Based on a True Story (2023–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - The Great American Art Form - full transcript

- So how'd it go?

- He was actually kind of nice.

- See, I told you
it would go well.

- Second date Friday!

- Ah, that's why you're
working out at 11:00 at night.

- Um, okay, talk tomorrow.

- Okay, I love you.
- Love you.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Okay.

- What's up? What's up, guys?

Welcome back to
Exoglass Studios.



It's your girl,
Roxie, and I'm here

with your 30-minute hip workout.

But that's enough talking.

Let's get right into it
with some jumping jacks.

Here we go. And one, two.

Get those arms all
the way up overhead.

You got this. We're
just getting started.

And three. Right
into butt kicks.

Two. Last one.

Butt kick.

I'm bringing my heels
all the way to my booty.

You're doing great.

Go ahead and add in those arms.

Good. Squat nice and low.



Kill those squats.
Hold it here and pulse.

Four, three, we're
going into fasties,

two, almost there.

Four, three, two, one
more, and release.

Come on, I know it's hurting,
but it hurts so good.

Whew, you are gonna feel
that in the morning.

And we're not done yet.
Now, let's run it out.

Hustle, hustle, hustle.

- And Nathan Bartlett
steps up to serve.

It's match point for the
biggest win of his career.

Let's see if he's got
the eye of the tiger.

Forehand down
the line. Winner!

Nathan Bartlett takes out

world number one Roger
Federer 6-4, 6-2.

- Little slow there, Roger.

- What a gutsy,
never-say-die win.

Could Bartlett be America's
next top ten player?

- Based on the
patterns we discovered,

we fear the Westside Ripper
will strike again soon.

- Do we have to wake up
to murder every morning?

- They're talking about
that serial killer

that's basically
in our back yard.

It is so exciting.

- Shouldn't we be playing
"Baby Mozart" or something?

- The signs are up.
The flyers are out.

I'm baking cookies like
a fucking Keebler elf.

This house is gonna move fast.
- It better.

The sellers are
losing their patience.

- All right, I got this, Paul.

- Ow, shit, that's hot.
- Obviously.

I just took them out.
Are those are my pants?

- Well, it's not like you're
gonna be wearing them anymore.

- Ugh.
- Love you.

Morning.
- Morning.

- The cookies are awesome.

- I used to have
an ass like that.

- You still have
an ass like that.

- And my sister is
having so much more sex

than I ever did.
- Really?

- Yeah.
- Speak for yourself.

- Oh, excuse me?
- I did really good.

- Don't forget the pizza.

- I found both victims
lying beside each other.

The killer had
dismembered the bodies.

- Detective Hardwick of the
Chicago Homicide Division

was the first to arrive
at the horrific scene.

- He cut off the arms,
the hands, the legs,

the heads, everything.

Then he put the
bodies back together,

except for one small detail.

He swapped the heads.

- Hey, excuse me.
- Hi.

- Has the open
house started yet?

- Uh, uh, yeah, yeah, of course.

I'm Ava. You can
go and head in.

I'll be right behind you.

- Cool.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- Okay. Wow.

Edgeless pool and
spa, facing south,

so you know you get
the sun all day.

Huge barbecue area.

I mean, it's your
own private resort

back here, right?

So you've got the one bedroom
downstairs and four upstairs.

It's about 5,000 square feet.

- Have you been doing this long?

- Real estate?
- Mm-hmm.

- Like five years.

- Do you enjoy it?

- Uh, yeah. Yeah, I do.

Actually, I mean, when you
meet a couple that, you know,

finds their dream
house, a place where

they wanna raise their family,
it's a really sweet moment.

- Love the view.
- Hmm?

- The view?
- Mm.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, it's a g...

- What's up, Jim?
Ladies, good morning.

Tess, you gotta turn
your shoulders more.

There it is.
- Thanks, Coach.

- Hi.
- Oh, hey.

You gotta try the yellowtail.
Herb's new menu is amazing.

- Can we talk for a moment?
- Oh, yeah.

- So what do you think?

- Yeah, it's... It's not
quite what I'm after.

- Okay.

- Management wants
to make a change.

- What kind of change?

- They want a new
director of tennis.

- Wait, what? Am I being fired?

- Well, more like demoted.

- I've been here for 17 years.

- Yes, I think that's
part of the issue.

- Wait, Michelle, I...

I... I helped build this club.

