While Batman is bouncing
around in belfries in far-off Egypt...
I'll do what I set
out to do before...
abduct Bruce Wayne.
Holy travel agent, Batman,
are you really going to Egypt?
Of course not, Robin. It's merely
a clever stratagem I've worked out.
I've a hunch King Tut will make
another effort to kidnap Bruce Wayne.
I get it, and we'll
foil him, huh?
On the contrary.
I wish him to succeed.
What? You're gonna let
yourself be kidnapped?
Yes, Robin.
Yes and no.
Before today's dark deeds unfold, I
want Aunt Harriet safely out of the way.
Get on the phone.
Call the house upstairs.
Goodbye, Alfred.
Now, be sure Dick gets his warm
milk before retiring, won't you?
You may rest
assured of it, madam.
Just imagine, Alfred, a
weekend in the country.
Oh, it's going to be
such a delightful change.
Well, I'd better run so the
taxi man won't grow impatient.
Gosh, Batman, that's sure a
lifelike dummy of Bruce Wayne.
It should serve the purpose.
Deception and double deception.
The only way to deal with
a super-criminal like Tut.
Alfred?
Oh, Alfred, have you seen the
novel I've been reading anywhere?
Well, no, madam, I... I...
Oh, of course, I left it
on the table by the sofa.
Mrs. Cooper. Shh.
Oh.
Sweet dreams, Bruce dear.
Phew.
Holy taxidermy.
That dummy sure passed the test.
Indeed, Robin, cum laude.
It's time to get set, Robin.
It's almost oda wabba simba.
- Almost what?
- Oda wabba simba.
Six o'clock in our nomenclature.
In the 14th dynasty,
the hour of the hyena.
The time when ancient Egyptian
super-criminals invariably struck.
Gosh, Batman. Is there
anything you don't know?
Oh, yes, Robin.
Several things, in fact.
All prepared, sir.
Now the hyenas are at the gate.
Who knows what
form they'll take, Alfred.
- Can I be of any assistance to you?
- Sure you can.
I've been sent over by the
chief to watch over Mr. Wayne...
in case those devilish kidnappers
should try to strike again.
Ah, yes, a wise precaution,
officer. If you'll follow me.
As you observe, the master is enjoying
a moment's respite from the day's cares.
Would that we all
might enjoy such fortune.
Don't worry, buster.
It can be arranged.
Extraordinary how
that anti-gas pill works.
Shh! No more talk.
Quick, take him
to the royal bark.
Wow, worked like a charm. Batman
figured every move they'd make.
I never doubted that he
would, Master Robin. What now?
We track them on the
Batscanner to their criminal hideout.
Quick, Alfred, you go to the service
elevator, I'll meet you in the Batcave.
Roger.
- Commissioner, this is Robin.
- Yes, Boy Wonder?
A-okay, commissioner.
They've got Bruce Wayne.
- Only it's really Batman, right?
- Right.
Heartwarming indeed, Boy Wonder, the way a
distinguished millionaire like Bruce Wayne...
cooperates in the fight against crime. Not
all millionaires would be so self-sacrificing.
I'll tell him you said
so, commissioner.
- In the meantime, stand by with your full force.
- Tracking the criminals, are you?
Signals from the tiny homing transmitter
in Batman's cowl are coming in perfectly.
I'll call you as soon as I get
a fix on King Tut's hideout.
Bless you, Boy Wonder. Chief
O'Hara and I will stay by the Batphone.
Look at them, Alfred,
tracking perfectly.
Those poor, demented felons.
How little do they want that
they have a tiger by the tail?
- Peculiar.
- What?
Message of Anubis
interprets itself as follows:
"What seems is not. Inside its bonds,
the leopard has changed its spots."
- Nutty.
- Yeah.
But then on the other hand...
there's no extra
charge for making sure.
Not a blip, cold as a cucumber.
Could it be a defect in
the receiver, Master Robin?
Quick, activate the
emergency back-up receivers.
Roger.
Emergency system at full gain.
Holy hi-fi. Something's
gone wrong.
Tick, tock.
Tick, tock.
Enjoying yourself, Batman?
The dreaded ancient
Theban pebble torture.
- You pitiable madman.
- Tick, tock.
Chief torturer, what's the pebble
count on my faithless ex-queen?
Nine hundred and
one, oh, great pharaoh.
