Baskets (2016–…): Season 3, Episode 5 - Sweat Equity - full transcript

Bakersfield gets a frozen yogurt machine.

FX Presents


The followung program is Rated


It contains strong language

intended for only
matured audiances.


This is Sleepy.

- He's a sign spinner.
- What?!

Mom has me, uh,
working front of house.

Face it...
you got demoted.

We need a big finale.

Fireworks are always
a crowd-pleaser.

I'll buy two

on my personal credit card.




Season 03 Episode 05
Title: "Sweat Equity"

Shh, shh.

Oh, my God.
Oh, hi.

I love this hymn.

- I know.
- It's horrible!

- I had to throw my dress away!
- It was a shame.

And I'm still picking
lobster out of my hair.

I bet. I know.

Hi, girls!
Happy Sunday!

- Oh, hi.
- Christine.

- I'm so sorry I was in your seat before.
- Oh, ho!

I would have moved for you,

- During the service?!
- Sure.

- At my church?
- Oh, ho!

It is my church, you know.

I'd love to do the
collection plate next week.

Hey, did you all enjoy yourselves

at the opera night?

It was glorious! I mean,
the music and the fireworks

- and... your smiling face.
- Oh.

Well, you know who
wasn't smiling? My dry cleaner.

You'd think he'd never seen a
fire extinguisher stain before.

Uh-huh. Well,
I'll fix that.

I'll get you a steamer
cleaner from the SkyMall.

- Oh, for heaven's sakes.
- Oh.

- Don't even think about it.
- Don't worry about it.

- We love you, darling.
- We're gonna see you

real soon, Christine.

I'll call you.

Bye-bye, honey.

I would love to hear your side.

Christine's opera night
put you in the hole $50,000,

and ticket sales are doing nothing.


I think my mom has lost
her mind, Uncle Jim.

She's gonna blow through
my inheritance

- before she's even dead.
- Well, that is my mother's fault.

I don't know
what she was thinking,

leaving... Christine
a lump sum.

She doesn't know the
first thing about business.

Yeah, but I do!
That's my point!

I-I mean, I do.

And I've tried to warn her,
but, no, no, she won't listen.

She's gonna drag the
whole family down with her.

Now, you were right
calling me down here.

I should have
never fronted Mama the money

for those fireworks.
My back! Oh!

Now, you know,
that is all in your head.

What is?

- Hmm.
- Hey.

We having a meeting
without me? Hi.

Well, hello
to you, too, sister.

How are you?

I didn't know you were in town.

- Yeah.
- How have you been?

Good, good, good. I just,
uh, thought I'd swing by

on my way to
a Quiznos convention.

Oh, good.

I just came in
to get my Costco card.

You sure Dale didn't invite you?

Oh, now I need
an invitation?

No, but it would be nice
to know when you're coming.

You're family, you know.

- We were having some doughnuts.
- Well, that's good.

Why don't you come over
at 4:00,

and I'll make
hamburger pizza?

My favorite!

It's a date, then.
Come over at 4:00.

Walk me out.
I got a million things to do.

- Hey, sweetie.
- Well, it's so nice to see you.

Well, I can't pick you up
right now.

It's the middle of the
afternoon. I'm at work.

What do you mean,
"Bill can do it"? Who's Bill?

You got it all figured
out, don't you, Sleepy?

Oh, God.

Chip, did you know that Jim was here?

Yes, he and, uh, Dale
went into your office.

Why didn't you stop 'em?

Was I supposed to do that?

I'm front of house.
I stay in my own lane.

I thought maybe you empowered
him like you did Sleepy.

Chip, did you know that Nicole
is dating some buy named Bill?

Yeah, the guy from
the new Froyo place?

Yeah, I'd heard something
about that.

Everybody knows but me!

And guess who I heard it from.
My daughter.

You didn't expect me to
tell you about it, right?

I'm not gonna insert
myself into that situation?

It's a situation?!

Oh, my God.

Give us a note,
watch me for the tempo.

Bring it out more, right?

Bring it out more. You guys
come in and start with you.

And one, ah, ah, ah.

- No-no-no-no-no. Sing. Fill...
- Daniel?

Fill the... Oh, hey. Hi!

- Sorry to bother you.
- No.

- Sorry to interrupt. I'm sorry.
- No, no. No, no, no.

I'm trying to get these kids

just to be a little less
dependent on me.

Keep going, guys!
You can do it... without me.

- What's going on?
- Uh... oh, it's a mess.


I need some tips on
running a family business.

My son brought
my brother in

who owns a couple of,
uh, Quiznos franchises,

- and now...
- A few Quiznos?

I mean, maybe
he knows something

- about the business.
- Uh...

Well, maybe it is all my pride.