There was 200 members
here when I first arrived.

- You don't have any other
Palisades listings, do you?

- No, no, not this week, so...

- But I did see you had
a few listings in Palms

for one-bedroom apartments.

- Yeah.
- Mason's taking over.

- Mason?
- Yeah.

- The new guy?
He's 25 years old.

- 24.
- He is?

- Yeah, but his Cardio
and Cocktails, killing it.

- Watch it all the way.

Come on, Amy.
- Oh.

- Ooh, missed a shot
and take a shot.

Come on, meet me here.
- That's not tennis.

- Okay.

- Yeah, but stay-at-home
moms love him.

- They don't love
him. They're drunk.

- I'm thinking you're stuck
in the low-end market.

You can't get out,
and your boss gave you

this listing as a favor.

Well, you gotta start
somewhere, right?

- You know I'm gonna
be a dad soon, right?

- I have a family too.
- I know you do.

You have a beautiful family.

- And that's why Mason's in
and you're moving to red ball.

- Red ball?
- I'm sorry.

- That's for five-year-olds.
- Yeah, I'm sorry.

- Hey, bad news, no
offers on the house.

- Oh, fantastic.

I just got fired.

- What? Are you serious?

- Well, demoted.

- I think the toilet's broken.
- Wait a minute, what happened?

- I lost my power base.

All the moms moved
over to Mason...

Cardio and Cocktail.
- Mason, that young one?

That new hot coach over there?
- Okay, take it easy.

He's not that hot.
- This is bullshit.

After everything you've
done for that place?

- Yeah, I'm on
commission... Red ball.

- The five-year-olds?

- Guys, hey, I need
some help, like, now.

- Ugh, what?

- What the fuck
is going on, Tory?

- Oh, oh!

- I don't know what to do!

- What happened?
- I don't know.

It just started overflowing.
- No!

Oh, no.

- Right this way.

I've got quite a
treat for you here...

Our flagship product,
the Toto Aquia.

- Ooh.

- Automatic lid, air
dry, heated seat,

bidet, and a unique
glazed throat

that eliminates debris.

- Oh, that sounds, uh, great,
but do you have any toilets?

- I think he... It's
probably a little

out of our price range.

- It's $4,000.
- Ooh.

- Yeah, do you have
one that you could

just sit on and go poop?

- Oh, my God.
- Is that available?

- Are you serious?
- What?

Yeah, money's tight.

We're gonna be
fine. I have plans.

You'll see.

We're all gonna be living
in a Malibu beach house

in no time, trust me.

- Is it the tennis
academy that you've been

talking about for years?

Because I'm pretty sure
that ship has sailed.

- No, actually, it's a
tennis podcast, right?

I talk about my
time on the tour,

the ups, the downs.

I think people will
really like it.

What do you think?

- Okay, I don't think
anyone wants to listen

to a podcast about tennis.
I'm sorry, I don't.

But you know what they
do wanna listen to?

Murder.

- Not everyone's obsessed
with murder like you.

- Yes, they are. These
things sell for millions.

- Millions?
- Yes.

"Root of Evil,"
"Sisters in Crime."

It's like the fucking gold rush.

So unless you know
someone that got stabbed

on center court Wimbledon,

then maybe you should
forget about tennis.

- Forget about tennis?

Really?
- Not forget.

You know what I mean.
- Forget about tennis?

You want me to just
forget my whole life?

- You think I don't
see you sitting

on the toilet watching
old YouTube videos

of the day you beat Federer?

Do you really think
that's healthy?

- Do you think it's healthy
to spend every night

with a bunch of dead
people? Because I don't.

- Uh, maybe I wouldn't
have to if we actually

did something once in a while.

The biggest thing we did
in the last three years

is go buy a toilet
that costs 150 bucks.

- Okay, so that's
what this is about.

Why didn't you just say
that? It's about money.

I'm sorry I didn't get you
the fucking Toto, babe.

- It's not about the Toto.

- I'm sorry it doesn't
spray up your ass.

- It's not about the Toto!

- So why do you keep
talking about money, then?

- I'm not! You brought it up.
You're making it about money.

Money's not the problem.
What happened to us?

We used to be the cool,
fun tennis couple.

We used to support each other.

We were gonna conquer
the world together.

Like, what the fuck happened?

- Okay, so what you're
saying is, I'm the problem.

- Oh, my God.