Nine hundred and one. Good.
Less than a hundred to go...
and then she'll smash herself to pieces
trying to tear herself out of her jar.
- Tock.
- In the name of mercy...
think back to the days when you were a
distinguished professor at Yale University.
Give yourself up.
I vow that you'll receive
the finest medical attention.
Chief torturer, ho, what's
the pebble count on Batman?
Two hundred ninety-seven,
oh, great pharaoh.
Speed it up.
Alfred, if we ever had need
of our brain power, it's now.
Here are the last
four fixes we've got.
The problem is to
extrapolate them.
Project them to the
criminal's putative destination.
Correct, and if we extend their azimuth
like this, correcting for one-way streets...
How peculiar, it leads us to this
vacant area at coordinates 47 to 61.
Wait a minute.
Coordinates 47 to 61.
Holy false front, the fake Egyptian palace
from last year's Gotham City exposition.
Robin speaking.
We just had a
message, Boy Wonder.
King Tut is holding
Batman in a secret hideout.
He will exchange him for $1 million in cash
to be delivered personally by Bruce Wayne.
- Think it's on the level, commissioner?
- I do.
But unfortunately I can't
get ahold of Bruce Wayne.
There's no answer
at his mansion.
Don't worry, I'm on my way
to find him right this second.
Goodbye, commissioner.
Are you sure that was
prudent, Master Robin?
What, Alfred?
Well, we're pretty certain of the
whereabouts of King Tut's hideout.
Should we not have informed
the police and requested their aid?
I didn't dare chance it.
They're great guys, Alfred, but
they can be heavy-handed too.
And when those
fiends have Batman...
I follow your thinking.
The rude intrusion
of the police...
might have provoked the criminals
to some unhappy act of violence.
Right, Alfred. This one
we've gotta pull ourselves.
- To the Batmobile.
- To the Batmobile?
But you don't have a
license to drive, Master Robin.
But you do.
Me?
Twinkle, twinkle, little bat.
How I wonder where you're at?
Chief torturer, what's
the latest pebble count?
Coming down now, mighty
pharaoh, number 1000.
Bring them to my throne room.
Let it be a warning,
loyal subjects.
Our enemies shall be reduced
even as these to mindless slaves.
Smash open their cases.
Dance, you slaves.
Dance for our amusement.
Music. Bat-music.
Seize him.
Thought you'd unhinged
me, did you? I fooled you.
I kept my reason by reciting the
multiplication tables backwards.
Hold on, Batman. I'm with you.
Where's King Tut?
Looks like he's gone, Batman.
We'd better net him fast.
The Batmobile, it's gone.
Alfred, old fellow.
Are you all right?
Most remiss of me, sir.
I let that ruffian overpower me.
Only one thing to do, pursue
him in this curious royal bark.
Visual contact established.
Roger, V.C.
If he cuts in the super power
afterburner, we'll never keep up.
Holy smoke. What do
we do now, Batman?
Quick, hand me your tiny utility
belt transmitter. My own's disabled.
I get it. You're gonna try the remote control
Batmobile's circuit via Batcave relay link.
Right, Robin. It's our only
chance. Batman to Batcave.
Voice-control Batmobile
relay-circuit, switch on.
Batmobile ejection seat, fire.
What the heck?
The failure signal.
- Circuit's on the blink, I'm afraid.
- How can it be?
Human mechanisms are
made by human hands, Robin.
None of them is infallible. It's
a lesson which must be faced.
- Hey, look.
- It's coming back at us.
What the heck?
Look out, he's
found the Batbeam.
Hurry!
Farewell.
We rid Thebes
forever of its rodents.
Holy skyrocket.
He hit the Batbeam button and
the ejector seat went off. Heck.
Wah...
Well hit, sir.
Gosh, and to think he was once a
famous professor at Yale University.
That's life, Robin,
full of ups and downs.
It ill befits any of us
to grow too confident.
A tragic case, Batman.
One of the saddest which
has ever crossed my ken.
- There may be hope for him yet.
- How?
- With proper treatment...
- Our mental institutions...
are hopelessly overcrowded. The
taxpayers are blind to our pleas.
What about the Wayne Foundation?
Gosh, yes. That's a
great idea, Batman.
But do you think Mr. Wayne will go
for it after being kidnapped by this devil?
