Baskets (2016–…): Season 4, Episode 8 - Grandma's Day - full transcript

Chip wants a life plan, while the Baskets Family Rodeo gets a bureaucratic surprise.

You are an important adult

with an impressive life.

Maybe I should
return to clowning,

you know, as a, as a hobby.

I'll change this into
a housewarming party, honey.

Well, if there's no wedding,
there's no wedding gift.

You'd be getting
in on the ground floor

of a really great investment.

Especially in seven
to nine years from now,

when the bullet train's


All right, Lynn,

you ready to get
this thing rolling?

To whom it may concern,

if you find yourself
in receipt of this letter,

you are in ownership
of property or acreage

along the official route

of California's new
high-speed rail system.

Please find the enclosed map

illustrating the
state-sanctioned land seizures

to execute this project.

You will be compensated

for your property
at competitive market pricing.

I'm the captain
of my own ship...



Hey, Marcus.

You scared me.

I just need you
to sign right there.

Yes, sir. Um...

I don't have a ship.

I was just doing
affirmation stuff.


- Thank you.
- Yeah. Thank you.

"You are in ownership
of property

"along the official route
of California's

new high-speed rail system."


"You will be compensated
for your property

at competitive market pricing."

Oh, God.

Season 04 Episode 08
Episode Title: "Grandma's Day"

Oh, can you believe all this?

It happened
during our housewarming party.

You know, my son did it.
He's a loose cannon.

You must think we're all lunatics.

No, you'd be surprised.
I see this quite often.

- You're kidding.
- Hello!

Back here!

I was ringing the doorbell.

Oh, honey,
you can't hear it back here.

This is Craig, honey.
He's trying

to get your dad's golf cart
out of the pool.

No, you should leave it in.
It looks cool.

You know, I thought about it,
but honey, the rust. Mm-mm.

Anyway, are you ready
for our interview?

Of course. Is it gonna be like

- my Channel 9 interview?
- Kind of.

I have this list of questions
I'm supposed to ask you

about, like,
our family ancestors.

- Ugh.
- And then I have to draw this,

like, family tree diagram.

Well, our family tree
is full of nuts,

- so I hope you know that.
- Oh, I do.

Hey, do you want
an Arizona Iced Tea?

I got some
of that Arizona Iced Tea.

- I love the cans.
- Yeah.

- Hey, Craig?
- Yeah?

You want a can
of Arizona Iced Tea?

Uh, maybe later, but thank you.

All right. Let us know
if we can be of any help.

We can't,
but let us know, anyway.

Hi. Yes, can you, uh,

tell me what room this seminar
is in right here?

You have to register for that.
You can't just go in.

Oh, but, uh, Tammy, uh...
She-she's a friend of mine.

The leader, Tammy...

She's... she's a close friend.
I just wanted to say hi.

Okay, don't tell anyone
I told you,

but it's right
in that conference room

- right there.
- Over there? Okay.

This is your life plan

for success, and it's shaped
as the petals of...

- What is this?
- Chip.

Just take a seat in the back...-Sorry.

- And I'll get to you in a minute.
- Hold on one second.

Thanks a lot, dickhead.

This is the life plan
for success,

as I was saying,
and as you can see,

it's in the shape of a flower,
and there's...

Can we get technical in here?

It was in the shape of a flower.

When technical...
when technical comes.

Now, take out your workbooks.

Oh, here's my Aunt Zella.

She never had a date
her whole life

because her mother was
a religious fanatic.

But she was such a sweet person.

Well, that's good
to put in my report.

- Yes.
- Our teacher told us

our ancestors
were real people,

you know, even though
they didn't have color photos.

Yeah, but they had color, honey.

They were full of it.

And your Aunt Zella was
from Bakersfield, too?

Uh-huh. We all were, honey.

We've always paid our taxes,
and we've never had a foreclosure.

Except one time when, uh...

It was a mobile home,
I think, so...

You want me
to put that in my report?


- Okay.
- Oh.

And is any
of our family "associated

"with Bakersfield landmarks
or points of interest?

Explain how."

What about
the Baskets Family Rodeo?

I'm pretty sure
that's gonna be considered

an historical site
at some point.

Put that in there.

- Okay.
- What's the next thing?

"How has Bakersfield changed

since our ancestors
settled here?"

Ah! God.

Honey, we better go
for a ride.

That Home Depot, you know,
it used to be a JC Penney.

You could get anything there...

Your hair done, get some coffee.

Wow. They had
the cutest robes there.

I still think about it.
I got one once.

I love it.

Are you a robe person, honey?

we don't wear robes anymore.

You don't?
How sad.

Oh, there's Tico's Tacos,

which is now Tacos Ticos.

My mother used to love
to get a chile rell-eno there.

And then she'd say,
"All the restaurants

in Bakersfield
are Mexican restaurants."

You know, 'cause of the cooks.

- You get it?
- Grandma.