- I'm the problem
'cause I failed, right?

- You always do this.
- Yeah, yeah, I failed you.

I got hurt.

Then I got my ass fired,

and now I can't
get you the mansion

like all your fancy
fucking friends.

- Oh.
- You knew who you married.

- You know what, I didn't,

because you're not
the guy I married.

- What did you say?

- You're obviously
the guy I married.

That's not what I meant.
- That's what you said.

- I know that, but
that's not how...

It came out wrong. Come
on, please don't do this.

- I'm sorry I'm not
the guy you married.

And I'm sorry I got
hurt. I'm really sorry.

- Oh, my God, come on.
- I'm sorry I got fired.

I'm sorry I have
no fucking money.

I'm sorry I'm old. I'm
sorry I got no friends.

I'm fucking sorry, okay?

- It came out wrong.
Babe, I'm sorry.

Babe, please.

- Gonna be a big tennis champ?

Gonna impress your daddy?
Gonna impress your wife?

You can't do shit.
You can't do it.

You can't fucking do it.
You're gonna fucking...

You know, I'm done.

I'm fucking... I'm fucking done!

- The great American art form

isn't music or
film or television.

The great American
art form is murder.

We watch it. We celebrate it.

We obsess over it,
and we commit it.

What drives someone to
murder another human being?

What kind of person
could do that?

- Hey, I'm Matt, plumber.

- Hi.
- Great.

We need you. Come on in.

- Oh, one sec. Sorry.

Never bring dirt into a home.

That's a priority.

Okay, one more second,
Yep, almost done.

- Right down this way.
- Great, thanks.

- Down the hall here.
- Hey, is that, uh,

is that Binghamton?
- Yeah, I grew up near there.

- No way.
- Yeah.

- Me too.
- Really?

- Yeah, they had that
great ice cream store.

- Slippy's, oh.
- Oh, my God.

- Best mint chip ever.
- Right?

- Oh.
- Man, small world.

- Can you believe that?
- It's nuts.

You wanna... you
wanna head back?

- Yeah. Well, uh,
toilet awaits.

- Let's do it, yeah.
So it's down here.

It's just... it's a gusher.

- Hey.

- Hot plumber.

- I know.

- American Standard
is a solid unit.

They try to upsell
you on the Toto?

- They did, actually.
- They always do.

It's bullshit.

I mean, who needs a toilet
for a status symbol, right?

- Yeah, that's
exactly what I think.

- Yeah?

Hey, can I ask you something?

- Sure.
- I saw that wall out there.

That... that was you, right?

I mean, all those
tennis trophies.

- Oh, yeah, yeah, I
won a lot of juniors.

- Yeah, no, I remember you.
- Really?

- Yeah, you were gonna be,
like, the next Agassi, right?

- That's what they said
until I blew my knee out.

- Ah, that's a bummer.
- Never really made it back.

Yeah.
- Yeah.

You know, I play a little.

Nothing like you,
just, you know,

I hit with my buddies.

They used to have
these great courts

near my apartment in Pomona.

- Pomona? You live in
Pomona? That's a drive.

- Oh, no, no, no, I used to.

You know, it got too dangerous.

Someone got attacked
in my building.

So I took off, came to LA,

you know... for the glamour.

You know? You still hit?

- I coach over at
the Beverly Club.

- Oh, wow.

I bet they're glad to have
someone as good as you around.

- Yeah, yeah, they're
very excited, yeah.

- I don't know, if you
ever got time, I'd...

I'd love to hit.

- Uh, sure, yeah.

I mean, I'd kick
the shit out of you.

- It would be my
honor, you know?

All right, you are...

Ready for action.

- Fantastic.
- Hey, guys.

Hi, Matt, can you
check one more thing

while you're here?
- Uh, yeah, sure.

- What's up?
- Well...

wait, is that mold?

Ugh, Stachybotrys.

- Stachy what?
- Oh.

- It's a type of mold.

You're gonna have to
rip the whole thing out.

- Oh, my God.
- No, no, no.

The whole thing?
- Yeah.

- Oh, shit.

- Okay. Um...
- This is not good.

- We're gonna be fine.
- Mm.

- I'm just curious how much
you think that might run us.

- Oh, I... I mean,
it's a big job.

It's not gonna be cheap.
- Yeah, yeah, I figured that.

We're having a little
cash-flow situation.

