Baskets (2016–…): Season 2, Episode 7 - Denver - full transcript

♪♪

If you are ever in Denver...

- Oh.
- Look me up.

Put my home phone number
on the back of the card there.

Carpet King.

I met someone, he gave me his card.

I haven't used it.

I, uh, brought Mom a toilet
'cause I broke hers.

- Is she here?
- She ain't here, honey.

Where is she?

Woman: [On P.A.] Ladies
and gentlemen, flight 543 to Denver



will be boarding shortly.

Man: [On P.A.] Welcome to the Denver
International Airport.

For up to date flight information,

please check our overhead monitors,

Thank you and enjoy your stay.

Taxi!

Taxi person!

Oh, these mountains.

Oh, it's my first time here.

- Well, welcome.
- Thank you.

And the air, it's refreshing.

Don't you find it refreshing?

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Oh, and you have that omelet
everyone loves.



- [Chuckles] Sure.
- They talk about it everywhere.

- It's on every menu.
- [Chuckling]

Oh, I love Denver.

Oh.

- I'm here.
- Excuse me?

Christine Baskets.

- Oh.
- Guest of the day.

Yeah, the computer just
does that at random.

Oh. Well, you thank
that computer for me.

Okay. Um, it just means you get 10
percent off a pay-per-view movie.

Oh. Could I trade
that in for a free breakfast?

I can look into that for you.

Thank you.

So, what brings you to Denver?

Oh, I'm just, uh, passing through.

[Vacuum cleaner whirring]

[Door closes]

♪♪

[Exhales]

Hi, this is Ken. I'm out right now,

but if you leave a message,

I'll get right back to you.

[Beep]

Hi, Ken. Christine Baskets
from Bakersfield.

I hope you're well. I'm
sure you're very busy,

uh, as a carpet king,

and, uh, hey, I'm in Denver,

so, uh, I thought
I would give you a call.

I'm at the Extended Rest Hotel downtown.

So, this is my number.

Uh, call me or don't call me or call...

Okay. Bye, Ken. Thank you.

[Sighs]

[Sighs]

Hi. Um, yeah, I had a question.

How's your water quality here in Denver?

- Woman: I wouldn't drink it.
- Oh.

- Yeah.
- Well, uh, could I get, uh,

a bottle of tonic water then?

- Sure.
- With a glass of ice and a twist of lemon?

- Sure, I'll send that right up.
- What was your name?

- Catherine.

Catherine, oh, I've always
loved that name.

- Beautiful day, huh?
- Sure is.

- Thank you, Catherine.
- Thank you. Have a nice day.

[Sighs]

Man: [On TV] Finding
the right chair is hard.

- [Applause]
- Man: Incredible inven...

Man: You can get
your dream kitchen for...

Man: To the DCPA's credit, this thing
hasn't happened at all before.

In fact, this is a rarity, and so
they apologize to all those folks.

- Those folks...
- 44 will be the coolest that we've had.

- You have to go back to August...
- [Snoring]

- To the north and west...
- [Tablet chiming]

Back out toward the northwest plateau,

Craig Beeker, that is a freeze warning.

- Basically, if you had...
- Oh, shit.

[Phone rings]

I'm sure the check is in the mail.

Hello. Can you hold on a second, please.

Hey, Ellen. It's the joy of teaching
which is the reward. Okay?

Go for Dr. Baskets.

Dale, I need you to run
an errand for me tomorrow.

That is a giant no, Mother.

I am knee deep in lazy teachers.
Knee deep!

- Woman: Excuse me?
- I said I am knee deep in lazy teachers,

you witch!

Dale, I think you owe me.

You and your brother ruined my house.

You wrecked the whole place.

Mother, I texted you an apology already.

What else do you want me to do?
I gotta go. Bye.

Dale...

Oh, you brat.

♪ And the squawk box goes to sleep ♪

- [Laughing]
- [Cell phone rings]

Yes. Oh, hold on one second.

Can you hold this for a second? Hi, Mom.

Chip, I'm out of town,

and I need you to do
something for me tomorrow.

Yeah, yeah, okay, for sure.

Meemaw has
a doctor's appointment tomorrow,

there's a reminder on the fridge.

Can you do that for me?

