Baskets (2016–…): Season 4, Episode 6 - Common Room Wake - full transcript

The new CEO of Baskets Rodeo.

Thanks, everybody. I appreciate that.

- Hey, how did you kids get in here?
- Shut up, old man.

- Excuse me?
- The only lesson that

these kids understand
is a cinder block to the face.

- Hey...
- Hear, hear. Cheers.

You guys are partying with minors.

That is a Class A felony.

You really think I'm a good CEO?

- Sure, you're a great CEO.
- Thanks, Dale.

Now just move your eyes slowly,



left to right.

Anything out of the ordinary?

Any distortions?

Swirling sensations?

Sir, just keep moving your eyes, please.

Mm, who is that over there?

Oh, that's our clown.

Okay. I don't see any reason
why you can't go home,

I just wouldn't drive for a couple days.

Well, I don't drive.
What's with this clown?

Yeah?

Is he a doctor?

- No.
- He's not much of a clown, either.

Well, grief clowning is a special skill.



I mean, he's got a certificate.

A certificate doesn't mean anything

when you're in the clowning business.

Watch this.

- Oh! Thanks!
- Yeah, no problem.

Maybe I can come by and
give him some pointers,

or maybe volunteer here, I don't know.

Oh, it's a paying job.

- Paying job?
- Yeah.

I used to clown professionally,
but I'm a CEO now.

What-what are you doing?

Oh, I was just looking
for my business card.

Oh, uh, well,
you're wearing a hospital gown.

That is true. Yeah.
Probably not in there.

Yeah. All righty, then.

Oh, hi, Chip. How are you?

Uh, listen. Can you come pick me up
at the hospital, please?

Oh. Well, you know,
honey, I'm in Denver.

I got a carpet emergency.

Oh, gosh, I forgot that
you were in Denver.

I probably forgot
'cause I got hit in the head.

Oh, okay. Well, feel better.

Uh, well, don't forget
to feed the cats, honey.

Okay.

- Mom?
- Sorry, Chip. Got to go.

Mom!

I'm down here.

The urn that is included
with the cremation

is a hard... plastic shell.

But if you'd like your
father to reside in something

- a little more gracious...
- Um, that's okay.

You're sure?

My dad loved plastic.

But how's that gonna look?

Oh, I'm probably just gonna
keep it in the closet.

That's fine.

What are your plans for the service?

I haven't made any plans yet.

This was pretty sudden.

My dad fell off the roof
trying to fix the TV antenna.

And, unfortunately, he fell before
he could finish the job,

- so it's still broken.
- Oh.

Now I can't leave my mom home alone,

or she'll go up on the roof
to try to fix the antenna.

I got it.

I got it.

Okay, well, um, I left
my mom at Costco temporarily,

but I should really get back
to her as soon as possible.

- Let's just finish this.
- Okay.

Oh, it's Chip.

- Hello?
- Hey, Martha, listen, I need you to,

- uh...
- I'll do it.

But you don't know what
I'm asking you to do.

Sir, I've got to go.

I'll come back for my dad.

Do you miss my clowning?

Do I miss your clowning?

Yeah, it's a legitimate question.

Um, not yet, I guess.

'Cause I do.

Hmm.

You know, I've been listening to,
to those success tapes.

The ones Tammy gave you?

Well, let's not get mixed up
in the personalities, Martha.

But let's just say the system works.

It-it, it does.

- Okay.
- I do miss clowning.

Something reminded me of that today.

Something?

Yeah, something, Martha, yeah.

I just... I don't know,
I saw this clown,

and I thought...

maybe I should return to
clowning, you know?

As-as a hobby.
Just-just do it for the joy of it.

Okay.

You need to take a left right here.

Um, we have to stop at Costco first.

I ain't going to no Costco, Martha.

Well, my mom's here.

Do you have a life outside of Costco?

Sometimes I go to Sam's Club.

Mom.

I can eat ham.

No one said you couldn't.

- Would you like a sample?
- Oh, hey, Lorenzo.

- No, thank you.
- I-I'll take some.

I just got out of the hospital.
Thank you.

Okay, Mom, let's get you home.

Okeydokey.

See you tomorrow.

Well, we'll see about that.

Since my husband died,

my daughter won't let
me stay home alone.

Martha, your... Your dad died?

You didn't tell me.

Well...

Oh, God, uh... You okay? Do...

Is this... I should hug you.
I'm gonna hug you, okay?

I'm going in for a hug, here...