Not a big deal.
We're gonna be fine.

But I was just thinking, what...

Would you be up
for doing a deal?

How about three months
of free tennis lessons

with this guy?
- Oh, uh...

- Twice a week?

Elbow up. Head still.

Finish high. Kiss the bicep.

- Oh, the student has
become the master.

- Nice shot.

- I guess that makes me
better than Federer, huh?

- Okay.

- You're gonna have to give
me one of your fancy trophies.

- Here we go. There it is.

- Okay.
- Gotta run.

- Oh!
- Try to use your feet.

- You having fun yet?

All right, all
right, I surrender.

You win.

- We could go again.
- No, man.

No, no, no, that was
fucking exhausting.

You're so good.

- We'll get you there.
- Ah.

- You got a good forehand.
- Hmm?

- Backhand is shit.

What's going on there?

- They call that
Thirsty Thursdays.

This used to be my kingdom.

LA, right?

It's a brutal city,
especially when

you're pushing 50.
I'm just invisible.

- Yeah? Try being a plumber.

- Hey, man, Thirsty Thursday.
- Oh, shit.

- Half-price cocktails.
What do you say?

- Ah, we're good, thanks.

I'm just in the middle
of a lesson right now.

- What's up, brother?
- Hey.

- Coach, can I get
you for a second?

- Excuse me a second.
- Yeah, fine.

- What's up?

- Hey.

I just wanted to say, uh,

I had nothing to do
with what went down.

Okay, I didn't ask
for your position.

They just, like, gave it to me.
- Yeah.

- And I feel really bad about it

because I have been
a huge fan of yours.

A long time, coming up,
when I was a little kid,

you know?
- Yeah, it's fine.

I got Riviera chasing me,
Mulholland chasing me.

- Oh, that's great. Fuck yeah.

- Yeah, it's great.
- Okay, cool.

And you know what?

If that doesn't pan out for you,

I've actually been
talking to the club

about keeping you on
here as coach emeritus.

- Coach emeritus?

- It's Latin.

It means, like, a
respected elder.

- Really? Is that
what it means?

- Yeah.

I thought it might be a nice way

to just kick some
cash your way and...

- I don't need
your fucking cash.

- Okay.

I hear you, big guy. Um...

All right.
- Anything else?

- I'll see you
around. It's all good.

- Cheers!
- Love you guys.

- I wish I was drinking
that instead of this shit.

- So have you gotten to the part

where he swaps the head?

- Da, da, da, no
spoilers, no spoilers.

- That's not a spoiler.

- It is a spoiler
'cause you said "he."

So now I know the
killer is a he.

- Well, of course,
the killer is he.

It's not a she. Women
do not swap heads.

That is not something that...
- See you guys later.

- We would do.
- Oh, okay.

- Hey.
- Tori, Tori.

- Okay, hello.
- Does someone have a date?

- No, nobody goes on a date.
It's like a Tinder fuck fest.

- That's true.
- No, don't say that.

Listen, I had a friend
go on a Tinder date.

Everything was going great.

They watched "The Notebook"
until he tied her up

and pooped in her mouth.
- Was it consensual?

- That's crazy.
- No, you're right.

I should just stay
here and get drunk

and talk about
heads being cut off.

- Okay, what do you even
know about this guy, though?

Seriously, don't you
wanna meet someone,

like, responsible and... and...

- No, no, I prefer the fuck-ups.

They're way more
fun. One more thing.

Should I use protection,
or should he just pull out?

You know, if I end
up on "Dateline,"

I can leave a massive DNA
trail for you weirdos.

- Yes! Get that DNA!

- The more, the
better, honestly.

- Save it, bring it home.

- You're always thinking ahead.
- I like that.

- All right, you guys
don't get too crazy.

- Okay, do it for us, girl.
- Brilliant.

- To be young
and hot and young.

- She's right, you guys.

Look at us, always
sitting around,

drinking wine, talking
about vicious murders.

Like, what is wrong with us?

- So after he swapped the heads?

- Yes.
- Right.

- Oh!
- Oh, shit.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Why are you so
fucking good at darts?

- Oh, man, you know, I spent
a lot of tequila time here

when my marriage
was going under.

Ah, fuck. I jinxed myself.

- You guys didn't make it?

- You know what? We tried.

I mean, we went to
therapy, went to Fiji.

Had a baby.

- You had a baby to
save your marriage?

Shit.