So, does that mean that you're
not mad at me anymore?

- Don't push it.
- Okay, that's good enough,

'cause it's anchored to my skivvies.

You can have a seat.

What is that? I hear balloons.

I'm actually, uh... I'm
doing birthday parties now.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

- Well, that's good.
- Yeah, yeah, it is good.

So, okay, uh, take Meemaw
to the doctor, got it,

and I'll do a good job of that.

I won't let you down, okay? I promise.

- Thank you, Chip.
- Thank you, Mom.

Where are you, by the way?

- I gotta go.

- You outta town? Mom?
- You doin' okay?

- Hi.
- Hey, Mom, what's goin 'on?

How are you, Cody?

All is well. How are you, Mom?

- Where's Logan?
- Uh, he's sleeping.

Oh, God, he always was a sleeper.

- Man, you know that.
- You have a lot of energy, more than him.

[Chuckling]

Um, I have a little surprise.

Please share. What is it, what is it?

Guess where I am?

- Um...
- Denver.

Really? What's goin' on over there?

I'm in Colorado.

Wow.

Hey, so I'm here for a few days.

Any tips or things or ideas,
uh, stuff I might do for fun?

Uh... yeah. Actually, you can
do some cool mountain biking

while you out there.

But Mom, while you're there,

do not do any MDMA. Okay?

- MDMA?
- Yeah.

That sounds terrible.

- Yeah, it was.
- Yeah.

Must be very sunny to have to wear
those sunglasses where you are.

Oh, these? Nah, it's just that,

you know, a long night last night.

- Eyes a little baggy.
- Yeah.

- So, anyway...
- Well, you look terrific.

Thank you.

All right, Mom, well, I gotta go.

Ohh. Okay.

- Okay, well, love you.
- Love you.

- We love you.
- Be good.

- Enjoy Colorado.
- I will.

All right, peace out, Mom.

- Bye.
- Bye.

[Sighs]

♪♪

Waitress: Here you go, ma'am.

- My first Denver omelet.
- Yeah.

Well, when in Rome.

You know, I think it was actually
invented in New York City.

Oh. Okay.

- Enjoy.
- Thank you.

[Sighs]

Hi, this is Ken. I'm out right now,

but if you leave a message, I'll get...

Could I get the check?

Say, I was wondering,
if I checked out a day early,

would I still get all my Extended Rest
rewards points for the entire stay?

I can look into that for you.

Thank you.

Have a good night.

- Watch your step here.
- I will.

Those plants, they don't
look nice anymore.

- They're okay.
- Hey, where are we going, anyway?

- Uh, I'm gonna take you to the doctor.
- No!

- I don't need to go to a doctor, no.
- Meemaw, Meemaw...

- No, no, no.
- Meemaw, I promised...

I promised my mom that I would take
you to the doctor, okay?

Okay. Then I'm gonna drive.

You're not gonna drive, Meemaw.

- I'm gonna drive.
- No.

Too many DUls.

Hey, scoot over, four eyes.

- Oh...
- Come on, come on.

- Martha, just...
- But you're not...

You're not on my insurance policy.

Oh, we won't tell anybody.

Well, legally, I have to call
the police if you drive.

Legal, schmegal. Move over, honey.

Wow. Ten years I haven't driven.

Chip, what's new?
What's happening at the Arby's?

Uh, I don't work there anymore.

I'm a professional clown.

Oh. So, that means you're
the breadwinner, Martha, darling?

What do you mean?

A man shouldn't rely
on his wife for money, Chip.

- That's what I mean.
- We're not a thing.

- We're not married.
- Oh, no. You're not married?

- No.
- No, we're just friends.

- Aren't you pregnant?
- No, I'm not... I'm not pregnant.

What happens, Martha, if you
have a child out of wedlock?

You'd better do something.
You'd better pop a question today.

Would you just pull over,
Meemaw, and let Martha...

- Martha, would you drive?
- No, no, no.

We're on vacation. Your
mom's out of town.

She left me in charge for once.

No, she left me in charge,
by the way, Meemaw.

Wait, where are you going?

Um, just making a stop.

Well, you have an appointment.

I do, but you know what?

[Tires squealing]

Chip: Meemaw.

[Elevator dings]

Christine: Hello.