Chief O'Hara...
I understand that Mr. Bruce Wayne is a
man of great understanding and compassion.
I'll phone Bruce Wayne instantly
and ask him to come over here.
- Aah!
- Oh, watch out. He's waking up.
I have... I must rid...
Young gentlemen
rioting is not going...
Be careful. Ooh!
Oh.
What an amazing dream.
- I must be late for class.
- Late for class?
Yes. Egyptology 7 me...
Oh, my.
What is this?
A miracle, professor.
Simply a miracle.
Oh.
Oh, whatever will the dean say?
seen a giant sphinx...
a strange and terrible
threat to Gotham City...
Batman and Robin on the job...
while a criminal king and his
entourage hatch a fiendish plan.
The dynamic duo
tackle the sinister sphinx.
A close shave.
Signals from Nefertiti.
King Tut's curse.
The dynamic duo
on Nefertiti's trail.
A tricky asp.
A king-sized mummy come alive.
A royal trap snapped shut.
Bruce in a blanket.
And another dish.
A proclamation.
And an exclamation.
Batman to the rescue?
A daring escape.
And a runaway stretcher.
Great Scott, Bruce.
Meanwhile in the secret
palace of King Tut...
on the outskirts
of Gotham City...
the evil geniuses are all unaware
that their victim has escaped.
Hey, what's the big idea?
I wish to peruse the news.
There should be something
about the Bruce Wayne kidnapping.
Ladies and gentlemen, with Gotham City still
reeling from the great sphinx mystery...
another shocking blow was
landed when Bruce Wayne...
philanthropist, millionaire about
town, was kidnapped in broad daylight.
You know that. Switch
back to the sports.
For the latest development
in this fast-moving story...
we switch to Mobile Unit 5, stationed
at Gotham City Police Headquarters.
Come in, Commissioner Gordon.
For the latest word on the
Bruce Wayne kidnapping...
I'm proud to present my never-failing
aide in the war against crime...
the one and only Batman.
Thank you, commissioner.
I'd like to assure Mr. Bruce Wayne's
many friends and associates...
that he is unharmed and
will soon be returned home.
What?
Batman?
He turns me on.
Nefertiti, we could
have you filleted for that.
But he's so handsome
and clean-cut and groovy.
We forbid you to speak
well of our deadliest enemy.
Astonishing news, Batman,
but how do you know all this?
Because I myself rescued Mr. Wayne
not more than 10 minutes ago.
It's a trick.
You're lying, Batman.
Where are my ministers?
What's happened to
those ninnies? Mm?
In your expert
opinion, Batman...
what's behind all these
mysterious occurrences?
In my expert opinion,
commissioner...
we're seeing the dust of
centuries blown away...
with a monstrous revival of
a strange and ancient cult.
It's unearthly.
Perhaps. I'll know more...
after I've delved into the secret archives
of the antiquarian library at Alexandria.
Alexandria? Oh, you mean that
delightful suburb of Washington, D.C.?
No, commissioner,
Alexandria, Egypt.
That ancient metropolis at
the mouth of the River Nile.
You're leaving for Egypt?
By the first available jet.
I have vital
researches to perform.
But, great Scott, Batman, what will
become of us during your absence?
Who will balk the criminal schemes of
this madman who calls himself King Tut?
I pass the Egyptian ball to
you, commissioner. In my...
Call me a madman, does he?
Well, let's face it, Tut-Tut.
Face what, sweet,
lovely Nefertiti?
In the old days when you
were professor at Yale...
before you got conked on
the head in the student riot...
No!
Royal torturers...
servants of the fierce jackal
god, Anubis, to my bidding ho!
Seize my subversive queen.
To the dungeons with her.
No, no, no!
No!
Mad, am I?
Well, you'll see.
While Batman is bouncing
around in belfries in far-off Egypt...
I'll do what I set
out to do before...
abduct Bruce Wayne.
Holy travel agent, Batman,
are you really going to Egypt?
Of course not, Robin. It's merely
a clever stratagem I've worked out.
I've a hunch King Tut will make
another effort to kidnap Bruce Wayne.
I get it, and we'll
foil him, huh?
On the contrary.
I wish him to succeed.
What? You're gonna let
yourself be kidnapped?
Yes, Robin.
Yes and no.