You're the last guy I
should be hanging out with.

- Oh, no, dude, I mean, you
know, sorry, it's just...

I'm just being real.

People do crazy shit
in a bad marriage.

The lesson is, I should
have just let it die.

- I would totally
date a guy in prison.

- No, you would not.
- I would.

- Explain, explain.

- Like, they're always
excited to see you.

You always know where they are.

- Mm.
- Oh, yes.

- They can't check out
their exes on Insta.

- Mm.
- No wet spot.

- Ooh, that one, yep.

- Okay, when you
put it like this,

it actually sounds
kind of perfect.

- I know.

- I don't know, I
feel like affairs

are, like, a lot of work.

Like, you gotta delete texts.

You've gotta get
rid of your phone,

your laptop, the evidence
that leads to them.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Okay, okay, so it sounds
like someone... you...

Has put a lot of
thought into that.

- No, I haven't.
- What are you up to?

- I'm having an affair.

- I'm sorry, what?
- You called it.

- For, like, six months now.

- Oh, my God, does Simon know?
- Well, that's the thing.

He's having one, too, with Val.

- Your bikini waxer?
- Yeah.

- Okay, do you and Simon,
like, talk about it?

- No, we don't talk about it.
- Ew.

- That's weird.
- We're not fucking weirdos.

No, we just have quiet,
desperate affairs,

right, like normal people.

- Okay, but, babe,
that is not normal.

Like, right, guys?
I mean...

What?

All three of you
are having affairs?

- On and off.

- I'm just saying, you just...

You gotta keep the
marriage alive somehow.

- Mm-hmm.
- Am I right?

- Yes.
- Am I right?

- Mm-hmm.
- Thank you.

- Fuck you.

Oh, fuck you.
- Yeah.

Next round's on you, buddy.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Can I get two
tequila shots, please?

- Yeah.

- It's a busy night, huh?

It's really... Really
rocking in here.

- Yeah, busy is good.

It makes time pass quicker.

- You don't like hanging out
with a bunch of drunk guys?

- Depends on the guy.

That's 17.

Thanks.

- Okay, yeah, I got
that right here.

That's for you, and you
can just keep the rest.

- Oh, thank you.

- Thank you.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

Here we go.

- Hey, the bartender
is into you.

- Oh, bullshit.

I'm the freaking
bartender's dad.

- Told ya.

- They swap murders.

- Swimming in a circular...

- Still no leads in the
case of the serial killer

terrorizing Los Angeles,
the Westside Ripper,

who has claimed
six lives so far,

leaving residents in
a state of terror.

And now an update on a
case that has gripped...

- What... uh...

- This belong to you?
- What is... what happened?

- Like five too many
tequila shots, maybe.

- Oh, God, babe.

- Yeah, where...
Where do you want him?

- Here.
- Yeah.

- Here, put him...

Just, like, lay
him or something.

Oh, my gosh.
- Okay.

- Thank you for
getting him home.

- No problem. He's
one of the good guys.

- I mean, so are you.
Oh, my God, thank you.

- All right, you
sleep that off, buddy.

I'll see you tomorrow.
- Bye.

Babe?

- Hey.
- Hi.

- What are you doing here?

- Oh, I live here.

Matt just dropped you off.

- I like that guy.

- Yeah, me too.
He's super nice.

- We're both invisible.

- What?

Babe?

- What's gonna happen to us?

- You know, someone once
told me to never trust

a plumber with no ass crack.

- Yeah, well, I'm just over here

trying to break a stereotype.

- Mm, that's disappointing,
but I respect it.

- Sorry.

What, are you headed
back to school?

- Yeah, today, actually.

Gotta cram for my midterms.

- Yeah? What do you study?
- I'm pre-law.

- Really?
- Wow, don't act so surprised.

Don't I look like a lawyer?

- Uh...

Hey, can I ask you something?
- Yeah, sure.

You've been spending a
lot of time with Nathan.

Is he doing okay?
- Ah, he's gonna be fine.

Oh, speak of the devil.

All right, I'm gonna head home.

We're throwing tonight.
- Darts again?

- You wanna come and
drive back tomorrow?

- No, no, I don't
wanna get in the way

of this beautiful
blossoming bromance, so...

- Yeah.

Well, uh...

You crush those midterms.

Oh!
- Very nice.

I'm gonna pee.

- Oh.
- Oh.