You can't say stuff like that
anymore. It's 2019.

I'm just saying,
all the restaurants in town

have Mexican chefs.

I love their food,
and I love them.

- Well, just say that, then.
- Okay.

That you love
the Mexican people.

I love them.
And I love you.

It's like we're Thelma
and Louise here, isn't it?


Uh. Oh, never mind, honey.

Oh! There's Uncle Chip's

Bullet Towers apartments.

Named after the bullet train,

of course.

What's the bullet train?

Well, it's a train
that's gonna go

from Bakersfield up to Fresno,

and hopefully,
over to Sacramento.

And is it going to I.A.?

I.A.? Who are you,
Sally Struthers?


What year were you born, honey?

- 2003.
- 2003.

That's the last time
I got my nails done.

Sally was some kind of actress,
and she was a great pitchwoman.

She got a little chunky,
but what the hell.

Oh! There's the antique shop.

What did that used to be?

It was always
an antique shop, honey,

but they have a gumball machine.

Ooh, let's go!

Youth. Hmm.

You know, I-I tried to be
a successful businessman,

and I... and I was getting
the hang of it,

and right when I was getting
the hang of it,

I find out the state
is seizing the rodeo.

And I can't go back to clowning.

It's like clowns
are-are the new horror,

and-and-and superheroes
are-are funny...

The world's gone insane.

It's like everything
that I've worked for

is just being taken away
from me.

So you came here
to complain?

No, I came to, you know,
get one of those...

you know,
don't you do life plans?

That's not the way
it works, Chip.

I am not the master
of your destiny, you are.

I'm no... I'm not good at it.

What do you really want,

Did you see
these people working?

They were working to create
their own life plans.

The only way
out of the woods

is to become
your own compass.

Is that symbolism?
'Cause I didn't go to no college.

Well, I did...

- I mean, is that symbolism?
- Look.

I really want...

You keep talking
about everything

that you don't have.

Have you ever thought about
figuring out what you do have,

and then making something
out of that?

Okay, this is what
I want you to do.

Sit here.

I want you to write up

your own life plan
for success.

And then,
present it to me

You mean,
be my own compass,

not worry about anything
and just do something?


Good luck, hon.

Oh! Love it.

Oh, why would someone get rid
of this cute thing?

That'd look so good on you.

A cowgirl?

Well, like Annie Oakley.

Who is that?

First woman of the West.

She used to ride horses,
shoot guns...

So, I'm Filipino
on my mom's side,

but, uh, what are we
on my dad's side?

Scotch-Irish, honey.

Heavy on the Scotch.
No, that's a joke.

Just say that we're, uh,

you know, we're like a mu...
We're mutts.

We're, like, Bakersfield white.

- Just put that, honey.
- Okay.

And if we've been in
Bakersfield for six generations,

where is everybody?

They're gone, honey.

We're full of diseases.

We got cancer.

We got whooping cough.

We got diabetes.

We got it all.

- Ooh. Okay.
- Rosacea.

How do you spell that?

R-O... R-S...

- Uh, R...
- There's a silent

something in there.

Oh. Aw.

Oh, why would anyone throw out

all these beautiful
family photos?

So many memories.

Maybe they all died together
in a fire.

Oh, honey.

Wouldn't the photos
be burned?

I'm gonna go buy this
for my report.

- Okay, honey.
- Okay.

- Hey, honey? Don't let, uh...
- Yeah?

Don't let our photos end up
in a place like this, okay?

Or at a garage sale
or something like that.


Don't let us f... be forgotten.

You know?

Okay, I-I won't.

Thank you, honey.

Ah, Remington!


Oh, I don't think so.

That's a little high.

Hey, Chip.

Did you, did you get this?

I did, yeah.


At first, I was real mad

when I saw this, and then,

and then suddenly
I started thinking.

We're bursting at the seams,

We could use the money,
we could get another church.

We could buy two parking lots.

We could...

I mean, m-maybe you could get
another rodeo?

We'll probably just put this
oneon the back of a flatbed truck.

Just haul it somewhere.

You making fun of me?

No, I just... We-we would have
to start from scratch.

Well, maybe,
c-could you take the money

and-and... find something else?

Like, maybe a-a...

chain of craft stores, or...?

I mean...

M-Maybe there's another rodeo
that needs a CEO?

I don't think that exists.

Being a CEO of a rodeo
was just kind of made up here.

Plus, I-I'm really a clown.

I mean, I'm a... I'm a c...

You know, I'm a clown
and somehow I ended up...


I mean,
I'm just here trying to...

keep things together.

So, it's not the same for us.

Listen, I'm-I'm sorry.

I'll leave you to it,

but any time you want to talk,

I'm always here for you.

- I appreciate that, Reverend.
- Until we have to sell.

But-but I'll still be here.

- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- You know...

on Skype or video or...