It is only a rodeo,
after all, but...

Is that a song I would know?

That hymn...
it sounded so...

Oh, this is a new song.
See, they-they write

all their own material.
Some of these kids are super,

super talented.

not that one or that one,

but... but the ones on
the outside of the piano...

They-they're pretty good.
Just kidding.

- Oh.
- Wait, wait, wait. Oh, I got... Mm.

Okay. So,

these are, um, hymn
templates, and you just...

The next time you're
tossing and turning at night,

you have an idea,
and you think,

"Hey, that would make a
good hymn," jot it down.

Christine, I can't wait to see
what comes out of your mind.

Oh, thank you.
I feel much better.

Thank you so much
for talking to me.

- I should let you get back to the...
- Okay.

- Door's open any time. Any time.
- Oh, you're a lifesaver.

- And, hey...
- The whole thing... Beautiful, though.

- Thank you. Thanks.
- But thank you for this.

All right.
Door's always open, okay?

- Always open.
- Okay.


Just how you
like it, Jim, on the rocks.


You've been losing weight, Christine?

Well, maybe from all the
running around at work.

Who knows?

Like a chicken
with your head cut off?

More like a bull
in a China shop.

Or a bull at the rodeo.

Well, don't have a cow.


I really have to make
this rodeo thing work, Jim.

I'm here for you, sis.

You just keep putting one
foot in front of the other.

If you get overwhelmed,

you're no use to anybody.

- Know what I mean?
- Hmm.

Uh, isn't that right, Chip?

Wait. What am I agreeing to?

Well, your uncle thinks
that I'm too emotional

when it comes to business,
and, um,

he's got a lot more experience,

and he's giving me some
sage advice.

So, I'm all ears, Jim.

I can help you out best I can,

you know, with my experience.

I'm a college graduate.

Didn't you go to DeVry?

- It's a college.
- It's accredited.

Welcome to Frobot,
the yogurt of the future.

I am a robot
ready to serve up

- some delicious frozen yogurt.
- Hey. Huh? Come on up.

Tap for
flavors, tap for toppings.

Can your dad give us extra toppings?

That is not her dad.
I am her dad, okay?

- What are you doing here?
- He is not.

- I thought you couldn't give me a ride.
- Well,

I came to buy you and your friend...

Whose name I can't remember...

Some extra toppings
for your frogurt.

Is it Denise?

- No. It's Hannah.
- Hannah. Hannah.

- You have a friend named Denise, though.
- You must be Dale.

Must I be, then? Must I be?

- Ah.
- Yeah, okay. I really

- don't do that MTV stuff.
- Okay, okay.

- Bill.
- Hey, Bill. How are you?

- Great.
- I wanted to let you know

that I gave birth to her,
and we have a lot of diabetes

in the family, and I don't
need any more sugar freaks.

I just want to make sure that

the sugar content in the
Frobot, uh, is not too high,

'cause I don't want to
put her at an early grave.

Yogurt. Not too much sugar,
but, uh, sorry. Didn't know.

How would you?
You barely know her.

- Well, damage is done.
- Bill?

- We're ready to shoot.
- Oh.

Yeah, uh, I'm gonna go

be on the news,
so, uh, excuse me.

can be on television.

All you have to do is
rob a bank or kick a dog.

Nice to meet you.
Hey. How you doing?

- Oh, you don't have to do that, Jim.
- No, I love it.

- Here, will you take that?
- Yeah.

Oh, well,
I'm gonna finish this dessert.

You know,
when I bought my first franchise,

I washed every dish.

Opened every morning,
closed every night.

Takes over your life.

That's why you got to love it.

You love the rodeo, Christine?

Do I love the rodeo?



- Do you love Quiznos?
- Quiznos? Yeah.

Hell yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Well, I never thought
I'd end up owning a rodeo.

Who does? Right, Chip?

I'm just happy to do whatever you...

you need me to do.

Are you, Chip?

'Cause I bought it for the family.

And if I'm doing it for you

and you're doing it for me, then...

Well, then,
what are we doing here?

I mean, I can give you

the best advice for
business in the whole world,

but, uh, if you fundamentally don't want

to be in the business...


Maybe I should let it go.

Well, give Dale a shot.

He's got a good head on his
shoulders. I'd be willing

to bet on him myself.

Did you tell her yet, Uncle Jim?

Tell me what?

Well, Uncle Jim's gonna
help me buy back the rodeo.

You know, since you messed up,

I'm in, you're out.


And here I thought we were just,

you know, brother and sister.

Talking about our dilemmas.

We were. We are.

Dale was just, uh, getting a little,

little bit ahead of himself.

No, I'm not.

I fronted you money for fireworks,

and now my kids

are hanging out with
some guy named Bill

who kind of buys them
off with yogurt toppings!