- Oh, I'm so sorry.
Are you okay?

- Uh.
- Oh, hey.

- I'm sorry, sir.
That was my fault.

- No, no, we... We
met the other night.

We were... I came up to
the bar to get a shot.

- Oh. Yeah, yeah, I remember.

Um, well, see you.

- See you.

- I told you it would go well.

- Second date Friday!

- Nate?

Nate?

Okay.

And who's this bitch?

Ugh.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Unbelie... oh, you're dead.

I'm so sorry. Okay.

Last night?

- I'm here at the scene
of the brutal slaying

of Chloe Lake, a
28-year-old bartender,

in an apartment building
in Venice overnight.

Police believe she
is the seventh victim

of the serial killer known
as the Westside Ripper.

- The Westside Ripper.

- Hey.

I just got bitched
out by a six-year-old.

- What time did you
get home last night?

- Well, you were asleep and
I didn't wanna wake you.

- What time did you get in?

- What's with all the questions?

You were looking at my laptop?

- Who is she and what
the hell is going on?

- That is the craziest story.

You won't believe it.
- Try me.

- Okay, well, I'm out with
Matt last night at the bar.

I go to get drinks, and, boom,

that girl comes out
of the bathroom.

She bumps into me... I
mean, full-on hip checks me.

I say sorry. She says sorry.

I don't think anything of
it. She takes off, gone.

This morning, I
check out the news.

I find out she was
murdered last night.

- So this girl was
with you at the bar

last night before
she was killed?

- No, no, she wasn't with me.

She bumped into me,
and now she's dead.

It's unbelievable.

- Okay, so you...

Then you googled her
because she was murdered?

- Yeah, I mean, it's weird.

It just freaked me out.

- They think it was
the Westside Ripper.

- Really?

- I mean, maybe he was
at the bar last night.

Maybe you even saw him.
Did anyone look suspicious?

- There was one
guy she was with.

It looked like a date.

- Okay, no, that
wouldn't be him.

- How do you know?

- No serial killer is gonna
take someone out in public

and then kill them after.
That's not the Ripper's style.

Trust me, I know
my serial killers.

And this one is still out there.

- I can't believe that Nathan
knew the girl that got killed.

- Oh, no, no, no, he
didn't know-know her.

He just accidentally
bumped into her.

- But, still, that
is, like, so creepy.

- It's not that creepy.

It just was a thing
that, you know...

- And it wasn't just,
like, a regular killer.

I mean, this is the big kahuna.

This is the Westside Ripper.
- Yeah, I know who...

- And I bet you
anything the cops

are gonna wanna interview him.

Uh, the... excuse me, sir.
- Okay, I'm...

- Thank you.

- There's been a
potential breakthrough

in the recent
Westside Ripper murder

of 28-year-old Chloe Lake.

Kelly Monroe has
more at the scene.

- Thank you, Lynette.

Police sources
here have revealed

that the killer left something
behind in this alley...

- Ava, where are you...

Oh, my God.

- Hey, Google,
call Nathan's cell.

Call Nathan's cell.

Pick up, pick up, pick up!

Come on!

- Hey, brother.
- Hey.

- How's it looking?
- Yeah, pretty good.

- I got the craziest story
for you from the other night.

You're not gonna believe it.

So I come out...
- Nate.

- Hey, babe.
- Hey.

Can you help me with something
in the bedroom real quick?

- Yeah, sure, one sec.
- No, now, actually.

I just need you super
fast. Hey, Matt.

- Hey.
- Just...

Come here.

- Okay.

- Hey.
- Hey.

What's going on?
- Yeah.

- Jesus, what is
it? Are you okay?

- I need you to stay calm

so I can show you
something real quick.

Okay?
- Okay.

- Kelly Monroe has more.
- I love Kelly Monroe.

- It's not about her.
- Thanks, Lynette.

Police sources
here have revealed

that the killer left something
behind in this alley...

A blood-soaked blue bootie...

- Yeah.
- There it is.

- Worn over shoes by a variety
of home-service providers.

LAPD forensics is working on...

- Yeah.

- That doesn't...

I mean, what are you saying?

- Did Matt notice the girl
at the bar the other night?

- What girl?
- The...

The DB, the dead body, the
girl that was murdered.

- He left right after she did.

- Oh, my God, he
followed her. Holy shit.

Oh, my God, okay, okay.