Before today's dark deeds unfold, I
want Aunt Harriet safely out of the way.
Get on the phone.
Call the house upstairs.
Goodbye, Alfred.
Now, be sure Dick gets his warm
milk before retiring, won't you?
You may rest
assured of it, madam.
Just imagine, Alfred, a
weekend in the country.
Oh, it's going to be
such a delightful change.
Well, I'd better run so the
taxi man won't grow impatient.
Gosh, Batman, that's sure a
lifelike dummy of Bruce Wayne.
It should serve the purpose.
Deception and double deception.
The only way to deal with
a super-criminal like Tut.
Alfred?
Oh, Alfred, have you seen the
novel I've been reading anywhere?
Well, no, madam, I... I...
Oh, of course, I left it
on the table by the sofa.
Mrs. Cooper. Shh.
Oh.
Sweet dreams, Bruce dear.
Phew.
Holy taxidermy.
That dummy sure passed the test.
Indeed, Robin, cum laude.
It's time to get set, Robin.
It's almost oda wabba simba.
- Almost what?
- Oda wabba simba.
Six o'clock in our nomenclature.
In the 14th dynasty,
the hour of the hyena.
The time when ancient Egyptian
super-criminals invariably struck.
Gosh, Batman. Is there
anything you don't know?
Oh, yes, Robin.
Several things, in fact.
All prepared, sir.
Now the hyenas are at the gate.
Who knows what
form they'll take, Alfred.
- Can I be of any assistance to you?
- Sure you can.
I've been sent over by the
chief to watch over Mr. Wayne...
in case those devilish kidnappers
should try to strike again.
Ah, yes, a wise precaution,
officer. If you'll follow me.
As you observe, the master is enjoying
a moment's respite from the day's cares.
Would that we all
might enjoy such fortune.
Don't worry, buster.
It can be arranged.
Extraordinary how
that anti-gas pill works.
Shh! No more talk.
Quick, take him
to the royal bark.
Wow, worked like a charm. Batman
figured every move they'd make.
I never doubted that he
would, Master Robin. What now?
We track them on the
Batscanner to their criminal hideout.
Quick, Alfred, you go to the service
elevator, I'll meet you in the Batcave.
Roger.
- Commissioner, this is Robin.
- Yes, Boy Wonder?
A-okay, commissioner.
They've got Bruce Wayne.
- Only it's really Batman, right?
- Right.
Heartwarming indeed, Boy Wonder, the way a
distinguished millionaire like Bruce Wayne...
cooperates in the fight against crime. Not
all millionaires would be so self-sacrificing.
I'll tell him you said
so, commissioner.
- In the meantime, stand by with your full force.
- Tracking the criminals, are you?
Signals from the tiny homing transmitter
in Batman's cowl are coming in perfectly.
I'll call you as soon as I get
a fix on King Tut's hideout.
Bless you, Boy Wonder. Chief
O'Hara and I will stay by the Batphone.
Look at them, Alfred,
tracking perfectly.
Those poor, demented felons.
How little do they want that
they have a tiger by the tail?
- Peculiar.
- What?
Message of Anubis
interprets itself as follows:
"What seems is not. Inside its bonds,
the leopard has changed its spots."
- Nutty.
- Yeah.
But then on the other hand...
there's no extra
charge for making sure.
Not a blip, cold as a cucumber.
Could it be a defect in
the receiver, Master Robin?
Quick, activate the
emergency back-up receivers.
Roger.
Emergency system at full gain.
Holy hi-fi. Something's
gone wrong.
Tick, tock.
Tick, tock.
Enjoying yourself, Batman?
The dreaded ancient
Theban pebble torture.
- You pitiable madman.
- Tick, tock.
Chief torturer, what's the pebble
count on my faithless ex-queen?
Nine hundred and
one, oh, great pharaoh.
Nine hundred and one. Good.
Less than a hundred to go...
and then she'll smash herself to pieces
trying to tear herself out of her jar.
- Tock.
- In the name of mercy...
think back to the days when you were a
distinguished professor at Yale University.
Give yourself up.
I vow that you'll receive
the finest medical attention.
Chief torturer, ho, what's
the pebble count on Batman?
Two hundred ninety-seven,
oh, great pharaoh.
Speed it up.
Alfred, if we ever had need
of our brain power, it's now.
Here are the last
four fixes we've got.