- Okay. Well, ow, my cast.
- Okay, sorry.

It just happened, Chip.

We don't even know where
we're gonna have the services.

God...

You're sad. You must be sad.

I'm sorry. Uh, uh, I'm so sorry.

All right, well, let me help.

I-I, I can, uh, let me host it.
I could, I could host it.

Okay... In your condo?

In my con... No, but there's a...
there's a common room

in my condo. It's a great space.

We could d... we could have it there.

You think you could
score it for the wake?

Yeah. Yeah-yeah, absolutely.

- No problem.
- Okay.

All right. Okay, Mom, let's go.

Chip's gonna host the wake.

Whoopie-do!

See you tomorrow.

Well, we'll see about that, okay?

Can I get, uh, seven of those to go?

Yeah, come in. You can come in.

Hi. I'm, uh, I'm Chip Baskets.
I'm a condo...

I'm a condo owner.

And I'm Anita in Operations.

Uh... I wanted to-to talk to
you, or to anybody

about reserving the, uh, common room.

Um, yeah. Okay.

You'd have to talk to David.

David?

'Cause everything really runs through...

David.

Oh, yeah, that's what they...

Yeah, is he, is he on the premises?

He is around, but he's in and out.

And he's on the premises
of other premiseses

in California.

Um, so he just had a baby.

- Okay.
- Mm-hmm.

Well, luckily, you'rehere.

- Well, I can't do anything.
- So...

'Cause I'm in sales.

But could I put a
request in through you?

Sure.

I will put in a request with David.

- That sounds like a good plan.
- Right?

Thank you very much. Great.

If, uh, you need me, I'll be in my unit.

- Okay.
- Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Okay, you guys are fed,

I changed your litter
box, I gave you water.

I think I'm gonna be on my way.

- Mom!
- Chip!

- What are you doing here?
- What happened to your neck?

What do you mean?
I called you from the hospital.

Well, I didn't know it was
so serious, honey.

Well, I'm-I'm totally fine.

Oh, hi, kitties.

What are, what are you doing here?

I thought there was a carpet emergency.

Well, Martha's father died, honey.

- I came right home.
- Yeah, I know, it's sad.

Terrible.

Honey, never let me go on
the roof in my 90s, okay?

- What are you doing?
- I'm making a casserole

for Martha's family.

You know, when someone dies,
people get hungry.

Well, I told Martha that I would,
uh, you know,

try to throw a wake for her.

Oh, well, that's really nice, honey.
What are you planning?

You know, and I was
thinking about maybe...

I don't know, dipping
my toe back into clowning

and doing something, you know, there.

At a funeral?

Yeah, grief clowning. It's a...

- It's a specialty. It's...
- Oh.

You know, it makes people feel better.

But I thought you were
happy being a CEO, honey.

I am, I am, I am. I just, you know,

It's a performance itch,

and maybe I just want to
scratch that itch at the funeral.

Well, I guess I'd talk
to Daniel if I was you

because he's always planning
all these memorials at the church.

He'll tell you if being a
clown at a wake is crazy or not.

It's not crazy, Mom.

Well...

I'll talk to him.

- You need some onions?
- Don't I.

When are we going to your work?

I'm taking a bereavement day.

If you're trying to get between me

and the sample ham man,

forget it.

I like him.

You don't even know his name.

Lorenzo.

Okay, you're right.

Why do people keep showing up?

My husband died.

Oh. Martha, I'm so sorry for your loss.

- Thanks.
- I brought you a casserole.

Thanks, I'll put it in the fridge.

And don't worry about the pan,
get it back to me

whenever you can. It doesn't match
my other ones anyways.

It's a Le Creuset, though.

- Hi.
- There you are.

- Darling, how are you?
- Oh, not so good.

So sorry.

I can't stand being
in this house anymore.

All the memories, honey?

- No TV.
- No TV.

Well, let's sit and chat, you know?

Don't sit there,
that's my dad's paperwork.

Oh! Oh, geez, I'm sorry, Martha.

- Sorry.
- Thanks, Mrs. Baskets.

I appre... Mom, stop.

- Do not go on the roof.
- What is she doing on the roof?

She's trying to fix the TV. Mom.

I'll take you to Costco.

Costco?

Always a good fix when
you're not feeling good.

Here we go.

Hey, Reverend Kwon?

Oh, hey, Chip.

Hey, uh, do you have a minute?

Yeah.

Um, I just wanted to say
that I'm really sorry

about the other night with those kids.