Matt showed up this
morning with scratches

all over his arms.
- What?

- Yes, yes, big, red,
angry, new scratches, okay?

And he said his cat did it.

- I don't think he has a cat.
- Mm.

I'm telling you, it's Matt.

Matt is the Westside
Ripper. I know my killers.

It is him, and he
is right there.

- But he can't be. It can't be.

- Okay, do you wanna...

Do you wanna just
go in and ask him?

Because he has the same
blue booties as the killer.

He followed the
girl out of the bar,

and an hour later, she
was stabbed 37 times,

and then he waltzes
in this morning

with don't-kill-me
scratches on his arms

from his imaginary cat.
- Okay.

- What more do you want?

- I've hung out with
him a dozen times.

- Mm.
- He's just a normal guy.

- Okay, do you think Ted
Bundy wore a T-shirt...

"I fuck corpses"?
- I beg you.

You gotta stop listening
to these podcasts, please.

- What do you guys talk about?
How well do you know him?

What's... what's going on with
your little friend over there?

- What do you mean?
We talk all the time.

- What do you talk about?
- Just normal stuff, guy stuff.

- Like what? What?

- Well, he told
me he's got a kid.

Dating in LA, you
know, it sucks.

He used to live in Pomona.
- Pomona.

Okay, what'd he say
about that? Anything?

What? What? What?

- He said he moved
to Los Angeles

because someone got attacked
in his apartment building.

- Shut up. Are you serious?

Attacked in his
building in Pomona?

- That's what he said.

- Oh, my God, please.
Okay, what else?

What else? When was that?

- I mean, I think it
was, like, two years ago.

- Two years ago, okay.

Hey, Google, search
unsolved murders

Pomona apartment
building 2021. Okay.

- 24 murders?

What the fuck is up with Pomona?

- Wait, we gotta narrow down
our suspects here, let's see.

Unsolved murder of
82-year-old Sharon Simpson.

That's... that's not a thing.

He murders really young,
hot brunettes like...

Like this one.

Murder in apartment
building, 242 Park Street.

Police found the victim,
Nicole Gibson, stabbed.

That is the girl from Pomona.

- Okay, type in the address.
- That is just...

- Do bird's eye...
- Okay.

- 'Cause he said that...
- Oh, gosh.

- His apartment building was
next to some tennis courts.

- Okay, bird's eye.

- Yeah.
- Tennis courts.

You mean those tennis
courts? Oh, my God.

- Oh, shit.
- Oh, my God.

- Oh, shit.

- It is him. I knew it.
- Lower your voice.

- He killed this girl in
Pomona, and now he's here.

He's the Westside
fucking Ripper.

I guess he didn't find me
attractive enough to kill,

but whatever.
- Oh, really?

Really?
- I'm just saying.

- I'm sure there'll be
other serial killers

that find you hot
enough to kill.

- I'm just saying.

- Why would he just
mention Pomona?

He just volunteered it.

- Because he's
getting off on it.

He is gloating. This
is what they do.

I know these guys.

BTK, Zodiac, they
love to secretly boast

that no one can
actually catch them.

Think about it. Think about it.

To the outside world, Matt
is just the toilet guy,

but deep inside,
he has a secret...

A huge, powerful secret.

I mean, can you
imagine if they knew

he was the Westside Ripper?
- Hey, guys?

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Uh, sorry, I'm just
headed out, but, um,

what did you want to
tell me back there?

- Hmm?

- What was it I was gonna...
- Mm.

- Yeah, back there.

- I...
- Before?

- When we were back there?
- Yeah.

- Hmm. What did you...

- I have... you
know, it's crazy.

I have no idea.

- Oh, my God, babe.
- No idea?

- He does this all the time now.

I'm worried.

- Oh, no, we'll
get it worked on.

- Call the doctor for you.
- Yeah.

- You'll get old like this guy.

- Well, listen, in that case,

I got some bad news.

- Mm-hmm.

- The last hot water
pipe, it's leaking.

- Oh.
- Look, I tried to patch it.

- We're gonna have
to change it out.

I just didn't wanna...

- Oh, my God.
- Sure.

- You guys to curse me
when I'm gone, you know?

- You?
- We would...

- We would...

- You're the last
person we would curse.

- Never.

- Okay, well, you know, I'll...

I'll pick one up,
bring it back tomorrow.

- Yeah.
- All right?