The problem is to
extrapolate them.
Project them to the
criminal's putative destination.
Correct, and if we extend their azimuth
like this, correcting for one-way streets...
How peculiar, it leads us to this
vacant area at coordinates 47 to 61.
Wait a minute.
Coordinates 47 to 61.
Holy false front, the fake Egyptian palace
from last year's Gotham City exposition.
Robin speaking.
We just had a
message, Boy Wonder.
King Tut is holding
Batman in a secret hideout.
He will exchange him for $1 million in cash
to be delivered personally by Bruce Wayne.
- Think it's on the level, commissioner?
- I do.
But unfortunately I can't
get ahold of Bruce Wayne.
There's no answer
at his mansion.
Don't worry, I'm on my way
to find him right this second.
Goodbye, commissioner.
Are you sure that was
prudent, Master Robin?
What, Alfred?
Well, we're pretty certain of the
whereabouts of King Tut's hideout.
Should we not have informed
the police and requested their aid?
I didn't dare chance it.
They're great guys, Alfred, but
they can be heavy-handed too.
And when those
fiends have Batman...
I follow your thinking.
The rude intrusion
of the police...
might have provoked the criminals
to some unhappy act of violence.
Right, Alfred. This one
we've gotta pull ourselves.
- To the Batmobile.
- To the Batmobile?
But you don't have a
license to drive, Master Robin.
But you do.
Me?
Twinkle, twinkle, little bat.
How I wonder where you're at?
Chief torturer, what's
the latest pebble count?
Coming down now, mighty
pharaoh, number 1000.
Bring them to my throne room.
Let it be a warning,
loyal subjects.
Our enemies shall be reduced
even as these to mindless slaves.
Smash open their cases.
Dance, you slaves.
Dance for our amusement.
Music. Bat-music.
Seize him.
Thought you'd unhinged
me, did you? I fooled you.
I kept my reason by reciting the
multiplication tables backwards.
Hold on, Batman. I'm with you.
Where's King Tut?
Looks like he's gone, Batman.
We'd better net him fast.
The Batmobile, it's gone.
Alfred, old fellow.
Are you all right?
Most remiss of me, sir.
I let that ruffian overpower me.
Only one thing to do, pursue
him in this curious royal bark.
Visual contact established.
Roger, V.C.
If he cuts in the super power
afterburner, we'll never keep up.
Holy smoke. What do
we do now, Batman?
Quick, hand me your tiny utility
belt transmitter. My own's disabled.
I get it. You're gonna try the remote control
Batmobile's circuit via Batcave relay link.
Right, Robin. It's our only
chance. Batman to Batcave.
Voice-control Batmobile
relay-circuit, switch on.
Batmobile ejection seat, fire.
What the heck?
The failure signal.
- Circuit's on the blink, I'm afraid.
- How can it be?
Human mechanisms are
made by human hands, Robin.
None of them is infallible. It's
a lesson which must be faced.
- Hey, look.
- It's coming back at us.
What the heck?
Look out, he's
found the Batbeam.
Hurry!
Farewell.
We rid Thebes
forever of its rodents.
Holy skyrocket.
He hit the Batbeam button and
the ejector seat went off. Heck.
Wah...
Well hit, sir.
Gosh, and to think he was once a
famous professor at Yale University.
That's life, Robin,
full of ups and downs.
It ill befits any of us
to grow too confident.
A tragic case, Batman.
One of the saddest which
has ever crossed my ken.
- There may be hope for him yet.
- How?
- With proper treatment...
- Our mental institutions...
are hopelessly overcrowded. The
taxpayers are blind to our pleas.
What about the Wayne Foundation?
Gosh, yes. That's a
great idea, Batman.
But do you think Mr. Wayne will go
for it after being kidnapped by this devil?
Chief O'Hara...
I understand that Mr. Bruce Wayne is a
man of great understanding and compassion.
I'll phone Bruce Wayne instantly
and ask him to come over here.
- Aah!
- Oh, watch out. He's waking up.
I have... I must rid...
Young gentlemen
rioting is not going...
Be careful. Ooh!
Oh.
What an amazing dream.
- I must be late for class.
- Late for class?
Yes. Egyptology 7 me...
Oh, my.
What is this?
A miracle, professor.
Simply a miracle.
Oh.
Oh, whatever will the dean say?