That-that train is-is-is coming,

and I hope you find peace
with it

'cause you don't really
have a choice.


Here comes the choo choo.

Oh, my old junior high.

Hey, do the girls still smoke
in the bathroom?

We used to smoke up a storm
back then.

smoking is terrible for you.

Well, not back then.

Oh, Grandma.
That's my friend Zoe.

Zoe, come here!

That's a
funny name for a boy, honey.

- It's a girl.
- Oh.

She just has short hair.

- Hi.
- Hey! This is my grandma.

Grandma, this is Zoe.

- Hello.
- Hi, Zoe.

- What are you doing here?
- I'm waiting

for my mom to get back
from work.

Can she come over and swim?

Well, if Craig got the golf cart

out of the pool, she can.

Get in.

What does your mom do
that she works so late?

She's a nurse.

Oh, I love nurses.

Let's get out of here, girls.

Oh, he got it out of the pool.

Good job, Craig.

Well, you didn't clean the
pool, though, Craig.

I guess that doesn't come
with it, huh?

Well, I hope you girls
have a lot of fun swimming.

Is that a chili can?

Pick some of that up for me,
will you?


You crazy girls!
I'm going to, uh...

put a couple Salisbury steak
dinners in for you.

Hey, Chip.

Hey. Listen, have any of you
or your trailer park friends

heard anything about this
bullettrain coming through town?

Yeah, I know
about the bullet train.

It's a cover story so liberals
can raise all that money,

and you know what they're
gonna do with all that money?

gonna makea supermax prison

for us conservatives like me.

Dale, it's-it's real. It's real.

Well, you've got your opinion,
and I've got my facts.

Hey, listen, I'm doing
an emergency family meeting.

Be at the rodeo in lessthan an
hour, you understand me?

I'll be there,
locked and loaded.

No, do not lock and load.
Just show up, okay?



Thanks, Mrs. Baskets.

Oh, take care, sweetheart.

Bye. I'll call you later.

Thank you for taking her home.

Oh, you're welcome.

Hey, Crystal, honey,

you know,
I saw you and your friend

kissing in the pool.

- Yeah?
- And I know

things can be confusing
when you're your age,

and I just want you to know
that I'm available to talk

- if you ever need to talk.
- Oh, my God. Grandma!

we were just messing around.

It's no big deal.

Well, I mean, it is a big deal.

I mean, I love Ellen.
She's terrific.

Most of my friends are bi.


Oh, bisexual.

Oh, yeah, well...

Well, you know,
I just worry about you,

and I want you to be happy,

and I want you to knowl'll
go to any parade you want.

Except I won't be able to walk

'cause I have
that darn plantar fasciitis.

And it's no fun.
It hurts like hell.

Don't worry.

- Okay.
- All right?

This generation of yours
is moving so fast.

I can't keep up with it.

No, you're cool, though.

You're, like,
the coolest grandma out there.

Oh! And you're
the coolest grandchild,

- but don't tell your sister.
- Okay.

She'll be mad at me.


- Hello?
- Hey, Mom? Chip here.

Hey. Chip, what's up?

Hey, I need you
to come over to the rodeo.

Oh. We'll be right there.

- Thanks. See you.
- Okay, honey.

Oh, we got to go.
Your uncle needs us.

Seizing the rodeo?!

- What?!
- Yeah.

- Read that again.
- Okay.

- "To whom it may concern..."
- Let me see this, please.

Oh, my God.

This is just the government
infringing on our rights

just because some pinko liberals

voted on a speed train
to get up to the Gay Area

so that they can have
their San Francisco treats.

Dale. Don't say that.

It's okay to be gay or bi.

O-Okay, can we get back
on track here?

Maybe we should've
never bought the rodeo.

Okay? But we did,

and we've almost killed
ourselves to keep it open.

- Amen to that.
- So I don't think we should lay low.

I think we should fight this.

Let's fight it.

- I love that.
- Yeah, right?

And then, listen, I think
the next thing we should do

is go to Assemblyman
Brian Von Vogel's office

and let him know we're not gonna

- take it laying down.
- I'm in.

- I'm in.
- I'm in.

- I'm in.
- You're in school, fool.

All right,
let's make some protest signs.

Meeting adjourned.
Thanks, everybody.

Let's do it.
Pretty good leadership there, Chip.

Pretty good leadership.

And then on my
fraternal side of the family,

we're Scotch-Irish,

sixth generation

My great-great-grandfather
William Scott Baskets

emigrated from Ireland
to California in 1814.

He married
and had three children.

He bought a plot of land

and then planted
a date palm orchard on it.

And one by one,

his family members
came over to America,

and together they built
one of the first successful

dried fruit businesses
in the Central Valley.

Today, that tradition

of hard work, determination

and family unity continues,

especially in the face
of adversity.

- Ow!
- Oh!

Well, get those seat belts on.

City hall, here we come!

Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH

Sync corrections by srjanapala