You can't count

the one time
you lent me money

against all the times
I wiped your butt

and fed you boys.

Taught you the ABCs.

What about my sweat equity?

"Sweat equity"?

Someone's been watching
Suze Orman.

Well, what a... what
a... What about the sweat equity

I put in with my kids?

If that's legal tender here
in the town of Bakersfield,

then, uh, maybe I can use
it for-for child support

when I pick up my girls on Saturday.

My... my back's hurting.

It hurts. I'm stressed.

What do you think, Chip?

Should I let Dale run the business now?

Mother, I'm trying to urinate.

So, all of a sudden
my opinion counts, huh?

I thought I was just, you know,

- front of house.
- Don't say "front of house."

If you have a new routine,
I'd love to see it.

My door's always open to you.

Oh, great, so I get to
audition for you anytime?

Wonderful career news, Mom.

That's sarcasm, by the way.

I think I know that.

Hey, Chip.

We'll put you right on stage.


We will.

Ain't that right, U.J.?

Uh, we believe in your clowning.

You're-you're family.

Well, I'm hearing some interesting
things from Uncle Jim and Dale, Mom.

Well, I'm not getting into
a bidding war

over my own son.


Bring the... that. Thank you.

Why don't you just sell
me the rodeo, Christine?

I mean, you even said,

you know,
it was never a business decision.

Why are you really interested in the rodeo?

It's emotional with you,
isn't it?

You don't care
about the business.

You're trying to buy the
rodeo from your sister

because you're mad
at your dead mother.

I came here to fix this for you.

Emotion doesn't have a
damn thing to do with it.

You know, I-I got to get out of here.

Anger's an emotion, Jim.

I know it is.

Don't you have a Quiznos
convention to get to?

There is no convention!

I know!

Oh, damn.

Hey, my car's behind you.
I got to move it.


- Oh, go take care of that, please.
- Oh, go get him.

- Go, go, go, go, go. Hurry. Hurry.
- Quick. Quick.

♪ Don't dare take away ♪

♪ Everything that's good in my life ♪

♪ Every little thing... ♪


I'm the number one dad.

It's pointing towards me.

Hi, Dad.

Get in the car.
I got a great day planned.

- Bill's about to be on TV.
- What?

Did it start?

- No.
- No, not yet.

Come on, hurry.

Come on.

- Dale, good looking.
- Hi, Dale.

Danielle, what
did you find over there?

Some call it Froyo.

Others call it frozen yogurt.

But however you refer to it,

it will give you brain freeze.

And it's making a big
splash here in Bakersfield.

I don't get it.

So, tell us about this Frobot.

Where'd you get the idea?

Well, it just came to me.

One night, I was like, "frozen"

and "robot," let's just...
let's put 'em together.

Well, everyone
loves frozen yogurt.

At least I haven't met

- who doesn't.
- Oh, that's me.

Reporting live from Truxtun Plaza,

I'm Danielle Mana.

- Back to you, Steve.
- Huh?

- That's all right.
- Good job.

Yeah, no, it was really good.

Well, uh, the reason I came over here,

uh, th-this afternoon was, uh...

Congratulations on the yogurt,
by the way,

- it's a great story.
- Thank you, Dale.

But I came over here to, I don't
know, hang out with the girls.

Girls, you want to go do
something? Maybe, uh...

- go hangout?
- Sure.

Want to do something like that?
What'd you like to do?

- Anything.
- Shopping.

Sh... Okay, shopping!
Let's go on a shopping spree.

Big shopping spree.
All right.

Then I don't feel so bad about

asking for the support
check this month.

Well, why would you feel bad about that?

'Cause I love writing
those. Where's my checkbook?

There it is, 'cause I always have it,

'cause I always have my checkbook,

'cause I'm always writing checks.

Okay, here you go.
Ladies, let's do it.

Let's go on a shopping
spree, okay?

- Have fun, be safe, okay?
- Bye. Love you.

Dale, watch those
little angels, would you

I will, Bill, thank you.
They're my angels.

- Bye, Bill.
- All right. See you guys.

- Good job.
- Bye.

Well, you knew
Dale had some resentments

'cause of the business,
and it seems like

maybe Chip has some resentments, too.

I do have some resentments.
I told her.

Yeah, he does have some
resentments; he told me.

Well, I'm going out.
You need anything?

How about a rodeo?
That's what I got you.

Well, um, actually,
it seems like

maybe you have some
resentments, too, Mrs. Baskets.

Maybe I do.

When I start the clock,
you've got two minutes.

To buy whatever we want?

That's what a shopping spree is.

And buy something for Snoozy.

He's waiting in the car.
Okay, and... go!

- Dad!
- We're not ready.