I wasn't thinking, and that's...

I'm sorry.

You coming here and saying that...

Jesus teaches us to forgive.

That's all you had to do.

Who's Jesus?

Oh, oh, yeah, the guy from the...
Yeah, the Bible guy. Yeah.

Um, hey, listen...
I wanted to ask your advice.

I have to, uh, perform a eulogy...

- Cool.
- ... at...

Yeah, it is cool.

And, uh, my mom says
you're the master at it.

I mean, she may be a little biased.

She's kind of a fan, but...

I think she has a crush
on you, actually.

Oh, come on, Chip.

So I-I kind of came to ask your advice.

I have this eulogy and I wanted to bring

what I call my grief clowning

to the, to the wake.

Well, I always try to remember
that it's not about me, right?

It-It's about the mourned
and-and the mourners.

Yeah.

But I have managed to get
some enormous laughs over the years.

- Hm.
- Is it open casket?

No, I don't think so, no, no, no.

Yeah, gives you some leeway.

Maybe you could come to the
service and check it out and

- see what you think about it.
- Oh!

Sure.

Yeah? Would you do that?

Yeah, you know what, y-y-yes, I will.
I-I-I will be there.

You know where the Bullet
Train Apartments are?

- Yes.
- They're on Federalsburg Street.

- Yeah, okay. Okay.
- Okay.

All right, thanks, Kwon.

Reverend Kwon.

You got the bath and the closet...

Sorry. Have you talked to David yet?

Um, not yet.

They're not trying to get
the common room, are they?

No, but if you did want to,
you do need to go through David.

Okay, you know what, why don't we assume

that David's gonna grant me

- the common room...
- I'm so sorry.

... and then you can
tentatively slot me in

until maybe David vetoes it.

Hey, Martha, I wanted to let you know

we have the common room.

We have the common room.

Oh, um, I didn't realize

that we ever hadn't had it.

We didn't didn't have it.
We... But I'm-I'm just saying

we have it for sure,
it's carved in stone.

Um, okay, thanks, Chip.

Yes, exciting. It's beautiful.
Lot of square footage,

uh, lights, everything
you need, couches.

I fell in love with clowning as a child,

and, uh, actually, was
formally trained in-in-in France.

I don't have any specific
grief clowning training,

but I have a ton of
experience with grief

- in my own personal life.
- Mm.

I'm actually performing
at a wake this weekend

if you'd like to see
me showcase my talents.

Uh, there'll be a lot of grieving there.

I mean, I'm-I'm-I'm hoping.

Um, we'll send a scout.

Perfect.

_

Excuse me,

we're setting up for a
memorial service here.

Are you friends of the deceased?

- What is with the hot choc...
- Chip.

You really pulled it off.

- Thanks, Mom.
- Hey, Martha.

- Hi, Mrs. Baskets.
- Hey, Mrs. Brooks.

Hey, any news on my dish?

You mean the pale blue one?

- La Creuset.
- I thought you said it was

no hurry getting it back to you.

Well, no hurry doesn't mean
we lose our minds, Martha.

Chip, talk to her.

All right, no... Yeah, I will.

All right. And then I gotta go
upstairs and change clothes.

I don't care about the dish.

How are you, Martha?

I'm all right.

Being an executrix is
a lot more complicated

than I thought it would be.

Can you hold on one second, Martha?

Can you guys quiet down, please?

You were saying?

And my mom is mad at me
'cause I wouldn't let her invite

the Hormel ham sample guy.

Martha, you got to stop
cockblocking your mom.

She's grieving.

And I don't know if this
is the best time for you

to be going over your dad's paperwork.

Do you think I'm doing it
to avoid facing my feelings?

I don't know. Is that possible?

Sounds like a good idea.

Hey, listen, I wanted you
to know that I'm, uh,

I'm gonna swing for the fences.

What fence?

That's just an expression. Here.

At the-the memorial. I'm gonna...

I'm gonna turn up the clowning,

if that's okay with you.

Yeah, of course.

Okay. Thank you for your faith, Martha.

No-no-no-no-no.

That's Anita. I'm gonna handle this.

Anita! Look what you did!

And all without David.

A glimpse at what's possible.

My fingerprints cannot be
anywhere near this.

- Okay?
- Okay.

And we just have to keep this room open,

because this is the common area.

The kids need to be
able to come in and out

for the hot chocolate.

'Cause if David finds out
that I, that I okayed this

- without his approval...
- Yeah...

I am... no-no-no...
You don't... I'm dead.