[Cell phone rings]

- Hello.
- Hi, Christine?

- Hi.
- Hi, it's Ken. How are you?

I'm good.

Sorry it took me so
long to call you back.

Hey, but you're here. That's amazing.

- Yes.
- So listen, uh,

do you have any plans for lunch?

Lunch? No.

Well, my daughters are fixing me lunch.

Why don't you come over?

Uh, I don't want to impose.

You're not imposing.

How about I pick you up around noon?

Noon? Okay.

All right, I'll see you at noon.

- All right.
- Bye.

Noon.

[Elevator dings]

Oh, go ahead. I've got
to go back up to my room.

♪♪

I'm just saying these new
micro fibers are taking

- the carpet industry by storm.
- Uh-uh, Dad.

Okay, she doesn't care about this stuff.

- Okay?
- [Chuckling]

Oh, I find it fascinating,

especially that you
have a family business.

It all looks so fun.

Oh, it can be.

I guess most days we're
either having fun,

- or ready to strangle one another.
- [Laughing]

- [Overlapping dialog]
- [Laughing]

Were you interested
in carpets as a child?

- Well...
- Oh, I think he came out the womb

- with a book of swatches.
- No, stop that.

No, now, when we first got started,

it wasn't about carpets,

I just wanted a family business.

I just came to love carpets.

- Oh.
- So, what are you doing in Denver?

Uh... um, my flight had a layover,

and then it was canceled,

and, uh, I was out, um,
following my sons who are DJs.

- Oh.
- Uh-huh.

Uh, they're names are Logan and Cody.

They call themselves the Loco Twins.

Which I guess, in Spanish, means crazy.

[Laughing]

Uh, maybe you know them?

Um, I don't think so.

Oh. Well, they opened
for the Chemical Brothers.

Oh, I think I heard of them.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- They're very well respected.

Wait, the Chemical Brothers?
I don't think...

Oh, you've heard of them.
Wait, wait, wait, look.

- Look, look, look.
- Oh, yes, yes, yes.

The Chemical Brothers, okay.

Uh-huh. Oh, they have
their own Wikipedia article,

and everything. Wow.

Now, they're real brothers, right?

- Well, I would hope so.
- [Laughing]

Well, this is nice.
Very impressive, huh?

- Yes, it is. It's cool.
- Very nice.

- That's cool.
- I am done with my tomato cutting.

Oh, thank you, Christine. We're just
gonna throw those in the salad.

- Okay.
- And let's eat.

- It's time to eat.
- 'Cause we're hungry.

- Yeah, I'm hungry.
- And I'm saying the blessing this time.

Daddy, don't be too long
winded this time, please.

Make it two minutes this
time, two minutes. Okay?

Ken: I'm gonna say "Jesus wept."
We gonna be right out of here.

- He knows how you...
- He gonna talk about Jesus for 20 minutes.

He know he wept, okay?
He did the weeping.

Let me get this bread.

[Laughing]

All right, we gotta get
her to the doctor.

What are we still doing here?

Um, you know what? I got
my niece and nephew

to the dentist last
week with some cookies.

I probably still have some.

Yeah? What kind are they?

Mint Milano.

She only likes Chips
Ahoy, unfortunately.

Well, how would your mom handle it?

Well, she would just eat the Milanos.

Or the Chips Ahoy.

No, I mean how would your mom
handle your grandmother?

Oh, she wouldn't put up with this,

she'd just put her foot down.

- Hit me, hit me.
- Well, why don't you try that?

Oh, she's my grandmother.
I don't want to do that.

Plus, she doesn't respect me

because she thinks I'm an idiot clown.

Well, you could... you could
make her respect you.

I mean, that's what your mom does.

Maybe be a little forceful with her,

and tell her we gotta get out of here.

Yeah, you can do it.

- What's that?
- Um, high five.

For what?

I was trying to help you get pumped up.

- Okay, let's do it.
- It's too late.

Meemaw, we're leaving right now, okay?

Okay, mister serious man.

Hit me.

I won!

Can we get the cookies, please?

- Woman: Esther!
- Huh? Enid!

Hey, it's free drinks and dollar
steaks in the caf. Let's go.

Oh! I'm coming.

- Should I get some more cookies?
- Yeah.