One minute, 58 seconds.
Capitalism run amok!


Shopping spree coming through.

World's best dad!


30 seconds.

Stay cool. That's plenty of time.

Keep going. Grab those socks.

And... time.

The charge didn't go through.

Oh, try it again.

That has a chip on it, also, so
I don't know if it's a swiper,

or if you just do the chip.

It didn't go through.
I-I'll chip it

- this time, yeah, sure.
- Okay, give it a chip.

I don't know why they
changed the system on us.

- I mean, the swipe seemed fine.
- Yeah.

There we go. Did that go through?

Dad, we can just put it
back. We can just put it back.


- Nothing.
- We could ask Bill.

Um... Mama bought some fireworks.


- My mom opened a rodeo.
- Oh.

And, uh, she-she's spending a lot of money

on shit we don't need.

- Oh, okay.
- Dad.

- I'm so sorry.
- That's okay. I have to suck it up.

If you'll just put these
on hold, because my mom,

again, has bought a rodeo

and has left me with nothing
but freaking firework...

- Okay, so we're gonna go.
- Yeah.

We're gonna leave, okay?

- So you can just work out your issues.
- Where's the food court?

- And...
- Go to the food court.

The food court is not the
answer to all your problems!

Back, my back, my back.

- Are-are you okay?
- It smarts a little bit. It does smart.

S... S...

- Sir, are you okay?
- Ow!

Well... you ruined my
date with my daughters.

What are you talking about?

Do you have my money?

What are you... Sit down.

I made some fudge.

I don't want any fudge, Mother.

Dale, this has walnuts in it.

I don't want walnutted fudge.

Have a piece of fudge.

I don't want any fudge! Period!

Stop this-this crap about the fudge!

Well, I guess you don't.

Where are the girls? They like fudge.

Mom, will you please
stop talking about fudge?

Yes. Well, where are the girls?

The girls are at home

because I did not want...

I did not want them to see
their grandmother getting sued.

You can't be serious.

Yep, I'm suing you, Mom,

for, you know,
my-my money and my back

and the, uh, deterioration
of the relationship

between me and my daughters.

What are you looking for?

I'm looking for an "A"
or an "L". I don't know.

Attorney or lawyer. Oh... my neck.

It's crept up my neck now.


Take the rodeo.

Well, it's about time, Mother.

But if you think I'm
not gonna sue you, Mom,

you're dead wrong.

Yes, hello, my name is
Dale Baskets.

I'd like to sue someone, please.

Yes, I can hold.


- Chip?
- Hey, Mom, what's up?

must be coming down with something.

I feel weak as a kitten.

Oh, yeah? Well, you want
me to get you something?

I think I'm just a little
down in the dumps, really.

If you could just help-help me get up

and push me towards the bathroom

until I get my motor revving.

And then I head over to the church

and do the collection plate.

- They're counting on me.
- Mom, Mom, okay, all right.

Listen, just relax. Relax, okay?

- Oh...
- Just relax.


I'll do it. I'll-I'll go
work the collection plate.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah.

I mean, it's Sunday
morning. What am I gonna do?

Watch cartoons all day?

Were you watching cartoons today?

Chip, you should have had
my back with Jim and Dale.

Oh, Chip.

We haven't seen you in
church in a long time.

- Yeah, it's-it's nice to be back.
- Yeah.

It hasn't changed much since the '80s.

Where's Christine?

Um, she's, uh... she's
not feeling well right now.

- Oh.
- Nothing serious, I hope.

No, she's... I mean, she's just, um...

she's just not feeling well.
She's laid up.

Well, you know what they say.

When Christine flakes,
the world scrambles.

Is that a real expression?

I'm sorry she made you have
this conversation with us, Chip.

Tell her that Joan understands.

I hope she feels better.


- Oh.
- I'm so sorry.

The same promises
he makes to us, his people.

For heaven's sake.

Okay, who gave me the, uh, ten?

- What are you doing?
- I did.

I'm refunding your money.

- What do you mean?
- What?

- Pass that down.
- It's for the church.

Yeah, it's no good here.
They don't want it.

- Pass that down.
- Oh, for heaven's sakes.

Don't talk about my mom behind her back.

Then she should have the
guts to show her face here.

♪ Alive, alive ♪

♪ You make me feel alive ♪

♪ Survive, survive ♪

♪ Your love helped me survive ♪

- ♪ And I'll thrive ♪
- ♪ I'll thrive ♪

- ♪ I'll thrive ♪
- ♪ I'll thrive ♪

♪ With you as my captain ♪

♪ I'll thrive, I'll thrive ♪

♪ With you as my friend ♪

♪ Alive, alive ♪

♪ You make me feel alive ♪

♪ Survive, oh, survive. ♪