Oh. No-no, I-I, I understand.

Um, but can I, can I introduce you
to the widow first?

Mrs. Brooks.

- There's somebody I want to...
- What?

want you to meet. Come here.

Yeah, just explain that
to the widow, please?

Explain who to what?

- I g... I don't know...
- What you...

What you just said to me,
you just explain...

- Miss Brooks?
- What?

Uh, I just wanted to let
you know that they're...

During the-the service,
uh, and Anita will be able

to tell you better,
but during the service

there are gonna be
some small little tykes

- getting some hot chocolate.
- What?

- My husband died.
- I know.

How much hot chocolate
are you guys gonna need?

- What?
- Nothing. Nothing, Mrs. Brooks.

Okay, so try to keep it under an hour,

and I will try to keep them out.

Okay.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

Hi, everybody. Um...

I think we should just get started.

Uh, we're gonna lose this
room in less than an hour,

so we should get started, yeah.

Okay, uh, so, um,

Mr. Brooks, uh, died accidentally

while fixing the TV antenna.

It's still not fixed.

They still have an antenna?

Why don't we take up a
collection for cable?

I don't think we have time for that.

Uh...

No?

Okay. Yeah, sure. Uh, here, well...

um... hold on a moment.

- Here, just pass this around.
- Yeah.

Here, we'll put it right over here.

But as I was saying,
Mr. Brooks died accidentally,

but some say heroically.

Falling off the roof.

Which reminds me of a
punch line of a joke,

and the punch line is,
"Grandpa is on the roof."

And then, uh,
the set-up for it goes like...

Okay, there was a cat on a...

There was a cat on the roof...

Yeah, okay, so... Oh, yeah.

- So there-there's a, um...
- Move over, Martha.

Martha, did you, uh,
did you want to say something?

Not right now.

Okay. Uh, so, uh, I think the...

Oh.

I'm sorry, I tried to keep them out,
but they're kids.

By the way, if the scout is here,
whoever you are,

I'm sorry, but...

Uh, so, so sorry about this.

Okay, kids, uh...

Hold on.

Hey, guys.

Who wants to do the conga?

Who wants to do the conga?

Put your hands on my hips, right here.

- Okay.
- Okay, here we go,

doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo.

Uh, doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo.

- Doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo.
- A congo.

- Lorenzo... no.
- Ooh.

- Mom...
- It's okay.

It's too early for you
to be flirting with him.

All right.

I'll fix the TV.

We got you money for cable.

Ugh. Mrs. Baskets.
I can't give you your dish back.

I can't wash it.
You burned the casserole

- to the bottom of the dish.
- Oh, well.

Well... don't worry about it, Martha.

Okay, uh...

Hurry this along.

Um...

Don't-don't come back here.

They're back.

They're a little hyped up

on hot chocolate, I think.

Okay, guys, thank you.

Oh. They like it.

They like it. Bow, bow, bow.

Okay, uh, and then just
maybe right back out.

Here we go. There we go, gang.

Oh, David?

Hi. Yeah, I've been trying
to call you over and over,

but you were signed out.

- Is that David?
- Did you get the...

Oh, yeah, you can...
you can use the room.

- We have the room?
- For how long?

Three... three hours if you want.

- Oh!
- We have the room!

- We have three more hours. Okay.
- The room!

- We have the room.
- What a relief.

Now we can respect Mr.
Brooks the way he should be.

We raised $63.

Great meeting y'all.

Take care.

That was a big success, don't you think?

- It was...
- Oh, I thought Chip was so terrific.

It was very cool and
unusual and interesting.

You liked it?

I love the kids' conga.

Yeah. I mean, when you work
with kids, you never know.

You know, lot of wild card
situations there, but, uh...

Yeah, it all worked out.

- I laughed. I never laugh.
- I've seen you laugh.

Maybe I'm not aware of it.

Chip, you're CEO but...

maybe this is, you know...

you.

Thank you.

Well, anyway,

got to run. God bless. Thank you.

Thank you for letting
me be part of this.

- See you in church.
- Okay.

Mom, you want some hot chocolate?

- It's really good.
- Oh, yes.

Are there any tiny marshmallows?

Yeah. How many you need?

Oh, you know, just fill it up, honey.

He started slow

but sort of warmed up a bit.

He got some scattered laughter.

His makeup needed a little work,

but his costume was decent.

I'd be inclined to move
him to the next round.

Okay.

Thanks for helping.

Ooh, candy. Yay.