And Werther's Originals.
Do you have those?

Yes.

- I can't believe you have this.
- Yeah, well...

- It's cute, isn't it?
- Oh, it is.

- Yeah, Reagan.
- I loved your daughters.

- Oh, yeah.
- And the spaghetti.

[Laughs] Yeah, I'm a very lucky man.

Especially with Darla with all her
troubles over the years.

Those two have been my bedrock.

Yeah, I'm sorry about Darla.

How's she doing, uh...
How's she doing in prison?

I think she's okay.

You know, I learned something.

Sometimes you just have
to let your kids...

sit in their own mistakes.

Sometimes you can't fix 'em.

Yeah.

Well, I should get back to the hotel.

You know, I'm guest of the day.

[Chuckling] Say, listen,

we have a half a pitcher
of sangria, it's still early.

Come on, hang around a while.

Okay. Let me pour you some.

- Oh.
- Oh!

Oh, I'm so sorry.

No, no, no, don't worry about it.

Don't worry about it. It's okay.

No, I'm gonna show you something.
You're gonna love this.

- I'm such a klutz.
- No, you're not a klutz.

Stop it, you're not a klutz.

That's what I've been sayin',
I've been waiting to show this to somebody.

- [Spraying]
- Watch.

This new Stain Master, it is amazing.

It is gonna revolutionize
the carpet industry.

Ready? Watch.

Voila!

Oh. That's amazing.

Isn't that something? Feel it.

- Oh, I will.
- Feels just like wool.

Oh, my God.

Wow.

Mm.

I'm so happy I'm here.

I'm glad you're here, too.

I... I didn't have a layover.

I know.

I just thought, well, would he...

Would I... Should I go? Should I...

Would he want to... Oh, I don't know.

[Sighs] Oh.

- Cheers to us.
- Oh, yeah.

To all us. To us.

- Ahh.
- There you go.

- Good.
- Meemaw.

- Hm?
- Can... Can we think about

going to the doctor, please?

Oh. Edwin, did you hear my grandson?

He says I have to go to the doctor.

Is that so?

I was a doctor for 47 years.

How do I look?

- Oh, okay by me. Yeah.
- [Chuckling]

- Appointment done.
- Meemaw, please.

Have something to eat.
The steaks are a buck.

I'm not hungry right now.

Why not? Is there
something wrong with you?

No, I just...

I promised Mom that I would take
you to the doctor.

That's all. I'm trying
to be a good person here.

I'm trying to be a good son.

I'll tell your mom how fabulous you are.

I'm trying to show her that I have
responsibility as well. Okay?

But you're doing something responsible.

You're-- You're elongating my life

Because you took me to have
a good time with my friends.

- Yeah.
- What could be better?

You think a doctor's gonna
make me healthy?

I'm healthy when I'm livin' my life.

- Yeah.
- Right?

Hey, Esther, do
that little dance you do.

- Come on.
- Hey, you should...

- You should have seen her.
- No, no.

- Yeah, do it.
- She was really something.

- Esther.
- Get up there, Esther.

- Get up there, Esther.
- I can't.

Come on, Esther, do it.

I can't walk. How am I gonna dance?

- Get outta here.
- Okay.

Do the dance. All right?
Then we gotta do.

- Get up there, Esther.
- For you, kid, anything.

- Get up.
- Oh boy.

[Laughing]

And a five, six, seven, eight.

- [Cracking]
- Whoa!

[Police radio chatter]

[Sobbing]

I'm so sorry, Chip.

What you thinkin' about?

Oh.

I was thinkin' when I was young,

I couldn't wait to move
out and start my own life.

I thought I'd be an actress
or a successful business woman.

And then I told myself when
the boys got out of the house,

and started their lives,

that I'd do the same thing.

And then I thought Dale had it together.

But he didn't. He's starting over.

And, well, Chip. [Chuckles]

I help them, I wait for them,

and for what?

My life gets lost in the shuffle.

I don't think this time

I'm gonna be able to forgive them.

[Cell phone rings]

You don't have to answer.

You're a good mom, Christine.

You're also a lot more.

Hello.

[Carousel rattling]

I'm sorry.

Me too.

Let's go home.

I'm sorry.

♪♪