You know, it's gonna cost
you a few more lessons.

- Absolutely.

- And just... just call
me if you wanna throw.

- Sure.
- Yeah?

- Is he going?
- He's walking.

He's leaving.
- Okay.

- He's leaving. He's leaving.
- Just keep an eye on him.

I'll call 911, get a
SWAT team on his ass.

- What the hell are you doing?

- Let's think this through.

- Think this... what the
fu... What does that mean?

We have a fucking serial
killer in our house.

He could come back any second.

- I know, I know, but someone
is gonna jump on this, okay?

You can call 911.

And, sure, he's
gonna get arrested.

There'll be a trial.

Someone will write a book
about this, guaranteed.

- This isn't one
of your podcasts.

- But it is.

It is exactly like
one of my podcasts,

except it's happening to us.

What if we do it?

What if-what if we make a
podcast about this together,

you and me? We...
we own this story.

- You're out of
your fucking mind.

- No, think about it.

We could bring him in on it.

- Bring the killer in on what?

- The podcast. We
force him to do it.

Oh, my God, this has
never been done before.

- Yeah, you know why?
Because he'd fucking kill us.

- No, no, he will not kill us,

because that's the beauty of it.

We will stop him from killing.

We will say, "Sir, no more
killing or we go to the cops."

No one ever gets
hurt ever again,

and that's because of us.

- Okay, so we force
him to do a podcast,

"My Plumber, The
Serial Killer."

And then, after a few months,

we secretly turn him over
to the cops when we're done.

- Exactly, yes,
except we call it

"A Murderer Speaks."

No, no, no, no, we call it
"The Westside Ripper Speaks."

Whatever, something like that.
I mean, we're gonna brand it.

Oh, my God, this
is gonna go viral.

And we'll make him answer.

You know, why does he do it?
How? Why doesn't he quit?

Everything, straight from
the mouth of a serial killer

who's still out there.

Oh, my God, we'll
disguise his voice.

People are gonna go nuts. This
is gonna change our lives!

- You really think
the Westside Ripper

is gonna do this?

- Okay, either he does a
podcast or he goes to prison

for the rest of his life.
What would you choose?

- What would I do?
- Yeah.

Look, you can...
You can call 911,

but how are you gonna feel?

How are you gonna feel
when the girl from "Serial"

shows up, or "Crime Junkie,"
or "Sisters in Crime"?

And then it's their story.

It's not ours anymore.
Sure, they'll interview us.

We'll have our
little five minutes,

but that'll be it, and
then, you, me, and this baby

are gonna have to go live
in a one-bedroom apartment

because we can't
afford the mortgage.

You're gonna go
back to red ball.

I'll go back to sitting
in an empty open house,

you know, hustling for 3%

while I'm sitting there
having sexual fantasies

about my buyers.
- Wait, you what?

- I don't... I don't
know why I said that.

I'm pregnant and
saying crazy shit.

I mean...

- You have sexual fantasies
about your buyers?

- Okay, babe, do you know we're
the only couple stupid enough

not to be having affairs?

- Is that true?

- Listen, let's do this,

you and me together, please.

We are good people, okay?

We have played by the rules
and look where it got us.

But now, finally...
Finally, some good luck.

A serial killer has
fallen into our laps.

- That's good luck?

- Yes, God put him in
our kitchen for a reason.

- We should be thanking
God that that fucker

hasn't killed us,
not for bringing him

into our lives.
- Come on, please.

- No.

No.

- 911 is calling me.
- Answer it, tell them.

- Someone called 911
from this number.

Is there an emergency?

Hello? Is everything okay?

Is there an emergency?

Hello? Is everything okay?

- Hey.
- Hey.

Man, great spot.

- Right?

- You good?
- Oh, yeah.

You?
- Yeah.

All right, show me what you got.

How'd you find this place?

- I didn't really ask you
to go out here to surf.

- Oh, yeah?

What... what are we doing here?

- I wanted you to see
that no one was around.

- Uh.

- No one's watching.
No one's listening.

- All right.
- It's just us.

- I'm not wearing a wire.
You can pat me down.

- Check you for...

Why would I wanna do that?

- I know who you are.

- Who I am?

- A serial killer.

The Westside Ripper.

- All
right, this is a...

This is a joke, right?

- Don't worry, I'm
not gonna turn you in.

I have a proposition for you.

both: Nice shot, Dad!